Beginnings | How Things Have Changed

Ever have one of the days … you know, where you just can’t wait for that door to close behind you as you leave.

Sheesh.

Anyway, yesterday I was telling you about how my naughty little hobby all came together. The second part to Bushmonke’s question was what has changed in the years that I have been doing the website. I had to think about this one quite a bit; I wasn’t sure if he meant what had changed with me, or what changes have I seen overall, with the site, etc.

Settle in guys, this is a bit longer than normal. Free cheesy-poofs to everyone who gets to the end in one piece.

On a personal level, quite a lot has changed since my website went live in July 2002. Perhaps the biggest has been the beginning of a whole new kind of sexual adventure - of which I have blogged about quite a bit.

When I first started, I was pretty naïve about the idea of having a website and what it might mean. I never considered how it would become a big part of my life at home with my husband - nor did I imagine it would become a big part of some of your lives. Over the years I have chatted with hundreds of different guys who have visited my site, become members, and some who have become friends. I learned that for a few, women like me - web models - become a big solution to their loneliness. And for others, a big part of their fantasies.

Andee / Circa 1994

I never expected that some would even want advice from me, but I have spent time as a “relationship counsellor,” “dating expert” and “virtual girlfriend.” I’ve had cyber sex, webcammed and held “Meet Me” auctions.

But the biggest change, which may not have been what you were really looking for, is how my life and future has been affected by my choices. I have a hobby that I can’t share with my dearest friends, and only told my family out preservation from meddling people. I can’t tell people at work that I spent the weekend doing hardcore videos and photo shoots. I can’t tell my frustrated girlfriends which sex toy will make their hair stand on end in mere seconds; and I can’t call in sick on Monday and tell them my friction burn is too bad for me to work.

That said, I admit that I put more conscious effort into the things I do for my website. I take (most) criticism as constructive, and I try often to invite you guys into my little world. My lingerie collection has grown to “hoarding” status … and I’ve put several sex toys into retirement! When the economy tanked, I made sure the folks at Duracell had no fears of a slowdown in battery sales.

What hasn’t changed is that I’m still trying to figure out what you guys really like to see from me, and if there is a true niche that I fit into … and let’s be honest, I’m also constantly trying to find ways to keep you guys interested in what I’m offering so you will stick with me and not get bored and move on.

And then there’s the darker reality. Any ambitions I had for a more “public” life will never happen. Pornography doesn’t go away, even if you take down a website. Thousands of my pictures are out there and I can’t take them back. My decisions at any one point can turn against me.

On the upside … I have been able to explore a level of sexuality that kind of sat in the back of my imagination. Through my website, and what it has done for me in terms of being a more sexually in-tune person, I have lived some incredible fantasies. I doubt I would have ever made any attempts to satisfy my bi-sexual curiosities if I didn’t have my site. I doubt I would have been a willing and enthusiastic participant in exploring the swinging side of life (but I still harbour much more curiosity there).

I’ll save what it has meant to my relationship with my husband for another day ;-)

On a more general level, in the nine years I have been doing my version of amateur porn, there has been many changes.

While it doesn’t seem all that long ago when I started, there have been a number of trends in amateur porn. It used to be that a really hot photo set attracted an awful lot of attention, then the trend went to a bit more multi-media - photos, with video clips. These days the trend is definitely moving a lot more aggressively to video. And it’s getting harder to distinguish between the true amateur and the professional porn star with a weekend off.

Then again, can we even say that I’m an amateur anymore?

When we started, just having a page on a website like Southern Charms was something. The site hosted just over 400 different Charms. Today it hovers close to 800, and has added a number of new options, such a video sales and individual photo set sales. As models we have become webmasters and social networking experts. We have turned from naughty housewives into “brands.’

With so much out there on the Internet these days, especially free porn, the competition has increased 10 times over - even on our own website. I mentioned the economy just a few sentences ago, and that has been one of the most dramatic changes I think we’ve seen. Up until 2008, everyone I know was doing quite well. Sales and rebills were stable and we were trying hard to keep all you guys hard.

When the latest collapse came, the industry turned a bit more sour. More free sites emerged, along with all the stolen content - which guys take from our sites and then put on other sites, forums and newsgroups, either pretending they’re us or even bolding admitting theft. But I guess they don’t see it that way. I’m not sure if they would think the same if I just came along, took their car and dropped it off at a used-car lot and said it was mine. For some reason, and it’s a much longer debate than just this, nude images of women are fair game.

Copyright law is catching on, but not fast enough to make the hosts of those kinds of websites and newsgroups feel any pressure.

Still here? As promised, here's your cheesy poofs ...

But then even off of the web I think we are generally becoming a much nastier society. I see it everyday in my job and my commute. There’s no respect anymore.

Along with the more determined marketing schemes, the web in general has changed. Today it is a bigger 2.0 world, which means we also have had to look at ways to make our naughty little hobby a more interactive one.

Andee     xoxo