TMI Tuesday | Vacation Sex

I'm sure you'll agree with me that sex is a key part of any decent adult vacation - whether it's the hook-up in Daytona for Spring Break, or a romantic tryst between long-term lovers in the Caribbean surf at sunset. There seems to be something that much more erotic about getting busy while the stress of reality is being washed away by some lovely tropical beverages.

Vegas Baby!

With that in mind, this week’s TMI Tuesday questions - submitted by virtualsin.wordpress.com - take us on a delightfully sexual holiday...

1. Do you have more sex or less when on vacation?
It used to be that I had way more sex when I went on vacation with my husband - but then we had kids and those kinds of trips disappeared. So, these days we just work harder at having vacation sex without getting caught.

2. Do you plan a vacation so that you will have an opportunity to have sex?
I can't say that we actually plan a vacation just for the sex, but I won't deny that we do everything we can to take advantage of the opportunity ... and keeping track of all the places I've gotten laid! A few years ago, when my husband was working in a different job and company, he used to travel several times a year - and every now and then I'd get to tag along. That was always a fun time for some seriously naughty interludes.

3. Have you ever planned a vacation in order to meet someone for sex?
No ... vacations for me (and now, for me and my husband) have not been built around the idea of a hook-up. There are times when I think it would be something exciting to try a lifestyle resort, such as Hedonism, but so far that remains just a fantasy - at least until my children have grown up enough to be trusted to be left alone.

4. Have you ever gone on a singles’ cruise or some other hookup-facilitating vacation?
Same as above ... no.

5. Have you had sex on a means of transportation other than a car: bus, train, airplane, cruise ship?
Since you took away all the really fun possibilities, the closest I can offer up as transportation is a bed that moves around on a hardwood floor.

6. Have you had outdoor sex on camping, hiking, skiing, boating vacation?
Camping and hiking, absolutely. In fact, I'd hazard to say, if there isn't at least on time on a camping trip when the sleeping bags get zipped together, then it's just not camping. Skiing for me has never graduated from the bunny slope ... although one of these days I'll definitely get back on the water and put some motion to the gunwales.

BONUS: Do you pack sex toys, lubes (3.4 oz bottles or less), etc when you fly? Do you think about TSA finding them? Has TSA ever found them and questioned you about your sexual aids or displayed them? Tell us about it.
No, as much as I love my toys and my sex fun, I'd be way too embarrassed to deal with an awkward security search.

Andee     xoxo

TMI Tuesday | Navigating Sex

As much as I might like to consider myself in the midst of a sexual adventure, sometimes it can be a very delicate balance between desire and disaster. But, regardless of what you might consider an "adventure," we have all found ourselves in those situations where feelings can be complicated and our sexual connections just not ... connecting.

Some interesting questions for this week's TMI Tuesday.

Answer yes or no:

• I regret my first kiss
• I miss my first love
• I married my first love
• I loved someone that didn’t love me

Hmm … don’t know if I would say any of these are extremely accurate, with the exception of marriage. I believe I have married my true love, but I also believe that we are capable of loving on many different levels.

My first kiss was pretty much what every young teen girl goes through, with a boy who just happened to be the boy of the moment. I've kissed quite a few since then, and a few girls along the way too!

I certainly don't miss my first "love" ... but wish I knew better at the time and would have been a bit more cautious about giving my heart away.

Do you consider yourself monogamous or polyamorous or some other category which you will explain or define for us now?
Mostly monogamous. We have dabbled in the swinger’s lifestyle and managed to explore sexually with other people – but we have never taken it beyond some hot, steamy moments and oral sex. Are these the opening doors of things still to come? I can’t say because, although my interest in continuing to explore is extremely high, it can be complicated when you are a finicky as me. However, we definitely don’t qualify for the polyamory category and can’t admit that we are active swingers. I suppose the category that would define us best is “sexual adventurers.” We love to explore, we love to test the limits, but at the same time we are wimpy and love the sense of security of being married and mostly monogamous.

Your partner is in the mood for sex and you are tired – what do you do?
   a) Start snoring. There is no way I’m giving it up tonight.
   b) Trade. You give me a massage…and we will see…
   c) That would never happen!
The only answer that really fits is c). But the truth is I am more for negotiations for a rain cheque. I might be tired tonight, but how about we set the alarm for a few minutes earlier in the morning?

Does your partner mind if you masturbate, in bed, while they are there?
I would say, about 50% of the time when I masturbate my husband is right there, watching and sometimes helping. I'm one of those women, as I have said a number of times, that needs a little help achieving orgasm. So, with that reality, our sex life tends to involve a fair bit of manual manipulation.

On the other side, I would love it if he would include me in more of watching him do the same, but that seems to be something he keeps to himself a great deal.

Describe your typical sexual romp:
   a) You are playful and tame
   b) You have occasionally introduced a few things like outfits and toys
   c) You love trying new things and shocking your partner
A bit of b) and a healthy dose of c). We’re beyond the “occasional” part of sex toys and naughty outfits – mostly due to the little naughty hobby we have on the side and the fact that I have a substantial collection of battery-operated marital aids, but I don’t think that our sex romps are always about trying new things. Having said that, I always love new things when sex is involved!

BONUS: What was your best ever masturbation experience? Why was it the best? Describe.
Wow, that is is tough one to answer. There's been some crazy moments for me, but I think one that stands out as one of the best is the first time that I masturbated on webcam. Masturbation tends to be a hugely private thing for me, but in the early days of my sexual adventure I was discovering a lot about the Internet and the kinkiness it can add to your evenings.

It was something that I found very exhilarating and liberating - as I had never done anything like that in front of anyone but my husband. I remember spending most of the evening teasing and tormenting with the guy I was chatting with, and watching him reveal himself to me. I was getting hornier as the night went on, and as my husband was working, it felt even naughtier.

Andee     xoxo

Sex | Getting A Facial

A somewhat interesting discussion broke out the other day at lunch, around the idea of “spit vs. swallow” but really about “swallow vs. facial.” Naturally, I always enjoy these kinds of conversations as they not only cover off one of my most favourite topics – sex, but also I find I learn so much about the bizarre attitudes that some of my friends seem to have about certain intimate acts between consenting adults.

One of my friends strongly views the “facial” finish in oral sex as an insult; almost as if it comes across as a sexist and derogatory completion to an act she already has some serious issues with. Of course, she is also one who I would be willing to bet uses her mouth for anything but blowjobs.

As a woman who thoroughly enjoys taking a man into my mouth and driving him to the point of orgasm, I felt it was important to share some ideas on the topic; mostly because I see that kind of attitude as a barrier to greater sexual adventures. If you take offence to something that you are a willing participant in for 95% of the moment, then decide “OK, that’s it” just before the big finish, well … maybe you need to have some serious conversations in your relationship.

I’ll admit that it took me quite a long time to adjust to the idea of swallowing a man’s cum. I would find ways to take the intimacy in a different direction before I would have to confront my apprehension. And, to be fair, I didn’t get a lot of complaints anyway.

The lack of pressure from my partner to actually finish him off by swallowing enabled me to get comfortable in my own mind with the idea, and then when I had confronted my fears and overcame them, the pure delight and appreciation from my partner was a massive boost to my confidence – and willingness to repeat the act.

These days I find myself actually wanting to make him cum in my mouth and am perfectly content with pulling out my favourite vibrator afterwards and letting him watch as I bring myself to orgasm.

And there are times when I actually do want my guy to blow his load all over me. I find it an equally erotic moment to watch from such a close angle as he cums. The sensation of those hot spurts on my flesh, and the knowledge that I am the one who is making him cum, is an incredible turn-on. I suppose it is connected to the idea that I don’t see oral sex as a submissive act; in reality, women can hold an incredible amount of sexual power in with their mouth.

 

It doesn’t hurt that my partner repeatedly tells me that I am good at it.

On the other side of the debate, I also happen to think that for the most part, having a man cum on me instead of in me is a bit of a short-change for him. In my own sexual experience, I have learned that the majority of the men in my life want the “swallow.” The incredible sensation for him, combined with idea of “reward” is an amazing sexual experience. It’s kind of like eating a delicious cream-filled doughnut, without eating the cream; why bother?

I realize that there are many women who just can’t fathom the idea of cum in their mouth; and that’s a shame … understandable, but still a shame. Hopefully they are able to find ways to enhance the intimacy with their partners as opposed to using the “spit vs. swallow vs. facial” debate as a bone of contention in their sexual experience.

Andee     xoxo 

TMI Tuesday | Playing With Myself

So, today marks the start of another new 'journey' for me. I am now officially in my 40th year, which means I have an awful lot of ground to cover in the next 365 days so that I can hit my 40th birthday looking all that much more sexually confident, physically fit and smashingly glamourous.

And, that also means that I may actually have a bit of a renewed ambition when it comes to making certain desires, wants and fantasies come to life. Or at least writing all about them!

And now, on to all that information that you just can't get enough of every TMI Tuesday ...

1. My favorite place to masturbate is _____ ?
Yeah, not as kinky as you might believe, but my favourite place to masturbate is in my own bed. That way, when all is said an done and my heart is done racing from the sexual build-up and release, I love to curl up and fall asleep. Masturbating is an amazing way for me to relax before bedtime - and helps take my mind away from the stresses of the day.

2. Have you ever masturbated in public? What were the circumstances?
Not sure; my answer is a bit of a 'sort of.' I wrote about it before: it was a couple years ago and my husband and I were on our way home from one of those sex trade shows in the city. We were downtown and the traffic was crazy. I had already slipped off my panties back at the convention centre and figured since we were going to be sitting in the car for a bit that I would give my new sex toy a little test drive of it's own. I simply pulled up the hem of my skirt, positioned myself accordingly and let the brand new batteries take me to euphoria of a roadgasm - plus give my hubby and amazing tease and scene.

It was equally erotic as people were walking past on the sidewalks only a couple feet away from our vehicle. I remember that was one amazing orgasm ... the sensation of a new toy mixed with the excitement of being in a crowded space.

3. Do you like mutual masturbation? Why?
Yes and no, but for all really good reasons. I love it because there is something very erotic for me in watching and being there while someone is pleasuring themselves. And sharing that moment with someone has an erotic sense of vulnerability. It's opening yourself up to a very different sexual experience.

No, because it's rare that I can allow myself to wait it out. Mutual moments like that generally end up in full-out sex ... not that full-out sex is a bad thing; it just means an end to the masturbation portion of the evening. There are lots of occasions when masturbation becomes a conclusion for me, as well. I'm one of those women that does need a little extra help to reach orgasm.

4. When was the last time you masturbated?
I'm writing my answers on Monday night as we wait for the Leafs-Bruins hockey game to start ... I masturbated on Monday morning shortly after shooting some new photos for my website - 'cause a girl can get rather turned-on posing in new lingerie that a friend sent for her to wear; all that touching my breasts and playing with my pussy while my husband snaps photos. Yep, I think I might masturbate again tonight.

5. Have you ever masturbated on camera?
Yes ... for both recorded video and on webcam. I still make new recorded videos every now and then for purposes other than just adding a bit of kink to my sex life. I mean, why keep the fun all to myself, and since I have received a few requests along the way from guys who want to watch ...

6. Do you like to watch people masturbate?
Call me kinky, but I love watching another person pleasuring themselves. I have had the wonderful opportunity to watch a couple men do that in front of me in person - and good lord, it's a massive turn-on for me. I would love to have the same opportunity with another woman. I have watched on camera and amateur videos, but not while I was right there just a couple feet away as she brought herself to orgasm. Now that would be yummy ...

BONUS: Have you filmed yourself masturbating? Care to share that film via a link?
Take your pick ... follow the video button and you can find several different videos of me masturbating, and a couple in which someone else does all the work on me!

Andee     xoxo

Relationships | It's Not About 'Ownership'

Some days I really should learn to stay away from some of the nonsense that passes as “advice and insight” in those trashy women’s magazines and relationship websites. They used to be a fun source of humour and fodder for lunchtime debates, but lately they have proven to be nothing more than ridiculous perspectives that are going to screw up reality for a lot of younger women should they chose to believe what these bitter and jaded writers put out there.

Now, I recognize that not everyone looks at the world like I do; just as I don’t share a lot of other people’s perspectives – especially on relationships and sexuality. And I have to learn to accept that the path that has brought me to where I am in life is also not one that has been walked by many.

The article I read last week that got my blood pressure rising was a “modern woman’s” position about fidelity and fantasy. The female author was writing about how she believes it is completely wrong for people in committed relationships to have fantasies that involve other people. Her position was that “your man” could be cheating on you in his own mind; that his fantasies were taking him out of the marriage.

What?

And she went on to explain her belief that in order for a woman to own a man sexually, he shouldn’t be thinking about other women … period.

Good lord!

I have a hard time understanding how some modern women view their feminist right as one of possession – particularly when it comes to men. Their attitude reminds of those stereotypical black wives from bad 1990s sitcoms and the “Oh no, you di' unt…” finger-wagging, head-bobbing routine.

“I think however that private fantasizing is also a sure-fire way for couples to become disengaged and disconnected during sex. It also does not encourage dialogue between couples about the things with which they are unhappy,” the author writes in her article.

How are having sexual fantasies an indication that we are unhappy as people?

“What right-thinking woman (unless she’s kinky to the bone) wants her husband to be thinking about another woman when he’s making love to her? Yes, I am aware that different folks have different strokes but for those of us interested in the concept of sexual-exclusivity, why should this not also be extended to the thought-life? As my girlfriends have said, the first step to fully owning a man sexually is owning his mind and if it’s filled with thoughts of other women, how much of him do we really have?”

Are these the very same girlfriends who sit around bitching about how useless their husbands are; or how the “word according to the gospel of Oprah” says another wedge of cheesecake won’t hurt?

Is monogamy really about completely “owning” the other person sexually?

I guess I am one of the “kinky to the bone” women she is scoffing about. In our bedroom, our fantasies about other people are a widely accepted – and openly discussed – topic. I can tell you about a number of the women my husband works with on a daily basis that he would love to invite into our sex life – hell, I’d even be happy just to sit back and watch. He’s already done that much for me by allowing one of my biggest fantasies to become a reality.

Maybe I am missing something in my role as a sexual woman to truly understand how his sexual fantasies are damaging our long-term relationship? Never mind our 23-year history as a couple while we have seen less open-minded couples have their marriages implode.

Several studies have shown how having fantasies is actually healthy for the mind and people who fantasize frequently have more fun in bed, have sex more often, and women have more orgasms during sex than those who refrain from fantasizing about their sex lives. And some of those studies have shown how lack of being able to have sexual fantasies has led to boredom.

What is dangerous to the health of a relationship is the idea of “possession” and an atmosphere of judgment where one of the parties involved doesn’t feel confident or comfortable in sharing. Being connected to someone who won’t allow you the freedom to express the deepest and darkest desires is a sure-fire way to spend a life of misery.

And I can tell you I see that far too much around me – couples who clearly have no clue about the thoughts of their partner. They co-exist in a swirl of resentment without really understanding how they reached that stage, but the cohabitation passing as a “marriage” is too convenient to leave – or heaven forbid, too much bother to put in the effort to change. I listen as my own girlfriends complain about their partners, label them and berate them; rarely do they share any of the decent qualities that must have existed at one point in time.

Meanwhile, they scoff at my own tales of how my husband planned an elaborate birthday scavenger hunt for me last year; or how he secretly downloads songs I like onto my mp3 player while I am in bed asleep, leaving me to be surprised the next time I listen to it. I’ve stopped telling them that he knows my clothing, underwear and shoe size better than I do. Damn the bastard!

It's time to let go of the anger and resentment that has boiled because you are too lazy to actually talk to each other. Life is not a Hollywood movie where Prince Charming comes to the rescue, or some great revelation occurs and your marriage is fixed in a running time of 181 minutes. You have to open up, you have to talk and you have to be willing to accept the other person's delightful kinky lust for wanting you to be a part of their sexual fantasies.

A progressive relationship isn’t about ownership or dispelling the fact that human nature involves a healthy imagination. Trying to squash your partner’s fleeting mental desires is likely a quicker route to turning a monogamous partnership into a former relationship.

Andee     xoxo

TMI Tuesday | Fill In The Blanks

I always enjoy sharing my thoughts with you, and even though I have been suffering from blogger's block lately, little questions like today's TMI Tuesday make it easier to get my mind into that sexual space where the best ideas tend to hang out.

This week, we are sharing our information "Fill in the blanks" style.

1. I’m the type of person that likes to be ENTERTAINED in bed.
I initially considered saying "sweaty," which is also something I like to be in bed ... but only during sex. Being entertained in bed can mean a number of different things. First off, from a sexual perspective, I love having sex that has a creative element to it, whether physical or mental - the sharing of naughty ideas and fantasies in the heat of passion. Secondly, and let's be honest, not everyone have sex every time they are in bed ... so, I like to be entertained by reading. Reading is one of my biggest passions, and my bed allows me the peace and privacy I need to let my imagination absorb the ideas on the pages.

2. If the sexiest person I know propositioned me for sex, I would WILLING AGREE.
I'm a sexual being ... I love sex, love exploring new sexual experiences and would dive right in to the opportunity. But, there would need to be some conditions. While I think my husband is the sexiest person I really know, that answer would bore you. You want to know about someone outside of my marriage, and that would be agreeable, and my husband would definitely want to be there to watch and perhaps hold the camera.

3. The worst part about BEING ALONE when I am naked is THE COST OF BATTERIES.
Um, this was tougher than I first thought; especially with the first blank required to make the sentence grammatically correct. Anyway, some fun for the answer, because when I am alone and feeling horny, I tend to lie back and enjoy my fantasies while my trusted little vibrator massages me into blissful orgasm. I dread to think how much I have spent on batteries over the years - I probably should have bought shares in the company.

4. I regret my first TIME.
Well, let's be honest, most of us do to a certain extent. I was inexperienced, far too young (in my mind) and really wished I had waited.

5. The last sexual/kinky thing I expected to like was ANAL SEX.

I have said several times before, had I not met my husband, I doubt I would have explored and discovered so many incredible things sexually. He has been a wonderful partner and encourager of my sexual adventure and always allowed me to experiment and dabble with a number of kinky ideas. I never would have imagined that anal sex would be something that I enjoy, but as it turned out, given the right state of mind, the right amount of lube and the right position - bazinga!

6. Recently, I FLASHED someone.
Well ... not THAT kind of flash ... but certainly a little "can you see I'm wearing stockings to work today as I let the hem of my dress inch up just a little bit under the table in the lunch room" kind of naughty tease. I know he saw, the expression on his face gave him away. Chalk another naughty office distraction victory up to yours truly. Other than that, I can't say I'm really much of a "get the girls out" kind of girl. I can count on one hand the number of times I have actually done that ... and none of them have been very recent.

BONUS: You have been kidnapped by lesbians and dragged into a lesbian orgy, what are you going to do?
Well, the expression is "when in Rome ..." so I would have to think when you find yourself immersed in the delightful sexual debauchery of a lesbian orgy, you must get yourself naked and plunge in head (and tongue) first.

Andee     xoxo

Fast Friday | Pure Randomness

Hey guys! Hope everyone is getting ready for the festive season! I love the holidays and all the excitement, but I have to admit that as I get older, the hustle and bustle wears me down faster.

And since we’re all running in top gear these days, I thought a quick little blog update might be more in line with the pace of our busy days. So, here’s a quick little something I’m calling my Fast Friday Five … five quick and easy questions that I can’t write a whole entry about, but have made their way to my inbox over the past few months.

Do you have a sexy nickname? How did you get it?
Well, my name for all my online fun is Andee – and maybe not as exciting as something like “Hot Lips” or “Lover Buns” but it is the name associated with all the naughty stuff I do here and on my website. The name came from a childhood friend who struggled to pronounce my real name. She still calls me that today; if she only knew!

What’s your favorite sexual position?
This question is always a huge struggle for me … I hate to pick just one. However, as I need to narrow it down, I love doggy-style the most. There is a lot to be said for having a guy enter me in that way; feeling him slide along all the most sensitive spots inside me … yum! Second to that would be the boring ol’ missionary, but mostly because I love kissing. And kissing while having sex … yowza!

But let’s be honest, anytime I am getting laid, that is the position I like to be in!

Do you prefer ice cubes or hot wax?
I have yet to experiment with hot wax … and while the ice cube experience was delightfully erotic on a very hot summer night, and the sensation of the cool water dribbling down my thighs was kind of cool, having the cock-shaped ice cube inside my pussy was friggin’ cold. I guess I should have tried the newlywed version of just using an ice cube to make my nipples stand out. But apparently the sensation of his hot erection slipping deep into my chilled pussy was amazing.

Do you like rough sex or smooth sex?
Yes …

Ok … each has its specific appeal. Sometimes there is nothing hotter than a very raunchy, tie me to the bed and torture me with sex toys evening, but I also enjoy a passionate, emotionally-driven tender night on occasion. Most of our sex life falls somewhere in the middle of these two extremes, but mixing things up every now and then keeps it all very hot and fresh.

Have you ever cross-dressed?
Um, no ... but even if I did, it’s probably not as kinky for a woman these days to dress up like a man as it is for one of you guys to slip on some of my favourite Fredericks of Hollywood lingerie and stockings and head out for a night on the town.

So there you guys, a few quick and easy answers to hopefully keep you sexually amused on what is surely a crazy Friday for you. It is for me.

Andee     xoxo

30 Random Things For A Friday

Like a few other updates that have happened over the past few days, this one has its roots in a previous blog that I wrote on a different site. I think it’s still kind of fun and covers off a whole whack of “too much information” about me.

I thought this might be something light and fun for a Friday. You have probably seen a few of these “random facts” blogs, so I hope it’s not too boring. If nothing else, if it spurs you to ponder any curious questions about me, please send them my way. I am always looking for new ways to involve you in my blog, and also to write about ideas, topics and interests that appeal to you. Otherwise you are just stuck inside my own head – and that can be a dangerous place to find yourself on the best of days!

1) Single, Taken, or Crushing?
Married, quite happily! But occasionally playful in the right moments!

2) Are you happy with where you are?
Extremely, except for financially, but isn't that the case with most people?

3) When you meet the right person, do you fall fast?
No, I tend to be a bit more coy and cautious.

4) Have you ever had your heart broken?
Yes ... and more than once.

5) Do you believe that there are certain circumstances where cheating is ok?
No, but with good communication and a mutual adventurous spirit, why cheat on your partner when you can explore together! ;-)

6) Would you ever take someone back if they cheated on you?
No. I would struggle to regain the trust and I think that would prevent the relationship from healing.

7) Have you talked about marriage with another person?
Several times ... but I am married after all.

8) Do you want children?
I already have two. Now we’re trying to adopt a dog.

9) How many?
The two I already have. Unless you meant the dog, then we will just stick with the one.

10) Would you consider adoption?
Yes. Especially of the dog.

11) If somebody liked you right now, what do you think is a cool way to let you know?
Be straightforward, talking is always a good thing. As I get older, the more I recognize that “games” can quickly get off track. If you want an adult relationship, start out by being an adult. Save the games for between the sheets when everyone is horny and naked.

12) Do you enjoy playing hard to get?
Am I hard to get? Hmmm ... I really prefer to play getting it hard.

13) Be honest, do you play the "game" when you are dating?
Completely. But most of my dates are with my husband, so it’s very safe to play the “game.” Fun, even. Especially when he is creative with the plans for the night!

14) Do you believe love at first sight exists?
Yes.

15) Are you romantic?
Extremely.

16) Do you believe that you can change someone?
I believe you can ... but more times than not, I have seen it for the worse and not the better.

17) If you could get married anywhere, money not an object where would it be?
In some incredible European castle.

18) Do you have feelings for someone right now?
Yes. Some of them are even good.

19) Have you ever wished you could've had someone but you couldn't?
Yes.

20) Have you ever broken a heart?
Honestly, I don't know.

21) Would you ever fight somebody over your significant other?
You wanna piece of me? But quite honestly, our relationship is such a way that I would rather just hold the camera and watch intently.

22) What would you say about your last ex?
Where's a speeding bus when you need one?

23) Favorite sex position?
Well, seriously ... do I need to pick just one? Anytime I'm getting some is a favourite position. But if I really need to pick just one, I'll say doggy style 'cause it feels so good and deep.

24) What turns you on the most?
The first thing I notice about a man that I have just met would be his hands. Then his smile. On a deeper note, I get turned on by a guy who can make me laugh, smile and appreciates my twisted sense of humour. Finally, if he gets the chance to bed me ... those hands better live up to all the expectations in my imagination! ;-)

25) Does size matter?
Sorry, but yes. But maybe not quite like what many guys think. Truth is, while I have never been with a guy like this, but too big can be a bad thing. You want something that fits, feels good. But having said that, no matter what, the guy needs to know how to use what he has.

26) Most times in one day?
Six

27) Most orgasms in one session?
I'm usually good for two, but then after that things tend to get a little numb as I am one of those women that needs a little extra help getting there.

27) What do you think about during sex?
Depends on the sex and the partner. Mostly I think about the sensations I'm feeling at the moment, and perhaps the events that led up to getting into that position. Rarely does my own mind wander away from what is really going on.

28) Ever had a threesome?
No, but I have had a foursome with my husband and another couple. That said, a MFM encounter is very high on my list of desires – and something I am working actively on achieving.

29) How often do you masturbate?
Four to five times per week if I'm getting regular sex that week. But like everyone else, some weeks the motivation just isn’t there, and others the motivation is really there!

30) Do you like oral?
Yes, I've been told it's one of my better bedroom skills by more than one guy ... and girl. In fact, I’ve blogged at length about it …

Anyway, hope you enjoy this little tongue and cheek bit of TMI for this week.

Andee     xoxo

 

It's Bound to be Erotic

One of the most obvious things about me - if you follow any of the drivel I write on here and my Twitter account - is how much I enjoy reading. I think it is a bit of a lost art in today's culture, as I know too many people who could use an introduction to a good book; such as a dictionary or Grade 8 grammar text book.

And while a lot of what I read may not rank high among literary masterpieces, quite a few always lead to some interesting debates. These days it's hard to find anyone who does not have an opinion on the most talked about book of 2012, Fifty Shades of Grey.

The naughty, but not exactly well-written, trilogy has opened the door for many conversations and now, some 10 months since the books peaked in popularity, there is a bit of a baby boom ... and no wonder. Regardless of your or my opinion on the quality of the writing, pop culture consumed these en masse. And couples were all of a sudden exploring in the bedroom.

Heck, even at the Everything To Do With Sex Show a few weeks back, almost every vendor was trying to capitalize on the increased interest in bondage.

I mentioned that in passing to a few of my more open-minded coworkers and we soon found ourselves immersed in a discussion on what is erotic and what is too much.

I have some pretty clear rules when it comes to exploring the world of bondage, domination and submission: nothing that causes pain; nothing that humiliates; and nothing that crosses the line in terms of our marriage vows.

Outside of that, there are many aspects of the "Fifty Shades" experience that excite me; and I'm not even touching on the ridiculousness of the plot. I have no delusions of meeting a rich, young, handsome man with nothing better to do in life than strap virgins onto a St. Andrew's cross in a personal playroom somewhere in Seattle.

One of those aspects is how in my own bedroom, things have been a bit more "bound and determined" when it comes to being playful. Being blindfolded and teased is a highly erotic experience for me. It touches on a desire in me to be dominated, but at the same time falls right into my safety zone. For my husband, it allows him the opportunity to do some of those things to me that I typically do to myself. He can indulge in the erotic thrill of my forced orgasm, using a toy on me while I am totally incapable of bringing myself to one.

Eroticism requires a heightened level of anticipation. It goes beyond just the physical stimulation, but plays on the imagination at the same time. Which means the unknown of what sensation to expect next when being blindfolded enhances the excitement for me ... and I know I'm not alone in this. Ethel Person of Columbia University reports that 51% of women imagine being forced to have sex and another 33% get off on pretending to be a slave who must obey a man’s every wish.

And it's not just Person saying it. According to many studies, exploring a submissive role is one of the leading sexual fantasies for women. Psychology Today estimates that between 31% and 57% of women entertain fantasies where they are forced to have sex.

For many women, it is a safe way to be bad, permission to be naughty in a way that is still a little shocking.

Andee     xoxo