January 7, 2011

Bisexuality | When It All Came Out

Hey guys! I got into a pretty intriguing chat last night and so this is kind of long. It sure seems like I’ve raised some online friends’ level of curiosity by discussing my own sexual curiosities … and how some have become realities.

I can’t really pinpoint when it was that I became aware of my own desire to try something with another woman. In a way, I kind of grew into that as I went along in life. I think the first time I really remember thinking about another was in college … like so many other things. It’s the time when we are out from Mom and Dad’s watchful eye - and for me, growing up on a farm, it was the first time I lived in a major city. So naturally, my late teens/early 20s were about discovery in a lot of different ways.

It was also the time when I lived with a bunch of people my own age that weren’t related and didn’t care what time I came home at night. But other than a few moments of very bland sexual exploration (in hind sight) there wasn’t any wild, raging orgies going on.

I have no problem saying I wish my generation was as sexually open and expressive as today’s college set. We might have been almost close, but not quite.

Anyway, it wasn’t really until I had settled into my marriage that I began to get in touch with a lot of my fantasies. Being in a stable, loving relationship allowed me to express certain ideas and feelings without fear of judgment … and my husband has always had a unique way of bringing out some of my deepest thoughts and allowing me to share them without jealousy.

As I sat down to plot this blog out, my husband and I had quite a talk over this one. I know that I have said I'm one of those women who has a level of curiosity, but the truth is, it's pretty much directed at a really select couple of women. These are people I know very well, who know and share the same thoughts as I do on it, but who I also don't see that much anymore, sadly.

The first time I acted on what was going on in my mind was with a friend I used to work with. And as cliché, or Penthouse Letters as it sounds, the opportunity to give it my best “Katy Perry” came when, one weekend, we went away to a conference and spent the first night getting quite naughty.

It started pretty innocently, as we were getting ready to spend a bit of time before dinner in the hotel's hot tub. At the time I had one of my nipples pierced (save that for another blog). I'm standing there in the hotel room in my bikini bottoms, getting ready to put the top on and she noticed my piercing. She asked me the usual "did it hurt, when did you get it" and I told her about the ring that my husband bought me. It has a small Playboy bunny logo on it. She came over to me to look, and without warning, she put her hand on my naked breast and touched my nipple with her finger. She leaned very close to see the logo and I could feel her breath on my breast. It was one of the very surreal moments when everything stops. The feel of her hand on my naked breast was very exciting; and she knew it.

I closed my eyes as she very delicately touched the ring and my nipple started to get hard. My mind was going crazy. Keep in mind, this was the first time anyone other than my husband had explored my piercing, and the first time in a long time that anyone other than him had fondled my naked breast. The sensation was unbelievable. In my head I was wondering if she was going to get real close ... hoping in a way that she was going to take my now hard nipple into her mouth. Her face was only inches away and I was more than willing.

She moved closer to me and kept her hand on my breast, with my swollen nipple rubbing lightly against the palm of her hand. Still without saying anything she took her other hand and lightly started to brush against my muff through my bikini bottoms. She just looked deep into my eyes with this unbelievable stare.

I have no problem saying that she could have totally taken me right then and there. Had she said lets get undressed and skip the hot tub, I would have bowed to her every request. I was just starting to truly feel my bi-curiousity in a real life moment, and not just words with my husband and "what if...." I was ready and good heavens, I didn't need the water in the hot tub to get my bathing suit wet.

I closed my eyes, and let out that little sigh that says "I'm all yours" and leaned into her. I put my head on her shoulder and let her fondle me as much as she wanted. She just lightly ran her fingers across my pussy over the fabric of my bathing suit, and then to the inside of my thigh.

As she continued to touch me, I kissed her neck. She took my cue, and next thing you know, we were teasing each other’s mouth with our tongues in a very hot French kiss

She was still wearing her panties and her work shirt. I ran my hand up over one of her breasts and onto her other shoulder. In a way I was trying to give her the hint that this was really OK and maybe she should really be doing a lot more to me that playing on top of my bathing suit.

And as quick as it happened, it stopped. We still didn't say anything to each other, and she simply moved away from me and put her bathing suit on. I was still soaking up the sensations as I watched her change into her suit. She has the nicest little breasts I've seen ... nice and perky and her nipples were also very hard by the point.

We got into our swimsuits, down to the hot tub and then spent quite a bit of time talking about our feelings on the whole bisexual thing. She was very open about it, and had already “dabbled.” It was the first time I had ever discussed feeling the way I did with someone other than my sister (who, when I did try to talk about it, honestly looked like she just wanted to throw up - she’s never shed the Catholic morality brainwash). The poor guys who joined us in the tub halfway through the conversation must have been left feeling a little ... uh ... you know ;-) These days things may have turned out different, but I’m sure they spent a lot of their weekend trying to track us down for a few drinks.

Later that evening, we had quite a bit to drink at the kick-off party and really got raunchy on the dance floor. A lot of people at the conference thought we were a couple. Even the next year at the same event people were still going on about “those two from ####.” By the time we got back to our room that night, we were both feeling really randy. Sadly, the booze kicked in and I passed out on the bed while waiting for her to finish in the bathroom. I have no idea what was taking her so long in there ...

The next day we were definitely in no condition for any further exploration, and since then we've not had any of that opportunity come up again between us. I regret the missed chance, but I know if it's meant to be for her and I, it will be. As for me, I have definitely moved on, but I would love to get this friend alone once again - with a little less drinking and a lot less clothing.

But do I think most women have a bi-curious streak? No. I've met lots of women who have said they could never, nor would they, explore that way. The social stigma is a huge reason why I keep a lot that to myself in everyday life. But I do think that it is easier for a woman to be bi than a guy. For some reason, society just is more accepting of two women than two guys.


Snake said...

Yes, if it's meant to be, it will be . . . You're absolutely correct, it is far more acceptable and common for women to express that side than men . . . I have a theory . . . :) Then again, I could be wrong . . .

Anonymous said...

Sounds very much like my experience. The unexpected moment turning a sensual experience that left me wanting more and wanting to discover more about myself.

H said...

WoW, so well writen. My opinion we are all bi, its just a matter of degree and the individuals personality allowing them to act on their inner desires. Religion has really turn bi into a very bad thing. You don't have to look to far into the past, anytime before the roman catholic church established it's dominance, and humans did not distinguish between male/female as much when it comes to sex.

For example, the romans, greek armies, etc, etc., lot of bi going on back then... hell, its natural.

now with that said, I don't think I could do a dude however, but maybe a MFM......

Jessi W. said...

I had not read this before and I think this was extremely well said Andee. I have often wondered why female bisexuality is so much more openly discussed. My final verdict: We still live in a male dominated world (unfortunately) and this is one of their most basic fantasies, probably enforced by the pornography aspect of the visual stimulation men seem to need. I have often wondered if my husband would ever try it if I pressed him hard enough. His absolute position as sexually straight kept me from even trying. If he dosen't want to I am ok with that. I am driven to bisexuality from my own desires and not his. It is the most sensual form of sex I know of.