May 10, 2011

Fantasies | When They Become Reality

When you were young, did you have one of those “must haves” in life, where you saw something – a toy, a bike, a video game – and you just had to have it? You would go to bed every night and fall asleep dreaming about it, trying to figure out exactly how you would come to acquire it. And then when you got what you wanted so badly, you were actually disappointed because it didn’t live up to your expectations?
Is three really company ... or just the beginning?

I compare a lot of fantasies to that idea when people ask about mine. Over the past five months I have spent a lot of time putting together my wildest dreams and sexual fantasies into this blog, so I get the chance to revisit them quite often and keep them fresh in my mind. Fantasies in life – be they sexual or magical – are healthy and important to have. They help keep the imagination alive, the libido high, and actually reduce stress by allowing our minds to drift, shut out reality and unclutter.

But I was having a deep chat the other night with an online friend about chasing fantasies and what happens when I actually get to turn one of my own into reality. I had just finished ready this incredibly erotic novel and I don't mind saying, it fueled a desire to chase a few more myself!

Not Always Perfect
When you have a fantasy, especially a sexual one, it plays out perfectly in your mind. The awkwardness and human complications of the moment never really come to the surface. For example, I know a lot of guys fantasize about sexually enjoying two women at the same time. And while those are some pretty hot dreams, what might really play out in the whole scene is someone will get left out. What happens if that blonde you have been dreaming about feels so incredible that you are left unable to complete the same act with her super-sexy brunette friend? Or what if you suddenly find out that your two friends would rather you just sit back and enjoy the show while the get their own fantasies fulfilled?

Hey, these are things that happen in reality!

The guys I know who have shared this idea with me have an answer ready … but I think you know what I am getting at. Does your fantasy have you rocking these two hot babes all night and your reality have you lasting a little less than that? That is what happens when sexual fantasies become realities … someone is bound to finish a little sooner than someone else. It doesn’t mean it’s the end of the fantasy, it just means a sexual partner with a good imagination will come prepared for more options.

We have pursued one of my big fantasies a couple different times. And for me, while you might say the fantasy has become reality, truth be told it hasn’t entirely made that full transition. There is still very much of my fantasy attached to the ideas that we dabbled with … and maybe some day will work towards again. Or at least, I hope.

When you reach the point of involving other people physically in your sex life, a lot of the preconceived notions need to be done away with, and the moment enjoyed for what it is. Sometimes achieving a sexual fantasy may mean going back to the bedroom a few times to accomplish all those ideas you had in mind to begin with. And, given the heightened sexual excitement of everyone involved – assuming we’re sticking with the multiple partners fantasy for a moment – may mean a bit more give and take than you dreamed of in the first place.

I guess that is one of the reasons why I started with the analogy of “one heel on the highway.” A sexual adventure takes many steps to reach its peak … and you hope that when you get to that point you see that there are many other paths you can take next.

Fantasies for me tend to be that way. You may get to the point where you can put a notch on the bedpost, but if it’s just one notch it looks more like a dent in the wood than a scorecard for your bedroom gymnastics.

Andee     xoxo

1 comment:

Bill P said...

I think the big thing in turning a fantasy into reality is flexibility and understanding that perfection doesn't have to be in the moment. Just sit back and enjoy.