Trying Not To Look Too Slutty

It has been a while since I dug into my collection of questions from people I have encountered on here and some of the other online avenues of my life; and with the sun starting to actually melt the frozen tundra that is my neighbourhood I thought it would be a good time to put some specific answers out there.

This one came from one of my Twitter followers a few weeks ago and has kind of sat in my mind – and archive – for a bit.

When you get dressed up, do you pay attention to whether you look 'too slutty'?

Outside of the fun that happens with me online, there are kind of two realities at work for me as to why this isn’t really an issue: my personal struggle with fashion and my offline environment not being truly conducive to being that way.

I have said before that a tremendous amount of my personal style belongs to the fashion sense of my husband. He is a very unique man who could spend hours – and hundreds of dollars – taking me shopping. Almost all the outfits you see when I post pics on my blog and Twitter are the result of him taking the time to pick something out for me (with the exception of some lingerie and boots, which I have been ‘spoiled’ in receiving from a couple male friends). Without that guidance, I would easily opt for the most comfortable and practical style … and certainly not have the ability to tease, flirt and torment as much as I do!

Some of the women I work with, quite literally, ask if they can take him shopping with them after they discover that a certain outfit was something he picked out, etc.

In those moments when I feel like pushing the envelope a little, my decisions are completely based on being a distraction – but not so much that it would impact my professional reputation. I aim for the “sexy” most of all.

Secondary to that, my day-to-day life is rooted in a very conservative work environment. I occasionally push the limits a little with some shorter hems and by wearing my friends’ lingerie underneath, but for the most part I can’t get away with too much. Heck, we even have a policy for heel height – which rules out all those impossible sky-high stilettos you guys love on us.

And, my day-to-day-not-at-work life is rooted in playing taxi driver to a couple of exceptionally busy young men. I’m sure I could get away with being a little sexier in my outfits for those nights when I’m just a spectator to their activities – and likely not get any complaints from the Dads in attendance – but it’s not always practical to be wearing a miniskirt and heels to a hockey game.

But, having said that, every now and then, the opportunity arises for me to go out on a hot date with my husband and not dress so “Momish.” Again, I get an awful lot of advice and requests from him … and occasionally I will relent and slip into something just so we can cut the night short and get home early (if you know what I mean).

Even then, my husband’s fashion sense isn’t about trying to make me look “slutty” as much as it is about trying to help me feel confident, stylish and sexy.

In all honesty, the only times I have ever felt close to ‘slutty’ are a couple of occasions when we went to a lifestyle club – but my initial concerns over my own outfit were soon dispelled by what I saw other women almost wearing. And in that kind of setting, their sluttier seems to be the better!

I think there is a need to understand what “too slutty” can mean. With some people, they think that a woman should stop wearing certain styles when they reach a certain age. But others think that when a woman reaches a certain age, she should dress how she wants because she has the confidence in her sexuality to let all those societal conventions disappear.

I think there is a difference between what may be acceptable in our society and what might be a bit much, but at the end of the day, if a woman has the confidence to carry her sense of style off, then who are we to pass judgment?

Andee     xoxo 

Too Old For What?!

First bit of advice: never take any article written that uses an unnamed “corporate spokesperson” as its primary source to be a very credible piece.

I said to my husband this morning, as I sipped on my coffee and scanned a few bits and pieces online before work that I felt a rant coming on over something published on Yahoo. OK, second piece of advice: never take anything published as “news” on Yahoo as credible. They make those bitter and self-indulgent Carrie Bradshaw wannabes at Cosmo look like they stand a chance at a Pulitzer for investigative journalism.

The article which raised my ire was entitled “You’re Too Old To Wear That.” Another fluffy piece that suggests women must adhere to specific style standards as they climb the chronological ladder. And the primary “expert” was someone from a company that specializes in anti-aging skin care.

Apparently, a study conducted by said “skin-care company” found one third of the 2,000 women they polled (all of whom were over 45) worried that some items in their wardrobe were age-inappropriate, and 80 per cent felt they “needed to abandon 'younger' styles as they grew older.”

“We think middle aged is supposed to be later, but women are saying that in the early 40s a lot of things need to be toned down,” the unnamed corporate source said.

Now, before you think the top of my head is going to blow off, there are some things that I do agree should be retired. Anything that can be mistaken for a sequined napkin being passed off as a miniskirt might be best saved for those “special club nights” and not the office. And I know you guys will all be disagreeing with me, saying a miniskirt is the perfect choice for work, but a lot of offices have these things called “policies” and they’re usually written by stuffy women with self-esteem and feminism issues who subscribe to articles such as this as “workplace attire gospel.”

If there is anything superficial that I get compliments on, it is my legs – and I am proud of the fact that I have the kind which will serve as pleasant distractions for many of you guys. Forgive my moment of vanity, but damn it, I enjoy the attention … particularly “at my age.”

Believe it or not, there are quite a few of us that are perfectly comfortable with our ability to provide a visual distraction. Looking sexy – and seeing that others are noticing you looking sexy – helps us feel sexy, which in turn fuels a lot of what goes on in our imaginations. It’s also a magnificent method of dealing with work-related stress.

Maybe that’s just because I love to flirt.

And, I am intelligent enough to match wits with the best, so this isn’t a habit of compensation or leverage to “get ahead” in a “man’s world.” It’s more in tune with having reached an age where my appreciation for playing the part has greater depth; and the fact that I couldn’t really care less what the majority of my female peers have to say about the length of my skirt or the height of my heels.

The disappointing aspect of articles like these – beyond being “sponsored” by corporations that market anti-aging products to women – is that they add to the societal confines already placed on women. The messages say “you’re too old to wear anything above the knee” and “you’re too old for that colour of lipstick.”

Women should be celebrating their confidence as they “get older.” I am in a much more comfortable place at 38 than I was at 28, and at 18. And as such, I get to enjoy the benefits of that confidence even more. To sit back and think that in three years I need to hide my miniskirts and start shopping for sensible shoes is ridiculous.

In fact, in three years I hope everyone around me will be staring in disbelief with “Damn she looks hot for her age.”

But even if they don’t, I won’t care. I’m not defined by silly notions concocted by the marketing departments and “corporate spokespeople” at companies which sell anti-aging products.

THE OTHER SUGGESTED SILLINESS

• knee-high boots should be retired by age 45
• tattoos start to look bad by the mid-50s
• ditch high heels by the time you are 59
• hair braids only in your 20s
• pants that say "pink," or anything, for that matter, on the butt
• stop wearing light, short, flimsy dresses as the upper thighs...change...with age  

Andee     xoxo

An Authentic Brunette's Random Thoughts

For me this one is a bit of a personal debate as I ponder what will come next for my hairstyle ... although I have never thought of going blonde ... I found this little interesting argument online at a "mail order bride" site (don't ask).

"Since time immemorial, poets, writers, journalists, social scientists, talk show hosts, you name them, have struggled and fought to answer the question that burns in men's minds: Which shade of woman is preferred and why...blondes or brunettes? Are blondes better lovers? Are brunettes better suited in the boardroom? Can blondes be trusted? Is a brunette a better mate?

Blonde hair is unique in that it typically darkens with age. So a blonde woman gives the impression of being younger, more able to procreate. Theory has it that men have subconsciously developed an attraction to mate with women who appear younger, thus increasing the chances of having children. In northern climes, where survival of the species is paramount, one school of thought believes blondes developed genetically in order to attract more males and therefore increase the odds of maintaining the species.

Lighter eyes are a more desired trait as interest, such as in a male, is more easily seen in the pupil dilation (the signal of interest) of a blue-eyed women versus those of a dark-eyed one.

As early as the 14th century women were dying their hair lighter in order to look younger and become, they believed, more attractive. This is true in many traditionally dark haired areas of the world, for example Latin America, where a lighter haired and skinned woman is more highly prized than her brunette counterpart...so they say.

However, studies have shown that corporate entities seem to favour brunettes as managers and executives as illustrated by the size of their paycheck over those of blondes. Another study espoused that brunettes are preferred by men as mates and are more trustworthy and loyal. If you want to have fun, go with a blonde. But marry a brunette..."

So ... brunette or blonde ... maybe I might find a good wig for a photo set or two!

Andee     xoxo

My Growing Interest In Lingerie

Over the past couple years I have developed a taste for nice lingerie; partly due to my evolving tastes in what I personally think is sexy, and partly due to the reaction it produces at home, at work and within myself. To say that looking sexy and feeling sexy is not an ego boost would just be misleading. As a woman ages, she needs even more reassurance that she still has the feminine ability to attract men.

And even though we have great sources for lingerie these days – places like Fredericks of Hollywood and Victoria's Secret – I think a lot of women have given up on the “old-fashioned idea” of sexy. It doesn’t help that pop culture has turned overtly slutty into the modern ideal of socially-acceptable sexy, but as long as size 0 models with size 0 IQs continue to flaunt it as fashion, well, we’ll just never get more women into the idea.

Lingerie has been reduced to seemingly only involve matching bras and panties these days. Of course, the traditional two-piece ensemble are an amazing part of any girl’s trousseau, but I can’t help wonder if there are other younger women out there that have a daily interest in sexy lingerie beyond just two pieces. And by that I mean, lingerie for the sake of personal interest, not as stage clothes and photographic wardrobe.

Without question, the modern idea for many lingerie enthusiasts remains steadfast in its connection to naughty Santa's helpers and Valentine's Day attire. But what about discovering the sexiness of wearing lingerie on an every day basis?

Yesterday, one of my newest pieces of lingerie made its debut on my website; and from all accounts so far, was well-received. I know it sure as hell was well-received at home – and I have every intention of seeing exactly how it might work for me at my work.

I think the idea of lingerie for something beyond posing for a camera is finding the balance between "feeling sexy" and "made for sex" ... because there is a very distinct difference. I can wear the feeling sexy lingerie all the time - including when sex is on the agenda, but I'm not sure I can wear the made for sex lingerie under a sexy dress for a day at the office.

In a way, my hobby has been a key determining factor in my desire for sexier underthings. I’m blessed with a husband who recognizes the need to keep my drawers filled with naughty lace things, and have developed a few friends with guys who enjoy seeing me in items they have bought for me as well. Of course, it’s hard not to have fun when those things combine all for my benefit.

Andee     xoxo

A New Twist On My Panty Strategy

Earlier this week on Twitter I made a promise that one of the days I would have a little bit of fun and head to work “commando.” It was something that, once again, came from my brilliant ability to pick the winning side of some bets. I’m still not going to disclose exactly what day that will be, other than to point out that other than today, there are only two work days left. Naturally that will give everyone a bit of time to use their imagination and ponder the prospects … but when you get right down to it, we’re all naked under our clothes!

When I posted that silly little comment on Twitter, one of my followers sent me a question on the subject of crotchless panties, and if they were something that I wore. And since I have very little shame over where ideas come from that I can turn into something for everyone to read, I thought, “hey, I should blog about that!”

The easy answer is to the question is: no.

The long answer is much more intriguing for you, I’m sure. After all, you guys really seem to enjoy the ideas around my panties and the thought that goes into my personal panty strategy. (Just so you know, as I am writing this, I'm wearing a comfortable red pair with a lace waistband.)

I guess, other than for some visual fun, and maybe a photo update or two on my website, I can’t really grasp the purpose in having crotchless panties. From a woman’s perspective, they are not practical for a big part of the reason why we wear panties in the first place. From a style perspective, I’m not sure why I would go to the trouble of trying to convince you guys that I was wearing panties when it is way more entertaining to mess with your minds as you try to figure out if I am actually wearing any. I guess unlike some women, I don’t mind if you want to stare just a little bit longer as I walk by, knowing full well you are looking to see if there are any visible panty lines.

But I will also be honest with you; I invest a great deal of thought into what I slip into most days. Having sexy panties and bras are one of my true vices, and I feel that much sexier when I know that what is under my clothes is something you would enjoy seeing. Now, having said that, don’t assume that I am also one of those women that go around making sure there’s enough visibility hanging out for you to see. No, I prefer that you work it out in your mind, or at least hurt your neck trying to sneak a peek up my skirt or down my top.

Occasionally, if you’ve been good, I might relent just a little and uncross my legs slowly enough to tease, or sit at a precarious angle that does not allow my hem to hide my traditional aura of mystique.

Back to the crotchless idea though … I suppose one of the benefits might be the access they promise. Perhaps they are more useful in the situation when I am wearing a garter belt? I haven’t tried, but let me assure you that, in spite of the sexual heat stockings and garters can bring to the day, they do pose some logistical challenges when nature calls … or when you might want to slip into that certain secret spot and allow for some better access to all the sensitive parts with greater ease. It’s not always the most comfortable situation to have things yanked to the side, if you know what I mean.

Anyway, those are my thoughts. I would love to hear from anyone that has some better insight to offer … because who knows, I might be willing to give them a try too!

Andee     xoxo

Panties | What They Say About Me

I came across this humourous article the other day, written by a man who was writing in response to an article that tried to define men by the kind of underwear they wore. Throughout the piece, he was very tongue-in-cheek about how certain styles of panties defined women because, as we all know, you can’t really define what someone’s personality is by the kind of knickers they have on.

Anyway, I thought it might be kind of fun to keep the theme going this week, as we have spent a couple days already discussing my panties. So, I opened up my panty drawer and had a look to see what different pairs might suggest about me …

Panties vs. Personality

My leopard-print thong

Out of my whole collection of underwear, these are the most recent pair to have joined my collection. I bought them to match a bra that I really wanted to get, and the store didn’t have anything sensible to match. The initial plan was that I needed something sexy that would work for some photo shoots, and yet still be practical enough for daily wear. In addition, my friend Matt had sent me this really awesome garter belt that had leopard print accents – a touch of my wild side on top of my exploring my wild side! It made sense, based on some of the naughty conversations I had already had with my hubby, so my animal instinct leapt at the chance to add them to my collection.

In the end, they are truly my panties for when I am feeling wild: they were the ones I was wearing for my afternoon rendezvous with my Office Guy!

My seamless VS bikinis

Some days I want you to notice my ass in my pants, or that sexy dress. And while you are ogling me from behind, the last thing I want in your mind is the distracting vision of my VPLs. My husband was the one who got me hooked – and hooked up – with the delight of Victoria’s Secrets, and there has been no looking back since. Some of the most comfortable yet sexy panties I have ever owned have translated into me feeling a lot more sexually confident and desirable … and willing to wear some of those sleek outfits and stylish skirts.

Who do you think benefits from that?

My sensible bikinis

Let’s be honest, a woman can’t walk around in her best lingerie every day of the week. And I know as much fantasy as you guys want to put into what we have on – or don’t have on – under our clothes, the truth is we have many days when the sensible side of our personality likes to be satisfied. Mostly in black, these panties do the job underwear is supposed to do … but are not so frighteningly ugly that should there be a need, I would not be embarrassed to reveal them. Every now and them, I might mix up that girl-next-door sensibility with a hint of red or pink or purple. A little colour is always good.

My black lace

Initially these were bought after I was prompted by my hubby for a devilish scheme he had in mind related to my flirtatious antics at work. The crazy games started a while back, when my hubby teased me about how I could drive my friend at work crazy by leaving a pair of panties for him. Yeah, great thought, but in a Bridget Jones moment, I realized that most of my “every day panties” aren’t exactly the trophy most guys might seek. So, with that in mind I found them … and kept them. They rank as one of my most comfortable pairs – and are still ready to play the role of a rear-view mirror prize should my bravery show up.

For me, these still hint at the flirtatious delight I get from those days when opportunity knocks. And like these panties, it shows that I have a sexy side, but still need to know where my comfort zone is.

My tiny t-bar

Every now and then I want to feel, dress and play the role of slut. Now, just to be clear, this does not mean putting on my naughty t-bar and a pair of low-rider jeans a la trailer trash style. No way. These tiny little panties cover just enough so that when I am wearing the drool-worthy club dress, you may just get a little flash of “barely there.”

I’m not much of a thong girl, so these are definitely the special-occasion panties – meant to come off within a couple hours of going on. These are usually accessorized with a pair of killer heels, also meant for those special occasions when they might point towards the ceiling as opposed to the floor!

Of course, the challenge for the men in my life is trying to determine just which mood they might catch me in.

I’m a lucky girl because some of them just keep adding to the selection, which keeps me feeling adventurous and sexy!

Andee     xoxo

Panties | So You Wanna Have A Peek

A couple weeks ago I blogged a little about panties, and whether or not I made certain selections just for those times when I expected sex to be on the agenda. And one of my most popular blog posts has been about my particular panty strategy. It seems that a lot you like to get into my panties.

And there's probably a couple of you that I would like to get into my panties!

The truth is, I am kind of flattered. These days I pay more attention to what I wear, because there is something to be said for feel using sexy and looking sexy. I think I have also reached a stage in my life where my style is changing as I look to enhance my assets and squash the workplace boredom.

With all that talk about my underwear choices this was kind of a fun list to come up with, based on a question I was asked a while back about flashing my knickers in public.

So, where are the best places to give you guys a naughty peek? Here are  

Six Sexy Spots You May Have Seen My Panties:

1. At work

There are two kinds of office flashes: the ones where I know you are looking, and the ones when you steal a peek unbeknownst to me. The latter tends to occur during those moments when I might need to bend down and you try to grab a quick look from behind. Surprise, surprise, I know you guys do that. What won't be surprising is for you to see me doing the trailer trash t-bar. You should know by now that I'm much more of a bikini girl ... and I can't stand it when you see those women who must be flossing. Not sexy.

The intentional peeks are much more fun and these days, by far, my favourite. These are the moments when you might see me sitting very strategically in the cafeteria, the hem of my dress carefully adjusted to the right length across my thighs as I cross and uncross my legs. You might even think that I have forgotten I am wearing a skirt or dress. But I know you are looking, because when I am in the mood to tease you this way, every move is carefully planned. Of course, this is usually targeted towards a select few.

2. Behind the wheel

Another fun way to be a little playful. Pull up beside me and you might notice the hem of my skirt or dress pulled right up. Have to be a bit careful with this one though, you don't want those guys driving right off the road! There has also been a few times when, as a passenger, I have tormented my date just a little by pulling up what I am wearing and seeing how long he can a) keep his eyes on the road, and b) hold off from touching me in all the right places.

3. On the the train

A so-so one with me, mostly because the overwhelming majority of the men I encounter on the train tend to be really obnoxious perverts. I'm not all that turned on by their constant attempts to sneak a peek. You know what, buster? We're not dumb. And you're way too obvious to deserve a tease.

However, there is the odd occasion where I might intentionally sit in a particular way so that one of my handsome targets can enjoy a little panty peekaboo. I love to flirt and holding his attention becomes a very intriguing and subtle game.

4. On a date

Probably should rank a lot higher, but the majority of my dates these days are with the man who gets to see my panties pretty much anytime he wants ... and has purchased a huge selection of items in my "Just for Sex" clothing collection.

Of course, what has become a lot more fun with this particular panty flash is to show them off while not actually wearing them! Easily done by taking a moment to slip into the bathroom, remove them and then return to my date. At this point, I slip them into his pocket; or even better, into his hand while they are still warm and moist from being on me.

5. At a party

The party panty flash is basically the same as above ... although there may be an occasion or two in my past that involved alcohol and more than just one guy getting to enjoy my underpants. Maybe.

What is different from the date night knicker experience, the party panty flash is more often than not employed as a tactic to leave the party. Date nights are designed to build anticipation, make him work harder as reaching into my sexual mind or a reward for getting me horny with his charm.

6. On the dance floor

In all honesty, the last time I flashed my panties on the dance floor came courtesy of a naughty girlfriend, who lifted my skirt to flash a group of guys who were watching us from the sidelines.

Despite me wearing some brand new sex-worthy panties, the cute one never did email me ... hmm ... must have noticed the wedding ring on my finger.

Andee     xoxo

How I Became Addicted To Your Fetish

Is it something you are growing tired of hearing about?

As you know, over the past couple months I have acquired a whole new appreciation for the very "old-fashioned" fashion of stockings and garters. I understand that when it comes to edgy style, this idea may not rank quite that high, but I am fascinated by how much something relatively not-so-cutting-edge can send men into a drooling tizzy.

I have thought, perhaps, a super-short skirt would be the thing. Or sky-high stilettos. And I'm sure those are, but when it comes to the very real workplace – you know, that crazy concept that actually pays the bills – neither of those are options for me. I don't work in fashion, nor anywhere with a brass pole. My reality is a multicultural, conservative, policy-driven environment that frowns upon overt sexuality.

And truth be told, my real-life bravery isn't even on the same map as what you enjoy here.

The amazing attention that has been bestowed on me during the times I have worn them is something I gobble up with gusto. I wholeheartedly admit that it has been an marvelous boost for my ego. My online friend Matt is mostly to blame for it all. He has been a huge supporter of mine for a long time and he is a big fan of stockings and garters. After I had taken a few photo sets with the stockings and garters Matt sent to me as a gift, my husband said "It would really be a shame if you only wore his gifts in photo updates."

From there, this part of my adventure opened up. And I suspect some might think this is no big deal, but for this slightly shy science geek, stepping out of any part of my comfort zone is an experience.

One morning, I woke up before my husband, walked into the bathroom and proceeded to get ready for my day at work. Like I often do, I had set out my outfit for the day, so that I wouldn't need to disturb him while he slept. I found a little note from him stuck inside the dress I was planning to wear, along with the stockings and garterbelt. The whole thing was worth it the moment my husband walked into the kitchen to say goodbye to me before I left for the day.

I know my husband loves me, and we have an awful lot of fun together both in and out of the bedroom, but there is nothing that can mask true lustful surprise on a man's face. It's a look that goes right to my heart and knees ... and ego. After over 20 years of being together, there aren't many times left when I can see that sincere expression of delighted shock and desire. It was like watching a kid at Christmas.

Later in the day, when I revealed my fashion leap to my Office Guy the first time, his reaction was equally incredible. To stand just a few feet away from him and do the seductive hiking up of my hem, to see his eyes light up and just stare in amazement was an amazing turn-on for me. Then to allow him to touch and fondle ... still a prominent masturbation memory.

I have never really been a big fan of hosiery. I don't like pantyhose and will muddle through a day with tights only because I have a great outfit and killer boots that require the wearing of them ... not to mention Canadian weather. But mostly, whenever possible, I have avoided the idea.

When I launched my website, I started to learn that there were a number of different fetishes that guys had; hosiery being one. Up until a couple months ago, outside of my photo sessions, I had only worn stockings on my wedding day. And even that day resulted with a round of sex.

Hosiery certainly accents a woman's legs, and the smoothness of the nylon hides any slight imperfections; leaving you with a visual distraction. However, it has taken me a while to begin to understand what it is you guys really do like about a somewhat older fashion statement like stockings and garterbelts.

Stockings, more so than pantyhose, reveal a slightly different side of a woman. These days when they are less common, it suggests she has an adventurous spirit – because let's be honest, garters and stockings are certainly not the battle-worthy undergarments that our grandmothers wore. The hint of the lace top, the peek of uncovered thigh, and the satiny band of garter that holds the stockings in place stir incredible fantasies in men, or so I'm told.

I also think that stockings and garterbelts are what take a woman from the practicality of "office attire" that pantyhose suggest to a mature playfulness. The look says she's no longer going to put on that plaid mini-kilt and pretend she is still in Catholic school, but rather she will slip on that power suit and do naughty, naughty things on the boardroom table.

Stockings are no longer an expected part of a woman's normal attire, so they seem to hold a flirtatious and salacious surprise when she does slip them on. Stockings are erotic and sensual, pantyhose are everyday.

Therapist and relationship expert Louise van der Velde tells us, "Stockings are sexy because they show a bit of flesh but not everything. I think it’s an association thing with men – they’re used to seeing ­stockings on sexy models in magazines so they trigger a response in the male mind.”

“Men find it sexier when you leave something to the imagination,” explains Joy Davidson, PhD, Manhattan-based sex therapist, author of Fearless Sex and creator of the Joy Spot videos (www.joydavidson.com). Give him a sneak peek at what you’ve got going on under those clothes by feigning an “oopsie” moment, she also suggests.

For me, as someone who has never really embraced the idea of pantyhose as something that are comfortable – and necessary – turning to this slightly outdated style has allowed me to explore a more dressy look and tease the hell out of the men in my life.

That's worth it all!

Andee     xoxo

Life | Having It All

I recent read an article that speculated on the whole premise of Sex In The City, and the lead character's pursuit of "having it all." To Carrie Bradshaw that meant a a great relationship, stable and happy kids, a rock-star career, a home to be proud of and a network of friends to rely on.

But is that truly the pursuit of every woman? And do we have less if our standards aren't equal?

The show was meant to be nothing more than entertainment, but unfortunately like many other popular messages in our society, placed unrealistic desires in a lot of viewers. We already have a whole generation of new workers that expect six-digit paycheques for 20-hour work weeks and cocktails at Remi's every night. Our economic society is suffering terribly because of the massive personal debt people have put themselves in with their insatiable greed. And our pop culture icons reinforce the mentality that if you don't possess all the toys and glamour, you are less than successful.

Unfortunately, it's an epidemic with the generation that has been handed everything and been told from the get-go that they are "special" and "deserve" things. Working hard is for the suckers that haven't found the shortcuts. It's a generation truly effed-up by the influence of popular television.

It might be the kind of lifestyle a fictional relationship writer can have on a television program, but having been married to someone who toiled in the media for years - much like the lead character - I can attest there is no magnificent Manhattan apartment at the end of a journalist's paycheque. A fridge box in Central Park is closer to the truth...and cocktail wienies for dinner because you can't afford the whole hot dog ... never mind the cocktail.

It's the nonsense that gives rise to the "role model" status assigned to women like Angelina Jolie, whose biggest talent is wading through international adoption papers while bewitching married actors on her movie sets. Or Facebook's Sheryl Sandberg, who most recently claimed that she left the office every day at 5:30 ... failing to mention how late the lackeys had to stay behind to complete the bulk of the work.

What about a job that matters? What about a life filled with happiness instead of the latest designer dresses and matching killer heels?

I don't live in a $1 million dollar home. Nor do I have designer kids or sip apple martinis after work on Tuesdays. But I do have a realist grasp on having it all. While I don't include them in my blog very often - because this isn't about them - I have great kids. I'm happy with my exceptional normal suburban life, where almost all of our friends have no clue as to what goes on in my private life.

And I have a husband that doesn't just accept my desire for this adventure, but is a willing participant and ardent supporter. And every now and then, I'm blessed when he treats me to a drool-worthy new dress and sexy shoes.

But seriously, when it comes to having it all, it's much better to base that on a level of happiness as opposed to the chrome numbers on the brand plate of an automobile in the driveway.

Andee     xoxo

Spiked | My Collection of Bedroom Heels

Last week I mentioned the idea how women actually do have panties that only come out off the lingerie drawer when they know sex is likely to happen. I also have no issue with admitting to owning a number of pairs, myself. Come on, if you haven't figured out by now, I love to get laid and those panties are more likely to get worn out than just worn.

I also have panties that I will wear when I have a sneaking suspicion that they may get noticed, but sex may not be on the immediate agenda ... such as those naughty little flashes to men who may not get the immediate opportunity to get their hands on them.

So it isn't that much of a stretch to accept that I also have certain shoes and boots that never come out in public - except maybe on my website.

As I mentioned just a couple days ago, I know that men tend to be visual creatures. And what the see can have a very positive effect on their libido. One of the fetishes that my husband has is a love of high heels and boots on me. In a way, I am hugely lucky because when it comes to footwear, there is rarely an argument if I want to get some new shoes ... and he also has no issues buying some for me if something catches his eye.

What that has also meant is my collection - while not quite Imelda Marcos worthy - has a substantial variety of heels, boots and somethings I don't know how to describe. Within that collection there are also some pairs that just don't make sense for the kind of work environment I spend my days in. Especially since the offline me does not really have the same brazen sexuality as the online me.

Hot pink vinyl thigh high boots just don't go with scrubs and a lab coat ... trust me.

When I started on my website, one of the first things we did was invest in some stilettos that would be a little more sexy than the normal dressy shoes I would wear to work. The heels are a little higher, which makes walking in them very difficult. Quite honestly, pretty much most of them barely have any wear on the soles. It's hard to scuff them up when they spend most of the time pointing to the ceiling.

Now, as I began to get a lot more comfortable with my sexuality and my adventure began to really take off, my personal comfort with fashion began to relax and open up. The more I stepped out of my shell and felt sexy, the more I began to explore the idea of dressing that way. My husband was a great motivator in all of this - and a tremendous shopper. He truly spoiled me as miniskirts, flirty tops, boots, dresses all began to take over my closet.

And with that came the realization that the right kind of footwear can be a great motivator towards getting laid.

So, these days I own quite a few pairs of heels and boots that I know will make the guys at work pause and look ... and the guy at home make me point them at the ceiling. Well, unless we do it doggy-style. Some heels I have discovered create the perfect angle of my butt and hips.

Here's some more sexy heels for a Happy Hump Day!

Andee     xoxo

Sneak Peek | Do I Have "Sex Only" Panties

Every now and then, I have to look to some of the questions that have come my way in emails, chat and Formspring for some inspiration on my blogs. As I know this week will also be bringing the occasional pervert trying to sneak a peek up my skirt as I ride the train to work, it kind of struck me that this would be an appropriate idea for some naughtiness.

Do you have panties that are only for those “I know I’m having sex” nights?

The easy answer is yes, don't we all?

It's a bit of the Bridget Jones in all of us ... if you have seen the movie, you know there is a scene where she scolds herself for wearing sensible underwear when it becomes obvious that she is about to be in a sexual situation.

My traditional selection of knickers revolves around the very comfortable, and still flattering should anyone get an unscheduled peek at them, bikini-style. This has been my panty of choice since I was a teenager. I've never been a thong girl, and won't even get into a debate about that week each month when it just becomes a whole different purpose down there.

I'm also not the type to flash my t-bar every time I need to squat down at work, but I'm also someone who is fairly conscious of what I wear under my clothes influences how I feel about myself. If I want to feel sexy and confident, I need to have a feeling that I look sexy and confident. And underwear is the foundation on which I build that sentiment.

I am also an exceptionally lucky girl. I have a husband that is very intimate with Victoria and her Secrets, so I also have a drawer full of microfibre options at my fingertips. I will dress for sex, and have no shame in doing so.

As such, there are very specific pairs of panties in my collection that I will slip on, knowing who will be seeing them ... knowing that I will be employing all my feminine charms to coax him into bed. On those occasions I have no problem setting aside my traditional bikini-style preference and will slip on a sexy Brazilian tanga, or a thong. Their time on my body will be short-lived, so I will deal with the slight discomfort of having "butt floss."

My biggest goal in those moments is to see the look in his eye at the moment when my clothes hit the floor and I am standing there in just a tiny wisp of fabric between my moist desire and his throbbing passion.

So don't be fooled. Every pair of panties are a carefully planned selection.

Andee     xoxo 

All Dressed Up

February turned out to be one of those months where hibernation just wasn't possible. Normally we hide indoors because here in Canada February is typically when the temperature drops to a miserable level and there's just nothing sexy about it.

But this year things have been much different thanks to some bizarre weather. It's actually turned out to be a very socially busy month, with no signs of stopping as we hit the last weekend! Tonight my husband is taking me to an event in the city that we always enjoy - especially because it is strictly about sex. Sexapolooza is a consumer trade show featuring pretty much all things related to getting busy, and a wide variety of kinks. It's usually an expensive night for me ...

Then tomorrow we are attending a party for a friend's birthday - once again, a chance to get out and let loose. So, it was a little timely that an online friend asked me this a while ago ... and now I get to share my answer.

When you go to a party, would you rather show up accidentally under-dressed or overdressed?

I have to say, I would rather be caught overdressed for any event - party or otherwise. And that's a stretch, because I also believe that you can't really be overdressed for anything if you have a sense of style and the confidence to carry it off.

Obviously there will always be those people who will awkwardly point out the obvious: "What are you all dressed up for?" To which I find a good reply is: "After the party, my husband is taking me to meet some well-endowed stud at a ritzy hotel for a night of ..."

You get the idea.

Most social situations will allow for someone who has put forth a bigger effort in their appearance. I'm not about to slip on my sexiest LBD to head out for a night of drinks and conversation at the neighbours, but I would definitely not hit the fundraiser gala scene in my work scrubs and no make-up.

As a woman, dressing up is something deeply attached to our childhood and our innocent fantasies. It's why we played "dress up" as little girls. Now as adults we get to slip on that gorgeous dress and be a "princess" for a night. Not in attitude, just to be the woman that turns heads when she walks into the room.

Plus there is the "adult" side of it too. We get to, maybe, wear those really sexy panties and knock-out heels for a night; whisper into our date's ear about whether or not the panties will stay on until we get home, or if he can hold on to them for us. And don't kid yourself, every woman who has ever slipped on a sexy dress wants to catch a man other than her date checking her out ... for me, that is a huge reward for the night because it touches me both in an self-esteem building way knowing I can still attract a man's attention, and it hits me right between my legs because I also like to know that maybe he is thinking something naughty too.

Of course sometimes where I live, over-dressed is a necessity - such as parkas, mukluks and mittens. But that might just be a stereotype of how cold Canada gets in the winter.

In reality, I'm not the kind of person who gets caught in the idea of being "overdressed" too often. In my real life, I'm actually a very casual person ... much to my husband's frustration. He's the kind of man who has a sense of fashion and wishes I would push the limits a bit every now and then.

Although, it has been working for me at work lately ...

Andee     xoxo

Miniskirts | Should There Be An Age Limit

Once again, I had these brilliant ideas as to what I was going to write. Given how the past week was for me, I had a lot of material I could share …

Then I saw this article online about “how old is too old to wear a miniskirt.” I had to stop and immediately change direction – especially since I am the one who brings you Miniskirt Mondays every week. As you can see in a number of my postings to start the week, I have no issue in slipping on something that will enhance the look of my legs, boost my ego and generally serve its purpose as an office distraction.

And let’s be honest here, anytime I see something that might suggest an attack on your favourite fashion piece, I pay close attention.

The article wasn’t being especially critical. Written by a fashion blogger, she was looking more at the idea of whether or not personal style should change as a woman ages. She was pondering, as she celebrated another birthday, as to whether or not it was becoming time to “look her age” and if it was time to hang up the mini.

That kind of bugs me because I think there is nothing wrong with a woman wearing a short skirt if she has the means and confidence to pull it off. And, as insensitive as it is, I do stress the “the means.” Sorry, but there is some judgemental feelings within me when it comes to hems, and I have seen some women that just shouldn’t challenge convention. Kudos to them for bravery though.

Like this particular writer, I too wonder about my fashion choices as I get older. I fully accept that I am no longer 20-years-old…and I am the mother of two children. I try hard not to cause them any embarrassment, but I refuse to go quietly and frock myself in pastel polyester and sensible shoes.

Some things have been relegated to my “tickle trunk;” only to see the light of day when I need something to pose in for all the naughty photos I post on my website. The go-go boots and schoolgirl skirts, which at one time would have been great for clubbing, may spend a bit of time collecting dust. Other trends just never connected with me – belly shirts, uggs or facial piercings.

In a way, I’m lucky as a mother: I don’t have girls. For me, one of the bigger issues in our society is how young girls – even preteens – are presenting themselves in a much more mature sense of fashion than they should. Part of it is pop culture influence, and part of it is compliant parents that have no issue carting these young ladies into clothing stores where the purchase receipt is wider than the skirt is long.

I think the sexualization of young women – those under the age of consent is a more significant issue than a middle aged woman with incredible legs and the confidence to show them off.

Andee     xoxo

Showing Some Support...And a Lot of Leg!

I had different blogging plans this morning...so those may appear later this evening, after work. But as I was having my morning coffee, a Twitter friend of mine sent me a note in response to my Thigh High Thursday post today. Over in the U.K., today is National Stockings Day, where women are encouraged to wear stockings to show support for cancer awareness.

Now, as someone who has been personally touched by cancer I could not resist the opportunity to lend a little peek to the cause. Unfortunately, I can't actually participate in the event today as my shift is not suited for something so sexy...sitting in a lab looking like an astronaut just won't get the heart pumping for most of you guys. (Although I am sure it is a fetish somewhere)

Andee     xoxo

Andee's Five Reasons To Wear A Mini

Hopefully you guys have been enjoying my ongoing photo series Miniskirt Mondays. I plan on keeping it going as long as I have the photos - and legs - to keep you interested.

The miniskirt rose to popularity in the 1960s, and is supposed to be a representation of our liberation from the stereotypes that exist. Now, since this is some 50 years later, I'm not one to cling to stereotypes, but I will agree that the mini is an excellent fashion statement that is directly tied to our sexual freedom ... and for some of us, a key strategy when exploring our sexual freedom.

So as we were picking a few of the photos for the next several updates, my husband suggested I write something about why I personally choose to wear them.

Now, keep in mind that some of what you see in my photos will never be seen at the office, the grocery store or hockey arena. And, those that do see the light of day in my more “public” life may not clock in as short as some of those micro-minis some younger women are getting away with.

Andee's Top 5 Reasons To Wear A Mini

1. Fashion
Probably the most logical idea of the bunch, wearing a miniskirt is very much n vogue these days. A miniskirt has almost timeless allure and can be worn in almost any situation - from the office to the beach. So, in keeping with modern fashion, it is appropriate for a number of different occasions. On top of that, wearing the right style can be an exceptionally flattering line for the curves of a woman’s body. Being shorter than most supermodels, I find that long skirts make me appear even shorter than I am, which is not even remotely flattering. The trick is to ensure the skirt is properly complemented by the right shoes … or boots.

2. Attention
At the risk of coming across vain, I love the looks and compliments. To catch a  man stealing a peek might offend some women, but it drives me crazy in a very good way. You know, there comes a time in a woman’s life when she has to come to terms with the fact she is no longer 18. To realize that, after childbirth and age have started to enforce their will, you can still turn the heads of a man that is not your husband is an incredible emotional thrill. Even though we may be married and happy, we need to know that we still have some sexuality left in us. I’m also lucky that I have a partner who is extremely encouraging in me pursuing this. And with that encouragement and the confidence it gives me as a woman … well … a happy and horny wife puts a smile on the husband’s face and a twitch in his trousers.

3. Confidence
Is it cliché for me to say, I wish I knew then what I knew now? If I knew what I know now when I was young and had a killer body, my wardrobe would have been remarkably different. That said, experience in life is what brings out the confidence in a person. Now that I am in my sexual prime, I enjoy the experience of wearing a mini - and am thankful I have the legs to work it. And with the attention, comes the confidence. And with the confidence comes the power! A miniskirt pair with the right footwear allows me to carry myself with that more obvious sense of authority and being in control - an even better position to be in when it comes time for those employee performance reviews!

4. Economics
I’m not suggesting that less fabric in a miniskirt translate to less money spent on clothing, but I am saying that money does come into play. Here’s my thinking on that: I have a great deal invested in my underwear; some of which I have bought, some of which my husband and some of which was sent to me by you guys. If I hid all that sexiness under long skirts, where no guy ever had the chance of seeing a peek of those naughty knickers, it would be an economic disaster.

And in case you are wondering: some days those little peeks at our panties is totally intentional on our behalf. Seriously. I don't spend $35 on a wisp of pink lace just for my own pleasure.

5. Opportunity
Finally, let’s not kid ourselves here … a miniskirt simply provides even easier access when certain opportunities present themselves. And, although I could go on with all the reasons why those opportunities are worth jumping on, or about the thrill of going commando and knowing that there is only a few inches of fabric between my bare pussy and a guy seeing all the business, let’s just leave it with this: at this point in my life and sexual adventure, I am not willing to let any opportunity pass me by!

While I could have checked the standards of choice with my household miniskirt lover, I sought the insight of someone who has spent a great deal of time getting to know me online, my friend Matt. He cares about you guys too, because he has been kind enough to send me sexy items to wear …including those stockings that I put to great use for one of my naughty Twitter moments and photo updates.

This is what Matt says about a woman in a mini: As a leg man, he loves to see a sexy pair of legs, that hint of exposed thigh and how a nicely-fitting miniskirt accents a woman’s butt.

So, who am I to argue with you guys?

Andee     xoxo