TMI Tuesday | Sex Detective

Sometimes people can be a bit sneaky under the guise of curiosity. In a way, I'm not much different - but I would hope that pretty much anything could be an open discussion and there wasn't a need to hide.

However, now that I am a parent to a couple of teenage boys, I'm thinking there's probably some investigative techniques in my near future ... and not just on TMI Tuesday!

1) Did you ever find someone else’s stash of sex toys, lubes, etc.?
Other than finding my teenage brother's stash of Playboy magazines in the barn when I was about 12, no. He wasn't a very creative person when it came hiding places, choosing to stick them in an old case that was up on the loft about my father's work bench.

2) Did you ever search someone else’s computer to determine their porn habits? Were you ever the object of such a search?
I'd be lying if I said I hadn't poked around on my husband's computer to see what was going on, but I'm not exceptionally technologically savvy.

3) Did you ever investigate to see if two people were getting it on?
When I was a teenager, my parents adopted two of my teenage cousins and they moved in with us. The older cousin was a bit of a floozy and always had the lights off downstairs when her boyfriend would visit. I would sneak to the top of the stairs and wait for a few minutes before trying to bust them. I actually never did catch them doing anything other than making out - which is probably better for me and not being grossed out. The people you would love to catch or watch are never the ones you do.

4) Did you ever look for naughty pictures on someone else’s phone?
Not unless you count my husband ... and they were of me ...

5) Were you ever involved with an investigation (formal or informal) into whether someone was cheating on his/her lover?
No, although I've been on the receiving end of someone who thought it would be amusing to try to cause some shit in my own marriage. They took it upon themselves to send my husband some emails accusing me of some inappropriate behaviour with a friend. Of course, they had no clue as to what my private life is really like.

Bonus: Do you have a secret online identity so that you can find a secret lover?
Good lord, no. I have a hard enough time keeping up with the 'secret life' I already have going with me as 'Andee' let alone a dating persona.

Andee     xoxo

Trying Not To Look Too Slutty

It has been a while since I dug into my collection of questions from people I have encountered on here and some of the other online avenues of my life; and with the sun starting to actually melt the frozen tundra that is my neighbourhood I thought it would be a good time to put some specific answers out there.

This one came from one of my Twitter followers a few weeks ago and has kind of sat in my mind – and archive – for a bit.

When you get dressed up, do you pay attention to whether you look 'too slutty'?

Outside of the fun that happens with me online, there are kind of two realities at work for me as to why this isn’t really an issue: my personal struggle with fashion and my offline environment not being truly conducive to being that way.

I have said before that a tremendous amount of my personal style belongs to the fashion sense of my husband. He is a very unique man who could spend hours – and hundreds of dollars – taking me shopping. Almost all the outfits you see when I post pics on my blog and Twitter are the result of him taking the time to pick something out for me (with the exception of some lingerie and boots, which I have been ‘spoiled’ in receiving from a couple male friends). Without that guidance, I would easily opt for the most comfortable and practical style … and certainly not have the ability to tease, flirt and torment as much as I do!

Some of the women I work with, quite literally, ask if they can take him shopping with them after they discover that a certain outfit was something he picked out, etc.

In those moments when I feel like pushing the envelope a little, my decisions are completely based on being a distraction – but not so much that it would impact my professional reputation. I aim for the “sexy” most of all.

Secondary to that, my day-to-day life is rooted in a very conservative work environment. I occasionally push the limits a little with some shorter hems and by wearing my friends’ lingerie underneath, but for the most part I can’t get away with too much. Heck, we even have a policy for heel height – which rules out all those impossible sky-high stilettos you guys love on us.

And, my day-to-day-not-at-work life is rooted in playing taxi driver to a couple of exceptionally busy young men. I’m sure I could get away with being a little sexier in my outfits for those nights when I’m just a spectator to their activities – and likely not get any complaints from the Dads in attendance – but it’s not always practical to be wearing a miniskirt and heels to a hockey game.

But, having said that, every now and then, the opportunity arises for me to go out on a hot date with my husband and not dress so “Momish.” Again, I get an awful lot of advice and requests from him … and occasionally I will relent and slip into something just so we can cut the night short and get home early (if you know what I mean).

Even then, my husband’s fashion sense isn’t about trying to make me look “slutty” as much as it is about trying to help me feel confident, stylish and sexy.

In all honesty, the only times I have ever felt close to ‘slutty’ are a couple of occasions when we went to a lifestyle club – but my initial concerns over my own outfit were soon dispelled by what I saw other women almost wearing. And in that kind of setting, their sluttier seems to be the better!

I think there is a need to understand what “too slutty” can mean. With some people, they think that a woman should stop wearing certain styles when they reach a certain age. But others think that when a woman reaches a certain age, she should dress how she wants because she has the confidence in her sexuality to let all those societal conventions disappear.

I think there is a difference between what may be acceptable in our society and what might be a bit much, but at the end of the day, if a woman has the confidence to carry her sense of style off, then who are we to pass judgment?

Andee     xoxo 

The First Time in My Mouth

I read a really great blog on the weekend by someone who I regularly follow. Jenny Swallows was writing about a claim made by someone in a study of teenage oral sex habits, and the motivating factors behind a girl's giving of their first blowjob.

"The few studies that exist on oral sex among teenagers indicate that although teenage girls perform fellatio more often than in the past, they do so without pleasure, usually to please their boyfriend or to avoid the possibility of impregnation." said Joan Jacobs Brumberg, author of The Body Project. The book is a study of American girls and how the changing world around them affects their sexual development.

I have not read the book, although I found that the concept intriguing - and while Jenny strongly disagrees with the perspective presented by the author - it got me thinking about the statement just as much.

Personally, I lean more towards agreement; in that many teenage girls today are exploring a more sexualized lifestyle than they did when I was a teenager all the way back in the 1990s. We have girls who readily expose themselves on social media, and validate who they are by the number of likes they get when they post a photo to a social media website.

What I tend to think is that young women and teenage girls have a somewhat twisted perspective on oral sex. They view less as an act of intimacy and more of a peer-circle victory; a badge of honour that says "I'm one of you" even though they don't know why they want to be one of the crowd. They're more afraid of being socially rejected than sexually taken advantage of.

Virginity, once seen as something to protect and cherish as a "gift" for your wedding night, has become a "condition" to be healed.

Frankly, I agree with the notion - as the book apparently suggests - that these young women just don't understand what they do - or give deeper thought to the long-term consequences of their actions.

And yes, these are generalized notions ... but not many are trying to dispel them these days.

I certainly remember the first time I endured oral sex. I had absolutely no clue as to what I was doing, and frankly I chose to do it out of curiosity over any sense of intimate purpose.Frankly, I wasn't into it for pleasing my boyfriend as much as I was intrigued. But, then again, like giving up my virginity to this boyfriend, I wished I had known just a little bit more about sex and sexuality - because I sure as hell wouldn't have chosen that guy as "the one."

But I know women who say that their first oral sex encounter was the result of "emotional coercion" or the lesser of two evils to avoid giving up their virginity.

I found a great little bit from Dr. Ava Cadell on what oral sex is supposed to be all about:

• A precious gift to someone who is worthy to receive it. Our sexual gifts are as valuable as any other part of ourselves that we prize. Selecting the right sexual partner to give to and receive from is as important a decision as choosing anything you place a high value on.
• A natural high, perhaps even the best of nature’s uplifts. It can energize us and make us feel more creative afterward.
• A wonderful form of self-expression, infinitely artistic. It is both beautiful and erotic. It is gentle and assertive. It is relaxing and energizing.
• A way to renew stamina, not deplete it. It can free us from emotional stress and release any tension and discomfort lodged in our muscles.
• But most of all, it is a unique connection between two people who want to share a divine pleasure.

Regardless, it's hard to argue against the cultural reality that our daughters are doing far more than we ever did, at a much younger age. And, without question, they will likely wonder later in life if they should have made a wiser decision back when they were teenagers.

Andee     xoxo

30 Random Things For A Friday

Like a few other updates that have happened over the past few days, this one has its roots in a previous blog that I wrote on a different site. I think it’s still kind of fun and covers off a whole whack of “too much information” about me.

I thought this might be something light and fun for a Friday. You have probably seen a few of these “random facts” blogs, so I hope it’s not too boring. If nothing else, if it spurs you to ponder any curious questions about me, please send them my way. I am always looking for new ways to involve you in my blog, and also to write about ideas, topics and interests that appeal to you. Otherwise you are just stuck inside my own head – and that can be a dangerous place to find yourself on the best of days!

1) Single, Taken, or Crushing?
Married, quite happily! But occasionally playful in the right moments!

2) Are you happy with where you are?
Extremely, except for financially, but isn't that the case with most people?

3) When you meet the right person, do you fall fast?
No, I tend to be a bit more coy and cautious.

4) Have you ever had your heart broken?
Yes ... and more than once.

5) Do you believe that there are certain circumstances where cheating is ok?
No, but with good communication and a mutual adventurous spirit, why cheat on your partner when you can explore together! ;-)

6) Would you ever take someone back if they cheated on you?
No. I would struggle to regain the trust and I think that would prevent the relationship from healing.

7) Have you talked about marriage with another person?
Several times ... but I am married after all.

8) Do you want children?
I already have two. Now we’re trying to adopt a dog.

9) How many?
The two I already have. Unless you meant the dog, then we will just stick with the one.

10) Would you consider adoption?
Yes. Especially of the dog.

11) If somebody liked you right now, what do you think is a cool way to let you know?
Be straightforward, talking is always a good thing. As I get older, the more I recognize that “games” can quickly get off track. If you want an adult relationship, start out by being an adult. Save the games for between the sheets when everyone is horny and naked.

12) Do you enjoy playing hard to get?
Am I hard to get? Hmmm ... I really prefer to play getting it hard.

13) Be honest, do you play the "game" when you are dating?
Completely. But most of my dates are with my husband, so it’s very safe to play the “game.” Fun, even. Especially when he is creative with the plans for the night!

14) Do you believe love at first sight exists?
Yes.

15) Are you romantic?
Extremely.

16) Do you believe that you can change someone?
I believe you can ... but more times than not, I have seen it for the worse and not the better.

17) If you could get married anywhere, money not an object where would it be?
In some incredible European castle.

18) Do you have feelings for someone right now?
Yes. Some of them are even good.

19) Have you ever wished you could've had someone but you couldn't?
Yes.

20) Have you ever broken a heart?
Honestly, I don't know.

21) Would you ever fight somebody over your significant other?
You wanna piece of me? But quite honestly, our relationship is such a way that I would rather just hold the camera and watch intently.

22) What would you say about your last ex?
Where's a speeding bus when you need one?

23) Favorite sex position?
Well, seriously ... do I need to pick just one? Anytime I'm getting some is a favourite position. But if I really need to pick just one, I'll say doggy style 'cause it feels so good and deep.

24) What turns you on the most?
The first thing I notice about a man that I have just met would be his hands. Then his smile. On a deeper note, I get turned on by a guy who can make me laugh, smile and appreciates my twisted sense of humour. Finally, if he gets the chance to bed me ... those hands better live up to all the expectations in my imagination! ;-)

25) Does size matter?
Sorry, but yes. But maybe not quite like what many guys think. Truth is, while I have never been with a guy like this, but too big can be a bad thing. You want something that fits, feels good. But having said that, no matter what, the guy needs to know how to use what he has.

26) Most times in one day?
Six

27) Most orgasms in one session?
I'm usually good for two, but then after that things tend to get a little numb as I am one of those women that needs a little extra help getting there.

27) What do you think about during sex?
Depends on the sex and the partner. Mostly I think about the sensations I'm feeling at the moment, and perhaps the events that led up to getting into that position. Rarely does my own mind wander away from what is really going on.

28) Ever had a threesome?
No, but I have had a foursome with my husband and another couple. That said, a MFM encounter is very high on my list of desires – and something I am working actively on achieving.

29) How often do you masturbate?
Four to five times per week if I'm getting regular sex that week. But like everyone else, some weeks the motivation just isn’t there, and others the motivation is really there!

30) Do you like oral?
Yes, I've been told it's one of my better bedroom skills by more than one guy ... and girl. In fact, I’ve blogged at length about it …

Anyway, hope you enjoy this little tongue and cheek bit of TMI for this week.

Andee     xoxo

 

An Authentic Brunette's Random Thoughts

For me this one is a bit of a personal debate as I ponder what will come next for my hairstyle ... although I have never thought of going blonde ... I found this little interesting argument online at a "mail order bride" site (don't ask).

"Since time immemorial, poets, writers, journalists, social scientists, talk show hosts, you name them, have struggled and fought to answer the question that burns in men's minds: Which shade of woman is preferred and why...blondes or brunettes? Are blondes better lovers? Are brunettes better suited in the boardroom? Can blondes be trusted? Is a brunette a better mate?

Blonde hair is unique in that it typically darkens with age. So a blonde woman gives the impression of being younger, more able to procreate. Theory has it that men have subconsciously developed an attraction to mate with women who appear younger, thus increasing the chances of having children. In northern climes, where survival of the species is paramount, one school of thought believes blondes developed genetically in order to attract more males and therefore increase the odds of maintaining the species.

Lighter eyes are a more desired trait as interest, such as in a male, is more easily seen in the pupil dilation (the signal of interest) of a blue-eyed women versus those of a dark-eyed one.

As early as the 14th century women were dying their hair lighter in order to look younger and become, they believed, more attractive. This is true in many traditionally dark haired areas of the world, for example Latin America, where a lighter haired and skinned woman is more highly prized than her brunette counterpart...so they say.

However, studies have shown that corporate entities seem to favour brunettes as managers and executives as illustrated by the size of their paycheck over those of blondes. Another study espoused that brunettes are preferred by men as mates and are more trustworthy and loyal. If you want to have fun, go with a blonde. But marry a brunette..."

So ... brunette or blonde ... maybe I might find a good wig for a photo set or two!

Andee     xoxo

Life On The Silver Screen

Around here the celebrity buzz is gaining a lot of steam, with the international film festival set to begin and movie star sightings on the rise. One of the films being featured by Canadian actress/director Sarah Polley is a revealing story about family secrets, and such. The idea behind having your life and family secrets being exposed to the big screen made for some interesting conversation this past weekend with some of my coworkers.

Naturally I was reluctant to reveal too much about the secrets I keep tucked away in my boudoir. Some things are just better left not disclosed to the people I have to face every day.

If your life was turned into a movie, what scene would you be embarrassed to see on the big screen?
Despite what you might think about all the swirling sexual insanity that has become my adventure for the past decade, probably the one thing that would embarrass me the most would be a somewhat realistic recreation of my wedding. Don’t get me wrong, I love being married to my best friend, and life is never boring, but back then I was so young and immature; hardly prepared or mindful of what would lay ahead.

Part of the “romance” is the innocence and naivety, but like those horrible high school photos we all like to hide, what we see is a young bride with a huge misconception of the world. At that age we think we are so much older and prepared for life than we really are. Then as we begin to experience life, all those youthful notions turn into knowledge of how it really is.

Probably the other moment in my life that I would like to rewrite for a much more exciting Hollywood version would be turning the awkwardness of me discovering my bisexuality into a scene that isn’t as close the reality.

It was something I had long mulled over in my mind, but when the opportunity was right there, everything went south … and not in the good way. As you have read on here before, all the curiosity and desire staggered around after she and I both had too much to drink.

What scene would get it an ‘R’ rating?
Oh goodness, to narrow it down ...

Um, as much as I would like to say things have not been a tornado of emotional confusion and sexual torment, but just about any time in the past year I've worn a dress to work. Some days haven’t been all that naughty, but given that the days when I dress up, there are ulterior motives.

And then there is the reality surrounding most of the dates I've had in the past decade. One of the realities of my life is that I am a very sexual and adventurous person, and my shy, conservative persona is less of the truth than what people might think. When my husband and I plan a night out, if it’s not something specific like a family event, we look to explore and excite in whole new ways.

For example, one of the last times we went out, I ended up pressed up against the back of my truck in the dark parking lot having my pussy licked. My husband pushed the hem of my jean skirt up to my waist and knelt between my legs. It was only after a few minutes into the whole moment that we realized there was someone sitting in their truck parked a few spots over. Hopefully they enjoyed the show.

On the way home, I was still so incredibly turned on, so I took matters into my own hands and proceeded to distract my husband by masturbating in the front seat. No worries though, before we got home, we stopped and I gave him a blow job.

Yeah, probably not something that would rank as a PG kind of scene ... but pretty much a typical date for us.

Andee     xoxo

The Real TMI To Yesterday's Questions

If you happened to stop by yesterday, you would have read my questions to the answers that the folks behind TMI Tuesday provided this week. Of course, if you have been paying attention to me over the past two years, you will know that I'm not one for short answers.

And even though the questions were created on the fly, I thought it might be kind of fun to dig a little deeper into the answers - because I think I have figured out that you seem to enjoy really getting into the naughty corners of my mind.

1. When using a dildo with your partner, where is the most likely spot it will end up? 

It all depends on exactly how the dildo became involved in the moment - and which dildo in my collection it is. Not too long ago, my husband bought me a new toy, strictly intended to be used for anal play during intercourse. He knows just how much the idea of being penetrated in front and back gets me extremely hot and bothered. It's a huge fantasy that we often like to play with.

However, I do own a couple of larger dildos that aren't exactly suited for that same purpose. As much as I like to think about being taken in both holes, some things are just a bit too large to make it a wild experience. Those particular toys are more than likely to be used as "torture" devices by my hubby as he torments the hell out of my pussy - and mind - with them.

2. What is the one accessory you can wear on a date to make sure you wind up getting laid?

Without question, my husband loves me in high heels. And I have learned that when I feel the need or desire for a little sexual attention, slipping on a pair of sexy stilettos is one way to guarantee I will get some.

I still remember when I first learned that my husband had a bit of a footwear fetish. At the time, we were still dating and I had borrowed a friend's pair of boots that I happened to like. At the end of the evening I was on my back, heels in the air, having an awesome time ... and would always have a little smile when I would see my friend wearing them, wondering what she would think if she knew what I did in them.

3. What is the one physical reaction you expect your answer to Question 2 will produce in your date for the night? 

Let's just say that I pretty know just how I can turn my husband on without doing too much ... a sexy little dress, a great pair of shoes and a naughty little glance will help me turn get him hard and stiff. And for those women who somehow think doing something like that is tiresome or beneath them, ie: "Why should I have to do something like that?" ... you have totally missed the lesson on seduction, and the rewards it brings.

4. What is something that you partner might say in bed that would put a damper on your sexual enthusiasm?
As I mention below, sex doesn't always have to be a serious occasion. Some fun, laughter and light-heartedness is also a good thing. However, short of referring to me by someone else's name in the height of passion or throws of orgasm, probably the one thing that would put me off is if a guy is talking to himself. The funny answer given by the folks at TMI was “By George I think he’s got it!” For me, that would be just way too weird. First, the George I know in my real life is not all that ... and secondly, it would be hard to get visions of Eliza Doolittle out of my mind.

If you don't know who she is, try reading Pygmalion by ... wait for it ... George Bernard Shaw. Or renting My Fair Lady, the musical movie version of the same story.

5. Sex doesn't always have to such a serious thing. What is the last thing you wore to bed that made your partner laugh? 

I find it amusing when I meet people who believe that sex has to be this serious, mind-blowing experience every single time. When you spend many years with the same person, you learn that sex can be fun on many different levels, from the excitement of newlywed sex through to exploring and pushing the relationship envelope inside the bedroom, it doesn't have to ever be "the same old thing."

In my relationship, we have shared tears over sex and laughs. One of the funniest moments came when I was in college and my boyfriend (who became my husband) stayed over. Canadian winters can get a little cold, and the house I was sharing with my roommates wasn't always at a tropical temperature. I was wearing a pair of wool socks to keep my feet warm when he brushed my feet with his and then said in a pretend sexy voice "Oh baby, I love how you wear things to turn me on."

It was a very hysterical moment for me at the time ... but I have since stopped wearing thick wool socks to bed. 

6. When using a washroom in a public place, what is the one thing that will make you risk wetting yourself instead of just going?

There is part of me that is intrigued by the idea of a glory hole experience. The anonymity of the situation, the thrill of doing something I happen to love doing - giving oral sex - is a turn on. However, despite the reality of what a glory hole is, I would still want the security of it being a safe and clean experience.

That said, slipping into most public bathrooms is a test for even the most relaxed germaphobe ... and if I see anything that remotely looks like a peephole, you can be guaranteed I will risk the kidney stones, and hold it until I can pee somewhere less disgusting.

Bonus:

What would you say to your partner when they accidentally discover your collection of Playgirl magazines?
I don't think I ever really got into Playgirl magazine all that much until later in life. I wasn't particularly drawn to pictoral porn; opting for the more erotic approach of the written word. Now, I have no objection to seeing photos of hot naked men with 0% body fat and hard and stiff ...

But I also don't have much reason to hide any of that.

So, the real truth behind my question to the answer: I hid them there so you wouldn’t find them ... relates a lot more to where I store my AA batteries, and how I keep them tucked away for my own battery-operated fun so that my Little Men will not find them and use them for silly things like their remotes for the video game system.

Andee     xoxo

Sex | True ... or Urban Legend

Every so often, when the mood strikes and the planets seem to be aligned, the conversation at work turns to something intriguing. This time, instead of regaling each other with stories about our wild and crazy weekends (mine almost always involves kids’ sports in the summer time ... and the winter time), things turned to sex stories.

Someone had mentioned the old “I heard ...” and proceeded to tell everyone sitting there about how the had learned that a certain couple they knew (not us) were involved in “the lifestyle.” This, for those of you who prefer the old goldfish bowl description, is best known as being swingers.

And, it’s often in those discussions that I find my tongue hurts from biting it, or I have to give a friendly boot to those in my life who know just a bit too much about what my weekends are occasionally like.

Regardless, without rehashing the story of what has gone on in my own personal life over the past few months, truth be told, there aren’t very many wild and crazy sex tales for me to share. Even the few occasions when my husband and I tested the waters of swinging, it wasn’t anything like the stereotypes you might associate with it; no orange shag carpets, bean bag chairs, satin jumpsuits and guys with big cheesy moustaches. Just two overly excited married couples, a bit too much to drink, and our imaginations.

But the question in question was: “What is the wildest, most unbelievable sex story you have ever heard?”

I don’t know ... this is kind of where I always feel a bit naive and sheltered. Where I grew up, sex usually earned you a reputation. Then in college, it was a bit more experimentation; and though I shared a house with three guys, they knew well enough not to dish out too much of the sexual BS. None of them were exactly Casanovas.

Despite knowing these days that it was just our own small town version of the story, there was one of those urban legends going around back when I was in high school about a girl who tried the old "frozen hot dog" as a sex toy. As I am sure many of you have heard, the story goes about a girl who uses a ballpark frank to sexually pleasure herself, only to discover the hot dog breaks and has to go to ER to have it removed from her vagina.

At my school, the story began after one of those crazy bush parties that happened pretty much once a year. I remember the girl they said it was, and I still wonder if she ever knew, if she cared or if it left her with some sort of emotional pain.

The other story that I found kind of wild and unbelievable was one that was going around about one of the girl’s in my grade. It apparently happened after senior prom at one of the after parties. The girl, who had been drinking (these always revolve around too much alcohol), followed her friend and the friend’s boyfriend into one of the bedrooms at the house where the party was taking place. She then, rumour has it, successfully seduced the other girl and put on a display of lesbian sex not seen outside of movies about the Swedish Bikini Volleyball Team.

I think I am way more intrigued by this tale than the one about the hot dog, mostly because of my own bisexuality and how I would love to have the opportunity to ask the girl if that really did happen.

The thing about sex stories, I believe, is that few of us would tell the whole truth about our own experiences to people who are a regular part of our lives. In my own experience, I’m sure that quite a few people who be speechless to learn of the things I have done, even though none of them would prove to be the genesis of a trilogy of trashy erotic novels about bdsm, billionaires and red rooms. Despite the adventure I am having right now, there is little in my own sexual history that starts with “So, I met this football team after I won a wet t-shirt contest during Spring Break in Daytona ...”

But, who knows ... maybe someone out there is talking about this somewhat shy and quirky Canadian woman they know who has her own raunchy website and porn videos.

Andee     xoxo

Sex | Adventures In Masturbating

The one thing I can pretty much count on when I have a date night with my husband is that it will be nothing short of sexually-charged. Even if we are going something as innocent as a coworker's wedding, the night will definitely heat up at some point.

Not that I am complaining. I know a few people who would be over the moon if their spouse would go out for a night of erotic adventure ... without them.

The other thing about our date nights is that the conversations we have are usually quite erotic. Being parents - busy parents - it's not very often that we have a few hours of adult time to enjoy and connect over the ideas that swirl around in our minds.

Last weekend, we had a date planned for a friend's buck and doe (for those not familiar, those are the pre-wedding parties couples have; somewhat tamer than stags and hen nights, and designed for couples to share in the occasion). There's a lot more to share about that night, which will come about in other blog updates, but the one thing I wanted to share in this update was about the drive home.

The whole night was quite sexually charged. Before we left the party, I slipped into the washroom and removed my panties. It didn't matter much anyway, because I was already way beyond horny. In the elevator ride down to the parking lot, my husband slid his hand under my skirt and touched my wet pussy as we made out.

On the way home, as we talked about a bunch of things on our minds and caught up on being a couple again, I put one of my feet up on the dashboard. Doing this pushed the hem of my skirt higher and left me totally exposed. I'm not sure if the couple of guys standing on the corner as we waited for a light to change could see anything, but it's not like I was going to stop playing.

As we continued along on our way home, we started talking about how I have done this a few times recently, and how much fun it was to have these kind of moments together. Then, not sure how, the conversation turned to trying to figure out where is the most adventurous place that we have masturbated.

I kind of had to dig deep into my thoughts ... and despite the "wild" and sexually-free personality that tends to come out in my blog, in the car is probably the most adventurous.

I say adventurous because pretty much all of the other places I have ever enjoyed self-loving, very few could be considered as risky and out in the open. Even the events from Monday's blog took place in a bedroom. The one time at work - because my husband left me no choice with how much he got me turned on with his sexting - was in one of most remote washrooms in the building with the door locked..

Perhaps the greatest thrill at doing this came last winter when, after attending Sexapalooza and acquiring a new sex toy, I couldn't wait to get home to entertain and torment my husband. I pulled out my new little gadget, hiked up my skirt and began to masturbate. The excitement was really cranked up with the fact that we were also stuck in downtown traffic and people were walking right past the car as I was doing this. Without question, there was a couple of other drivers that enjoyed a good show that night.

Andee     xoxo

Random Thoughts On A Saturday Morning

I woke up early this morning; a little bit horny and an awful lot frustrated. I think my mind and body is pretty much programmed to wake up at the same time every day now - despite the fact that it's my friggin' day off!

Since I'm not really one to spend the quiet time surfing porn while everyone else sleeps, I thought I would at least try to get something written for you. This past week and a bit has been incredibly crazy between work and home that I barely had time to think.

So, with me being just a little horny and waiting for a better time today to take care of all that, I thought I would go back through a couple of the questions I have been sent, asked, read, etc. to make up for being a little absent this week.

What’s the most unusual item you have used during sex that really turned you on and rocked your world?
I had to really think about this one ... and necessarily to narrow it down! It's not like I have experimented with a huge collection of unusual objects in my life. I was turned on to sex toys shortly after I turned 18, and from there everything was pretty standard in terms of vibrating penis-shaped objects.

But the one thing that stands out as one of the most memorable items was the one that led to me getting my first sex toy. At the time, I was not yet married, but dating the man who would become my husband. We were about 18 months into our relationship when I went to spend the weekend with him at his apartment. He had recently moved away for work, so we were trying to make the long distance thing work. This also meant that most weekends were spent fucking like rabbits because we were so horny from being apart.

On this particular night, I had worn a cute little dress - because if there is one thing about my husband, he love me in a dress. He had bought some wine and prepared a nice meal for us; a very romantic gesture. After dinner, we put in a movie and sat on the couch and finished off the wine, made out and generally just got ourselves worked up into a sexual lather.

I had in mind that I really wanted to leave him with something naughty to think about for the following week when we were apart, so after he had performed oral sex on me I stopped him just before he was going to slip his erect cock into me. I took the empty wine bottle and began to run the open neck along my pussy lips. There was just a dribble left in the bottle, so I tipped it up and let the last taste drip onto me. I asked him to see how that tasted, and he went back to licking me for all he was worth. Then, when he came up for air, I held the bottle against me and began to slide it in.

I proceeded to fuck myself with the empty bottle for a few minutes, then let him lick me once again before he got his chance to slide his erection into my now very wet, very ready pussy.

Afterwards, when we were both completely spent, he told me how much of a huge turn-on it was for him to watch me do that. The next weekend when I came to visit, he told me he could not stop thinking about that night and presented me with a little gift - my first vibrator.

Ever since that time, toys - and the occasional wine bottle - have been a regular part of my sex life.

Have you ever done the "Walk of Shame?"

Not in the same sense as the question implies. I have never had a one-night stand, and the vast majority of my sexual experiences relate to the man I am now with.

That said, even with being married, there are a few occasions that I can recall where I have woken up - now sober - and thought "Holy shit, did I really do what I did last night?" Some of those are confessional things I might have admitted to in a sexual-charged, alcohol-induced wildness ... and others have been sexual experiences that didn't turn out exactly like the fantasy I had in my head, such as our foursome frolicking with another couple.

Not really "walk of shame" events, but definitely "did I really do that?" moments.

What is the one sentence that gives you an immediate ego boost?

This is a bit of a tough one. You get a very ... hmm ... twisted perspective of me on here. I write about the thoughts, ideas and desires I have in my mind; and share some of the experiences along the way. It tends to be very condensed and thought-out. I'm not a vain person in real life, I don't share a lot of information about me in person, and I'm generally shy and reserved until I get to know you.

Having prefaced all that, these days I have been trying very hard to ramp up my wardrobe and look a lot nicer/sexier for work. What really sets my heart fluttering and my pussy tingling is when one of the guys (that I am not married to) says:

"Wow, you look amazing."

Andee     xoxo 

Sex Education | What Kids Should Know

A couple weeks ago I tweeted about a little embarrassing situation that happened after my birthday date with my husband. We had spent the afternoon shopping, then off to a romantic dinner followed by a night out at the casino in Niagara Falls. He had planned the whole day as a continuous event – so I had to start by buying some new lingerie to wear that evening, followed by a dress, heels and accessories. Then, since we were not going home, I had to change into my date clothes “on the fly” so to speak.

Of course, this led to some challenges – all of which he knew it would – that saw me trying to change from my original dress into all of my new items, including the new bra and panties I had just purchased an hour earlier.

In order to accomplish all of this, I slipped into the back seat of our SUV and began to sort out exactly how I was to strip down to nothing but my wedding rings and into a whole new outfit. Fortunately I am still limber and creative enough for some back seat aerobics. Although, I’m pretty sure there were some people in the city bus that pulled up beside us at one point got a very interesting late afternoon display.

Dates with my husband are rarely boring or traditional.

I thought nothing of it as we continued throughout our plans and had a marvelous time, with some exceptionally intriguing and enlightening conversation – mostly around the subject of sex and fantasies.

The following day was much more “family-oriented” as my kids took me out for a birthday breakfast. On the way there, my youngest son passed over a pair of my thigh highs from the back seat – which I had obviously forgotten to put back into my travel bag during the previous day’s romp.

Anyway, I tweeted about the humourous little gaff, and my Twitter friend Paul asked how I explained the discovery to my son. I simply said that I am one of those Moms that is straight up with my children when it comes to subjects like dating, marriage and sex. I believe in being honest with them with they have important life questions, but I also believe in explaining it in a way that won’t leave them needing therapy later on.

And, as I explained that to Paul, he suggested I should write about why children should have a healthy perspective on sex and relationships.

I need to preface a lot of this with the fact that my children have a very traditional understanding of sex and marriage. There are several things that they do not know about, and I’m not sure I will ever be the one to explain it. For example, my website … and that my hubby and I have explored “friends with benefits” … and that Mommy also likes girls … and I have played around with a coworker while my hubby watched. You get the idea.

But even though I do believe in “tempering” what children know about sex and relationships, I do believe it is vitally important that they understand some aspects are very normal and healthy. Being secretive about “adult topics” leads children to being confused about their natural curiosities – and may lead them to seek that information from less-than-appropriate sources.

Sex should not be viewed as something dark and mysterious (until much later in life!). The challenge is always to explain it in a way that they can relate to; as opposed to be too coy or too scientific. And never with “lies.” Unless you have already planned for therapy sessions.

My husband grew up in a household where “sex” was only ever used as a way to determine if the next family pet was going to be a female or a male. I grew up in a household where my parents were a lot more forthcoming with the facts. But we also had farm animals and, as you can imagine, they were good for an education too.

Using that analogy, I would just rather my own children heard it from the horse’s mouth …

It doesn’t take much for any of us to look around and see where so many relationships are going wrong. And while I can’t always explain to my own children why people we know are going through a divorce, or why they argue about issues such as infidelity, what I can do is highlight the realities as to why my relationship with their father is strong. Part of that is explaining that even though we are parents, we are still lovers.

My kids already have a good idea of what the mechanics of traditional sex are all about … the birds and the bees …

What I hope more than just that is through seeing a level of affection and understanding of intimacy, my kids will recognize that a marriage involves way more than sharing a house and bank account. I like to think that we have accepted our responsibility as role models – because that is what we are – and shown them how a relationship contains mutual respect, consideration, compromise and commitment.

I like that my children get to see how my husband and I express love for each other as a couple. In a world where they see so much anger and hate already, they know that at home the emotions are more about love and caring for each other.

My children are now old enough to understand that when Mom and Dad go out on a date, it doesn’t mean grocery shopping.

So, when my children find a little trail of suggestive lingerie in the back seat of the family vehicle, I have no qualms about turning their youthful curiosity into prepubescent disgust with the knowledge that Mom might be a little tired, but she definitely had a good time!

Andee     xoxo

Communication | How Social Are We Really

I try very hard to be a social person. It’s not always my biggest comfort zone, but it serves me well to know those around me when I need a favour or shortcut during the day. I don’t need to mention (again!) about how it also led me to starting an incredible journey of sexual discovery and experience.

But there are moments when I get a little concerned over how we have more ways to avoid communicating face to face than we do to interact on a physical level.

I was reading this article online the other day about how social media – specifically Facebook – has changed our way of sharing major life changes to those around us. The article was focused on the issue of updating your FB status when a relationship has come to an end, but touched on other elements of what it has done to our personal TMI filters.

The woman being interviewed commented about how she felt awkward changing her relationship status following a breakup because it invited comments from everyone such as her distant aunt to high school friends she had not seen in years.

It made me think about how much we have grown into a very self-centred society – as we seek electronic validation for “finally dumping the idiot” in our search for “the right guy will come along soon, be patient.” I think what amused me was how there seems to be a whole generation of people who think this is how we relate to each other on an intellectual level.

Heck, even in my own circle of people I actually know, I learned my best friend from high school was pregnant (I won’t mention the not-being-married, not-sure-if-the-divorce-is-final status she should put on Facebook) when she changed her little avatar to the ultrasound image of the fetus.

It was just one of those things that made me think we have accepted that we don’t have any real friends other than the wireless gadget that vibrates in our pocket every time someone IMs or Tweets us.

I see it in my own children, whose friends continually send friend-requests to me – even though I have a reputation of “strict Mom” – because it is more cool in their preteen circuit to have hundreds of online “friends” than it is to head to the park and play a pickup game of soccer or ball hockey with real boys and girls.

As a society, it seems we have become so fixed on our electronic popularity that we will reach out to almost anyone whose name we recognize. (Which reminds me; Johnny Depp, if you are reading this, you haven’t accepted my friend request just yet …)

In a twisted way, I had to laugh when I heard the news that ESPN had fired one of its employees – I think they term they used was “parted company with” – for her deceit in creating a fake following on Twitter in order to seem more “networked” than she was. The woman purchased a followers list from someone else, immediately boosting her own cyber popularity by 1,000 accounts. And I say accounts, because there is no factual evidence to suggest that the package actually included live, breathing organisms.

Followbots continually show up in my Twitter account – and are not hard to identify because they don’t actually “tweet.” They can’t because there is no real person behind the account to offer randomly, amusing sexually suggestive statistics like I tend to share. So, when reviewing who follows me, I can usually determine that if you have a sexy porn star image for an avatar, follow exactly 1,583 others (much like yesterday’s new follower under a different name but the same porn star avatar), have gained 619 followers but have never tweeted a single tweet that you are probably not a living, breathing frustrated bicurious female with a labradoodle and paying way too much in rent.

The Internet – as I believe in all my naïveté – is not meant to be the mechanism through which we solidify relationships with others. It’s a nice toy to occasionally reach out and touch people who we may be geographically distant from, but to notify my mother that I just had a bowel movement by posting on her wall … yeah, not so much.

And social media is already to blame for so much that is anti-social; as a society we are learning how to disconnect ourselves from interacting with those around us in favour of electronic toys that can share our message with cute little emoticons. I guess it is too much trouble to actually smile at someone else.

On top of that, this so-called “social” tool has dulled our ability to sift through what should be private and what should be public. I can imagine the shifting of the planets that would occur if I actually used my personal Facebook account to update my status with my occasionally naughty exploits. Maybe what Facebook needs are some more realistic relationship status options:

• Married with a hall pass
• Decidedly against members of the opposite sex
• Currently engaged … in something exceptionally kinky
• Singularly responsible for someone’s divorce proceedings 

Anyway, since most of you on here don’t get to be “social” with the real mind behind the madness, count yourself lucky. As Brad Paisley sang “I’m so much cooler online.”

Andee     xoxo

Sex | Seriously, It's Just A Number

Every now and then, I hear the occasional “bit of advice” about not asking about a person’s sexual history. I guess I am a bit of an unusual case because, honestly, I want to know … and please feel free to use some graphic descriptions. I see it as an important part of who my partner is. These were experiences that were real and important to them at a point in their life. On top of that, who’s to judge whether or not I might learn something from it that might help me bring them more happiness.

When I saw a few messages this week when I checked my email, I figured what would be better than to expose some intimate detail about my own history. So, here’s a Formspring Friday question that I certainly liked on the subject of sexual mileage:

Do you think your friends would guess that you have slept with more or less people than you actually have?

For anyone who knows me – the real me behind Andee – they would probably guess pretty darn close to the truth. My circle of close friends know my husband and I have been in a very committed relationship for a long time … 22 years, in fact. They also know my age, which when using simple math would tell them that I was pretty young when I started dating him. The assumption would be that, given my age when we started dating, it would have taken me out of the dating pool for part of high school and all of college.

Assuming I also behaved 100% while maintaining a long-distance relationship for almost two years.

Having said that, I think that a good number of them would under-guess the truth because they may not really know about some of the sexual antics that my hubby and I have enjoyed: assuming that we’re not going to say sex only has to be intercourse between a man and a woman. There have been a few very enjoyable nights and afternoons of healthy, sweaty sexual activity that just didn’t reach the point of traditional intercourse between me and another man.

So that might cloud the issue. I know that for some of my friends south of the border, there has been some debate on whether or not a little oral action qualifies as “sexual relations.” But what’s a blowjob or pussy-licking between friends, right?

And do women count as sexual partners?

Ooh, the depth of it all!

Now, I think that some of my other more casual friends and coworkers might over-estimate the number of sexual partners I have had, given the occasional flashes of sexual confidence that exude from me. And I’m sure that, based on the kind of things I do share with them about my marriage, they might think I have a bit of a track record of experience.

Regardless, I am a big believer in quality sexual relations over quantity.

So, just to make things a bit fun, I have decided to turn my blog poll into your chance to “guess” the number of sexual partners I have had. I’m going to leave it wide open for you and say that I personally consider oral sex to be sex … besides, it helps with the stats.

Once the poll is done, I’ll confess all to you … plus it gives me a week to pad the numbers just in case!

Andee     xoxo

Why Not Talk About Past Lovers

I’m pretty sure that you have figured out by now that I tend to be a bit of an open book when it comes to the sexual side of my life. Well, I am on here anyway.

I just think it’s a much more intriguing and entertaining topic when it comes to something to talk about. Plus, why should we feel so afraid of sex as a subject? Imagine how much more exciting life would be if instead of making small talk about nonsensical things like the weather, we could stand in the elevator and ask “So … get laid last night?”

But even when it does come to talking about sex, there are certain topics that remain “off limits.” Almost every relationship expert says not to discuss previous sexual partners. They suggest that those things, as they are intimate details of someone’s past, should remain secrets locked away for all eternity.

I don’t know … I can’t say I really agree with that idea too much.

I don’t have a crowd of skeletons in my closet when it comes to past lovers … but as I said last week, I like to think that the experiences we have had with previous sexual partners help define who we are as sexual beings. We have been able, through those intimate moments, to gain a better understanding of what we like, what we don’t like, what we’re good at and what we may have been missing when we finally meet that partner who is that much better!

Plus, I subscribe to the belief that those past experiences – for the most part – are not something we need to be ashamed of. Parachute pants and big hair in the 80s, yes … but life experiences, not so much. Of course, I am referring to experiences that have not led to emotional or physical scars – and as I get older, I realize that I was fortunate in that my past lovers were relatively average; no serial killers, closet psychopaths or Backstreet Boy tribute band members.

Maybe it is part of the kinky side of me, but I like to know about what has gone on in my partner’s previous relationships. Not so much from a nosy side, but recognizing that surely there must have been something they enjoyed and made them happy, so what is that – and is it something that I might be able to bring to our relationship to make it even better?

The real kinky side of me likes to hear, in graphic detail, some of those moments that I wasn’t there for. It’s almost like a bit of personal erotica.

But am I going to dress up in things like they did? Probably not. But if there was some fun and exciting positions that might not be a regular feature in our sex life, I might be willing to indulge and bring a smile to your face.

And there is the other side to it, as well. As lovers, we all want to know how we stack up to the previous notches on the bedpost. Call it ego, but from a somewhat kinky perspective … just what is it she did with her tongue to make your eyes roll back into your head?

One thing I do believe when it comes to sharing information about other lovers is knowing when the time is right. Communication is hugely important, and there is nothing wrong with sharing some of those life experiences – you just have to pick your moments. But if you talk a lot, you’ll know. If you don’t talk a lot, you might want to start.

Andee     xoxo