The books delve into the sexual kinks of the two main characters, and the lead male’s particularly fondness for BDSM. The young female, inexperienced in sex, struggles with the dominant/submissive lifestyle – which makes up for a whole chunk of the plotline between the two. Unlike others of the same genre – delightfully labeled “mommy porn” by those aspiring novelists working at newspapers across the continent – Fifty Shades reaches a deeper into the sexual psychology between characters.
One of the successful elements author E.L. James has touched on is that slightly over 1/3 of women have fantasies of being dominated by their partner. That I find more intriguing …
In a 2011 survey, 35% of women listed “being dominated by a boyfriend/husband” as their number one fantasy.
I can’t say the idea ranks as my top fantasy, but I am certainly intrigued.
One of the biggest challenges for me would be the surrendering of control enough to be considered a submissive; but I am also now sure that I am particularly suited for a dominant role either. In my real life, I find a balance between the two. I’m also not particularly into “role playing” for sex, although I have certainly tried it.
While the real aficionados will say that this is not so much about role play, but about bringing forward those repressed desires, I see it as something beyond what my imagination is ready for at this point. I don’t know if I really have any “repressed desires” that involve submission. And sadly, I think the “repressed desires” I have on the dominant side don’t involve using those floggers in a sexual way. Let’s set those aside as “occasional homicidal desires” for when certain bitches want to interfere in my life.
I suspect most women, when they are suggesting this is their biggest fantasy, have the idea of light bondage in mind: being tied down with his silk ties, being teased while blindfolded and hearing him describe really naughty things as he torments her physically. The idea of trustingly surrendering control – even though it may be just the binding of our hands – is the titillation. I don’t imagine in this survey, a St. Andrew’s cross is what they really have in mind.
For me, an idea to be explored … perhaps? Maybe my own brilliant Fifty Shades of Andee for some bedtime reading!