People Watching | It's A Fine Art

Well, here we are in the midst of another week closer to summer! I don’t know about you, but I love seeing how everyone is ditching the winter clothing and starting to dress a little more skimpy. And yes, that applies to guys too. I love this new-look, sleek, form-fitting business dress fashion a lot of the guys are wearing today.

As a shameless people-watcher, this time of year is one of my favourites because it means we emerge from hibernation and ditch the parkas. Then you go the store to buy a new swimsuit for summer vacation and realize the parka was a better choice!

The timing of all this is kind of funny: I was listening to the radio on my way to the train station this morning and the hosts were talking about “cheating.” Ok, one of those Scooby-Doo moments when you cck your ears and go “arroo?”

But what they were really talking about was how the one male host got busted by his wife for looking at another woman in the grocery store. The discussion revolved around whether or not this counted as “cheating.” Of course, I was almost yelling at the radio - because they were suggesting that this is something that, once you are married or in a serious relationship, should stop.

No way!

It made me want to call in an tell them about my little summer flirting contest, last week's office adventure, human sexuality … all of it!

I realize that I may be at a point in this spiralling sexually-charged moment in my life where rational thinking has been replaced with risk and I may not be a credible candidate for what many believe to be typical marital living … regardless, looking at another person is certainly not “cheating.”

There was an article published in one of those trashy magazines talking about how modern humans are basically fighting against how nature has us wired. We are among the few living creatures that have sex for pleasure - and at the same time, there is growing debate as to whether or not our species is truly meant for monogamy. Don’t misread what I am saying - I’m perfectly happy in a monogamous relationship. But, that said, I also know that just because of it that I am no longer allowed to notice other members of my same species.

Can you tell the science geek is coming out …

Sexual Competition
Anyway, from a more personal perspective, I believe we need to keep a relationship sexually charged, and the element of competition is what keeps (some) relationships alive. There is an important part of our libido that relies on knowing we have a sexual attraction to other people. In our genetic make-up, our relationships rely on not reaching a level of complacency … but each of us needs to find that fine line on our own.

My husband and I have discussed this very thing on quite a few occasions. I’d be lying if I didn’t say I’ve had many moments in my relationship when I wonder why he thinks the way he does - seriously, who comes up with some of these schemes: flirting contests, flashing garter-belts to other men, blogging endlessly about my sexual thoughts, all that stuff. But when those moments happen, the excitement, the eroticisim … how my heart beats so hard and fast I think you could see it through my shirt … all of it reminds me that I am alive and living, not just merely existing and taking up space.

The point we need to understand is the motivation for why we look at other people in a sexual interest way … and then explore if these actions create a sense of jealousy in our partners. Intrigue is healthy, control is not - and that is where jealousy leads, to controlling.

I’m also not naïve to think that these days I am all that and more. We all have flaws, and I know mine quite well.

I blogged before about how I struggled with the after-fact of cutting my hair short - which led to some of this year’s naughty moments - because I felt I wasn’t noticed as much. Yes, that is vanity talking, but vanity is also a very important emotion in our society. It’s just to what level do you take it? Some do go overboard (Paris Hilton) but when it is managed correctly, it is what keeps our mood positive, our life happy and our sex dirty.

Andee     xoxo

Get Her To Pose For You | Tip #3

Ok, so now we have a very general idea of how to actually make the sexy photo session work, now the big question is “How do we make it happen?”

I wish I had an easy answer for you, but there isn’t really one. There are more challenges than reasons. The other day we heard it again from a wannabe big star about being embarrassed by nude photos of them that had been leaked on the Internet. This time it was Vanessa Hudgens … again. I guess the girl never learns. The Usher and Chris Brown nude photo scandals? No one cares if a male celebrity gets naked. Come on guys, the Red Hot Chili Peppers get nekkid as part of the concert … and they bring socks.

So, with the headlines and gossip that issues like this bring to our daily lives, it creates your biggest hurdle in getting her to pose naked for you: trust.

Sure, she might trust you to look after the children for a night while she goes out with the girls, or maybe to hang the wallpaper in the back bedroom and get the trash out to the curb on a Tuesday morning. She might even trust you to party at the Playboy mansion on Superbowl Sunday without a need for a full-body dousing of penicillin.

But, despite all that, the one thing she may not trust you to do is stop behaving like a 14-year old boy with her newly exposed reputation … and in today’s day and age, that means no Internet. And no smart-phone wallpapers either.

The challenge is overcoming her fear of trusting you to protect the one thing that we women cling to more desperately that a shipwreck survivor to a life ring: our reputation. Well, at least some do … but my story is for another day if you haven’t already read the previous 100+ entries of my blog and followed the carnage that was a ‘normal’ life for yours truly.

So, how do you win her trust? If she doesn’t have it, it won’t come overnight. Lots and lots … and lots … of communication, reassurance. You not only need to calm her fears, but you also need to build her ego bigger than some over-rated basketball player with an hour-long TV special. If for one moment she doesn’t feel like the goddess of all goddesses, chances are you have an awful lot of work ahead of you.

And be sincere and honest with your intentions. It may be that the last time she let some horny guy talk her into doing something before she had time to fully appreciate the full ramifications she lost her virginity.

Setting aside all my sarcasm for a moment, this isn’t about making her feel like she is competing with Playboy models or Victoria's Secret Angels. This is about making your special lady feel like she is just that - special, sexy, confident and desirable.

Lobster Bisque helps. Jewellery works.

Andee     xoxo

Get Her to Pose For You | Tip #2

Long before I met my husband I did some actual modelling. I worked with a couple different photographers at the time - one of whom won an international award with a photo he took of me. I learned a great deal in those days about how to work with the camera and the photographer - because those are two very different things, believe it or not.

I know some people who get very nervous once a camera shows up, and so it does take a bit of time to learn to be relaxed and forget as much as you can that someone is taking pictures.

Posture & Angles

The biggest tip I can pass along from these early days to anyone who has to be in front of the lens is know your facial angles. For me, now that I am no longer a teenager, is how to keep my chin at a flattering angle to prevent the appearance of the dreaded ‘double chin.’ And trust me, even if you are a ‘perfect weight’ stunning woman, the way the neck flows into the jaw line will create a double chin regardless. It’s the way we are built. Even those size-0 underwear models.

When I get a little absorbed in a photo session - because let‘s be honest, it‘s not a typical thing to be standing around in your living room on a Tuesday afternoon dropping your knickers - my photographer will occasionally remind me to lift my chin. He knows that the better I look in the photos, the better results for you guys, and the better I feel about it from all points of view.

If you have to remind your lady as you take the photos, don’t sugar-coat it - BUT don’t say “lift your chin cause you got two chins.” Trust me on this; say that and you won’t even be taking family vacation snapshots at Disney World. My photographer just says, simply “Chin up” and keeps shooting … same with the “Suck it in” for these days as I’m not in the same shape I was back a couple years ago. But that’s changing ;-)

And give direction to her. Tell her when a pose isn’t working, and compliment the crap out of her when they are. Someone I know personally that owns a very good digital camera sometimes forgets about these tips - so make sure you remind her to ask you how she is doing as the session progresses.

Which brings up a good point here. No one is perfect, and no home photo shoot will ever match those Playboy sets you like so much. Unless you’ve got several thousands to drop on a stylist, props/backdrops, lighting (more on lighting coming up). Having said that, it pays to look at magazines like that - together - to find poses that you like and then can try to mimic in your own session.

A couple other tips about angles:

1. Don’t have her stand square to the camera. Turning the hips and shoulders will make a person seem slimmer and create more flattering lines.
2. Remind her to keep breathing naturally.
3. Get her to use a variety of facial expressions and don’t always look at the camera.
4. Have her use her arms - hands on hips, breasts, above her head - instead of just hanging down on the sides.
5. For great cleavage, have her: lean forward; bring arms together at the waist and clasp her hands together at the waist, keeping her arms straight at the elbows; or cross her arms.

Andee     xoxo

Get Her To Pose For You | Tip #1

A while back I was writing an answer to a question that one of you guys had asked me. It was on how to get your wife/girlfriend to pose for some … um … naughty photos.

At the time I tried to present a pretty good idea that there were a few things that had to be overcome before that would likely happen. But then, after some thought, I figured there was probably a few out there that might actually have a real interest in trying it; maybe not to the extent that my husband and I do, but you know, we didn’t start out thinking we were going to do an adult website.

So, after sitting down with my ‘photographer partner’ I have come up with some basic ideas that will help you along if you really want to get some sexy photo shoots going. Over the next few Tuesdays I’ll present my thoughts and suggestions on what I tend to keep in mind when we shoot. But please keep in mind that we’re just a couple of regular people like you … so all of this is just coming from experience and not any kind of real expertise. I just hope it helps you out, if this is something you and your partner want to try.

Super Sexy: heels & man's shirt

So now she has said “maybe” to letting you take some photos for “personal pleasure only.” Probably the one thing going on in her mind before it moves to the “yes” stage is what would she wear. I know there are other factors before getting to “yes,” and I’ll touch on the biggest one later on. But if she has any comfort with taking it forward, she’s going to be pretty typical - “What do I wear? What do you think is sexy?”

This is someone we all struggle with. Even after some 22,000 photos on my website alone - plus hundreds of others for different things in life - the idea of clothing never gets easy. I’ve tried to present a wide array of looks for my website fans, from “naughty nursery rhyme” characters to as close to the everyday me you can get to pseudo BDSM. I’ve bought costumes off eBay, travelled to lingerie trade shows, sex shops and, thankfully, had some very special guys send me items for updates.

But guys, for the first time … have a plan. Have something in mind that doesn’t come with attachments for the chandelier in the foyer, and try to keep it somewhat “traditional” to ease into the whole thing.

For this kind of photo set, you might think of lingerie as the go to … and there is nothing wrong with that. The traditional stockings and garter belt is a pretty safe concept. In the almost 10 years that I have been doing my website, this look remains as one of the most requested. In fact, back before my husband and I got into the amateur porn for other people’s viewing pleasure, I would wear black stockings and garter belt for those early photo sessions - they were also one of the first pieces of lingerie he bought me.

When I first brought the idea of this series up to him, and about the clothing, the first thing out of his mouth was “one of my dress shirts.” A lot of guys really seem to like this idea, heck there’s rock video after rock video with some sexy chick rolling around a bed in the guy’s dress shirt. Personally, I’m at a loss why you guys find this look sexy - but there is not a single hormone in my body that will complain.

And although I searched high and low for a copy … I honestly think they are in storage somewhere … the very first photo session I did for my guy - before we were married and topless for the first time ever on camera. I was ’barely legal’ and my breasts were amazing. God I wish I had them back … Anyway, for the photos I was in a pair of sexy black jeans, a western-style vest and cowboy hat. I know, very cliché for a small-town farm girl. But guess what? He got me topless for a sexy photo shoot.

Things only got more kinky from there …

Andee     xoxo

Moving Pictures | My Live-Action Fears

I had mentioned in one of my earlier blogs that I got this sense that a lot of what is happening on the Internet these days - particularly in areas such as my naughty little hobby - is headed towards more and more video-based content.

On the advice of my husband I have temporarily forgone the saucy romance novels for my daily commute for a couple of books on marketing and social media. Part of it has been to encourage me further with my blogging and becoming more active in the behind the scenes part of my website. I suggested, in turn, he get his “nekkid ass” to the frontlines. But for now I think he is settling for a mutual appearance with me. I love him dearly, but I do suspect you guys may be in this for me, and not so much for him … pardon the brief flash of vanity.

For me, the idea of more videos is kind of a scary direction. I’ve never considered myself an actress, and doing a lot of the videos I do for you guys takes a certain amount of working up to. I always feel a little awkward in them, and struggle to get into “character.” Often when we are putting on all the final touches my hubby will get frustrated with me commenting on how ridiculous I sound or look, etc., and send me to the couch to watch TV while he works on the final version.

It took me a long time before I introduced any videos onto my site because I could never truly feel comfortable doing them. And while I do have over 20 available - with the latest one going up this week - it was a big change in my plans for this thing. I spent a long time trying to internally justify the photos, and then adding the pressure of video sent me into cold sweats.

It’s challenging to see myself doing something of those things without my conscience questioning my fate. And now with the idea of the web headed into more videos, I find myself struggling to come up with reasonable ideas to present; or at least ideas that will sell and not make you go “WTF is that about?”

I’m not sure what it is that intimidates me so much. I guess part of it is how “live action” brings more of the real me behind “Andee” to the surface. And that real me is a very shy and reserved person at best. I never considered how my “work” would “humanize” the whole idea. Doing picture sets is fairly easy because I don’t have to act much. When things aren’t working, we can edit out those moments, or fake it. With video, however, you have to be a bit more engaging.

I think something else that scares me about doing them is how much will they spoil the fantasy - or how much will they create it. The unknown is always a bit frightening, regardless if it is sex or the Haunted House at Halloween. Like so many others, uncertainty for me is a stressful thing.

Andee     xoxo

Beginnings | How Things Have Changed

Ever have one of the days … you know, where you just can’t wait for that door to close behind you as you leave.

Sheesh.

Anyway, yesterday I was telling you about how my naughty little hobby all came together. The second part to Bushmonke’s question was what has changed in the years that I have been doing the website. I had to think about this one quite a bit; I wasn’t sure if he meant what had changed with me, or what changes have I seen overall, with the site, etc.

Settle in guys, this is a bit longer than normal. Free cheesy-poofs to everyone who gets to the end in one piece.

On a personal level, quite a lot has changed since my website went live in July 2002. Perhaps the biggest has been the beginning of a whole new kind of sexual adventure - of which I have blogged about quite a bit.

When I first started, I was pretty naïve about the idea of having a website and what it might mean. I never considered how it would become a big part of my life at home with my husband - nor did I imagine it would become a big part of some of your lives. Over the years I have chatted with hundreds of different guys who have visited my site, become members, and some who have become friends. I learned that for a few, women like me - web models - become a big solution to their loneliness. And for others, a big part of their fantasies.

Andee / Circa 1994

I never expected that some would even want advice from me, but I have spent time as a “relationship counsellor,” “dating expert” and “virtual girlfriend.” I’ve had cyber sex, webcammed and held “Meet Me” auctions.

But the biggest change, which may not have been what you were really looking for, is how my life and future has been affected by my choices. I have a hobby that I can’t share with my dearest friends, and only told my family out preservation from meddling people. I can’t tell people at work that I spent the weekend doing hardcore videos and photo shoots. I can’t tell my frustrated girlfriends which sex toy will make their hair stand on end in mere seconds; and I can’t call in sick on Monday and tell them my friction burn is too bad for me to work.

That said, I admit that I put more conscious effort into the things I do for my website. I take (most) criticism as constructive, and I try often to invite you guys into my little world. My lingerie collection has grown to “hoarding” status … and I’ve put several sex toys into retirement! When the economy tanked, I made sure the folks at Duracell had no fears of a slowdown in battery sales.

What hasn’t changed is that I’m still trying to figure out what you guys really like to see from me, and if there is a true niche that I fit into … and let’s be honest, I’m also constantly trying to find ways to keep you guys interested in what I’m offering so you will stick with me and not get bored and move on.

And then there’s the darker reality. Any ambitions I had for a more “public” life will never happen. Pornography doesn’t go away, even if you take down a website. Thousands of my pictures are out there and I can’t take them back. My decisions at any one point can turn against me.

On the upside … I have been able to explore a level of sexuality that kind of sat in the back of my imagination. Through my website, and what it has done for me in terms of being a more sexually in-tune person, I have lived some incredible fantasies. I doubt I would have ever made any attempts to satisfy my bi-sexual curiosities if I didn’t have my site. I doubt I would have been a willing and enthusiastic participant in exploring the swinging side of life (but I still harbour much more curiosity there).

I’ll save what it has meant to my relationship with my husband for another day ;-)

On a more general level, in the nine years I have been doing my version of amateur porn, there has been many changes.

While it doesn’t seem all that long ago when I started, there have been a number of trends in amateur porn. It used to be that a really hot photo set attracted an awful lot of attention, then the trend went to a bit more multi-media - photos, with video clips. These days the trend is definitely moving a lot more aggressively to video. And it’s getting harder to distinguish between the true amateur and the professional porn star with a weekend off.

Then again, can we even say that I’m an amateur anymore?

When we started, just having a page on a website like Southern Charms was something. The site hosted just over 400 different Charms. Today it hovers close to 800, and has added a number of new options, such a video sales and individual photo set sales. As models we have become webmasters and social networking experts. We have turned from naughty housewives into “brands.’

With so much out there on the Internet these days, especially free porn, the competition has increased 10 times over - even on our own website. I mentioned the economy just a few sentences ago, and that has been one of the most dramatic changes I think we’ve seen. Up until 2008, everyone I know was doing quite well. Sales and rebills were stable and we were trying hard to keep all you guys hard.

When the latest collapse came, the industry turned a bit more sour. More free sites emerged, along with all the stolen content - which guys take from our sites and then put on other sites, forums and newsgroups, either pretending they’re us or even bolding admitting theft. But I guess they don’t see it that way. I’m not sure if they would think the same if I just came along, took their car and dropped it off at a used-car lot and said it was mine. For some reason, and it’s a much longer debate than just this, nude images of women are fair game.

Copyright law is catching on, but not fast enough to make the hosts of those kinds of websites and newsgroups feel any pressure.

Still here? As promised, here's your cheesy poofs ...

But then even off of the web I think we are generally becoming a much nastier society. I see it everyday in my job and my commute. There’s no respect anymore.

Along with the more determined marketing schemes, the web in general has changed. Today it is a bigger 2.0 world, which means we also have had to look at ways to make our naughty little hobby a more interactive one.

Andee     xoxo

Beginnings | How I First Got Naked

I have said before that I am a big voyeur. I love to people-watch, and not just in a sexual way. I’m fascinated by others, their habits and how they interact, dress, carry themselves. Right now, as I am tucked into the back corner seat of the train, I’m watching this Dutch couple in front of me. Like I imagine what commuting must be like in Europe, they have brought an almost full breakfast onto the train with them - proper picnic breakfast, not Tim Hortons bagels and coffee. Fruit, crackers, cheese (with a knife?!). These are moments that make these mornings unique and send my mind away from the mundane routine working in the city has become. 

One of the questions I get very now and then - and something most recently asked by my Twitter friend Bushmonke - was how I got started in my naughty little hobby, and what has changed in the years since.  friend

Kind of a loaded backend to that question ;-) 

You know, I don’t think that any woman really grows up with dreams of being a “porn star” - amateur or professional. As we mature, we may embrace the idea, find a comfort level, or fascination with it. But I can’t see a little girl aspiring to it. 

I started my website in July 2002. I bet if you had asked me in July 2001 if I would have been doing something like this I would have said “no way.” 

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I had done some modeling as a teenager, and had some photographic fun of a more adult nature with my husband, but I didn’t aspire to becoming a Southern Charm. There was a number of reasons why things have gone the way they have. Shortly after 9/11/2001, my husband lost his job. While it was a bit of a depressing time - we had a 20-month old and 5-month old - he wasn’t going to be defeated by it. Thankfully, through some business contacts he had in the entertainment industry, he managed to get something going while looking for work back in his primary career. That took about 7 months. 

So, at the stage we were looking at the reality of our situation. We had managed to tread water, but still were left - like so many other people - with some intimidating debt. 

Not connected to that, we never lost our sense of adventure and intimacy as a couple. There were points when I wasn’t exactly feeling like a desirable woman, having just had two children, struggling with our new financial reality as we had agreed I would stay home with our children until they were in school. One weekend, my husband and I made a silly bet, which I lost, and the “consequence” was he was going to prove that I could still attract the attention of other men. At first I had no clue how he was going to do this, until he introduced me to an amateur website, the kind where all the photos are posted by every day women. 

The “dare” was that if I received enough comments on my images to prove the argument, I would then have to post another series; this time more revealing. All that happened, and it wasn’t long after that we got an e-mail from one of the other posters on the site telling us about Southern Charms. We checked it out, read all the info and kind of left it at that for a bit. 

I was surprised by what we discovered though. Up until that point, all I had seen in “porn” on the Internet was professional model sites, and even those were only because I was snooping into someone’s surfing habits! But on SC there were women of all shapes, sizes and ages. I was pretty naïve to the idea that everyday women like me would be into something like this. It was enlightening, shocking, curious and erotic all at the same time. Together we kind of found a new appreciation for this “amateur” stuff. 

I think each of us was quietly thinking the same thing. About a month later my husband asked me, as he was cleaning out the e-mails, what my intentions were with the one about SC. I said: “I don’t know.” After about an hour of not saying anything, he just asked me “Do you want to try it?” 

Secretly I did want to, but was very nervous. This wasn’t just a couple of anonymous photos; this was my own site on the largest amateur website on the web! But it was the opportunity I needed, if for no other reason than to dispel the myth that my husband seemed to have about me, and any kind of broader sexual appeal. 

At first, we were both a bit clueless as to what we should be doing - in everything from photo size and quality to settings and outfits. One of my early sets - the one of me in a pantsuit - was taken after we got home from a friend’s wedding, as we kind of threw things out there. And none of it at the time was really about the money, as much as it was about the adventure and putting some extra spice into our marriage. But that said, with the stress of the debt we had accumulated, getting paid for being naked and having sex (while trying to pretend the camera wasn’t there) was turning into a liberating experience. 

I’m not going to recommend it for everyone – because there are some dark sides you have to prepare for. 

So, it took a while to figure out what was going to work. To this day, I’m still not sure … but I think I have found a little more understanding of the “niche” in where I fit. It was much easier to figure out what I am not as a model … 

It’s now been 9 years and well over 20,000 photos and dozens of mpgs and videos.

TOMORROW: Part 2 - What has changed? 

Andee     xoxo

Who Knows What You're Up To?

Hey guys, hope you’re all doing well. The weather is breaking here just a bit this week, with some warmer temperatures … but it is still winter. To help keep things steamy, I have a brand new update online today. I hope you stop by and check it out. It’s the first official “porn reveal” of my new haircut! ;-)

This Thursday is a bit of a Q&A, with questions that seem to come up every now and then when I get into chatting with online friends, and it’s something that I continually struggle with - partly the fear of being found out, and partly the torment of not being able to say "you should see how I spent last night!"

Day 19 - Guaranteed Lay

Do any of your family or friends know of your extracurricular hobby?

Only a very select few of my friends know about my site - and almost none that have children my kids are friends with. I'm very choosy about who I tell. It has to be someone who I have a great deal of trust in. Even if they are really good friends, I have to decide if I want them to know and see me that way because my experience has shown it changes how they treat me.

I have one good friend who is very uncomfortable with the subject and will change the subject or find something to do, even if it isn't about me directly. The funny thing is, she hangs out with a friend of mine who is totally cool with it and often likes to ask questions. Makes for a pretty bizarre moment when we‘re all together. But even though she knows, I trust her not to pass judgement on how or why and I respect her wishes to not go into any kinky details.

And then there are the little innuendoes I can throw out there to amuse myself in a group of people that have no idea about it - there has been many a flirtatious comment laid out on the table at work with my Office Guys to leave them with naughty impressions. I may be naïve about it, but I like to think they have no real clue that when I answer their questions about “How was the weekend?” with honest-to-goodness truths about swinger clubs or light bondage and sex toys.

No one has painted a scarlet letter on me just yet, anyway.

If so, do they accept you, or, have you lost friends because they disapprove of your lifestyle?

Their reactions have been very different for those that know. Some just avoid the subject, some think it's pretty cool and some tell me they wish they had the courage to do it. I've not lost any friends because of it, but I think that is because I am so choosy about who I let in on my little secret. On the other side, some friends - as you have read in an earlier blog - have certainly become a completely different kind of friend because of our lifestyle.

Now then, on the downside, I have a cousin who uncovered my sister's website through another person who had a really big mouth. In turn, they found out about my site and felt it was their place in life to inform my parents and entire extended family about what we were up to. I had chosen to tell my parents out of respect, so they wouldn't get sideswiped should this very situation occur. At my age, I wasn't looking for their approval, just didn't want them to find out from someone but me.

Some people in life need to tear other people down to make themselves look better. But really, it highlights just how pathetic their lives must be. I think it's more sad that they don't have a strong relationship with their spouse, and explore this kind of adult fun.

Have any of your women friends inquired about how they could discretely get into this hobby?

A few years ago, my sister found out about it and she got into experimenting with her own thing on the Internet. She has since quit for her own reasons. Another “lifestyle couple” we know also experimented with a site on Southern Charms, but have also since quit … but it can be a commitment of time and effort that isn’t for everyone; especially if you lead a busy real life.

But otherwise most of them are more worried about the consequences of being out there if they do try something naughty online. The fact that there are a lot of people who aren't as open-minded means the reality is I could lose my job because of it. This is something they worry about, and therefore won‘t even consider the risks. Some aren't so sure that is where their own relationship is at that kind of stage either.

For me, there is no doubt that a lot of things in my life will be different down the road. My political ambitions are pretty much out the window, as is my future as a Hollywood A-Lister. It seems only the B and C list celebs have their own sex tapes, and goodness knows I have dozens already and I’m not quite done!

Kidding aside, the reality of having an adult website - even if I choose to stop - means that the fear of being “outted” remains over my head. For whatever reason, the pursuit of sexual pleasure and the indulgence in “pornography” remain as very serious taboos in our society. Until we change our approach to what consenting adults choose to do, and invite other consenting adults to enjoy the moments with them, well … it just has to stay as one of my “dark secrets.”

That said, in the grand scheme of things, I think the benefits outweigh the negatives, as it has been worth it because my husband and I are so much closer and have a great relationship. I wouldn't trade that for anything … not to mention all the incredible sex I've had because of the photo sessions too ;-)

Andee

xoxo

Pornography | Or Just My Sexual Journey

Got into a little debate the other day with my sister - who knows all about my website (she used to have her own as well!) - about the idea of "pornography" versus "documentary."

Day 17 - Cum Fly With Me

I don't particularly see what I am doing on my website as "porn." To me, porn is the magazines, websites and videos done by professional actresses and actors, with the only purpose of making money. According to my trusty link to wikipedia, "Pornography or porn is the portrayal of explicit sexual subject matter for the purposes of sexual excitement and erotic satisfaction. A pornographic model poses for pornographic photographs. A pornographic actor or porn star performs in pornographic films. In cases where limited dramatic skills are involved, a performer in pornographic films may be called a pornographic model."

Now, I'm not naive enough to suggest that my site is not about paying to see sexual images of me; and the fact I do make some money at it may remove me from the truest definition of amateur. In fact, amateur "porn" is one of the most profitable genres - especially with the advent of digital cameras, video recorders and broad access to the Internet.

Day 18 - A Colourful Contrast

But I see what I am doing on my adult site, my blog, my videos as more of a "documentary" of my sexual exploration. I'm on this journey to discover a whole new part of me that is slowly bubbling to the surface and I have invited you along with me. A lot of what you are seeing isn't me trying to be something I'm not; it's something that I am that is now coming out into the open.

Unlike the "Playboy" type of pornography, the thoughts, fantasies and experiences included in the whole Internet world of Andee is very real. These are my thoughts, desires and adventures.

Of course, by definition, I am probably contradicting the whole thing - but isn't it more important (and hopefully exciting) for you to come along for the ride with me, as I explore and uncover new sexual desires. This way you get to be part of a real fantasy, instead of something carefully staged with professional lighting, make-up and settings. When I invite you into my bedroom, you are really there in my bedroom, where my fantasies take shape.

And I still bet that's an awful lot more fun!
Andee
xoxo

The Mane | What Is It About Long Hair

Well guys, I’m away this weekend but I promise I will try to hook up somewhere along the way to keep my 30 Favourites in 30 Days rolling along. Here's Day 14 for you!

And as much as your imagination wants to run wild with the prospect of me being on the town for a couple nights - it is sadly that time of year when more and more of our weekends are consumed by hockey tournaments for my little men.

Day 14 - Is Short Sexy Too?

That said, I’m hoping to get at least one new photo update shot. I’m dying to show off the next stage of my hairstyle. It’s a big departure for me because it is now very short. And it’s also a bit of a challenge for me in terms of how I feel about my looks. I was telling my husband earlier this week about how I have noticed that while I had long hair I would catch men stealing a little glance. Then after I lopped off more than half the length, there weren’t nearly as many glances … now that it is uber short, I’m wondering what the reaction will now be?

Just to ease my esteem a little, the very next day he told that he tried to look at as many women with short hair as he could - just in case they felt the same way. Very funny.

What is it about long hair that attracts a man’s attention so much? Is it because that it is the one (almost) guaranteed way to identify a woman?

Andee

xoxo

Role Play | I'm Just Not An Actress

Every now and then I get a request from a fan if I will get on the webcam and do a little role playing.

This is one area that in the nine years I have been doing my website that I have pretty much stayed away from. I suppose you could argue that the whole idea behind my little online secret is one big role play, but I’ve never considered it to be.

Day 13 - An Easier Role To Play

I can’t remember what we were watching when my hubby and I got into a deep discussion about it - it was one of those reality travel shows with this guy who goes around the whole in gets into all these bizarre sex experiences … anyway, an intriguing show. It was during the one episode where we started to talk about what some people are into, and some of the e-mails I get.

I’ve never considered myself an actress. And once my site really got rolling along, I even stopped thinking of it as ‘modelling.’ For me it just morphed into a kinky little sexual adventure, with a bit of financial reward, that fed my self-esteem as I got older and started to wonder about myself. I don’t think I’m an exceptionally vain person, although the more I blog the more I see that the idea is pretty self-absorbed.

Am I actually role playing with what I am doing online? It’s like I said in an earlier post, we do create this visual fantasy with the photo sessions; be it a schoolgirl, French maid or something else. But in my mind, while it is role playing, it is not in full context … they are just pictures.

I struggle a bit with the videos. As much fun as they are to make, they are equally as awkward. I tend to be very self-conscious and I get caught up in how silly I must look. Difficult because to keep my exploits going forward, video is more and more the way things are.

Most of what you guys see is not really who I am … it’s part of the person I am in my mind and in my pursuit of experience. But I do think of myself as someone who, in real face-to-face life, lacks the same kind of confidence that the “Andee” side of me reveals online. I do have my moments - and while you guys think all those sexual conquests of me exploring with my friend are what I am about - I don’t often reveal the sheer terror that goes with them. Yes, I loved the experience a few weekends ago with our friends, and the incredible sensations it brought - but while things were heating up and boiling over, I was almost petrified to the point of throwing up.

For me to be the kind of person who can pull off role playing, I would need to overcome being so self-conscious and my sense of thinking how ridiculous I must come across as. To play a role in a stage play is one thing, but to get on chat or webcam and role play in a sexual sense is something I just don’t think I could do in a serious sense.

Andee

xoxo

Naked Photos | Why Pose For Porn

Winter's back in my neighbourhood with a vengeance. Snowing again tonight, and it's expected to keep going until Monday, which I think totally sucks. Hubby is on the road for a couple days this week, leaving me to fend for myself a bit when it comes to blogging and carrying on. Oh well, hopefully you're all keeping warm with naughty thoughts while I wait for the weekend!

Here's something I hope you enjoy for today! This was something that came up in conversation this week, as it has in the past a few times. So, a bit more Q&A which I thought was a good one since I just posted a new update this week on my website ... I apologize if it comes out sounding a bit self-absorbed or vain.

What motivates you to pose for nude or sexual photography? Is it exhibitionism, a need of money, a desire to do something naughty, or something else entirely?

Well, I’d have to say it a little of all of that. Years ago (before I was legal age), I did some modeling for a local photographer. I always enjoyed the way it felt to be in front of the camera an d to be creative. One of his pictures of me won a national award for him, and hung in a local restaurant for years. Another photo won a photographer the chance to have his work hanging in the Canadian pavilion at Walt Disney World for a year ... I guess you could say that was a nice boost to my ego.

Andee - Update 337

When I met my husband, he was working as a photographer for a newspaper. The natural progression was that I did some modeling for him, and for some print advertising at the time. As things go with couples, over time, we started to explore our relationship and adventurous spirit a little bit more. We had a few fun moments in the darkroom back then!

Then, after I had my first child, I was feeling like a lot of women do: maybe not as attractive as that perky little teenager who modeled, and not quite the same woman my husband married. Although he always tried to make me feel I was still beautiful in his eyes, I didn’t feel it. By this time, the Internet was a big thing, and digital cameras were beginning to become affordable. When he bought one, we naturally “experimented” and then, on a bit of a dare (OK ... I lost the bet), posted a couple pics to an amateur, voyeur-type website. The comments that I got back on there were amazing. Although I do take what comments I get on the Internet with a big grain of reality salt, it still made me feel attractive and even more intrigued.

It’s one thing to know and feel that you are still the one for your husband, but I think every woman likes to know if she can still attract the attention of other men. There’s a little vanity in everyone, and this was one of mine ... it still is. It was kind of thrilling to know that a lot of guys enjoyed seeing these kind of naughty pictures of me. The thought kinda turned me on, and it certainly led to a lot of great moments with my husband.

Andee - Update 337

I guess I would say I am a bit of an exhibitionist. I love modeling – and have done some legitimate work over the years and hope to do more. I love the feeling of being the focus of someone’s creative attention, and I love the kind of excitement and fun it has brought to my marriage. I love feeling sexy and attractive, and I love the opportunity to get dressed up in all kinds of sexy clothes and lingerie. Creating this persona that has evolved in “Andee” has been a wonderful adventure in life – and hey, you only go around once. Life is too short for hang-ups.

After the amateur site experience, someone e-mailed us and told us about Southern Charms, where I now have my own site. The idea of taking this exhibitionism to a bigger level was both a little scary and exciting. There are a lot of times when I have enjoyed the whole concept of my naughty little secret – and times when it has become a nightmare. The idea of making a little extra money just for posing and getting undressed is also nice, but I wouldn’t say it’s the main reason why I chose to do it. If it was just about the money, I’d probably have gone a much more hardcore route, because that’s about the only way to really make the money in Internet “porn.” I’ll never quit my day-job on what we get from our naughty little hobby. But it’s much more exciting that collecting stamps!

Andee
xoxo

The Biz | My Take On Porn

Well, I have to tell you that I am no fan of all this crappy weather we are having. It is interfering with my ability to be stylish and dress like the reputation I seemed to have gained lately! At least some of you on here recognize that under all that winter clothing there is a woman who is immersed in her sexual prime with raging hormones and a constant desire to get laid.

And with that out in the open, I'm going to segue into a couple answers on a question that were recently sent to me. I'm thrilled that some of you are enjoying my blog and I'm loving sharing with you; so if you have anything you want to share, ask or whatever ... please feel free.

As a woman who is obviously into nudity and sexuality, what is your take on porn? Is there a difference between porn and erotica?
Some of it can be quite exciting. My husband and I are real voyeurs, so the idea of seeing two (or more) people engaged in something hot and heavy can be quite the turn-on. The debate around what is porn could go on forever. What do I think of when someone says porn – I think hardcore movies, really graphic kinda stuff. I don’t think the Playboy stuff is porn, and honestly, I don’t really see the kind of things I do as that either. Having said that, I know lots of people would disagree with me, and they’d say what I do is exactly porn. And of course, I’ve already had people tell me I will burn in hell for what I’m doing.

What I try to keep in my mind is that I’m having fun with my husband, making a little bit of money for getting’ naked, and loving all the interaction with you guys. In this kind of world today, I welcome the distraction and the occasional ego boost that I get from it all. The whole thing has been a wonderfully exciting and safe way to add a bit of spice to my marriage – which has become a lot stronger and more open for it. We don’t have the kind of hang-ups in life that a lot of our friends seem to have.

Do you find porn degrading?
I don’t find it degrading. There are some limits, obviously, that aren’t for me. As long as the idea is between consenting adults, why not celebrate sex and the human body. But the way I see what I do – although I hardly consider it “porn” – is you only go around once. When I’m 80, you guys might not be all that interested in seeing me naked. LOL

Is there a limit for which porn is acceptable? Is there such a big deal about looking at porn?
Obviously the biggest deal for me about limits is the legal age. There is truly something just wrong with child pornography, without question. I have a very hard time trying to understand anyone who could condone such a thing.

When you have two consenting adults, exploring things that are not breaking any laws, or hurting anyone, I don’t see that there is a big deal to it. I grew up in a very conservative environment, so I guess you could consider my outlook to be a little bit of a rebellion. Personally, the kind of porn that I enjoy involves men and women. I enjoy the couples stuff, or you know, moresomes. I’ve never really been one to get awfully excited about a guy just by himself in a pic…but that isn’t to say I don’t look ;-) And yes, I also check out the women.

I guess I’m not one to say whether or not having an issue with porn is right or wrong. I know that what works in my relationship with my hubby might not work for others. The whole issue surrounding porn took a while to get used to. Women just aren’t that comfortable with the whole concept. I can see why some women would feel that if their spouses are into it, it would be a problem. If their husbands aren’t making them feel like they are special, and they find a stash of Playboys – it can be a blow to the ego.

It took a bit of effort for me to be OK with it at first. There were (are) times when I have to admit that I can feel a little the same. But I do think I’m very lucky because my husband always finds those surprising ways to remind me that I’m the one he loves and enjoys in a sexual way, as well as all those other relationship things. Not to mention, I know all the messages and offers I get from you guys keeps him on his toes!

Andee
xoxo

How It All Began

Good morning. Sunday here and I'm thinking I should go to church for a change ... but I'm not ready to confess to all the delicious sins I've enjoyed lately! LOL Nothing like that creeping Catholic guilt in the back of my mind. My mom would be proud!

Things have been pretty crazy around here the past couple weekends. My husband's job gets us invited to quite a few great Christmas parties, as I have kind of alluded to in other posts. And being a dutiful wife, I always make sure he has someone on his arm! Not to mention, I love getting all dressed up and slipping on a pair of sexy heels. And the reactions that always creates is one of the best parts of the evening. I once read that by generating a little "sexual competition" in a man's mind helps heighten his desire ... so if I can show him that other men also notice me, then it pretty much guarantees Andee is going to have those heels pointing towards the ceiling at some point in the night!

My Gold Party Dress

Of course, I'm also not too shy with the occasional playful hint that if he's not up for the task, would it be OK for me to bring someone home. It's all in good flirtatious fun; the kind we have often tried to share with our friends as part of our secret for being together for so long. We don't have many hang ups, and pushing those sexual buttons becomes a bit of a game ... and there's usually no losers, if you know what I mean!

Anyway, this is also a bit of an older question that I dug up for this new blog experience of mine.

"I'm pretty open with my wife. I would like for her to explore a bit more. What was it that first made you open to the idea, and whose idea was it? Did your husband 'pressure' you, or was it something like a dare, or are you the type who loves the exposure and the thrill?" 

The whole experience for me began a long time ago, as a bit of a dare. I have always enjoyed being in front of the camera, and even dabbled with some legitimate modelling. So for my husband to want to take a few more risqué pics wasn’t such a big deal. The idea then becomes, what to do with the pics? 

I have always been comfortable with the idea of exhibitionism. While I grew up in a very traditional Catholic family, I was one of those girls who quickly discovered the power behind the school uniform and hemlines. So testing certain limits has been part of my path in life. I've always said life is too short for hang ups, and I tend to enjoy the daring part of it.

As digital cameras made it so much more easy to post, we tried a very tame amateur site first. I had already posed a number of times for my husband's own pleasure - and he had a few of those boudior-type photos enlarged and framed. I would ask him to keep them kind of private when we had some friends over. Once, a girlfriend saw them and commented on how they were sexy and confessed she wished her husband would have the same kind of 'lust' for her.

I was telling my husband about it and as the conversation went on, I admitted that most women have their doubts about their sexual attraction as they get older and get deeper into monogamous relationships. We do wonder if other men have certain thoughts about us. A couple of drinks later, a playful dare and a lot of encouragement from my husband, we were logging on to that amateur site and uploading the first pictures.

I did the no face showing thing, and we got some great comments back. Then we pushed it a little further by showing my face, etc. I have to admit that I got very "addicted" to signing on each day to see what people had to say and what e-mails I would get. I believe we all have a bit of vanity in us, and whether we're really open about it, or very private with our personal insecurities, and for me it was nice to know that there were men out there that were turned on by my pictures.

Eventually someone e-mailed me about doing my own thing, so we went that route and haven’t looked back since. My husband has never “pressured” me to do it. I enjoy doing it and when I no longer enjoy doing it, we’ll stop. The only “pressure” I ever feel is to keep up with regular photo sessions and trying to come up with new and exciting/interesting ideas. I try to encourage the guys that connect with me to share their ideas and desires, so in a way I keep their interest up too.

So really, I love it and hate it at the same time. My career and future employment would be in such jeopardy if anyone knew the whole truth. That kind of puts a little stress into for me, but I love the freedom of being a little exhibitionist. It’s also really good for the ego too…and I love getting to know some of you guys online too. 

Andee
xoxo

Do they know?

Hey there … sorry for not having something for you to read early today. I’ve been moved to an early shift for a while now, so I haven’t had a bunch of time to be playful online. Not only that, but |I’m also desperate to get a new photo set on my website too. Maybe Santa will bring me an extra day in the week! 

This is a question that seems to come up quite a bit when I am chatting with my new friends online - and even a few in my real life that happen to know I lead this whole ‘secret’ existence away from the somewhat shy and reserved me. (No laughing) But I have spent a long time given this whole idea a lot of thought … about 9 years now … wow. Crazy how the road turns right in front of you some days.  

If your close family & friends knew about your sexual experiences or fantasies, how do you think they would react?  

I’m sure they would be thoroughly shocked and appalled … to a certain degree. My close friends have been a big factor in the pursuit of my sexual experiences. However, I do have other friends that know about my sexual fantasies (one of which was the person who I really opened up to about my bi-curious side and still have the occasional fantasy about), and some that think I’m the sweetest, most innocent girl-next-door in town and would fall over if they knew the truth. 

I once told my mother about some of the experiences my husband and I have explored. Mostly about our trips to swing clubs. My husband and I do not consider ourselves swingers by any means. The atmosphere at these clubs is amazing, the sexual freedom and just the opportunity to be free and not have a bunch of drunken trolls hitting on me or groping, etc. is amazing. I highly recommend that all couples who want to supercharge their love life, or even connect on a refreshing sexual level, find out about these clubs and go to a dance. But from my mother‘s perspective, well…it was the last time she was ever overly inquisitive about my personal life. LOL  

My family knows about the website that I participate in. They don’t know much about the true content, or any of that aspect. They know that I am my own person and not to question my decisions too much. I’m well into my 30s and I don’t need their permission to be, and explore, who I am. I simply tell them enough to protect them so that if any unscrupulous person wants to spread gossip; they will know the truth from me. Which, sadly, happened when a very jealous and small-minded cousin of mine felt it was her moral right to inform the family of what a "slut" I had become. 

I could be an alcoholic or drug addict and "have a problem." But to be sexually-free and willing to explore, share and be bi-sexual, well, now I become a deviant in the public eye. This is not something socially accepted … feeling sheer sexual pleasure … while drinking my future away or burning brain cells on pot is chalked up to a need for "intervention." Bizarre how sex can be such a taboo. Doesn’t make much sense to me, but that is the way our culture is - drink, toke, shoot - just don’t cum. 

My husband’s very staid, uptight British parents would have coronaries … without question. His brothers would simply stare at me and say, "Cool…" 

But, could I ever discuss my sexual experiences with my immediate family? I’m not sure they are ready to hear that their baby girl likes girls too. I’m not sure they could wrap their minds around the mental picture of me going down on a particular special friend or my husband and I playing in a group sex setting … I do know my sister does not share the same curiosities as I do, and my brother already thinks there is a special seat in Hell with my name on it.

To them, the extent of what I do is exhibitionism … pictures, Internet, etc. Some realities are best kept for those who share them with you … and mine is a big one that way. I’m not even close to be ready to officially "come out" about my own sexuality and I can’t say I ever will be ready.

But, in the heat of that kind of passion, who cares. I’m feeling totally awesome, orgasmic, horny, etc. I’m seeing what it does for my husband (and definitely feeling continually what it does for him long after the experience), and our friends share that in their own marriage too. 

So for me, years from now I will be able look back and never have to say, "We should have …." 

Of course, maybe sometime I will blog about what the guy sitting next to me on the train must thing as I am sure he keeps peeking at the screen of my laptop ;-) 

Andee
xoxo