TMI Tuesday | Playing With Myself

So, today marks the start of another new 'journey' for me. I am now officially in my 40th year, which means I have an awful lot of ground to cover in the next 365 days so that I can hit my 40th birthday looking all that much more sexually confident, physically fit and smashingly glamourous.

And, that also means that I may actually have a bit of a renewed ambition when it comes to making certain desires, wants and fantasies come to life. Or at least writing all about them!

And now, on to all that information that you just can't get enough of every TMI Tuesday ...

1. My favorite place to masturbate is _____ ?
Yeah, not as kinky as you might believe, but my favourite place to masturbate is in my own bed. That way, when all is said an done and my heart is done racing from the sexual build-up and release, I love to curl up and fall asleep. Masturbating is an amazing way for me to relax before bedtime - and helps take my mind away from the stresses of the day.

2. Have you ever masturbated in public? What were the circumstances?
Not sure; my answer is a bit of a 'sort of.' I wrote about it before: it was a couple years ago and my husband and I were on our way home from one of those sex trade shows in the city. We were downtown and the traffic was crazy. I had already slipped off my panties back at the convention centre and figured since we were going to be sitting in the car for a bit that I would give my new sex toy a little test drive of it's own. I simply pulled up the hem of my skirt, positioned myself accordingly and let the brand new batteries take me to euphoria of a roadgasm - plus give my hubby and amazing tease and scene.

It was equally erotic as people were walking past on the sidewalks only a couple feet away from our vehicle. I remember that was one amazing orgasm ... the sensation of a new toy mixed with the excitement of being in a crowded space.

3. Do you like mutual masturbation? Why?
Yes and no, but for all really good reasons. I love it because there is something very erotic for me in watching and being there while someone is pleasuring themselves. And sharing that moment with someone has an erotic sense of vulnerability. It's opening yourself up to a very different sexual experience.

No, because it's rare that I can allow myself to wait it out. Mutual moments like that generally end up in full-out sex ... not that full-out sex is a bad thing; it just means an end to the masturbation portion of the evening. There are lots of occasions when masturbation becomes a conclusion for me, as well. I'm one of those women that does need a little extra help to reach orgasm.

4. When was the last time you masturbated?
I'm writing my answers on Monday night as we wait for the Leafs-Bruins hockey game to start ... I masturbated on Monday morning shortly after shooting some new photos for my website - 'cause a girl can get rather turned-on posing in new lingerie that a friend sent for her to wear; all that touching my breasts and playing with my pussy while my husband snaps photos. Yep, I think I might masturbate again tonight.

5. Have you ever masturbated on camera?
Yes ... for both recorded video and on webcam. I still make new recorded videos every now and then for purposes other than just adding a bit of kink to my sex life. I mean, why keep the fun all to myself, and since I have received a few requests along the way from guys who want to watch ...

6. Do you like to watch people masturbate?
Call me kinky, but I love watching another person pleasuring themselves. I have had the wonderful opportunity to watch a couple men do that in front of me in person - and good lord, it's a massive turn-on for me. I would love to have the same opportunity with another woman. I have watched on camera and amateur videos, but not while I was right there just a couple feet away as she brought herself to orgasm. Now that would be yummy ...

BONUS: Have you filmed yourself masturbating? Care to share that film via a link?
Take your pick ... follow the video button and you can find several different videos of me masturbating, and a couple in which someone else does all the work on me!

Andee     xoxo

My Growing Interest In Lingerie

Over the past couple years I have developed a taste for nice lingerie; partly due to my evolving tastes in what I personally think is sexy, and partly due to the reaction it produces at home, at work and within myself. To say that looking sexy and feeling sexy is not an ego boost would just be misleading. As a woman ages, she needs even more reassurance that she still has the feminine ability to attract men.

And even though we have great sources for lingerie these days – places like Fredericks of Hollywood and Victoria's Secret – I think a lot of women have given up on the “old-fashioned idea” of sexy. It doesn’t help that pop culture has turned overtly slutty into the modern ideal of socially-acceptable sexy, but as long as size 0 models with size 0 IQs continue to flaunt it as fashion, well, we’ll just never get more women into the idea.

Lingerie has been reduced to seemingly only involve matching bras and panties these days. Of course, the traditional two-piece ensemble are an amazing part of any girl’s trousseau, but I can’t help wonder if there are other younger women out there that have a daily interest in sexy lingerie beyond just two pieces. And by that I mean, lingerie for the sake of personal interest, not as stage clothes and photographic wardrobe.

Without question, the modern idea for many lingerie enthusiasts remains steadfast in its connection to naughty Santa's helpers and Valentine's Day attire. But what about discovering the sexiness of wearing lingerie on an every day basis?

Yesterday, one of my newest pieces of lingerie made its debut on my website; and from all accounts so far, was well-received. I know it sure as hell was well-received at home – and I have every intention of seeing exactly how it might work for me at my work.

I think the idea of lingerie for something beyond posing for a camera is finding the balance between "feeling sexy" and "made for sex" ... because there is a very distinct difference. I can wear the feeling sexy lingerie all the time - including when sex is on the agenda, but I'm not sure I can wear the made for sex lingerie under a sexy dress for a day at the office.

In a way, my hobby has been a key determining factor in my desire for sexier underthings. I’m blessed with a husband who recognizes the need to keep my drawers filled with naughty lace things, and have developed a few friends with guys who enjoy seeing me in items they have bought for me as well. Of course, it’s hard not to have fun when those things combine all for my benefit.

Andee     xoxo

Sex | The Unexpected Moments

There is something to be said about still being able to be surprised sexually at this stage in my life. It's not that I have a wealth of experience compared to some of the people I read about online, but knowing what a lot of the people in my offline life think, I've done a lot. And while I know there are so many things yet to be discovered, and many things that I would love to do all over again, what really gets me going are the spontaneous sex acts that still pop up every now and then.

To me, there is something really erotic about a sexual moment that is completely unplanned.

With that in mind, when this question popped up a while back, I thought it would make for an intriguing Formspring Friday update.

What was the most unexpected sexual experience you've ever had?

There's a few spontaneous quickies that easily come to mind, but the biggest unexpected sexual event in my life has to be the time when my husband and I literally could not wait to get home to get busy and we ended up parking on the side of a quiet dirt road and having sex in the cornfield.

Sure, it may not rate as wild and crazy as going at it on the elevator ride to the top of the Eiffel Tower, or having my skirt lifted from behind in the middle of a concert while the crowd rocked out to some hair metal. But for me it marks the real beginning of my sexual adventure ... the point in time when all the pillow talk and heat-of-the-moment fantasies turned into reality.

I've blogged about it before, but as a refresher ...

We had made all the plans to visit a lifestyle club after doing some research and careful planning. The night turned out to be quite hot - including me dancing topless in a crowd of people. That was a huge leap for me in my discovery. After having the time of our life at the club, we headed towards home. It was in the car when we realized just how horny we both were - now away from the music and crowd and able to talk about things. I was so turned on that it didn't take much for me to lift up the hem of my tiny dress and proceed to masturbate myself to two quick orgasms.

It was more than my poor husband could take ... he found a remote side road, backed our car into a field lane and then proceeded to drill me hard from behind. I left the handprints on the back windshield for weeks as a reminder of our naughtiness.

Sure, not as crazy as a lot of other people's experiences, but for me at that point of time in my life and marriage, this was a huge step towards a whole new level of intimacy in my relationship with my husband and myself. I learned so much about myself during that experience - which is what made it that much more unexpected.

On a more strictly-sexual level, the most recent unexpected moment came this summer following a coworker's stag and doe party. My husband had been toying with me all day about wearing a sexy little skirt and going commando. Knowing this was a party where people I worked with would be, I was reluctant to fulfill his wish outright. Close to the end of the evening, I slipped into the ladies room, removed the tiny panties I had been wearing and upon returning to our table, slipped them into his pocket.

In the elevator ride down to the parking lot, we enjoyed a very passionate kiss and quick fondle. I was expecting a bit of a playful ride home - much like the earlier description of me masturbating in the front seat as we cruised along. As we got to our truck, my husband pulled me along to the back and picked up on the kissing. As he did, he slid his hand under my skirt and began to play with my wet pussy.

Then, unexpectedly, he dropped to his knees, hiked up my skirt and proceeded to lick me thoroughly. After several minutes, he stood up and kissed me deeply so I could get a very delicious taste of me on him. Just as I figured I was going to get another good pounding from behind, the interior light from a car parked a few down from us came on. I'm not sure how long - or even if he was - sitting in the driver's seat, but part of me still gets a little excited by the idea that we may have given him a great late night show.

Once we got home, I led my date down the side of the house and then gave him a blowjob as a little extra something to end the night.

Andee     xoxo

A New Twist On My Panty Strategy

Earlier this week on Twitter I made a promise that one of the days I would have a little bit of fun and head to work “commando.” It was something that, once again, came from my brilliant ability to pick the winning side of some bets. I’m still not going to disclose exactly what day that will be, other than to point out that other than today, there are only two work days left. Naturally that will give everyone a bit of time to use their imagination and ponder the prospects … but when you get right down to it, we’re all naked under our clothes!

When I posted that silly little comment on Twitter, one of my followers sent me a question on the subject of crotchless panties, and if they were something that I wore. And since I have very little shame over where ideas come from that I can turn into something for everyone to read, I thought, “hey, I should blog about that!”

The easy answer is to the question is: no.

The long answer is much more intriguing for you, I’m sure. After all, you guys really seem to enjoy the ideas around my panties and the thought that goes into my personal panty strategy. (Just so you know, as I am writing this, I'm wearing a comfortable red pair with a lace waistband.)

I guess, other than for some visual fun, and maybe a photo update or two on my website, I can’t really grasp the purpose in having crotchless panties. From a woman’s perspective, they are not practical for a big part of the reason why we wear panties in the first place. From a style perspective, I’m not sure why I would go to the trouble of trying to convince you guys that I was wearing panties when it is way more entertaining to mess with your minds as you try to figure out if I am actually wearing any. I guess unlike some women, I don’t mind if you want to stare just a little bit longer as I walk by, knowing full well you are looking to see if there are any visible panty lines.

But I will also be honest with you; I invest a great deal of thought into what I slip into most days. Having sexy panties and bras are one of my true vices, and I feel that much sexier when I know that what is under my clothes is something you would enjoy seeing. Now, having said that, don’t assume that I am also one of those women that go around making sure there’s enough visibility hanging out for you to see. No, I prefer that you work it out in your mind, or at least hurt your neck trying to sneak a peek up my skirt or down my top.

Occasionally, if you’ve been good, I might relent just a little and uncross my legs slowly enough to tease, or sit at a precarious angle that does not allow my hem to hide my traditional aura of mystique.

Back to the crotchless idea though … I suppose one of the benefits might be the access they promise. Perhaps they are more useful in the situation when I am wearing a garter belt? I haven’t tried, but let me assure you that, in spite of the sexual heat stockings and garters can bring to the day, they do pose some logistical challenges when nature calls … or when you might want to slip into that certain secret spot and allow for some better access to all the sensitive parts with greater ease. It’s not always the most comfortable situation to have things yanked to the side, if you know what I mean.

Anyway, those are my thoughts. I would love to hear from anyone that has some better insight to offer … because who knows, I might be willing to give them a try too!

Andee     xoxo

Flirting | A Sexy Birthday Gift

I wasn’t intending to turn this into a blog, but after a few requests for more information, I figured it made sense – plus a chance to revisit the whole experience in my mind again. I almost think I should have made this more of a Fantasy Friday, given how long it is; but let’s call it a Short-Week Sexcapade instead.

If you happen to be one of my followers on Twitter, you’ll know that Tuesday was another one of those “fun” days for me; “fun” meaning when things get a little hot as opposed to the Family Channel kind of fun. As usual, my tweets were sometimes a little cryptic, sometimes directed at specific individuals, and I tried to answer as many of your tweets along the way.

In my little game here, I have pretty clear rules when it comes to what happens at work and keeping it all hot and exciting by sharing those events through Twitter. It’s something that my husband thought up, and so you all get to be included in the adventure as well. It has also become an easy and anonymous way for some of my real-life friends to connect with the naughty side of me.

Anyway, it had been a long weekend here, and returning to work on Tuesday coincided with a certain Office Guy’s birthday. As a good friend I had been thinking what I should get for him. I couldn’t give him something practical because our relationship, with all its kinks and quirks, is not something he shares with anyone – especially his wife. I also had reservations about some of the suggestions that came from my own spouse. He tends to be a bit braver on my behalf than I really am.

I knew my day would be interesting when I noticed a couple of items my husband set out for me. I had already planned to dress up a little – but he often finds ways to add a certain “element” to that. This time I found my new hot pink bra and panties and black back-seam thigh highs that I had purchased on my birthday date set out with my dress. I guess I knew they would make an appearance at some point …

By the time I was ready to head out and catch the train, I was feeling pretty good about myself. When I know the man I have at home is drooling over how I look, it helps go a long way. After all, despite my flirtatious ways with my friend, my husband is the man I am trying to seduce at the end of the day.

The second big boost came shortly after I settled into my usual spot on the morning train, when my still-anonymous Cute Guy arrived on the scene, and happened to notice me (yes!!!!) and flash me that “I so want to kiss you” smile. OK, maybe my imagination embellishes that a little, but you know me.

The first inclination of how my workday might play out came at our morning coffee break. I had casually stopped by my Office Guy’s office at the end of my first round, just to say Happy Birthday and see how his day was going. As is his usual habit, he made a nice compliment about how I looked. I turned slightly and let him see that my hosiery had a seam that ran up the back of my leg. He asked if it went “all the way up” … and so I slipped inside the door, so not to be seen, and hiked up my dress so he could see that I was wearing thigh highs. I said “only that high up” and smiled and off I went to enjoy my break with a few of my friends from my department.

Later that morning, I happened to see him in the hall. We stopped and chatted as we usually do, and then he leaned in an whispered in my ear about how much he liked the little peek I had given him earlier … and described the reaction it had on him. I answered back that if he liked the preview, he would enjoy his gift later.

Lunch was my next opportunity to stoke the fire more. We have managed to continually – and seemingly without drawing attention – sit directly across from each other at these events. It’s perfect, in that, we don’t give away our naughty secret but we still have adequate chances to tease, torment and torture each other. For example, my Office Guy has a thing for: a) hosiery, b) feet and c) foot jobs. I know this from experience and conversation.

Tuesday was no different. While everyone was foolishly asking about work, complaining about this, that and the other thing, I was removing my shoe and then sliding my foot up the inside of his leg. As he shuffled his chair into the table – as if to lean in closer to our coworkers’ conversation – I was able to gently stroke his growing erection with my toes. However, too much of this can be torturous, so I didn’t continue for a long period of time … just enough to remind him of how much fun we can have.

Lunch continued with the usual amount of collective banter and general birthday chatter until it was time to head back and actually earn our keep.

I’m sure many of you must think that my workplace must be something like Grey’s Anatomy; but it’s not, really. It’s much worse. Actually, while you enjoy all the crazy ideas that go on in my mind, half the time I am tweeting some of the nonsense while running off to make a delivery to one of the floors, or standing in the elevator, the line-up in the coffee shop … you get the idea. Naughty multi-tasking blended with mortgage-paying labour.

Throughout the day I had been posting cryptic messages, hints, etc. for my Office Guy to read – and as designed, for my own hubby to keep up on the antics. I honestly don’t know if my friend’s hand was on his Blackberry or in his pants more often … I just wanted his imagination to be duly distracted throughout the day.

By mid-afternoon, it was getting to the point where all the naughtiness had to meet up with some action.

When I actually visit my Office Guy on non-work-related matters, I have to time my trip carefully. Raising the suspicion of some of the others in his area could be a bad thing for all parties concerned. So, when the moment arrived, I slipped into his office and quietly closed the door behind me. I think he was a touch surprised at first, because I get the sense he was honestly expecting an actual gift-wrapped package … and my hands were empty. I asked him if he was ready for his gift and he got that look on his face that is a cross between shit-eating grin and abject fear. When he said he was, I asked him to arrange his chair so that I could stand in front of him.

I placed my hands on his shoulders and leaned in. I whispered into his ear that I had thought long and hard about what the perfect gift might be. I teased him with the suggestions that my husband has shared with me that morning. Then I said if he followed the seams of my stockings all the way to the top, he would find his gift.

My Office Guy slowly made his way up the backs of my legs and under the hem of my dress. The sensation of his hands on me again, touching me in such a sexual way, sent a wave of lusty electricity through my body. I was already incredibly turned on, and this pushed me closer to the edge of surrender.

When he got to my little lacy thong, his hands gently continued across the flesh of my ass, tracing the little whisp of lace. I asked him to take my panties off of me. I have to admit, it was a very unusual sensation to have another man removing my panties in this fashion – erotic and naughty. They were soaked from me being so turned on.

I stepped out of them, and whispered to him they were his to keep as a fond memory of his birthday. He understands there are reasons why other suggestions can not materialize at this moment, without us having to say. But it is hard to ignore the intense heat that rises between us.

I couldn’t leave it at just that. This was the man who had brought me to orgasm in a hotel room less than a kilometre away from where we were now. And I needed a little something to satisfy my own urges.

I took his hand and raised it to my mouth, and sucked on his finger like I had done to his cock during our interlude only a couple months ago, and then surprising myself with more bravery than expected, guided him under the hem of my dress and to the wetness between my legs.

I allowed my Office Guy to explore me with his long fingers for a few minutes. Then, without saying much more, I took back his hand and sucked on his now wet fingers. Before leaving his office –as time is tight and we do have actual jobs to do, I gave him a deep kiss.

Later that night, after my wicked husband had me pose for some photos in my outfit from the day, I finally managed to get the much needed sexual relief – but not before having to describe every minute detail of my afternoon.

Andee     xoxo

Sex Education | What Kids Should Know

A couple weeks ago I tweeted about a little embarrassing situation that happened after my birthday date with my husband. We had spent the afternoon shopping, then off to a romantic dinner followed by a night out at the casino in Niagara Falls. He had planned the whole day as a continuous event – so I had to start by buying some new lingerie to wear that evening, followed by a dress, heels and accessories. Then, since we were not going home, I had to change into my date clothes “on the fly” so to speak.

Of course, this led to some challenges – all of which he knew it would – that saw me trying to change from my original dress into all of my new items, including the new bra and panties I had just purchased an hour earlier.

In order to accomplish all of this, I slipped into the back seat of our SUV and began to sort out exactly how I was to strip down to nothing but my wedding rings and into a whole new outfit. Fortunately I am still limber and creative enough for some back seat aerobics. Although, I’m pretty sure there were some people in the city bus that pulled up beside us at one point got a very interesting late afternoon display.

Dates with my husband are rarely boring or traditional.

I thought nothing of it as we continued throughout our plans and had a marvelous time, with some exceptionally intriguing and enlightening conversation – mostly around the subject of sex and fantasies.

The following day was much more “family-oriented” as my kids took me out for a birthday breakfast. On the way there, my youngest son passed over a pair of my thigh highs from the back seat – which I had obviously forgotten to put back into my travel bag during the previous day’s romp.

Anyway, I tweeted about the humourous little gaff, and my Twitter friend Paul asked how I explained the discovery to my son. I simply said that I am one of those Moms that is straight up with my children when it comes to subjects like dating, marriage and sex. I believe in being honest with them with they have important life questions, but I also believe in explaining it in a way that won’t leave them needing therapy later on.

And, as I explained that to Paul, he suggested I should write about why children should have a healthy perspective on sex and relationships.

I need to preface a lot of this with the fact that my children have a very traditional understanding of sex and marriage. There are several things that they do not know about, and I’m not sure I will ever be the one to explain it. For example, my website … and that my hubby and I have explored “friends with benefits” … and that Mommy also likes girls … and I have played around with a coworker while my hubby watched. You get the idea.

But even though I do believe in “tempering” what children know about sex and relationships, I do believe it is vitally important that they understand some aspects are very normal and healthy. Being secretive about “adult topics” leads children to being confused about their natural curiosities – and may lead them to seek that information from less-than-appropriate sources.

Sex should not be viewed as something dark and mysterious (until much later in life!). The challenge is always to explain it in a way that they can relate to; as opposed to be too coy or too scientific. And never with “lies.” Unless you have already planned for therapy sessions.

My husband grew up in a household where “sex” was only ever used as a way to determine if the next family pet was going to be a female or a male. I grew up in a household where my parents were a lot more forthcoming with the facts. But we also had farm animals and, as you can imagine, they were good for an education too.

Using that analogy, I would just rather my own children heard it from the horse’s mouth …

It doesn’t take much for any of us to look around and see where so many relationships are going wrong. And while I can’t always explain to my own children why people we know are going through a divorce, or why they argue about issues such as infidelity, what I can do is highlight the realities as to why my relationship with their father is strong. Part of that is explaining that even though we are parents, we are still lovers.

My kids already have a good idea of what the mechanics of traditional sex are all about … the birds and the bees …

What I hope more than just that is through seeing a level of affection and understanding of intimacy, my kids will recognize that a marriage involves way more than sharing a house and bank account. I like to think that we have accepted our responsibility as role models – because that is what we are – and shown them how a relationship contains mutual respect, consideration, compromise and commitment.

I like that my children get to see how my husband and I express love for each other as a couple. In a world where they see so much anger and hate already, they know that at home the emotions are more about love and caring for each other.

My children are now old enough to understand that when Mom and Dad go out on a date, it doesn’t mean grocery shopping.

So, when my children find a little trail of suggestive lingerie in the back seat of the family vehicle, I have no qualms about turning their youthful curiosity into prepubescent disgust with the knowledge that Mom might be a little tired, but she definitely had a good time!

Andee     xoxo

Sex | Is That Weird ... or What

The past 10 years have been an incredible experience for me – eye-opening at times, lustfully orgasmic at others. Along the way, I have learned an awful lot about what makes people tick sexually. I have had guys share some of their fantasies, fetishes, desires and delights; had cyber-sex (not as exciting as real sex, however); had webcam sex (better than typing it out); even phone sex (never mind honey, a story for another day …).

And through it all, these have been a big part of me coming into my own sexually. It’s not that I wasn’t having a great time anyway, but the experiences added to the spice my husband and I were bringing to our marriage. Part of the adventure, so to speak.

So, when I get into an intriguing chat with some of the guys online, this usually comes up at some point:

What is the most bizarre thing someone has ever asked you to do sexually?

You might think with the things I do share on here that I might have a lengthy list of readily available examples, but what I also hope comes through in this is that I really am just your average girl-next-door. I just happen to enjoy a healthy sex life, and love the distraction and attention that it brings. So, in order to answer the question, I’m going to break this out into a few different angles … just to cover some of the bases. I’m sure a lot you would like to know what has actually gone on in my strange sex antics off line, as well as knowing some of the really odd requests I have been asked by guys on the Internet.

In Private

The hardest part of thinking of something really strange that my husband has asked is that I don’t really consider much of what we do as “strange.” Like many couples, we find ways to ignite the flames of passion, bring a little spice to the relationship and enjoy life together with as much intimacy as we can. Some of the sexual antics that we consider to be a very normal part of our lifestyle may seem rather strange to others.

But marriage is about discovery.

I think, when I consider the relationships of people around me, perhaps some of the oddities would include the early days of exploring “swinging” and meeting face-to-face with a couple we found online through a lifestyle website. I can say that I would have never imagined myself ever exploring that whole side of life had I not married the man I did. To test the waters on that level, and recognize that I was free to explore some of the curiosities I had about my own sexuality, wasn’t something I could have imagined being a reality.

On the upside of “strange,” I would say his willingness to allow me the freedom to have shared that moment with my friend from work could be called bizarre; mostly because of the conventions of traditional marriage that it broke, and the fact that it took such an incredible leap of faith and trust to be that open-minded. A lot of people would never be able to do something like that.

For The Web

Hmm…another toughie because most of what you can find from me on my website and my videos could be considered “bizarre” in some circles, “exciting” in others and “tame” in others yet again. For me personally, I think the one video we have done – Sex Toy Punishment – comes close to my own consideration of the question. I’m all for a little fun, and I don’t mind the camera being on … but this one was a bit more of a role-play for me, where an “intruder” sneaks into my bedroom, ties me up and then proceeds to penetrate me anally and vaginally with my sex toys.

Trying to play the “victim” when I was damn-well enjoying it was very tough. Trying to “act” was even harder.

On The Web

The biggest challenge of them all was to narrow it down for this category. In the past decade, I have received hundreds of strange and unusual requests. Some of them have been kind of funny, some of them illegal. Some guys think because I have a website and videos that I am willing to randomly meet them for sex, while others want to fly me to distant lands to become a princess.

I’ve been asked to dress up as a superhero and dash through the neighbourhood on a mission to save the world; I have been asked to dress up and pretend I am a giant woman and stomp on toy cars and tiny cardboard houses. But I think the most bizarre (and disgusting) request I have had was from someone who wanted me to wipe my butt with my panties and then mail them to him. Bodily functions outside of an orgasm are something you just won’t see from me.

In all, I guess like so much of the sexual fantasy vs. reality argument … the fantasies always turn out to be some much more. My life online is a fantasy, even though there are parts of the real me throughout. That unto itself might be downright bizarre to a lot of people.

Andee     xoxo

 

Sex | Andee's Quick Six For Sex

One of the guys that emails me every now and then had asked if I would write some more sexy stuff … actually, if I would write more about actual sex. Given that it is one of my most favourite subjects, I have decided to dedicate today to some steamy, fast-paced, hike up the hem, do me quick sex.

With this in mind, I also took some liberties in assembling today’s fun because, as great as sex is, it can be a whole lot hotter when it happens in the most unusual locations … and maybe not so unusual if you are adventurous like me. I’ve picked what I consider realistic for me … you may have other ideas so feel free to share your own; I’m always game for getting some somewhere.

Andee’s Quick Six For Sex

1. The Bathroom

Normally this would rank as a “well, that’s not very unusual…” except what I mean is in the bathroom – at a party. And preferably one you are not hosting. Could be hotter if you managed to do this with, say, someone other than your traditional partner? I’m not advocating infidelity, but let the fantasy stand as something steamy, fast and almost anonymous. My kind of quickie ... with the right person!

2. The Washroom

I can never remember if my American friends call them washrooms or restrooms, but I’m thinking the office loo: slip away for a mid-afternoon interlude where he slips it out of his suit pants and under the hem of my pencil skirt. I can’t tell you how many of my own personal fuck fantasies touch on this one. The fact my husband encourages me to test my fashion sense with sexy stockings and garters hasn’t helped cool the heat here either.

3. Hotel Hot Tub

Yes, there is a certain ick factor here, because if you are busy sliding it into me while I am sitting on your lap, it probably means someone else has thought of the same thing … and I’m not sure when the pool staff changed the water. Anyway, I can’t tell you how horny it makes me when I am in the hot tub and there are people around…and then someone (ok, my husband … mostly) slides a hand down between my legs and under the seam of my bathing suit. A mixture of voyeurism, exhibitionism and hormones can be very explosive.

4. Highway Rest Stop

Sure, a bit cliché … but a lot more exciting than getting hot and bothered in the backseat on a secluded country road. Rest areas are generally busy … and patrolled. Just how quick can you draw that pistol cowboy; the sheriff might not be far behind!

5. A Walk In The Park

I love sex outdoors. There is something more free and naughty about doing it in wide open spaces. Lest we think I’m talking about the playground … there is something erotic about going for a nice little trail hike and instead of getting off the beaten track, why let me get you off! The hiking boots may not be as sexy as those date-night stilettos, but you’ll soon overlook my fashion faux pas.

6. Corridor Club

As far as I know, and I’m willing to be naïve here, this is one that seems to be fairly unique to where I live. Much like the famous Mile High Club, the Corridor Club involves two horny people getting it on in the toilet of public transportation. On the upside, some of the train cars on my commuter train have large enough space to accommodate two people in an almost comfortable quickie position – unlike airplane toilets.

Bonus:

My Best Quickie

At first I thought I would need to think about this for a long time, but there is one example of quickie sex that still stands out in my mind as the hottest so far.

During the early days of my sexual adventure, my husband and I explored the idea of “swinging” and what it might be like to find another couple to join us in the bedroom. After a bit of research, we found a lifestyle club not far from where we lived, booked our tickets for one of the dances and set about trying to calm the nerves over making the leap. We had no idea what to expect, and the days leading up to it were filled with a mixture of sexual excitement and downright fear.

FROM THE ACTUAL NIGHT

On the night in question, we headed out … and upon arrival at the club, proceeded to drive around the block a couple times to build up our courage to actually go inside. Once we did, we realized how silly all our notions had been as the club turned out to be pretty much a regular club – except everyone was so much more intriguing. There were people in just about any state of dress you can imagine. Mostly, we were riveted to this one woman with a killer body wearing nothing but high heels and a white thong. Wow, she was sexy. I was amazed at how comfortable and sexually confident she was at being so … exposed.

Watching her dance was definitely a turn-on … and then later in the evening, we sat and watched as she went down on her girlfriend at their table while the guys they were with sat back so nonchalantly. I couldn’t tear my eyes away.

Anyway, my husband and I took to the dance floor, and after a few songs, we had soon “forgotten” about everyone around us. A really sexy slow song came on, and we just kind of danced and kissed through the whole thing. As we did, my husband slipped my dress off my shoulders and down to my waist. I was there on the dance floor with my breasts complete exposed. It was exhilarating and scary at the same time.

By the time we had to leave to go home, both of us were so incredibly horny. I stripped off my panties in the front seat of the car and proceeded to finger myself to orgasm twice. I thought for sure my husband would drive off the road. Instead, he found a secluded back road and pulled over at the edge of a cornfield. Since it was summer time, and a beautiful evening, we slipped around to the back of the car and he hiked up my dress from behind, unzipped his pants and pounded me hard.

The next morning, when I went outside, I could see my hand prints on the hatch of the car … I left them there as long as Mother Nature let me as a reminder of that night. I still get a little horny anytime I have to drive past a cornfield!

Andee     xoxo

Panties | What They Say About Me

I came across this humourous article the other day, written by a man who was writing in response to an article that tried to define men by the kind of underwear they wore. Throughout the piece, he was very tongue-in-cheek about how certain styles of panties defined women because, as we all know, you can’t really define what someone’s personality is by the kind of knickers they have on.

Anyway, I thought it might be kind of fun to keep the theme going this week, as we have spent a couple days already discussing my panties. So, I opened up my panty drawer and had a look to see what different pairs might suggest about me …

Panties vs. Personality

My leopard-print thong

Out of my whole collection of underwear, these are the most recent pair to have joined my collection. I bought them to match a bra that I really wanted to get, and the store didn’t have anything sensible to match. The initial plan was that I needed something sexy that would work for some photo shoots, and yet still be practical enough for daily wear. In addition, my friend Matt had sent me this really awesome garter belt that had leopard print accents – a touch of my wild side on top of my exploring my wild side! It made sense, based on some of the naughty conversations I had already had with my hubby, so my animal instinct leapt at the chance to add them to my collection.

In the end, they are truly my panties for when I am feeling wild: they were the ones I was wearing for my afternoon rendezvous with my Office Guy!

My seamless VS bikinis

Some days I want you to notice my ass in my pants, or that sexy dress. And while you are ogling me from behind, the last thing I want in your mind is the distracting vision of my VPLs. My husband was the one who got me hooked – and hooked up – with the delight of Victoria’s Secrets, and there has been no looking back since. Some of the most comfortable yet sexy panties I have ever owned have translated into me feeling a lot more sexually confident and desirable … and willing to wear some of those sleek outfits and stylish skirts.

Who do you think benefits from that?

My sensible bikinis

Let’s be honest, a woman can’t walk around in her best lingerie every day of the week. And I know as much fantasy as you guys want to put into what we have on – or don’t have on – under our clothes, the truth is we have many days when the sensible side of our personality likes to be satisfied. Mostly in black, these panties do the job underwear is supposed to do … but are not so frighteningly ugly that should there be a need, I would not be embarrassed to reveal them. Every now and them, I might mix up that girl-next-door sensibility with a hint of red or pink or purple. A little colour is always good.

My black lace

Initially these were bought after I was prompted by my hubby for a devilish scheme he had in mind related to my flirtatious antics at work. The crazy games started a while back, when my hubby teased me about how I could drive my friend at work crazy by leaving a pair of panties for him. Yeah, great thought, but in a Bridget Jones moment, I realized that most of my “every day panties” aren’t exactly the trophy most guys might seek. So, with that in mind I found them … and kept them. They rank as one of my most comfortable pairs – and are still ready to play the role of a rear-view mirror prize should my bravery show up.

For me, these still hint at the flirtatious delight I get from those days when opportunity knocks. And like these panties, it shows that I have a sexy side, but still need to know where my comfort zone is.

My tiny t-bar

Every now and then I want to feel, dress and play the role of slut. Now, just to be clear, this does not mean putting on my naughty t-bar and a pair of low-rider jeans a la trailer trash style. No way. These tiny little panties cover just enough so that when I am wearing the drool-worthy club dress, you may just get a little flash of “barely there.”

I’m not much of a thong girl, so these are definitely the special-occasion panties – meant to come off within a couple hours of going on. These are usually accessorized with a pair of killer heels, also meant for those special occasions when they might point towards the ceiling as opposed to the floor!

Of course, the challenge for the men in my life is trying to determine just which mood they might catch me in.

I’m a lucky girl because some of them just keep adding to the selection, which keeps me feeling adventurous and sexy!

Andee     xoxo

Panties | Laundry List of Bare Necessities

Yesterday I wrote about those naughty little moments when you guys steal an upskirt peek at my panties. One of my readers asked what about the same thing sans knickers.

A few weeks ago, I did write about the few times when I spoiled the panty raids, but for the most part those were the occasions when I started out with panties and finished the evening commando. In all honesty, going without is not something that I do very often. As hot and sexy as it sounds, like so many other things in life, reality just doesn’t measure up.

But I promised I would write about the times when my free spirit has been exposed.

Intentionally Bare

A Friend’s Wedding

I had picked out this amazing LBD for a friend’s wedding and as I was getting ready, I realized just how form-fitting it really was. After trying a few different pairs of panties, I came to the realization that even my best “seamless” ones still wouldn’t cut the mustard. And there was no way I was going out with serious VPLs. With the clock ticking, I figured the only real solution was to let the dress work its magic and I went without.

My hubby, always the opportunist, spent a great deal of the day sliding his hand across my butt cheeks and trying to find the perfect angle to snap a few pics with his camera. And having his hand stroking my knee and inching up the flesh of my thighs ... later he got to have his way with me in just my heels.

A Swing Club Date

A few years ago, my husband and I were experimenting with our ideas on swinging and finding another couple that we could have some fun with in the bedroom. We arranged to meet some new friends at one of the lifestyle clubs that we occasionally go to. I picked out a nice miniskirt and sexy sheer white top – with no bra – as my outfit for the night. I figured since the bra was gone, there was no sense in wearing any panties either.

I can assure you that my husband spent an awful lot of the night with his hand up my skirt and his fingers in my pussy ... at least I think it was him! ;-)

An Almost Wholesome Date

During the early days when my husband and I were dating, he had bought me a suede skirt. He has always said how much he enjoys it when I wear a skirt or dress, and this wasn’t much different from that. Hey, if you want to see me in the stuff, why not get me what fuels your fire! It worked to his advantage, as I slipped it on for one of our date nights … and let him slip into me later on.

High School

Some crazy things just happen because I tend to be stubborn and would never back down from a dare … well, within reason. I doubt anyone ever noticed, as I was young, naughty and not willing to tarnish a decent reputation. But geez, we fucked later that day. Can’t remember if I took my skirt off or not.

My Fun Effort

Every now and then I like to remind my hubby that technically, I was not wearing panties on our very first date. As much fun as that sounds, I was far from going commando as I was wearing my bikini. We went to the beach.

My ‘Wisp’ List

Night Out Surprise

I’m not against the idea of going commando, I just need the opportunity that is going to be a really sexy and fun experience. Not too long ago, I was telling my husband that it was something that I do think about as a little ‘fantasy’ that can be easily achievable.

Now then, that said, it would be something much more exciting if I was the only one who knew about it. And it would have to be somewhere that would allow me a very lengthy night of teasing and tormenting. Starting somewhere like a romantic restaurant, and I could tease him by saying there was more fabric to the napkin than under my dress. Maybe we would go to a dance club or the casino where there would be lots of sitting (perfect upskirt opportunities), dancing (if you spin just the right way, the hem will swing just high enough) and physical contact (I want his hands all over my body once he knows)

Playing Hostess For Hubby’s Beer League Buddies

OK, not so much about having all his buddies getting a peek, but the fantasy of slipping on a sexy little denim mini – or maybe the camo skirt from this week’s Miniskirt Monday and whispering in his ear after I bring out some snacks for the guys that it’s not just camouflage, but full commando. I wonder how late the guys might stay that night?

Or maybe I would see how much I could tease all of them by hanging out the laundry on the clothesline while they’re enjoying their cold ones in the backyard. Of course, it would only be my laciest and sexiest delicates that would need to dry. Can’t have wet panties!

And since this is fantasy fun, maybe he might even have some guys on the team that aren’t your typical beer-leaguers. Some nicely-built pals that would do anything to help a girl out around the house when they visit! Like help her out of that miniskirt.

Work

Out of all the easiest opportunities, this is the one that is also the hardest for me to make the leap. It’s not just about spending the day in a flirty skirt, and perhaps doing my best Sharon Stone impression at the lunch table while my Office Guys sat a few tables away drooling onto their sandwiches. The idea of tormenting the guys is something devilishly exciting for me.

But, given my flirtations and extra-curricular afternoon back in March with my Office Guy, I also realize that doing something as simplistically naughty as going commando – one minute alone could prove to be way more dangerous than it should be. And I don’t mean dangerous in a bad way, but in such a way that physical desire might overheat our mutual ability to recognize there are certain acceptable limits in this increasingly complicated relationship we share.

I shudder to think just where the naughtiness might take us should he manage to get not just a peek, but a not-so-quick touch of my bare pussy with those long fingers ... again.

So, there you go, my not so frequent attempts to save myself some laundry ... but certainly something for a dirty mind!

Andee     xoxo

Panties | So You Wanna Have A Peek

A couple weeks ago I blogged a little about panties, and whether or not I made certain selections just for those times when I expected sex to be on the agenda. And one of my most popular blog posts has been about my particular panty strategy. It seems that a lot you like to get into my panties.

And there's probably a couple of you that I would like to get into my panties!

The truth is, I am kind of flattered. These days I pay more attention to what I wear, because there is something to be said for feel using sexy and looking sexy. I think I have also reached a stage in my life where my style is changing as I look to enhance my assets and squash the workplace boredom.

With all that talk about my underwear choices this was kind of a fun list to come up with, based on a question I was asked a while back about flashing my knickers in public.

So, where are the best places to give you guys a naughty peek? Here are  

Six Sexy Spots You May Have Seen My Panties:

1. At work

There are two kinds of office flashes: the ones where I know you are looking, and the ones when you steal a peek unbeknownst to me. The latter tends to occur during those moments when I might need to bend down and you try to grab a quick look from behind. Surprise, surprise, I know you guys do that. What won't be surprising is for you to see me doing the trailer trash t-bar. You should know by now that I'm much more of a bikini girl ... and I can't stand it when you see those women who must be flossing. Not sexy.

The intentional peeks are much more fun and these days, by far, my favourite. These are the moments when you might see me sitting very strategically in the cafeteria, the hem of my dress carefully adjusted to the right length across my thighs as I cross and uncross my legs. You might even think that I have forgotten I am wearing a skirt or dress. But I know you are looking, because when I am in the mood to tease you this way, every move is carefully planned. Of course, this is usually targeted towards a select few.

2. Behind the wheel

Another fun way to be a little playful. Pull up beside me and you might notice the hem of my skirt or dress pulled right up. Have to be a bit careful with this one though, you don't want those guys driving right off the road! There has also been a few times when, as a passenger, I have tormented my date just a little by pulling up what I am wearing and seeing how long he can a) keep his eyes on the road, and b) hold off from touching me in all the right places.

3. On the the train

A so-so one with me, mostly because the overwhelming majority of the men I encounter on the train tend to be really obnoxious perverts. I'm not all that turned on by their constant attempts to sneak a peek. You know what, buster? We're not dumb. And you're way too obvious to deserve a tease.

However, there is the odd occasion where I might intentionally sit in a particular way so that one of my handsome targets can enjoy a little panty peekaboo. I love to flirt and holding his attention becomes a very intriguing and subtle game.

4. On a date

Probably should rank a lot higher, but the majority of my dates these days are with the man who gets to see my panties pretty much anytime he wants ... and has purchased a huge selection of items in my "Just for Sex" clothing collection.

Of course, what has become a lot more fun with this particular panty flash is to show them off while not actually wearing them! Easily done by taking a moment to slip into the bathroom, remove them and then return to my date. At this point, I slip them into his pocket; or even better, into his hand while they are still warm and moist from being on me.

5. At a party

The party panty flash is basically the same as above ... although there may be an occasion or two in my past that involved alcohol and more than just one guy getting to enjoy my underpants. Maybe.

What is different from the date night knicker experience, the party panty flash is more often than not employed as a tactic to leave the party. Date nights are designed to build anticipation, make him work harder as reaching into my sexual mind or a reward for getting me horny with his charm.

6. On the dance floor

In all honesty, the last time I flashed my panties on the dance floor came courtesy of a naughty girlfriend, who lifted my skirt to flash a group of guys who were watching us from the sidelines.

Despite me wearing some brand new sex-worthy panties, the cute one never did email me ... hmm ... must have noticed the wedding ring on my finger.

Andee     xoxo

Sneak Peek | Do I Have "Sex Only" Panties

Every now and then, I have to look to some of the questions that have come my way in emails, chat and Formspring for some inspiration on my blogs. As I know this week will also be bringing the occasional pervert trying to sneak a peek up my skirt as I ride the train to work, it kind of struck me that this would be an appropriate idea for some naughtiness.

Do you have panties that are only for those “I know I’m having sex” nights?

The easy answer is yes, don't we all?

It's a bit of the Bridget Jones in all of us ... if you have seen the movie, you know there is a scene where she scolds herself for wearing sensible underwear when it becomes obvious that she is about to be in a sexual situation.

My traditional selection of knickers revolves around the very comfortable, and still flattering should anyone get an unscheduled peek at them, bikini-style. This has been my panty of choice since I was a teenager. I've never been a thong girl, and won't even get into a debate about that week each month when it just becomes a whole different purpose down there.

I'm also not the type to flash my t-bar every time I need to squat down at work, but I'm also someone who is fairly conscious of what I wear under my clothes influences how I feel about myself. If I want to feel sexy and confident, I need to have a feeling that I look sexy and confident. And underwear is the foundation on which I build that sentiment.

I am also an exceptionally lucky girl. I have a husband that is very intimate with Victoria and her Secrets, so I also have a drawer full of microfibre options at my fingertips. I will dress for sex, and have no shame in doing so.

As such, there are very specific pairs of panties in my collection that I will slip on, knowing who will be seeing them ... knowing that I will be employing all my feminine charms to coax him into bed. On those occasions I have no problem setting aside my traditional bikini-style preference and will slip on a sexy Brazilian tanga, or a thong. Their time on my body will be short-lived, so I will deal with the slight discomfort of having "butt floss."

My biggest goal in those moments is to see the look in his eye at the moment when my clothes hit the floor and I am standing there in just a tiny wisp of fabric between my moist desire and his throbbing passion.

So don't be fooled. Every pair of panties are a carefully planned selection.

Andee     xoxo 

TMI Tuesday | Sexual Favours

31 Sexual Favors for her/him features 31 circular tokens promising a variety of sexual services that will leave your partner utterly satisfied. You could drop one in her purse or in his lunch as a hint of what’s to come later or to hint at what sexual delight you’d like to savor.
This TMI Tuesday let’s play our own 31 Sexual Favors. List 31 unique and exciting sexual activities or services you’d put on your very own tokens that are guaranteed to make you the favorite flavor of the week.

________________________________________________________

I'm not 100% certain that I will be able to come up with a total 31, so I'm aiming for a nice Top 10 in a few different categories this week - and what an appropriate week to be thinking about sexual favours after the fun I had a mere seven days ago! And much like last Wednesday, even this sexual game seems to be balanced in my favour.

Now, in away, this is a little bit like the way my hubby and I have fun with our cellphones these days; with naughty little messages about naughty things. So, I hope you enjoy the kind of tokens my hubby and I will be giving away in my game!

The Most Intriguing Top 10

For Andee:

1. Oral sex in the office
2. Wear stockings with no panties for a day at work
3. Have a friend take a photo of Andee flashing
4. A night of playing sexual confession
5. I get to watch hubby pleasure himself for me

For Hubby:

1. Blowjob while driving home from Andee's no panty day
2. Long, tormenting oral sex while Andee shares a fantasy
3. Let you watch Andee masturbate with a toy you pick
4. Tormenting foreplay until Andee confesses a new fantasy
5. A date night wearing only what you get to pick for Andee

And Just For Fun

So, some of these are more in line with the sexual fun we are already enjoying with each other on a somewhat regular basis, but with the idea that sharing a token in advance of what is supposed to come later - building the anticipation as part of the foreplay:

1. Wash each other, head to toe, in the shower
2. Oral sex in the shower
3. A good old-fashioned handjob
4. A day of erotic and naughty sexual texting
5. Start the day in panties...carpool home commando
6. Pin me against the wall and stick your hand up my skirt
7. A night of making out on the couch
8. Sex under the stars
9. Sex in the backseat of the car
10. Hotel hot tub handjob
11. Use your tongue wherever I demand

Rare...but Hot

These ideas are those that we have sometimes shared during the heat of the moment, or during one of those late-night cuddles...not for the faint of heart, but guaranteed to get it beating like a rock 'n' roll drum solo!

1. Invite my friend to join me again
2. Oral sex with someone watching me go down on you
3. A date to our favourite swingers club again
4. A evening at a strip club, complete with mutual lap dances
5. Sex in the window of our hotel, facing the Vegas strip
6. Two tickets to Hedonism
7. Call a friend to photograph me for my website
8. Have a friend join me for a new video for my website
9. Invite a girlfriend to join me while you watch
10. Give me the MFM threesome I want 

So, there you have it: 31 Sexual Favours from Andee ... and of course, you'll note I spelled "favours" the Canadian way, because we always like to include "u" with it comes to things like sexual favours!

Andee     xoxo

Commando | Spoiling the Panty Raid

One of the fun things that my husband and I like to tease each other with - typically by texting - is the idea of me going commando at work. Now, that might seem a little vanilla for some, but my workday (and this scenario) usually includes at least one other person in the equation ... so it's not just about a body-hugging dress and not having any VPLs. And it often involves me starting out with panties, but coming home without them. 

Of course, most of that seems to find its way to Twitter too ...

Anyway, I was having this fun conversation on Friday night with my girlfriends from work about some of the naughty times when we have teased the crap out of our guys, the crazy stuff we've done just to spice up the moment, and what are some of the things that worked best when we wanted to turn up the heat.

This seemed somewhat appropriate given all those memories that came back. 

Commando: Sexy or disgusting? 

I think it depends totally on the situation and the person. For me, the commando experience is reserved for some very special moments ... and occasionally occurs unplanned. So on my own level, I think "sexy."

And, as was pointed out to me during this process, the origins of "going commando" are not from an episode of the sitcom Friends - although I'm sure many a man has fantasized about the scene in which Jennifer Aniston's character alludes to the fact that she is sans panties under her dress. The expression apparently comes from a more military background referring to soldiers doing what they could to avoid crotch rot and chaffing ... eeeww. 

Do you have a "best" commando story?  

As I mentioned, there aren't many moments when I intentionally set out in "commando" mode. Even when my hubby and I were exploring the swingers club scene, I still slipped into a tiny g-string. Most of the times when I've removed my panties have been either by request, or as a playful surprise.

The very last time was a couple months ago, when my hubby and I were attending the Everything To Do With Sex Show in Toronto. Naturally it was a very sexually charged date night, and as we were leaving, I slipped into the ladies room and ditched my panties. The ride home, if you recall from my previous blog about it, was even more sexually charged! Those are exactly the kind of commando moments in my life.

One of the "best" times I ever did the commando thing was at a Christmas party my husband's work was hosting. These things tended to be a little routine at best and, while I started the evening wearing a dainty pair of knickers, I felt our evening could be a lot more exciting. The whole evening marked a number of "firsts" for me, as you will see. And, as we were still only dating at the time, this was the first time I had been so openly brazen in our sexual relationship. I guess some firsts can be the most memorable.

After a couple of drinks, I was ready to focus more of my attention on getting my date for the evening to ditch his coworkers and concentrate on my needs. I slipped into the ladies room and promptly removed my panties. Returning to the table, I used the very cliche method of distraction: I whispered in his ear that I needed him to hold onto my panties for me, as I stuffed them into his suit jacket pocket.

Of course, that guaranteed a lot more attention coming my way. We stayed and enjoyed a few more dances and headed home for a more private party. On the way home, I firmly planted my heels on the dashboard, pulled up the hem of my party dress and, for also the first time, proceeded to masturbate in the front seat while he drove along.

Andee     xoxo

Fantasies | Do They Mix With Marriage?

I think it's pretty obvious that my psyche of late has become fixated on the idea of sexual fantasies. Actually, more bluntly, fixated on MY sexual fantasies.

And let's be honest, it's not really something that I struggle with. Throughout this whole adventure of mine, fantasies have played a huge role; as has the discovery of new ones and the turning into reality of old ones. I am certainly not balled up in the fetal position in the corner of a darkened room trying to hide from the multitude of sexual images and thoughts that have taken over my imagination.

Far from it. I have embraced the opportunity I seem to have been blessed with in my marriage and regardless of where my fantasies sit in terms of "when" or "if," each of them have proven to be a very healthy component of my relationship at home.

As I have been allowing one particular one to evolve - and it's yet to be seen if it will truly become a whole reality - the conversations (and sex) I have been having with my husband have been nothing short of mind-blowing. To physical sense his reactions as I take him through the events of a moment I shared with another man, and to hear myself describe my body's reaction and the building desire within me at that moment, is an incredibly intimate experience.

And while this sexual heat is burning in our bedroom, I can't help but wonder how it is we have gotten to the stage. I'll be honest, sometimes I wonder if our relationship is meant to be this way. I look around at the couples we have surrounded ourselves with as friends and I don't see the same passion and excitement between them respectively. What seems to stand out most is the obvious lack of affection and physical contact between them.

And I wonder why...

Perhaps it is the expectations of what a "normal" marriage is supposed to be. But if you can't lust over your partner and best friend as much as you love them, then what is the fuel that keeps the fire burning? Or is marriage meant to be a time when that fire burns down to a bed of embers, with only the occasional flare up of spectacular flames?

What I do know is that if marriage is meant to be that way, then I am happy being out of sync with the expectations.

The messages we see around us - in the movies and television we watch, the literature we read - all tends to hint at sexual heat only existing between people in "forbidden" relationships: moments of adulterous passion is some hotel room or on office desks late at night. And never between two people committed to each other. Our society doesn't seem to embrace the idea that a married couple can turn up the temperature to boiling; rather, the message seems to be that a marriage is wrought with off-schedule libidos, the mundane "Well, it is Tuesday" positioning of the sexual relationship along with overall resentment and boredom.

It's almost as if women are not supposed to be sexy once they are married and have children.

While the recent events in my sexual adventure - and my whole-hearted desire to explore my lust with my Office Guy - cranked up the flames in my relationship with my husband, they also served to validate me as a woman. There are times when, as I mentioned in yesterday's blog, that we need to know we are sexual beings as well as wives and mothers. When my Office Guy told me how sexy he thought I was, he stroked my ego far more adeptly than his hands did to my breasts. And not as if that moment was anything short of erotic and wanted.

And that is more of what a fantasy is in my own mind. It's not the feeling of his hands running along the seam of my panties as he held me from behind and kissed my neck - although that was equally incredible. It was the discovery of being desired all over again.

Andee     xoxo