Sex | Something You Haven't Done

Every now and then, when these kind of questions come up, I get the strangest thoughts in my head. I'm sure the intention behind this one is to detail some swinging-from-the-chandelier rendezvous, but despite the collection of explicit fantasies in the recesses of my mind, one answer immediately emerged.

What's the one fun thing you would like to do sexually that you haven't done yet?

As simple as it may sound, the one thing that sits in my mind as something that would be an absolute blast, and maybe not too out there when it comes to sex, is playing strip poker. I'm not much of a card player, but it's one of those things that I know a lot of people have done in their life and I think it would be something a little wild and crazy. Plus, it generally involves a healthy bit of exhibitionism and voyeurism ... and if you play it right, sexy naked men.

And for me, it would have to be a co-ed game, because that would be a great way to see where else some of the bets could go ... maybe an intriguing post-strip game of spin the bottle or truth or dare, all adult versions of course.

Naturally, I would wear lots of layers to the game ... or if I was feeling lucky, maybe I'd show up commando!

Andee     xoxo

TMI Tuesday | 'Tis The Season

Is everybody getting ready for another great festive season? I love this time of year, even if things do get a little crazy. For today's TMI Tuesday, we start getting into the Christmas spirit ... and while you are reading, I'm probably getting into the Christmas "spirits!"

During the December holiday season, do you:
   a) Go away to join other family?
   b) Have holiday fun with immediate family?
   c) Get to be alone with a lover?
   d) Enjoy the peace and quiet and downtime of being with yourself?
While it’s not as bad as it used to be, Christmas for me is a whirlwind of activity – and spending time with my own family, and then with my immediate family. My husband kind of views his family as a “if it fits my mood and schedule” Christmas, which often means we don’t see too many people from his side.

What is your favourite holiday tradition or thing you like to do every holiday season?
For me, it’s decorating my Christmas tree. It’s not something that is shared with the same level of sentimentality in our house, but I just love taking my time and reflecting on what each of the ornaments mean to me.

You are walking down the street and a sexy person is standing with a sign that says “Kiss Me” and mistletoe hanging above their head.
   a) Would you kiss the person? Yes or no?
   b) Why, or why not?
Sadly, a cop-out answer here: it all depends. It would depend on my mood, on the circumstances and the level of sexiness that the sign-holder is giving off. Being married also means that my level of smoochable freedom is somewhat restricted to my husband and the occasional clandestine pucker with a certain Office Guy.

Santa made up his list and he has checked it twice. Turns out you are on the “naughty” list. What is the naughty thing you did that put you on that list.
That all depends on how much room Santa has on that list to outline the naughtiness that has been my 2012! But cutting to the chase, probably the naughtiest thing I did in 2012 that I am willing to confess to is the time I managed to convince my married Office Guy to join me for some seriously sexy fun back in March. Without a doubt, there are many who would consider that to be an exceptionally naughty thing for me to do – but I stand by my defence: I had permission to fool around that time.

As for the rest of it; surely Santa knows that sometimes it is better to keep some of those secrets and share the occasional little white lie in order to protect the innocent … right?

If Santa knows more than that, he at least better have been holding the video camera!

For being naughty you have been locked in a room where you will have to watch 24 hours of a holiday movie. Which movie would you choose?
   a) A Christmas Story
   b) It’s A Wonderful Life
   c) White Christmas
   d) A Christmas Carol (original 1938 version or the 1992 Muppet version)
Easy answer for me: A Muppet Christmas Carol. It has become one of my favourites of the holiday season. Although, if you were going to look at this as punishment, It’s A Wonderful Life would be the worst possible thing I could have to endure for 24 hours. I don’t get the appeal of that movie as a “Christmas classic” and it would definitely not put me in the holiday spirit.

BONUS: The holidays can be a hectic time of year, so much so that romance might take a back seat to festivities and such. Give us your sexy tip for keeping away the “chill” and “heating up” the holiday season.
A few years ago, my husband and I started a little Christmas Eve tradition affectionately known as the Naughty Stocking. It’s a cheesy animal-print Christmas stocking that my husband would fill with certain items meant for those “couple moments” and “adult fun” as a small reminder that, despite being parents, we were also a couple.

This was how I got a lot of my naughty lingerie and sex toys for Christmas … because opening a package from Victoria’s Secret in front of my children usually results in a raucous meltdown of prepubescent boys being grossed out by the sight of a woman's naughty knickers.

Andee     xoxo

Sex | True ... or Urban Legend

Every so often, when the mood strikes and the planets seem to be aligned, the conversation at work turns to something intriguing. This time, instead of regaling each other with stories about our wild and crazy weekends (mine almost always involves kids’ sports in the summer time ... and the winter time), things turned to sex stories.

Someone had mentioned the old “I heard ...” and proceeded to tell everyone sitting there about how the had learned that a certain couple they knew (not us) were involved in “the lifestyle.” This, for those of you who prefer the old goldfish bowl description, is best known as being swingers.

And, it’s often in those discussions that I find my tongue hurts from biting it, or I have to give a friendly boot to those in my life who know just a bit too much about what my weekends are occasionally like.

Regardless, without rehashing the story of what has gone on in my own personal life over the past few months, truth be told, there aren’t very many wild and crazy sex tales for me to share. Even the few occasions when my husband and I tested the waters of swinging, it wasn’t anything like the stereotypes you might associate with it; no orange shag carpets, bean bag chairs, satin jumpsuits and guys with big cheesy moustaches. Just two overly excited married couples, a bit too much to drink, and our imaginations.

But the question in question was: “What is the wildest, most unbelievable sex story you have ever heard?”

I don’t know ... this is kind of where I always feel a bit naive and sheltered. Where I grew up, sex usually earned you a reputation. Then in college, it was a bit more experimentation; and though I shared a house with three guys, they knew well enough not to dish out too much of the sexual BS. None of them were exactly Casanovas.

Despite knowing these days that it was just our own small town version of the story, there was one of those urban legends going around back when I was in high school about a girl who tried the old "frozen hot dog" as a sex toy. As I am sure many of you have heard, the story goes about a girl who uses a ballpark frank to sexually pleasure herself, only to discover the hot dog breaks and has to go to ER to have it removed from her vagina.

At my school, the story began after one of those crazy bush parties that happened pretty much once a year. I remember the girl they said it was, and I still wonder if she ever knew, if she cared or if it left her with some sort of emotional pain.

The other story that I found kind of wild and unbelievable was one that was going around about one of the girl’s in my grade. It apparently happened after senior prom at one of the after parties. The girl, who had been drinking (these always revolve around too much alcohol), followed her friend and the friend’s boyfriend into one of the bedrooms at the house where the party was taking place. She then, rumour has it, successfully seduced the other girl and put on a display of lesbian sex not seen outside of movies about the Swedish Bikini Volleyball Team.

I think I am way more intrigued by this tale than the one about the hot dog, mostly because of my own bisexuality and how I would love to have the opportunity to ask the girl if that really did happen.

The thing about sex stories, I believe, is that few of us would tell the whole truth about our own experiences to people who are a regular part of our lives. In my own experience, I’m sure that quite a few people who be speechless to learn of the things I have done, even though none of them would prove to be the genesis of a trilogy of trashy erotic novels about bdsm, billionaires and red rooms. Despite the adventure I am having right now, there is little in my own sexual history that starts with “So, I met this football team after I won a wet t-shirt contest during Spring Break in Daytona ...”

But, who knows ... maybe someone out there is talking about this somewhat shy and quirky Canadian woman they know who has her own raunchy website and porn videos.

Andee     xoxo

Panties | So You Wanna Have A Peek

A couple weeks ago I blogged a little about panties, and whether or not I made certain selections just for those times when I expected sex to be on the agenda. And one of my most popular blog posts has been about my particular panty strategy. It seems that a lot you like to get into my panties.

And there's probably a couple of you that I would like to get into my panties!

The truth is, I am kind of flattered. These days I pay more attention to what I wear, because there is something to be said for feel using sexy and looking sexy. I think I have also reached a stage in my life where my style is changing as I look to enhance my assets and squash the workplace boredom.

With all that talk about my underwear choices this was kind of a fun list to come up with, based on a question I was asked a while back about flashing my knickers in public.

So, where are the best places to give you guys a naughty peek? Here are  

Six Sexy Spots You May Have Seen My Panties:

1. At work

There are two kinds of office flashes: the ones where I know you are looking, and the ones when you steal a peek unbeknownst to me. The latter tends to occur during those moments when I might need to bend down and you try to grab a quick look from behind. Surprise, surprise, I know you guys do that. What won't be surprising is for you to see me doing the trailer trash t-bar. You should know by now that I'm much more of a bikini girl ... and I can't stand it when you see those women who must be flossing. Not sexy.

The intentional peeks are much more fun and these days, by far, my favourite. These are the moments when you might see me sitting very strategically in the cafeteria, the hem of my dress carefully adjusted to the right length across my thighs as I cross and uncross my legs. You might even think that I have forgotten I am wearing a skirt or dress. But I know you are looking, because when I am in the mood to tease you this way, every move is carefully planned. Of course, this is usually targeted towards a select few.

2. Behind the wheel

Another fun way to be a little playful. Pull up beside me and you might notice the hem of my skirt or dress pulled right up. Have to be a bit careful with this one though, you don't want those guys driving right off the road! There has also been a few times when, as a passenger, I have tormented my date just a little by pulling up what I am wearing and seeing how long he can a) keep his eyes on the road, and b) hold off from touching me in all the right places.

3. On the the train

A so-so one with me, mostly because the overwhelming majority of the men I encounter on the train tend to be really obnoxious perverts. I'm not all that turned on by their constant attempts to sneak a peek. You know what, buster? We're not dumb. And you're way too obvious to deserve a tease.

However, there is the odd occasion where I might intentionally sit in a particular way so that one of my handsome targets can enjoy a little panty peekaboo. I love to flirt and holding his attention becomes a very intriguing and subtle game.

4. On a date

Probably should rank a lot higher, but the majority of my dates these days are with the man who gets to see my panties pretty much anytime he wants ... and has purchased a huge selection of items in my "Just for Sex" clothing collection.

Of course, what has become a lot more fun with this particular panty flash is to show them off while not actually wearing them! Easily done by taking a moment to slip into the bathroom, remove them and then return to my date. At this point, I slip them into his pocket; or even better, into his hand while they are still warm and moist from being on me.

5. At a party

The party panty flash is basically the same as above ... although there may be an occasion or two in my past that involved alcohol and more than just one guy getting to enjoy my underpants. Maybe.

What is different from the date night knicker experience, the party panty flash is more often than not employed as a tactic to leave the party. Date nights are designed to build anticipation, make him work harder as reaching into my sexual mind or a reward for getting me horny with his charm.

6. On the dance floor

In all honesty, the last time I flashed my panties on the dance floor came courtesy of a naughty girlfriend, who lifted my skirt to flash a group of guys who were watching us from the sidelines.

Despite me wearing some brand new sex-worthy panties, the cute one never did email me ... hmm ... must have noticed the wedding ring on my finger.

Andee     xoxo

Commando | Spoiling the Panty Raid

One of the fun things that my husband and I like to tease each other with - typically by texting - is the idea of me going commando at work. Now, that might seem a little vanilla for some, but my workday (and this scenario) usually includes at least one other person in the equation ... so it's not just about a body-hugging dress and not having any VPLs. And it often involves me starting out with panties, but coming home without them. 

Of course, most of that seems to find its way to Twitter too ...

Anyway, I was having this fun conversation on Friday night with my girlfriends from work about some of the naughty times when we have teased the crap out of our guys, the crazy stuff we've done just to spice up the moment, and what are some of the things that worked best when we wanted to turn up the heat.

This seemed somewhat appropriate given all those memories that came back. 

Commando: Sexy or disgusting? 

I think it depends totally on the situation and the person. For me, the commando experience is reserved for some very special moments ... and occasionally occurs unplanned. So on my own level, I think "sexy."

And, as was pointed out to me during this process, the origins of "going commando" are not from an episode of the sitcom Friends - although I'm sure many a man has fantasized about the scene in which Jennifer Aniston's character alludes to the fact that she is sans panties under her dress. The expression apparently comes from a more military background referring to soldiers doing what they could to avoid crotch rot and chaffing ... eeeww. 

Do you have a "best" commando story?  

As I mentioned, there aren't many moments when I intentionally set out in "commando" mode. Even when my hubby and I were exploring the swingers club scene, I still slipped into a tiny g-string. Most of the times when I've removed my panties have been either by request, or as a playful surprise.

The very last time was a couple months ago, when my hubby and I were attending the Everything To Do With Sex Show in Toronto. Naturally it was a very sexually charged date night, and as we were leaving, I slipped into the ladies room and ditched my panties. The ride home, if you recall from my previous blog about it, was even more sexually charged! Those are exactly the kind of commando moments in my life.

One of the "best" times I ever did the commando thing was at a Christmas party my husband's work was hosting. These things tended to be a little routine at best and, while I started the evening wearing a dainty pair of knickers, I felt our evening could be a lot more exciting. The whole evening marked a number of "firsts" for me, as you will see. And, as we were still only dating at the time, this was the first time I had been so openly brazen in our sexual relationship. I guess some firsts can be the most memorable.

After a couple of drinks, I was ready to focus more of my attention on getting my date for the evening to ditch his coworkers and concentrate on my needs. I slipped into the ladies room and promptly removed my panties. Returning to the table, I used the very cliche method of distraction: I whispered in his ear that I needed him to hold onto my panties for me, as I stuffed them into his suit jacket pocket.

Of course, that guaranteed a lot more attention coming my way. We stayed and enjoyed a few more dances and headed home for a more private party. On the way home, I firmly planted my heels on the dashboard, pulled up the hem of my party dress and, for also the first time, proceeded to masturbate in the front seat while he drove along.

Andee     xoxo

Strip Clubs | Double Standards?

Way back in January I wrote an answer to a question that someone sent me regarding my husband and strip clubs. And it seems the subject is still high on the list for some people.

I was reading a piece in the recent edition of Men's Health (yes, I read it too ... just as long as they keep putting in all those pics of topless hunky guys, I will keep reading it.) and there was a question from a guy whose wife had secretly been to a strip club with the girls.

Hmm...double standard?

That said, I can understand his concern. You see, strip clubs for women are remarkably different than strip clubs for men. While the premise - someone getting naked - is the same, from my own experience I have learned that the men prefer to have a much darker, seedier, private setting than women. Women tend to go crazy when the guys take to the stage, and it all goes downhill from there. Women tend to get incredibly wound up. The atmosphere is charged higher than a trendy nightclub, and you just know someone, at some point, is getting groped.

One time a male stripper had picked up my chair, had my ankles over his shoulder and was dancing around with me. Another one had his ... um ... business right in my face. Not that I'm complaining, but you get the picture. Contact is a likely event.

Men, from what I have seen in the few times I have been to "gentlemen's clubs," tend to slink into their chairs, afraid to look any of the other guests in the eyes. There's no touching (apparently). Rumours swirl around what goes on in the VIP, or private, rooms to contradict that rule. But in the main area, the tension can be cut with a knife. I rather enjoy the slightly sadistic element of how awkward it gets when I "invade" this traditionally men-only audience. They're never quite sure how to deal with a woman who is there for a couple drinks, but not to dance. It's like catching a teenager with a Playboy.

But to the issue at hand - the guy writing was concerned because his wife had done this on the sly.

What I see as a bigger issue is that people fail to communicate in their marriage. Only knowing the superficial details, it seems there isn't a lot of trust there. Why wouldn't she share the details? I doubt it is because of the naked guys. But it might be issues of jealousy surrounding her being in the company of naked guys.

Me? I like naked guys, and I like being in the company of naked guys. Fortunately my hubby also likes the idea of me being in the company of naked guys. And I don't have issues with him enjoying naked women.

Is it all that different for women to enjoy the same kind of adult entertainment? Why should it be different?

So, I remain confused over what the big deal is with adult entertainment. I mean outside of the organized crime, drugs, exploitation and prostitution, there's nothing (in my opinion) seemingly wrong with strip clubs. Where I live they are a dying breed of business. Many have shut down, mostly because of the organized crime, drugs, exploitation and prostitution. But the lack of strip clubs doesn't prevent the organized crime, drugs, exploitation and prostitution. It just forces them to find alternatives.

All it really does is limit the options of seeing naked people.

Andee     xoxo

 

Five Places I've Blown His Mind

Here we are just one day away from the long weekend in Canada. Even though I just had a holiday a few weeks ago, I can say that I am desperate for the time off. The past few months have just been a whirlwind of activity in my household, and putting the brakes on the rush would be a great thing for a few days.

I know it’s a big holiday down south too, on Monday. I have to say, I love how my American friends celebrate July 4...tons of food, friends and fireworks. The best of times always seem to involve those three things!

Speaking of fireworks (in a good way), I was getting into quite the conversation with a girlfriend the other day about “blowing his mind.” She was telling me about some of the intriguing places she has…um…set firecracker off. OK, I’m out of fireworks puns …

We were giggling about those times when we have surprised some of the men in our lives with our oral fixations…and you know me, I couldn’t miss the chance to use that horny moment for sharing. And not to mention, all the great memories of when I put my mouth where my money is!

Now keep in mind, the list is not complete…and to use a phrase my hubby always seems to be saying, “it’s a living document.” I guess that means with a little extra effort, it could go to a Top 10 soon …

Five fond places I’ve given BJs

Friends hot tub

For me this was the first true leap into group sex, swinging, swapping … whatever you want to call it. My husband and I had talked about exploring with another couple for a very long time, and after dipping our toes into the idea with friends, we found ourselves naked in a hot tub with them. For the first little while we all just sat, talked, etc. Things heated up a bit when we started kissing, then on the spur of the moment, my hubby got up and sat on the edge of the hot tub. I turned to face him and took his cock in my mouth. A couple minutes later I felt someone’s hand gently rubbing my butt under the water…and then the fingers found that wonderfully delicious spot.

Uh huh…ranks high on my list of memories for fresh batteries.

Car while driving

I think a lot of us have done the backseat thing, but this was a very erotic spur of the moment thing. I had been reading one of those trashy women’s magazines and a reader’s story about when she had surprised her boyfriend with a blowjob while they were travelling somewhere. I found the idea extremely exciting and one afternoon, while my husband and I were driving I reached over and undid his zipper. I started telling him about what I had read as I stroked him to an erection, then shuffled so I could take him in my mouth.

Backyard in middle of the day

Now this may not rank in terms of adventurous, like going down on a guy while riding the elevator at the Eiffel Tower, but there is something to be said about incredibly sensual unplanned moments. This one particular day we were just enjoying a summer afternoon with a cold drink out on our deck. The kids weren’t home, so the timing was in my favour.

Without saying a word, I knelt down in front of my husband and pulled his shorts down to his ankles, leaving him totally exposed. I then set to work on getting him nice and hard with my mouth…and then into the full-on blow-your-mind experience.

To this day I kind of hope it was one of those afternoons when my voyeuristic neighbour was home.

On my family’s boat in the middle of the bay

One afternoon, long before children, my husband and were out on my family’s boat alone…it’s just a little recreational thing with an outboard that the guys use for bass fishing. It was a great summer afternoon, and while my hubby was drowning a few worms, I was sunbathing in my bikini, reading another one of those trashy women’s magazines. The letters, for me, are a bit like your Penthouse letters…I like them because reading them gets me horny. I didn’t really plan where any of the afternoon was going, but I decided that I would take off my top … just to see if he would notice.

I lay there for a bit longer, reading these letters, chatting about them. Soon we were talking about sex and such. Then I went to where he was sitting and sat on the edge of the boat, still topless. He commented about others seeing, and I said something like, “Then they need a real show” and slid his shorts down and proceeded to suck him dry.

College - in a bedroom during a party

So far you have read about all the fun my husband has experienced with my mouth, but here’s one that reveals a little something in me that I’m still torn over…but still use often as sexual fodder when I’m alone with fresh batteries.

I mentioned this in my twitter update yesterday during Sex Confession Wednesday. In college I lived in a house with three guys and another girl. The guys used to throw parties quite a bit and occasionally things would get a little out of hand.

Most weekends I would go visit my fiance at the time and avoid the whole scene. I wasn’t exactly a party-girl at that point in my life.

One weekend though, I did have stay at school. And yes, this probably reads a bit like those Penthouse letters of yours.

At the party, I met this cute guy and a couple of us were just nicely flirting, nothing insane…and then one of his drunken friends dared him to show my girlfriend and I his “apparently” large package. The guy was kind of sweet, telling his friend that he was just chatting with us, etc., etc. Well, as guys can be guys … and some of us girls can be easily swayed with a few drinks … things began to get a lot more sexual. Finally my girlfriend calls him out on the dare. Needless to say I was shocked, but intrigued anyway.

A bit more of the verbal this and that, and then we headed to one of the bedrooms because the guy said he would, but not in front of the whole party. We went upstairs, but his drunken buddy bailed for the bathroom and never showed up. So there were the three of us, me and my girlfriend sat on the bed waiting for this guy to show us the goods. He dropped his jeans and goodness, it was impressive.

“Nice, but it’s not hard?” my girlfriend says. I was stunned, shocked, surprised…drunk.

He starts stroking himself and it grows … oh, it grew! My girlfriend is being a typical drunk, giggling and carrying on. Then she bails! I’m sitting there in the bedroom with this guy standing in front of me stroking his cock.

Um…not what I expected from my college education, naïve little engaged farm girl.

And he’s not stopping and I find I’m not moving either, just watching very intently as this guy masturbates just a couple feet in front of me. He asked me if I wanted to feel it, or something like that. I mumbled something back about being engaged and babbling about not … you know … but it looked so incredible and I was really starting to have that horny battle in my head. I think he said something back about touching it didn’t mean intercourse …

So, I let him take my hand and he shuffled a bit closer to me. I wrapped my fingers around it and I remember how hot the flesh of his cock felt in my hand…and how it was big.

As I stroked him just a little, he edged closer. He was pretty much right in front of my face…

I remember saying I wouldn’t swallow … and I still remember how he tasted.

Andee     xoxo

Bisexuality | My Answer To Marcos

My online friend Marcos had asked me about my blog a while back when I touched on the idea of losing my bi-curious virginity. Of course, it one of the subjects that I do like to discuss when given the chance ­­– mostly because it’s not something that I can bring up at work among my co-workers all that frequently.

It took quite a long time for everything to come to the point of having my bi-curious status change to practicing bisexual … although the practicing part has slowed down considerably of late.

I can’t say that it is this way for all women, but I always wondered in my own mind about other women. As a teenager I would notice some of my classmates, and one of my best friends was a lesbian – although she wasn’t “out of the closet” on that in our small town. But like most high schools, you heard rumours of what went on at certain parties with certain people and instead of being filled with the “drama” of the gossip I was more inclined to go “hmmm, too bad I missed it…”

The first time I really had the opportunity to come to terms with my feelings was when I was away at a work-related conference with a coworker. Not to rehash the story, you can catch up on your background reading in my entry Bisexuality | When It All Came Out.

I spent a couple years with those bi-curious feelings a lot closer to the surface because of what happened that weekend. My husband was very enthusiastic about the idea of me exploring more… for some strange reason … and we would often talk about taking things to the next level. This was when we started going to swinger clubs and dances, met some nice couples, etc., but nothing ever really launched to that next stage of exploration.

Taking The Leap
Then one night at a neighbour’s party I started chatting with the husband of one couple we knew. Drinks had been going down pretty easy all night and the conversation quickly moved to a very sexual nature, and continued pretty much for the rest of the night. A lot of things got shared, and before you know it, we had found some friends that shared some very similar desires and willingness to explore as my hubby and I.

So, now that we had pretty much established that all four of us shared the idea of exploring on an even bigger level, we made the necessary arrangements to solve our mutual horniness. To be honest, it did take a couple of tries to really figure everything out – much like dating on a normal level. The first time we got together, we ended up in the hot tub. It was here that I kissed her for the first time.

The next time we got together things progressed to a more interesting point. We moved our evening into their bedroom where everyone got naked and jumped into bed. There was an awful lot of foreplay, kissing between her and I, her husband and I, her and my husband. At one point, I was on my back and her husband was teasing my pussy with his fingers and tongue. Next thing I know, she is between my legs licking me. It felt absolutely marvelous. It was the first time another woman had licked me there, and my orgasm wasn’t all that long in cumming.

Not one to be selfish, we switched positions and I repaid the favour, sharing her pussy with my husband. It was the first time I had tasted another woman ­– and I was now totally hooked on it. My curious nature had been replaced with a burning lust and a little bit of experience.

The couple are still good friends, but we don’t see them much anymore, and after those first few experiences, my husband struggled a bit with the “chemistry” of it all. I was into her and all the fun it brought to the moment, but in those times when the guys would switch and I would find myself playing around with her husband, mine was just not feeling the mood. And that is an important thing – everyone has to have that chemistry for it to be exciting and erotic.

I can’t say the whole experience played out the way I imagined. The piece of advice I do offer to couples and friends we meet that I share my fantasies with, and invite into my lifestyle on a personal, real, level is that fantasy is often better than the reality. In the fantasy, you don’t think about the awkwardness of four adults on a queen-size bed, or if the guys are totally OK with another guy in the room with a throbbing erection. You forget that, after 20 years of monogamous sex, everyone has their own “style” of foreplay. You forget how alcohol can impair the sensation (and occasional judgment call).

But if you accept that these moments are less than Hollywood perfect, then the experience can be incredible and exciting like few others.

As you read in The Adventure Is Back On Track, I have also explored with another experience and can say I want to explore even more. But at the end of it all, the adventure will continue to take me where it will. I can’t over-plan for these things.

Hope that sheds a little more insight for you!

Andee xoxo

Sex Partners | It's Just a Number

Ever have one of those moments when you think “hey, no big deal,” and then it turns out to be?

Yesterday, for one of my somewhat random tweets, I dropped a little statistic about how people tend to lie about the actual number of sex partners they have. Some exaggerate the number, while others shave a couple off the truth – you know, those regretful “who the hell are you” drunken one-night stands followed by high doses of a general antibiotic.

I’m certainly not suggesting that from a personal experience … um … uh …

I have always been a very open person when it comes to my sex life – and I am always seeking new chapters to add. Sure, some things get forgotten about along the way, but mostly I have been an open book. My husband and I break just about every “dating rule” there is out there – including the one that says “never discuss your past sex life.” How else do you fill those long drives when you’re on vacation?
 
After I wrote that tweet, I got into one of those types of discussions with a couple of people I work with. I told them as much, that my husband knows almost everything his wife got up to before, after and when he’s not around. I was stunned when one of the women said she has pretty much lived a marriage of lies, convincing her husband that she was a virgin when they married. She said they would have never made it to the church had he known about her “wild and crazy” sex life before they met – and all of those TWO guys she had fooled around with.

Ok, that may be a bit judgmental of me to say … I have no doubt that she knew how her husband would have reacted. And as we all know – but apparently won’t admit – numbers are just numbers; quality wildness over quantity craziness.

Truth is, I’m no Route 66 of experience myself. Despite the current sexual adventure I am on these days, my sex life only really picked up when I became a wife. It was my conversations, encouragement and experimenting with my husband that led me to exploring my bi-sexual side, to dabble in swinging, and basically have some really awesome experiences. We built a relationship that many would consider “odd.” In fact, some of my friends raise an eyebrow before I even answer the mandatory Monday question of “How was the weekend?”

But we have also seen more than a couple relationships end in divorce because the couples stuck by their personal hang-ups more rigidly than fanning the bigger flames of passion that marriage really can bring. The wife gets jealous over his “nights out with the boys,” the husband gets annoyed with her reluctance for sex. Neither see how boring they let themselves become as they seem to think that a wedding ring means the party is over.

But me on the other hand, as a loyal wife, I’m not one to make any crazy sexual leaps without my partner by my side. Seriously, someone has to be there to hold the video camera!

As someone in our conversation pointed out – what exactly does “sex partner” constitute? Does penetration have to be a requirement? These days, according to more than a couple different trashy magazine surveys, young people do not consider oral sex to be sex, nor do some see it as “cheating” when performed on someone other than a steady partner. In one survey, from a more reputable source, less than 20 per cent of college undergrads said oral did not mean “sex.”

Interesting … because if that’s the case I may need to adjust my numbers!

Andee     xoxo

Public Sex | My Personal Bucket List

I can see why springtime is considered mating season. I think my own libido must have some sort of connection with the arrival of warmer weather. Now that nicer days have arrived on my doorstep, I find myself feeling a bit more randy. Of course, that might also have something to do with me being, statistically, in my sexual prime.


I have a hot new update online for you guys today, so I hope you take a moment to slip on over to my website and watch me slip out of some sexy and sheer black lingerie.

Lately, I have been chatting with a girlfriend about how, with the arrival of warm weather, we can take our intimate fun outside some days. I’m amazed and somewhat disappointed at the same time how some couples neglect even the smallest opportunity to bring a little adventure into their lives. Geez, when we were teenagers we would do it just about anywhere we could … now we’re older, too many of us seem to have forgotten the thrill.

I fantasize about sex in public places quite a bit. I have a very active imagination, and when it gets cooped up, strange things begin to happen. The idea of sharing a moment of incredible passion and lust with the risk of being seen, or even caught. I would say this might be one of my biggest fantasies of late. The downside to all of it is finding a way to make it a reality. I find it extremely exciting to imagine being somewhere, and slipping away to a more private area, like the bathroom or something and really getting it on. It's kind of tied in with my whole idea of the clothed sex thing, and taking that to a braver level.

And, also it's part of my own little sex fantasies that pop into my head when I'm on the train in the morning, at work, at a party. Even back when I was at school it was one of those wonderful daydreams to pass away time in algebra class.

I remember this one time when I was in my last year of high school. I had a very serious boyfriend at the time, so I wasn't much of a fooling around type of girl. One day, in the last few weeks of school, right in the middle of class, one of my male friends asked me if I would consider going out to the parking lot with him and having sex in his car instead of going to our next class. These days I find the idea exceptionally exciting, but politely declined out of respect for the boyfriend I had at the time.

I’ve done the outdoor sex, which many people consider to be public sex. But getting it on in my backyard, when I know the risk of being caught is almost none, isn’t really part of that fantasy. It is a great way to liven up the sex life and get it out of the bedroom, but there is a bigger edge to be found out there.

As I have grown older, and had more experience in life, these fantasies have created a bit of a “bucket list” of public places I would think it would be amazing to have sex. Some of them might seem pretty cliché, but keep in mind, there is still a healthy dose of erotic romantic in me.

Eiffel Tower, Paris

For me this is the symbol of romance and adventure. The world wonder is a Mecca for couples in love. And having my man slowly lift my hem and slip into me atop this tower would be marvelous.

Great Barrier Reef, Australia

Getting it on Down Under … whether on a boat, or hiking up the fear factor in the water among the great whites.

Private box, Royal Albert Hall

No doubt many are screaming sacrilege over this one … and maybe not full-on sex, but I’d be game for some serious oral action here while others are enraptured by the show on the stage.

Hedonism, Jamaica

I mentioned it before … and maybe this is a closer to reality option than, say, giving a blow job at the Royal Albert. Exploring a bigger dimension to our sexual adventure, crossing from voyeur to participant in a new lifestyle.

The office
Another closer-to-reality thought … very film noir, the trench coat, stiletto heels, seamed black stockings and garter belt while my man takes me on his desk with his co-workers just outside the office door. I emerge from his office with the moisture of our passion between my legs, and they watch how my walk has changed

A glass elevator

With my hands pressed against it, looking down on the crowd as more than the elevator is going up!

Masquerade Ball

A tawdry return to Renaissance romance, the mystery of a mask, the passion of the dance … lift my crinoline in the corner shadows for a more intimate waltz. I even have the dress ready for the party!

The Tide Pools, Canary Islands

My From Here to Eternity moment, with the warm surf lapping at my naked flesh while I make love with a hot guy under the setting sun.

Playboy Mansion … or in this pool high above the Vegas skyline while other sexy couples party around us.
The Mansion – invite-only, but anyone who does nude photography would dream of the chance to slip into the Grotto. If anyone knows Hugh personally, feel free to slip this MILF's phone number into his pajama pocket.

But since I currently have no invitation in hand, how about in the Playboy suite at the Palms in Las Vegas.

How many of these I will ever get to see move from fantasy to reality I can't say right now ... even something as simple as the Playboy suite comes with a $40,000 per night price tag! But more important than making the list come true is recognizing that it is perfectly normal to have sexual fantasies. They keep the spark alive in me, and who knows - I like to live by the "never say never" mantra.

How about you guys? Have you ever fantasized about having sex in public?

Andee     xoxo

Drive Me | Sex On Wheels

A nice weekday off for me today, so here I am sitting in my bathrobe with a towel on my head, writing “y'all” about my chat this morning with an online friend. I know, hardly the glamorous look you had in mind. Such is the life of a closet porn star, according to my husband!

Anyway, my ever-inquisitive friend and I were discussing a recent survey that suggested the car is North American’s second favourite place to have sex – with the bedroom as No. 1. I think this includes the steamy-windows, back row at the drive-in movies and the secluded “Inspiration Point”, but he was suggesting it may also include sex while the car was in motion.

So, it came to be (I know, bad pun) had I ever had sex while driving?

I can say, not the whole act ... and I was not the driver.

I had read somewhere about this girl who gave her boyfriend a blowjob while they were driving somewhere, so I decided to give it a try. The idea of it was extremely erotic, and I like to explore when the mood hits. So, there we were, driving along a back road and I began to tease him, then unzipped his jeans to begin the fun. To be honest, it's a very awkward position … even without the seat belt. Safety first, you know! ;-)

And although we did have quite a bit of fun with it at the time, it's definitely not a regular occasion for us...not yet anyway.

That said, a much better experience for me is when I drive him crazy by playing with myself until I cum while he is driving. It's something that I have done on a number of occasions. The first time I did that was long before we were married. We were coming home from an office dinner party and I was wearing this cute little dress, so it was pretty easy access. I had been drinking a fair bit, so I was feeling pretty adventurous and damn horny. Earlier in the evening my guy had dared me to go to the bathroom and slip off my panties. I did, and then slipped them into his jacket pocket while I whispered some dirty talk into his ear. They never made it back onto me and I managed to get him to agree to leave earlier than most everyone else. I had plans.

As we were driving home, he was joking about those guys who hang garters they get at weddings and such on the mirror, so he slipped my cute little white panties onto the rear view and away we went. He was teasing me with his hand as we drove along and in no time I was incredibly turned on, so after a bit more of this, I put my feet on the dashboard and went to work on my own.

We eventually had to stop the car for a little more activity though! It is equally difficult for the guy to keep up any kind of manual pleasure on a female passenger for a long time while he is trying to drive.

Thinking back on it now, I might just have to talk him into taking me for a little country drive this weekend!

Andee    xoxo

Fantasies | More Than A Private Dancer

I sure hope everyone had an awesome weekend. I've had my head buried in school books, so getting a chance to get my blog rolling on time has been a bit of a challenge.

I've also been asking if there's anything my readers would like me to write about, or touch on in my updates. I've been plugging away with my own perversions and thoughts so much, I haven't really paused to ask "What are you interested in?" Please leave me a note, comment or drop me an e-mail. I would like to keep building this blog with you in mind.

Back a few years ago, when I had a blog on a different site, this entry proved to be one of the most talked about at the time. In fact, my husband and a couple of my friends still mention it every now and then. I really enjoyed reading it again, and it certainly brought some definite ideas back to mind.

You say you're an exhibitionist. What is the craziest public display you would like to do if you knew you could get away with it?

I would try stripping on amateur night. Back at that time my husband had taken me to a strip club that featured women dancers for the first time. It was a real eye-opener, and really got me thinking. Things like nude beaches, clubs, etc., they’re a lot of fun, but the idea of being up on stage, in front of a crowd like that really gets me thinking. The club we went to has an amateur night, and from what I hear, is quite the party. It’s in a university town nearby, and all the talk is of girls from the school letting loose and trying to win some money. I’m not too sure, because it sounds so much like an urban myth, but it would be wild to try.

Sadly, my own insecurities and possible loss of employment don’t allow for me to really give it a try. If anyone found out, I think my employer would pretty much show me the door. As I have mentioned a few times, I work in a pretty conservative field, and it just wouldn’t be very good.

On top of that, I think I would like to lose 15 lbs before I even consider it. I’m not as “buff” as I was back a few years ago. I would definitely need to get in shape. I think my husband suspects, because he bought me the Carmen Electra Stripaerobics tapes for Christmas. I’ll know when I see the flyers for the strip club on the table ;~)

I also have to wonder about whether or not men would want to see a 36-year-old mother of two up on stage. I love the esteem boost that I get from all your messages on here and my social networking sites, but what I think in my own head as to what men would think of me might be a little more complimentary than the reality.

So I'm sticking to my comment about being more comfortable in my own skin before letting it loose on stage!

But then again...I certainly found my visit to a strip club quite thrilling too ;~)

UPDATE: For all of you who have been following my 30 Favourites in 30 Days, slip on over to my Twitter site to see how it all finished up. I'm now looking for some new ideas ... feel free to let me know what you might like to see!

Andee     xoxo

Dating | 15 Ideas For Going Out With Me

Well, that was interesting. You know, I was really self-conscious about cutting all my hair off for this style. I was really worried about how it would look - and given how I know a lot of you guys like long hair on a woman. But I have been surprisingly surprised with the reactions.

And some have come from some very unusual sources. I got asked out on a date yesterday by someone at work. First I thought he was kidding around, then I clued in that this guy was very sincere about it. I think I was too shocked to be flattered or confused. This hasn’t happened in a very long time - especially because it wasn’t my husband that asked.

I can understand how this guy came to the point where he “popped the question.” For a number of shifts in my department, we are not allowed the wear any jewellery, so the obvious clue of my wedding bands is not always there.

Anyway … I had to say no. But it gave me something to take home and prompt the man at my house to take notice. So, for those of you out there that may want to take notice and need some good suggestions, here’s a little something I “borrowed” from one of my favourite trashy women’s magazines:

Andee’s Borrowed Dates

With great woman on your arm and a desire to be adventurous, there's no excuse for you not to go on a date. Here’s 15 ideas for memorable dates for any time of year that won't set you back more than $20 - spiced with my own take on them … and there’s not one that wouldn’t get you at least one step closer to my bedroom!

1. Find the best happy hour in town. Look through your newspaper or search online for local restaurants and bars with happy hours. Most places offer half-price food and drink specials, allowing you to get two drinks and share an appetizer for less than $20. Two drinks is enough to loosen up …
2. Go to a museum. Most museums either have free admission or offer free entry on certain days of the month. History is erotic, education is sexy. Show me you know something other than who won the 1974 Stanley Cup.
3. Visit your local zoo. Most zoos offer adult tickets for less than $10. Pack your own snacks and bottled water and have a mini picnic while you're there. And suck it up and hit all the really cute animals, because she’ll feel all cuddly after seeing a baby leopard.
4. If you’re not buried under a mountain of snow like Andee right now, go on a romantic hike. Bring a backpack and surprise your partner with a bottle of champagne, glasses and fresh strawberries. And if you find yourself alone in the forest with you date, remember: bears do more than just s#!t in the woods.
5. Go swimming at your local pool, lake or beach. Bring some water toys and have more fun than the kids. Laugh it up; because laughing is a significant aphrodisiac for women.
6. In the summer, beat the heat with an ice cream date. Take two scoops to the park, or take a walk downtown and go people watching. Voyeurism is very erotic.
7. Plan a cheap picnic. Go on a picnic at the beach, mountains or in your own backyard. Grab a blanket, pack a deli sandwich and a bottle of $5 wine. You might be surprised how much just a conversation can be a turn-on for a woman.
8. Take a blanket to the beach. Split your budget between a bottle of wine and cheese, then enjoy the sunset while you snuggle on a blanket. If it’s secluded enough, a late night swim might be in the cards … even better if you ‘forgot’ the swim suits.
9. Stroll through a botanical garden. Spend the day walking hand in hand through rose gardens and tropical rainforests, for less than $10 a ticket. Stop and smell the roses with her … literally and figuratively.
10. Be a kid again. Go bowling, play miniature golf, ride go-carts or play laser tag. I recently learned real golf … and if she’s game, that’s four hours in the great outdoors with lots of potential for lost balls!
11. Build a bonfire. All you need is some firewood, snacks and a drink of your choice. This is also a great opportunity to make 'smores. And that sticky goodness can be fun to lick off her fingers ;-)
12. Rent something. Go roller- or ice-skating, rent a two-seater bike and pedal through the park, or paddle a boat on a pond.
13. Go wine tasting. Most wineries charge around $5 for a tasting of five different wines - plus, you'll get to keep the glass as a souvenir of your date. Just be sincere with your intentions as you get her drunk!
14. Take a scenic drive. Pull over to have coffee and dessert at a nice cafe. Go parking somewhere and make-out like teenagers in the back seat. Sometime it leads to even better fun in the outdoors!
15. Rack 'em up at your local pool joint. With pool games costing just a few bucks, you might even have money left over to share a pitcher of beer. I love to shoot pool, especially if I’m wearing a sexy pair of boots and a favourite date-night skirt! I might even let you slide in behind me to show me that trick shot ;-)

There you go guys … borrowed dates Andee style. Go out, have fun, get some. Life should be all about that and not the stress we deal with 9-5.

Andee   xoxo

The Other Part Of My New Friend

OK ... well, a couples days later, a slew of batteries, and Andee walking a lot like the Lone Ranger getting off Trigger after a long ride, I'm finally settling in the write the last part of all the naughtiness I started last week. When I wrote last, I was telling you about sitting in the hot tub, on the lap of Lisa's husband and the surprises that came with it...

I have to admit, it was a very confusing moment emotionally. Not that psychological confusion, but more that sexual argument you sometimes have in your own mind. I was incredibly turned on, and seriously having a conscious debate with myself over the issue between my legs. Here was this guy with an incredible hard-on pressed against my very horny pussy. I could have quite easily allowed him to slip into me and no one except he and I would have ever known otherwise.

Day 5 - Panties Around My Ankles

The past few days I have been struggling with the thoughts of was this a missed opportunity? With things they way they went, was there an open door that I should have taken? I guess I won't really know. Then I begin to wonder the same about my own husband and Lisa ... was the situation the same emotional conflict?

I'm still trying to discover if I have the bravery to ask ... but I guess that's all done now anyway ;-)

Sometimes blogging is just the greatest way to have a talk with your spouse ... in a cryptic kind of fashion!

Anyway, we continued to make out and get into some serious kissing while I was sitting in his lap. Sometime into a very deep kiss I felt Lisa's hand on my nether regions ... she was running her hand across my butt and slowly, with each rub, towards my pussy. Then she found her husband's rock hard cock and pulled it kind of back, so that he wasn't sliding along my pussy so much anymore. She stroked him up and down - which was an incredible sensation for me ... so close to my own heat that I was left wondering/wanting her to guide him elsewhere. After a bit, she left him alone and - all the while still kissing my husband - she moved her fingers towards my pussy and began to tease me again. This carried on for a few minutes.

I wonder now if she was trying, in a deliciously devious way to see if her husband had entered me or not ...

Ultimately, I think all of us had reached the point where the teasing had to stop ... Lisa and I switched again so that we were back with our own husbands. When I slipped onto my own husband's lap, I guided things to where they should be ... I can't say if it was the same for our friends, I was way too absorbed in actually getting some after this outrageous torture.

After we managed to reach the proper end to that, I slipped off of his lap so that I was between him and Lisa and her husband. Lisa and I picked up where we had left off, with the kissing and fondling, and I do have to say, I think I have more questions now than ever before.

But one thing I am certain of ... recession or not, buy stocks in Duracell. My purchases alone will keep them in business for quite a while!

Andee

xoxo

Infidelity | Was It Ever That Close?

So it seems my post on fidelity raised some eyebrows and questions. A few of maybe had to think about as hard as me on that, and there's nothing wrong with asking the question. One of my readers sent me this question on whether or not I had ever cheated on my husband the last time we were on here. He also asked if my hubby had cheated on me, and whether or not we could find forgiveness in the situation.

Well, I thought and thought and thought, and took the time to discuss a couple of situations I found myself in before we got married. Now, the thing to say is that since my wedding day, the only fooling around that has happened in my life has been with either approval (and no sex) or with a very close girlfriend.

Day 3 - We don't cheat, we share!

The only real incident of "potential cheating" was at the very same conference I tried to fool around with my girlfriend. In a very twisted kind of way, my husband and I don't see that as cheating. I know that a lot of you would disagree, but in our relationship together, we're quite OK with the idea of experimenting in bi-curiousity. Although, that's pretty one-sided as he has no interest in it from his end. But, he openly admits, the idea of me trying it is a real turn-on, typical guy fantasy thing.

Anyway, while I said before that she and I were definitely into each other, there was this guy there who was also very much into both of us. While we were at the evening party, and after several drinks, the three of us were enjoying a little fondling, dirty dancing and outright flirting. It started out relatively innocently, but after quite a bit more drinking, flirting and general suggestive talking, he asked me to dance to something a little slower. On the dance floor, he and I were getting really into each other, kind of forgetting that this was supposed to be a 'business" event. Well, we were certainly "networking." He was feeling me up a bit, running his hand along my ass, and then up my side, brushing his thumb across my breast a little. After a few minutes of this we started kissing.

Normally I would not have been so "loose" but watching him also being the same way with my friend really got my competitive side going. He had me extremely turned on while we danced together and ready for a little further experimentation (keep in mind, this was three of us) ... until his less than impressed "date" showed up. Put a quick damper on that.

When I got home at the end of the conference, I told my husband everything - about my naughty behaviour with my girlfriend. It took a while (think weeks) to build up the courage to share the rest of the tale with him. But when I did, he was understanding, and actually quite turned on by the whole thing. He admitted to believing there was something more than I hadn't told him.

This kind of thing is not something I'm looking to experience again. Heat of the moment stuff can be a little dangerous if you let your emotions (and sobriety) get out of control.

The one time I do know about with my husband came from a time when things in our relationship looked a little dark. We were living in a very small town with very small minds. During a bit of a rowdy party for his softball team, he got a little too close to one of the girls there. Again, as it always seems to be, alcohol was involved. I know nothing other than a bit of making-out happened - same as with me - but sadly at the stage, it took an awful lot more work to move beyond.

These days, our relationship is so much stronger. We worked to build a better level of trust, and now work towards experiencing life's adventures together and challenges the conventions of a "traditional" marriage. I guess that's also why I have to reject all your kind requests for a little kanoodling on the side. Come on guys, someone has to hold the camera! ;-)

Awesome question. This one sure made us do a little soul-searching again.

Andee

xoxo