TMI Tuesday | Navigating Sex

As much as I might like to consider myself in the midst of a sexual adventure, sometimes it can be a very delicate balance between desire and disaster. But, regardless of what you might consider an "adventure," we have all found ourselves in those situations where feelings can be complicated and our sexual connections just not ... connecting.

Some interesting questions for this week's TMI Tuesday.

Answer yes or no:

• I regret my first kiss
• I miss my first love
• I married my first love
• I loved someone that didn’t love me

Hmm … don’t know if I would say any of these are extremely accurate, with the exception of marriage. I believe I have married my true love, but I also believe that we are capable of loving on many different levels.

My first kiss was pretty much what every young teen girl goes through, with a boy who just happened to be the boy of the moment. I've kissed quite a few since then, and a few girls along the way too!

I certainly don't miss my first "love" ... but wish I knew better at the time and would have been a bit more cautious about giving my heart away.

Do you consider yourself monogamous or polyamorous or some other category which you will explain or define for us now?
Mostly monogamous. We have dabbled in the swinger’s lifestyle and managed to explore sexually with other people – but we have never taken it beyond some hot, steamy moments and oral sex. Are these the opening doors of things still to come? I can’t say because, although my interest in continuing to explore is extremely high, it can be complicated when you are a finicky as me. However, we definitely don’t qualify for the polyamory category and can’t admit that we are active swingers. I suppose the category that would define us best is “sexual adventurers.” We love to explore, we love to test the limits, but at the same time we are wimpy and love the sense of security of being married and mostly monogamous.

Your partner is in the mood for sex and you are tired – what do you do?
   a) Start snoring. There is no way I’m giving it up tonight.
   b) Trade. You give me a massage…and we will see…
   c) That would never happen!
The only answer that really fits is c). But the truth is I am more for negotiations for a rain cheque. I might be tired tonight, but how about we set the alarm for a few minutes earlier in the morning?

Does your partner mind if you masturbate, in bed, while they are there?
I would say, about 50% of the time when I masturbate my husband is right there, watching and sometimes helping. I'm one of those women, as I have said a number of times, that needs a little help achieving orgasm. So, with that reality, our sex life tends to involve a fair bit of manual manipulation.

On the other side, I would love it if he would include me in more of watching him do the same, but that seems to be something he keeps to himself a great deal.

Describe your typical sexual romp:
   a) You are playful and tame
   b) You have occasionally introduced a few things like outfits and toys
   c) You love trying new things and shocking your partner
A bit of b) and a healthy dose of c). We’re beyond the “occasional” part of sex toys and naughty outfits – mostly due to the little naughty hobby we have on the side and the fact that I have a substantial collection of battery-operated marital aids, but I don’t think that our sex romps are always about trying new things. Having said that, I always love new things when sex is involved!

BONUS: What was your best ever masturbation experience? Why was it the best? Describe.
Wow, that is is tough one to answer. There's been some crazy moments for me, but I think one that stands out as one of the best is the first time that I masturbated on webcam. Masturbation tends to be a hugely private thing for me, but in the early days of my sexual adventure I was discovering a lot about the Internet and the kinkiness it can add to your evenings.

It was something that I found very exhilarating and liberating - as I had never done anything like that in front of anyone but my husband. I remember spending most of the evening teasing and tormenting with the guy I was chatting with, and watching him reveal himself to me. I was getting hornier as the night went on, and as my husband was working, it felt even naughtier.

Andee     xoxo

TMI Tuesday | Playing With Myself

So, today marks the start of another new 'journey' for me. I am now officially in my 40th year, which means I have an awful lot of ground to cover in the next 365 days so that I can hit my 40th birthday looking all that much more sexually confident, physically fit and smashingly glamourous.

And, that also means that I may actually have a bit of a renewed ambition when it comes to making certain desires, wants and fantasies come to life. Or at least writing all about them!

And now, on to all that information that you just can't get enough of every TMI Tuesday ...

1. My favorite place to masturbate is _____ ?
Yeah, not as kinky as you might believe, but my favourite place to masturbate is in my own bed. That way, when all is said an done and my heart is done racing from the sexual build-up and release, I love to curl up and fall asleep. Masturbating is an amazing way for me to relax before bedtime - and helps take my mind away from the stresses of the day.

2. Have you ever masturbated in public? What were the circumstances?
Not sure; my answer is a bit of a 'sort of.' I wrote about it before: it was a couple years ago and my husband and I were on our way home from one of those sex trade shows in the city. We were downtown and the traffic was crazy. I had already slipped off my panties back at the convention centre and figured since we were going to be sitting in the car for a bit that I would give my new sex toy a little test drive of it's own. I simply pulled up the hem of my skirt, positioned myself accordingly and let the brand new batteries take me to euphoria of a roadgasm - plus give my hubby and amazing tease and scene.

It was equally erotic as people were walking past on the sidewalks only a couple feet away from our vehicle. I remember that was one amazing orgasm ... the sensation of a new toy mixed with the excitement of being in a crowded space.

3. Do you like mutual masturbation? Why?
Yes and no, but for all really good reasons. I love it because there is something very erotic for me in watching and being there while someone is pleasuring themselves. And sharing that moment with someone has an erotic sense of vulnerability. It's opening yourself up to a very different sexual experience.

No, because it's rare that I can allow myself to wait it out. Mutual moments like that generally end up in full-out sex ... not that full-out sex is a bad thing; it just means an end to the masturbation portion of the evening. There are lots of occasions when masturbation becomes a conclusion for me, as well. I'm one of those women that does need a little extra help to reach orgasm.

4. When was the last time you masturbated?
I'm writing my answers on Monday night as we wait for the Leafs-Bruins hockey game to start ... I masturbated on Monday morning shortly after shooting some new photos for my website - 'cause a girl can get rather turned-on posing in new lingerie that a friend sent for her to wear; all that touching my breasts and playing with my pussy while my husband snaps photos. Yep, I think I might masturbate again tonight.

5. Have you ever masturbated on camera?
Yes ... for both recorded video and on webcam. I still make new recorded videos every now and then for purposes other than just adding a bit of kink to my sex life. I mean, why keep the fun all to myself, and since I have received a few requests along the way from guys who want to watch ...

6. Do you like to watch people masturbate?
Call me kinky, but I love watching another person pleasuring themselves. I have had the wonderful opportunity to watch a couple men do that in front of me in person - and good lord, it's a massive turn-on for me. I would love to have the same opportunity with another woman. I have watched on camera and amateur videos, but not while I was right there just a couple feet away as she brought herself to orgasm. Now that would be yummy ...

BONUS: Have you filmed yourself masturbating? Care to share that film via a link?
Take your pick ... follow the video button and you can find several different videos of me masturbating, and a couple in which someone else does all the work on me!

Andee     xoxo

Relationships | How Not To Get Laid

So there I was, wasting a little time at lunch instead of being social with co-workers that I’m not really interested in being social with, when I did the unthinkable yet again – I read some drivel from yet another wannabe Carrie Bradshaw, who still hasn’t figured out that she is just a fictional character crafted by a group of writers who probably never served as magazine columnists in New York. Strangely, this wannabe was male … not that there’s anything wrong with that.

The article this time was about “sexy” moves that your guy just doesn’t find sexy from a guy’s point of view. Now, this one wasn’t as full of rubbish as some of the others, but I still had to choke down my Cajun chicken to get through some of the advice.

Part of the article relies on the assumption that if you are actually dating right now, the guy you are dating must be a lazy idiot. No, not because he is dating you, but because he has absolutely no sexual creativity and must be spoon-fed sex because it is your responsibility to continually “please your man.” Except now, as a woman, you must learn to understand that he only wants it when he wants it – and that having to put any effort into the “tease” takes too much of his time away from important things, like picking his fantasy croquette team or something like that.

Shower sex … especially on weekday mornings.

"Unless you have a seat in there, a shower romp is never as fun as it sounds. Who gets to stand under the water? And she can't like it when she goes down on me and there's scalding hot water blasting her in the face."

If you can’t figure out how to position yourself in the shower so she’s not getting water in face when she is doing something to make you feel sexy and desirable, then I’ll make sure you have some extra conditioner in there because from now on the only lube you’ll be getting on your clean Johnson will be spread with your own hand while you jerk off to those stories your buddy from work tells you about the things his wife does to him.

Hint you're in the mood, then play hard to get and make him work at seducing you.

“Just what a guy wants when he gets home from work: more work. The chase is a game for those who've just met. When you're in a new relationship, you're so excited, you'll try anything. I once spent three weeks eating at vegan restaurants just because a girl was cute (and vegan). Of course, I'd grab a cheeseburger afterward. But still, that's working for it!”

You know what’s work? Trying to get the mustard stain off the crotch of your pants after you’ve eaten that cheeseburger, you slob. But fear not buddy, you can bemoan your lack of understanding of women while you drop a few more coins into the washing machine at the laundromat when you go with your other newly-single friend … and compare notes of which conditioner feels better to masturbate with in the shower.

Wear a top with a million little buttons and slowly undo them while he watches.

“Is it cool if I watch baseball till you finish? This sounds more goofy than sexy. Sure, most guys enjoy a striptease, but there's a reason strippers don't wear tops like that. Namely, there are few things less hot than unbuttoning a million buttons. Guys like it when you take off your clothes, but it's better if it doesn't take half an inning to get to the main event.”

Well, I bet you love those cheapass t-shirts from Walmart better because that’s the only place you’ll meet your next big thing. Oh, and the stripper thing? Yes, they don’t wear button down shirts like your wife or girlfriend … but unlike your brass pole fantasy we don’t make your dick ooze puss and burn when you pee. Yeah, that’s hot – in a not so delightful way. Hope she was worth the $20 bucks you stuffed in her g-string before you wagged your inch-worm out from your best pair of sweat pants.

Buy a super-pricey, super-vampy little lingerie number for his eyes only.

“The only time a guy notices lingerie is when it's hard to take off. Sexy lingerie is kind of a nonstarter. If it makes you feel sexy, great. Go for it. But if you're wearing it to turn a guy on, just know it doesn't do as much for us as you might think. If I already know what's under there, then what's the point?”

Which is why your Internet browsing history is full of links to pantyhose and stocking fetish sites, right? And why does that Victoria’s Secret catalogue come to the house in your name? Or maybe this year we can say no gift-wrapping for your Christmas presents?

It’s sad that men like this have grown up too lazy to know that unwrapping her is half the fun. But no, they would rather just fuck and be done with it so they could get back to the sports channel. And they wonder why their lives are miserable and empty. Come on, can’t women see how great a catch you really are?

But, I know this, the minute your wife or girlfriend starts wearing nothing but droopy old sweats and cheeseburger stained t-shirts is the minute you’ll bitch about how she doesn’t bother trying to improve her appearance and try to start looking kind of like that hot little intern in accounting who always shows a flash of her lace bra under her button down… oh wait … I forgot, you don’t like lingerie and buttons. You’re more into the Velcro look like that stripper was wearing the other night.
 

Grr…

There was a whole lot more I could have said about this absolute nonsense, but after scoffing for a few minutes, I realized that this poor sap of a writer probably goes home to an apartment still decorated with fond memories of college and not a hot and sexy woman waiting in nothing but a $300 band of ribbon from an upscale lingerie shop.

Thankfully both my own personal experience with men and many commenters on the article indicate that these kinds of ideas are far from the norm. In fact, the few men I do know who even closely talk along these lines are usually not the kind of men who I think get a lot of this kind of action anyway.

As for me, I’m OK with this ridiculousness … because for all the men with an attitude like this out there, I immediately feel so much more fortunate for having one in my life who will break every man rule in the book to get me into the “sexy.” But that said, I admit we don’t usually shower together in the morning; he is way too exhausted from: the chase, the seduction, the buttons and the lingerie.

Andee     xoxo

 

TMI Tuesday | Fill In The Blanks

I always enjoy sharing my thoughts with you, and even though I have been suffering from blogger's block lately, little questions like today's TMI Tuesday make it easier to get my mind into that sexual space where the best ideas tend to hang out.

This week, we are sharing our information "Fill in the blanks" style.

1. I’m the type of person that likes to be ENTERTAINED in bed.
I initially considered saying "sweaty," which is also something I like to be in bed ... but only during sex. Being entertained in bed can mean a number of different things. First off, from a sexual perspective, I love having sex that has a creative element to it, whether physical or mental - the sharing of naughty ideas and fantasies in the heat of passion. Secondly, and let's be honest, not everyone have sex every time they are in bed ... so, I like to be entertained by reading. Reading is one of my biggest passions, and my bed allows me the peace and privacy I need to let my imagination absorb the ideas on the pages.

2. If the sexiest person I know propositioned me for sex, I would WILLING AGREE.
I'm a sexual being ... I love sex, love exploring new sexual experiences and would dive right in to the opportunity. But, there would need to be some conditions. While I think my husband is the sexiest person I really know, that answer would bore you. You want to know about someone outside of my marriage, and that would be agreeable, and my husband would definitely want to be there to watch and perhaps hold the camera.

3. The worst part about BEING ALONE when I am naked is THE COST OF BATTERIES.
Um, this was tougher than I first thought; especially with the first blank required to make the sentence grammatically correct. Anyway, some fun for the answer, because when I am alone and feeling horny, I tend to lie back and enjoy my fantasies while my trusted little vibrator massages me into blissful orgasm. I dread to think how much I have spent on batteries over the years - I probably should have bought shares in the company.

4. I regret my first TIME.
Well, let's be honest, most of us do to a certain extent. I was inexperienced, far too young (in my mind) and really wished I had waited.

5. The last sexual/kinky thing I expected to like was ANAL SEX.

I have said several times before, had I not met my husband, I doubt I would have explored and discovered so many incredible things sexually. He has been a wonderful partner and encourager of my sexual adventure and always allowed me to experiment and dabble with a number of kinky ideas. I never would have imagined that anal sex would be something that I enjoy, but as it turned out, given the right state of mind, the right amount of lube and the right position - bazinga!

6. Recently, I FLASHED someone.
Well ... not THAT kind of flash ... but certainly a little "can you see I'm wearing stockings to work today as I let the hem of my dress inch up just a little bit under the table in the lunch room" kind of naughty tease. I know he saw, the expression on his face gave him away. Chalk another naughty office distraction victory up to yours truly. Other than that, I can't say I'm really much of a "get the girls out" kind of girl. I can count on one hand the number of times I have actually done that ... and none of them have been very recent.

BONUS: You have been kidnapped by lesbians and dragged into a lesbian orgy, what are you going to do?
Well, the expression is "when in Rome ..." so I would have to think when you find yourself immersed in the delightful sexual debauchery of a lesbian orgy, you must get yourself naked and plunge in head (and tongue) first.

Andee     xoxo

TMI Tuesday | Show Me Something Sexy

Are you ready for Santa? In just one week, the big guy in the red suit will be sliding down the chimney ... and damn, I hope that naughty list goes up in flames!

This week with TMI Tuesday, we look at just some of the more recent naughty events that may have put me on that other list. But let's be honest, even Santa can appreciate a naughty girl every now and then!

What is the sexiest thing you have done in the past two months?
It’s been a wildly busy two months for my husband and I, so incredible tales of wild, swinging weekends and sexual adventures best saved for graphic romance novels aren’t really at my disposal right now – unless you want to slip inside my overactive imagination. But, that said, sexy doesn’t always have to be something extreme and crazy. Sometimes sexy can simply be a moment spent completely invested in making someone feel special and loved. With that in mind, I would say the sexiest thing I have done in the past two months is invest a good part of a couple days drawn into some very steamy sexting with my husband, followed by some very sweaty sex at unusual hours for a married couple with busy lives and busy children.

Connecting on an emotional level like that, after spending the day wrapped up in a technology-aided sexual whirlwind, can be extremely sexy. If not equally important, in order to keep the flames of passion burning in a relationship.

What is the sexiest thing you have worn in the past 30 days?
Without a doubt, the sexiest thing I have worn in the past month is some incredible lingerie that a friend sent for me to wear. You can see from the attached image, a small peek at the outfit …

For me, the outfit is sexy on a number of levels: first, just the look. When I first saw this lingerie, during an online shopping spree with my friend, I said it was very sexy. It’s not over the top; it’s not “cheesy”. It has a classic look and mood to it. It’s the kind of lingerie that is meant to be worn, not just something for a “stockings and lace” swingers’ party. Along with that, it is the kind of lingerie that I can – and will – wear under a dress just like the one in the photo. Unlike some of the lingerie on my website, this can be practical in a very sexy and flirtatious manner offline!

Secondly, it is sexy because of the kinkiness behind it. This is lingerie that someone other than my husband bought for me to wear. For me, that adds to the excitement … and the desire to slip it on and behave in a very naughty way, even when the camera isn’t pointed at me. Knowing that someone else is enjoying the reality behind that ... uh huh, that is sexy to me.

What is the sexiest thing you have watched in the last 30 days?
Settling into one of my more kinky thoughts, the one thing that I find incredibly sexy is when I get to watch my husband stroke himself. I can’t explain just how much of a turn-on that is for me – to be able to just watch and enjoy. I guess because it allows me to see how he brings himself to an erection and his technique for pleasuring himself. To me, this is incredibly sexy – and made even more so because it’s a somewhat rare treat.

What is the sexiest thing you have heard in the last two weeks?
“Sweetie, I did the vacuuming.”

I dare you to find anything more orgasmic to a woman’s ears than hearing a verbal confirmation of actual housecleaning from their spouse. Talk about instant arousal.

The coup de grace was: “I also emptied the dishwasher.”

Damn, now I’m horny just reminiscing about it all.

What is the sexiest thing you’ve said in the last 24 hours?
Does reading the answers featured above count as “the last 24 hours”?

BONUS: Tell us or show us something sexy.

And there you go, some sexy naughtiness to get us in the mood for some serious seasonal fun!

Andee     xoxo

Masturbation | What Women Don't Get

I don’t think I’ve ever shied away from admitting that one of my favourite sexual pastimes is masturbation. For me, playing with myself is a brilliant stress reliever and a great way to revisit a fantasy within my imagination at the same time.

A while back, I got into a discussion with a male friend about the difference in how masturbation is perceived by men and women, and what those might be. He was wondering if there is anything women still don't get about masturbation. I assured him that I got masturbation quite effectively – and in fact planned to enjoy it later that evening – if I wasn't able to organize something a little more substantial. I always love those moments when you see the expression on their face as what I had just said sinks in and the mental image takes over.

Joking aside, what he was really wondering was if there was anything women don’t quite understand about male masturbation ...

I think many women in heterosexual relationships struggle with the notion that their partner will dabble in some self love believing the man no longer has any desire for intimacy. They experience a sense of rejection; fearing the concept of not being sexually appealing enough for their husbands, and struggle with the self-doubt that so many women have ... especially as they age and don't feel as attractive as they once were. But masturbation isn't about replacement – it's more about opportunity. It's only an issue when it reaches that stage.

At the same time, I know many women in heterosexual relationships who are perfectly content to let their partner dabble in self love. These are the women who view sex as a chore – usually the same women who I hear about from my sexually frustrated male friends.

I do believe there are women who are left feeling somewhat short-changed by the idea that their partner would opt for some masturbation versus sex. It comes down to context, when you think about it.

On a personal level, I don't get why men won't invite their partners to share in the moment; be an observer. I love to watch my husband pleasure himself. It's a highly erotic experience to witness.
 
But, it is a two-sided argument – as many women find sexual relief through a little manual manipulation and battery-operated banging. If they didn't, the sex toy industry would be almost non-existent. And there are men who feel that they have been replaced by some dildo modeled after the rather large member of a porn star; or they feel inadequate for the same reasons.

Which is something women don't get when it comes to men understanding why we masturbate.

Andee     xoxo

Fast Friday | Pure Randomness

Hey guys! Hope everyone is getting ready for the festive season! I love the holidays and all the excitement, but I have to admit that as I get older, the hustle and bustle wears me down faster.

And since we’re all running in top gear these days, I thought a quick little blog update might be more in line with the pace of our busy days. So, here’s a quick little something I’m calling my Fast Friday Five … five quick and easy questions that I can’t write a whole entry about, but have made their way to my inbox over the past few months.

Do you have a sexy nickname? How did you get it?
Well, my name for all my online fun is Andee – and maybe not as exciting as something like “Hot Lips” or “Lover Buns” but it is the name associated with all the naughty stuff I do here and on my website. The name came from a childhood friend who struggled to pronounce my real name. She still calls me that today; if she only knew!

What’s your favorite sexual position?
This question is always a huge struggle for me … I hate to pick just one. However, as I need to narrow it down, I love doggy-style the most. There is a lot to be said for having a guy enter me in that way; feeling him slide along all the most sensitive spots inside me … yum! Second to that would be the boring ol’ missionary, but mostly because I love kissing. And kissing while having sex … yowza!

But let’s be honest, anytime I am getting laid, that is the position I like to be in!

Do you prefer ice cubes or hot wax?
I have yet to experiment with hot wax … and while the ice cube experience was delightfully erotic on a very hot summer night, and the sensation of the cool water dribbling down my thighs was kind of cool, having the cock-shaped ice cube inside my pussy was friggin’ cold. I guess I should have tried the newlywed version of just using an ice cube to make my nipples stand out. But apparently the sensation of his hot erection slipping deep into my chilled pussy was amazing.

Do you like rough sex or smooth sex?
Yes …

Ok … each has its specific appeal. Sometimes there is nothing hotter than a very raunchy, tie me to the bed and torture me with sex toys evening, but I also enjoy a passionate, emotionally-driven tender night on occasion. Most of our sex life falls somewhere in the middle of these two extremes, but mixing things up every now and then keeps it all very hot and fresh.

Have you ever cross-dressed?
Um, no ... but even if I did, it’s probably not as kinky for a woman these days to dress up like a man as it is for one of you guys to slip on some of my favourite Fredericks of Hollywood lingerie and stockings and head out for a night on the town.

So there you guys, a few quick and easy answers to hopefully keep you sexually amused on what is surely a crazy Friday for you. It is for me.

Andee     xoxo

30 Random Things For A Friday

Like a few other updates that have happened over the past few days, this one has its roots in a previous blog that I wrote on a different site. I think it’s still kind of fun and covers off a whole whack of “too much information” about me.

I thought this might be something light and fun for a Friday. You have probably seen a few of these “random facts” blogs, so I hope it’s not too boring. If nothing else, if it spurs you to ponder any curious questions about me, please send them my way. I am always looking for new ways to involve you in my blog, and also to write about ideas, topics and interests that appeal to you. Otherwise you are just stuck inside my own head – and that can be a dangerous place to find yourself on the best of days!

1) Single, Taken, or Crushing?
Married, quite happily! But occasionally playful in the right moments!

2) Are you happy with where you are?
Extremely, except for financially, but isn't that the case with most people?

3) When you meet the right person, do you fall fast?
No, I tend to be a bit more coy and cautious.

4) Have you ever had your heart broken?
Yes ... and more than once.

5) Do you believe that there are certain circumstances where cheating is ok?
No, but with good communication and a mutual adventurous spirit, why cheat on your partner when you can explore together! ;-)

6) Would you ever take someone back if they cheated on you?
No. I would struggle to regain the trust and I think that would prevent the relationship from healing.

7) Have you talked about marriage with another person?
Several times ... but I am married after all.

8) Do you want children?
I already have two. Now we’re trying to adopt a dog.

9) How many?
The two I already have. Unless you meant the dog, then we will just stick with the one.

10) Would you consider adoption?
Yes. Especially of the dog.

11) If somebody liked you right now, what do you think is a cool way to let you know?
Be straightforward, talking is always a good thing. As I get older, the more I recognize that “games” can quickly get off track. If you want an adult relationship, start out by being an adult. Save the games for between the sheets when everyone is horny and naked.

12) Do you enjoy playing hard to get?
Am I hard to get? Hmmm ... I really prefer to play getting it hard.

13) Be honest, do you play the "game" when you are dating?
Completely. But most of my dates are with my husband, so it’s very safe to play the “game.” Fun, even. Especially when he is creative with the plans for the night!

14) Do you believe love at first sight exists?
Yes.

15) Are you romantic?
Extremely.

16) Do you believe that you can change someone?
I believe you can ... but more times than not, I have seen it for the worse and not the better.

17) If you could get married anywhere, money not an object where would it be?
In some incredible European castle.

18) Do you have feelings for someone right now?
Yes. Some of them are even good.

19) Have you ever wished you could've had someone but you couldn't?
Yes.

20) Have you ever broken a heart?
Honestly, I don't know.

21) Would you ever fight somebody over your significant other?
You wanna piece of me? But quite honestly, our relationship is such a way that I would rather just hold the camera and watch intently.

22) What would you say about your last ex?
Where's a speeding bus when you need one?

23) Favorite sex position?
Well, seriously ... do I need to pick just one? Anytime I'm getting some is a favourite position. But if I really need to pick just one, I'll say doggy style 'cause it feels so good and deep.

24) What turns you on the most?
The first thing I notice about a man that I have just met would be his hands. Then his smile. On a deeper note, I get turned on by a guy who can make me laugh, smile and appreciates my twisted sense of humour. Finally, if he gets the chance to bed me ... those hands better live up to all the expectations in my imagination! ;-)

25) Does size matter?
Sorry, but yes. But maybe not quite like what many guys think. Truth is, while I have never been with a guy like this, but too big can be a bad thing. You want something that fits, feels good. But having said that, no matter what, the guy needs to know how to use what he has.

26) Most times in one day?
Six

27) Most orgasms in one session?
I'm usually good for two, but then after that things tend to get a little numb as I am one of those women that needs a little extra help getting there.

27) What do you think about during sex?
Depends on the sex and the partner. Mostly I think about the sensations I'm feeling at the moment, and perhaps the events that led up to getting into that position. Rarely does my own mind wander away from what is really going on.

28) Ever had a threesome?
No, but I have had a foursome with my husband and another couple. That said, a MFM encounter is very high on my list of desires – and something I am working actively on achieving.

29) How often do you masturbate?
Four to five times per week if I'm getting regular sex that week. But like everyone else, some weeks the motivation just isn’t there, and others the motivation is really there!

30) Do you like oral?
Yes, I've been told it's one of my better bedroom skills by more than one guy ... and girl. In fact, I’ve blogged at length about it …

Anyway, hope you enjoy this little tongue and cheek bit of TMI for this week.

Andee     xoxo

 

Sex | The Unexpected Moments

There is something to be said about still being able to be surprised sexually at this stage in my life. It's not that I have a wealth of experience compared to some of the people I read about online, but knowing what a lot of the people in my offline life think, I've done a lot. And while I know there are so many things yet to be discovered, and many things that I would love to do all over again, what really gets me going are the spontaneous sex acts that still pop up every now and then.

To me, there is something really erotic about a sexual moment that is completely unplanned.

With that in mind, when this question popped up a while back, I thought it would make for an intriguing Formspring Friday update.

What was the most unexpected sexual experience you've ever had?

There's a few spontaneous quickies that easily come to mind, but the biggest unexpected sexual event in my life has to be the time when my husband and I literally could not wait to get home to get busy and we ended up parking on the side of a quiet dirt road and having sex in the cornfield.

Sure, it may not rate as wild and crazy as going at it on the elevator ride to the top of the Eiffel Tower, or having my skirt lifted from behind in the middle of a concert while the crowd rocked out to some hair metal. But for me it marks the real beginning of my sexual adventure ... the point in time when all the pillow talk and heat-of-the-moment fantasies turned into reality.

I've blogged about it before, but as a refresher ...

We had made all the plans to visit a lifestyle club after doing some research and careful planning. The night turned out to be quite hot - including me dancing topless in a crowd of people. That was a huge leap for me in my discovery. After having the time of our life at the club, we headed towards home. It was in the car when we realized just how horny we both were - now away from the music and crowd and able to talk about things. I was so turned on that it didn't take much for me to lift up the hem of my tiny dress and proceed to masturbate myself to two quick orgasms.

It was more than my poor husband could take ... he found a remote side road, backed our car into a field lane and then proceeded to drill me hard from behind. I left the handprints on the back windshield for weeks as a reminder of our naughtiness.

Sure, not as crazy as a lot of other people's experiences, but for me at that point of time in my life and marriage, this was a huge step towards a whole new level of intimacy in my relationship with my husband and myself. I learned so much about myself during that experience - which is what made it that much more unexpected.

On a more strictly-sexual level, the most recent unexpected moment came this summer following a coworker's stag and doe party. My husband had been toying with me all day about wearing a sexy little skirt and going commando. Knowing this was a party where people I worked with would be, I was reluctant to fulfill his wish outright. Close to the end of the evening, I slipped into the ladies room, removed the tiny panties I had been wearing and upon returning to our table, slipped them into his pocket.

In the elevator ride down to the parking lot, we enjoyed a very passionate kiss and quick fondle. I was expecting a bit of a playful ride home - much like the earlier description of me masturbating in the front seat as we cruised along. As we got to our truck, my husband pulled me along to the back and picked up on the kissing. As he did, he slid his hand under my skirt and began to play with my wet pussy.

Then, unexpectedly, he dropped to his knees, hiked up my skirt and proceeded to lick me thoroughly. After several minutes, he stood up and kissed me deeply so I could get a very delicious taste of me on him. Just as I figured I was going to get another good pounding from behind, the interior light from a car parked a few down from us came on. I'm not sure how long - or even if he was - sitting in the driver's seat, but part of me still gets a little excited by the idea that we may have given him a great late night show.

Once we got home, I led my date down the side of the house and then gave him a blowjob as a little extra something to end the night.

Andee     xoxo

What's So Unusual About Stockings

For some guys, today is a pretty special day - it's National Stockings Day in England, a day sponsored by Charnos Hosiery designed to raise awareness and money for breast cancer awareness. For anyone who is interested in following my own antics for the day, catch up with me on Twitter. I have a few really sexy stockings pics that will be posted throughout the day to help make it a bit more interesting for you.

Of course, the idea of me wearing stockings also fits into today's blog theme - something that popped up a while back in my Formspring questions.

What is the most unusual sexual experience you’ve ever had?

Are stockings really that unusual? Probably not for a lot of people; and really not so much for me when we just consider wearing them for something like my website or to make a video for you. But for me to push the limits of my comfort zone and introduce them as part of my work-related wardrobe ... that was exceptionally unusual (and sexual) for me.

If you remember back to what I wrote at the time, I think it really still sums up my thoughts:

One morning, I woke up before my husband, walked into the bathroom and proceeded to get ready for my day at work. Like I often do, I had set out my outfit for the day, so that I wouldn't need to disturb him while he slept. I found a little note from him stuck inside the dress I was planning to wear, along with the stockings and garterbelt. The whole thing was worth it the moment my husband walked into the kitchen to say goodbye to me before I left for the day.

I know my husband loves me, and we have an awful lot of fun together both in and out of the bedroom, but there is nothing that can mask true lustful surprise on a man's face. It's a look that goes right to my heart and knees ... and ego. After over 20 years of being together, there aren't many times left when I can see that sincere expression of delighted shock and desire. It was like watching a kid at Christmas.

Later in the day, when I revealed my fashion leap to my Office Guy the first time, his reaction was equally incredible. To stand just a few feet away from him and do the seductive hiking up of my hem, to see his eyes light up and just stare in amazement was an amazing turn-on for me. Then to allow him to touch and fondle ... still a prominent masturbation memory.

Of course, almost all of what opened the door on this was one of the other most unusual sexual experiences in my life: having an adult website ...

This is something that I would have never anticipated ever indulging in, but has certain been a big motivator and enabler in my sexual adventure. It has given me the confidence and fueled my desire to explore and push the limits.

I can't say that something like that would be for everyone - and, honestly, I'm thankful it's not.

Other things that come to mind, but may be best saved for a future blog, would include:

• Going to the swingers clubs ... that is way outside my comfort zone ...
• Finally finding the courage to turn my bi-curious status to bisexual ...
• My afternoon rendezvous with my Office Guy ... that is just something that I don't do, so for me that is beyond the limits.

 Having wrapped my brain around all of this though, the reality is I like the unusual side of life. It's what makes everything so interesting ... especially the sex!

Andee     xoxo

The Thoughts That Swirl Around

One of the questions that landed in my email recently kind of got me thinking. The person who sent it asked me if I ever fantasize about my website members, like they fantasize about me.

I guess the first answer is: I’m thankful some of you consider me fantasy material. I love bringing my crazy little world to you, and just appreciate knowing you are enjoying it.

My fantasies tend to fluctuate, as you have seen over the past two years of me sharing on my blog and the past 10 years on my Southern Charms site. Some I have been lucky to explore and turn into realities, while others are simply good ideas floating around in my imagination. And that’s probably not that different from many others – life experience tends to bring new ideas, desires and intrigue to a person.

I can’t say I have ever specifically fantasized about random men that may have sent me a sexy email or naughty IM. There have been guys who have been online friends – people I have chatted with, and in the beginning, a few guys I webcammed with – that I have shared a slightly more intimate experience with online. At the time, those experiences were a great deal of fun. My exposure to the more sexual side of the internet was new, fresh and helped fill both my time and imagination at point in my life when I needed some distraction.

But, like a lot of things, it became a bit “routine” and the excitement waned. New experiences took their place and I was off on a new direction in my sexual adventure.

The intriguing thoughts that still occasionally pop into my mind are more about the fun and pleasure that I hope my members – and readers here, as well – are having thanks to my efforts. I find it quite exciting and ego-boosting to think that I can still turn some men on with the kind of things I do online. If you knew the real me behind Andee, you would quickly see that I’m not a vain person, so doing the photos and videos are still, even after 10 years, a big stretch for me. I tend to see the flaws more than the fantasy.

But I won’t deny that I enjoy knowing the reaction those things produce. I believe that all women, on some level, like the idea of being sexually desirable; even if some of the more staunch feminists and anti-pornographers say the whole concept is disgusting.

The other part of my kink that this appeals to is the fact that I love watching a man pleasure himself. Seeing a man in all his erect glory, utterly turned on and stroking for all he is worth is exceptionally erotic. And why not? I know a lot of men like watching us masturbate. Goodness, there’s a whole billion dollar industry built around gadgets intended to help women reach orgasms.

Andee     xoxo

TMI Tuesday | Love, Sex and Cum

The fact that today is the day my Little Men go back to school should be orgasm-worthy enough. Anyone who has children will certainly appreciate that feeling. I love summer, and I love my kids, but the last couple weeks of vacation always seem to be the ones that turn it all from relaxation to the typical mantra of "I'm bored."

And at the same time, I'm also a little sad that the summer is reaching its end. This one just flew by for me, and half of the excitement and adventure I had hoped for never seemed to materialize. Maybe karma is thinking that autumn might need to be a hot one ... here's hoping!

This week’s TMI Tuesday questions come from the wacky, inventive, and sexually creative mind of the late phoenix.

1. We are all incurable sex addicts, but name one thing—a job, a passion, a creative outlet, a collection—of yours you use as a replacement, a distraction from constantly thinking about sex 24/7.
For me, the reality is the opposite. I use sex, and thinking about sex, as the distraction from the insanity that swirls around me. My job is very demanding, and sometimes emotionally difficult, so it can consume a lot of my conscious mind. From there, I go home to a somewhat equally taxing environment - not because of my marriage, but because I have two very busy Little Men (each with their own unique challenges and needs) and a mountain of bills (because no matter how much you dream, there is always some sort of debt to be paid). Trying to keep a household afloat and two growing young men on a positive path is a massive undertaking at the best of times.

And so, because all these other things in life are so consuming, my husband and I consciously set out on this sexual adventure I have blogged about for the past couple years. We have worked (and still continue to work at) shedding some of the hang-ups we have and try to fulfill as many of our passions, desires and fantasies as we can. Connected to that, my website has become an escape for me; somewhere that I can be a fantasy woman and all those wild sexual ideas that escape me during my real life.

2. Have you ever loved somebody so much you thought having sex with them would actually sully the pristine purity of that love?
I can't say I have. I think I am, once again, more on the opposite side of this: someone who has deep feelings for another person and has a strong desire to take it to the ultimate intimacy. With the people in my life that I have a sexual interest in, my mind tends to wander towards ideas of what it would be like to be naked, sweaty and in the throws of passion with them. Forbidden fruit tastes even sweeter ... sometimes.

3. If you could make love to yourself, would you? Describe this experience in full detail.
First, I would take me out to dinner - and if I ordered the lobster bisque, I would be seriously expecting to get laid later.

Since I already know what it takes to get me hot, wet and sexually enthusiastic, there would be a lot of kissing and gentle touching to begin with. I would make sure to pay careful attention to as many of my erogenous zones possible before I made any move that was overtly sexual. I was spend a good long time teasing my nipples with kisses and nibbles, until they were rock hard and pointing straight out. From there, I would begin the long, sensual process of working my way down to my pussy. First I would gently play with it with my fingers, taking my time to get there with my mouth.

Then, when I knew I was beyond turning back, I would begin to lick and gently suck on my clit, rubbing the tip of my tongue along the spot that I know sends those orgasmic shivers right through my body. At the same time I would slide two fingers deep into me, rubbing against my g-spot, working both until I could sense the building orgasm, the tension of the muscles, the pushing back against my fingers and mouth ... the swelling of my clit until everything reached a crescendo of throbbing, pulsing release.

Yowza ... now I'm quite turned on.

4. Cum, are you a fan? Explain and expound.
Yes, a huge fan. I love watching a man cum, I love making a man cum ... and I absolutely love it when he cums in my mouth. It took me a while to acquire a taste for that last statement, but as I became more experienced at using my oral talents to tease and torment a man, the more I enjoyed giving blowjobs. I think part of the experience is the ego boost that comes with knowing you can bring your partner to the height of pleasure. Seeing a man cum is the biggest reward for the sexual efforts I have put in to helping him achieve that orgasm.

Most recently, my husband did something relatively new in our sex life. Most times he just lets go with one big push while he is still inside me, but this time he pulled out and came all over the outside of my pussy. Looking down to watch him shoot on to me, and then the sensation of using his cum as lubricant for my vibrator was incredible.

5. Does it creep you out to know that God is watching you as you’re fucking?
If He is watching, then I might as well be entertaining. Not to mention, usually during a good session I am singing His praises anyway.

Bonus: Tell us something sexy that happened to you this week.
Hmm ... tough one, given the workload I had and the madness of getting the Little Men ready to return to school.

The week before back to school tends to be a whirlwind here. My little Little Man had back to back weekend baseball tournaments, then there's the back to school shopping and preparation, easing out of the summer routine into the more familiar and regular school routine...work...work...and getting ready for hockey tryouts. Spare time for something sexual and fun is a monsterous challenge.

That said, on Friday I was not at work, and was able to find a bit of time for myself in the morning. I was reading one of my more erotic books while taking a break in my bedroom. After one of the more sexual scenes, I was left quite turned on, so I reached into my night table for my favourite toy and worked myself into quite a delightful orgasm.

_____________________________________________

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Andee     xoxo

Sex | True ... or Urban Legend

Every so often, when the mood strikes and the planets seem to be aligned, the conversation at work turns to something intriguing. This time, instead of regaling each other with stories about our wild and crazy weekends (mine almost always involves kids’ sports in the summer time ... and the winter time), things turned to sex stories.

Someone had mentioned the old “I heard ...” and proceeded to tell everyone sitting there about how the had learned that a certain couple they knew (not us) were involved in “the lifestyle.” This, for those of you who prefer the old goldfish bowl description, is best known as being swingers.

And, it’s often in those discussions that I find my tongue hurts from biting it, or I have to give a friendly boot to those in my life who know just a bit too much about what my weekends are occasionally like.

Regardless, without rehashing the story of what has gone on in my own personal life over the past few months, truth be told, there aren’t very many wild and crazy sex tales for me to share. Even the few occasions when my husband and I tested the waters of swinging, it wasn’t anything like the stereotypes you might associate with it; no orange shag carpets, bean bag chairs, satin jumpsuits and guys with big cheesy moustaches. Just two overly excited married couples, a bit too much to drink, and our imaginations.

But the question in question was: “What is the wildest, most unbelievable sex story you have ever heard?”

I don’t know ... this is kind of where I always feel a bit naive and sheltered. Where I grew up, sex usually earned you a reputation. Then in college, it was a bit more experimentation; and though I shared a house with three guys, they knew well enough not to dish out too much of the sexual BS. None of them were exactly Casanovas.

Despite knowing these days that it was just our own small town version of the story, there was one of those urban legends going around back when I was in high school about a girl who tried the old "frozen hot dog" as a sex toy. As I am sure many of you have heard, the story goes about a girl who uses a ballpark frank to sexually pleasure herself, only to discover the hot dog breaks and has to go to ER to have it removed from her vagina.

At my school, the story began after one of those crazy bush parties that happened pretty much once a year. I remember the girl they said it was, and I still wonder if she ever knew, if she cared or if it left her with some sort of emotional pain.

The other story that I found kind of wild and unbelievable was one that was going around about one of the girl’s in my grade. It apparently happened after senior prom at one of the after parties. The girl, who had been drinking (these always revolve around too much alcohol), followed her friend and the friend’s boyfriend into one of the bedrooms at the house where the party was taking place. She then, rumour has it, successfully seduced the other girl and put on a display of lesbian sex not seen outside of movies about the Swedish Bikini Volleyball Team.

I think I am way more intrigued by this tale than the one about the hot dog, mostly because of my own bisexuality and how I would love to have the opportunity to ask the girl if that really did happen.

The thing about sex stories, I believe, is that few of us would tell the whole truth about our own experiences to people who are a regular part of our lives. In my own experience, I’m sure that quite a few people who be speechless to learn of the things I have done, even though none of them would prove to be the genesis of a trilogy of trashy erotic novels about bdsm, billionaires and red rooms. Despite the adventure I am having right now, there is little in my own sexual history that starts with “So, I met this football team after I won a wet t-shirt contest during Spring Break in Daytona ...”

But, who knows ... maybe someone out there is talking about this somewhat shy and quirky Canadian woman they know who has her own raunchy website and porn videos.

Andee     xoxo

Sex | Adventures In Masturbating

The one thing I can pretty much count on when I have a date night with my husband is that it will be nothing short of sexually-charged. Even if we are going something as innocent as a coworker's wedding, the night will definitely heat up at some point.

Not that I am complaining. I know a few people who would be over the moon if their spouse would go out for a night of erotic adventure ... without them.

The other thing about our date nights is that the conversations we have are usually quite erotic. Being parents - busy parents - it's not very often that we have a few hours of adult time to enjoy and connect over the ideas that swirl around in our minds.

Last weekend, we had a date planned for a friend's buck and doe (for those not familiar, those are the pre-wedding parties couples have; somewhat tamer than stags and hen nights, and designed for couples to share in the occasion). There's a lot more to share about that night, which will come about in other blog updates, but the one thing I wanted to share in this update was about the drive home.

The whole night was quite sexually charged. Before we left the party, I slipped into the washroom and removed my panties. It didn't matter much anyway, because I was already way beyond horny. In the elevator ride down to the parking lot, my husband slid his hand under my skirt and touched my wet pussy as we made out.

On the way home, as we talked about a bunch of things on our minds and caught up on being a couple again, I put one of my feet up on the dashboard. Doing this pushed the hem of my skirt higher and left me totally exposed. I'm not sure if the couple of guys standing on the corner as we waited for a light to change could see anything, but it's not like I was going to stop playing.

As we continued along on our way home, we started talking about how I have done this a few times recently, and how much fun it was to have these kind of moments together. Then, not sure how, the conversation turned to trying to figure out where is the most adventurous place that we have masturbated.

I kind of had to dig deep into my thoughts ... and despite the "wild" and sexually-free personality that tends to come out in my blog, in the car is probably the most adventurous.

I say adventurous because pretty much all of the other places I have ever enjoyed self-loving, very few could be considered as risky and out in the open. Even the events from Monday's blog took place in a bedroom. The one time at work - because my husband left me no choice with how much he got me turned on with his sexting - was in one of most remote washrooms in the building with the door locked..

Perhaps the greatest thrill at doing this came last winter when, after attending Sexapalooza and acquiring a new sex toy, I couldn't wait to get home to entertain and torment my husband. I pulled out my new little gadget, hiked up my skirt and began to masturbate. The excitement was really cranked up with the fact that we were also stuck in downtown traffic and people were walking right past the car as I was doing this. Without question, there was a couple of other drivers that enjoyed a good show that night.

Andee     xoxo

Sex | The Worst Time To Be Horny

Despite the impression I may give on here and through my frequent tweets, it would be only a little delusional to think that I spend every waking hour battling with my sexual desires and thoughts. I mean, let’s be honest, it’s just not realistic. As a very normal, healthy, working Mom with a pair of exceptionally busy kids, there is an awful lot around me that inhibit those sexual distractions.

Recently, I was having a discussion with a friend about those moments when life interferes with our libidos … and just when is it the worst time to be turned on.

If you understand anything about women (in general, of course) you will recognize there is a recurring event that is not our greatest time for sexual freedom and swinging-from-the-chandeliers passion. Enough said on that …

But, realistically, there are worse times to be horny.

For me, that would be at work. And again, this is rooted in what is realistic in life. While flirting and verbal teasing can be a fun way to pass some time and release a little stress, truth be told there is very little that can be acted upon. And even if that opportunity was there, this is still my workplace.

My husband is usually the biggest culprit in getting me turned on at work. He has an incredible ability to sext his way into the heart of my sexual imagination and torment me in all the right ways. It doesn't help that he knows just what it does to me when he teases my mind in such a way ... and then continues with a day-long process of electronic foreplay/mind fuck.

There have been a few occasions where I pushed the limits on what might be acceptable behaviour for the workplace - and tempted fate by involving other people in my horny games - but mostly, the opportunity to convert that raging desire into dripping satisfaction is a big challenge. Not to mention, it's something that is truly outside of my comfort zone, no matter how turned on I might be.

I know some will offer the idea of slipping into a bathroom and employing a little finger play to find release. Naturally, I would love to have such freedom, but there are some very specific logistics that make it almost impossible to do so. Even on the occasion that I did need to bring about some sexual release, it was in a bathroom tucked away in the deep recesses of the building, and with the door locked.

The challenge for me is trying to keep my mind focused when I find myself in such a state. Truth of the matter is, I have a job to do - and it can be a very demanding job. So, to spend the day strolling around with wet panties ... that's a toughie.

Andee     xoxo

What Still Makes Me Blush?

I’d like to say that I started out with good intentions to make this a Formspring Friday kind of deal, but instead I chose to go with a question I had been asked that appealed more to the Fantasy Friday side of me. That said, I don’t think you’ll be disappointed that I made you wait until Monday for a good blog update about masturbation!

This one made me think for a while – mostly because in my ongoing sexual adventure, I have become very sex-positive and more aware of some of my own kinks. I definitely know that I have grown, matured so to speak, and gained a whole new outlook on who I am and what I want from my life both personally and sexually.

What is the one thing you have done sexually that still makes you blush when you think about it?

There are a lot of things that turn me on like crazy when I think back on them; from all the new experiences at the beginning of this, through to events like this past weekend when hubby and I went out on a hot date and did some naughty things. But there is one event that still makes me blush whenever I think back on it:

The first time I masturbated to orgasm in front of other people – who were in the room, not on webcam, or anything like that.

To me, as much as I love masturbating, it still is something that I consider to be a very personal and intimate act; even more so than having sex while another couple is in the room. The idea of the webcam shows still maintains a level of anonymity. It’s just another person watching me, but not really knowing who I really am – knowing the real person behind “Andee.” But to complete the act while others are right there, watching me bring myself to that point of no return; that is kinky.

The time that comes to mind is from when my husband and I were newly experimenting with the idea of soft swapping. We had become good friends with this couple, and over a few weeks and get-togethers, eventually made our way into the bedroom for some fun and games. And despite what all those steamy porn movies would like to have you believe otherwise, sex when there are more than two people involved doesn’t always reach a crescendo at the same time …

As all these wonderful new moments transpired among the four of us, things had reached a point where the wife of the other couple made her way back to giving her husband a blowjob. As I lay there watching, I started to touch myself – almost subconsciously – because it was the first time I had witnessed someone do that in person. It was an incredible turn on. As she got more into what she was doing, I got more and more into what I was doing.

In no time, I had completely lost myself in my own sensations, put my head back, closed my eyes and continued to masturbate. It never occurred to me that what I was doing was turning them on to the point where he came in her mouth, and then together watched as I played furiously with myself. It didn’t seem that it went on for all that long, but when I finally came down after what must have been my third orgasm in the evening, I looked over to see three smiling faces.

Later on my husband expressed how surprised he was over how much I had gotten into playing with myself, and he and the other couple loved watching me bring myself to orgasm.

To this day, thinking back on that still makes me blush. I guess partly because I have not been able to repeat the act, but also because of just how intimate something like that can be and sharing it was a huge leap for me.

Andee     xoxo