So, as my followers on Twitter found out today, it was good day to shake off all that sadness and jump right into some naughty fun again. Not so much about the kid of fun we started a couple weeks ago, but my emotional stability is in question when we keep getting so close to going over the edge of my comfort zone. I went back through some of the notes and comments that you guys have sent and shared with me. With so much talk about relationships breaking down among some pretty famous couples, I thought it might be something intriguing for us normal folk to dig into.
What's the most important thing that men don't understand about women that they should?
The toilet seat must ALWAYS be put back down!
OK, so this is a bit of a tough one, but get your boots on because I’m going to go deep to answer this. Drawing on my own experience, the one most important thing that I can think of is that men should always be considerate of their significant other. Making a woman feel that she is the most important person in your life is a key to a really solid relationship. I have never felt that I came second in my marriage, nor have I felt that I have ever needed to babysit or keep an eye on my husband, fearful that he might “stray.”
It might help that we tend to have a much more open and intriguing lifestyle behind the closed doors of our bedroom, but you don’t have to install hidden sex swing hooks or have a sex toy safe just to build a solid relationship.
Plus, as you have seen of late … we tend to really look at ways to keep the excitement in our relationship. I guess, anyway … some of these crazy concepts leave me wondering, but there’s never a dull day! That said, what these games do – beside create some very sexually-charged moments – is, under the surface, focus on the strength of the trust we share in our marriage. That is partnered with a willingness to be open-minded about the other person, and recognize that we each have our own passions, desires and fantasies.
A lot of men seem to think that women are solely motivated by the material things in life, and that we can be easily bought with gifts in the event of trouble. OK, while that helps, it does little to secure that lasting trust that is necessary in a couple’s life together. I know too many couples where the guy gets to do his own thing all the time and thinks that she should just deal with it, or he tries to buy his way out of the doghouse. I also get offended by women that fall for it.
The answer seems to be just far too obvious: consideration.
Size Her Up
And another mistake that you guys make is assuming we will slip on those sexy knickers anytime you are in the mood.
Here’s a little perspective: as you have seen over the past few months, my husband is almost crazy about showing me off. He gives me the chance to flirt with other people, have sexual ideas, even sees the lust and excitement in how other guys I have never met in person send me lingerie to wear. Sure, he gets the benefits, and I’m ok in saying that without his kinky outlook a lot of this would never happen.
But then when it all goes right, and I know in my heart there is trust between us – my goodness, what a turn on to be able to be myself, to flirt and carry on without having to hide things in fear of his reactions.
And while I can’t say your relationship can follow the same path, here’s a hint - if you are going to buy your significant other clothes to show her off, or get her to dress up, or slip on some sexy red teddy just for you, take the time to go through her drawers and closet to find out what size she wears. Don't guess! It's insulting to get clothing that is way too big; and if it's way too small, we think you really don't understand us and our issues with our bodies.
We are impressed to think that you pay that close attention to our bodies when you get us something that really fits nicely. My husband knows my sizes way better than I do. I can't remember the last time I went shopping for clothes (other than the scrubs that I have to wear on an almost daily basis) without some very specific instructions. My idea of sexy might be something completely different than his, so I say if you want me to look and dress that way - you get to do the shopping! Fortunately, he loves fashion and style ... and knows that despite the games and innuendo, I still have a job to do responsibly.
My husband says some guys need to get over their attitude about going into women's stores: they're full of women (OK, he says hot sales clerks), all picking out dainty little thongs and stuff. And any time the guys on his beer league hockey start in about their wives, he says he just sits there quietly smiling to himself … remembering that miniskirt he made me wear to work or something like it.
Yeah, I won’t complain …
But seriously guys …what happened to all the fun sex questions? This one made my brain hurt.
Andee xoxo
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