Time For Some Sexy New Shoes

Do you ever have one of those weekends where every possible event happens on the same day? It’s almost as if my life just isn’t busy enough these days … Good lord, I never thought a woman in her so-called "prime" would get so tired.

Apart from an invite to play hockey (long story), take my Little Man to an out-of-town baseball tournament (thank heaven for carpool favours) and a few others, my little appointment book is bursting at the seams.

Despite all the options, I have one major event that I will not miss – the wedding of one of my friends from work. I love weddings, and especially the opportunity to get all dressed up. Most of my life is spent in work clothes, or slothing around the house in something comfy. I know that comes as quite a shocker – given all the naughty lingerie you see me wearing on my website. So when I get the chance to dress up (quite a bit more now for work or to party), I like to go all out. But I think you have also managed to see that side of me too!

There's going to be some serious "glam" at this wedding, and I'll have no worries about really putting it on for a change. Plus this weekend is also supposed to bring some nice weather, which means I am going for the sexy new LBD and stiletto heels look. Heck, I might even paint my nails!

Wearing sexy shoes remains one of life’s big challenges for me. Because I work in an environment that has some strict rules about footwear, finding heels that comply is difficult … not to mention finding heels I can stand to wear for a full day of marathonesque running. It’s a bigger challenge for my husband for his fashion sense. He openly admits to be a shoe-slut, and quietly endures my more sensible Monday-Friday choices.

This time around though, I found a great pair of heels to go with my new dress. So in honour of a sexy stiletto Saturday, I found this little bit on the Internet about why high heels are the sexiest shoes:

The stuff you strut is more sensual when you're up on your toes, says Do Gentlemen Really Prefer Blondes author Jena Pincott: "Heels force your pelvis to tilt so that both your rear end and chest stick out." One study showed that leg lengths 5 per cent longer than average are the most attractive, so for most women, a 1.5- to 3-inch heel would create the ideal leg length.

"This attraction might be evolutionary, because long legs are associated with better long-term health, which would appeal to a mate. Plus, much like a peacock flaunts his feathers, which are really quite heavy and a nuisance, a woman teetering in heels can show off her fitness and coordination."

If I had to pick one body part that I could say I was confident over, it would be my legs (not trying to be vain here guys, just sharing what some of you seem to suggest to me ...). I think if I was able to be more stylish on an everyday basis, maybe I'd play it up a bit more and show them off. You know, draw the attention down and away from other bits I'm not so OK with right now.

But a sexy set of stilettos also means a little prep work.

When Marilyn Monroe had her stilettos made uneven heights to accentuate her hip-wiggle, she understood the power of high heels. Ridiculous, to be sure, but her point might have been this: If you're going to wear heels, wear them well.

1. Posture is critical. Keep your spine upright and slightly arched, and shoulders back to avoid hunching over.
2. Start with one foot coming out at a slight outward angle, striking with the heel first. As you walk, continue the heel-toe step.
3. Minding your posture – imagine there's a string in your head, pulling you up – use your arms and hips to change the centre of rotation in your body. As your hips rotate one way, your shoulders should angle slightly the other way for balance.
4. Shorten your stride. It's easy to spot someone unaccustomed to heels by her klumping, bouncing footfall and hunched back.
5. Loosen up. It's all in the hips. If they're too stiff, your gait will be off and you'll end up off-balance.
6. Start with shorter heels and wear them around the house, especially if they're new. Walking over a variety of surfaces like carpet and tile will help too.
7. Carry bandages in your purse at all times.

Anyway ... done properly, that power of the high heel will translate into wobbly knees later on – and that has nothing to do with the actual heel!

So, time to trade in the sensible sneakers for a little glam ... I can't wait!

Andee     xoxo 

Website | I'm Not Ashley Madison

Well, I’m supposed to be researching the latest data on drug interactions … but since there’s no one else in our library right now, I’m taking advantage of the privacy to check in on my latest obsession!

Anyway …

It was kind of an interesting conversation last night. One of the gentleman I chat with every now and then professed to know everything there was to know about men, and offered to answer any question posed… seemed easy enough, and as you know, I am always up for a lively debate and a good challenge when it comes to me and guys.

I asked this friend, why do men seem to think - despite me being happily married and clearly indicating that in just about every part of my website (including the wedding ring in the photos) - that my website is a dating site? His response, while wise and intriguing, left me without a really deep sense of knowing. My friend explained that regardless of a woman’s marital status, men were in constant pursuit of sex. Marriage simply meant an opportunity to obtain sex without commitment. Now, don’t take my paraphrasing as an insult, because I did not take his answer that way.

A membership was an invitation to sex. A photo was an invitation to sex. Pleasant chat about the weather or nuclear physics was an invitation to sex.

So there I sat, pondering the answer … amused and thoroughly intrigued further about this revelation from a member of the male species.

I needed to know more, so I cornered the testosterone within my own household … under the guise of something more enticing than simply "How's your day honey?" and extracted an answer. Of course, knowing full well that there are certain ways to make a man tell the total truth - even where Grandma hid her money if need be - I employed nothing but the best of strategies. (Sometimes the ‘oral’ part of interrogation doesn’t involve sentences)

The answer, he told me in sheer erectional confession, can be found quite readily in a routine by a famous southern comedian - Jeff Foxworthy. That’s right, folks … hard to believe, but not so hard to believe.

Apparently, and open for debate, men have two things on their mind at anyone time:

"I want a beer, and I want to see something nekkid …"

So, the secret may be out … as to me, dating invitations aside, tonight I’m going to learn where Grandma hid her money!

Have an awesome day ... Catch up with me on Twitter if you like.

Andee     xoxo

The Word To Bring Down A Man

I’m starting to think that the Cosmo girls are bitter bitches with way too much of a wannabe Carrie Bradshaw complex. It seems that for every little wrong that some famous, or now infamous, guy does they are there ready to burn him, and the whole act of what he did, at the stake.

Take, for example, this political Weiner dog in the United States. I don’t condone his actions, but mostly for reasons that may not sit well with the Cosmo girls.

I don’t like what he did because he hid these things from his wife.

That isn’t to say I condone his actions. Given his public profession, it wasn’t very smart of him to take photos of his manhood and then send them out to some online friend. Goodness, did none of these guys learn anything from Bill Clinton? Now then, the twist in all of this is that his lack of communication and connection with his (pregnant) wife underscores deeper issues in the relationship. When you begin to hide these kind of sexual secrets from your spouse, you go down a very precarious path.

I’ve been known on occasion or two to challenge societal mores by engaging in naughty chats, e-mails and such … heck, I have over 20,000 naughty photos online. I do that because of the thrill, excitement and ego-boost that it brings to me and the spice to my marriage. But I am not saying that married guys should be sending photos of their junk to every online floozy that logs in, just that the actions that lead men and women into these situations are a little more complicated than a Cosmo column.

I don’t like what he did because he fell for the ‘trap’ of a younger woman.

The people at Cosmo also added a great little piece on “The Word That Make Him Cheat.” Hmm, so if I say this word I can get guys running every which way? Somehow I doubt that guys are that fickle. But then, I have been surprised by some of you before.

Apparently the big Weiner fell for that most-potent word: “Hot!” Not as in: “Gee, it was hot outside today.” No, he fell right into the trap when some young thing stroked his Facebook with the “H” word referring to a speech he had recently given.

So dangerous is this word that it apparently is the same one that brought down John Edwards.

According to the expert cited by the bitter bitches, men crave to have their insecure bedroom ego stroked more than playful poodle begging for a belly rub. In surveys, apparently you guys have said that you want to hear the same things that really “H” women do on a regular basis. Another source explained a more logical reason for these examples - both of these men are extremely narcissistic and rocking the panties off some college girl from Texas fuelled that ego.

By the way, I think it’s HOT when you buy a membership to my website …

Fortunately in Canada we are able to prevent political downfall because the only time the “H” word should be used with our oft-unattractive politicians is when someone calls for more logs to be thrown on the fire because the flames around the stake are not “H” enough.

Oh, don’t judge me … have you seen the men on our money?

I don’t like what he did because he cried about it when he got caught – and did not come across as even close to sincere.

I’m actually not one to follow politics, or even political scandals. But when I see a guy in front of the cameras bubbling like a 6-year-old in the park I am more likely to wonder who the heck pulled one of his nose hairs out. I don’t buy it…if you’re man enough to IM photos of your Oscar Meyer, then you better be man enough to get grilled. (Don’t you love my hot dog analogy!)

Real Men

But what really stirred my ranting was how Cosmo turns this – and previous examples – into story and advice column drivel bashing all guys. They set their readers up with ideas on how we, as obviously weak-minded women, should never let our guard down around men. Never trust a single one. Yet, never mind that for every one of these Weiners there are hundreds of great guys out there; guys who know how to have fun with their spouse and live life without hang-ups and hidden agendas.

Ok, maybe each relationship has a secret or two, but as humans it’s our nature to hold some potentially embarrassing things – things we think we may be judged on – close to our chest. Heck, the whole game of poker is built on that very idea (and you will want to stop by for my Sexy Sunday this week where I share some poker fantasies). But it reminds me of how we need to work harder at opening the doors of communication between each other in a relationship than we do at opening naughty e-mails from coeds.

And it’s easy for me to say that because my website has pretty much killed any chance of me finding success in politics. Thank goodness because I was struggling with whether or not I should be Prime Minister or amateur porn star.

Judging from the naughty e-mails I get, I think I made the right choice.

Oh, and for the record … rarely watched the show, and Carrie Bradshaw is a fictional character.

Andee     xoxo

Flirting | We Make Mistakes Too

I was chatting with one of my friends about the Mistakes Men Make blog and he suggested that if I was going to keep things fair that I should look at something about women’s mistakes and dating. Because apparently - and I have to to see the research - women are not perfect.

Well, I am definitely no dating expert. I've found that being married has really put a damper on my dating life, but I did find this article in a trashy women’s magazine about the mistakes we make when flirting.

Even so, while I am happily married, I am an admitted "shameless flirt" as you know. Now I just need to figure out which of these mistakes I make ... 

Talking about yourself
We understand the feeling that if we talk about ourselves, he’ll see how interesting we are and how confident we are in ourselves. However, while talking is great, don’t appear too self-centered or boasting. Ask some questions about him, and be sure he can get a word in, too.
(Nah, that’s what my blog is for…and I share more than a lot on here!)

Letting him do all the talking
You want to play the woman with the great ear, but don’t fawn over him and his words. Be active in the conversation; share your thoughts and talk about yourself too, as he surely wants to know as much about you as you do of him.
(I can be kind of the shy one at first. I know, hard to believe. So I am guilty of letting the guy do a healthy dose of the initial flirtations…and after a drink or six, I really loosen up. Which generally leads to trouble!)

Being too obvious
There’s something called subtlety; use it. Don’t manically touch your hair every time he touches his, for example, and don’t lean over too much for him to get a good look at “the girls.” A light touch here, and a dazzling smile there are all you need to get him hook, line, and sinker.
(Hmm…not sure where my thoughts are on this. I, for one, employ the “lean in” strategy - as I blogged about yesterday - as a method of flirting. Sometimes “the girls” are a key part of that. But then again, maybe that’s a touch of age…you know, not really all that concerned anymore so if he enjoys seeing “the girls“ why not?)

Acting fake
There’s the forced plastered the smile, the excessive laughing at all his jokes (even the lame ones)… need we go on? Make sure you are genuine and remain true to yourself, and he will be taken. Also, if you feel a need to put on a fake smile when talking to a guy, that’s not exactly a good sign.
(I think I might be saving this one for when I get my fake boobs!)

Sticking to your group
A lot of times, women gather strength by heading off to a bar or club with friends, and that is more than okay. However, you do need to break away from the group once in a while. A guy may be afraid to swoop in when you’re with your friends, so be sure to circulate the room on your own every once in a while, or even frequent your favourite hangout by yourself sometime.
(Sometimes a group can be a lot of fun…if everyone is naked. But, I do admit that once I am feeling good and loosened up a bit, I tend to break out of this and mingle.)

Ignoring him
We’ve been doing it since we were in high school: pretend you don’t like him, and he’ll be putty in your hands. But if you don’t look at him, hardly acknowledge him, then how do you expect to be on his radar? Make sure you grab his attention, even by doing something as small as catching his eyes, smiling lightly, and turning away.
(Don't think this is a problem for me ... I'm usually too horny to ignore the cute ones!)

Flirting with other men in front of him
You may feel that by flirting with the many men in the room, the one you’re actually interested in will see how irresistible you are. Wrong! In actual fact, this will make you unapproachable, as it will make him think that you are interested in everyone but him.
(So, for me this is an odd and tough one. My husband enjoys that flirtatious element in me…but then again, we have been together for over 20 years now and have reached that stage in our relationship where his twisted perversions can come out - ie, the summer flirting contest)

Drinking excessively
When at a bar and chatting it up with a guy, some of us may believe that a little “liquid courage” will go a long way. Don’t underestimate the power of alcohol and the effect it may have on your behaviour. You need to be aware of your words and actions, so don’t consume too much booze.
(Ok, I have been known to do this on rare occasions…and trust me, it always leads to trouble!)

So it seems I may be guilty of a few of these things…but then flirting is meant to be a game and guys aren’t really supposed to know the rules we play by. Mistakes? Probably that we change the rules to suit our mood and situation.

Andee     xoxo

 

Flirting | Andee's Top Secret Strategy

Hey guys! The summer is officially upon us now, which is more good news for you guys because one of the fun little things I am adding to keep everything all interesting is my Topless Tuesdays photo series on my main page. Each week for the 13 weeks of summer, you will get a little peek at some of my personal selections of me letting it all out on top - well that and because where I live it is legal for women to go topless.

Of course, in my own style, I won’t be giving it all away. You didn’t really expect all that and more did you? If you like what Miniskirt Mondays and Topless Tuesdays bring to your daily diversions, make sure you slip on over to my website for all the really hot and naughty stuff.

Enough sales-pitching for today … on with the dirty mind and stuff.

As you know I have been embroiled in a little flirting contest that was put forth by my twisted hubby. And with summer comes the time to really get ready for the flirting season - when there's a lot of opportunity to get out from underneath all those bulky winter clothes, expose a lot more flesh and let those hemlines go up a higher ... of course, all with some semblance of decency when it comes to the work day.

As I have chatted with a couple of you, it seems you have been intrigued enough to want to know more ... so by requested, here is one of my own personal secrets for flirting. Honestly, this is not one that I borrowed from a cheesy women's magazine, but a tried and true method ... something I picked up along the way ...

The Lean In
When I'm in a public place - like a club or bar, something like that - instead of just trying to talk louder, I like to lean in towards a guy’s ear and talk a bit lower than shouting over music. This has two really hot angles - the upclose eye contact, and the physical contact. Being a towering 5'1", it gives me great opportunity to put a hand on the guy's arm and pull him down to my level. And then after I've said what I need to say, as you pull away, the deep look into his eyes. A couple times of doing this and next thing you know, he's picked up on and doing it back! Voila!

And, when the heat needs to reach record temperatures, this technique is even more killer when I am wearing the kind of top that might provide a guy with a little extra treat. Which means that, yes, there is a bra strategy as much as there is a panty strategy.

So there you go … just one of the techniques I use in my flirtations.

Andee      xoxo

Thongs | A Different Panty Strategy

And here we are, another week! Don’t forget to check out my latest entry for Miniskirt Mondays. This week my photo is a few years older, but I think you’ll enjoy it. I know some of you are anxiously awaiting the launch of my newest summertime blog fun - Topless Tuesdays. I already have some pics selected and I think you will be deliciously teased and satisfied with them.

Now that summer is almost here, one of the things I talked about before becomes even more important - my panty strategy. With shorter skirts and sexy shorts now in fashion for the warm weather, making sure I am wearing something … appropriate … is a conscious choice. Plus I am one of those women that likes to make sure everything matches. Nothing worse than mismatched knickers! LOL

As I was discussing this last night with my hubby, he mentioned that more than a few of you guys have messaged before about my not-so-frequently seen thongs.

I think I have told you before that I am not much of a thong girl. From a personal perspective, I find them too distracting. I know if I had to go all day with one of those wedged between my butt cheeks, I would not be concentrating on my job properly. So, from a day-to-day thing, I just don’t have the patience it takes to get used to that constant sense of a split personality.

I do wear them on occasion for my photo updates … but in the end, that is more for you guys to enjoy than me really “wearing” them as underwear.

Now, having said that, I am not that close-minded to throwing a sexy little pair on for the right event. If I know they are likely to be coming off any time soon, I don’t mind. In fact, some of my most fun and erotic teasing moments have come from those times when I have dressed up in some sexy little dress and halfway through the night slipped the thong into my partner’s pocket.

The first time I wore a thong was not long after my husband and I started down the path of this sexual adventure. This goes back to the first time we visited a lifestyle club. You’ve seen the sexy blue mini dress I got for the occasion, and I found a tiny little thong to wear underneath … not sure just yet if I was ready to leap into that scene with a commando approach. And that was one of those moments when it came off before the night was through …

Not that long ago I did discover the “hybrid” Brazilian tanga … you know, the underwear that is part thong, but has a bit more frill and lace as opposed to the standard T-bar. I have a couple different pairs of those and I love the sexiness of slipped a pair on under a little mini. That way, if anyone was to steal a little up skirt peek, they would still see a cute little flash of lingerie and lace … call me a romantic!

Andee     xoxo

Miniskirts | Too Old For Short Hems

Hey guys! Up here it's a holiday Monday, so I finally get a chance to enjoy an extra day off. Sadly, it's a typical day here too, thanks to Mother Nature dishing out a constant flow of rain.

But it's still Miniskirt Monday on my blog! This time, I'm going back to a work conference in Montreal for the photo ... and a little over exposure as you can see. I have no idea if anyone in the office tower across the way could see into my room as I did a midday photo shoot, but I like to imagine that maybe someone may have noticed!

I read this article over the weekend about a British survey where the women polled said that age 35 is the appropriate age for women to stop wearing miniskirts. Puh-leese ...

Does anyone else see this as just another point of how we allow "societal mores" to tell us what is right?

Now, I do agree that there does come a time when, as individuals, we need to police our fashion choices. Look at the '80s. But, if you have the ability to pull it off with confidence, then why do would we need benchmarks to say, "sorry, you're too old?" A great pair of legs is a great pair of legs - whether they are 20 or 50 ... and heck, if grandma's got it going on, why not 60?

Besides, a great pair of legs under a short hemline is good for the economy:

American Economist George Taylor first coined the term "hemline theory" in the 1920s, to illustrate the relationship between hemlines and stock market performance. This latest "corporate twist" on that is, throughout history, there has been a correlation between skirt lengths and the strength of the economy. Hemlines rose in the Roaring 20s with the rising stock prices. The 1930s market crash fashion featured long skirts. And miniskirts flooded the runways during the economic boom in the 80s. History suggests that as skirt lengths rise, so does the stock market ... among other things.!

Oh, and guys who love high heels on a woman ... according to the same survey, 51 is when we need to swap out the stilettos for Naturalizers and stretchy slacks. If I have a body at 51 that I can rock, you can be assured that I will not turn into the Mall Matriarchs and start going to bridge club in my sensible shoes ... hell, no!

I see this kind of attitude as more indication that too much in our world is designed to strip away our confidence by forcing us into these pre-determined roles. Women struggle enough with self-image, we don't need surveys and more societal pressures pushing into our lives.

Andee     xoxo

Flirting | More Friday Fun

Good morning! As you may have been following along, last week my husband issued a bit of a challenge to me after I did a new photo shoot in some stockings that an online friend had sent to me. So I spent last the work day doing something that I do not normally do ... in fact, had never done.

In the end, not sure a big deal, really. But for me a very exciting way to share a few moments will you guys.

Following this up, a few other crazy things have taken place at home because of it ... and you will read more about that later. It's one of those blogs that takes me a bit to write because I have to keep stopping to ... um ... collect my thoughts.

Last night, as I was sitting on my train for another uneventful trip home, that delusional guy of mine apparently had a bit too much time on his hands too. I made the mistake the informing him that my shift rotation had changed for today, giving him that window of opportunity.

And so here we are today ...

Different game ... a bit of a change in the rules:

Three days off = three guys between now and by the time to first glass of wine gets poured tonight need to say something sexual. Doesn't seem to be that difficult right? Except I have to encourage them to say something sexual specifically about me, to my face. And that means playing the flirting game at a new level ...

Not so easy ...

And a little disturbed if I must say.

Andee     xoxo

Relationships | Where Men Go Wrong

I stopped by a friend’s yesterday to pick up a naughty little gift she had waiting for me. The gift was sent from my online friend Matt, whom those of you who enjoyed my stockings and garter-belts antics last week can thank, as he was primarily responsible for them. He has sent a few sexy things my way for my website - and personal pleasure! I was just thinking, and he has been responsible for dozens of delicious orgasms and hours of bedroom fun since last fall.

This time he has sent along a really cool pair of knee high boots. I will have some pics for you guys in a few days.

Anyway, as my friend and I were chatting over a nice cup of tea, the topic turned to what I had been blogging about yesterday, and the idea of looking at other people counting as “cheating” in some people’s minds. She knows all too well about my secret hobby, and shares many of the same thoughts as I do on the subject of sexuality, adventure, experimenting and getting past what other people think, etc.

But, like a couple of tired Moms after a long day at work are liable to do over a cup of tea, we got pretty philosophical with the idea, our own experiences with relationships and the men we know. The subject has been out there in the media the past couple days, but basically we were really into the thought of  “What do you think is the biggest mistake that men tend to make in relationships?”

And it wasn’t so much about the cheating, as you might think … although I will have a blog very soon on that very subject, following a conversation I had with one of my Office Guys recently (cue the foreboding background music). And no, it was not about Arnold …

No Stereotypes Please

One of the things that I think is a big mistake in a relationship - whether they do it consciously or not - is some men tend to put restrictions on their spouse/significant other. In saying that, men will say "I'm not jealous" but little comments will come out, and we are aware and it affects how we will act. Most women are afraid to put on the sexy lingerie because they are well aware they will never look like the stereotypical stripper they overheard their spouses discussing with their buddies (although I would suggest to women to go and see these strippers for themselves. You would be shocked at how painfully normal most of them are).

And I'm not saying "restrictions" but some guys have a way of revealing their expectations. When you are around your friends and talk about another woman and how she looks and her "assets", it makes us feel a little substandard because we know we can't live up to that expectation in our own relationship. It's even worse when you do that and we're around - if you can’t say the same about us.

Let me clarify: I don't have any problem talking about other women with my husband, because we both like to look. But he's also pretty good when it comes to me and my girlfriends talking about other men. Neither of us go "hey honey, wouldn't you like to have his/her (fill in your own blank)."

If he points out an attractive woman and says to me "She's got a great set of legs" or something like that, I'm likely to look and agree or offer my opinion. But if I say, "He's got a nice ass" he doesn't turn and say "what the @#$% you looking for" he says "so what makes a nice ass on a guy?"

Granted, my hubby tends to be a bit more on the open-minded end of things than many of the other men I happen to know.

But there is never any “You could look like that if …”

The reality is we all look. Like my blogger friend H from Hands In My Pants commented yesterday as I blogged about checking out other people, the advertising industry is pretty much built on the idea of sex sells. It may be a fine line, but recognizing that we, as humans, have broader sexual and subconscious desires can be healthy for the relationship. But it also needs to tie back to what I was saying before about making your partner feel like they are the most important person on the planet.

And I know this is the same for women. It's not very fair of us to sit and "ooo" and "aahh" over the guy with the six-pack abs (or that Cute Guy on the train) when we know that the average guy can't spend all day working out and two hours posing for a cover of a magazine. We're all busy people with real lives, and bad eating habits.

So I guess, in my humble opinion, the biggest mistake is drawing comparisons - for both sexes. We must accept each other for what we are. Focus on the positive, not the negative...and do yoga...and eat yogurt :) I would also wish for world peace. Okay...I'm going to go put my sash and tiara away. Have a great Hump Day everyone!!

Andee     xoxo
 

People Watching | It's A Fine Art

Well, here we are in the midst of another week closer to summer! I don’t know about you, but I love seeing how everyone is ditching the winter clothing and starting to dress a little more skimpy. And yes, that applies to guys too. I love this new-look, sleek, form-fitting business dress fashion a lot of the guys are wearing today.

As a shameless people-watcher, this time of year is one of my favourites because it means we emerge from hibernation and ditch the parkas. Then you go the store to buy a new swimsuit for summer vacation and realize the parka was a better choice!

The timing of all this is kind of funny: I was listening to the radio on my way to the train station this morning and the hosts were talking about “cheating.” Ok, one of those Scooby-Doo moments when you cck your ears and go “arroo?”

But what they were really talking about was how the one male host got busted by his wife for looking at another woman in the grocery store. The discussion revolved around whether or not this counted as “cheating.” Of course, I was almost yelling at the radio - because they were suggesting that this is something that, once you are married or in a serious relationship, should stop.

No way!

It made me want to call in an tell them about my little summer flirting contest, last week's office adventure, human sexuality … all of it!

I realize that I may be at a point in this spiralling sexually-charged moment in my life where rational thinking has been replaced with risk and I may not be a credible candidate for what many believe to be typical marital living … regardless, looking at another person is certainly not “cheating.”

There was an article published in one of those trashy magazines talking about how modern humans are basically fighting against how nature has us wired. We are among the few living creatures that have sex for pleasure - and at the same time, there is growing debate as to whether or not our species is truly meant for monogamy. Don’t misread what I am saying - I’m perfectly happy in a monogamous relationship. But, that said, I also know that just because of it that I am no longer allowed to notice other members of my same species.

Can you tell the science geek is coming out …

Sexual Competition
Anyway, from a more personal perspective, I believe we need to keep a relationship sexually charged, and the element of competition is what keeps (some) relationships alive. There is an important part of our libido that relies on knowing we have a sexual attraction to other people. In our genetic make-up, our relationships rely on not reaching a level of complacency … but each of us needs to find that fine line on our own.

My husband and I have discussed this very thing on quite a few occasions. I’d be lying if I didn’t say I’ve had many moments in my relationship when I wonder why he thinks the way he does - seriously, who comes up with some of these schemes: flirting contests, flashing garter-belts to other men, blogging endlessly about my sexual thoughts, all that stuff. But when those moments happen, the excitement, the eroticisim … how my heart beats so hard and fast I think you could see it through my shirt … all of it reminds me that I am alive and living, not just merely existing and taking up space.

The point we need to understand is the motivation for why we look at other people in a sexual interest way … and then explore if these actions create a sense of jealousy in our partners. Intrigue is healthy, control is not - and that is where jealousy leads, to controlling.

I’m also not naïve to think that these days I am all that and more. We all have flaws, and I know mine quite well.

I blogged before about how I struggled with the after-fact of cutting my hair short - which led to some of this year’s naughty moments - because I felt I wasn’t noticed as much. Yes, that is vanity talking, but vanity is also a very important emotion in our society. It’s just to what level do you take it? Some do go overboard (Paris Hilton) but when it is managed correctly, it is what keeps our mood positive, our life happy and our sex dirty.

Andee     xoxo

Sex | A Sympathetic Lay

Have you ever been in a situation where you have agreed to something just for the sake of either keeping the peace or making someone else really happy?

I got this question quite a long time ago - when I had a different blog - and the first time I posted this, it made me laugh. It's still something that I have to admit made me laugh out load when I re-read it. The guy who had sent was a long-time chatroom friend and we had a bunch of fun when that was were I spent most of my online life … and so, I’m not sure if the answer has changed much, but I won’t say it couldn’t.

Have you ever thrown someone a sympathy lay? And if so, how can I get one?

No, I've never thrown anyone a sympathy lay, but I sure could use one every now and then myself.

I know I'll get a few volunteers out of that but the truth is my sex life has been pretty limited in terms of the number of partners I've had. By the time I went away to college, I was already engaged to be married … and I've never considered any of the sex I've had with my husband as sympathy. Although, I could say the guy I lost my virginity to was close to needing a sympathy lay...and no, I'm not bitter :-)

Having said all that, the past 10 years has been a wild and exciting ride for me. Does that mean my outlook on sympathy sex has changed? I can’t say it has - but I definitely think my perspective on the number of partners is evolving!

Random Thoughts

And while we are on the subject of sex … can you suggest a better topic? Tomorrow marks 17 years of marriage for me. I know I have dished an awful lot about what goes on in our bedroom and lifestyle, but today I just wanted to touch on a little reason as to why.

I grew up with a very traditional, straight-forward environment. I still think there are some days when I am really naïve about a lot things. My hubby still giggles about the time, when I was working a different job before getting  into my career, a guy asked me if I was up for lunch sometime. I just assumed he meant on a friendly basis … which he did, only his friendly meant with benefits. I was mortified … and slightly embarrassed … when my husband enlightened me on how married guys generally don’t ask out married women on lunch dates.

But silly moments like that are what have brought me to things like considering offering up sympathy lays, dressing up like a slutty schoolgirl for a theme at nightclub, or having our cute 15-year-old female babysitter comment on how short my skirt is for "just dinner" …

If there is one thing that you guys (and girls) can take from this nonsense of mine is that for 17 years we have found the ability to laugh at ourselves … and each other in non-hurtful ways. If you ask me, the secret to a good marriage is lots of laughs. But just be careful about when you laugh during sex … timing is crucial, if not sympathetic!

Have fun this weekend, I know I will in the boots you guys have chosen for me in my little anniversary poll. I promise to post some pics, and join me for my Sexy Sunday update. Who knows, I may have a new adventure to tell you all about!

Andee     xoxo

A Dare | New Garter Belt & Stockings

I got up this morning with good intentions of posting a somewhat thoughtful blog. I had this plan, some images picked and my morning coffee finished off. Then my other half hit … like a devious whirling dervish. It seems he has far too much time on his hands to come up with little ‘dares’ for me.

Sexy Fredericks Of Hollywood Stockings

OK, a bit of back-story to all this.

When I first started the whole online photo experience, it came as a bit of a ‘dare.’ I may have mentioned that in a previous blog, but basically it boiled down to posting some sexy, mostly nude shots of me on a free voyeur-type website. The ‘dare’ was if those first few tame images received some positive comments, then I would agree to post some more risqué ones.

Well, I think you know how that turned out …

So anyway, the other day we had the chance to shoot a new photo update for my website. In the session I was wearing a sexy little garter belt and pair of stockings that my online friend had sent to me. He has sent me a few different gifts, ranging from some great lingerie to this delicious BBC dildo that has fast become a bedroom favourite. These are really sexy … and I commented to my horny photographer how much I loved the stockings. It’s hard to find some that don’t feel like sausage casings if you are bigger than the Size minus-2 stick-figure models used in the catalogue.

As we shot the pics, it’s obvious (now) that my husband’s typical male brain kicked into orgasmic high gear … and I awoke today to a new ‘dare.’ The catch is, in this sexual adventure of ours, that we have agreed on certain things we want to try, certain things we must try, certain things that send the mind into overdrive when we’re having dirty sex, certain things that aren’t realistic – you get the idea. But, since it was a dare that got us here, the one thing we agreed on was when a proper dare was issued it had to be followed. And, while it sounded fun at the time way back when, it turns out I didn’t think it through properly.

So here I sit this morning, thinking this is kind of like that scene in A Christmas Story when Ralphie’s friend sticks his tongue to a frozen flag pole. My husband skipped the double-dog dare – a breach of dare etiquette – and went straight to “the coup de grace of all dares, the sinister triple-dog-dare.”

Not Many Firsts

I can tell you that there are not many “firsts” left in life. Most of those that have not yet happened are perfectly fine not happening, if you ask me. There’s a difference between ‘dares’ and ‘danger.’ No danger today, unless you count the risk of absolute embarrassment in front of my coworkers and a lasting reputation to eclipse the comfort zone of “shameless flirt” that I already occupy.

For the first time in my life … with the exception of my wedding day, when sexy lingerie is pretty much accepted if not required … I am wearing a garter belt and stockings for something other than a photo shoot and sex. And while I know that this may not be so outrageously uncommon, there is a catch in my case: someone during my day – a man – must find out that I am wearing them, either by stolen glimpse or blatant flash. I have until my evening train arrives back at the station and I head for home. I can’t show a girlfriend in the locker room … the gay nurse doesn’t count … nope, some hardened hetrosexual man must see all the way to the top of my stocking, to where the garter is attached.

Good fricken’ lord …

Of course, while there are probably hundreds of women that do this daily (maybe not the revealing part), for someone who lives two distinct lives it becomes a closer meshing of the two. The idea of bringing this kind of lingerie into my daily life is about the psychological thrill ... stepping out of my comfort zone of lab clothes and running shoes, even in such a small way, adds an element of thrill and fun.

Maybe some like the thrill of a roller coaster, and others the thrill of a scary movie ... but anytime you can engage the imagination in whatever way works for you is a good thing.

If you want to keep track of my little antics today, I’ll be posting a running commentary on my Twitter account, as per the rules of the dare.

Wish me luck …

Andee     xoxo

Adventure | Where Do You Begin?

I sure hope you guys enjoyed my first entry in my Sexy Sundays series. As promised, I will be bringing some more sexually oriented content to my blog for the summer months, to help heat things up even more. And as you know, summer is a great time to explore some new sexual territory – and we are closer to naked than any other season as we’re wearing less clothing!

A person I know quite well – and has a bit of knowledge about my ‘secret’ life – asked me how someone even begins in something like my adventure.

The easy answer would be that you have to live life. If you’ve read some of what I have put here in the past five months you would see that the biggest thing is to move past what others might think. In my own case, for those people who I have let in to my inner circle I have gotten a sense more of intrigue and slight jealousy over judgment.

The hard answer is that you have to be willing to accept that it all comes with a somewhat darker side. I’m not sure why society will look at someone who breaks laws such as drinking and driving as just a good person who made a bad decision. But the same people will look at a person like myself that enjoys a more sexually charged lifestyle as “deviant In pursuit of my adventure I can’t share openly; I can’t share my fantasies and website - none of which involve anyone getting hurt – but a couple glasses of wine on the weekend and “shouldn’t have driven home” gets me a knowing look of scorn and we all move on.

When you make the conscious choice to let go of the “standards” I blogged about last week, and move towards a more intimate level of exploration with a willing partner, you need to accept that - especially as a woman - anything you do can and will be held against you in the court of public opinion. You quickly learn that, while every man you know says he would love to see you in a short skirt and high heels, they will quickly turn away if you dare to wear them. You learn your female friends will compliment your bravery and comment how they wish their own husbands would be so interested, but they will spread gossip faster than a California forest fire.

Social & Sexual Inhibitions

We all know about the challenge of overcoming these social inhibitions. It’s no different from when we were teenagers and dealing with peer pressure. That same need to fit in, according to what the group at large determines are the requirements for fitting in, is still very much an important social need for us. We move forward with a lot of our actions, habits, likes and dislikes based on what works in order to be included. Sure we may refine our outlook a bit, and move towards people that already share more common interests – but at work, where we spend the majority of our waking days, diversity is bigger … like high school with a paycheque.

And when it comes to sex … well, it’s just a subject that has been hidden for so long that people in our daily lives just don’t know how to let go of their own repression in order to accept our adventures openly.

You see, some adventures will capture the headlines, while others are best left in the shadows.

The real trick is to find the happy medium … and for that I do not yet have an answer.

First Steps

But how do you – how did I – begin an adventure like this?

Lots of talking is required. Here at my blog and my other social media stuff and website, you may get the impression that my whole life is headed in this sort of Sodom and Gomorrah direction, when in truth these bits and pieces are the very condensed parts of my mind and imagination. I’m pretty sure you have no interest in reading about the rest of my life – like emptying the dishwasher, vacuuming, sitting for hours on end verifying formulas and label accuracies.

As our marriage evolved, for whatever lucky reason karma bestowed on us, we chose to be open with our thoughts and dreams. We talked and talked – and watched couples that didn’t talk so much break up.

Then after we talked, we found those fantasies that we shared and wanted to pursue together. No one was forced into trying something that wasn’t for them. We did challenge ourselves a bit, maybe edging each other towards the limits of our comfort zones – and I think that is where most of the adventure now lays ahead. To begin something like this, you take those small – although they may seem huge at the time – steps away from what you are used to. You push yourself out of routine and into something new … and then you build on it from there.

And then you tell yourself how lucky you are to have a soulmate that is also a playmate … and you return the favour for a step or two in their own adventure.

Andee     xoxo

Stick In Your Ear

Who has one of those in-the-ear Bluetooth headsets?

Here, where I live, using a cell phone while driving is now illegal unless you have one of those hands-free devices, so they seem to be a lot more popular. (Of course, I prefer my own type of hands-free device – but it’s not really meant for driving … a car … either!)

The problem with these things is that it is no longer easy to figure out who the crazy people are downtown.

This past weekend I saw a commercial that is being played on television for a new brand of beer ... how Canadian, eh? In the commercial this guy is getting his case of beer out of the cooler when a sexy woman comes up behind him. She is saying things out loud like: “What are doing tonight?” and “Want to go to a party with me?” The guy automatically thinks she is talking to him, and answers. Only then does she stop, give him the "ultra-bitch, how dare you talk to me you pathetic slug" glare and pull her hair back to reveal one of those Star Trekkie headsets.

I hate that commercial …

I have mentioned before that I am a technophobe, so it makes me kind of old school when it comes to a lot of these new gadgets in our life. Recently Men’s Health published a statistic that said 33 per cent of women find these Bluetooth devices “turn-offs.” I openly admit I fall right into that category.

So, while I know that the laws in the province state we can’t drive with a cell phone in hand anymore, why do guys insist on wearing these headsets on the train? Further, why do they insist on wearing them inside the workplace? I guess I don’t see just how important these guys must be that they need to have their hands free while sitting on the commuter train each morning … I mean, seriously, it’s not like you can have good phone sex while we’re all sitting there listening to you!

Hmm … maybe a bit judgmental today? Not feeling all that cerebral after getting my brains “you know what” out of me all weekend! And none of it with an electronic gadget stuffed in my ear either!

... I won’t bring up how the magazine also suggested that the easiest way to never get laid again is to match the headset with one of those fancy belt holsters!

Oh, and by the way … on the judgmental part … for all my Canadian hotties that stop by for a little distraction in your day, don’t forget that today is the day we all get to be judgmental of the federal politicians, so please go out and vote. I’d hate to have to give you one of those silly speeches like my father-in-law does about how many brave men and women fought and died so we could exercise our democratic privilege.

Oh wait … I guess I just did … oops. ;-)

Andee     xoxo

Bisexuality | My Answer To Marcos

My online friend Marcos had asked me about my blog a while back when I touched on the idea of losing my bi-curious virginity. Of course, it one of the subjects that I do like to discuss when given the chance ­­– mostly because it’s not something that I can bring up at work among my co-workers all that frequently.

It took quite a long time for everything to come to the point of having my bi-curious status change to practicing bisexual … although the practicing part has slowed down considerably of late.

I can’t say that it is this way for all women, but I always wondered in my own mind about other women. As a teenager I would notice some of my classmates, and one of my best friends was a lesbian – although she wasn’t “out of the closet” on that in our small town. But like most high schools, you heard rumours of what went on at certain parties with certain people and instead of being filled with the “drama” of the gossip I was more inclined to go “hmmm, too bad I missed it…”

The first time I really had the opportunity to come to terms with my feelings was when I was away at a work-related conference with a coworker. Not to rehash the story, you can catch up on your background reading in my entry Bisexuality | When It All Came Out.

I spent a couple years with those bi-curious feelings a lot closer to the surface because of what happened that weekend. My husband was very enthusiastic about the idea of me exploring more… for some strange reason … and we would often talk about taking things to the next level. This was when we started going to swinger clubs and dances, met some nice couples, etc., but nothing ever really launched to that next stage of exploration.

Taking The Leap
Then one night at a neighbour’s party I started chatting with the husband of one couple we knew. Drinks had been going down pretty easy all night and the conversation quickly moved to a very sexual nature, and continued pretty much for the rest of the night. A lot of things got shared, and before you know it, we had found some friends that shared some very similar desires and willingness to explore as my hubby and I.

So, now that we had pretty much established that all four of us shared the idea of exploring on an even bigger level, we made the necessary arrangements to solve our mutual horniness. To be honest, it did take a couple of tries to really figure everything out – much like dating on a normal level. The first time we got together, we ended up in the hot tub. It was here that I kissed her for the first time.

The next time we got together things progressed to a more interesting point. We moved our evening into their bedroom where everyone got naked and jumped into bed. There was an awful lot of foreplay, kissing between her and I, her husband and I, her and my husband. At one point, I was on my back and her husband was teasing my pussy with his fingers and tongue. Next thing I know, she is between my legs licking me. It felt absolutely marvelous. It was the first time another woman had licked me there, and my orgasm wasn’t all that long in cumming.

Not one to be selfish, we switched positions and I repaid the favour, sharing her pussy with my husband. It was the first time I had tasted another woman ­– and I was now totally hooked on it. My curious nature had been replaced with a burning lust and a little bit of experience.

The couple are still good friends, but we don’t see them much anymore, and after those first few experiences, my husband struggled a bit with the “chemistry” of it all. I was into her and all the fun it brought to the moment, but in those times when the guys would switch and I would find myself playing around with her husband, mine was just not feeling the mood. And that is an important thing – everyone has to have that chemistry for it to be exciting and erotic.

I can’t say the whole experience played out the way I imagined. The piece of advice I do offer to couples and friends we meet that I share my fantasies with, and invite into my lifestyle on a personal, real, level is that fantasy is often better than the reality. In the fantasy, you don’t think about the awkwardness of four adults on a queen-size bed, or if the guys are totally OK with another guy in the room with a throbbing erection. You forget that, after 20 years of monogamous sex, everyone has their own “style” of foreplay. You forget how alcohol can impair the sensation (and occasional judgment call).

But if you accept that these moments are less than Hollywood perfect, then the experience can be incredible and exciting like few others.

As you read in The Adventure Is Back On Track, I have also explored with another experience and can say I want to explore even more. But at the end of it all, the adventure will continue to take me where it will. I can’t over-plan for these things.

Hope that sheds a little more insight for you!

Andee xoxo

Naughty Thoughts From The Train

If you could be a fly on my bedroom wall some days I know you would fall to the floor in hysterics. Some of the crazy ideas that my twisted spouse seems to come up never cease to make me wonder.

I had mentioned to him a couple days ago about this woman I had seen, and how as someone who appreciates a sexy person, I was practically drooling. This woman had on a very short, yet totally office-friendly black miniskirt, funky high heels and had amazing legs.

OK, mostly I was toying with his libido by sharing, but then he challenged me again to use that thought to my advantage here. “Tell me what naughty thoughts go through your mind on one of those horny morning rides.”

So, being the good wife I am …

The Sexy Six

1. My Cute Guy
My Twitter followers know all about him. I think everyone has that person they see in the day to day life that makes them go hmmm. Right? Surely I’m not the only one who thinks like this.

2. The young guy in the suit with the really awesome ties
This might just win my official "cougar" badge, but my goodness he has style and I would love to grab him by that neckware and kiss him deeply … I wonder if he would let me bring one home? I could give it to my husband and secretly fantasize about my young commuter cub each time my hubby slipped it around his own neck.

3. There’s this cute girl who always wears miniskirts
I put this one in the “If I knew then what I know now” category. Each time I see this cute young thing I can’t help but feel those bisexual tendencies start to boil. I catch the guys looking at her all the time too, and I wonder if they noticed she was wearing that flirty little leopard print skirt today; and maybe like me, question if she knows that when she is standing on the platform as we pull into her stop that the light behind her sets my imagination on fire.

4. Rumour is the train has its own “mile high” society known as the “Corridor Club”
This is where my sense of adventure and risk really come together. I watch these people slip in and out of the washroom, some taking an exceptionally long time in there, and I wonder if they just had a big breakfast or are they horny like me? How exciting would it be to slip in there one day when I am wearing a skirt for some easy access, pull my panties down to my ankles and wait for you to slip into the washroom and into me. Would the motion of the train on the tracks be erotic enough, or would they prove to be frustrating as we try to find satisfaction before we pull into our final destination?

5. Is the washroom big enough
Reality is I have never ventured inside the train’s washroom … it scares me for doing the business side of life. But could we manage to position ourselves in such a way that we could go the distance? And some days I wonder if the people sitting closest to it would hear me if I slipped in there, took my somewhat realistic vibrating penis from my purse and made myself cum.

6. That blonde … uh huh
She is just too sexy for her own good; looking all hot and business-like every morning. Don’t think I didn’t notice the one time you got on in my train car with your hair a little less than it’s usual perfect style … and you made me think all the way to work if you were being naughty before the day started - and how you would taste on my lips.

Andee     xoxo

One Heel On The Highway

Have you ever been trying to explain something that caught your eye and have someone say that is an exceptional metaphor for your life?

I was telling my husband how I noticed this high heel shoe on the highway during my morning drive. No rhyme or reason as to why it was there, just this single high heel shoe on the paved shoulder. I started to wonder, “How does any self-respecting woman lose a high heel on the highway?”

Alright I admit, I have an active imagination … and all those naughty thoughts came to mind as well.

But my husband said it was a great analogy for me - one heel on the highway; meaning that my whole life is a bit like that, one foot in reality (the heel I didn’t see) and one heel on the path to wherever the road is going.

I kind of liked that idea.

I’ve been reading a lot lately about how to improve my blogs, how to write better, how to create something that has some value for you, my reader. I told you I started this whole thing as a way to share my thoughts and fantasies and random naughty thoughts. Originally it was a bit of a “project” between my husband and I to keep the imagination spinning, and sharing. Since those early days, as more of you tagged along, it has become my way of inviting you to share that hour-long train ride with me each morning; and hoping that what you find in my thoughts is something intriguing and amusing.

For me, this is part of that “one heel on the highway.” It’s part of that stepping into a whole new environment of sexual openness and behaviour.

And it made me think, does the same apply to you? Not that you may be into wearing women’s shoes - unless you are a woman - but have you put one foot on the path to adventure? Has any of my sharing helped you uncover new experiences ­– or even prompted you to be to so bold as communicate a new thought with your partner?

Left Turns & Danger Ahead

It can be a big risk to take that first step, not knowing the direction it may lead you or what may be waiting at the end. You have no idea once you put that first heel on the highway whether or not the road will be straight, filled with curves, left turns or even short and uneventful. It may be filled with pot holes and debris … or it may be freshly paved and smooth.

How many of you have passed by that one shoe and wondered how it got there? Is it one of those “open your eyes and look around” moments that allow us to get inside our imaginations?

And just like my husband’s metaphor – how many of you have put both heels on the path to adventure?

If you remember back a couple entries, you’ll make the connection with the idea of risk. Adventure requires some risk-taking, and for the part, a big dose of bravery. But it is also what opens the door to fantasies and experiences.

Step On The Highway

1. Adventure requires taking educated and calculated risks – meaning you have an idea as to what the outcome should be. Sometimes, especially when considering sexual adventures, you need to keep in mind that the fantasy outweighs the reality.

2. Adventure requires an open mind. Are you one of those people who embraces new ideas, rolls with the punches or goes with the flow (just to use as many clichés as I can)? Or are you the type that needs to be in control at all times? When you put that one heel on the highway, you will need to be ready to accept what comes your way. Sometimes it is disappointment, but most times the surprise is worth every fret and bead of sweat if you can let yourself go for the experience.

3. Accept the challenge. I know my limits, but I also know when the time comes to push them further and further. I’m not talking forgoing personal safety or the sanctity of my vows, but I am telling you that to really set out on an adventure in life, you must let go of a lot of what holds you back. Not long ago I marveled at how my oldest son could get up in front of a gymnasium of people and play his guitar and sing an original song – all at the tender age of 11. His guitar teacher simply said “Children don’t have the fear of what other people will think, they just go and try.” Wow … is that ever a lesson in reality. Are you ready to accept the challenge and not let others hold you back?

Maybe that high heel shoe on the highway isn’t as deep as I‘m making it out to be; maybe it is the result of frustration, misplacement or drunken nonsense. Maybe it is the result of something erotic like my imagination would like to believe. A big part of me hopes that shoe is not like one of those fabulous Louboutins as seen in my photo for this entry – that would be beyond sinful.

Nonetheless, that one high heel on the highway has given me a new way to describe my own adventure right now.

Andee     xoxo