Porn | It Can Be Good For Relationships

As you know, in some of my previous blogs I have been an advocate for pornography in relationships. I don't see it as the great evil and "straight to hell" factor in life. Of course, when you are someone who has an adult website and a series of sex videos, it's kind of hard not to be.

But that is when it is not a complete obsession.

I mean, I hope that when you feel the need, or slight obsession, that I can be a part of it. But at the same time, my naughty little secret is intended to be something that is seen as entertainment and certainly not a deviant part of society and responsible for the downfall of western civilization as we know it.

Yesterday I was reading an article on the Internet about how porn can play a healthy role in a relationship and I had that brief moment of vindication. I do believe that certain kinds of porn can be very useful in helping couples establish a starting point for discussing fantasies, desires, etc.

For example, I knew my husband was a long-time porn enthusiast. I also knew he had a naughty collection on our home computer. One night, when we were having a bit of fun, he pulled out the laptop and opened up some pictures of a threesome scene as he did me from behind. As the sex heated up, he was also fucking my mind, putting my imagination into that scene. Kinky for me at the moment, but he had tapped into one of my biggest fantasies and allowed me to really open up to him about my thoughts.

And over time we have gone back to this same way of sharing and exploring together...sometimes casually using porn to hint at new fantasies.

"The biggest misconception about porn is that it's always degrading and shameful," says Teesha Morgan, a sex therapist in Vancouver. "However, it can also empower women to take control of their sexuality." This isn't to say porn can't cause relationship problems. And this really isn't to say that everyone should watch it, especially if you'd rather not. But if you're so inclined, finding porn you enjoy watching can really heat up your sex life"

The article further states: With the ubiquity of steamy on-demand videos and websites catering to every kink conceivable, porn is more mainstream and more easily (and anonymously) accessible than ever - and guys aren't the only ones tuning in. A study published in 2008 found that nearly one in three women aged 18 to 26 reported using porn (compared to nearly nine in 10 guys in the same age group). Its popularity might be even higher among slightly older women, suggests Debby Herbenick, a research scientist and associate director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University in Bloomington. "I do think, like a lot of things about sex, porn use becomes more common in the mid-20s and 30s - related in part to being in a long-term relationship and wanting to keep things fresh."

And there is certainly nothing wrong with keeping things fresh!

Andee     xoxo