Trying Not To Look Too Slutty

It has been a while since I dug into my collection of questions from people I have encountered on here and some of the other online avenues of my life; and with the sun starting to actually melt the frozen tundra that is my neighbourhood I thought it would be a good time to put some specific answers out there.

This one came from one of my Twitter followers a few weeks ago and has kind of sat in my mind – and archive – for a bit.

When you get dressed up, do you pay attention to whether you look 'too slutty'?

Outside of the fun that happens with me online, there are kind of two realities at work for me as to why this isn’t really an issue: my personal struggle with fashion and my offline environment not being truly conducive to being that way.

I have said before that a tremendous amount of my personal style belongs to the fashion sense of my husband. He is a very unique man who could spend hours – and hundreds of dollars – taking me shopping. Almost all the outfits you see when I post pics on my blog and Twitter are the result of him taking the time to pick something out for me (with the exception of some lingerie and boots, which I have been ‘spoiled’ in receiving from a couple male friends). Without that guidance, I would easily opt for the most comfortable and practical style … and certainly not have the ability to tease, flirt and torment as much as I do!

Some of the women I work with, quite literally, ask if they can take him shopping with them after they discover that a certain outfit was something he picked out, etc.

In those moments when I feel like pushing the envelope a little, my decisions are completely based on being a distraction – but not so much that it would impact my professional reputation. I aim for the “sexy” most of all.

Secondary to that, my day-to-day life is rooted in a very conservative work environment. I occasionally push the limits a little with some shorter hems and by wearing my friends’ lingerie underneath, but for the most part I can’t get away with too much. Heck, we even have a policy for heel height – which rules out all those impossible sky-high stilettos you guys love on us.

And, my day-to-day-not-at-work life is rooted in playing taxi driver to a couple of exceptionally busy young men. I’m sure I could get away with being a little sexier in my outfits for those nights when I’m just a spectator to their activities – and likely not get any complaints from the Dads in attendance – but it’s not always practical to be wearing a miniskirt and heels to a hockey game.

But, having said that, every now and then, the opportunity arises for me to go out on a hot date with my husband and not dress so “Momish.” Again, I get an awful lot of advice and requests from him … and occasionally I will relent and slip into something just so we can cut the night short and get home early (if you know what I mean).

Even then, my husband’s fashion sense isn’t about trying to make me look “slutty” as much as it is about trying to help me feel confident, stylish and sexy.

In all honesty, the only times I have ever felt close to ‘slutty’ are a couple of occasions when we went to a lifestyle club – but my initial concerns over my own outfit were soon dispelled by what I saw other women almost wearing. And in that kind of setting, their sluttier seems to be the better!

I think there is a need to understand what “too slutty” can mean. With some people, they think that a woman should stop wearing certain styles when they reach a certain age. But others think that when a woman reaches a certain age, she should dress how she wants because she has the confidence in her sexuality to let all those societal conventions disappear.

I think there is a difference between what may be acceptable in our society and what might be a bit much, but at the end of the day, if a woman has the confidence to carry her sense of style off, then who are we to pass judgment?

Andee     xoxo 

TMI Tuesday | Show Me Something Sexy

Are you ready for Santa? In just one week, the big guy in the red suit will be sliding down the chimney ... and damn, I hope that naughty list goes up in flames!

This week with TMI Tuesday, we look at just some of the more recent naughty events that may have put me on that other list. But let's be honest, even Santa can appreciate a naughty girl every now and then!

What is the sexiest thing you have done in the past two months?
It’s been a wildly busy two months for my husband and I, so incredible tales of wild, swinging weekends and sexual adventures best saved for graphic romance novels aren’t really at my disposal right now – unless you want to slip inside my overactive imagination. But, that said, sexy doesn’t always have to be something extreme and crazy. Sometimes sexy can simply be a moment spent completely invested in making someone feel special and loved. With that in mind, I would say the sexiest thing I have done in the past two months is invest a good part of a couple days drawn into some very steamy sexting with my husband, followed by some very sweaty sex at unusual hours for a married couple with busy lives and busy children.

Connecting on an emotional level like that, after spending the day wrapped up in a technology-aided sexual whirlwind, can be extremely sexy. If not equally important, in order to keep the flames of passion burning in a relationship.

What is the sexiest thing you have worn in the past 30 days?
Without a doubt, the sexiest thing I have worn in the past month is some incredible lingerie that a friend sent for me to wear. You can see from the attached image, a small peek at the outfit …

For me, the outfit is sexy on a number of levels: first, just the look. When I first saw this lingerie, during an online shopping spree with my friend, I said it was very sexy. It’s not over the top; it’s not “cheesy”. It has a classic look and mood to it. It’s the kind of lingerie that is meant to be worn, not just something for a “stockings and lace” swingers’ party. Along with that, it is the kind of lingerie that I can – and will – wear under a dress just like the one in the photo. Unlike some of the lingerie on my website, this can be practical in a very sexy and flirtatious manner offline!

Secondly, it is sexy because of the kinkiness behind it. This is lingerie that someone other than my husband bought for me to wear. For me, that adds to the excitement … and the desire to slip it on and behave in a very naughty way, even when the camera isn’t pointed at me. Knowing that someone else is enjoying the reality behind that ... uh huh, that is sexy to me.

What is the sexiest thing you have watched in the last 30 days?
Settling into one of my more kinky thoughts, the one thing that I find incredibly sexy is when I get to watch my husband stroke himself. I can’t explain just how much of a turn-on that is for me – to be able to just watch and enjoy. I guess because it allows me to see how he brings himself to an erection and his technique for pleasuring himself. To me, this is incredibly sexy – and made even more so because it’s a somewhat rare treat.

What is the sexiest thing you have heard in the last two weeks?
“Sweetie, I did the vacuuming.”

I dare you to find anything more orgasmic to a woman’s ears than hearing a verbal confirmation of actual housecleaning from their spouse. Talk about instant arousal.

The coup de grace was: “I also emptied the dishwasher.”

Damn, now I’m horny just reminiscing about it all.

What is the sexiest thing you’ve said in the last 24 hours?
Does reading the answers featured above count as “the last 24 hours”?

BONUS: Tell us or show us something sexy.

And there you go, some sexy naughtiness to get us in the mood for some serious seasonal fun!

Andee     xoxo

TMI Tuesday | 'Tis The Season

Is everybody getting ready for another great festive season? I love this time of year, even if things do get a little crazy. For today's TMI Tuesday, we start getting into the Christmas spirit ... and while you are reading, I'm probably getting into the Christmas "spirits!"

During the December holiday season, do you:
   a) Go away to join other family?
   b) Have holiday fun with immediate family?
   c) Get to be alone with a lover?
   d) Enjoy the peace and quiet and downtime of being with yourself?
While it’s not as bad as it used to be, Christmas for me is a whirlwind of activity – and spending time with my own family, and then with my immediate family. My husband kind of views his family as a “if it fits my mood and schedule” Christmas, which often means we don’t see too many people from his side.

What is your favourite holiday tradition or thing you like to do every holiday season?
For me, it’s decorating my Christmas tree. It’s not something that is shared with the same level of sentimentality in our house, but I just love taking my time and reflecting on what each of the ornaments mean to me.

You are walking down the street and a sexy person is standing with a sign that says “Kiss Me” and mistletoe hanging above their head.
   a) Would you kiss the person? Yes or no?
   b) Why, or why not?
Sadly, a cop-out answer here: it all depends. It would depend on my mood, on the circumstances and the level of sexiness that the sign-holder is giving off. Being married also means that my level of smoochable freedom is somewhat restricted to my husband and the occasional clandestine pucker with a certain Office Guy.

Santa made up his list and he has checked it twice. Turns out you are on the “naughty” list. What is the naughty thing you did that put you on that list.
That all depends on how much room Santa has on that list to outline the naughtiness that has been my 2012! But cutting to the chase, probably the naughtiest thing I did in 2012 that I am willing to confess to is the time I managed to convince my married Office Guy to join me for some seriously sexy fun back in March. Without a doubt, there are many who would consider that to be an exceptionally naughty thing for me to do – but I stand by my defence: I had permission to fool around that time.

As for the rest of it; surely Santa knows that sometimes it is better to keep some of those secrets and share the occasional little white lie in order to protect the innocent … right?

If Santa knows more than that, he at least better have been holding the video camera!

For being naughty you have been locked in a room where you will have to watch 24 hours of a holiday movie. Which movie would you choose?
   a) A Christmas Story
   b) It’s A Wonderful Life
   c) White Christmas
   d) A Christmas Carol (original 1938 version or the 1992 Muppet version)
Easy answer for me: A Muppet Christmas Carol. It has become one of my favourites of the holiday season. Although, if you were going to look at this as punishment, It’s A Wonderful Life would be the worst possible thing I could have to endure for 24 hours. I don’t get the appeal of that movie as a “Christmas classic” and it would definitely not put me in the holiday spirit.

BONUS: The holidays can be a hectic time of year, so much so that romance might take a back seat to festivities and such. Give us your sexy tip for keeping away the “chill” and “heating up” the holiday season.
A few years ago, my husband and I started a little Christmas Eve tradition affectionately known as the Naughty Stocking. It’s a cheesy animal-print Christmas stocking that my husband would fill with certain items meant for those “couple moments” and “adult fun” as a small reminder that, despite being parents, we were also a couple.

This was how I got a lot of my naughty lingerie and sex toys for Christmas … because opening a package from Victoria’s Secret in front of my children usually results in a raucous meltdown of prepubescent boys being grossed out by the sight of a woman's naughty knickers.

Andee     xoxo

Dancing Towards a New Career?

Some time ago, I wrote about how the laws had changed where I live regarding work visas for exotic dancers. The government clamped down on granting such visas to foreign women who come to Canada to earn a living as a stripper. The strip club owners, in turn, made a big splash about how this would limit the number of available dancers for their stages, and how they would now be forced to recruit young college-age women to fill the need.

On and off, the conversation around this has continued among some of my coworkers – surfacing recently when one went off on a rant about how her husband joined his friends for a few drinks at one. That rant is best saved for another day, but regardless, I always enjoy when these topics begin swirling around because I can occasionally shock the shit out of people by chiming in with an opinion they surely didn’t expect.

Well, you have to amuse yourself somehow …

All of this reminded me of an article I read a couple years ago about how in this economic struggle we are in, some women are turning to exotic dancing and adult entertainment as a way to make ends meet. The lure of a potential annual income of $100,000 to $300,000 annually in some of the premier men’s clubs – even in tough times – appears to be too much to resist.

I think I also shared way back then about how, given the right opportunity, blend of alcohol and distance from my home, I might be encouraged to get up for an amateur night. Now, far from being judgmental about it, I did find it interesting to read because it is something that tells what I see as a bigger reality out there. If you consider that this current recession is the first one to occur at a time when women are truly independent. Even some 20 years ago – when I was but a wee girl – the mentality wasn’t nearly as accepting. Not that I would suggest it has changed dramatically, because I am certain that many of these ladies are still facing the scorn of a drunken crowd … and a few angry wives.

But it is intriguing because, at a moment in time when the idea of “amateur” holds a particular appeal, here are housewives, bank tellers and former corporate types, doffing their panties on stage and shaking what Momma gave them.

The article said clubs, adult magazines and porn producers are seeing an influx of applications from women who have college educations and were previously well employed. Some have even used their past as part of their onstage personas to underscore the changes … and appeal to that certain fetish about seeing the boss in her business suit strip down.

I know it works for me when I get all dressed up in professional attire and reveal teasing glimpses of naughtiness under my hemline. And I love how my Office Guys react when I put on my best suit for work.

I suppose for some, the idea may seem somewhat desperate. But given that all of us – men and women – get naked at least once a day for free, is it so bad to try to make the best of the moment and benefit financially? I’m not sure I have an answer, but I can see the appeal … just from my own experience I have noticed that more and more of the guys I have talked to like the idea of “amateur” over “professional.” There’s just something more erotic about seeing the “real girl next door” naked than the one’s airbrushed and pretending they could live on your street.

Andee     xoxo

An Authentic Brunette's Random Thoughts

For me this one is a bit of a personal debate as I ponder what will come next for my hairstyle ... although I have never thought of going blonde ... I found this little interesting argument online at a "mail order bride" site (don't ask).

"Since time immemorial, poets, writers, journalists, social scientists, talk show hosts, you name them, have struggled and fought to answer the question that burns in men's minds: Which shade of woman is preferred and why...blondes or brunettes? Are blondes better lovers? Are brunettes better suited in the boardroom? Can blondes be trusted? Is a brunette a better mate?

Blonde hair is unique in that it typically darkens with age. So a blonde woman gives the impression of being younger, more able to procreate. Theory has it that men have subconsciously developed an attraction to mate with women who appear younger, thus increasing the chances of having children. In northern climes, where survival of the species is paramount, one school of thought believes blondes developed genetically in order to attract more males and therefore increase the odds of maintaining the species.

Lighter eyes are a more desired trait as interest, such as in a male, is more easily seen in the pupil dilation (the signal of interest) of a blue-eyed women versus those of a dark-eyed one.

As early as the 14th century women were dying their hair lighter in order to look younger and become, they believed, more attractive. This is true in many traditionally dark haired areas of the world, for example Latin America, where a lighter haired and skinned woman is more highly prized than her brunette counterpart...so they say.

However, studies have shown that corporate entities seem to favour brunettes as managers and executives as illustrated by the size of their paycheck over those of blondes. Another study espoused that brunettes are preferred by men as mates and are more trustworthy and loyal. If you want to have fun, go with a blonde. But marry a brunette..."

So ... brunette or blonde ... maybe I might find a good wig for a photo set or two!

Andee     xoxo

My Growing Interest In Lingerie

Over the past couple years I have developed a taste for nice lingerie; partly due to my evolving tastes in what I personally think is sexy, and partly due to the reaction it produces at home, at work and within myself. To say that looking sexy and feeling sexy is not an ego boost would just be misleading. As a woman ages, she needs even more reassurance that she still has the feminine ability to attract men.

And even though we have great sources for lingerie these days – places like Fredericks of Hollywood and Victoria's Secret – I think a lot of women have given up on the “old-fashioned idea” of sexy. It doesn’t help that pop culture has turned overtly slutty into the modern ideal of socially-acceptable sexy, but as long as size 0 models with size 0 IQs continue to flaunt it as fashion, well, we’ll just never get more women into the idea.

Lingerie has been reduced to seemingly only involve matching bras and panties these days. Of course, the traditional two-piece ensemble are an amazing part of any girl’s trousseau, but I can’t help wonder if there are other younger women out there that have a daily interest in sexy lingerie beyond just two pieces. And by that I mean, lingerie for the sake of personal interest, not as stage clothes and photographic wardrobe.

Without question, the modern idea for many lingerie enthusiasts remains steadfast in its connection to naughty Santa's helpers and Valentine's Day attire. But what about discovering the sexiness of wearing lingerie on an every day basis?

Yesterday, one of my newest pieces of lingerie made its debut on my website; and from all accounts so far, was well-received. I know it sure as hell was well-received at home – and I have every intention of seeing exactly how it might work for me at my work.

I think the idea of lingerie for something beyond posing for a camera is finding the balance between "feeling sexy" and "made for sex" ... because there is a very distinct difference. I can wear the feeling sexy lingerie all the time - including when sex is on the agenda, but I'm not sure I can wear the made for sex lingerie under a sexy dress for a day at the office.

In a way, my hobby has been a key determining factor in my desire for sexier underthings. I’m blessed with a husband who recognizes the need to keep my drawers filled with naughty lace things, and have developed a few friends with guys who enjoy seeing me in items they have bought for me as well. Of course, it’s hard not to have fun when those things combine all for my benefit.

Andee     xoxo

My Love For Nice Lingerie

"If your wearing lingerie that makes you feel glamorous, you're halfway thereto turning heads"

~ Elle Macpherson

Sexy new update, brought to you by a special friend on mine!

See ALL of me here!

Andee   xoxo

My Sexual Insecurities

It’s kind of funny ... not one of those funny “ha ha” moments, but one of those “why do you ask” situations. I don't think it has been much of a secret over the past few months that I have been taking my fashion choice for work to a little sexier level. If you follow me on Twitter, or keep up with the occasional tale on here, you'll know what I mean.

The other day I was asked if I had some sort of “agenda” for these recent changes in work wear; as if there was something behind my decision to go beyond my comfort zone. It’s been a little better than a year since I began to dress up more frequently, and without obvious reason such as a meeting or presentation. One of the big motivators in me stepping beyond the lab coat and scrubs has been a feeling of insecurity; and a need to reassure myself that I can still turn the head of a man that isn't my husband.

This is even more important to my emotional state of mind following a tediously long stretch in the lab where we are not allowed to wear jewellery and/or make-up. Say what you want, but for some of us that leaves us feeling more vulnerable than standing naked on stage in front of thousands of people.

I think it's fairly natural to suggest that as a woman ages, she has feelings of doubt as to her sexuality and attractiveness. The diet, fitness and washed-up celebrity endorsement industries rely heavily on this phenomenon. Without our feelings of "less than perfect" there would be dozens of 80s sitcom supporting cast members working stage shows in the Poconos – not to mention a library of self-help books doing nothing but collecting dust.

On a personal level, I have found myself being remarkably surprised at how much I enjoy the transformation – and challenge of finding my "sexy" again. I work in an environment that doesn’t always allow me to feel remotely that way and so when the opportunity arises these days, I have this desire to make the most of it.

I don’t have a problem exploring what it takes to indulge in the sexual me and touching the line without crossing it. OK, some days I like it when that line is very grey; not quite 50 shades of grey, but fuzzy and not so easily identified.

I admit that I like the attention I receive from my Office Guys and some of the other men at work. I like the extended glances from the power suits and the flirty smiles in the hallways.

Does it define me as a woman? No; not in the least. What defines me as a woman is the love I have from my family, the role I play as a wife and a mother.

Some might think it is rather superficial – however, even the superficial in life has the power to influence one’s mood and add some positivity to a person’s self-esteem. And as much as we need the emotional fuel for the soul, we also need a little stroking here and there of the fragile outer ego.

A woman also wants to be appreciated for all those superficial, societal ideals – her style, her sexual prowess and willingness to play the combined role of Madonna and whore. We want to be respected for our intellect, but still lusted over. And we do want to catch you looking at our cleavage or checking out our legs in that miniskirt.

We don’t want to have to explain how all of that fits into this really complex double standard.

The other side of this relates to my husband. While I am not a fan of shopping, and often admit to having no sense of real style, he loves both – and I’m the lucky recipient of his passion for that. I have a closet full of great clothes thanks to him, and he constantly encourages me to step out beyond the standard comfy go-to clothes.

And those days when I am feeling a bit braver, slip on a nice dress and maybe some risqué lingerie underneath, I can count on a constant flow of suggestive and ego-boosting texts from him. It doesn’t hurt that if he thinks for a moment that another man may show a peaked interest, he becomes incredibly turned on. And it doesn’t hurt for a moment that all of those influences help ramp up my flirtatious courage.

All rewarding for me.

And one of the real benefits of having this forum to express myself on is that I can share what goes on in my mind, for better or worse. It helps me keep in touch with some of my own fantasies, think through some twisted ideas and plot out my scheme for global domination one stocking leg at a time ... hence your weekly treat of Thigh High Thursday.

Andee     xoxo

What's So Unusual About Stockings

For some guys, today is a pretty special day - it's National Stockings Day in England, a day sponsored by Charnos Hosiery designed to raise awareness and money for breast cancer awareness. For anyone who is interested in following my own antics for the day, catch up with me on Twitter. I have a few really sexy stockings pics that will be posted throughout the day to help make it a bit more interesting for you.

Of course, the idea of me wearing stockings also fits into today's blog theme - something that popped up a while back in my Formspring questions.

What is the most unusual sexual experience you’ve ever had?

Are stockings really that unusual? Probably not for a lot of people; and really not so much for me when we just consider wearing them for something like my website or to make a video for you. But for me to push the limits of my comfort zone and introduce them as part of my work-related wardrobe ... that was exceptionally unusual (and sexual) for me.

If you remember back to what I wrote at the time, I think it really still sums up my thoughts:

One morning, I woke up before my husband, walked into the bathroom and proceeded to get ready for my day at work. Like I often do, I had set out my outfit for the day, so that I wouldn't need to disturb him while he slept. I found a little note from him stuck inside the dress I was planning to wear, along with the stockings and garterbelt. The whole thing was worth it the moment my husband walked into the kitchen to say goodbye to me before I left for the day.

I know my husband loves me, and we have an awful lot of fun together both in and out of the bedroom, but there is nothing that can mask true lustful surprise on a man's face. It's a look that goes right to my heart and knees ... and ego. After over 20 years of being together, there aren't many times left when I can see that sincere expression of delighted shock and desire. It was like watching a kid at Christmas.

Later in the day, when I revealed my fashion leap to my Office Guy the first time, his reaction was equally incredible. To stand just a few feet away from him and do the seductive hiking up of my hem, to see his eyes light up and just stare in amazement was an amazing turn-on for me. Then to allow him to touch and fondle ... still a prominent masturbation memory.

Of course, almost all of what opened the door on this was one of the other most unusual sexual experiences in my life: having an adult website ...

This is something that I would have never anticipated ever indulging in, but has certain been a big motivator and enabler in my sexual adventure. It has given me the confidence and fueled my desire to explore and push the limits.

I can't say that something like that would be for everyone - and, honestly, I'm thankful it's not.

Other things that come to mind, but may be best saved for a future blog, would include:

• Going to the swingers clubs ... that is way outside my comfort zone ...
• Finally finding the courage to turn my bi-curious status to bisexual ...
• My afternoon rendezvous with my Office Guy ... that is just something that I don't do, so for me that is beyond the limits.

 Having wrapped my brain around all of this though, the reality is I like the unusual side of life. It's what makes everything so interesting ... especially the sex!

Andee     xoxo

The Thoughts That Swirl Around

One of the questions that landed in my email recently kind of got me thinking. The person who sent it asked me if I ever fantasize about my website members, like they fantasize about me.

I guess the first answer is: I’m thankful some of you consider me fantasy material. I love bringing my crazy little world to you, and just appreciate knowing you are enjoying it.

My fantasies tend to fluctuate, as you have seen over the past two years of me sharing on my blog and the past 10 years on my Southern Charms site. Some I have been lucky to explore and turn into realities, while others are simply good ideas floating around in my imagination. And that’s probably not that different from many others – life experience tends to bring new ideas, desires and intrigue to a person.

I can’t say I have ever specifically fantasized about random men that may have sent me a sexy email or naughty IM. There have been guys who have been online friends – people I have chatted with, and in the beginning, a few guys I webcammed with – that I have shared a slightly more intimate experience with online. At the time, those experiences were a great deal of fun. My exposure to the more sexual side of the internet was new, fresh and helped fill both my time and imagination at point in my life when I needed some distraction.

But, like a lot of things, it became a bit “routine” and the excitement waned. New experiences took their place and I was off on a new direction in my sexual adventure.

The intriguing thoughts that still occasionally pop into my mind are more about the fun and pleasure that I hope my members – and readers here, as well – are having thanks to my efforts. I find it quite exciting and ego-boosting to think that I can still turn some men on with the kind of things I do online. If you knew the real me behind Andee, you would quickly see that I’m not a vain person, so doing the photos and videos are still, even after 10 years, a big stretch for me. I tend to see the flaws more than the fantasy.

But I won’t deny that I enjoy knowing the reaction those things produce. I believe that all women, on some level, like the idea of being sexually desirable; even if some of the more staunch feminists and anti-pornographers say the whole concept is disgusting.

The other part of my kink that this appeals to is the fact that I love watching a man pleasure himself. Seeing a man in all his erect glory, utterly turned on and stroking for all he is worth is exceptionally erotic. And why not? I know a lot of men like watching us masturbate. Goodness, there’s a whole billion dollar industry built around gadgets intended to help women reach orgasms.

Andee     xoxo

Life On The Silver Screen

Around here the celebrity buzz is gaining a lot of steam, with the international film festival set to begin and movie star sightings on the rise. One of the films being featured by Canadian actress/director Sarah Polley is a revealing story about family secrets, and such. The idea behind having your life and family secrets being exposed to the big screen made for some interesting conversation this past weekend with some of my coworkers.

Naturally I was reluctant to reveal too much about the secrets I keep tucked away in my boudoir. Some things are just better left not disclosed to the people I have to face every day.

If your life was turned into a movie, what scene would you be embarrassed to see on the big screen?
Despite what you might think about all the swirling sexual insanity that has become my adventure for the past decade, probably the one thing that would embarrass me the most would be a somewhat realistic recreation of my wedding. Don’t get me wrong, I love being married to my best friend, and life is never boring, but back then I was so young and immature; hardly prepared or mindful of what would lay ahead.

Part of the “romance” is the innocence and naivety, but like those horrible high school photos we all like to hide, what we see is a young bride with a huge misconception of the world. At that age we think we are so much older and prepared for life than we really are. Then as we begin to experience life, all those youthful notions turn into knowledge of how it really is.

Probably the other moment in my life that I would like to rewrite for a much more exciting Hollywood version would be turning the awkwardness of me discovering my bisexuality into a scene that isn’t as close the reality.

It was something I had long mulled over in my mind, but when the opportunity was right there, everything went south … and not in the good way. As you have read on here before, all the curiosity and desire staggered around after she and I both had too much to drink.

What scene would get it an ‘R’ rating?
Oh goodness, to narrow it down ...

Um, as much as I would like to say things have not been a tornado of emotional confusion and sexual torment, but just about any time in the past year I've worn a dress to work. Some days haven’t been all that naughty, but given that the days when I dress up, there are ulterior motives.

And then there is the reality surrounding most of the dates I've had in the past decade. One of the realities of my life is that I am a very sexual and adventurous person, and my shy, conservative persona is less of the truth than what people might think. When my husband and I plan a night out, if it’s not something specific like a family event, we look to explore and excite in whole new ways.

For example, one of the last times we went out, I ended up pressed up against the back of my truck in the dark parking lot having my pussy licked. My husband pushed the hem of my jean skirt up to my waist and knelt between my legs. It was only after a few minutes into the whole moment that we realized there was someone sitting in their truck parked a few spots over. Hopefully they enjoyed the show.

On the way home, I was still so incredibly turned on, so I took matters into my own hands and proceeded to distract my husband by masturbating in the front seat. No worries though, before we got home, we stopped and I gave him a blow job.

Yeah, probably not something that would rank as a PG kind of scene ... but pretty much a typical date for us.

Andee     xoxo

Sex | A Favourite Fetish

This is probably one topic that could keep going around and around as I get deeper and deeper into my sexual adventure. And while it has been a marvelous 10 years of exploring, gradually experimenting and experiencing new things, I am continually amazed at both what I learn from other people in terms of fetishes, and how my own kinks and sexual quirks seemingly evolve along the way.

I can't say that any of mine border even close to some of those truly outrageous requests I have gotten through my website and videos over the past decade ... some of which still leave me scratching my head. I think mine are relatively tame and yet still sexy enough to be intriguing and maybe a bit unusual among my offline circle of friends. Naturally, I am making a bit of an assumption there, as I don't really know what goes on behind their bedroom doors.

So when this Formspring question made an appearance, I thought "I have an answer to that!"

What is one of your favourite fetishes, and why?

Quite a while back I wrote about how I was learning to really understand what it is men like about women in stockings. For photographic reasons, I was quite comfortable with wearing them, along with the more modern version, thigh highs. But other than my wedding day, and a few steamy date nights, I had not really explored the idea of wearing hosiery as such, as part of my office attire.

And while it is something that always proves to be a worthwhile fashion choice - given the reactions it produces at home and at work - like all good fetishes, moderation is the key in keeping it exciting and erotic each time. I think if I wore them everyday, or at least every time I dressed up for work or a date, it may get a little too expected. Part of why it is a favourite fetish is the reaction of the guys, not just the ideas in my own mind.

I have definitely come to appreciate the sideways glances, and occasional downright stare, that I get from the guys I work with. Unlike some women who might see that as a precursor to sexual harassment, I'm thrilled - and somewhat turned on - but the knowledge that they consider me worthy of their lusty looks. I certainly can't complain when the whole idea is very much planned and expected on my behalf.

I think that is a big part of why I see it as being different from being "objectified." I set out with a teasing, flirting scheme in mind ... trying to be coy on my own to catch the men around me sneaking a peek. And if our eyes happen to meet, I try to give them a knowing little look that says I'm thrilled they noticed and flattered.

And even though the guys may never know if there is a garter belt holding those stockings up, or if I'm jammed into some tortuous control tops, I can't say I get the same personal feelings from pantyhose ... they are just something that I could never feel comfortable in. But stockings, and the occasional romp in thigh highs, make me feel sexy and attractive.

That's why right now, they are among my favourite fetishes. And, if you really like to see how it plays out, don't miss my latest update ... it's exactly what this blog is all about!

Andee     xoxo

The Real TMI To Yesterday's Questions

If you happened to stop by yesterday, you would have read my questions to the answers that the folks behind TMI Tuesday provided this week. Of course, if you have been paying attention to me over the past two years, you will know that I'm not one for short answers.

And even though the questions were created on the fly, I thought it might be kind of fun to dig a little deeper into the answers - because I think I have figured out that you seem to enjoy really getting into the naughty corners of my mind.

1. When using a dildo with your partner, where is the most likely spot it will end up? 

It all depends on exactly how the dildo became involved in the moment - and which dildo in my collection it is. Not too long ago, my husband bought me a new toy, strictly intended to be used for anal play during intercourse. He knows just how much the idea of being penetrated in front and back gets me extremely hot and bothered. It's a huge fantasy that we often like to play with.

However, I do own a couple of larger dildos that aren't exactly suited for that same purpose. As much as I like to think about being taken in both holes, some things are just a bit too large to make it a wild experience. Those particular toys are more than likely to be used as "torture" devices by my hubby as he torments the hell out of my pussy - and mind - with them.

2. What is the one accessory you can wear on a date to make sure you wind up getting laid?

Without question, my husband loves me in high heels. And I have learned that when I feel the need or desire for a little sexual attention, slipping on a pair of sexy stilettos is one way to guarantee I will get some.

I still remember when I first learned that my husband had a bit of a footwear fetish. At the time, we were still dating and I had borrowed a friend's pair of boots that I happened to like. At the end of the evening I was on my back, heels in the air, having an awesome time ... and would always have a little smile when I would see my friend wearing them, wondering what she would think if she knew what I did in them.

3. What is the one physical reaction you expect your answer to Question 2 will produce in your date for the night? 

Let's just say that I pretty know just how I can turn my husband on without doing too much ... a sexy little dress, a great pair of shoes and a naughty little glance will help me turn get him hard and stiff. And for those women who somehow think doing something like that is tiresome or beneath them, ie: "Why should I have to do something like that?" ... you have totally missed the lesson on seduction, and the rewards it brings.

4. What is something that you partner might say in bed that would put a damper on your sexual enthusiasm?
As I mention below, sex doesn't always have to be a serious occasion. Some fun, laughter and light-heartedness is also a good thing. However, short of referring to me by someone else's name in the height of passion or throws of orgasm, probably the one thing that would put me off is if a guy is talking to himself. The funny answer given by the folks at TMI was “By George I think he’s got it!” For me, that would be just way too weird. First, the George I know in my real life is not all that ... and secondly, it would be hard to get visions of Eliza Doolittle out of my mind.

If you don't know who she is, try reading Pygmalion by ... wait for it ... George Bernard Shaw. Or renting My Fair Lady, the musical movie version of the same story.

5. Sex doesn't always have to such a serious thing. What is the last thing you wore to bed that made your partner laugh? 

I find it amusing when I meet people who believe that sex has to be this serious, mind-blowing experience every single time. When you spend many years with the same person, you learn that sex can be fun on many different levels, from the excitement of newlywed sex through to exploring and pushing the relationship envelope inside the bedroom, it doesn't have to ever be "the same old thing."

In my relationship, we have shared tears over sex and laughs. One of the funniest moments came when I was in college and my boyfriend (who became my husband) stayed over. Canadian winters can get a little cold, and the house I was sharing with my roommates wasn't always at a tropical temperature. I was wearing a pair of wool socks to keep my feet warm when he brushed my feet with his and then said in a pretend sexy voice "Oh baby, I love how you wear things to turn me on."

It was a very hysterical moment for me at the time ... but I have since stopped wearing thick wool socks to bed. 

6. When using a washroom in a public place, what is the one thing that will make you risk wetting yourself instead of just going?

There is part of me that is intrigued by the idea of a glory hole experience. The anonymity of the situation, the thrill of doing something I happen to love doing - giving oral sex - is a turn on. However, despite the reality of what a glory hole is, I would still want the security of it being a safe and clean experience.

That said, slipping into most public bathrooms is a test for even the most relaxed germaphobe ... and if I see anything that remotely looks like a peephole, you can be guaranteed I will risk the kidney stones, and hold it until I can pee somewhere less disgusting.

Bonus:

What would you say to your partner when they accidentally discover your collection of Playgirl magazines?
I don't think I ever really got into Playgirl magazine all that much until later in life. I wasn't particularly drawn to pictoral porn; opting for the more erotic approach of the written word. Now, I have no objection to seeing photos of hot naked men with 0% body fat and hard and stiff ...

But I also don't have much reason to hide any of that.

So, the real truth behind my question to the answer: I hid them there so you wouldn’t find them ... relates a lot more to where I store my AA batteries, and how I keep them tucked away for my own battery-operated fun so that my Little Men will not find them and use them for silly things like their remotes for the video game system.

Andee     xoxo

What Can I Do Today To Make It Better

Without question, I have it pretty damn good with where I am at in my marriage right now. I have a lot of freedom to not just explore some of my sexual desires, but to openly share and discuss what goes on with my imagination and fantasies. I'm not living vicariously like a lot of people I know – people that resent their spouses and marriages for the trapped feeling they seem to endure rather than putting the effort in to make a change.

And I recognize that on here, based on the community I have kind of slid into with my blog, I am exposed to a lot of sex-positive people, couples with open marriages and wild fantasies. We’re open to share, comment, and pontificate. The same can’t be said for my real life, where I have to watch what I say and how much information I can divulge to those around me – even to some of my closest friends and family members.

But I think the amount of support, encouragement and freedom I enjoy in my sexual adventure is both a blessing and a burden. It leaves me having to explain to jealous coworkers and friends that they also have the opportunity to challenge their imaginations if they work to make it happen.

Sadly, most of them still harbour the belief that “marriage” does not fit into “adventure” and “excitement” is something “we just don’t do.”

Recently, after I had opened up about some of the more socially-acceptable experiences I have been able to enjoy with my lusting husband, my friend scoffed about her own situation – how she was beginning to get a feeling of hatred towards her spouse – and although I feel for her, some of my sympathy faded because it was evident that she felt no responsibility to correct her own problems.

I found myself asking, as I listened to her: "What is the one thing you could do today to make your sex life better?"

For me, simple: invest in more short skirts and sexy dresses to wear to work.

If you have followed along and gotten to know me, you’ll know that for the most part I’m kind of a science geek. I work in a pretty conservative and sterile environment, and it can be pretty easy to fade into the background and plod along. But, it seems I married a man who enjoys building my self-esteem and self-image up, and has worked to bring about a real metamorphosis within me.

A big part of that, outside of the emotional rewards, has been his encouragement for me to be someone who stands out and looks, in his words, drool-worthy – especially at work. And it wasn’t even about expressing my sexuality as a woman, as much as it was about adding to the overall “package.” I’m proud of being a very qualified and professional individual at my work – which has earned me a good deal of respect from my superiors. My husband’s thinking was taking what I had earned and going a little further by appearing the same way – dressing for success, so to speak.

I won’t even try to hide the fact that he did have ulterior motives – he doesn’t even try to hide the fact that he loves it when I wear heels and dresses or skirts. But, at the same time, style doesn’t need to be slutty; and dressing for success can be equal to dressing for sex if you do it right.

Naturally it took me a while to reach a comfort level with being pretty much the only one in my department that wore heels, stylish dresses and skirts. But the reactions from people around me soon became a bit of an addiction. I think everyone appreciates a compliment, but it turned me on to catch some of the men I work with taking notice of what I was wearing. It didn’t take long for that kind of attention to turn into a real aphrodisiac for me.

So, each time I push the fashion envelope at work, it seems to benefit me sexually.

I can’t say that what works in my life is going to work for anyone else, but I do know when I start to feel a little down, or not as attractive as I would like, my solution is to focus on changing the mood around me first. Once you begin to see the change in how people treat you, and can find comfort in knowing that some of it is based on sexuality, you might be amazed at how much more enjoyable getting up and going to work can be.

There will be many who think that opening yourself up, as a woman, to the attention of men in the workplace equates “sexual harassment.” In some cases they may be right … but in other situations, it’s also a case of “get over yourself and enjoy the fact you can still catch their eye.”

Andee     xoxo

Sex | The Worst Time To Be Horny

Despite the impression I may give on here and through my frequent tweets, it would be only a little delusional to think that I spend every waking hour battling with my sexual desires and thoughts. I mean, let’s be honest, it’s just not realistic. As a very normal, healthy, working Mom with a pair of exceptionally busy kids, there is an awful lot around me that inhibit those sexual distractions.

Recently, I was having a discussion with a friend about those moments when life interferes with our libidos … and just when is it the worst time to be turned on.

If you understand anything about women (in general, of course) you will recognize there is a recurring event that is not our greatest time for sexual freedom and swinging-from-the-chandeliers passion. Enough said on that …

But, realistically, there are worse times to be horny.

For me, that would be at work. And again, this is rooted in what is realistic in life. While flirting and verbal teasing can be a fun way to pass some time and release a little stress, truth be told there is very little that can be acted upon. And even if that opportunity was there, this is still my workplace.

My husband is usually the biggest culprit in getting me turned on at work. He has an incredible ability to sext his way into the heart of my sexual imagination and torment me in all the right ways. It doesn't help that he knows just what it does to me when he teases my mind in such a way ... and then continues with a day-long process of electronic foreplay/mind fuck.

There have been a few occasions where I pushed the limits on what might be acceptable behaviour for the workplace - and tempted fate by involving other people in my horny games - but mostly, the opportunity to convert that raging desire into dripping satisfaction is a big challenge. Not to mention, it's something that is truly outside of my comfort zone, no matter how turned on I might be.

I know some will offer the idea of slipping into a bathroom and employing a little finger play to find release. Naturally, I would love to have such freedom, but there are some very specific logistics that make it almost impossible to do so. Even on the occasion that I did need to bring about some sexual release, it was in a bathroom tucked away in the deep recesses of the building, and with the door locked.

The challenge for me is trying to keep my mind focused when I find myself in such a state. Truth of the matter is, I have a job to do - and it can be a very demanding job. So, to spend the day strolling around with wet panties ... that's a toughie.

Andee     xoxo