June 18, 2011

Tool Chest | What A Woman Needs

Hey guys! What a crazy stretch the past week has been … one day off in eight … plus a bit of bad news on my hubby’s side. Makes for a less than sexy time, so I missed a couple days of catching up with all of you. To make it up, how about a relatively rare Saturday blog from me!

I know, I know … I, too, can barely contain my enthusiasm!

For a bit of fun on this wonderful weekend (hey, tomorrow is Father’s Day!), I thought I would invite you into my bedroom this morning (morning sex?) and share some of the things that I believe every woman needs to have at her disposal - and if she has a great partner like you, she will really want to spend some intimate time under the sheets. Admittedly, some of this list is borrowed, but I don’t think you’ll mind.

And so, anyone want to come and do some inventory in my boudoir?

Ten Sex Tools Every Woman Needs

1. A Pillow
A well-placed pillow can help you get into new positions and add sexy variety to old favourites. Try tucking a pillow under your butt in missionary position or put it between your legs while spooning. Of course, it also works the traditional way: under your head. Lately I have been thinking I should talk my hubby into buying one of those Liberator bedroom wedges … they look like a lot of fun!

2. A Vibrator
The question isn't why get a vibrator; it's why not? You can use one on your own to explore what feels good, or with your partner to add a new dimension to sex together. Women who use vibrators report higher levels of sexual satisfaction with their partners, increased libido, and easier orgasms, according to research by Redbook Magazine. My own collection has outgrown my night-stand drawer in the past couple years!

3. A Lube You Love
Not only does lube make everything glide more smoothly, it can also help make sex last longer (because you won't dry out) and make it easier to try different positions. To find one, sample as many as you can. Lube is a very personal thing, and the fun is in finding one that you love and your body loves. Water-based lubes are best if you're worried about allergies, while silicone-based varieties last longer. Mix things up with formulas that tingle or warm, or taste good!

4. Just-for-fun Toys
Whether they're tame (feather ticklers, whipped cream) or not so tame (fuzzy cuffs, whips, bondage straps), playful props add excitement to the mix. My husband installed a 'secret' heater vent to hide the hook for my sex swing when not in use.

5. A Great Sex Book
When it comes to sex, you just can't know too much. That's why it helps to have a sex manual that covers the full gamut, from anatomy to vibrators. Read it over a glass of wine and use it as a conversation starter. One of our favourites is one that requires you to ask each other some pretty unusual questions and tie it back to intimacy.

6. Kegels
Kegel exercises tone and strengthen your pubococcygeal (PC) muscles, also known as your pelvic floor muscles. The stronger those muscles are, the stronger the intensity of orgasm, not just with a partner but by yourself. Exercising these muscles also promotes blood flow and lubrication, which leads to heightened desire and arousal. And you can squeeze your PCs during sex to add to his pleasure and yours — the squeezing action stimulates the hidden inner part of your clitoris. To do basic Kegels, squeeze as if you're stopping the flow of urine, then release. Guys can do them too for better erections…and you all know how I feel about better erections!

7. A CD That Turns You On
Everyone knows that great music can set the tone for a romantic evening. But guys, when going for the panty-remover music, keep in mind that the latest release from your favourite death metal band may get you stoked, but press pause for a moment and ask what songs put her in the mood. I’m willing to bet guitar anthems about dead puppies are not on the list.

8. Sexy Lingerie
Wearing lingerie helps me look, feel, and think sexy.  It doesn't have to be from Frederick's of Hollywood to be arousing. Get her to wear whatever makes her feel sexy and self-assured, whether it's a cami and boy shorts, a satin gown and sexy heels, or a push-up bra and a thong. You can also use clothing to experiment with different roles. Need some ideas? Stop by my website to see me in, literally, thousands of different pics … and in some I even have clothes on!

9. Erotica
Erotica can get you in the mood, keep you in the mood, and spark a lifetime of creative ideas to try out with your partner. And by "erotica" I mean any material that jump-starts your arousal and helps you plug into your fantasies — a sexy movie, an erotic story, an X-rated flick, even a good old-fashioned romance novel. I just recently finished a couple books by erotica writer Shayla Black, and they were marvellously steamy and gave me some very hot thoughts. Find movies that are for women by women. It will help erase that "porn" stereotype from her mind. I really enjoy the stuff produced by former porn star Candida Royalle, hot guys, hot girls and a storyline.

10. Honesty
You can't slip it under your pillow or into your bedside drawer, but honesty might just be the most important tool of all. Communication is the key ...

Hope you're having an awesome day guys! I'm off to buy some new batteries this afternoon ...
Andee     xoxo

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