April 29, 2011

Bisexuality | My Answer To Marcos

My online friend Marcos had asked me about my blog a while back when I touched on the idea of losing my bi-curious virginity. Of course, it one of the subjects that I do like to discuss when given the chance ­­– mostly because it’s not something that I can bring up at work among my co-workers all that frequently.

It took quite a long time for everything to come to the point of having my bi-curious status change to practicing bisexual … although the practicing part has slowed down considerably of late.

I can’t say that it is this way for all women, but I always wondered in my own mind about other women. As a teenager I would notice some of my classmates, and one of my best friends was a lesbian – although she wasn’t “out of the closet” on that in our small town. But like most high schools, you heard rumours of what went on at certain parties with certain people and instead of being filled with the “drama” of the gossip I was more inclined to go “hmmm, too bad I missed it…”

The first time I really had the opportunity to come to terms with my feelings was when I was away at a work-related conference with a coworker. Not to rehash the story, you can catch up on your background reading in my entry Bisexuality | When It All Came Out.

I spent a couple years with those bi-curious feelings a lot closer to the surface because of what happened that weekend. My husband was very enthusiastic about the idea of me exploring more… for some strange reason … and we would often talk about taking things to the next level. This was when we started going to swinger clubs and dances, met some nice couples, etc., but nothing ever really launched to that next stage of exploration.

Taking The Leap
Then one night at a neighbour’s party I started chatting with the husband of one couple we knew. Drinks had been going down pretty easy all night and the conversation quickly moved to a very sexual nature, and continued pretty much for the rest of the night. A lot of things got shared, and before you know it, we had found some friends that shared some very similar desires and willingness to explore as my hubby and I.

So, now that we had pretty much established that all four of us shared the idea of exploring on an even bigger level, we made the necessary arrangements to solve our mutual horniness. To be honest, it did take a couple of tries to really figure everything out – much like dating on a normal level. The first time we got together, we ended up in the hot tub. It was here that I kissed her for the first time.

The next time we got together things progressed to a more interesting point. We moved our evening into their bedroom where everyone got naked and jumped into bed. There was an awful lot of foreplay, kissing between her and I, her husband and I, her and my husband. At one point, I was on my back and her husband was teasing my pussy with his fingers and tongue. Next thing I know, she is between my legs licking me. It felt absolutely marvelous. It was the first time another woman had licked me there, and my orgasm wasn’t all that long in cumming.

Not one to be selfish, we switched positions and I repaid the favour, sharing her pussy with my husband. It was the first time I had tasted another woman ­– and I was now totally hooked on it. My curious nature had been replaced with a burning lust and a little bit of experience.

The couple are still good friends, but we don’t see them much anymore, and after those first few experiences, my husband struggled a bit with the “chemistry” of it all. I was into her and all the fun it brought to the moment, but in those times when the guys would switch and I would find myself playing around with her husband, mine was just not feeling the mood. And that is an important thing – everyone has to have that chemistry for it to be exciting and erotic.

I can’t say the whole experience played out the way I imagined. The piece of advice I do offer to couples and friends we meet that I share my fantasies with, and invite into my lifestyle on a personal, real, level is that fantasy is often better than the reality. In the fantasy, you don’t think about the awkwardness of four adults on a queen-size bed, or if the guys are totally OK with another guy in the room with a throbbing erection. You forget that, after 20 years of monogamous sex, everyone has their own “style” of foreplay. You forget how alcohol can impair the sensation (and occasional judgment call).

But if you accept that these moments are less than Hollywood perfect, then the experience can be incredible and exciting like few others.

As you read in The Adventure Is Back On Track, I have also explored with another experience and can say I want to explore even more. But at the end of it all, the adventure will continue to take me where it will. I can’t over-plan for these things.

Hope that sheds a little more insight for you!

Andee xoxo


H said...

I think all people are bi-sexual, it is just a matter of to what degree and how truthfull they are willing to be.

I think this a big reason why people "experiment" later in life, age brings confidence.

Great post

Andee said...

That's an intriguing perspective. I have met a number of people that suggest the same, and yet I also know others that are adamant that it is not "normal."

Confidence is definitely a key in pursuing those bi curiosities...and for me it is very much a case of "If I knew then what I know now ..."

Paul said...

I think a lot of it has something to do with hot tubs and hot women. They both seem to lead to dirty thoughts among the steam and bubbles