Talking Dirty And Getting In Trouble

A number of years ago I had a blog on a much different kind of website. Unfortunately, that turned into a very disappointing experience, so I’m certainly not going to provide them with any kind of promo. But, even though it wasn’t a positive ending for me, I did manage to archive my blog entries from there before I moved on to something a lot more in tune with my ambitions and personality. So, as we eek through another week, I thought this would be something fun to share once again.

The subject remains the same, but I’ve certainly added to my track record since I first answered the question … consider it one of those “if I knew then, what I know now” predicaments.

Anyway, on that particular website, someone who I interacted with wanted to know what the best kind of trouble I got into while talking dirty. There are kind of two answers to that …

A few years ago, words led me into the act of turning fantasy into reality during our exploration into the swinging lifestyle. These days that part of the adventure is somewhat “on hold” as far too many other priorities have taken hold of our time – and imagination – and therefore we’re sitting it out for a while.

It wasn’t so much about “talking dirty” but a lot more innuendo mixed with more than a couple feel-good beverages is what led to our first real swinging situation. My husband and I were at a neighbour’s party when I got into a conversation with the husband of another couple that was there. The conversation started off innocent enough, but gradually grew more sexually-infused as we talked ... and drank.

I hadn’t realized it, but we spent a good couple of hours immersed in this kind of banter hinting at sex and sexual experiences when the subject turned to me getting my nipple ring – which I still had at the time. Naturally this came out as a bit of a shock to a couple of people, because on the surface, I really am a very “average” girl-next-door type. They were shocked – and intrigued – to learn about my hidden wild side. Next thing you know, I’m out in the garage (a couple people were having a cigarette), pulling up my top to show him (and the others who took time away from their smoke to have a peek). There was a great deal of continued conversation about how much fun it was to play with, the erotic sensations that go straight to my pussy, etc.

Lo’ behold, a couple weeks later my husband and I are in bed exploring with this couple and having an exceptionally naughty and orgasmic time.

Talking dirty is also the way I learned to appreciate anal sex and toy play at the same time.

Anal isn't something I give up too often – much to my husband’s frustration (sorry Honey!). But one night we were having a really good session after playing on the computer for a bit. I was on my hands and knees, thoroughly enjoying the moment...and we started talking about double penetration. My hubby was teasing me with his fingers from behind and getting me very into the whole fantasy of having two beautifully hard men taking me.

After tormenting me this way for a few minutes and making me confess that I would love to have two guys in me at the same time, he grabbed one of my toys and some lube and began to tease me again. With my butt sticking up in the air, he lubed himself up and slid into my ass, and told me to tell him how much I would like to be taken by two guys. I started rubbing my vibrator in the good spots, and then pushed it into me.

I can't describe just how incredible it felt to be completely filled ... but let me tell you ... my fantasy for a threesome with two mean was solidified at that point. I definitely knew that was one of the best ways to explore a little bit of "trouble."

To this day, my husband still takes me to that point in sex where my mind is swirling, desperate for release and then makes me confess some of my naughtiest thoughts.

Hope that brightens your day! I'm off to play in the shower now ;-)

Andee     xoxo

TMI Tuesday | Navigating Sex

As much as I might like to consider myself in the midst of a sexual adventure, sometimes it can be a very delicate balance between desire and disaster. But, regardless of what you might consider an "adventure," we have all found ourselves in those situations where feelings can be complicated and our sexual connections just not ... connecting.

Some interesting questions for this week's TMI Tuesday.

Answer yes or no:

• I regret my first kiss
• I miss my first love
• I married my first love
• I loved someone that didn’t love me

Hmm … don’t know if I would say any of these are extremely accurate, with the exception of marriage. I believe I have married my true love, but I also believe that we are capable of loving on many different levels.

My first kiss was pretty much what every young teen girl goes through, with a boy who just happened to be the boy of the moment. I've kissed quite a few since then, and a few girls along the way too!

I certainly don't miss my first "love" ... but wish I knew better at the time and would have been a bit more cautious about giving my heart away.

Do you consider yourself monogamous or polyamorous or some other category which you will explain or define for us now?
Mostly monogamous. We have dabbled in the swinger’s lifestyle and managed to explore sexually with other people – but we have never taken it beyond some hot, steamy moments and oral sex. Are these the opening doors of things still to come? I can’t say because, although my interest in continuing to explore is extremely high, it can be complicated when you are a finicky as me. However, we definitely don’t qualify for the polyamory category and can’t admit that we are active swingers. I suppose the category that would define us best is “sexual adventurers.” We love to explore, we love to test the limits, but at the same time we are wimpy and love the sense of security of being married and mostly monogamous.

Your partner is in the mood for sex and you are tired – what do you do?
   a) Start snoring. There is no way I’m giving it up tonight.
   b) Trade. You give me a massage…and we will see…
   c) That would never happen!
The only answer that really fits is c). But the truth is I am more for negotiations for a rain cheque. I might be tired tonight, but how about we set the alarm for a few minutes earlier in the morning?

Does your partner mind if you masturbate, in bed, while they are there?
I would say, about 50% of the time when I masturbate my husband is right there, watching and sometimes helping. I'm one of those women, as I have said a number of times, that needs a little help achieving orgasm. So, with that reality, our sex life tends to involve a fair bit of manual manipulation.

On the other side, I would love it if he would include me in more of watching him do the same, but that seems to be something he keeps to himself a great deal.

Describe your typical sexual romp:
   a) You are playful and tame
   b) You have occasionally introduced a few things like outfits and toys
   c) You love trying new things and shocking your partner
A bit of b) and a healthy dose of c). We’re beyond the “occasional” part of sex toys and naughty outfits – mostly due to the little naughty hobby we have on the side and the fact that I have a substantial collection of battery-operated marital aids, but I don’t think that our sex romps are always about trying new things. Having said that, I always love new things when sex is involved!

BONUS: What was your best ever masturbation experience? Why was it the best? Describe.
Wow, that is is tough one to answer. There's been some crazy moments for me, but I think one that stands out as one of the best is the first time that I masturbated on webcam. Masturbation tends to be a hugely private thing for me, but in the early days of my sexual adventure I was discovering a lot about the Internet and the kinkiness it can add to your evenings.

It was something that I found very exhilarating and liberating - as I had never done anything like that in front of anyone but my husband. I remember spending most of the evening teasing and tormenting with the guy I was chatting with, and watching him reveal himself to me. I was getting hornier as the night went on, and as my husband was working, it felt even naughtier.

Andee     xoxo

Relationships | Having An Out In Swinging

On the weekend I was having a bit an abbreviated online chat with a guy who has been a fairly regular follower of mine on Twitter and here. We were discussing the idea of “swinging” and my personal experiences with the lifestyle.

For the record, I’m probably not the best resource for an in-depth expose on the matter; just someone who has floundered here and there with trying to discover if it is something that appeals to me. I think I have made it relatively clear that “swinging” has been one of those not-so-satisfying adventures for me. And it’s not even the idea – because my desire is there, without a doubt. But for some reason, experimenting with other couples has just never worked out for my husband and I.

Regardless … my friend’s one question was what advice would I offer to couples who were just getting into the experience?

I thought about this for a while, because I don’t want to be negative. My own challenges are not necessarily what other people may experience, and as I mentioned, we still have a very curious desire to explore should the right opportunity arise. I’m not one to make any judgment on the lifestyle – just sigh about how our efforts seem to get derailed.

Plus, there is so much that could be said about exploring with the idea of introducing new people into your relationship. You need to consider on what level, and just what, you are comfortable with.

And so, assuming you have done all the talking, fantasizing, talking and talking with each other as a couple – and have reached the mutual decision that “swinging” may be worth exploring together – the best advice I would give is to make sure you have an “out.” An “out” is a safe word or phrase that could be used by either one of you to put the brakes on a situation that you don’t feel comfortable in.

For example, ours was “Let’s go for ice cream.” A simple expression that we understood meant we needed to cool things down.

This allows you some comfort in knowing that you have control over what you feel is OK as things progress. As much as some people want to mislead you into thinking otherwise, the truth is, you won’t know for sure what you are willing and capable of doing until you are in the moment. You might think you’re alright with the idea of some guy treating your wife like an amusement park on the hotel bed, but emotions can be funny things.

The same for men. It’s not easy for a man to be completely “into the moment” while another man is right there beside him also trying to be completely “into the moment.” I know men, despite their brashest bravado, can struggle with an erection when there is another penis in the room. Some guys have that subconscious homophobia to deal with.

And what if that other guy doesn’t share your inopportune flaccidity? What if he’s rocking some serious steel, your wife is drooling over the prospect of riding a new cowboy and you’re still trying to coax out any reaction you can from south of the border. Now suddenly he has two female playmates that might be more intrigued by the idea of a feminine tag-team and you’re left walking down the hall to get some more ice for their post-coitus beverages. Or vice versa …

Women are definitely at an advantage in this, as our bodies aren’t as quick to reveal our apprehension and nervousness. But that is not to say we don’t feel the same way. Conversely, imagine how we might feel if you are the one sporting the bull mastiff as soon as she doffs her bra? We have our own insecurities too.

There is a lot that can be positive about exploring new aspects of sex and relationships, provided everyone involved shares an understanding. Whether it is a desire to bring new people into the bedroom, or as simply as introducing a sex toy to the Tuesday night routine, sex is meant to be a pleasurable experience for all.

Communication and respect for each other’s desires and insecurities will go a long way to turning those fantasies in wonderful adventures.

Andee     xoxo

TMI Tuesday | Show Me Something Sexy

Are you ready for Santa? In just one week, the big guy in the red suit will be sliding down the chimney ... and damn, I hope that naughty list goes up in flames!

This week with TMI Tuesday, we look at just some of the more recent naughty events that may have put me on that other list. But let's be honest, even Santa can appreciate a naughty girl every now and then!

What is the sexiest thing you have done in the past two months?
It’s been a wildly busy two months for my husband and I, so incredible tales of wild, swinging weekends and sexual adventures best saved for graphic romance novels aren’t really at my disposal right now – unless you want to slip inside my overactive imagination. But, that said, sexy doesn’t always have to be something extreme and crazy. Sometimes sexy can simply be a moment spent completely invested in making someone feel special and loved. With that in mind, I would say the sexiest thing I have done in the past two months is invest a good part of a couple days drawn into some very steamy sexting with my husband, followed by some very sweaty sex at unusual hours for a married couple with busy lives and busy children.

Connecting on an emotional level like that, after spending the day wrapped up in a technology-aided sexual whirlwind, can be extremely sexy. If not equally important, in order to keep the flames of passion burning in a relationship.

What is the sexiest thing you have worn in the past 30 days?
Without a doubt, the sexiest thing I have worn in the past month is some incredible lingerie that a friend sent for me to wear. You can see from the attached image, a small peek at the outfit …

For me, the outfit is sexy on a number of levels: first, just the look. When I first saw this lingerie, during an online shopping spree with my friend, I said it was very sexy. It’s not over the top; it’s not “cheesy”. It has a classic look and mood to it. It’s the kind of lingerie that is meant to be worn, not just something for a “stockings and lace” swingers’ party. Along with that, it is the kind of lingerie that I can – and will – wear under a dress just like the one in the photo. Unlike some of the lingerie on my website, this can be practical in a very sexy and flirtatious manner offline!

Secondly, it is sexy because of the kinkiness behind it. This is lingerie that someone other than my husband bought for me to wear. For me, that adds to the excitement … and the desire to slip it on and behave in a very naughty way, even when the camera isn’t pointed at me. Knowing that someone else is enjoying the reality behind that ... uh huh, that is sexy to me.

What is the sexiest thing you have watched in the last 30 days?
Settling into one of my more kinky thoughts, the one thing that I find incredibly sexy is when I get to watch my husband stroke himself. I can’t explain just how much of a turn-on that is for me – to be able to just watch and enjoy. I guess because it allows me to see how he brings himself to an erection and his technique for pleasuring himself. To me, this is incredibly sexy – and made even more so because it’s a somewhat rare treat.

What is the sexiest thing you have heard in the last two weeks?
“Sweetie, I did the vacuuming.”

I dare you to find anything more orgasmic to a woman’s ears than hearing a verbal confirmation of actual housecleaning from their spouse. Talk about instant arousal.

The coup de grace was: “I also emptied the dishwasher.”

Damn, now I’m horny just reminiscing about it all.

What is the sexiest thing you’ve said in the last 24 hours?
Does reading the answers featured above count as “the last 24 hours”?

BONUS: Tell us or show us something sexy.

And there you go, some sexy naughtiness to get us in the mood for some serious seasonal fun!

Andee     xoxo

Looking For The Emotional Connection

There’s a small part of me that is amazed at how some people can just get down to business for the sake of getting down to business. Perhaps it is my sexual history, and that I have always been in a somewhat monogamous situation since I was 15. Or maybe it’s just because I have a slightly romantic outlook on sex.

When it comes to intercourse, one of the most important factors for me is having an emotional connection. I think that is why I haven’t always been the greatest participant our “swinging experiment.” I just couldn’t get into the idea of separating the act from the feelings – and I don’t mean the physical sensations.

Defining what “emotional connection” means seems to be one of the biggest challenges in the ongoing debate between Mars and Venus. Men use sex to create deeper emotional connections with their partners, while women need to feel that connection in order to be sexually involved. Naturally, take these as slight generalizations, but they seem to be a fairly common perspective.

For me, the emotional connection isn’t this great epiphany … in fact, it means more about whether or not I like the person that is becoming involved in my sexual experience. Do I like them as a person? Do I find them to be someone who I could be friends with beyond the bed? Do understand their perspective on the same kind of values I hold outside of sex? Are they only motivated to get into my panties, or would they give me the time of day knowing that may never happen?

In other words, do they see me as only a receptacle for their erection, or do they actually give a shit about me as a person?

An emotional connection doesn’t have to be about love, romance and red roses. And it isn’t to be confused with physical attraction. It just has to be something more than an animalist, no-name fuck in a bathroom stall after a few drinks at a nightclub.

Is some of it tied to my upbringing and strong Catholic morals? Probably … and there’s likely a connection to the messages that society pushes onto us – women aren’t meant for “casual, meaningless sex.” Well, only if you want to be labeled in some unflattering way.

That said; one-night stands still leave me with many curious thoughts. I’ve never had one … never really had a great opportunity to fulfill one; well, not that I’m ready to admit too. But I am fascinated at how some people I know have found themselves in these moments and have no regrets over them. Seemingly there is a whole realm of psychology behind how this can be; and I have no doubt the same shrinks would have a field day with some of my sexual desires.

For me there is a very naughty appeal to the fantasy of “stranger sex.” It’s another leading fantasy many women have; where they encounter a handsome stranger and share an incredible moment of life-changing intimacy. But the fantasy isn’t about meeting a mysterious stranger; the fantasy is about a desire for newness and discovery. It’s about letting go of the safety net and falling into a situation within our minds where we are still very much in control of the outcome.

And I think that is where I frustrate my husband sometimes … especially when it comes to the idea of exploring more in the swinging lifestyle. As exciting as the idea of it is, I lean much more to the voyeuristic side of the lifestyle and can’t see myself going along for some random meeting where we all know the true objective.

I guess I’m still trying to discover the whole “sex for the sake of sex” ideal, rather than a moment of intimacy with both a mental and physical reward.

Andee     xoxo

Hall Pass | Not In The Traditional Sense

Like a lot of people, I have certain ... um ... desires about expanding my list of sexual conquests. It's a healthy fascination, because the human brain needs to be stimulated, as does the female imagination. At the same time, that doesn't necessarily mean that I am continually on the prowl to fulfill that desire. At least that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

So, every now and then I receive an intriguing question from someone that allows me to explore some of those imagination-stimulating ideas and share them with you.

Do you have a ‘hall pass?’

Kinda sorta ... depends a lot on your real definition of a "hall pass," and even then with conditions attached. In my case, it’s just a complicated sort of predicament.

Of course, this idea moved to the forefront of our culture after a really bad movie a couple years back, in which a group of married men were given a “hall pass” by their wives. I won’t go too deeply into the storyline ... I think the fact it bombed at the cinemas pretty much tells the tale best. A silly premise based on an expression in use since the 1960s.

But, in urban terminology (hey, I looked it up, OK) a “hall pass” is time off from being in a marriage. It’s one spouse granting permission to the other to go about the length of the “hall pass” as if they were single. It's the foundation of "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" mentality, except with a hint of permission. So in that sense, I don’t have one, nor do I want one. I love my husband, I love being married and I love sharing the adventure with him. So to deny him the opportunity to share in that would be beyond me.

Now, all that said, there is a sort of intriguing agreement in place within our relationship: while we don’t consider ourselves “swingers” by any traditional definition, there are a couple open doors should the right opportunity surface for us to introduce another person into our sex life. And, if you have followed along for a while, you know that this has been a big part of my adventure.

Andee     xoxo

What's So Unusual About Stockings

For some guys, today is a pretty special day - it's National Stockings Day in England, a day sponsored by Charnos Hosiery designed to raise awareness and money for breast cancer awareness. For anyone who is interested in following my own antics for the day, catch up with me on Twitter. I have a few really sexy stockings pics that will be posted throughout the day to help make it a bit more interesting for you.

Of course, the idea of me wearing stockings also fits into today's blog theme - something that popped up a while back in my Formspring questions.

What is the most unusual sexual experience you’ve ever had?

Are stockings really that unusual? Probably not for a lot of people; and really not so much for me when we just consider wearing them for something like my website or to make a video for you. But for me to push the limits of my comfort zone and introduce them as part of my work-related wardrobe ... that was exceptionally unusual (and sexual) for me.

If you remember back to what I wrote at the time, I think it really still sums up my thoughts:

One morning, I woke up before my husband, walked into the bathroom and proceeded to get ready for my day at work. Like I often do, I had set out my outfit for the day, so that I wouldn't need to disturb him while he slept. I found a little note from him stuck inside the dress I was planning to wear, along with the stockings and garterbelt. The whole thing was worth it the moment my husband walked into the kitchen to say goodbye to me before I left for the day.

I know my husband loves me, and we have an awful lot of fun together both in and out of the bedroom, but there is nothing that can mask true lustful surprise on a man's face. It's a look that goes right to my heart and knees ... and ego. After over 20 years of being together, there aren't many times left when I can see that sincere expression of delighted shock and desire. It was like watching a kid at Christmas.

Later in the day, when I revealed my fashion leap to my Office Guy the first time, his reaction was equally incredible. To stand just a few feet away from him and do the seductive hiking up of my hem, to see his eyes light up and just stare in amazement was an amazing turn-on for me. Then to allow him to touch and fondle ... still a prominent masturbation memory.

Of course, almost all of what opened the door on this was one of the other most unusual sexual experiences in my life: having an adult website ...

This is something that I would have never anticipated ever indulging in, but has certain been a big motivator and enabler in my sexual adventure. It has given me the confidence and fueled my desire to explore and push the limits.

I can't say that something like that would be for everyone - and, honestly, I'm thankful it's not.

Other things that come to mind, but may be best saved for a future blog, would include:

• Going to the swingers clubs ... that is way outside my comfort zone ...
• Finally finding the courage to turn my bi-curious status to bisexual ...
• My afternoon rendezvous with my Office Guy ... that is just something that I don't do, so for me that is beyond the limits.

 Having wrapped my brain around all of this though, the reality is I like the unusual side of life. It's what makes everything so interesting ... especially the sex!

Andee     xoxo

What Still Makes Me Blush?

I’d like to say that I started out with good intentions to make this a Formspring Friday kind of deal, but instead I chose to go with a question I had been asked that appealed more to the Fantasy Friday side of me. That said, I don’t think you’ll be disappointed that I made you wait until Monday for a good blog update about masturbation!

This one made me think for a while – mostly because in my ongoing sexual adventure, I have become very sex-positive and more aware of some of my own kinks. I definitely know that I have grown, matured so to speak, and gained a whole new outlook on who I am and what I want from my life both personally and sexually.

What is the one thing you have done sexually that still makes you blush when you think about it?

There are a lot of things that turn me on like crazy when I think back on them; from all the new experiences at the beginning of this, through to events like this past weekend when hubby and I went out on a hot date and did some naughty things. But there is one event that still makes me blush whenever I think back on it:

The first time I masturbated to orgasm in front of other people – who were in the room, not on webcam, or anything like that.

To me, as much as I love masturbating, it still is something that I consider to be a very personal and intimate act; even more so than having sex while another couple is in the room. The idea of the webcam shows still maintains a level of anonymity. It’s just another person watching me, but not really knowing who I really am – knowing the real person behind “Andee.” But to complete the act while others are right there, watching me bring myself to that point of no return; that is kinky.

The time that comes to mind is from when my husband and I were newly experimenting with the idea of soft swapping. We had become good friends with this couple, and over a few weeks and get-togethers, eventually made our way into the bedroom for some fun and games. And despite what all those steamy porn movies would like to have you believe otherwise, sex when there are more than two people involved doesn’t always reach a crescendo at the same time …

As all these wonderful new moments transpired among the four of us, things had reached a point where the wife of the other couple made her way back to giving her husband a blowjob. As I lay there watching, I started to touch myself – almost subconsciously – because it was the first time I had witnessed someone do that in person. It was an incredible turn on. As she got more into what she was doing, I got more and more into what I was doing.

In no time, I had completely lost myself in my own sensations, put my head back, closed my eyes and continued to masturbate. It never occurred to me that what I was doing was turning them on to the point where he came in her mouth, and then together watched as I played furiously with myself. It didn’t seem that it went on for all that long, but when I finally came down after what must have been my third orgasm in the evening, I looked over to see three smiling faces.

Later on my husband expressed how surprised he was over how much I had gotten into playing with myself, and he and the other couple loved watching me bring myself to orgasm.

To this day, thinking back on that still makes me blush. I guess partly because I have not been able to repeat the act, but also because of just how intimate something like that can be and sharing it was a huge leap for me.

Andee     xoxo

Thoughts On A Sexy Sunday Morning

Before I get too deep into this, I need to openly confess that this is a question that I borrowed from my blogging friends Jack and Jill at Frisky in the 916. You should check out their blog for a very intriguing blend of sex blogging and erotica.

This past Friday, they had answered a question on "Have you ever wanted to try something sexually but haven't? What is it and why?"

I found the question rather appealing, because for me it touches on: a) my favourite subject and, b) isn't necessarily about traditional fantasy, but alludes to a moment or opportunity that was there at one time and passed.

For me the answer is a bit of a Part One and Part Two response. There are two equally lust-worthy thoughts that come to mind when thinking of this.

In my experience, I have had come very close to fulfilling my desire to have a threesome a few different times. When my husband and I first dabbled with the idea of swinging, we met a couple that became good friends and shared our willingness to explore and experiment. The wife in the couple was the subject of my Friday blog.

And while we played around with this couple, we had all agreed that taking the fun to a full-swing situation was not where we were at emotionally at the time. We still had a lot of curious thoughts we needed to work through without pushing the limits too quickly. Fun is fun, but not at the expense of regret and damage to a marriage just because the alcohol-induced courage is a little higher when sexually stimulated.

Along those lines of achieving my desire for a MFM also sits the more recent Hotel Rendezvous with my Office Guy. The stage was definitely set for some incredible sexual adventure, but again the moment needed to develop in a nature way. My husband and I had agreed that, in the heat of the moment should my experience with my Office Guy reach the point of no return and having him give me a good, hard fuck, I would be allowed to enjoy it all - as long as I followed the appropriate rules of safe sex. In hindsight, I'm not sure how capable I would have been at rolling a condom onto his hard cock ... but everything played out in such a way that the oral sex we shared proved to be the pinnacle of the experience ... and hopefully opened the door for more exploring down the road.

The second part that comes to mind in this question goes back to the time when I was so close to answering my bisexual curiosities, but couldn't because my lustful partner and I had indulged just a lot too much that night. If you are a long time reader of mine, you will remember the blog about the weekend I spent at a work-related conference with a female coworker. At that time in my life I was just beginning to explore my sexuality in a bigger way. My husband had encouraged me to be more open about my desires, my fantasies, my sexuality and I was definitely enjoying where the path was leading me.

The details of the whole experience can be found in this entry - Bisexuality | When It All Came Out. But to finish my thoughts here, the moment I would love to have back is the chance to complete that flirtatious and tormenting evening with what I really wanted to do: fulfill the opportunity for a passionate night with her; no husbands, just her and I alone naked and not as drunk as we were on the night when it could have all come together.

Andee     xoxo

Sex | My First Time Between Her Legs

This week sure took its time coming to an end. I guess because it is our holiday weekend up here for Canada Day that made it seem to be even longer. Regardless, I just have today to put in and then off for three glorious days!

As I was trying to think about what naughtiness I could get up to this weekend, I figured a good place to start would be going back to something I haven’t done in quite some time. I have let some of my Formspring questions go by the wayside, and so today I am picking one of the more explicit ones to get your Friday really steamed up.

“What was it like for you when you first went down on another woman?”

Oh, wow … how can I put that experience in words? Other than “Oh, wow!”

I’ll be honest, I was feeling a huge mix of excitement, fear, horniness … and if I’m not mistaken, a healthy dose of alcohol-induced bravery.

The one thing that remains in my mind today is how much I enjoyed how she tasted. I think that tends to be people’s biggest initial fear when doing something orally sexual for the first time. And it’s hard to explain why I had that notion, as by the time the opportunity presented itself, I was very sexually experienced.

The erotic nature of the moment was also heightened by the fact that both our husbands were watching.

After a healthy amount of foreplay between all of us, and her having already gotten a very good taste of me, it was my turn to finally answer some of the curiosities I had in my mind. I followed the same kind of idea that my own partners have done in that same position, slowly working my way down her body until I was directly between her spread thighs. I gently touched her with my fingers at first, getting my first very close look at her pussy.

I teased her for just a minute with my fingers before edging in close enough to touch her with my tongue. I ran the tip along both side of her moist cunt before setting in on her swollen clit. It didn’t take long for my fear of the unknown to disappear and my curiosities to be confirmed – I loved every second of it.

The more I worked her over with her mouth, the more she moaned these sexy little moans, then grabbed at my head. All of a sudden I totally got why my husband loved it when I reacted in the same fashion.

By the end of the whole experience, I was dripping from burying my tongue deep into her. And in my own mind, I knew this was something I would remember fondly – and seek to repeat many times over.

Andee     xoxo

Sex | Seriously, It's Just A Number

Every now and then, I hear the occasional “bit of advice” about not asking about a person’s sexual history. I guess I am a bit of an unusual case because, honestly, I want to know … and please feel free to use some graphic descriptions. I see it as an important part of who my partner is. These were experiences that were real and important to them at a point in their life. On top of that, who’s to judge whether or not I might learn something from it that might help me bring them more happiness.

When I saw a few messages this week when I checked my email, I figured what would be better than to expose some intimate detail about my own history. So, here’s a Formspring Friday question that I certainly liked on the subject of sexual mileage:

Do you think your friends would guess that you have slept with more or less people than you actually have?

For anyone who knows me – the real me behind Andee – they would probably guess pretty darn close to the truth. My circle of close friends know my husband and I have been in a very committed relationship for a long time … 22 years, in fact. They also know my age, which when using simple math would tell them that I was pretty young when I started dating him. The assumption would be that, given my age when we started dating, it would have taken me out of the dating pool for part of high school and all of college.

Assuming I also behaved 100% while maintaining a long-distance relationship for almost two years.

Having said that, I think that a good number of them would under-guess the truth because they may not really know about some of the sexual antics that my hubby and I have enjoyed: assuming that we’re not going to say sex only has to be intercourse between a man and a woman. There have been a few very enjoyable nights and afternoons of healthy, sweaty sexual activity that just didn’t reach the point of traditional intercourse between me and another man.

So that might cloud the issue. I know that for some of my friends south of the border, there has been some debate on whether or not a little oral action qualifies as “sexual relations.” But what’s a blowjob or pussy-licking between friends, right?

And do women count as sexual partners?

Ooh, the depth of it all!

Now, I think that some of my other more casual friends and coworkers might over-estimate the number of sexual partners I have had, given the occasional flashes of sexual confidence that exude from me. And I’m sure that, based on the kind of things I do share with them about my marriage, they might think I have a bit of a track record of experience.

Regardless, I am a big believer in quality sexual relations over quantity.

So, just to make things a bit fun, I have decided to turn my blog poll into your chance to “guess” the number of sexual partners I have had. I’m going to leave it wide open for you and say that I personally consider oral sex to be sex … besides, it helps with the stats.

Once the poll is done, I’ll confess all to you … plus it gives me a week to pad the numbers just in case!

Andee     xoxo

Five Of This ... Five Of That

It’s one of those things I sometimes encounter when I am having a conversation with people who know about my dual life. Despite the reality of who I really am – and the so-not-what-you-think aspect of that – there are still a lot of assumptions that my life is so much more exciting and adventurous than it is.

My husband and I started this, as I have said more than a few times, as a way to grow together and experience what life could offer. Our inhibitions never really disappeared, just parts of our bravery emerged. And while my blog is the one place where I share all of that, I try hard not to bore you with the routine of being a regular woman … I hate the word “normal.” There are still many things I would love to experience in my life, and I have my doubts some of them will ever happen, but the journey is the purpose of it all.

And those things that don’t happen? That’s what dreams and fantasies are for.

A while ago I was chatting with a friend who knows both sides of my life and they made suggestion that they were interested in trying something new in life and, in a way, scoffed a little that I must think they were silly for wanting to, given the “experiences” I have. I was a little caught off guard at their assumption, but it got me to thinking about something I had been sent as part of a series of questions one of my usual “guys” wanted to know.

For the sake of making it more in tune with my blog, I’ve decided to dispel some of the myths in a collection of sexy haves and have nots in my life … so far.

5 things I have done that other people probably have not

1. The obvious – my website

While there are other women (and men) out there that have adult websites, I honestly believe that it does not rank high on the list of many people’s bucket lists. Out of everyone I know offline, none of them has one. And even though I am 10 years into having my own, I still struggle with the concept every now and then. Instead of looking at it as a guilty pleasure, it is more of pleasure that comes with some guilt.

2. Almost as obvious – sex videos … for sale

There are lots of things I’ve read about couples making their own sex videos … and probably anyone with a good camcorder has raised a curious eyebrow as a kinky idea popped into their head. But I can’t say there are a lot of people out there that make amateur sex videos for sale like we do. Sure, there’s a healthy, sexually-involved community surrounding the idea, but just don’t think it’s a leading activity on most people’s Saturday nights.

3. Danced topless

Something slightly tamer than the first two … and I am not talking about a quick little alcohol-inspired flash at some college bar. I am talking about honest-to-goodness “not a stitch above the waist” topless dance … on a few different occasions. The first time was at a club my husband and I used to go to, designed for people “in the lifestyle.” Another time was at a similar club, but with the woman half of a couple that we had met and hung out with a few times. She did have nice, small breasts … and the dances we shared were a lot of fun.

4. Had a foursome

Threesomes rank very high on people’s fantasy lists, yet most information I have seen on the reality behind the fantasy is that less than 10% of couples have actually shared the sheets with other people. That said, my experiences weren’t the earth-shattering MFM steamy, orgasmic wildness I would love to experience. They were some interesting moments in time with a couple of friends that opened the door to even more ideas of what I would like in my sexual adventure. And so, even with a foursome technically checked off, the fantasy remains very, very high on my bucket list of sexual desires. Not that I really have a bucket list, but damn I’d love the threesome/foursome/groupsome/gropesome again.

5. Share oral with a coworker

Wow … what to share here, other than “go read about it.”

5 things I haven't done that other people probably have

1. Gone skinny dipping

Yes, one of those simple summer activities of youth … yet I have never dropped the bikini and gone skinny dipping. Been naked in a few hot tubs, but never at the beach.

2. Had a one-night stand

This one torments me a little; in a way I’m proud that all of my sexual experiences have been the result of a stable relationship, but at the same time I wonder about the excitement and energy surrounding an unplanned, almost anonymous hook-up.

3. Had my heart truly broken

In this I mean that my relationships have all panned out the way they should. Any of them before my marriage ended with some disappointment, but not the weeks/months/years of doubt and emotional anguish of being “crushed” by their failure. In a way I hope to never add this to my list of experiences, but life is full of curveballs and there is no doubt that each and every one of us will go through relationship heartbreak of one form or another.

4. Smoked

There are some very strong reasons in my personal life as to why I have never – and will never – pick up a cigarette. I might admit to a tiny little experimentation with pot, but light years away from habitual – or even saying ‘experienced.’

5. Blind Date/Set-up Date/Online Date

Maybe a bit of a reach, because I know lots of people that have not been on “official” blind dates, but have been introduced to someone via “double dates” and “group dates.” My first few boyfriends were guys I knew from school. Then, when I was still a teenager, I met the man who would become my husband. We met on a soccer field … since then all my dates outside my relationship with him have been (as you saw above) foursomes and a delightful afternoon rendezvous.

So, there you go … a few more things I’m sure you absolutely were dying to know about me. I’m curious though. I wracked my brain on trying to figure out some of the sexy things that I have and have not done – what is there that I might have overlooked? What are some of the things you have done that you think others may not have? Would love to compare notes.

Andee xoxo 

Sex | Andee's Quick Six For Sex

One of the guys that emails me every now and then had asked if I would write some more sexy stuff … actually, if I would write more about actual sex. Given that it is one of my most favourite subjects, I have decided to dedicate today to some steamy, fast-paced, hike up the hem, do me quick sex.

With this in mind, I also took some liberties in assembling today’s fun because, as great as sex is, it can be a whole lot hotter when it happens in the most unusual locations … and maybe not so unusual if you are adventurous like me. I’ve picked what I consider realistic for me … you may have other ideas so feel free to share your own; I’m always game for getting some somewhere.

Andee’s Quick Six For Sex

1. The Bathroom

Normally this would rank as a “well, that’s not very unusual…” except what I mean is in the bathroom – at a party. And preferably one you are not hosting. Could be hotter if you managed to do this with, say, someone other than your traditional partner? I’m not advocating infidelity, but let the fantasy stand as something steamy, fast and almost anonymous. My kind of quickie ... with the right person!

2. The Washroom

I can never remember if my American friends call them washrooms or restrooms, but I’m thinking the office loo: slip away for a mid-afternoon interlude where he slips it out of his suit pants and under the hem of my pencil skirt. I can’t tell you how many of my own personal fuck fantasies touch on this one. The fact my husband encourages me to test my fashion sense with sexy stockings and garters hasn’t helped cool the heat here either.

3. Hotel Hot Tub

Yes, there is a certain ick factor here, because if you are busy sliding it into me while I am sitting on your lap, it probably means someone else has thought of the same thing … and I’m not sure when the pool staff changed the water. Anyway, I can’t tell you how horny it makes me when I am in the hot tub and there are people around…and then someone (ok, my husband … mostly) slides a hand down between my legs and under the seam of my bathing suit. A mixture of voyeurism, exhibitionism and hormones can be very explosive.

4. Highway Rest Stop

Sure, a bit cliché … but a lot more exciting than getting hot and bothered in the backseat on a secluded country road. Rest areas are generally busy … and patrolled. Just how quick can you draw that pistol cowboy; the sheriff might not be far behind!

5. A Walk In The Park

I love sex outdoors. There is something more free and naughty about doing it in wide open spaces. Lest we think I’m talking about the playground … there is something erotic about going for a nice little trail hike and instead of getting off the beaten track, why let me get you off! The hiking boots may not be as sexy as those date-night stilettos, but you’ll soon overlook my fashion faux pas.

6. Corridor Club

As far as I know, and I’m willing to be naïve here, this is one that seems to be fairly unique to where I live. Much like the famous Mile High Club, the Corridor Club involves two horny people getting it on in the toilet of public transportation. On the upside, some of the train cars on my commuter train have large enough space to accommodate two people in an almost comfortable quickie position – unlike airplane toilets.

Bonus:

My Best Quickie

At first I thought I would need to think about this for a long time, but there is one example of quickie sex that still stands out in my mind as the hottest so far.

During the early days of my sexual adventure, my husband and I explored the idea of “swinging” and what it might be like to find another couple to join us in the bedroom. After a bit of research, we found a lifestyle club not far from where we lived, booked our tickets for one of the dances and set about trying to calm the nerves over making the leap. We had no idea what to expect, and the days leading up to it were filled with a mixture of sexual excitement and downright fear.

FROM THE ACTUAL NIGHT

On the night in question, we headed out … and upon arrival at the club, proceeded to drive around the block a couple times to build up our courage to actually go inside. Once we did, we realized how silly all our notions had been as the club turned out to be pretty much a regular club – except everyone was so much more intriguing. There were people in just about any state of dress you can imagine. Mostly, we were riveted to this one woman with a killer body wearing nothing but high heels and a white thong. Wow, she was sexy. I was amazed at how comfortable and sexually confident she was at being so … exposed.

Watching her dance was definitely a turn-on … and then later in the evening, we sat and watched as she went down on her girlfriend at their table while the guys they were with sat back so nonchalantly. I couldn’t tear my eyes away.

Anyway, my husband and I took to the dance floor, and after a few songs, we had soon “forgotten” about everyone around us. A really sexy slow song came on, and we just kind of danced and kissed through the whole thing. As we did, my husband slipped my dress off my shoulders and down to my waist. I was there on the dance floor with my breasts complete exposed. It was exhilarating and scary at the same time.

By the time we had to leave to go home, both of us were so incredibly horny. I stripped off my panties in the front seat of the car and proceeded to finger myself to orgasm twice. I thought for sure my husband would drive off the road. Instead, he found a secluded back road and pulled over at the edge of a cornfield. Since it was summer time, and a beautiful evening, we slipped around to the back of the car and he hiked up my dress from behind, unzipped his pants and pounded me hard.

The next morning, when I went outside, I could see my hand prints on the hatch of the car … I left them there as long as Mother Nature let me as a reminder of that night. I still get a little horny anytime I have to drive past a cornfield!

Andee     xoxo

Panties | Laundry List of Bare Necessities

Yesterday I wrote about those naughty little moments when you guys steal an upskirt peek at my panties. One of my readers asked what about the same thing sans knickers.

A few weeks ago, I did write about the few times when I spoiled the panty raids, but for the most part those were the occasions when I started out with panties and finished the evening commando. In all honesty, going without is not something that I do very often. As hot and sexy as it sounds, like so many other things in life, reality just doesn’t measure up.

But I promised I would write about the times when my free spirit has been exposed.

Intentionally Bare

A Friend’s Wedding

I had picked out this amazing LBD for a friend’s wedding and as I was getting ready, I realized just how form-fitting it really was. After trying a few different pairs of panties, I came to the realization that even my best “seamless” ones still wouldn’t cut the mustard. And there was no way I was going out with serious VPLs. With the clock ticking, I figured the only real solution was to let the dress work its magic and I went without.

My hubby, always the opportunist, spent a great deal of the day sliding his hand across my butt cheeks and trying to find the perfect angle to snap a few pics with his camera. And having his hand stroking my knee and inching up the flesh of my thighs ... later he got to have his way with me in just my heels.

A Swing Club Date

A few years ago, my husband and I were experimenting with our ideas on swinging and finding another couple that we could have some fun with in the bedroom. We arranged to meet some new friends at one of the lifestyle clubs that we occasionally go to. I picked out a nice miniskirt and sexy sheer white top – with no bra – as my outfit for the night. I figured since the bra was gone, there was no sense in wearing any panties either.

I can assure you that my husband spent an awful lot of the night with his hand up my skirt and his fingers in my pussy ... at least I think it was him! ;-)

An Almost Wholesome Date

During the early days when my husband and I were dating, he had bought me a suede skirt. He has always said how much he enjoys it when I wear a skirt or dress, and this wasn’t much different from that. Hey, if you want to see me in the stuff, why not get me what fuels your fire! It worked to his advantage, as I slipped it on for one of our date nights … and let him slip into me later on.

High School

Some crazy things just happen because I tend to be stubborn and would never back down from a dare … well, within reason. I doubt anyone ever noticed, as I was young, naughty and not willing to tarnish a decent reputation. But geez, we fucked later that day. Can’t remember if I took my skirt off or not.

My Fun Effort

Every now and then I like to remind my hubby that technically, I was not wearing panties on our very first date. As much fun as that sounds, I was far from going commando as I was wearing my bikini. We went to the beach.

My ‘Wisp’ List

Night Out Surprise

I’m not against the idea of going commando, I just need the opportunity that is going to be a really sexy and fun experience. Not too long ago, I was telling my husband that it was something that I do think about as a little ‘fantasy’ that can be easily achievable.

Now then, that said, it would be something much more exciting if I was the only one who knew about it. And it would have to be somewhere that would allow me a very lengthy night of teasing and tormenting. Starting somewhere like a romantic restaurant, and I could tease him by saying there was more fabric to the napkin than under my dress. Maybe we would go to a dance club or the casino where there would be lots of sitting (perfect upskirt opportunities), dancing (if you spin just the right way, the hem will swing just high enough) and physical contact (I want his hands all over my body once he knows)

Playing Hostess For Hubby’s Beer League Buddies

OK, not so much about having all his buddies getting a peek, but the fantasy of slipping on a sexy little denim mini – or maybe the camo skirt from this week’s Miniskirt Monday and whispering in his ear after I bring out some snacks for the guys that it’s not just camouflage, but full commando. I wonder how late the guys might stay that night?

Or maybe I would see how much I could tease all of them by hanging out the laundry on the clothesline while they’re enjoying their cold ones in the backyard. Of course, it would only be my laciest and sexiest delicates that would need to dry. Can’t have wet panties!

And since this is fantasy fun, maybe he might even have some guys on the team that aren’t your typical beer-leaguers. Some nicely-built pals that would do anything to help a girl out around the house when they visit! Like help her out of that miniskirt.

Work

Out of all the easiest opportunities, this is the one that is also the hardest for me to make the leap. It’s not just about spending the day in a flirty skirt, and perhaps doing my best Sharon Stone impression at the lunch table while my Office Guys sat a few tables away drooling onto their sandwiches. The idea of tormenting the guys is something devilishly exciting for me.

But, given my flirtations and extra-curricular afternoon back in March with my Office Guy, I also realize that doing something as simplistically naughty as going commando – one minute alone could prove to be way more dangerous than it should be. And I don’t mean dangerous in a bad way, but in such a way that physical desire might overheat our mutual ability to recognize there are certain acceptable limits in this increasingly complicated relationship we share.

I shudder to think just where the naughtiness might take us should he manage to get not just a peek, but a not-so-quick touch of my bare pussy with those long fingers ... again.

So, there you go, my not so frequent attempts to save myself some laundry ... but certainly something for a dirty mind!

Andee     xoxo

Sex | Am I Really That Good In Bed

I think this is one of those age-old questions where there might not be a truly definitive answer, but it was something that came up recently in a conversation. And to a certain degree, it is something that I truly wonder about ... even more so because of some of the things that have occurred in my sexual adventure.

How do you know you are good in bed?

Personally, I'm not exactly sure how you would measure this. There are no academic tests with percentage results. Although if there was, I hope they didn't grade on a bell curve. But I do suppose there is no shortage of advice on how to improve your love life, between books, blogs and how to drive your man wild workshops.

And, to be honest, I have read, written and attended such love life improvers - all in pursuit of fun, excitement and curiosity.

I'm pretty lucky in that my partner frequently compliments some of the sexual talents I employ in our bedroom sessions (and other places). Apart from the importance of letting your partner know that they are bringing you satisfaction and pleasure, it's also delightfully ego-boosting to hear. Even more so if you ever want the act repeated.

But even with that regular reassurance, it's human nature to wonder about whether or not that is something your partner says because they are your partner, or if you really possess incredible lovemaking skills.

It seems almost too basic to say: if you are turned on and capable of reaching orgasm, then you must be good. Sex can be two things - selfish or rewarding. To me, being good in bed means that each moment is rewarding. Each time becomes an experience that advances and enhances the relationship, even if the actual sexual goings on at the time are complicated.

This is where two key things come into play: communication and experience.

The first one is easy. Any good relationship needs both people to be honest, open and willing when it comes to talking about all the things that stoke our fires. If you can't share your likes and dislikes, then you already face a pretty big obstacle in being good in bed. Your partner will never be able to turn the intimacy into a mind-blowing connection if they don't have any clue as to what goes on in your mind.

The second element is tougher. Most people believe that experience is something that comes down to the physical number of sexual partners one has had in life. And that's a fair assumption. But experience also comes from the constant level of intimacy you can have with one partner - and an open mind.

A penis is a penis and a vagina is a vagina. You can a 1,000 lovers and still end up with only a little experience. Sure, you will have a lot of mileage, but if the scenery never changes, what's the point. On the other hand, you can have 10 lovers and have a wealth of experience because each of you have shared on a deeper level, challenged your limits and explored the height of passion together.

Numbers don't always reveal the truth.

I have not had a lot of lovers in my life. In fact, if I was to admit the truth, you would only need one hand. But, I personally think I have a tremendous experience because of how I have been able to explore and grow from the moments that I have had.

But I have also long-wondered if I was a good sexual partner, or if my husband was just stroking my ego in return for me stroking his erection. After being with someone for over 20 years, you have already learned a great deal about each other's sexual momentum. You develop a synchronicity and almost subconsciously know what it takes to press the right buttons.

Now, that is not suggesting routine and boredom. It just means you reach the point of being on the same level with your partner.

So, where that leaves me is at the point of exploration. I am very lucky to have a husband that has allowed me to open the sexual doors outside of our marriage - with agreeable conditions - in order for me to gain an honest answer. Because I am dying to know if I am as good as he claims I am.

Andee     xoxo