TMI Tuesday | Navigating Sex

As much as I might like to consider myself in the midst of a sexual adventure, sometimes it can be a very delicate balance between desire and disaster. But, regardless of what you might consider an "adventure," we have all found ourselves in those situations where feelings can be complicated and our sexual connections just not ... connecting.

Some interesting questions for this week's TMI Tuesday.

Answer yes or no:

• I regret my first kiss
• I miss my first love
• I married my first love
• I loved someone that didn’t love me

Hmm … don’t know if I would say any of these are extremely accurate, with the exception of marriage. I believe I have married my true love, but I also believe that we are capable of loving on many different levels.

My first kiss was pretty much what every young teen girl goes through, with a boy who just happened to be the boy of the moment. I've kissed quite a few since then, and a few girls along the way too!

I certainly don't miss my first "love" ... but wish I knew better at the time and would have been a bit more cautious about giving my heart away.

Do you consider yourself monogamous or polyamorous or some other category which you will explain or define for us now?
Mostly monogamous. We have dabbled in the swinger’s lifestyle and managed to explore sexually with other people – but we have never taken it beyond some hot, steamy moments and oral sex. Are these the opening doors of things still to come? I can’t say because, although my interest in continuing to explore is extremely high, it can be complicated when you are a finicky as me. However, we definitely don’t qualify for the polyamory category and can’t admit that we are active swingers. I suppose the category that would define us best is “sexual adventurers.” We love to explore, we love to test the limits, but at the same time we are wimpy and love the sense of security of being married and mostly monogamous.

Your partner is in the mood for sex and you are tired – what do you do?
   a) Start snoring. There is no way I’m giving it up tonight.
   b) Trade. You give me a massage…and we will see…
   c) That would never happen!
The only answer that really fits is c). But the truth is I am more for negotiations for a rain cheque. I might be tired tonight, but how about we set the alarm for a few minutes earlier in the morning?

Does your partner mind if you masturbate, in bed, while they are there?
I would say, about 50% of the time when I masturbate my husband is right there, watching and sometimes helping. I'm one of those women, as I have said a number of times, that needs a little help achieving orgasm. So, with that reality, our sex life tends to involve a fair bit of manual manipulation.

On the other side, I would love it if he would include me in more of watching him do the same, but that seems to be something he keeps to himself a great deal.

Describe your typical sexual romp:
   a) You are playful and tame
   b) You have occasionally introduced a few things like outfits and toys
   c) You love trying new things and shocking your partner
A bit of b) and a healthy dose of c). We’re beyond the “occasional” part of sex toys and naughty outfits – mostly due to the little naughty hobby we have on the side and the fact that I have a substantial collection of battery-operated marital aids, but I don’t think that our sex romps are always about trying new things. Having said that, I always love new things when sex is involved!

BONUS: What was your best ever masturbation experience? Why was it the best? Describe.
Wow, that is is tough one to answer. There's been some crazy moments for me, but I think one that stands out as one of the best is the first time that I masturbated on webcam. Masturbation tends to be a hugely private thing for me, but in the early days of my sexual adventure I was discovering a lot about the Internet and the kinkiness it can add to your evenings.

It was something that I found very exhilarating and liberating - as I had never done anything like that in front of anyone but my husband. I remember spending most of the evening teasing and tormenting with the guy I was chatting with, and watching him reveal himself to me. I was getting hornier as the night went on, and as my husband was working, it felt even naughtier.

Andee     xoxo

TMI Tuesday | Playing With Myself

So, today marks the start of another new 'journey' for me. I am now officially in my 40th year, which means I have an awful lot of ground to cover in the next 365 days so that I can hit my 40th birthday looking all that much more sexually confident, physically fit and smashingly glamourous.

And, that also means that I may actually have a bit of a renewed ambition when it comes to making certain desires, wants and fantasies come to life. Or at least writing all about them!

And now, on to all that information that you just can't get enough of every TMI Tuesday ...

1. My favorite place to masturbate is _____ ?
Yeah, not as kinky as you might believe, but my favourite place to masturbate is in my own bed. That way, when all is said an done and my heart is done racing from the sexual build-up and release, I love to curl up and fall asleep. Masturbating is an amazing way for me to relax before bedtime - and helps take my mind away from the stresses of the day.

2. Have you ever masturbated in public? What were the circumstances?
Not sure; my answer is a bit of a 'sort of.' I wrote about it before: it was a couple years ago and my husband and I were on our way home from one of those sex trade shows in the city. We were downtown and the traffic was crazy. I had already slipped off my panties back at the convention centre and figured since we were going to be sitting in the car for a bit that I would give my new sex toy a little test drive of it's own. I simply pulled up the hem of my skirt, positioned myself accordingly and let the brand new batteries take me to euphoria of a roadgasm - plus give my hubby and amazing tease and scene.

It was equally erotic as people were walking past on the sidewalks only a couple feet away from our vehicle. I remember that was one amazing orgasm ... the sensation of a new toy mixed with the excitement of being in a crowded space.

3. Do you like mutual masturbation? Why?
Yes and no, but for all really good reasons. I love it because there is something very erotic for me in watching and being there while someone is pleasuring themselves. And sharing that moment with someone has an erotic sense of vulnerability. It's opening yourself up to a very different sexual experience.

No, because it's rare that I can allow myself to wait it out. Mutual moments like that generally end up in full-out sex ... not that full-out sex is a bad thing; it just means an end to the masturbation portion of the evening. There are lots of occasions when masturbation becomes a conclusion for me, as well. I'm one of those women that does need a little extra help to reach orgasm.

4. When was the last time you masturbated?
I'm writing my answers on Monday night as we wait for the Leafs-Bruins hockey game to start ... I masturbated on Monday morning shortly after shooting some new photos for my website - 'cause a girl can get rather turned-on posing in new lingerie that a friend sent for her to wear; all that touching my breasts and playing with my pussy while my husband snaps photos. Yep, I think I might masturbate again tonight.

5. Have you ever masturbated on camera?
Yes ... for both recorded video and on webcam. I still make new recorded videos every now and then for purposes other than just adding a bit of kink to my sex life. I mean, why keep the fun all to myself, and since I have received a few requests along the way from guys who want to watch ...

6. Do you like to watch people masturbate?
Call me kinky, but I love watching another person pleasuring themselves. I have had the wonderful opportunity to watch a couple men do that in front of me in person - and good lord, it's a massive turn-on for me. I would love to have the same opportunity with another woman. I have watched on camera and amateur videos, but not while I was right there just a couple feet away as she brought herself to orgasm. Now that would be yummy ...

BONUS: Have you filmed yourself masturbating? Care to share that film via a link?
Take your pick ... follow the video button and you can find several different videos of me masturbating, and a couple in which someone else does all the work on me!

Andee     xoxo

TMI Tuesday | Sex Detective

Sometimes people can be a bit sneaky under the guise of curiosity. In a way, I'm not much different - but I would hope that pretty much anything could be an open discussion and there wasn't a need to hide.

However, now that I am a parent to a couple of teenage boys, I'm thinking there's probably some investigative techniques in my near future ... and not just on TMI Tuesday!

1) Did you ever find someone else’s stash of sex toys, lubes, etc.?
Other than finding my teenage brother's stash of Playboy magazines in the barn when I was about 12, no. He wasn't a very creative person when it came hiding places, choosing to stick them in an old case that was up on the loft about my father's work bench.

2) Did you ever search someone else’s computer to determine their porn habits? Were you ever the object of such a search?
I'd be lying if I said I hadn't poked around on my husband's computer to see what was going on, but I'm not exceptionally technologically savvy.

3) Did you ever investigate to see if two people were getting it on?
When I was a teenager, my parents adopted two of my teenage cousins and they moved in with us. The older cousin was a bit of a floozy and always had the lights off downstairs when her boyfriend would visit. I would sneak to the top of the stairs and wait for a few minutes before trying to bust them. I actually never did catch them doing anything other than making out - which is probably better for me and not being grossed out. The people you would love to catch or watch are never the ones you do.

4) Did you ever look for naughty pictures on someone else’s phone?
Not unless you count my husband ... and they were of me ...

5) Were you ever involved with an investigation (formal or informal) into whether someone was cheating on his/her lover?
No, although I've been on the receiving end of someone who thought it would be amusing to try to cause some shit in my own marriage. They took it upon themselves to send my husband some emails accusing me of some inappropriate behaviour with a friend. Of course, they had no clue as to what my private life is really like.

Bonus: Do you have a secret online identity so that you can find a secret lover?
Good lord, no. I have a hard enough time keeping up with the 'secret life' I already have going with me as 'Andee' let alone a dating persona.

Andee     xoxo

TMI Tuesday | Show Me Something Sexy

Are you ready for Santa? In just one week, the big guy in the red suit will be sliding down the chimney ... and damn, I hope that naughty list goes up in flames!

This week with TMI Tuesday, we look at just some of the more recent naughty events that may have put me on that other list. But let's be honest, even Santa can appreciate a naughty girl every now and then!

What is the sexiest thing you have done in the past two months?
It’s been a wildly busy two months for my husband and I, so incredible tales of wild, swinging weekends and sexual adventures best saved for graphic romance novels aren’t really at my disposal right now – unless you want to slip inside my overactive imagination. But, that said, sexy doesn’t always have to be something extreme and crazy. Sometimes sexy can simply be a moment spent completely invested in making someone feel special and loved. With that in mind, I would say the sexiest thing I have done in the past two months is invest a good part of a couple days drawn into some very steamy sexting with my husband, followed by some very sweaty sex at unusual hours for a married couple with busy lives and busy children.

Connecting on an emotional level like that, after spending the day wrapped up in a technology-aided sexual whirlwind, can be extremely sexy. If not equally important, in order to keep the flames of passion burning in a relationship.

What is the sexiest thing you have worn in the past 30 days?
Without a doubt, the sexiest thing I have worn in the past month is some incredible lingerie that a friend sent for me to wear. You can see from the attached image, a small peek at the outfit …

For me, the outfit is sexy on a number of levels: first, just the look. When I first saw this lingerie, during an online shopping spree with my friend, I said it was very sexy. It’s not over the top; it’s not “cheesy”. It has a classic look and mood to it. It’s the kind of lingerie that is meant to be worn, not just something for a “stockings and lace” swingers’ party. Along with that, it is the kind of lingerie that I can – and will – wear under a dress just like the one in the photo. Unlike some of the lingerie on my website, this can be practical in a very sexy and flirtatious manner offline!

Secondly, it is sexy because of the kinkiness behind it. This is lingerie that someone other than my husband bought for me to wear. For me, that adds to the excitement … and the desire to slip it on and behave in a very naughty way, even when the camera isn’t pointed at me. Knowing that someone else is enjoying the reality behind that ... uh huh, that is sexy to me.

What is the sexiest thing you have watched in the last 30 days?
Settling into one of my more kinky thoughts, the one thing that I find incredibly sexy is when I get to watch my husband stroke himself. I can’t explain just how much of a turn-on that is for me – to be able to just watch and enjoy. I guess because it allows me to see how he brings himself to an erection and his technique for pleasuring himself. To me, this is incredibly sexy – and made even more so because it’s a somewhat rare treat.

What is the sexiest thing you have heard in the last two weeks?
“Sweetie, I did the vacuuming.”

I dare you to find anything more orgasmic to a woman’s ears than hearing a verbal confirmation of actual housecleaning from their spouse. Talk about instant arousal.

The coup de grace was: “I also emptied the dishwasher.”

Damn, now I’m horny just reminiscing about it all.

What is the sexiest thing you’ve said in the last 24 hours?
Does reading the answers featured above count as “the last 24 hours”?

BONUS: Tell us or show us something sexy.

And there you go, some sexy naughtiness to get us in the mood for some serious seasonal fun!

Andee     xoxo

Fast Friday | Pure Randomness

Hey guys! Hope everyone is getting ready for the festive season! I love the holidays and all the excitement, but I have to admit that as I get older, the hustle and bustle wears me down faster.

And since we’re all running in top gear these days, I thought a quick little blog update might be more in line with the pace of our busy days. So, here’s a quick little something I’m calling my Fast Friday Five … five quick and easy questions that I can’t write a whole entry about, but have made their way to my inbox over the past few months.

Do you have a sexy nickname? How did you get it?
Well, my name for all my online fun is Andee – and maybe not as exciting as something like “Hot Lips” or “Lover Buns” but it is the name associated with all the naughty stuff I do here and on my website. The name came from a childhood friend who struggled to pronounce my real name. She still calls me that today; if she only knew!

What’s your favorite sexual position?
This question is always a huge struggle for me … I hate to pick just one. However, as I need to narrow it down, I love doggy-style the most. There is a lot to be said for having a guy enter me in that way; feeling him slide along all the most sensitive spots inside me … yum! Second to that would be the boring ol’ missionary, but mostly because I love kissing. And kissing while having sex … yowza!

But let’s be honest, anytime I am getting laid, that is the position I like to be in!

Do you prefer ice cubes or hot wax?
I have yet to experiment with hot wax … and while the ice cube experience was delightfully erotic on a very hot summer night, and the sensation of the cool water dribbling down my thighs was kind of cool, having the cock-shaped ice cube inside my pussy was friggin’ cold. I guess I should have tried the newlywed version of just using an ice cube to make my nipples stand out. But apparently the sensation of his hot erection slipping deep into my chilled pussy was amazing.

Do you like rough sex or smooth sex?
Yes …

Ok … each has its specific appeal. Sometimes there is nothing hotter than a very raunchy, tie me to the bed and torture me with sex toys evening, but I also enjoy a passionate, emotionally-driven tender night on occasion. Most of our sex life falls somewhere in the middle of these two extremes, but mixing things up every now and then keeps it all very hot and fresh.

Have you ever cross-dressed?
Um, no ... but even if I did, it’s probably not as kinky for a woman these days to dress up like a man as it is for one of you guys to slip on some of my favourite Fredericks of Hollywood lingerie and stockings and head out for a night on the town.

So there you guys, a few quick and easy answers to hopefully keep you sexually amused on what is surely a crazy Friday for you. It is for me.

Andee     xoxo

30 Random Things For A Friday

Like a few other updates that have happened over the past few days, this one has its roots in a previous blog that I wrote on a different site. I think it’s still kind of fun and covers off a whole whack of “too much information” about me.

I thought this might be something light and fun for a Friday. You have probably seen a few of these “random facts” blogs, so I hope it’s not too boring. If nothing else, if it spurs you to ponder any curious questions about me, please send them my way. I am always looking for new ways to involve you in my blog, and also to write about ideas, topics and interests that appeal to you. Otherwise you are just stuck inside my own head – and that can be a dangerous place to find yourself on the best of days!

1) Single, Taken, or Crushing?
Married, quite happily! But occasionally playful in the right moments!

2) Are you happy with where you are?
Extremely, except for financially, but isn't that the case with most people?

3) When you meet the right person, do you fall fast?
No, I tend to be a bit more coy and cautious.

4) Have you ever had your heart broken?
Yes ... and more than once.

5) Do you believe that there are certain circumstances where cheating is ok?
No, but with good communication and a mutual adventurous spirit, why cheat on your partner when you can explore together! ;-)

6) Would you ever take someone back if they cheated on you?
No. I would struggle to regain the trust and I think that would prevent the relationship from healing.

7) Have you talked about marriage with another person?
Several times ... but I am married after all.

8) Do you want children?
I already have two. Now we’re trying to adopt a dog.

9) How many?
The two I already have. Unless you meant the dog, then we will just stick with the one.

10) Would you consider adoption?
Yes. Especially of the dog.

11) If somebody liked you right now, what do you think is a cool way to let you know?
Be straightforward, talking is always a good thing. As I get older, the more I recognize that “games” can quickly get off track. If you want an adult relationship, start out by being an adult. Save the games for between the sheets when everyone is horny and naked.

12) Do you enjoy playing hard to get?
Am I hard to get? Hmmm ... I really prefer to play getting it hard.

13) Be honest, do you play the "game" when you are dating?
Completely. But most of my dates are with my husband, so it’s very safe to play the “game.” Fun, even. Especially when he is creative with the plans for the night!

14) Do you believe love at first sight exists?
Yes.

15) Are you romantic?
Extremely.

16) Do you believe that you can change someone?
I believe you can ... but more times than not, I have seen it for the worse and not the better.

17) If you could get married anywhere, money not an object where would it be?
In some incredible European castle.

18) Do you have feelings for someone right now?
Yes. Some of them are even good.

19) Have you ever wished you could've had someone but you couldn't?
Yes.

20) Have you ever broken a heart?
Honestly, I don't know.

21) Would you ever fight somebody over your significant other?
You wanna piece of me? But quite honestly, our relationship is such a way that I would rather just hold the camera and watch intently.

22) What would you say about your last ex?
Where's a speeding bus when you need one?

23) Favorite sex position?
Well, seriously ... do I need to pick just one? Anytime I'm getting some is a favourite position. But if I really need to pick just one, I'll say doggy style 'cause it feels so good and deep.

24) What turns you on the most?
The first thing I notice about a man that I have just met would be his hands. Then his smile. On a deeper note, I get turned on by a guy who can make me laugh, smile and appreciates my twisted sense of humour. Finally, if he gets the chance to bed me ... those hands better live up to all the expectations in my imagination! ;-)

25) Does size matter?
Sorry, but yes. But maybe not quite like what many guys think. Truth is, while I have never been with a guy like this, but too big can be a bad thing. You want something that fits, feels good. But having said that, no matter what, the guy needs to know how to use what he has.

26) Most times in one day?
Six

27) Most orgasms in one session?
I'm usually good for two, but then after that things tend to get a little numb as I am one of those women that needs a little extra help getting there.

27) What do you think about during sex?
Depends on the sex and the partner. Mostly I think about the sensations I'm feeling at the moment, and perhaps the events that led up to getting into that position. Rarely does my own mind wander away from what is really going on.

28) Ever had a threesome?
No, but I have had a foursome with my husband and another couple. That said, a MFM encounter is very high on my list of desires – and something I am working actively on achieving.

29) How often do you masturbate?
Four to five times per week if I'm getting regular sex that week. But like everyone else, some weeks the motivation just isn’t there, and others the motivation is really there!

30) Do you like oral?
Yes, I've been told it's one of my better bedroom skills by more than one guy ... and girl. In fact, I’ve blogged at length about it …

Anyway, hope you enjoy this little tongue and cheek bit of TMI for this week.

Andee     xoxo

 

An Authentic Brunette's Random Thoughts

For me this one is a bit of a personal debate as I ponder what will come next for my hairstyle ... although I have never thought of going blonde ... I found this little interesting argument online at a "mail order bride" site (don't ask).

"Since time immemorial, poets, writers, journalists, social scientists, talk show hosts, you name them, have struggled and fought to answer the question that burns in men's minds: Which shade of woman is preferred and why...blondes or brunettes? Are blondes better lovers? Are brunettes better suited in the boardroom? Can blondes be trusted? Is a brunette a better mate?

Blonde hair is unique in that it typically darkens with age. So a blonde woman gives the impression of being younger, more able to procreate. Theory has it that men have subconsciously developed an attraction to mate with women who appear younger, thus increasing the chances of having children. In northern climes, where survival of the species is paramount, one school of thought believes blondes developed genetically in order to attract more males and therefore increase the odds of maintaining the species.

Lighter eyes are a more desired trait as interest, such as in a male, is more easily seen in the pupil dilation (the signal of interest) of a blue-eyed women versus those of a dark-eyed one.

As early as the 14th century women were dying their hair lighter in order to look younger and become, they believed, more attractive. This is true in many traditionally dark haired areas of the world, for example Latin America, where a lighter haired and skinned woman is more highly prized than her brunette counterpart...so they say.

However, studies have shown that corporate entities seem to favour brunettes as managers and executives as illustrated by the size of their paycheck over those of blondes. Another study espoused that brunettes are preferred by men as mates and are more trustworthy and loyal. If you want to have fun, go with a blonde. But marry a brunette..."

So ... brunette or blonde ... maybe I might find a good wig for a photo set or two!

Andee     xoxo

Sex | What I Like In Porn

Had you asked me a dozen years ago if I ever imagined myself being even remotely involved in the “adult entertainment business,” I would have scoffed and said “not a chance.” Obviously, with the passing of a few years, my thoughts on that have changed dramatically.

I don’t think many women ever grow up dreaming to be in porn; although I suspect more than a few of the younger generation are much more willing to exploit it for what they can these days.

That said, I still don’t consider myself to be a “porn star” of any kind. Quite honestly, I’m just a “girl-next-door” with a slightly kinky and anonymously public hobby. And some days I’m not sure that we’re even really remarkable at doing that much. My website isn’t exceptionally dynamic – the images and some of the content I post there are unique to me, but I know there are other sites offering way more than I do. I guess how I do see my site is that you get the chance to slip away from the “air-brushed perfection” of most Playboy models and get to see the reality of a very normal Canadian woman.

That is really the premise of “amateur porn.” Yes, as a model my hobby does bring in a little extra disposable income; but trust me, there are no plans for me to retire to the glamourous shores of southern France. Amateur porn has certain grown in popularity and availability thanks to the Internet. And technology has also helped improve the quality of what we can offer. My very first “naughty” photos ever taken were on the “hush hush” platform of Polaroid!

And so, from a model and participants perspective, I have been able to see how the secret world of Internet porn has changed over the past several years.

As I get to know a few of my fans – and truly some have become longtime online friends – the question seems to occasionally come back to me about the kind of “porn” that captures my attention from the “consumer” side.

I was in my teens when I first saw any mainstream porn. My parents were among the first to install one of the original satellite dishes, and with the programming package came Playboy TV. My brother certainly was thrilled! And, I don’t mind admitting that I also enjoyed some of the shows from a “curious” perspective. I certainly saw a lot of things that made me go “hmm” and even a few that made me go “mmm.”

But as I grew up, and became more sexually open and adventurous, mainstream porn didn’t really appeal to me. Like a lot of women, I found it was generally about some fake-titted blonde getting hammered by all kinds of men over the span of about 90 minutes. After about five minutes, even the best of these “epics” tend to become routine. I wanted something that had a plot – or at least something close to a plot.

What I wanted from porn was something to engage my imagination. As much as I would like to think getting pounded by six different guys on the office desk would be sexually fun, watching an actress fake her way through 90 minutes of supposedly amazing sex just for the sake of getting pounded by six different guys in black socks doesn’t capture my imagination.

I then discovered a whole new line of porn, made by women for women. The getting pounded on the office desk scenario came with a story that helped set the stage for a fantasy I could almost believe in.

And that’s really where I want my porn to go … I love watching the sex, but I want to enjoy a little mind fuck along the way. I want to know how and why she ends up on the desk, and what is it that makes her lust for that moment. Women need to have that level of attachment to the moment – we need to be able to imagine ourselves in that setting, and we need to understand the reasons behind it. We don’t want to be just a receptacle for a bunch of muscled male actors who never seem to understand that leaving your socks on for sex looks damn silly.

Andee     xoxo

My Growing Interest In Lingerie

Over the past couple years I have developed a taste for nice lingerie; partly due to my evolving tastes in what I personally think is sexy, and partly due to the reaction it produces at home, at work and within myself. To say that looking sexy and feeling sexy is not an ego boost would just be misleading. As a woman ages, she needs even more reassurance that she still has the feminine ability to attract men.

And even though we have great sources for lingerie these days – places like Fredericks of Hollywood and Victoria's Secret – I think a lot of women have given up on the “old-fashioned idea” of sexy. It doesn’t help that pop culture has turned overtly slutty into the modern ideal of socially-acceptable sexy, but as long as size 0 models with size 0 IQs continue to flaunt it as fashion, well, we’ll just never get more women into the idea.

Lingerie has been reduced to seemingly only involve matching bras and panties these days. Of course, the traditional two-piece ensemble are an amazing part of any girl’s trousseau, but I can’t help wonder if there are other younger women out there that have a daily interest in sexy lingerie beyond just two pieces. And by that I mean, lingerie for the sake of personal interest, not as stage clothes and photographic wardrobe.

Without question, the modern idea for many lingerie enthusiasts remains steadfast in its connection to naughty Santa's helpers and Valentine's Day attire. But what about discovering the sexiness of wearing lingerie on an every day basis?

Yesterday, one of my newest pieces of lingerie made its debut on my website; and from all accounts so far, was well-received. I know it sure as hell was well-received at home – and I have every intention of seeing exactly how it might work for me at my work.

I think the idea of lingerie for something beyond posing for a camera is finding the balance between "feeling sexy" and "made for sex" ... because there is a very distinct difference. I can wear the feeling sexy lingerie all the time - including when sex is on the agenda, but I'm not sure I can wear the made for sex lingerie under a sexy dress for a day at the office.

In a way, my hobby has been a key determining factor in my desire for sexier underthings. I’m blessed with a husband who recognizes the need to keep my drawers filled with naughty lace things, and have developed a few friends with guys who enjoy seeing me in items they have bought for me as well. Of course, it’s hard not to have fun when those things combine all for my benefit.

Andee     xoxo

My Love For Nice Lingerie

"If your wearing lingerie that makes you feel glamorous, you're halfway thereto turning heads"

~ Elle Macpherson

Sexy new update, brought to you by a special friend on mine!

See ALL of me here!

Andee   xoxo

Sex | My Guilty Pleasures

What is it about sexual pleasure that makes us feel guilty? The shadows of our parents’ moral lessons? Or maybe society’s message that some things will forever remain “dirty” when indulged in? Despite how liberal our society has become, there is a social stigma attached to sex as a subject for public discussion. We can share all kinds of other deeply personal information with our peers and social circle, but sex is a taboo no matter how healthy and positive it is.

I'm not sure what it is, but sex remains something we're still not able to be open about. And so, whenever sex is on the menu, someone is bound to suggest we should feel guilty if we are enjoying it – or, in some circles, guilty for doing it for a purpose other than procreation.

What's one sexual guilty pleasure that you wouldn't openly tell your friends about? Why?
I'm not sure narrowing it down to just one guilty pleasure is good enough. There are a number of things that, sadly, I just can't be open about. I live in a pretty vanilla, very stereotypical suburban environment, where the only time sex ever comes to the forefront of conversation is when someone is banging someone they shouldn't be. I think most people are afraid to be known as sexual creatures.

Even this past weekend, my husband and I went to an annual sex show, where we usually scope out new ideas for my website, dabble in a little bit of our kinks, and maybe spend just a bit too much money on toys and lingerie.

So, one of the easy answers for something I would never disclose is the actual number of toys I own. There are a couple friends that know about my turbo bunny – but thanks to Sex And The City, it has been the one toy that is almost acceptable among girlfriends to admit to. But I'm not so sure I could have a similar discussion about my 9-inch black dildo, or the several other vibrating silicone sex toys that fill my drawer beside the bed.

Sex toys, while most women have them, suggest that there must be something else to what goes on in the bedroom – falsely. They have nothing to do with my husband's performance, nor mine. They have everything to do with a delicious enhancement and thrill to pretty much every time we get busy ... and damn, they're fun!

Which brings me to another topic that I just can't really dish on to people in my real life: the sexual habits of my husband and I.

On the way home the other night from the Everything To Do With Sex Show, we were discussing the situation between my Office Guy and I, and where things have gone lately. Save the whole story for another day, but it's just not as hot and heavy as it used to be –and quite frankly, I think my friend is struggling with his own sense of guilt/emotional baggage.

But as my husband was sharing his thoughts on the situation, he said "Can you imagine what our friends would think if they knew about any of this?" The idea that a married woman has the freedom to explore her sexual desires with a man other than her husband ...

Truth is, most people might like to fantasize about exploring sexually, but I get the sense that few ever act upon it – and that is what makes me afraid of sharing anything too personal with those not directly involved in my ongoing adventure.

Andee     xoxo 

What's So Unusual About Stockings

For some guys, today is a pretty special day - it's National Stockings Day in England, a day sponsored by Charnos Hosiery designed to raise awareness and money for breast cancer awareness. For anyone who is interested in following my own antics for the day, catch up with me on Twitter. I have a few really sexy stockings pics that will be posted throughout the day to help make it a bit more interesting for you.

Of course, the idea of me wearing stockings also fits into today's blog theme - something that popped up a while back in my Formspring questions.

What is the most unusual sexual experience you’ve ever had?

Are stockings really that unusual? Probably not for a lot of people; and really not so much for me when we just consider wearing them for something like my website or to make a video for you. But for me to push the limits of my comfort zone and introduce them as part of my work-related wardrobe ... that was exceptionally unusual (and sexual) for me.

If you remember back to what I wrote at the time, I think it really still sums up my thoughts:

One morning, I woke up before my husband, walked into the bathroom and proceeded to get ready for my day at work. Like I often do, I had set out my outfit for the day, so that I wouldn't need to disturb him while he slept. I found a little note from him stuck inside the dress I was planning to wear, along with the stockings and garterbelt. The whole thing was worth it the moment my husband walked into the kitchen to say goodbye to me before I left for the day.

I know my husband loves me, and we have an awful lot of fun together both in and out of the bedroom, but there is nothing that can mask true lustful surprise on a man's face. It's a look that goes right to my heart and knees ... and ego. After over 20 years of being together, there aren't many times left when I can see that sincere expression of delighted shock and desire. It was like watching a kid at Christmas.

Later in the day, when I revealed my fashion leap to my Office Guy the first time, his reaction was equally incredible. To stand just a few feet away from him and do the seductive hiking up of my hem, to see his eyes light up and just stare in amazement was an amazing turn-on for me. Then to allow him to touch and fondle ... still a prominent masturbation memory.

Of course, almost all of what opened the door on this was one of the other most unusual sexual experiences in my life: having an adult website ...

This is something that I would have never anticipated ever indulging in, but has certain been a big motivator and enabler in my sexual adventure. It has given me the confidence and fueled my desire to explore and push the limits.

I can't say that something like that would be for everyone - and, honestly, I'm thankful it's not.

Other things that come to mind, but may be best saved for a future blog, would include:

• Going to the swingers clubs ... that is way outside my comfort zone ...
• Finally finding the courage to turn my bi-curious status to bisexual ...
• My afternoon rendezvous with my Office Guy ... that is just something that I don't do, so for me that is beyond the limits.

 Having wrapped my brain around all of this though, the reality is I like the unusual side of life. It's what makes everything so interesting ... especially the sex!

Andee     xoxo

The Thoughts That Swirl Around

One of the questions that landed in my email recently kind of got me thinking. The person who sent it asked me if I ever fantasize about my website members, like they fantasize about me.

I guess the first answer is: I’m thankful some of you consider me fantasy material. I love bringing my crazy little world to you, and just appreciate knowing you are enjoying it.

My fantasies tend to fluctuate, as you have seen over the past two years of me sharing on my blog and the past 10 years on my Southern Charms site. Some I have been lucky to explore and turn into realities, while others are simply good ideas floating around in my imagination. And that’s probably not that different from many others – life experience tends to bring new ideas, desires and intrigue to a person.

I can’t say I have ever specifically fantasized about random men that may have sent me a sexy email or naughty IM. There have been guys who have been online friends – people I have chatted with, and in the beginning, a few guys I webcammed with – that I have shared a slightly more intimate experience with online. At the time, those experiences were a great deal of fun. My exposure to the more sexual side of the internet was new, fresh and helped fill both my time and imagination at point in my life when I needed some distraction.

But, like a lot of things, it became a bit “routine” and the excitement waned. New experiences took their place and I was off on a new direction in my sexual adventure.

The intriguing thoughts that still occasionally pop into my mind are more about the fun and pleasure that I hope my members – and readers here, as well – are having thanks to my efforts. I find it quite exciting and ego-boosting to think that I can still turn some men on with the kind of things I do online. If you knew the real me behind Andee, you would quickly see that I’m not a vain person, so doing the photos and videos are still, even after 10 years, a big stretch for me. I tend to see the flaws more than the fantasy.

But I won’t deny that I enjoy knowing the reaction those things produce. I believe that all women, on some level, like the idea of being sexually desirable; even if some of the more staunch feminists and anti-pornographers say the whole concept is disgusting.

The other part of my kink that this appeals to is the fact that I love watching a man pleasure himself. Seeing a man in all his erect glory, utterly turned on and stroking for all he is worth is exceptionally erotic. And why not? I know a lot of men like watching us masturbate. Goodness, there’s a whole billion dollar industry built around gadgets intended to help women reach orgasms.

Andee     xoxo

TMI Tuesday | Love, Sex and Cum

The fact that today is the day my Little Men go back to school should be orgasm-worthy enough. Anyone who has children will certainly appreciate that feeling. I love summer, and I love my kids, but the last couple weeks of vacation always seem to be the ones that turn it all from relaxation to the typical mantra of "I'm bored."

And at the same time, I'm also a little sad that the summer is reaching its end. This one just flew by for me, and half of the excitement and adventure I had hoped for never seemed to materialize. Maybe karma is thinking that autumn might need to be a hot one ... here's hoping!

This week’s TMI Tuesday questions come from the wacky, inventive, and sexually creative mind of the late phoenix.

1. We are all incurable sex addicts, but name one thing—a job, a passion, a creative outlet, a collection—of yours you use as a replacement, a distraction from constantly thinking about sex 24/7.
For me, the reality is the opposite. I use sex, and thinking about sex, as the distraction from the insanity that swirls around me. My job is very demanding, and sometimes emotionally difficult, so it can consume a lot of my conscious mind. From there, I go home to a somewhat equally taxing environment - not because of my marriage, but because I have two very busy Little Men (each with their own unique challenges and needs) and a mountain of bills (because no matter how much you dream, there is always some sort of debt to be paid). Trying to keep a household afloat and two growing young men on a positive path is a massive undertaking at the best of times.

And so, because all these other things in life are so consuming, my husband and I consciously set out on this sexual adventure I have blogged about for the past couple years. We have worked (and still continue to work at) shedding some of the hang-ups we have and try to fulfill as many of our passions, desires and fantasies as we can. Connected to that, my website has become an escape for me; somewhere that I can be a fantasy woman and all those wild sexual ideas that escape me during my real life.

2. Have you ever loved somebody so much you thought having sex with them would actually sully the pristine purity of that love?
I can't say I have. I think I am, once again, more on the opposite side of this: someone who has deep feelings for another person and has a strong desire to take it to the ultimate intimacy. With the people in my life that I have a sexual interest in, my mind tends to wander towards ideas of what it would be like to be naked, sweaty and in the throws of passion with them. Forbidden fruit tastes even sweeter ... sometimes.

3. If you could make love to yourself, would you? Describe this experience in full detail.
First, I would take me out to dinner - and if I ordered the lobster bisque, I would be seriously expecting to get laid later.

Since I already know what it takes to get me hot, wet and sexually enthusiastic, there would be a lot of kissing and gentle touching to begin with. I would make sure to pay careful attention to as many of my erogenous zones possible before I made any move that was overtly sexual. I was spend a good long time teasing my nipples with kisses and nibbles, until they were rock hard and pointing straight out. From there, I would begin the long, sensual process of working my way down to my pussy. First I would gently play with it with my fingers, taking my time to get there with my mouth.

Then, when I knew I was beyond turning back, I would begin to lick and gently suck on my clit, rubbing the tip of my tongue along the spot that I know sends those orgasmic shivers right through my body. At the same time I would slide two fingers deep into me, rubbing against my g-spot, working both until I could sense the building orgasm, the tension of the muscles, the pushing back against my fingers and mouth ... the swelling of my clit until everything reached a crescendo of throbbing, pulsing release.

Yowza ... now I'm quite turned on.

4. Cum, are you a fan? Explain and expound.
Yes, a huge fan. I love watching a man cum, I love making a man cum ... and I absolutely love it when he cums in my mouth. It took me a while to acquire a taste for that last statement, but as I became more experienced at using my oral talents to tease and torment a man, the more I enjoyed giving blowjobs. I think part of the experience is the ego boost that comes with knowing you can bring your partner to the height of pleasure. Seeing a man cum is the biggest reward for the sexual efforts I have put in to helping him achieve that orgasm.

Most recently, my husband did something relatively new in our sex life. Most times he just lets go with one big push while he is still inside me, but this time he pulled out and came all over the outside of my pussy. Looking down to watch him shoot on to me, and then the sensation of using his cum as lubricant for my vibrator was incredible.

5. Does it creep you out to know that God is watching you as you’re fucking?
If He is watching, then I might as well be entertaining. Not to mention, usually during a good session I am singing His praises anyway.

Bonus: Tell us something sexy that happened to you this week.
Hmm ... tough one, given the workload I had and the madness of getting the Little Men ready to return to school.

The week before back to school tends to be a whirlwind here. My little Little Man had back to back weekend baseball tournaments, then there's the back to school shopping and preparation, easing out of the summer routine into the more familiar and regular school routine...work...work...and getting ready for hockey tryouts. Spare time for something sexual and fun is a monsterous challenge.

That said, on Friday I was not at work, and was able to find a bit of time for myself in the morning. I was reading one of my more erotic books while taking a break in my bedroom. After one of the more sexual scenes, I was left quite turned on, so I reached into my night table for my favourite toy and worked myself into quite a delightful orgasm.

_____________________________________________

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Andee     xoxo

Sex | A Favourite Fetish

This is probably one topic that could keep going around and around as I get deeper and deeper into my sexual adventure. And while it has been a marvelous 10 years of exploring, gradually experimenting and experiencing new things, I am continually amazed at both what I learn from other people in terms of fetishes, and how my own kinks and sexual quirks seemingly evolve along the way.

I can't say that any of mine border even close to some of those truly outrageous requests I have gotten through my website and videos over the past decade ... some of which still leave me scratching my head. I think mine are relatively tame and yet still sexy enough to be intriguing and maybe a bit unusual among my offline circle of friends. Naturally, I am making a bit of an assumption there, as I don't really know what goes on behind their bedroom doors.

So when this Formspring question made an appearance, I thought "I have an answer to that!"

What is one of your favourite fetishes, and why?

Quite a while back I wrote about how I was learning to really understand what it is men like about women in stockings. For photographic reasons, I was quite comfortable with wearing them, along with the more modern version, thigh highs. But other than my wedding day, and a few steamy date nights, I had not really explored the idea of wearing hosiery as such, as part of my office attire.

And while it is something that always proves to be a worthwhile fashion choice - given the reactions it produces at home and at work - like all good fetishes, moderation is the key in keeping it exciting and erotic each time. I think if I wore them everyday, or at least every time I dressed up for work or a date, it may get a little too expected. Part of why it is a favourite fetish is the reaction of the guys, not just the ideas in my own mind.

I have definitely come to appreciate the sideways glances, and occasional downright stare, that I get from the guys I work with. Unlike some women who might see that as a precursor to sexual harassment, I'm thrilled - and somewhat turned on - but the knowledge that they consider me worthy of their lusty looks. I certainly can't complain when the whole idea is very much planned and expected on my behalf.

I think that is a big part of why I see it as being different from being "objectified." I set out with a teasing, flirting scheme in mind ... trying to be coy on my own to catch the men around me sneaking a peek. And if our eyes happen to meet, I try to give them a knowing little look that says I'm thrilled they noticed and flattered.

And even though the guys may never know if there is a garter belt holding those stockings up, or if I'm jammed into some tortuous control tops, I can't say I get the same personal feelings from pantyhose ... they are just something that I could never feel comfortable in. But stockings, and the occasional romp in thigh highs, make me feel sexy and attractive.

That's why right now, they are among my favourite fetishes. And, if you really like to see how it plays out, don't miss my latest update ... it's exactly what this blog is all about!

Andee     xoxo

The Real TMI To Yesterday's Questions

If you happened to stop by yesterday, you would have read my questions to the answers that the folks behind TMI Tuesday provided this week. Of course, if you have been paying attention to me over the past two years, you will know that I'm not one for short answers.

And even though the questions were created on the fly, I thought it might be kind of fun to dig a little deeper into the answers - because I think I have figured out that you seem to enjoy really getting into the naughty corners of my mind.

1. When using a dildo with your partner, where is the most likely spot it will end up? 

It all depends on exactly how the dildo became involved in the moment - and which dildo in my collection it is. Not too long ago, my husband bought me a new toy, strictly intended to be used for anal play during intercourse. He knows just how much the idea of being penetrated in front and back gets me extremely hot and bothered. It's a huge fantasy that we often like to play with.

However, I do own a couple of larger dildos that aren't exactly suited for that same purpose. As much as I like to think about being taken in both holes, some things are just a bit too large to make it a wild experience. Those particular toys are more than likely to be used as "torture" devices by my hubby as he torments the hell out of my pussy - and mind - with them.

2. What is the one accessory you can wear on a date to make sure you wind up getting laid?

Without question, my husband loves me in high heels. And I have learned that when I feel the need or desire for a little sexual attention, slipping on a pair of sexy stilettos is one way to guarantee I will get some.

I still remember when I first learned that my husband had a bit of a footwear fetish. At the time, we were still dating and I had borrowed a friend's pair of boots that I happened to like. At the end of the evening I was on my back, heels in the air, having an awesome time ... and would always have a little smile when I would see my friend wearing them, wondering what she would think if she knew what I did in them.

3. What is the one physical reaction you expect your answer to Question 2 will produce in your date for the night? 

Let's just say that I pretty know just how I can turn my husband on without doing too much ... a sexy little dress, a great pair of shoes and a naughty little glance will help me turn get him hard and stiff. And for those women who somehow think doing something like that is tiresome or beneath them, ie: "Why should I have to do something like that?" ... you have totally missed the lesson on seduction, and the rewards it brings.

4. What is something that you partner might say in bed that would put a damper on your sexual enthusiasm?
As I mention below, sex doesn't always have to be a serious occasion. Some fun, laughter and light-heartedness is also a good thing. However, short of referring to me by someone else's name in the height of passion or throws of orgasm, probably the one thing that would put me off is if a guy is talking to himself. The funny answer given by the folks at TMI was “By George I think he’s got it!” For me, that would be just way too weird. First, the George I know in my real life is not all that ... and secondly, it would be hard to get visions of Eliza Doolittle out of my mind.

If you don't know who she is, try reading Pygmalion by ... wait for it ... George Bernard Shaw. Or renting My Fair Lady, the musical movie version of the same story.

5. Sex doesn't always have to such a serious thing. What is the last thing you wore to bed that made your partner laugh? 

I find it amusing when I meet people who believe that sex has to be this serious, mind-blowing experience every single time. When you spend many years with the same person, you learn that sex can be fun on many different levels, from the excitement of newlywed sex through to exploring and pushing the relationship envelope inside the bedroom, it doesn't have to ever be "the same old thing."

In my relationship, we have shared tears over sex and laughs. One of the funniest moments came when I was in college and my boyfriend (who became my husband) stayed over. Canadian winters can get a little cold, and the house I was sharing with my roommates wasn't always at a tropical temperature. I was wearing a pair of wool socks to keep my feet warm when he brushed my feet with his and then said in a pretend sexy voice "Oh baby, I love how you wear things to turn me on."

It was a very hysterical moment for me at the time ... but I have since stopped wearing thick wool socks to bed. 

6. When using a washroom in a public place, what is the one thing that will make you risk wetting yourself instead of just going?

There is part of me that is intrigued by the idea of a glory hole experience. The anonymity of the situation, the thrill of doing something I happen to love doing - giving oral sex - is a turn on. However, despite the reality of what a glory hole is, I would still want the security of it being a safe and clean experience.

That said, slipping into most public bathrooms is a test for even the most relaxed germaphobe ... and if I see anything that remotely looks like a peephole, you can be guaranteed I will risk the kidney stones, and hold it until I can pee somewhere less disgusting.

Bonus:

What would you say to your partner when they accidentally discover your collection of Playgirl magazines?
I don't think I ever really got into Playgirl magazine all that much until later in life. I wasn't particularly drawn to pictoral porn; opting for the more erotic approach of the written word. Now, I have no objection to seeing photos of hot naked men with 0% body fat and hard and stiff ...

But I also don't have much reason to hide any of that.

So, the real truth behind my question to the answer: I hid them there so you wouldn’t find them ... relates a lot more to where I store my AA batteries, and how I keep them tucked away for my own battery-operated fun so that my Little Men will not find them and use them for silly things like their remotes for the video game system.

Andee     xoxo

The Best (Sex) Decision I Ever Made

Seriously, I can't say enough about how happy I am to reach the end of the week. This has been another crazy one for me; but given that we're in the middle of prime vacation season, it's no wonder things at work are blowing like a summer thunderstorm.

I have found myself lost in thought about the direction of my sexual adventure. A few things out of my control have slowed some of my plans, while a couple of other discoveries have left me feeling somewhat intrigued. Confusing, yet still quite enjoyable.

My desire is that this summer will bring some new sexual experiences. Although some have left me panting with desire, I remain hopeful some others can still become a reality.

Anyway, when this question was asked by my darling hubby the other day, it gave me the opportunity to slip back into some of the dark corners of my imagination and dig through my past to come up with a good answer for him ... and you.

Which has been the best decision you ever made sexually?

Other than marrying my husband ... I would have to say starting my website. It is definitely one of the most unique decisions I have made in relation to my sex life. It's certainly not something that everyone can say they have done. It has also been a huge motivator for me to discover a much deeper sense of who I am as a sexual person, and opened a lot of doors that have allowed me to do so.

Like most women I know - at least those who have been willing to share - decisions such as losing my virginity were not among the best. Made during the peak of teenage hormones and a desire to be "accepted" among my peers, it wasn't the best of experiences. Frankly, I wish I had waited. I don't necessarily regret that moment, but I was so young and naive ... and it took me a long time to get over some of the emotional residue from that relationship.

My website has allowed me to find my sexual groove with a great deal of openness. It has forced my husband and I to be more creative with our sexual desires, ideas and experiences. Instead of hiding some of our kinks and sexual quirks, we found a way to share them and discuss them ... heck, even videotape some of them. For all the "vanilla" that remains in my real life, the escape into being "Andee" and the freedom that comes with it has become a big key in the success of our marriage.

When you are creating fantasies for other people, it has forces you to not be spectators in life. In a way, it brings a responsibility to open the imaginations of all those people who come along with us in the adventure. I can't tell you how many hours of fun I have had as a result of my site that I may not have had otherwise ... plus where it led in terms of exploring so many of my own fantasies.

Andee     xoxo