TMI Tuesday | Playing With Myself

So, today marks the start of another new 'journey' for me. I am now officially in my 40th year, which means I have an awful lot of ground to cover in the next 365 days so that I can hit my 40th birthday looking all that much more sexually confident, physically fit and smashingly glamourous.

And, that also means that I may actually have a bit of a renewed ambition when it comes to making certain desires, wants and fantasies come to life. Or at least writing all about them!

And now, on to all that information that you just can't get enough of every TMI Tuesday ...

1. My favorite place to masturbate is _____ ?
Yeah, not as kinky as you might believe, but my favourite place to masturbate is in my own bed. That way, when all is said an done and my heart is done racing from the sexual build-up and release, I love to curl up and fall asleep. Masturbating is an amazing way for me to relax before bedtime - and helps take my mind away from the stresses of the day.

2. Have you ever masturbated in public? What were the circumstances?
Not sure; my answer is a bit of a 'sort of.' I wrote about it before: it was a couple years ago and my husband and I were on our way home from one of those sex trade shows in the city. We were downtown and the traffic was crazy. I had already slipped off my panties back at the convention centre and figured since we were going to be sitting in the car for a bit that I would give my new sex toy a little test drive of it's own. I simply pulled up the hem of my skirt, positioned myself accordingly and let the brand new batteries take me to euphoria of a roadgasm - plus give my hubby and amazing tease and scene.

It was equally erotic as people were walking past on the sidewalks only a couple feet away from our vehicle. I remember that was one amazing orgasm ... the sensation of a new toy mixed with the excitement of being in a crowded space.

3. Do you like mutual masturbation? Why?
Yes and no, but for all really good reasons. I love it because there is something very erotic for me in watching and being there while someone is pleasuring themselves. And sharing that moment with someone has an erotic sense of vulnerability. It's opening yourself up to a very different sexual experience.

No, because it's rare that I can allow myself to wait it out. Mutual moments like that generally end up in full-out sex ... not that full-out sex is a bad thing; it just means an end to the masturbation portion of the evening. There are lots of occasions when masturbation becomes a conclusion for me, as well. I'm one of those women that does need a little extra help to reach orgasm.

4. When was the last time you masturbated?
I'm writing my answers on Monday night as we wait for the Leafs-Bruins hockey game to start ... I masturbated on Monday morning shortly after shooting some new photos for my website - 'cause a girl can get rather turned-on posing in new lingerie that a friend sent for her to wear; all that touching my breasts and playing with my pussy while my husband snaps photos. Yep, I think I might masturbate again tonight.

5. Have you ever masturbated on camera?
Yes ... for both recorded video and on webcam. I still make new recorded videos every now and then for purposes other than just adding a bit of kink to my sex life. I mean, why keep the fun all to myself, and since I have received a few requests along the way from guys who want to watch ...

6. Do you like to watch people masturbate?
Call me kinky, but I love watching another person pleasuring themselves. I have had the wonderful opportunity to watch a couple men do that in front of me in person - and good lord, it's a massive turn-on for me. I would love to have the same opportunity with another woman. I have watched on camera and amateur videos, but not while I was right there just a couple feet away as she brought herself to orgasm. Now that would be yummy ...

BONUS: Have you filmed yourself masturbating? Care to share that film via a link?
Take your pick ... follow the video button and you can find several different videos of me masturbating, and a couple in which someone else does all the work on me!

Andee     xoxo

30 Random Things For A Friday

Like a few other updates that have happened over the past few days, this one has its roots in a previous blog that I wrote on a different site. I think it’s still kind of fun and covers off a whole whack of “too much information” about me.

I thought this might be something light and fun for a Friday. You have probably seen a few of these “random facts” blogs, so I hope it’s not too boring. If nothing else, if it spurs you to ponder any curious questions about me, please send them my way. I am always looking for new ways to involve you in my blog, and also to write about ideas, topics and interests that appeal to you. Otherwise you are just stuck inside my own head – and that can be a dangerous place to find yourself on the best of days!

1) Single, Taken, or Crushing?
Married, quite happily! But occasionally playful in the right moments!

2) Are you happy with where you are?
Extremely, except for financially, but isn't that the case with most people?

3) When you meet the right person, do you fall fast?
No, I tend to be a bit more coy and cautious.

4) Have you ever had your heart broken?
Yes ... and more than once.

5) Do you believe that there are certain circumstances where cheating is ok?
No, but with good communication and a mutual adventurous spirit, why cheat on your partner when you can explore together! ;-)

6) Would you ever take someone back if they cheated on you?
No. I would struggle to regain the trust and I think that would prevent the relationship from healing.

7) Have you talked about marriage with another person?
Several times ... but I am married after all.

8) Do you want children?
I already have two. Now we’re trying to adopt a dog.

9) How many?
The two I already have. Unless you meant the dog, then we will just stick with the one.

10) Would you consider adoption?
Yes. Especially of the dog.

11) If somebody liked you right now, what do you think is a cool way to let you know?
Be straightforward, talking is always a good thing. As I get older, the more I recognize that “games” can quickly get off track. If you want an adult relationship, start out by being an adult. Save the games for between the sheets when everyone is horny and naked.

12) Do you enjoy playing hard to get?
Am I hard to get? Hmmm ... I really prefer to play getting it hard.

13) Be honest, do you play the "game" when you are dating?
Completely. But most of my dates are with my husband, so it’s very safe to play the “game.” Fun, even. Especially when he is creative with the plans for the night!

14) Do you believe love at first sight exists?
Yes.

15) Are you romantic?
Extremely.

16) Do you believe that you can change someone?
I believe you can ... but more times than not, I have seen it for the worse and not the better.

17) If you could get married anywhere, money not an object where would it be?
In some incredible European castle.

18) Do you have feelings for someone right now?
Yes. Some of them are even good.

19) Have you ever wished you could've had someone but you couldn't?
Yes.

20) Have you ever broken a heart?
Honestly, I don't know.

21) Would you ever fight somebody over your significant other?
You wanna piece of me? But quite honestly, our relationship is such a way that I would rather just hold the camera and watch intently.

22) What would you say about your last ex?
Where's a speeding bus when you need one?

23) Favorite sex position?
Well, seriously ... do I need to pick just one? Anytime I'm getting some is a favourite position. But if I really need to pick just one, I'll say doggy style 'cause it feels so good and deep.

24) What turns you on the most?
The first thing I notice about a man that I have just met would be his hands. Then his smile. On a deeper note, I get turned on by a guy who can make me laugh, smile and appreciates my twisted sense of humour. Finally, if he gets the chance to bed me ... those hands better live up to all the expectations in my imagination! ;-)

25) Does size matter?
Sorry, but yes. But maybe not quite like what many guys think. Truth is, while I have never been with a guy like this, but too big can be a bad thing. You want something that fits, feels good. But having said that, no matter what, the guy needs to know how to use what he has.

26) Most times in one day?
Six

27) Most orgasms in one session?
I'm usually good for two, but then after that things tend to get a little numb as I am one of those women that needs a little extra help getting there.

27) What do you think about during sex?
Depends on the sex and the partner. Mostly I think about the sensations I'm feeling at the moment, and perhaps the events that led up to getting into that position. Rarely does my own mind wander away from what is really going on.

28) Ever had a threesome?
No, but I have had a foursome with my husband and another couple. That said, a MFM encounter is very high on my list of desires – and something I am working actively on achieving.

29) How often do you masturbate?
Four to five times per week if I'm getting regular sex that week. But like everyone else, some weeks the motivation just isn’t there, and others the motivation is really there!

30) Do you like oral?
Yes, I've been told it's one of my better bedroom skills by more than one guy ... and girl. In fact, I’ve blogged at length about it …

Anyway, hope you enjoy this little tongue and cheek bit of TMI for this week.

Andee     xoxo

 

Sex | What I Like In Porn

Had you asked me a dozen years ago if I ever imagined myself being even remotely involved in the “adult entertainment business,” I would have scoffed and said “not a chance.” Obviously, with the passing of a few years, my thoughts on that have changed dramatically.

I don’t think many women ever grow up dreaming to be in porn; although I suspect more than a few of the younger generation are much more willing to exploit it for what they can these days.

That said, I still don’t consider myself to be a “porn star” of any kind. Quite honestly, I’m just a “girl-next-door” with a slightly kinky and anonymously public hobby. And some days I’m not sure that we’re even really remarkable at doing that much. My website isn’t exceptionally dynamic – the images and some of the content I post there are unique to me, but I know there are other sites offering way more than I do. I guess how I do see my site is that you get the chance to slip away from the “air-brushed perfection” of most Playboy models and get to see the reality of a very normal Canadian woman.

That is really the premise of “amateur porn.” Yes, as a model my hobby does bring in a little extra disposable income; but trust me, there are no plans for me to retire to the glamourous shores of southern France. Amateur porn has certain grown in popularity and availability thanks to the Internet. And technology has also helped improve the quality of what we can offer. My very first “naughty” photos ever taken were on the “hush hush” platform of Polaroid!

And so, from a model and participants perspective, I have been able to see how the secret world of Internet porn has changed over the past several years.

As I get to know a few of my fans – and truly some have become longtime online friends – the question seems to occasionally come back to me about the kind of “porn” that captures my attention from the “consumer” side.

I was in my teens when I first saw any mainstream porn. My parents were among the first to install one of the original satellite dishes, and with the programming package came Playboy TV. My brother certainly was thrilled! And, I don’t mind admitting that I also enjoyed some of the shows from a “curious” perspective. I certainly saw a lot of things that made me go “hmm” and even a few that made me go “mmm.”

But as I grew up, and became more sexually open and adventurous, mainstream porn didn’t really appeal to me. Like a lot of women, I found it was generally about some fake-titted blonde getting hammered by all kinds of men over the span of about 90 minutes. After about five minutes, even the best of these “epics” tend to become routine. I wanted something that had a plot – or at least something close to a plot.

What I wanted from porn was something to engage my imagination. As much as I would like to think getting pounded by six different guys on the office desk would be sexually fun, watching an actress fake her way through 90 minutes of supposedly amazing sex just for the sake of getting pounded by six different guys in black socks doesn’t capture my imagination.

I then discovered a whole new line of porn, made by women for women. The getting pounded on the office desk scenario came with a story that helped set the stage for a fantasy I could almost believe in.

And that’s really where I want my porn to go … I love watching the sex, but I want to enjoy a little mind fuck along the way. I want to know how and why she ends up on the desk, and what is it that makes her lust for that moment. Women need to have that level of attachment to the moment – we need to be able to imagine ourselves in that setting, and we need to understand the reasons behind it. We don’t want to be just a receptacle for a bunch of muscled male actors who never seem to understand that leaving your socks on for sex looks damn silly.

Andee     xoxo

What's So Unusual About Stockings

For some guys, today is a pretty special day - it's National Stockings Day in England, a day sponsored by Charnos Hosiery designed to raise awareness and money for breast cancer awareness. For anyone who is interested in following my own antics for the day, catch up with me on Twitter. I have a few really sexy stockings pics that will be posted throughout the day to help make it a bit more interesting for you.

Of course, the idea of me wearing stockings also fits into today's blog theme - something that popped up a while back in my Formspring questions.

What is the most unusual sexual experience you’ve ever had?

Are stockings really that unusual? Probably not for a lot of people; and really not so much for me when we just consider wearing them for something like my website or to make a video for you. But for me to push the limits of my comfort zone and introduce them as part of my work-related wardrobe ... that was exceptionally unusual (and sexual) for me.

If you remember back to what I wrote at the time, I think it really still sums up my thoughts:

One morning, I woke up before my husband, walked into the bathroom and proceeded to get ready for my day at work. Like I often do, I had set out my outfit for the day, so that I wouldn't need to disturb him while he slept. I found a little note from him stuck inside the dress I was planning to wear, along with the stockings and garterbelt. The whole thing was worth it the moment my husband walked into the kitchen to say goodbye to me before I left for the day.

I know my husband loves me, and we have an awful lot of fun together both in and out of the bedroom, but there is nothing that can mask true lustful surprise on a man's face. It's a look that goes right to my heart and knees ... and ego. After over 20 years of being together, there aren't many times left when I can see that sincere expression of delighted shock and desire. It was like watching a kid at Christmas.

Later in the day, when I revealed my fashion leap to my Office Guy the first time, his reaction was equally incredible. To stand just a few feet away from him and do the seductive hiking up of my hem, to see his eyes light up and just stare in amazement was an amazing turn-on for me. Then to allow him to touch and fondle ... still a prominent masturbation memory.

Of course, almost all of what opened the door on this was one of the other most unusual sexual experiences in my life: having an adult website ...

This is something that I would have never anticipated ever indulging in, but has certain been a big motivator and enabler in my sexual adventure. It has given me the confidence and fueled my desire to explore and push the limits.

I can't say that something like that would be for everyone - and, honestly, I'm thankful it's not.

Other things that come to mind, but may be best saved for a future blog, would include:

• Going to the swingers clubs ... that is way outside my comfort zone ...
• Finally finding the courage to turn my bi-curious status to bisexual ...
• My afternoon rendezvous with my Office Guy ... that is just something that I don't do, so for me that is beyond the limits.

 Having wrapped my brain around all of this though, the reality is I like the unusual side of life. It's what makes everything so interesting ... especially the sex!

Andee     xoxo

The Thoughts That Swirl Around

One of the questions that landed in my email recently kind of got me thinking. The person who sent it asked me if I ever fantasize about my website members, like they fantasize about me.

I guess the first answer is: I’m thankful some of you consider me fantasy material. I love bringing my crazy little world to you, and just appreciate knowing you are enjoying it.

My fantasies tend to fluctuate, as you have seen over the past two years of me sharing on my blog and the past 10 years on my Southern Charms site. Some I have been lucky to explore and turn into realities, while others are simply good ideas floating around in my imagination. And that’s probably not that different from many others – life experience tends to bring new ideas, desires and intrigue to a person.

I can’t say I have ever specifically fantasized about random men that may have sent me a sexy email or naughty IM. There have been guys who have been online friends – people I have chatted with, and in the beginning, a few guys I webcammed with – that I have shared a slightly more intimate experience with online. At the time, those experiences were a great deal of fun. My exposure to the more sexual side of the internet was new, fresh and helped fill both my time and imagination at point in my life when I needed some distraction.

But, like a lot of things, it became a bit “routine” and the excitement waned. New experiences took their place and I was off on a new direction in my sexual adventure.

The intriguing thoughts that still occasionally pop into my mind are more about the fun and pleasure that I hope my members – and readers here, as well – are having thanks to my efforts. I find it quite exciting and ego-boosting to think that I can still turn some men on with the kind of things I do online. If you knew the real me behind Andee, you would quickly see that I’m not a vain person, so doing the photos and videos are still, even after 10 years, a big stretch for me. I tend to see the flaws more than the fantasy.

But I won’t deny that I enjoy knowing the reaction those things produce. I believe that all women, on some level, like the idea of being sexually desirable; even if some of the more staunch feminists and anti-pornographers say the whole concept is disgusting.

The other part of my kink that this appeals to is the fact that I love watching a man pleasure himself. Seeing a man in all his erect glory, utterly turned on and stroking for all he is worth is exceptionally erotic. And why not? I know a lot of men like watching us masturbate. Goodness, there’s a whole billion dollar industry built around gadgets intended to help women reach orgasms.

Andee     xoxo

Sex | A Favourite Fetish

This is probably one topic that could keep going around and around as I get deeper and deeper into my sexual adventure. And while it has been a marvelous 10 years of exploring, gradually experimenting and experiencing new things, I am continually amazed at both what I learn from other people in terms of fetishes, and how my own kinks and sexual quirks seemingly evolve along the way.

I can't say that any of mine border even close to some of those truly outrageous requests I have gotten through my website and videos over the past decade ... some of which still leave me scratching my head. I think mine are relatively tame and yet still sexy enough to be intriguing and maybe a bit unusual among my offline circle of friends. Naturally, I am making a bit of an assumption there, as I don't really know what goes on behind their bedroom doors.

So when this Formspring question made an appearance, I thought "I have an answer to that!"

What is one of your favourite fetishes, and why?

Quite a while back I wrote about how I was learning to really understand what it is men like about women in stockings. For photographic reasons, I was quite comfortable with wearing them, along with the more modern version, thigh highs. But other than my wedding day, and a few steamy date nights, I had not really explored the idea of wearing hosiery as such, as part of my office attire.

And while it is something that always proves to be a worthwhile fashion choice - given the reactions it produces at home and at work - like all good fetishes, moderation is the key in keeping it exciting and erotic each time. I think if I wore them everyday, or at least every time I dressed up for work or a date, it may get a little too expected. Part of why it is a favourite fetish is the reaction of the guys, not just the ideas in my own mind.

I have definitely come to appreciate the sideways glances, and occasional downright stare, that I get from the guys I work with. Unlike some women who might see that as a precursor to sexual harassment, I'm thrilled - and somewhat turned on - but the knowledge that they consider me worthy of their lusty looks. I certainly can't complain when the whole idea is very much planned and expected on my behalf.

I think that is a big part of why I see it as being different from being "objectified." I set out with a teasing, flirting scheme in mind ... trying to be coy on my own to catch the men around me sneaking a peek. And if our eyes happen to meet, I try to give them a knowing little look that says I'm thrilled they noticed and flattered.

And even though the guys may never know if there is a garter belt holding those stockings up, or if I'm jammed into some tortuous control tops, I can't say I get the same personal feelings from pantyhose ... they are just something that I could never feel comfortable in. But stockings, and the occasional romp in thigh highs, make me feel sexy and attractive.

That's why right now, they are among my favourite fetishes. And, if you really like to see how it plays out, don't miss my latest update ... it's exactly what this blog is all about!

Andee     xoxo

The Best (Sex) Decision I Ever Made

Seriously, I can't say enough about how happy I am to reach the end of the week. This has been another crazy one for me; but given that we're in the middle of prime vacation season, it's no wonder things at work are blowing like a summer thunderstorm.

I have found myself lost in thought about the direction of my sexual adventure. A few things out of my control have slowed some of my plans, while a couple of other discoveries have left me feeling somewhat intrigued. Confusing, yet still quite enjoyable.

My desire is that this summer will bring some new sexual experiences. Although some have left me panting with desire, I remain hopeful some others can still become a reality.

Anyway, when this question was asked by my darling hubby the other day, it gave me the opportunity to slip back into some of the dark corners of my imagination and dig through my past to come up with a good answer for him ... and you.

Which has been the best decision you ever made sexually?

Other than marrying my husband ... I would have to say starting my website. It is definitely one of the most unique decisions I have made in relation to my sex life. It's certainly not something that everyone can say they have done. It has also been a huge motivator for me to discover a much deeper sense of who I am as a sexual person, and opened a lot of doors that have allowed me to do so.

Like most women I know - at least those who have been willing to share - decisions such as losing my virginity were not among the best. Made during the peak of teenage hormones and a desire to be "accepted" among my peers, it wasn't the best of experiences. Frankly, I wish I had waited. I don't necessarily regret that moment, but I was so young and naive ... and it took me a long time to get over some of the emotional residue from that relationship.

My website has allowed me to find my sexual groove with a great deal of openness. It has forced my husband and I to be more creative with our sexual desires, ideas and experiences. Instead of hiding some of our kinks and sexual quirks, we found a way to share them and discuss them ... heck, even videotape some of them. For all the "vanilla" that remains in my real life, the escape into being "Andee" and the freedom that comes with it has become a big key in the success of our marriage.

When you are creating fantasies for other people, it has forces you to not be spectators in life. In a way, it brings a responsibility to open the imaginations of all those people who come along with us in the adventure. I can't tell you how many hours of fun I have had as a result of my site that I may not have had otherwise ... plus where it led in terms of exploring so many of my own fantasies.

Andee     xoxo

 

TMI Tuesday | Pain & Humiliation

Unless you have been living in a straw shack in the forest for the past few months, you'll know that it's been virtually impossible to escape the literary phenomenon that is Fifty Shades of Grey. The book, and you already know my take on it's literary value, has dominated conversations from coast to coast and beyond – plus raised a new interest in people exploring their sexual fantasies.

For me, personally, the book did provide a pleasant distraction from the realities around me ... but I also tend to be a voracious reader and power through a book in a matter of days. I can't say the subject matter in the E.L. James trilogy changed my mind about the world of submission and domination, but it wasn't completely uninspiring for a few fun experiences in the bedroom – and a new set of wrist restraints from my hubby.

Anyway, in keeping with those thoughts, this week our TMI Tuesday theme touches on the world of bdsm, pain, and humiliation ... a la Fifty Shades.

1. I enjoy the idea that my partner want to inflict pain on me that:

    a. Makes me curious

    b. Is titillating and sexually arousing

    c. That leaves me screaming and/or crying because that’s the way I like it

If any, I would lean towards b), titillating and sexually arousing. I think I’m just a little beyond the “curious” stage in my sexual experience – which has also firmly placed me in the category of not being someone who gets off on any kind of sex act that involves screaming in pain or crying.

I think a consensual level of restraint and force can be erotic and exciting … perhaps a hint of spanking harder than a love tap, biting in the right spots and the right moments. One of my more popular videos – Sex Toy Punishment – hints at forced, not-exactly-consensual sex. And not that long ago, I blogged about my fantasy to be “forced” into sex; but right now there are some issues with my partner in fantasy crimes over his beliefs on being aggressive in such a fashion. Most days his thoughtful and gentlemanly nature is a virtue … but there’s the occasional day I wouldn’t mind him being a forceful sexual deviant. Just for fun, of course.

2. Do you like being forced to dress or act in a way that is humiliating? If yes, please describe. If no, why not?

Humiliation has never been anything of a turn-on for me. Outside of my sexual adventure and the fun stuff I escape to on here, I have spent the better part of my oldest son's academic life dealing with continued bullying. And when you see just how much the actions of others can tear another person down for no reason other than to make themselves appear better, you recognize that nothing positive comes from it. So when I see someone who is being subjected to verbal abuse, degradation and ridicule – even in the realm of sexual excitement – it upsets me terribly. In my own personal space, sex is meant to build someone up; to boost their confidence, share sense of intimacy and stoke the fires of passion and desire. So, with that in mind, to erode someone’s self-esteem at the expense of some twisted sexual game has just never been my thing.

3. Do you like seeing bruises, scars or marks that were caused during sex on either you or your partner? What kind of marks?

Along the same lines of emotional pain, physical pain is just not a sexual delight for me. Even as a teenager, I always found the “badges of lust” such as hickeys to be a little off-putting. Thankfully I never really dated anyone that found them to be part of the “rites of passage” in youthful passion.

Personally, outside of maybe the occasional mishap, and one time when the handcuffs were too tight for too long, the only sexual marks I can think of that had any lasting visibility was some rug burn … on my knees … use your imagination from here on in.

4. Would you liked to be forced to do sexual things that you don’t necessarily like to do? Yes or no?

I think it all depends on the situation, and to the degree of “sexual things.” Is it something that is going to challenge the limits of my relationship and trust with my partner? Then no. In reality, my mind has to be into the whole moment – even with some of those things that don’t rank high on my list of orgasm-inducing interludes.

5. Do you want to be forced to watch your lover with someone else? Yes, no, or it depends.

I think this is probably one of the kinky areas of my sexual psyche that I am willing to explore and accept quite openly. The downside is that it wouldn’t be all that “forced” because I would love to see my husband with another woman. And having said that, I am extremely confident in saying I don’t have to worry about being forced to watch him with another man – neither of us are into the male-on-male scene.

I have a fun fantasy about being restrained in a chair set beside the bed and only being able to watch as he and another woman have sex. I get exceptionally turned on by the idea of watching him do all kinds of naughty things to her, and her doing all kinds of naughty things to him … maybe every now and then they stop doing what they are doing and force me to have a taste or one of them gives me a wet, deep tongue kiss right after they have been giving the other person some oral. Yowza, serious masturbatory moments in those thoughts.

6. What dirty (sometimes inappropriate) things do you like to say to your sexual partner?

I can’t honestly say that our sex talk goes anywhere particularly inappropriate. We both love to mind fuck with each other while we are in the moment, but more times than not, it involves the sexual fantasies we have shared openly with each other. Name calling is very rare – again because we both view sex as being something to build up each other, and to recognize the passions, desires and naughty thoughts we have. It’s just never been our thing to degrade or belittle just for the sake of taking the sex to a raunchier place.

BONUS: Finish this statement: I like being powerful in bed because it reminds me that I can be a sexual equal; and that there is nothing wrong with being a woman who enjoys being something more than the recipient of his sexual interests.

Andee     xoxo

Random Thoughts For My Southern Friends

While I'm slaving away at work today, I know my friends south or the border will be enjoying their annual celebration of Independence. Although I shouldn't complain, we had our national holiday on Monday and I'm off on Friday.

For almost two years, you have followed my antics, fantasies, and adventures. You've been with me as I  opened the door wider on my bisexuality, and when I opened the door to an experience with a man other than my husband. I have tried to invite you into my world and share as much as possible, and have loved the connection I have made with everyone who has reached out, commented and jumped on the Andee bandwagon.

I'm very fortunate that I have had the support of my husband in everything that has come about from this. To know I have the opportunity to explore and experience a wealth of sexual desires, and test the limits of what most couples would consider beyond the boundaries, has been an incredible gift. It has also been a huge boost to my self-esteem and opened my mind and imagination to a wonderful world of sexual enlightenment.

So as I reflected on this, I started to think of some of the things that "independence" means to me. I know some of you will be celebrating in a political sense, but I'm offering a four thoughts from a personal and intimate sense for your Fourth of July. I hope you enjoy it.

• Being a woman. Not just being a member of the female gender, but being a woman, free to express my own thoughts, sexuality and sensuality. There are women around the world that are captives of repressive ideologies and closed-minded cultural beliefs. I'm free to think for myself, express myself and stand for what I believe in.
• Being a partner. I love being a wife to my husband because it is never a "stereotype." I'm married to my best friend, my equal and my soul mate. He puts me on a pedestal far too often, spoils me incessantly and treats me with respect and dignity.
• Being a sexual being. The freedom to continue producing my website and exploring a wide world of sexual thrills, desires and kinks. I love that I can share my deepest, naughtiest fantasies without being judged - and often being encouraged to actually pursue them.
• Being a flirt. A little in line with what is above, except flirting doesn't have to be anything sexual. In fact, the best flirting leaves more to the imagination than anything else.

I know there is so much more to being independent, but as much as it can be about what our political beliefs include in the West, it can also be extremely personal. I hope all my friends, American or not, can enjoy a little independence in their lives.

Andee     xoxo

Communication | How Social Are We Really

I try very hard to be a social person. It’s not always my biggest comfort zone, but it serves me well to know those around me when I need a favour or shortcut during the day. I don’t need to mention (again!) about how it also led me to starting an incredible journey of sexual discovery and experience.

But there are moments when I get a little concerned over how we have more ways to avoid communicating face to face than we do to interact on a physical level.

I was reading this article online the other day about how social media – specifically Facebook – has changed our way of sharing major life changes to those around us. The article was focused on the issue of updating your FB status when a relationship has come to an end, but touched on other elements of what it has done to our personal TMI filters.

The woman being interviewed commented about how she felt awkward changing her relationship status following a breakup because it invited comments from everyone such as her distant aunt to high school friends she had not seen in years.

It made me think about how much we have grown into a very self-centred society – as we seek electronic validation for “finally dumping the idiot” in our search for “the right guy will come along soon, be patient.” I think what amused me was how there seems to be a whole generation of people who think this is how we relate to each other on an intellectual level.

Heck, even in my own circle of people I actually know, I learned my best friend from high school was pregnant (I won’t mention the not-being-married, not-sure-if-the-divorce-is-final status she should put on Facebook) when she changed her little avatar to the ultrasound image of the fetus.

It was just one of those things that made me think we have accepted that we don’t have any real friends other than the wireless gadget that vibrates in our pocket every time someone IMs or Tweets us.

I see it in my own children, whose friends continually send friend-requests to me – even though I have a reputation of “strict Mom” – because it is more cool in their preteen circuit to have hundreds of online “friends” than it is to head to the park and play a pickup game of soccer or ball hockey with real boys and girls.

As a society, it seems we have become so fixed on our electronic popularity that we will reach out to almost anyone whose name we recognize. (Which reminds me; Johnny Depp, if you are reading this, you haven’t accepted my friend request just yet …)

In a twisted way, I had to laugh when I heard the news that ESPN had fired one of its employees – I think they term they used was “parted company with” – for her deceit in creating a fake following on Twitter in order to seem more “networked” than she was. The woman purchased a followers list from someone else, immediately boosting her own cyber popularity by 1,000 accounts. And I say accounts, because there is no factual evidence to suggest that the package actually included live, breathing organisms.

Followbots continually show up in my Twitter account – and are not hard to identify because they don’t actually “tweet.” They can’t because there is no real person behind the account to offer randomly, amusing sexually suggestive statistics like I tend to share. So, when reviewing who follows me, I can usually determine that if you have a sexy porn star image for an avatar, follow exactly 1,583 others (much like yesterday’s new follower under a different name but the same porn star avatar), have gained 619 followers but have never tweeted a single tweet that you are probably not a living, breathing frustrated bicurious female with a labradoodle and paying way too much in rent.

The Internet – as I believe in all my naïveté – is not meant to be the mechanism through which we solidify relationships with others. It’s a nice toy to occasionally reach out and touch people who we may be geographically distant from, but to notify my mother that I just had a bowel movement by posting on her wall … yeah, not so much.

And social media is already to blame for so much that is anti-social; as a society we are learning how to disconnect ourselves from interacting with those around us in favour of electronic toys that can share our message with cute little emoticons. I guess it is too much trouble to actually smile at someone else.

On top of that, this so-called “social” tool has dulled our ability to sift through what should be private and what should be public. I can imagine the shifting of the planets that would occur if I actually used my personal Facebook account to update my status with my occasionally naughty exploits. Maybe what Facebook needs are some more realistic relationship status options:

• Married with a hall pass
• Decidedly against members of the opposite sex
• Currently engaged … in something exceptionally kinky
• Singularly responsible for someone’s divorce proceedings 

Anyway, since most of you on here don’t get to be “social” with the real mind behind the madness, count yourself lucky. As Brad Paisley sang “I’m so much cooler online.”

Andee     xoxo

TMI Tuesday | May Is Masturbation Month

We all know by now that Woody Allen once used the famous line “Don’t knock masturbation, it’s sex with someone I love.”

This week for TMI Tuesday, I am bringing you to the brink of self-satisfaction with my thoughts on solo sex. That’s right, we’re back to discussing masturbation! However, before you reach for some facial tissue – what an odd name for something when that’s only part of the job it does – you need to know that this is about my habits, not how I do it.

1. How often do you masturbate?

I don’t think this is something I could say “twice a week” to. Like intercourse, it kind of changes with the cycle of my libido. There are some weeks when I am especially horny and find a little solo time daily … or twice daily. And then there are weeks when my favourite little sex toy sits in my night stand collecting dust, anxiously awaiting for the drawer to crack open and be sprung into action with the intensity of a new battery.

But having said that, masturbation is a regular part of my sex life. Being one of those women who needs a little extra help (due to some physical changes after childbirth) achieving orgasm, masturbation is something I am extremely comfortable with. It also helps that I have a partner who has an affection for sex toys and a saint’s level of patience. As my experience grew with the things he would bring home for me, so did my enthusiasm for even more twisted and kinky experiences. You can even watch me test a couple of really big ones in my latest video!

It’s also something that I have become more comfortable with as I … um … got better at it …? I used to view masturbation as a much more private moment than it is these days, but with experience, experimentation and the addition of delightful little gadgets, my comfort level grew to a point where it could be a key part of intimacy in my relationship. My website helped, of course, with the introduction of some pretty steamy videos where you get to watch me pleasure myself.

2. What are you doing to celebrate Masturbation Month?

I can’t honestly say that I knew that there was a month dedicated specifically to the act. Although now that I do know there is a month for it, I will certainly dedicate a round or six in honour of those who have cum before me. I might even go as far as offering a helping hand for masturbation in honour of those who are not able to do it themselves. I’m a giving kind of person that way. Who knows, I might even film a documentary on the subject … or at least turn on the camera for a homemade porn flick for you to enjoy while I masturbate!

I guess you could say it won’t necessarily change my pattern or frequency.

3. Do you like to watch your partner masturbate?

     a. Yes, it turns me on

     b. Sometimes, because it gets my partner very aroused 

     c. Not really, it’s boring

     d. No, it’s a turn off

     e. I’ve never experienced it but I would like to

Without question, I am an a-type personality when it comes to my partner’s masturbating. I would love it if he would let me watch even more often. I think it’s exceptionally sexy to watch someone pleasure themselves, even though it took me a while to be comfortable as the one being watched.

In the early days of my introduction to the naughty side of the Internet, I would secretly login to certain sites when my husband was working and flirt, chat – and watch guys do their thing for me. It was an exciting experience for me to learn that I could get men to share that on webcam – especially since they would frequently be asking for me to do that for them! I don’t know if I can say I miss those days, or if I just miss having the time on my hands that I had back in those days!

4. Do you let your partner watch you masturbate?

     a. Yes, it turns me on to be watched

     b. Sometimes, because it gets my partner very aroused

     c. No, it’s embarrassing

     d. I’ve never experienced it but I’d like to

Hmm, there’s not really a true definition in this for me. I let my husband watch/participate/do it for me very often, because about 80% of the time, I am masturbating myself to orgasm after we have sex. It’s not so much about it turning me on that he is there, but more about continuing the sexual moment to a point where we each have climaxed. Sometimes this is before we have intercourse – because of how incredible it feels to have him in me right after I have cum; while other times it is after we have made love and I am looking to “finish” things off for myself (as I alluded to earlier).

Away from those experiences, there have been times when I have done it for him as a way to get him excited. A hint of foreplay, perhaps. Regardless, any time sex is on the agenda is a good time.

5. Mutual masturbation, yeah or nay?

Oh god, yes! But the biggest challenge in mutual masturbation is trying to refrain from taking it to screwing like rabbits once each of us is all horned up from manual genital manipulation. Where I see this as a more intriguing option is the few occasions I have had with phone sex, and the aforementioned early days of exploring with webcam.

6. If you had an all-expense-paid trip to San Francisco to attend Masturbation-a-Thon 2012, would you go and masturbate? Why or why not?

Unfortunately the only answer to this one is a very wishy-washy “maybe.” The idea is exceptionally erotic, but once those initial thoughts wane, you start to realize that most people who attend events like these aren’t exactly the erotic types you want to share a masturbatory experience with. Jennifer Aniston is not going to sit in a conference room chair across from me and let me watch what she does with her hands between those sexy legs … nor will I get the chance to watch Thor actor Chris Hemsworth handle his hammer!

Reality is, most of the attendees to events like this tend to be either tattooed and pierced sexual/gay activists, or pasty-pale basement dwellers looking for a kink to add to their deviant track record. Like Pride Day, those participating generally don't speak for the majority. It’s the same reality that takes the eroticism out of nude beaches. The people you want to see naked are never the ones that are naked.

I know that sounds rather harsh and judgmental, but let’s be honest, we recognize that it’s close to the truth. I’m not into the act of masturbation for a political – or even a social – statement. For me, it is an experience that is meant to bring sexual satisfaction to me. Selfish, yes. But while I may strike the hypocritic nerve for my position, I just think it’s something that should not be considered an “agenda item” … which is what events like this tend to make it.

BONUS: Are you addicted to masturbating?

No, I wouldn’t say I am addicted to masturbating. What I would say is that if masturbation was an Olympic sport, I would most definitely qualify for the team. Practice makes perfect … and I like to practice as much as I can and as often as the mood strikes.

And now, with all that behind me, I think I might go celebrate!

Andee     xoxo

Valentine's | And A Little Tuesday TMI

I’ll be honest guys, I haven’t really been all that inspired to be sexy, play sexy or act sexy the past couple days. There’s been quite a nasty cold making the rounds in our house, and it has decided to take up residence in me for a while.

The reality behind Valentine's Day is that not everyone buys into the romantic notion of what it means. For the most part, it has become a commercialized event designed to open your wallet more than your heart. And if you don't deliver on the day, you know you are going to hear about it for many years to come. That's a lot to dump on you guys.

Celebrating all that is supposed to be love can't be confined to one day per year. And if that is how you define your romantic intentions, then you might have bigger issues.

Of course, the idea behind a healthy relationship is to have the romance going strong year round. For a lot of guys that seems to be a struggle. It's like men are not allowed to be romantic in this day and age. Those that are, according to what I hear, are subjected to ridicule.

Fortunately I married someone who enjoys investing the effort into the other 364 days. And it pays in dividends for him in many assorted kinky experiences and positions.

And so, with today being a very special (or dreaded in some circles) day, I thought I should share something with you; even more so because I have been pretty consistent in sharing my thoughts on romance, passion and desire. I guess it would be not very Sexy Northern Angelish of me to jump over Valentine’s Day.

In the spirit of blogging, here is one of those TMI Tuesday sessions, with kudos for the questions going to http://tmituesdayblog.wordpress.com

1. Cupid is the god of desire, affection, and erotic love. As the myth goes, a person who is shot by Cupid’s arrow is filled with uncontrollable desire. On your behalf, who would you like Cupid to shoot?

A very good question, but I already have the answer - and I am pretty certain he has already been hit by Cupid's arrow: my husband. I'm lucky to have found someone that isn't just a husband, but my best friend, my lover and my biggest fan. The other men that come in and out of my life along throughout this sexual adventure aren't meant to take that place, but rather offer me some delightful, lustful experiences to enhance what I already have.

2. Earlier in the evening you had dinner at the Fook Yue Chinese Restaurant. You are feeling quite amorous. You open a fortune cookie in the bedroom. Three fortunes appear:

1- “Your patience will be rewarded.”  What would you like that reward to be?

As unromantic as this one is, my patience will be rewarded with me accomplishing a very important work-related goal. The pressure of having something so important and challenging looming over my head for the past three years has sometimes interfered with my romantic and sexual pursuits. It would be lovely to have this behind me, freeing my mind from worry and opening it up to focusing on the excitement and desires that remain contained.

2- “Try something new.”  What is the something new you want to try?

Without question, my "something new" is rooted in experiencing a true MFM threesome. As you have read in many of my blogs, tweets and on my website, this is a key Bucket List item for me.

3- ” ’tis better to give than receive.”  What would you like to give?

A dangerous proposition, to say the least. Keeping it something that you guys should expect to read from me on a day (and blog) like this: I would love to take a private moment to give a certain someone a mind-blowing - read between the lines - experience in his office. However, I also need to play by the rules set out by my husband, so we have to capture it on camera. A nice POV perhaps?

3. If you were to write a special Valentine message (e.g., card, letter, etc.) what is that message?

Despite what thoughts I share on here, the truth is I am a very traditional romantic. My special Valentine's message would focus on the sincerity of what my Valentine and I share together in the life we have made, the deep feelings of love and appreciation we share, and how blessed I feel to have found someone that captures everything within my heart and soul.

4. Are you doing something special for Valentine’s Day or is it just another day?

That remains to be seen. I suspect we will set up our Little Men for a nice dinner downstairs, while my husband and I enjoy something a little more candlelit and intimate. Nothing crazy, nothing over the moon. 

5. You must give chocolate to your secret Valentine for Valentine’s Day. The chocolate is in the shape of your what?

My true Valentine already enjoys everything not chocolate in that sense...but there is someone who I think would really enjoy getting his hands and mouth on my breasts. So maybe, for now, chocolate ones might have to suffice. Well, unless he is the one who gets to mould the chocolate on my naked breasts...and then lick all the extra chocolate off!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Andee     xoxo

Sex | Ways To Get Busy Before You Die

Sweet, by the time quite a few of you get this one, my blog will have passed 100,000 views. I have no idea if that is good, bad or somewhere in between, but I thought it was pretty darn impressive given that this is pretty much my personal diary of my sexual adventure and I didn't expect much.

Anyway, if you're one of 100,000 views (well, that's silly to say), thank you for spending a bit of your time here. I sure hope you have enjoyed my ramblings...

On my morning break the other day I was reading a cute little article about the kinds of sex every woman should have before she settles down. I'd like to say it was enlightening, but it was nothing more than the usual fare: break-up sex, vacation sex, public sex ... yada yada sex.

Gotta love the "expert" advice the bitter and jaded editors of trashy women's magazines tend to source.

As I was sharing some of ideas within the article with one of my coworkers, it came to me that a better idea would be to write something about the kinds of sex you should have before you die ... well, according to Andee, at least. I'm certain there are a lot women out there who still believe Sex In The City was a documentary.

And so I started to tap into my own sexually distracted mind to come up with some concepts on the variety of ways you should get busy before you die. I'll be honest that most of this list is built on sex after you are in a committed relationship, but if you can get it while you're single, more power to you! The idea of getting some of it after marriage just adds to the kink level ...

Voyeur Sex

This could also be called exhibitionist sex, but I'm not talking about doing it in public places were you may or may not be caught by innocent passers-by. Surely you accomplished that in high school, or as a "late bloomer" in your college years and hoped that your roommate was asleep.

Voyeur sex is what my husband and I set for when we first dipped our naked toes into the steamy waters of "swinging." Best described as "watching and being watched," voyeur sex does not involve climbing on someone else's husband for a reverse cowgirl ride to paradise. Instead, it involves doing the reverse cowgirl, doggy, what-have-you, while another couple is only inches away; hopefully enjoying the whole show.
BUCKET LIST: 1 / SOCIAL MORES: 0

Sex-Toy Sex ... with someone there

Lying in bed at home playing with yourself is an awesome to relieve some stress and bring about sexual relief, but the excitement level is enhanced ten-fold when you open up one of your most intimate moments to someone without fondling distance.

Far too many women believe that their sex toys are best left in the night stand for those moments when the hubby is at work or in Bismark on business. When the flames of passion are barely fluttering like a pilot light on the water heater, one of the easiest - and truly erotic - experiences you can share is the orgasmic show of bringing yourself to the height of toe-curling sexual ecstacy. Add to his thrill by implementing a no-touch rule - or try my favourite and have him slide his fingers into you and rub your g-spot as you cum.
BUCKET LIST: 1 / SOCIAL MORES: 0

Same-Sex Sex

I will be perfectly honest here - because I know a healthy majority of my readers are guys - I am really talking about girl-on-girl same-sex sex. My own personal fetishes don't revolve around watching two guys in the heat of passion ... well, unless I am firmly sandwiched in the middle of them (more on that below).

I know that a vast majority of men enjoy the idea of two women enjoying each other. And after a few years of quietly being curious about why, I had the opportunity to confirm those curiosities. Deliciously worth the experience.
BUCKET LIST: 1 / SOCIAL MORES: 0

Really Kinky Sex

I'm not talking about using a orgasm-approved sex toy or an ice cube, but something really out of the ordinary. And on the flip side, that doesn't necessarily mean bondage straps and meat hooks either.

Because everyone has a different version of kink (trust me, I've learned that rubber clothing and hoods are considered normal in some circles), the idea here is to push the limits of your own comfort zone towards something exceptionally erotic and exhilerating.

In my sexual experience so far, I have dabbled with a variety of relatively kinky things, from a sex swing and light bondage (kinky to some) through to a foursome and uncovering my bisexuality (kinky to others). But, I think I am going to say that this remains something I am in pursuit of.
BUCKET LIST: 0 / SOCIAL MORES: 1

Threesome Sex

Perched high on my personal bucket list, this is something that is a purely selfish sex act ... and one that should be added to everyone's "must do" list. I'm not fussy if your own fantasy is two hot blondes from the Swedish Bikini Volleyball Team, or your spouse and that friend you think would be game, if you are able to wrap your brain around the idea of being the object of two other people's desire then it is worth exploring.

My personal fantasy involves my husband and another man ravishing my naked body and bringing me to the point of orgasmic exhaustion. But, for the record, it remains a fantasy ... for now.
BUCKET LIST: 0 / SOCIAL MORES: 1

Bonus: Dangerous Sex
Hard to define, because like "kinky," everyone has different perceptions of what is and is not dangerous. And, let's be clear: dangerous does not equal unsafe. Playing with fire is good when dribbling candle wax on your nipples, but putting your health at risk is not what sex should be about.

Truth be told, I'm not even certain of my own territory here. Perhaps something that involves a night of unbridled debauchery at a place like Hedonism?

Anyone have some truly erotic ideas?

Andee     xoxo

 

Porn | Why Women Are Looking

I was surfing around looking for some information for those sex-stats Tweets that I like to throw at you guys on a frequent basis and I came across this on why women like porn. Now, it’s kind of a weird thing for me. I don’t look at porn all that much – but as you know, I spend a portion of my private life posing for it. So, the idea of women and porn is a bit twisted for me.

I make no secret of my passion for well-written erotica, and enjoy spending an evening curled up in my reading chair with a really steamy book. It has fueled so many of my fantasies … and cost me probably hundreds of dollars in batteries.

Now, having said that, I recognize that with the Internet playing such a huge role in our lives today, access is extremely easy and we’re not really all that different from guys. We have our kinks. We just may not be as open about letting you know that we do.

In one thing I read on the subject, I found this: Psychotherapist Phillip Hodson, of the British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy, says that in consulting rooms, the issue of woman habitually using porn "is something that has not been aired before. It's something new that's just beginning to surface … Traditionally women's voices have been against porn. It's seen as more of a male thing, because it's men who are supposed to be visually stimulated. But that doesn't mean that women aren't. Men are just maybe more so."

So, more women are doing it … and on thefrisky.com I found blogger Susannah Breslin had come up with 10 reasons why. I thought it would be great to share:

1. Curiosity. A girlfriend of mine calls this the “freak show factor.” Personally, I think there is something about pornography that is a bit like a freak show. I mean, people look kind of weird naked and doing it. We’ve come a long way, baby, but there is a degree to which watching porn is still a taboo for women, and that can be its own turn-on.

2. To Get Off. Women and men may be from different planets, but they are both prone to the occasional masturbation session, and it is for that express purpose porn was designed. Generally, I believe women are more likely to choose mental fantasies over visual aids, but there are many women who are as visual as men and men who are as fantasy-oriented as women.

3. Learn New Moves. We can’t all be Stormy Daniels, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have sex like porn stars if we aspire to do so. Whether we’re bored with the current state of our sex lives, looking to bust out a new move on a special occasion, or have yet to perfect the fine art of fellatio, porn can, uh, come in, er, handy as an, um, “educational tool.”

4. Comparison Shopping. People are always yapping about how competitive men are. I have yet to meet a man who is as quietly competitive as a woman. Because a fair amount of us can’t quite make up our minds whether or not to love the body Mother Nature gave us, sometimes we watch porn to compare ourselves to other women. When the competition is surgically enhanced, that challenge can get a little tricky. But women also watch porn to compare their sexual partners to other men. Do they measure up? Depends.

5. Ogle Guys. You know what there isn’t enough of in this world? Shirtless, bottomless, and shirtless and bottomless men. Seriously! Naked chicks? Everywhere you look. If we can’t get to the beach, we might have to visit HotNudeDudes.com, stat.

6. Kill Time. Why does one of my female coworkers watch porn? “To kill time before you can start a DVR’d, hour-long episode of a TV show without having to watch any commercials.” She is nothing if not efficient.

7. Get in the Mood. Several women I spoke with about their personal porn usage used the term “jump start.” If she’s getting ready to go out on a big date, or if her partner is on the way over for a roll in the hay, women use adult movies to get their motor runnin’. It’s like foreplay. Except you’re having sex with the Internet instead of another human being.

8. It’s His. Probably, this one should be higher up on the list. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if this was the second most common reason women watch porn. Suffice to say, many women who stumble upon their man’s porn collection may have taken a peek at it. Or, you know, spent the next several hours watching it. In some cases, someone else’s porn can tell you a lot about them.

9. Explore Secret Fantasies. If a woman isn’t comfortable sharing her sexual fantasies, she may turn to porn to experience them vicariously. It could be something as simple as spanking, yet she may feel awkward telling her square-as-a-peg husband that she wants to play naughty. Porn never judges.

10. Penises. Newsflash: Penises are weird. I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again. We don’t have them. We will never totally understand them. Porn is a penis show.

Well, as for me ... how just because I want to. I figure that is good enough reason. I already do more than enough in the rest of my life to be psycho-analyzed.

Andee     xoxo

 

Video Blog | Edgy & Spicy or Interesting

Hey there guys, here's another little bit of me talking about relationships. This time I touching on keeping a marriage interesting, and why that is important if you hope to have a successful - and adventurous - experience together.

And, don't forget that I put together a FREE read about how to get your partner to rock your world. It's an eBook looking at some of things I found invaluable in getting my own relationship on the path of some incredible sexual adventures. Just click on the cover, at the top right of my blog home page.

And just because it's Tuesday, there is also another hot and sexy Topless Tuesday post. Only a couple more weeks left in that summertime distraction ... any ideas what you would like to see for the 13 weeks of Fall?

Andee     xoxo

Video Blog | Guys And Porn

 

Lately, hubby and I have been going over some of the questions, comments and e-mails that I have gotten from you guys and have been looking at ways to answer them for you.

In today's video blog installment I dish on my thoughts on why I think men like porn.

According to an Internet usage survey, 26% of male Internet users visited adult websites - while only 3% of women went to these sites.I find both stats kind of low, given how much of it exists on the Internet. I'm also surprised at how low the number is women, but I have never fallen into any particular stereotype apparently. 

Andee     xoxo