Dancing Towards a New Career?

Some time ago, I wrote about how the laws had changed where I live regarding work visas for exotic dancers. The government clamped down on granting such visas to foreign women who come to Canada to earn a living as a stripper. The strip club owners, in turn, made a big splash about how this would limit the number of available dancers for their stages, and how they would now be forced to recruit young college-age women to fill the need.

On and off, the conversation around this has continued among some of my coworkers – surfacing recently when one went off on a rant about how her husband joined his friends for a few drinks at one. That rant is best saved for another day, but regardless, I always enjoy when these topics begin swirling around because I can occasionally shock the shit out of people by chiming in with an opinion they surely didn’t expect.

Well, you have to amuse yourself somehow …

All of this reminded me of an article I read a couple years ago about how in this economic struggle we are in, some women are turning to exotic dancing and adult entertainment as a way to make ends meet. The lure of a potential annual income of $100,000 to $300,000 annually in some of the premier men’s clubs – even in tough times – appears to be too much to resist.

I think I also shared way back then about how, given the right opportunity, blend of alcohol and distance from my home, I might be encouraged to get up for an amateur night. Now, far from being judgmental about it, I did find it interesting to read because it is something that tells what I see as a bigger reality out there. If you consider that this current recession is the first one to occur at a time when women are truly independent. Even some 20 years ago – when I was but a wee girl – the mentality wasn’t nearly as accepting. Not that I would suggest it has changed dramatically, because I am certain that many of these ladies are still facing the scorn of a drunken crowd … and a few angry wives.

But it is intriguing because, at a moment in time when the idea of “amateur” holds a particular appeal, here are housewives, bank tellers and former corporate types, doffing their panties on stage and shaking what Momma gave them.

The article said clubs, adult magazines and porn producers are seeing an influx of applications from women who have college educations and were previously well employed. Some have even used their past as part of their onstage personas to underscore the changes … and appeal to that certain fetish about seeing the boss in her business suit strip down.

I know it works for me when I get all dressed up in professional attire and reveal teasing glimpses of naughtiness under my hemline. And I love how my Office Guys react when I put on my best suit for work.

I suppose for some, the idea may seem somewhat desperate. But given that all of us – men and women – get naked at least once a day for free, is it so bad to try to make the best of the moment and benefit financially? I’m not sure I have an answer, but I can see the appeal … just from my own experience I have noticed that more and more of the guys I have talked to like the idea of “amateur” over “professional.” There’s just something more erotic about seeing the “real girl next door” naked than the one’s airbrushed and pretending they could live on your street.

Andee     xoxo

Sex | What I Like In Porn

Had you asked me a dozen years ago if I ever imagined myself being even remotely involved in the “adult entertainment business,” I would have scoffed and said “not a chance.” Obviously, with the passing of a few years, my thoughts on that have changed dramatically.

I don’t think many women ever grow up dreaming to be in porn; although I suspect more than a few of the younger generation are much more willing to exploit it for what they can these days.

That said, I still don’t consider myself to be a “porn star” of any kind. Quite honestly, I’m just a “girl-next-door” with a slightly kinky and anonymously public hobby. And some days I’m not sure that we’re even really remarkable at doing that much. My website isn’t exceptionally dynamic – the images and some of the content I post there are unique to me, but I know there are other sites offering way more than I do. I guess how I do see my site is that you get the chance to slip away from the “air-brushed perfection” of most Playboy models and get to see the reality of a very normal Canadian woman.

That is really the premise of “amateur porn.” Yes, as a model my hobby does bring in a little extra disposable income; but trust me, there are no plans for me to retire to the glamourous shores of southern France. Amateur porn has certain grown in popularity and availability thanks to the Internet. And technology has also helped improve the quality of what we can offer. My very first “naughty” photos ever taken were on the “hush hush” platform of Polaroid!

And so, from a model and participants perspective, I have been able to see how the secret world of Internet porn has changed over the past several years.

As I get to know a few of my fans – and truly some have become longtime online friends – the question seems to occasionally come back to me about the kind of “porn” that captures my attention from the “consumer” side.

I was in my teens when I first saw any mainstream porn. My parents were among the first to install one of the original satellite dishes, and with the programming package came Playboy TV. My brother certainly was thrilled! And, I don’t mind admitting that I also enjoyed some of the shows from a “curious” perspective. I certainly saw a lot of things that made me go “hmm” and even a few that made me go “mmm.”

But as I grew up, and became more sexually open and adventurous, mainstream porn didn’t really appeal to me. Like a lot of women, I found it was generally about some fake-titted blonde getting hammered by all kinds of men over the span of about 90 minutes. After about five minutes, even the best of these “epics” tend to become routine. I wanted something that had a plot – or at least something close to a plot.

What I wanted from porn was something to engage my imagination. As much as I would like to think getting pounded by six different guys on the office desk would be sexually fun, watching an actress fake her way through 90 minutes of supposedly amazing sex just for the sake of getting pounded by six different guys in black socks doesn’t capture my imagination.

I then discovered a whole new line of porn, made by women for women. The getting pounded on the office desk scenario came with a story that helped set the stage for a fantasy I could almost believe in.

And that’s really where I want my porn to go … I love watching the sex, but I want to enjoy a little mind fuck along the way. I want to know how and why she ends up on the desk, and what is it that makes her lust for that moment. Women need to have that level of attachment to the moment – we need to be able to imagine ourselves in that setting, and we need to understand the reasons behind it. We don’t want to be just a receptacle for a bunch of muscled male actors who never seem to understand that leaving your socks on for sex looks damn silly.

Andee     xoxo

TMI Tuesday | Pain & Humiliation

Unless you have been living in a straw shack in the forest for the past few months, you'll know that it's been virtually impossible to escape the literary phenomenon that is Fifty Shades of Grey. The book, and you already know my take on it's literary value, has dominated conversations from coast to coast and beyond – plus raised a new interest in people exploring their sexual fantasies.

For me, personally, the book did provide a pleasant distraction from the realities around me ... but I also tend to be a voracious reader and power through a book in a matter of days. I can't say the subject matter in the E.L. James trilogy changed my mind about the world of submission and domination, but it wasn't completely uninspiring for a few fun experiences in the bedroom – and a new set of wrist restraints from my hubby.

Anyway, in keeping with those thoughts, this week our TMI Tuesday theme touches on the world of bdsm, pain, and humiliation ... a la Fifty Shades.

1. I enjoy the idea that my partner want to inflict pain on me that:

    a. Makes me curious

    b. Is titillating and sexually arousing

    c. That leaves me screaming and/or crying because that’s the way I like it

If any, I would lean towards b), titillating and sexually arousing. I think I’m just a little beyond the “curious” stage in my sexual experience – which has also firmly placed me in the category of not being someone who gets off on any kind of sex act that involves screaming in pain or crying.

I think a consensual level of restraint and force can be erotic and exciting … perhaps a hint of spanking harder than a love tap, biting in the right spots and the right moments. One of my more popular videos – Sex Toy Punishment – hints at forced, not-exactly-consensual sex. And not that long ago, I blogged about my fantasy to be “forced” into sex; but right now there are some issues with my partner in fantasy crimes over his beliefs on being aggressive in such a fashion. Most days his thoughtful and gentlemanly nature is a virtue … but there’s the occasional day I wouldn’t mind him being a forceful sexual deviant. Just for fun, of course.

2. Do you like being forced to dress or act in a way that is humiliating? If yes, please describe. If no, why not?

Humiliation has never been anything of a turn-on for me. Outside of my sexual adventure and the fun stuff I escape to on here, I have spent the better part of my oldest son's academic life dealing with continued bullying. And when you see just how much the actions of others can tear another person down for no reason other than to make themselves appear better, you recognize that nothing positive comes from it. So when I see someone who is being subjected to verbal abuse, degradation and ridicule – even in the realm of sexual excitement – it upsets me terribly. In my own personal space, sex is meant to build someone up; to boost their confidence, share sense of intimacy and stoke the fires of passion and desire. So, with that in mind, to erode someone’s self-esteem at the expense of some twisted sexual game has just never been my thing.

3. Do you like seeing bruises, scars or marks that were caused during sex on either you or your partner? What kind of marks?

Along the same lines of emotional pain, physical pain is just not a sexual delight for me. Even as a teenager, I always found the “badges of lust” such as hickeys to be a little off-putting. Thankfully I never really dated anyone that found them to be part of the “rites of passage” in youthful passion.

Personally, outside of maybe the occasional mishap, and one time when the handcuffs were too tight for too long, the only sexual marks I can think of that had any lasting visibility was some rug burn … on my knees … use your imagination from here on in.

4. Would you liked to be forced to do sexual things that you don’t necessarily like to do? Yes or no?

I think it all depends on the situation, and to the degree of “sexual things.” Is it something that is going to challenge the limits of my relationship and trust with my partner? Then no. In reality, my mind has to be into the whole moment – even with some of those things that don’t rank high on my list of orgasm-inducing interludes.

5. Do you want to be forced to watch your lover with someone else? Yes, no, or it depends.

I think this is probably one of the kinky areas of my sexual psyche that I am willing to explore and accept quite openly. The downside is that it wouldn’t be all that “forced” because I would love to see my husband with another woman. And having said that, I am extremely confident in saying I don’t have to worry about being forced to watch him with another man – neither of us are into the male-on-male scene.

I have a fun fantasy about being restrained in a chair set beside the bed and only being able to watch as he and another woman have sex. I get exceptionally turned on by the idea of watching him do all kinds of naughty things to her, and her doing all kinds of naughty things to him … maybe every now and then they stop doing what they are doing and force me to have a taste or one of them gives me a wet, deep tongue kiss right after they have been giving the other person some oral. Yowza, serious masturbatory moments in those thoughts.

6. What dirty (sometimes inappropriate) things do you like to say to your sexual partner?

I can’t honestly say that our sex talk goes anywhere particularly inappropriate. We both love to mind fuck with each other while we are in the moment, but more times than not, it involves the sexual fantasies we have shared openly with each other. Name calling is very rare – again because we both view sex as being something to build up each other, and to recognize the passions, desires and naughty thoughts we have. It’s just never been our thing to degrade or belittle just for the sake of taking the sex to a raunchier place.

BONUS: Finish this statement: I like being powerful in bed because it reminds me that I can be a sexual equal; and that there is nothing wrong with being a woman who enjoys being something more than the recipient of his sexual interests.

Andee     xoxo

Fantasy | 500 Words on Fifty Shades

Recently, I have been getting my Grey on … as in reading the bestselling trilogy Fifty Shades of Grey. I won’t get into the debate over the literary reviews the series has received … because, quite frankly, too many people are making too much of the books.

Yes, they are quite graphic. No, they won’t rank among the best literature ever produced. But I’m not sure that’s what is intended anyway. The books are meant to entertain, amuse – maybe fuel the libido a little – and provoke questions in the minds of the readers. They are not meant to rest upon a shelf beside Hardy, Hemingway and Shakespeare.

The books delve into the sexual kinks of the two main characters, and the lead male’s particularly fondness for BDSM. The young female, inexperienced in sex, struggles with the dominant/submissive lifestyle – which makes up for a whole chunk of the plotline between the two. Unlike others of the same genre – delightfully labeled “mommy porn” by those aspiring novelists working at newspapers across the continent – Fifty Shades reaches a deeper into the sexual psychology between characters.

One of the successful elements author E.L. James has touched on is that slightly over 1/3 of women have fantasies of being dominated by their partner. That I find more intriguing …

In a 2011 survey, 35% of women listed “being dominated by a boyfriend/husband” as their number one fantasy.

I can’t say the idea ranks as my top fantasy, but I am certainly intrigued.

One of the biggest challenges for me would be the surrendering of control enough to be considered a submissive; but I am also now sure that I am particularly suited for a dominant role either. In my real life, I find a balance between the two. I’m also not particularly into “role playing” for sex, although I have certainly tried it.

While the real aficionados will say that this is not so much about role play, but about bringing forward those repressed desires, I see it as something beyond what my imagination is ready for at this point. I don’t know if I really have any “repressed desires” that involve submission. And sadly, I think the “repressed desires” I have on the dominant side don’t involve using those floggers in a sexual way. Let’s set those aside as “occasional homicidal desires” for when certain bitches want to interfere in my life.

I suspect most women, when they are suggesting this is their biggest fantasy, have the idea of light bondage in mind: being tied down with his silk ties, being teased while blindfolded and hearing him describe really naughty things as he torments her physically. The idea of trustingly surrendering control – even though it may be just the binding of our hands – is the titillation. I don’t imagine in this survey, a St. Andrew’s cross is what they really have in mind.

For me, an idea to be explored … perhaps? Maybe my own brilliant Fifty Shades of Andee for some bedtime reading!

Andee     xoxo

 

Life | Sometimes It Shows Up

You know, it’s kind of funny – in not a “ha ha” way – how some days life shows up and reminds you that you should be living it. I had a whole thought process going this morning on what I was going to write about to start my week off, plugging along nicely with some visions in my mind, when I got a text from my hubby to tell me that someone near and dear to us lost their mother.

Now, I have made the focus of my blog to be about all the great things in life – the naughty thoughts, erotic fantasies, my deepest desires and wildest moments.

As I reflect on how sad our friend will be today and the tears that will certainly be shed, I am turning to my little escape here to remind myself, and maybe a few of you, that our time here is pretty precious. We all-to-often get so caught up in our moments of self-importance and petty jealousies that we forget to live. We lose time that we could have spent pursuing greater adventures by planting our feet firmly on the ground on refusing budge over matters that really only matter to someone else.

Then moments like this arise and we are drawn back to the reality of how fragile life can be.

The thing is: we all reach points in life when we need to go through a little soul-searching and internal house-cleaning. We have to ask ourselves “what is it that holds us back?”

Life seems to be too attached to the pursuit of how others think we should live. Too often we end up with regrets and moments of “I wish I had when I had the chance.”

My past year, as I started a few new things in my life and refreshed my passion for some old ones, has been an exceptional adventure. It has taken some conscious thought to shed some of the hang-ups that have existed, and there are still many to be challenged as I pursue turning some fantasies into realities.

I don’t think I have the perfect answer for me just yet. If I did, my sexual adventure would be complete by now. But, then again, in moments like this I am thankful that I at least have my heels on the highway.

Andee     xoxo

Porn | Why Women Are Looking

I was surfing around looking for some information for those sex-stats Tweets that I like to throw at you guys on a frequent basis and I came across this on why women like porn. Now, it’s kind of a weird thing for me. I don’t look at porn all that much – but as you know, I spend a portion of my private life posing for it. So, the idea of women and porn is a bit twisted for me.

I make no secret of my passion for well-written erotica, and enjoy spending an evening curled up in my reading chair with a really steamy book. It has fueled so many of my fantasies … and cost me probably hundreds of dollars in batteries.

Now, having said that, I recognize that with the Internet playing such a huge role in our lives today, access is extremely easy and we’re not really all that different from guys. We have our kinks. We just may not be as open about letting you know that we do.

In one thing I read on the subject, I found this: Psychotherapist Phillip Hodson, of the British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy, says that in consulting rooms, the issue of woman habitually using porn "is something that has not been aired before. It's something new that's just beginning to surface … Traditionally women's voices have been against porn. It's seen as more of a male thing, because it's men who are supposed to be visually stimulated. But that doesn't mean that women aren't. Men are just maybe more so."

So, more women are doing it … and on thefrisky.com I found blogger Susannah Breslin had come up with 10 reasons why. I thought it would be great to share:

1. Curiosity. A girlfriend of mine calls this the “freak show factor.” Personally, I think there is something about pornography that is a bit like a freak show. I mean, people look kind of weird naked and doing it. We’ve come a long way, baby, but there is a degree to which watching porn is still a taboo for women, and that can be its own turn-on.

2. To Get Off. Women and men may be from different planets, but they are both prone to the occasional masturbation session, and it is for that express purpose porn was designed. Generally, I believe women are more likely to choose mental fantasies over visual aids, but there are many women who are as visual as men and men who are as fantasy-oriented as women.

3. Learn New Moves. We can’t all be Stormy Daniels, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have sex like porn stars if we aspire to do so. Whether we’re bored with the current state of our sex lives, looking to bust out a new move on a special occasion, or have yet to perfect the fine art of fellatio, porn can, uh, come in, er, handy as an, um, “educational tool.”

4. Comparison Shopping. People are always yapping about how competitive men are. I have yet to meet a man who is as quietly competitive as a woman. Because a fair amount of us can’t quite make up our minds whether or not to love the body Mother Nature gave us, sometimes we watch porn to compare ourselves to other women. When the competition is surgically enhanced, that challenge can get a little tricky. But women also watch porn to compare their sexual partners to other men. Do they measure up? Depends.

5. Ogle Guys. You know what there isn’t enough of in this world? Shirtless, bottomless, and shirtless and bottomless men. Seriously! Naked chicks? Everywhere you look. If we can’t get to the beach, we might have to visit HotNudeDudes.com, stat.

6. Kill Time. Why does one of my female coworkers watch porn? “To kill time before you can start a DVR’d, hour-long episode of a TV show without having to watch any commercials.” She is nothing if not efficient.

7. Get in the Mood. Several women I spoke with about their personal porn usage used the term “jump start.” If she’s getting ready to go out on a big date, or if her partner is on the way over for a roll in the hay, women use adult movies to get their motor runnin’. It’s like foreplay. Except you’re having sex with the Internet instead of another human being.

8. It’s His. Probably, this one should be higher up on the list. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if this was the second most common reason women watch porn. Suffice to say, many women who stumble upon their man’s porn collection may have taken a peek at it. Or, you know, spent the next several hours watching it. In some cases, someone else’s porn can tell you a lot about them.

9. Explore Secret Fantasies. If a woman isn’t comfortable sharing her sexual fantasies, she may turn to porn to experience them vicariously. It could be something as simple as spanking, yet she may feel awkward telling her square-as-a-peg husband that she wants to play naughty. Porn never judges.

10. Penises. Newsflash: Penises are weird. I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again. We don’t have them. We will never totally understand them. Porn is a penis show.

Well, as for me ... how just because I want to. I figure that is good enough reason. I already do more than enough in the rest of my life to be psycho-analyzed.

Andee     xoxo

 

My Blog | Some Sexy New Additions

Hey guys, so I enlisted the help of my I.T. specialist to add a few new things to my blogging experience. I have no idea if some of them will mean much to anyone, but hey ... someone suggested a couple new concepts to me and I am running naked through the chilly Canadian streets with them!

Ok, maybe not really running naked through the streets ... but I think you probably like the idea.

For anyone who is really into the techno side of life, I have this thing that looks like a big pixel smudge on here now. I guess they are called QR codes and I have no idea how they really work, but what I do know is that if you have a scanning program, it will take you to my website, which is kind of cool. Now, I am being a little sarcastic in that ... I do know that these new things work like a barcode. Anyway, they seem to be the latest thing for helping people get around the Internet, and I have one to call my own. Just don't expect me to get a tattoo of it any time soon.

Also, with my lust for well-written erotica, and my frequent mentioning of how much I like to read, it seems that some of you want to write some just for me. I always appreciate anyone who takes the time to put their creative juices to work, and so I have created a whole new blog just for those erotic stories. If naughty words gets you going, I hope you will take the time to slip on over to this newest chapter in my sexual adventure. Just to make it easy, I've added a link!

Have an awesome weekend!

Andee     xoxo

Sex | Education Between The Covers

Can you say insanely busy? I am so sorry guys, I wanted to start out the second year of blogging on a much more frequent note, but for some reason, things have just gone nutty around here.

Try My Own Sex Book

Of course, a frantic pace in real life means my fantasy life also suffers a bit.

Back a few weeks ago, I was chatting with a friend about keeping things exciting and fresh in the bedroom, and he asked me if I was the kind of person who did a little “research” when it came to sex … and in particular if I read and learned anything from sex books?

That I’m doing it wrong…?

Maybe not … but outside of a couple intriguing ideas to add a little spice, there wasn’t much in the way of ‘education’ in most of the ones I have read. I’m not really the kind of woman that goes for the dangling from chandeliers kind of sex. Something that is going to require me to place my left ankle behind my right ear might have been fun when I was, say, 18 … but these days I have figured out all the positions that really rock my body and I’m alright with my own personal abbreviated Kama Sutra.

Ok, a bit harsh on the judgment…

My kind of experimentation has never been about how many different ways I can get laid, but more about how many times I can get laid. I haven’t really felt the need to throw out a hip joint just to say “Oh, I did #632 on Saturday.”

Truth be told, I think I’ve gotten more from some of the naughty romance novels I read. The thing is, there have been a couple books my husband and I bought that have been very interesting, but they may be considered more about relationships than the act of sex. My fantasies are built around some relatively common situations. And for those moments when I want to be tied up, it’s not usually that extreme nor does it involve pain and kitchen utensils.

Anyway, the books I was talking about involved a whole bunch of questions that couples should ask each other. And while my hubby and I communicate an awful lot, there were some pretty interesting subjects among the questions that led to even more interesting conversations … and even a bit of experimentation.

One of them was filled with ideas on how to spice up the weekend with some ways to create an atmosphere and help get everyone in the mood, and there were some really fun things in that.

But I would say that the one real thing I have learned from sex books is they make great ice breakers, no matter the content is all about. Whether it’s positions or romancing your partner, just the act of talking about sex makes for a much better relationship overall.

Andee     xoxo

Porn | It Can Be Good For Relationships

As you know, in some of my previous blogs I have been an advocate for pornography in relationships. I don't see it as the great evil and "straight to hell" factor in life. Of course, when you are someone who has an adult website and a series of sex videos, it's kind of hard not to be.

But that is when it is not a complete obsession.

I mean, I hope that when you feel the need, or slight obsession, that I can be a part of it. But at the same time, my naughty little secret is intended to be something that is seen as entertainment and certainly not a deviant part of society and responsible for the downfall of western civilization as we know it.

Yesterday I was reading an article on the Internet about how porn can play a healthy role in a relationship and I had that brief moment of vindication. I do believe that certain kinds of porn can be very useful in helping couples establish a starting point for discussing fantasies, desires, etc.

For example, I knew my husband was a long-time porn enthusiast. I also knew he had a naughty collection on our home computer. One night, when we were having a bit of fun, he pulled out the laptop and opened up some pictures of a threesome scene as he did me from behind. As the sex heated up, he was also fucking my mind, putting my imagination into that scene. Kinky for me at the moment, but he had tapped into one of my biggest fantasies and allowed me to really open up to him about my thoughts.

And over time we have gone back to this same way of sharing and exploring together...sometimes casually using porn to hint at new fantasies.

"The biggest misconception about porn is that it's always degrading and shameful," says Teesha Morgan, a sex therapist in Vancouver. "However, it can also empower women to take control of their sexuality." This isn't to say porn can't cause relationship problems. And this really isn't to say that everyone should watch it, especially if you'd rather not. But if you're so inclined, finding porn you enjoy watching can really heat up your sex life"

The article further states: With the ubiquity of steamy on-demand videos and websites catering to every kink conceivable, porn is more mainstream and more easily (and anonymously) accessible than ever - and guys aren't the only ones tuning in. A study published in 2008 found that nearly one in three women aged 18 to 26 reported using porn (compared to nearly nine in 10 guys in the same age group). Its popularity might be even higher among slightly older women, suggests Debby Herbenick, a research scientist and associate director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University in Bloomington. "I do think, like a lot of things about sex, porn use becomes more common in the mid-20s and 30s - related in part to being in a long-term relationship and wanting to keep things fresh."

And there is certainly nothing wrong with keeping things fresh!

Andee     xoxo

Video Blog | Guys And Porn

 

Lately, hubby and I have been going over some of the questions, comments and e-mails that I have gotten from you guys and have been looking at ways to answer them for you.

In today's video blog installment I dish on my thoughts on why I think men like porn.

According to an Internet usage survey, 26% of male Internet users visited adult websites - while only 3% of women went to these sites.I find both stats kind of low, given how much of it exists on the Internet. I'm also surprised at how low the number is women, but I have never fallen into any particular stereotype apparently. 

Andee     xoxo

 

Overcoming Inhibitions

Not long ago, I was chatting with one of my online friends about the subject of letting go of your inhibitions. He was quite impressed that I had been able to get into this whole adventure because his own wife had so many hang-ups. Of course, I wasn’t really surprised with this friend’s situation. From what I have read - and you know me and those silly statistics from trashy women’s magazines - 45 per cent of guys wants us to be more aggressive in the bedroom.

I’m not sure I have the secret to solving her inhibitions, but I do know that taking those first steps are not that difficult.

The biggest hurdle that we, as women, face in overcoming our bedroom inhibitions is fear. Plain and simple. As we tend to be more emotionally attached to the experience, we also bring a lot of insecurities to new experiences. We’re afraid of rejection; we’re afraid that you might think we’re being silly; we’re afraid of being embarrassed.

There might be issues with past experiences, issues with our own self-image, or maybe just an exceptionally conservative childhood.

And then - trust me - we’re terribly afraid that when we do try something new, no matter what it is or where we learned about it, you will interpret this new thing as “where the hell did you learn that?” Jealousy will kill our willingness to try new things faster than anything else.

The one thing we need is a lot of encouragement and praise.

So, now you have an idea of what’s inside our minds, here are a few ideas that I borrowed and adapted from hotelsexguide.com to help her let go of her fears and build up her self-esteem. And an appropriate source - people are much less inhibited when they are away from home and what better place to let go and be wild than a hotel room.

Help her act less inhibited

Get her to dress in clothes that feel good next to her naked skin and flatter her form. If you want her to be the object of her sexual desires then you need to get over your own and make an investment in her by taking her shopping. Help her pick out the clothing that will allow her to feel, look and be sexy.

Flirt

Encourage her to be flirtatious. Get over the mentality that flirting is dangerous. Flirting is only dangerous if your partner has already made the conscious decision to cheat. If she begins to see that you are allowing her the freedom to be a woman, and the jealousy has faded, you may soon find she is more aroused, more aware, more sexy and ready for whatever comes next.

Study 

She may not have given much thought to what arouses her. Take her to the sexuality section of the bookstore and pick up a copy of The Joy of Sex or one of my favourites from Shayla Black. Buy her an collection or erotica for women by women. Mark the pages of the pictures or stories that titillate or intrigue you to share with your partner later. Learn what feels good, what doesn’t. Now it’s time to ask her to share these discoveries. Oh, and just a little Secret Girl Knowledge from me about the erotica - BUY a book guys, not the Internet.

Sext

This one is my big recommendation. And having spent the past few Fridays sending naughty texts back and forth with my husband, coming home all warmed up and ready for some serious “adult” time, there is nothing better than teasing my mind to get me to open up and be willing to get nasty in a good way. Make love to my mind, and you will reap the rewards.

Talk openly with your partner

As with every part of a relationship, communication is key. This is even truer with sex, especially where inhibitions are an issue. Be prepared to listen without judgement to your partner’s feelings and fantasies. This should be an ongoing dialogue that never stops. Turn-ons evolve as people mature which should keep your repertoire lively over the years.

Trust one another and be trustworthy

Don’t criticize or wince or laugh. Be open to new ideas even if they are outside your own comfort zone; you may discover your partner’s fantasies and desires tap into a whole new world of sensual pleasure that you hadn’t even considered before. Be supportive and understanding of your wife’s hesitations. Don’t pressure her.

And don’t expect miracles … it may take her a long time to overcome some of her fears. What you guys enjoy here from me about my own sexual adventure has taken a journey of 20 years and hours of talking, sharing and discovering.

Andee     xoxo

 

Tool Chest | What A Woman Needs

Hey guys! What a crazy stretch the past week has been … one day off in eight … plus a bit of bad news on my hubby’s side. Makes for a less than sexy time, so I missed a couple days of catching up with all of you. To make it up, how about a relatively rare Saturday blog from me!

I know, I know … I, too, can barely contain my enthusiasm!

For a bit of fun on this wonderful weekend (hey, tomorrow is Father’s Day!), I thought I would invite you into my bedroom this morning (morning sex?) and share some of the things that I believe every woman needs to have at her disposal - and if she has a great partner like you, she will really want to spend some intimate time under the sheets. Admittedly, some of this list is borrowed, but I don’t think you’ll mind.

And so, anyone want to come and do some inventory in my boudoir?

Ten Sex Tools Every Woman Needs

1. A Pillow

A well-placed pillow can help you get into new positions and add sexy variety to old favourites. Try tucking a pillow under your butt in missionary position or put it between your legs while spooning. Of course, it also works the traditional way: under your head. Lately I have been thinking I should talk my hubby into buying one of those Liberator bedroom wedges … they look like a lot of fun!

2. A Vibrator

The question isn't why get a vibrator; it's why not? You can use one on your own to explore what feels good, or with your partner to add a new dimension to sex together. Women who use vibrators report higher levels of sexual satisfaction with their partners, increased libido, and easier orgasms, according to research by Redbook Magazine. My own collection has outgrown my night-stand drawer in the past couple years!

3. A Lube You Love

Not only does lube make everything glide more smoothly, it can also help make sex last longer (because you won't dry out) and make it easier to try different positions. To find one, sample as many as you can. Lube is a very personal thing, and the fun is in finding one that you love and your body loves. Water-based lubes are best if you're worried about allergies, while silicone-based varieties last longer. Mix things up with formulas that tingle or warm, or taste good!

4. Just-for-fun Toys

Whether they're tame (feather ticklers, whipped cream) or not so tame (fuzzy cuffs, whips, bondage straps), playful props add excitement to the mix. My husband installed a 'secret' heater vent to hide the hook for my sex swing when not in use.

5. A Great Sex Book

When it comes to sex, you just can't know too much. That's why it helps to have a sex manual that covers the full gamut, from anatomy to vibrators. Read it over a glass of wine and use it as a conversation starter. One of our favourites is one that requires you to ask each other some pretty unusual questions and tie it back to intimacy.

6. Kegels

Kegel exercises tone and strengthen your pubococcygeal (PC) muscles, also known as your pelvic floor muscles. The stronger those muscles are, the stronger the intensity of orgasm, not just with a partner but by yourself. Exercising these muscles also promotes blood flow and lubrication, which leads to heightened desire and arousal. And you can squeeze your PCs during sex to add to his pleasure and yours — the squeezing action stimulates the hidden inner part of your clitoris. To do basic Kegels, squeeze as if you're stopping the flow of urine, then release. Guys can do them too for better erections…and you all know how I feel about better erections!

7. A CD That Turns You On

Everyone knows that great music can set the tone for a romantic evening. But guys, when going for the panty-remover music, keep in mind that the latest release from your favourite death metal band may get you stoked, but press pause for a moment and ask what songs put her in the mood. I’m willing to bet guitar anthems about dead puppies are not on the list.

8. Sexy Lingerie

Wearing lingerie helps me look, feel, and think sexy.  It doesn't have to be from Frederick's of Hollywood to be arousing. Get her to wear whatever makes her feel sexy and self-assured, whether it's a cami and boy shorts, a satin gown and sexy heels, or a push-up bra and a thong. You can also use clothing to experiment with different roles. Need some ideas? Stop by my website to see me in, literally, thousands of different pics … and in some I even have clothes on!

9. Erotica

Erotica can get you in the mood, keep you in the mood, and spark a lifetime of creative ideas to try out with your partner. And by "erotica" I mean any material that jump-starts your arousal and helps you plug into your fantasies — a sexy movie, an erotic story, an X-rated flick, even a good old-fashioned romance novel. I just recently finished a couple books by erotica writer Shayla Black, and they were marvellously steamy and gave me some very hot thoughts. Find movies that are for women by women. It will help erase that "porn" stereotype from her mind. I really enjoy the stuff produced by former porn star Candida Royalle, hot guys, hot girls and a storyline.

10. Honesty

You can't slip it under your pillow or into your bedside drawer, but honesty might just be the most important tool of all. Communication is the key ...

Hope you're having an awesome day guys! I'm off to buy some new batteries this afternoon ...

Andee     xoxo

Fantasies | When They Become Reality

When you were young, did you have one of those “must haves” in life, where you saw something – a toy, a bike, a video game – and you just had to have it? You would go to bed every night and fall asleep dreaming about it, trying to figure out exactly how you would come to acquire it. And then when you got what you wanted so badly, you were actually disappointed because it didn’t live up to your expectations?

Is three really company ... or just the beginning?

I compare a lot of fantasies to that idea when people ask about mine. Over the past five months I have spent a lot of time putting together my wildest dreams and sexual fantasies into this blog, so I get the chance to revisit them quite often and keep them fresh in my mind. Fantasies in life – be they sexual or magical – are healthy and important to have. They help keep the imagination alive, the libido high, and actually reduce stress by allowing our minds to drift, shut out reality and unclutter.

But I was having a deep chat the other night with an online friend about chasing fantasies and what happens when I actually get to turn one of my own into reality. I had just finished ready this incredibly erotic novel and I don't mind saying, it fueled a desire to chase a few more myself!

Not Always Perfect
When you have a fantasy, especially a sexual one, it plays out perfectly in your mind. The awkwardness and human complications of the moment never really come to the surface. For example, I know a lot of guys fantasize about sexually enjoying two women at the same time. And while those are some pretty hot dreams, what might really play out in the whole scene is someone will get left out. What happens if that blonde you have been dreaming about feels so incredible that you are left unable to complete the same act with her super-sexy brunette friend? Or what if you suddenly find out that your two friends would rather you just sit back and enjoy the show while the get their own fantasies fulfilled?

Hey, these are things that happen in reality!

The guys I know who have shared this idea with me have an answer ready … but I think you know what I am getting at. Does your fantasy have you rocking these two hot babes all night and your reality have you lasting a little less than that? That is what happens when sexual fantasies become realities … someone is bound to finish a little sooner than someone else. It doesn’t mean it’s the end of the fantasy, it just means a sexual partner with a good imagination will come prepared for more options.

We have pursued one of my big fantasies a couple different times. And for me, while you might say the fantasy has become reality, truth be told it hasn’t entirely made that full transition. There is still very much of my fantasy attached to the ideas that we dabbled with … and maybe some day will work towards again. Or at least, I hope.

When you reach the point of involving other people physically in your sex life, a lot of the preconceived notions need to be done away with, and the moment enjoyed for what it is. Sometimes achieving a sexual fantasy may mean going back to the bedroom a few times to accomplish all those ideas you had in mind to begin with. And, given the heightened sexual excitement of everyone involved – assuming we’re sticking with the multiple partners fantasy for a moment – may mean a bit more give and take than you dreamed of in the first place.

I guess that is one of the reasons why I started with the analogy of “one heel on the highway.” A sexual adventure takes many steps to reach its peak … and you hope that when you get to that point you see that there are many other paths you can take next.

Fantasies for me tend to be that way. You may get to the point where you can put a notch on the bedpost, but if it’s just one notch it looks more like a dent in the wood than a scorecard for your bedroom gymnastics.

Andee     xoxo

Get Her To Pose For You | Tip #3

Ok, so now we have a very general idea of how to actually make the sexy photo session work, now the big question is “How do we make it happen?”

I wish I had an easy answer for you, but there isn’t really one. There are more challenges than reasons. The other day we heard it again from a wannabe big star about being embarrassed by nude photos of them that had been leaked on the Internet. This time it was Vanessa Hudgens … again. I guess the girl never learns. The Usher and Chris Brown nude photo scandals? No one cares if a male celebrity gets naked. Come on guys, the Red Hot Chili Peppers get nekkid as part of the concert … and they bring socks.

So, with the headlines and gossip that issues like this bring to our daily lives, it creates your biggest hurdle in getting her to pose naked for you: trust.

Sure, she might trust you to look after the children for a night while she goes out with the girls, or maybe to hang the wallpaper in the back bedroom and get the trash out to the curb on a Tuesday morning. She might even trust you to party at the Playboy mansion on Superbowl Sunday without a need for a full-body dousing of penicillin.

But, despite all that, the one thing she may not trust you to do is stop behaving like a 14-year old boy with her newly exposed reputation … and in today’s day and age, that means no Internet. And no smart-phone wallpapers either.

The challenge is overcoming her fear of trusting you to protect the one thing that we women cling to more desperately that a shipwreck survivor to a life ring: our reputation. Well, at least some do … but my story is for another day if you haven’t already read the previous 100+ entries of my blog and followed the carnage that was a ‘normal’ life for yours truly.

So, how do you win her trust? If she doesn’t have it, it won’t come overnight. Lots and lots … and lots … of communication, reassurance. You not only need to calm her fears, but you also need to build her ego bigger than some over-rated basketball player with an hour-long TV special. If for one moment she doesn’t feel like the goddess of all goddesses, chances are you have an awful lot of work ahead of you.

And be sincere and honest with your intentions. It may be that the last time she let some horny guy talk her into doing something before she had time to fully appreciate the full ramifications she lost her virginity.

Setting aside all my sarcasm for a moment, this isn’t about making her feel like she is competing with Playboy models or Victoria's Secret Angels. This is about making your special lady feel like she is just that - special, sexy, confident and desirable.

Lobster Bisque helps. Jewellery works.

Andee     xoxo

Get Her to Pose For You | Tip #2

Long before I met my husband I did some actual modelling. I worked with a couple different photographers at the time - one of whom won an international award with a photo he took of me. I learned a great deal in those days about how to work with the camera and the photographer - because those are two very different things, believe it or not.

I know some people who get very nervous once a camera shows up, and so it does take a bit of time to learn to be relaxed and forget as much as you can that someone is taking pictures.

Posture & Angles

The biggest tip I can pass along from these early days to anyone who has to be in front of the lens is know your facial angles. For me, now that I am no longer a teenager, is how to keep my chin at a flattering angle to prevent the appearance of the dreaded ‘double chin.’ And trust me, even if you are a ‘perfect weight’ stunning woman, the way the neck flows into the jaw line will create a double chin regardless. It’s the way we are built. Even those size-0 underwear models.

When I get a little absorbed in a photo session - because let‘s be honest, it‘s not a typical thing to be standing around in your living room on a Tuesday afternoon dropping your knickers - my photographer will occasionally remind me to lift my chin. He knows that the better I look in the photos, the better results for you guys, and the better I feel about it from all points of view.

If you have to remind your lady as you take the photos, don’t sugar-coat it - BUT don’t say “lift your chin cause you got two chins.” Trust me on this; say that and you won’t even be taking family vacation snapshots at Disney World. My photographer just says, simply “Chin up” and keeps shooting … same with the “Suck it in” for these days as I’m not in the same shape I was back a couple years ago. But that’s changing ;-)

And give direction to her. Tell her when a pose isn’t working, and compliment the crap out of her when they are. Someone I know personally that owns a very good digital camera sometimes forgets about these tips - so make sure you remind her to ask you how she is doing as the session progresses.

Which brings up a good point here. No one is perfect, and no home photo shoot will ever match those Playboy sets you like so much. Unless you’ve got several thousands to drop on a stylist, props/backdrops, lighting (more on lighting coming up). Having said that, it pays to look at magazines like that - together - to find poses that you like and then can try to mimic in your own session.

A couple other tips about angles:

1. Don’t have her stand square to the camera. Turning the hips and shoulders will make a person seem slimmer and create more flattering lines.
2. Remind her to keep breathing naturally.
3. Get her to use a variety of facial expressions and don’t always look at the camera.
4. Have her use her arms - hands on hips, breasts, above her head - instead of just hanging down on the sides.
5. For great cleavage, have her: lean forward; bring arms together at the waist and clasp her hands together at the waist, keeping her arms straight at the elbows; or cross her arms.

Andee     xoxo

All Tied Up | The World of Domination

Well, it has been one of those weeks for me. Thankfully I have tomorrow off, so I will be dedicating some of my time to my website, and some to finally getting those video blogs rolling. I have some great ideas, I think. Now I just need the time to get to them.

I’m also really looking forward to having a date night with my hubby. I think we’re going to take in a fun adult trade show that is coming to town. We went last year and ended up spending way too much money on things with way too little fabric! But, it’s a very sexually charged night out and I can’t wait for a little adult time in my week.

Speaking of adult time, here's a little more insight into my formerly private sex life ...

"I’ve heard that some women fantasize about the idea of being sexually controlled (in a consensual way, of course). Have you ever been tied up during sex?"

Hmmm…well, just how much should I reveal about myself and my own little perversions? LOL

I’m a pretty open girl as a lot of you are learning. I’ve dabbled in a few different things and played around and most of you have pretty much been invited into my sex life thanks to my blog. And like so many other things, yes I have tried a little light bondage. Nothing painful or kinky mind you…just some nice, sexually teasing bondage … kind of what you get out of my latest video.

I’ve never been one to really get into the idea of domination - either being dominated or doing the dominating. I might do some photo sets that way, but “hard core” role playing isn’t something that is a big part of my libido.

But I do admit, there is a strange sensual feeling about being restrained while someone does some very sexual things to you. The biggest part to make sure that it is a turn-on is trust. I trust my husband to do only things that I’m OK with, and that are sexually exciting and not degrading. If you cross that line of trust, then it no longer is a truly sexual experience.

It’s really hot to be getting into the whole thing, surrendering myself so that my partner can tie me up. I prefer to be tied either on my back, spread eagle or my tummy. Nothing pretzelish. A few times I have been blindfolded, which really heightens the sense of not knowing what is coming next…not being able to see where your lover is headed, and then the slight surprising sensation as they touch you. It’s really erotic if my lover keeps moving, maybe one time kissing my lips, then lightly touching the inside of my thigh, then my breast, and so on. I love it when this kind of foreplay goes on and on before he even goes near that certain spot. If I’m really into it, by the time he does, I’m almost exploding. Then I’m practically begging for some action.

Andee     xoxo 

Beginnings | How Things Have Changed

Ever have one of the days … you know, where you just can’t wait for that door to close behind you as you leave.

Sheesh.

Anyway, yesterday I was telling you about how my naughty little hobby all came together. The second part to Bushmonke’s question was what has changed in the years that I have been doing the website. I had to think about this one quite a bit; I wasn’t sure if he meant what had changed with me, or what changes have I seen overall, with the site, etc.

Settle in guys, this is a bit longer than normal. Free cheesy-poofs to everyone who gets to the end in one piece.

On a personal level, quite a lot has changed since my website went live in July 2002. Perhaps the biggest has been the beginning of a whole new kind of sexual adventure - of which I have blogged about quite a bit.

When I first started, I was pretty naïve about the idea of having a website and what it might mean. I never considered how it would become a big part of my life at home with my husband - nor did I imagine it would become a big part of some of your lives. Over the years I have chatted with hundreds of different guys who have visited my site, become members, and some who have become friends. I learned that for a few, women like me - web models - become a big solution to their loneliness. And for others, a big part of their fantasies.

Andee / Circa 1994

I never expected that some would even want advice from me, but I have spent time as a “relationship counsellor,” “dating expert” and “virtual girlfriend.” I’ve had cyber sex, webcammed and held “Meet Me” auctions.

But the biggest change, which may not have been what you were really looking for, is how my life and future has been affected by my choices. I have a hobby that I can’t share with my dearest friends, and only told my family out preservation from meddling people. I can’t tell people at work that I spent the weekend doing hardcore videos and photo shoots. I can’t tell my frustrated girlfriends which sex toy will make their hair stand on end in mere seconds; and I can’t call in sick on Monday and tell them my friction burn is too bad for me to work.

That said, I admit that I put more conscious effort into the things I do for my website. I take (most) criticism as constructive, and I try often to invite you guys into my little world. My lingerie collection has grown to “hoarding” status … and I’ve put several sex toys into retirement! When the economy tanked, I made sure the folks at Duracell had no fears of a slowdown in battery sales.

What hasn’t changed is that I’m still trying to figure out what you guys really like to see from me, and if there is a true niche that I fit into … and let’s be honest, I’m also constantly trying to find ways to keep you guys interested in what I’m offering so you will stick with me and not get bored and move on.

And then there’s the darker reality. Any ambitions I had for a more “public” life will never happen. Pornography doesn’t go away, even if you take down a website. Thousands of my pictures are out there and I can’t take them back. My decisions at any one point can turn against me.

On the upside … I have been able to explore a level of sexuality that kind of sat in the back of my imagination. Through my website, and what it has done for me in terms of being a more sexually in-tune person, I have lived some incredible fantasies. I doubt I would have ever made any attempts to satisfy my bi-sexual curiosities if I didn’t have my site. I doubt I would have been a willing and enthusiastic participant in exploring the swinging side of life (but I still harbour much more curiosity there).

I’ll save what it has meant to my relationship with my husband for another day ;-)

On a more general level, in the nine years I have been doing my version of amateur porn, there has been many changes.

While it doesn’t seem all that long ago when I started, there have been a number of trends in amateur porn. It used to be that a really hot photo set attracted an awful lot of attention, then the trend went to a bit more multi-media - photos, with video clips. These days the trend is definitely moving a lot more aggressively to video. And it’s getting harder to distinguish between the true amateur and the professional porn star with a weekend off.

Then again, can we even say that I’m an amateur anymore?

When we started, just having a page on a website like Southern Charms was something. The site hosted just over 400 different Charms. Today it hovers close to 800, and has added a number of new options, such a video sales and individual photo set sales. As models we have become webmasters and social networking experts. We have turned from naughty housewives into “brands.’

With so much out there on the Internet these days, especially free porn, the competition has increased 10 times over - even on our own website. I mentioned the economy just a few sentences ago, and that has been one of the most dramatic changes I think we’ve seen. Up until 2008, everyone I know was doing quite well. Sales and rebills were stable and we were trying hard to keep all you guys hard.

When the latest collapse came, the industry turned a bit more sour. More free sites emerged, along with all the stolen content - which guys take from our sites and then put on other sites, forums and newsgroups, either pretending they’re us or even bolding admitting theft. But I guess they don’t see it that way. I’m not sure if they would think the same if I just came along, took their car and dropped it off at a used-car lot and said it was mine. For some reason, and it’s a much longer debate than just this, nude images of women are fair game.

Copyright law is catching on, but not fast enough to make the hosts of those kinds of websites and newsgroups feel any pressure.

Still here? As promised, here's your cheesy poofs ...

But then even off of the web I think we are generally becoming a much nastier society. I see it everyday in my job and my commute. There’s no respect anymore.

Along with the more determined marketing schemes, the web in general has changed. Today it is a bigger 2.0 world, which means we also have had to look at ways to make our naughty little hobby a more interactive one.

Andee     xoxo

Beginnings | How I First Got Naked

I have said before that I am a big voyeur. I love to people-watch, and not just in a sexual way. I’m fascinated by others, their habits and how they interact, dress, carry themselves. Right now, as I am tucked into the back corner seat of the train, I’m watching this Dutch couple in front of me. Like I imagine what commuting must be like in Europe, they have brought an almost full breakfast onto the train with them - proper picnic breakfast, not Tim Hortons bagels and coffee. Fruit, crackers, cheese (with a knife?!). These are moments that make these mornings unique and send my mind away from the mundane routine working in the city has become. 

One of the questions I get very now and then - and something most recently asked by my Twitter friend Bushmonke - was how I got started in my naughty little hobby, and what has changed in the years since.  friend

Kind of a loaded backend to that question ;-) 

You know, I don’t think that any woman really grows up with dreams of being a “porn star” - amateur or professional. As we mature, we may embrace the idea, find a comfort level, or fascination with it. But I can’t see a little girl aspiring to it. 

I started my website in July 2002. I bet if you had asked me in July 2001 if I would have been doing something like this I would have said “no way.” 

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I had done some modeling as a teenager, and had some photographic fun of a more adult nature with my husband, but I didn’t aspire to becoming a Southern Charm. There was a number of reasons why things have gone the way they have. Shortly after 9/11/2001, my husband lost his job. While it was a bit of a depressing time - we had a 20-month old and 5-month old - he wasn’t going to be defeated by it. Thankfully, through some business contacts he had in the entertainment industry, he managed to get something going while looking for work back in his primary career. That took about 7 months. 

So, at the stage we were looking at the reality of our situation. We had managed to tread water, but still were left - like so many other people - with some intimidating debt. 

Not connected to that, we never lost our sense of adventure and intimacy as a couple. There were points when I wasn’t exactly feeling like a desirable woman, having just had two children, struggling with our new financial reality as we had agreed I would stay home with our children until they were in school. One weekend, my husband and I made a silly bet, which I lost, and the “consequence” was he was going to prove that I could still attract the attention of other men. At first I had no clue how he was going to do this, until he introduced me to an amateur website, the kind where all the photos are posted by every day women. 

The “dare” was that if I received enough comments on my images to prove the argument, I would then have to post another series; this time more revealing. All that happened, and it wasn’t long after that we got an e-mail from one of the other posters on the site telling us about Southern Charms. We checked it out, read all the info and kind of left it at that for a bit. 

I was surprised by what we discovered though. Up until that point, all I had seen in “porn” on the Internet was professional model sites, and even those were only because I was snooping into someone’s surfing habits! But on SC there were women of all shapes, sizes and ages. I was pretty naïve to the idea that everyday women like me would be into something like this. It was enlightening, shocking, curious and erotic all at the same time. Together we kind of found a new appreciation for this “amateur” stuff. 

I think each of us was quietly thinking the same thing. About a month later my husband asked me, as he was cleaning out the e-mails, what my intentions were with the one about SC. I said: “I don’t know.” After about an hour of not saying anything, he just asked me “Do you want to try it?” 

Secretly I did want to, but was very nervous. This wasn’t just a couple of anonymous photos; this was my own site on the largest amateur website on the web! But it was the opportunity I needed, if for no other reason than to dispel the myth that my husband seemed to have about me, and any kind of broader sexual appeal. 

At first, we were both a bit clueless as to what we should be doing - in everything from photo size and quality to settings and outfits. One of my early sets - the one of me in a pantsuit - was taken after we got home from a friend’s wedding, as we kind of threw things out there. And none of it at the time was really about the money, as much as it was about the adventure and putting some extra spice into our marriage. But that said, with the stress of the debt we had accumulated, getting paid for being naked and having sex (while trying to pretend the camera wasn’t there) was turning into a liberating experience. 

I’m not going to recommend it for everyone – because there are some dark sides you have to prepare for. 

So, it took a while to figure out what was going to work. To this day, I’m still not sure … but I think I have found a little more understanding of the “niche” in where I fit. It was much easier to figure out what I am not as a model … 

It’s now been 9 years and well over 20,000 photos and dozens of mpgs and videos.

TOMORROW: Part 2 - What has changed? 

Andee     xoxo