TMI Tuesday | Navigating Sex

As much as I might like to consider myself in the midst of a sexual adventure, sometimes it can be a very delicate balance between desire and disaster. But, regardless of what you might consider an "adventure," we have all found ourselves in those situations where feelings can be complicated and our sexual connections just not ... connecting.

Some interesting questions for this week's TMI Tuesday.

Answer yes or no:

• I regret my first kiss
• I miss my first love
• I married my first love
• I loved someone that didn’t love me

Hmm … don’t know if I would say any of these are extremely accurate, with the exception of marriage. I believe I have married my true love, but I also believe that we are capable of loving on many different levels.

My first kiss was pretty much what every young teen girl goes through, with a boy who just happened to be the boy of the moment. I've kissed quite a few since then, and a few girls along the way too!

I certainly don't miss my first "love" ... but wish I knew better at the time and would have been a bit more cautious about giving my heart away.

Do you consider yourself monogamous or polyamorous or some other category which you will explain or define for us now?
Mostly monogamous. We have dabbled in the swinger’s lifestyle and managed to explore sexually with other people – but we have never taken it beyond some hot, steamy moments and oral sex. Are these the opening doors of things still to come? I can’t say because, although my interest in continuing to explore is extremely high, it can be complicated when you are a finicky as me. However, we definitely don’t qualify for the polyamory category and can’t admit that we are active swingers. I suppose the category that would define us best is “sexual adventurers.” We love to explore, we love to test the limits, but at the same time we are wimpy and love the sense of security of being married and mostly monogamous.

Your partner is in the mood for sex and you are tired – what do you do?
   a) Start snoring. There is no way I’m giving it up tonight.
   b) Trade. You give me a massage…and we will see…
   c) That would never happen!
The only answer that really fits is c). But the truth is I am more for negotiations for a rain cheque. I might be tired tonight, but how about we set the alarm for a few minutes earlier in the morning?

Does your partner mind if you masturbate, in bed, while they are there?
I would say, about 50% of the time when I masturbate my husband is right there, watching and sometimes helping. I'm one of those women, as I have said a number of times, that needs a little help achieving orgasm. So, with that reality, our sex life tends to involve a fair bit of manual manipulation.

On the other side, I would love it if he would include me in more of watching him do the same, but that seems to be something he keeps to himself a great deal.

Describe your typical sexual romp:
   a) You are playful and tame
   b) You have occasionally introduced a few things like outfits and toys
   c) You love trying new things and shocking your partner
A bit of b) and a healthy dose of c). We’re beyond the “occasional” part of sex toys and naughty outfits – mostly due to the little naughty hobby we have on the side and the fact that I have a substantial collection of battery-operated marital aids, but I don’t think that our sex romps are always about trying new things. Having said that, I always love new things when sex is involved!

BONUS: What was your best ever masturbation experience? Why was it the best? Describe.
Wow, that is is tough one to answer. There's been some crazy moments for me, but I think one that stands out as one of the best is the first time that I masturbated on webcam. Masturbation tends to be a hugely private thing for me, but in the early days of my sexual adventure I was discovering a lot about the Internet and the kinkiness it can add to your evenings.

It was something that I found very exhilarating and liberating - as I had never done anything like that in front of anyone but my husband. I remember spending most of the evening teasing and tormenting with the guy I was chatting with, and watching him reveal himself to me. I was getting hornier as the night went on, and as my husband was working, it felt even naughtier.

Andee     xoxo

TMI Tuesday | Playing With Myself

So, today marks the start of another new 'journey' for me. I am now officially in my 40th year, which means I have an awful lot of ground to cover in the next 365 days so that I can hit my 40th birthday looking all that much more sexually confident, physically fit and smashingly glamourous.

And, that also means that I may actually have a bit of a renewed ambition when it comes to making certain desires, wants and fantasies come to life. Or at least writing all about them!

And now, on to all that information that you just can't get enough of every TMI Tuesday ...

1. My favorite place to masturbate is _____ ?
Yeah, not as kinky as you might believe, but my favourite place to masturbate is in my own bed. That way, when all is said an done and my heart is done racing from the sexual build-up and release, I love to curl up and fall asleep. Masturbating is an amazing way for me to relax before bedtime - and helps take my mind away from the stresses of the day.

2. Have you ever masturbated in public? What were the circumstances?
Not sure; my answer is a bit of a 'sort of.' I wrote about it before: it was a couple years ago and my husband and I were on our way home from one of those sex trade shows in the city. We were downtown and the traffic was crazy. I had already slipped off my panties back at the convention centre and figured since we were going to be sitting in the car for a bit that I would give my new sex toy a little test drive of it's own. I simply pulled up the hem of my skirt, positioned myself accordingly and let the brand new batteries take me to euphoria of a roadgasm - plus give my hubby and amazing tease and scene.

It was equally erotic as people were walking past on the sidewalks only a couple feet away from our vehicle. I remember that was one amazing orgasm ... the sensation of a new toy mixed with the excitement of being in a crowded space.

3. Do you like mutual masturbation? Why?
Yes and no, but for all really good reasons. I love it because there is something very erotic for me in watching and being there while someone is pleasuring themselves. And sharing that moment with someone has an erotic sense of vulnerability. It's opening yourself up to a very different sexual experience.

No, because it's rare that I can allow myself to wait it out. Mutual moments like that generally end up in full-out sex ... not that full-out sex is a bad thing; it just means an end to the masturbation portion of the evening. There are lots of occasions when masturbation becomes a conclusion for me, as well. I'm one of those women that does need a little extra help to reach orgasm.

4. When was the last time you masturbated?
I'm writing my answers on Monday night as we wait for the Leafs-Bruins hockey game to start ... I masturbated on Monday morning shortly after shooting some new photos for my website - 'cause a girl can get rather turned-on posing in new lingerie that a friend sent for her to wear; all that touching my breasts and playing with my pussy while my husband snaps photos. Yep, I think I might masturbate again tonight.

5. Have you ever masturbated on camera?
Yes ... for both recorded video and on webcam. I still make new recorded videos every now and then for purposes other than just adding a bit of kink to my sex life. I mean, why keep the fun all to myself, and since I have received a few requests along the way from guys who want to watch ...

6. Do you like to watch people masturbate?
Call me kinky, but I love watching another person pleasuring themselves. I have had the wonderful opportunity to watch a couple men do that in front of me in person - and good lord, it's a massive turn-on for me. I would love to have the same opportunity with another woman. I have watched on camera and amateur videos, but not while I was right there just a couple feet away as she brought herself to orgasm. Now that would be yummy ...

BONUS: Have you filmed yourself masturbating? Care to share that film via a link?
Take your pick ... follow the video button and you can find several different videos of me masturbating, and a couple in which someone else does all the work on me!

Andee     xoxo

Relationships | How Not To Get Laid

So there I was, wasting a little time at lunch instead of being social with co-workers that I’m not really interested in being social with, when I did the unthinkable yet again – I read some drivel from yet another wannabe Carrie Bradshaw, who still hasn’t figured out that she is just a fictional character crafted by a group of writers who probably never served as magazine columnists in New York. Strangely, this wannabe was male … not that there’s anything wrong with that.

The article this time was about “sexy” moves that your guy just doesn’t find sexy from a guy’s point of view. Now, this one wasn’t as full of rubbish as some of the others, but I still had to choke down my Cajun chicken to get through some of the advice.

Part of the article relies on the assumption that if you are actually dating right now, the guy you are dating must be a lazy idiot. No, not because he is dating you, but because he has absolutely no sexual creativity and must be spoon-fed sex because it is your responsibility to continually “please your man.” Except now, as a woman, you must learn to understand that he only wants it when he wants it – and that having to put any effort into the “tease” takes too much of his time away from important things, like picking his fantasy croquette team or something like that.

Shower sex … especially on weekday mornings.

"Unless you have a seat in there, a shower romp is never as fun as it sounds. Who gets to stand under the water? And she can't like it when she goes down on me and there's scalding hot water blasting her in the face."

If you can’t figure out how to position yourself in the shower so she’s not getting water in face when she is doing something to make you feel sexy and desirable, then I’ll make sure you have some extra conditioner in there because from now on the only lube you’ll be getting on your clean Johnson will be spread with your own hand while you jerk off to those stories your buddy from work tells you about the things his wife does to him.

Hint you're in the mood, then play hard to get and make him work at seducing you.

“Just what a guy wants when he gets home from work: more work. The chase is a game for those who've just met. When you're in a new relationship, you're so excited, you'll try anything. I once spent three weeks eating at vegan restaurants just because a girl was cute (and vegan). Of course, I'd grab a cheeseburger afterward. But still, that's working for it!”

You know what’s work? Trying to get the mustard stain off the crotch of your pants after you’ve eaten that cheeseburger, you slob. But fear not buddy, you can bemoan your lack of understanding of women while you drop a few more coins into the washing machine at the laundromat when you go with your other newly-single friend … and compare notes of which conditioner feels better to masturbate with in the shower.

Wear a top with a million little buttons and slowly undo them while he watches.

“Is it cool if I watch baseball till you finish? This sounds more goofy than sexy. Sure, most guys enjoy a striptease, but there's a reason strippers don't wear tops like that. Namely, there are few things less hot than unbuttoning a million buttons. Guys like it when you take off your clothes, but it's better if it doesn't take half an inning to get to the main event.”

Well, I bet you love those cheapass t-shirts from Walmart better because that’s the only place you’ll meet your next big thing. Oh, and the stripper thing? Yes, they don’t wear button down shirts like your wife or girlfriend … but unlike your brass pole fantasy we don’t make your dick ooze puss and burn when you pee. Yeah, that’s hot – in a not so delightful way. Hope she was worth the $20 bucks you stuffed in her g-string before you wagged your inch-worm out from your best pair of sweat pants.

Buy a super-pricey, super-vampy little lingerie number for his eyes only.

“The only time a guy notices lingerie is when it's hard to take off. Sexy lingerie is kind of a nonstarter. If it makes you feel sexy, great. Go for it. But if you're wearing it to turn a guy on, just know it doesn't do as much for us as you might think. If I already know what's under there, then what's the point?”

Which is why your Internet browsing history is full of links to pantyhose and stocking fetish sites, right? And why does that Victoria’s Secret catalogue come to the house in your name? Or maybe this year we can say no gift-wrapping for your Christmas presents?

It’s sad that men like this have grown up too lazy to know that unwrapping her is half the fun. But no, they would rather just fuck and be done with it so they could get back to the sports channel. And they wonder why their lives are miserable and empty. Come on, can’t women see how great a catch you really are?

But, I know this, the minute your wife or girlfriend starts wearing nothing but droopy old sweats and cheeseburger stained t-shirts is the minute you’ll bitch about how she doesn’t bother trying to improve her appearance and try to start looking kind of like that hot little intern in accounting who always shows a flash of her lace bra under her button down… oh wait … I forgot, you don’t like lingerie and buttons. You’re more into the Velcro look like that stripper was wearing the other night.
 

Grr…

There was a whole lot more I could have said about this absolute nonsense, but after scoffing for a few minutes, I realized that this poor sap of a writer probably goes home to an apartment still decorated with fond memories of college and not a hot and sexy woman waiting in nothing but a $300 band of ribbon from an upscale lingerie shop.

Thankfully both my own personal experience with men and many commenters on the article indicate that these kinds of ideas are far from the norm. In fact, the few men I do know who even closely talk along these lines are usually not the kind of men who I think get a lot of this kind of action anyway.

As for me, I’m OK with this ridiculousness … because for all the men with an attitude like this out there, I immediately feel so much more fortunate for having one in my life who will break every man rule in the book to get me into the “sexy.” But that said, I admit we don’t usually shower together in the morning; he is way too exhausted from: the chase, the seduction, the buttons and the lingerie.

Andee     xoxo

 

Masturbation | What Women Don't Get

I don’t think I’ve ever shied away from admitting that one of my favourite sexual pastimes is masturbation. For me, playing with myself is a brilliant stress reliever and a great way to revisit a fantasy within my imagination at the same time.

A while back, I got into a discussion with a male friend about the difference in how masturbation is perceived by men and women, and what those might be. He was wondering if there is anything women still don't get about masturbation. I assured him that I got masturbation quite effectively – and in fact planned to enjoy it later that evening – if I wasn't able to organize something a little more substantial. I always love those moments when you see the expression on their face as what I had just said sinks in and the mental image takes over.

Joking aside, what he was really wondering was if there was anything women don’t quite understand about male masturbation ...

I think many women in heterosexual relationships struggle with the notion that their partner will dabble in some self love believing the man no longer has any desire for intimacy. They experience a sense of rejection; fearing the concept of not being sexually appealing enough for their husbands, and struggle with the self-doubt that so many women have ... especially as they age and don't feel as attractive as they once were. But masturbation isn't about replacement – it's more about opportunity. It's only an issue when it reaches that stage.

At the same time, I know many women in heterosexual relationships who are perfectly content to let their partner dabble in self love. These are the women who view sex as a chore – usually the same women who I hear about from my sexually frustrated male friends.

I do believe there are women who are left feeling somewhat short-changed by the idea that their partner would opt for some masturbation versus sex. It comes down to context, when you think about it.

On a personal level, I don't get why men won't invite their partners to share in the moment; be an observer. I love to watch my husband pleasure himself. It's a highly erotic experience to witness.
 
But, it is a two-sided argument – as many women find sexual relief through a little manual manipulation and battery-operated banging. If they didn't, the sex toy industry would be almost non-existent. And there are men who feel that they have been replaced by some dildo modeled after the rather large member of a porn star; or they feel inadequate for the same reasons.

Which is something women don't get when it comes to men understanding why we masturbate.

Andee     xoxo

Fast Friday | Pure Randomness

Hey guys! Hope everyone is getting ready for the festive season! I love the holidays and all the excitement, but I have to admit that as I get older, the hustle and bustle wears me down faster.

And since we’re all running in top gear these days, I thought a quick little blog update might be more in line with the pace of our busy days. So, here’s a quick little something I’m calling my Fast Friday Five … five quick and easy questions that I can’t write a whole entry about, but have made their way to my inbox over the past few months.

Do you have a sexy nickname? How did you get it?
Well, my name for all my online fun is Andee – and maybe not as exciting as something like “Hot Lips” or “Lover Buns” but it is the name associated with all the naughty stuff I do here and on my website. The name came from a childhood friend who struggled to pronounce my real name. She still calls me that today; if she only knew!

What’s your favorite sexual position?
This question is always a huge struggle for me … I hate to pick just one. However, as I need to narrow it down, I love doggy-style the most. There is a lot to be said for having a guy enter me in that way; feeling him slide along all the most sensitive spots inside me … yum! Second to that would be the boring ol’ missionary, but mostly because I love kissing. And kissing while having sex … yowza!

But let’s be honest, anytime I am getting laid, that is the position I like to be in!

Do you prefer ice cubes or hot wax?
I have yet to experiment with hot wax … and while the ice cube experience was delightfully erotic on a very hot summer night, and the sensation of the cool water dribbling down my thighs was kind of cool, having the cock-shaped ice cube inside my pussy was friggin’ cold. I guess I should have tried the newlywed version of just using an ice cube to make my nipples stand out. But apparently the sensation of his hot erection slipping deep into my chilled pussy was amazing.

Do you like rough sex or smooth sex?
Yes …

Ok … each has its specific appeal. Sometimes there is nothing hotter than a very raunchy, tie me to the bed and torture me with sex toys evening, but I also enjoy a passionate, emotionally-driven tender night on occasion. Most of our sex life falls somewhere in the middle of these two extremes, but mixing things up every now and then keeps it all very hot and fresh.

Have you ever cross-dressed?
Um, no ... but even if I did, it’s probably not as kinky for a woman these days to dress up like a man as it is for one of you guys to slip on some of my favourite Fredericks of Hollywood lingerie and stockings and head out for a night on the town.

So there you guys, a few quick and easy answers to hopefully keep you sexually amused on what is surely a crazy Friday for you. It is for me.

Andee     xoxo

It's Bound to be Erotic

One of the most obvious things about me - if you follow any of the drivel I write on here and my Twitter account - is how much I enjoy reading. I think it is a bit of a lost art in today's culture, as I know too many people who could use an introduction to a good book; such as a dictionary or Grade 8 grammar text book.

And while a lot of what I read may not rank high among literary masterpieces, quite a few always lead to some interesting debates. These days it's hard to find anyone who does not have an opinion on the most talked about book of 2012, Fifty Shades of Grey.

The naughty, but not exactly well-written, trilogy has opened the door for many conversations and now, some 10 months since the books peaked in popularity, there is a bit of a baby boom ... and no wonder. Regardless of your or my opinion on the quality of the writing, pop culture consumed these en masse. And couples were all of a sudden exploring in the bedroom.

Heck, even at the Everything To Do With Sex Show a few weeks back, almost every vendor was trying to capitalize on the increased interest in bondage.

I mentioned that in passing to a few of my more open-minded coworkers and we soon found ourselves immersed in a discussion on what is erotic and what is too much.

I have some pretty clear rules when it comes to exploring the world of bondage, domination and submission: nothing that causes pain; nothing that humiliates; and nothing that crosses the line in terms of our marriage vows.

Outside of that, there are many aspects of the "Fifty Shades" experience that excite me; and I'm not even touching on the ridiculousness of the plot. I have no delusions of meeting a rich, young, handsome man with nothing better to do in life than strap virgins onto a St. Andrew's cross in a personal playroom somewhere in Seattle.

One of those aspects is how in my own bedroom, things have been a bit more "bound and determined" when it comes to being playful. Being blindfolded and teased is a highly erotic experience for me. It touches on a desire in me to be dominated, but at the same time falls right into my safety zone. For my husband, it allows him the opportunity to do some of those things to me that I typically do to myself. He can indulge in the erotic thrill of my forced orgasm, using a toy on me while I am totally incapable of bringing myself to one.

Eroticism requires a heightened level of anticipation. It goes beyond just the physical stimulation, but plays on the imagination at the same time. Which means the unknown of what sensation to expect next when being blindfolded enhances the excitement for me ... and I know I'm not alone in this. Ethel Person of Columbia University reports that 51% of women imagine being forced to have sex and another 33% get off on pretending to be a slave who must obey a man’s every wish.

And it's not just Person saying it. According to many studies, exploring a submissive role is one of the leading sexual fantasies for women. Psychology Today estimates that between 31% and 57% of women entertain fantasies where they are forced to have sex.

For many women, it is a safe way to be bad, permission to be naughty in a way that is still a little shocking.

Andee     xoxo

Sex | The Unexpected Moments

There is something to be said about still being able to be surprised sexually at this stage in my life. It's not that I have a wealth of experience compared to some of the people I read about online, but knowing what a lot of the people in my offline life think, I've done a lot. And while I know there are so many things yet to be discovered, and many things that I would love to do all over again, what really gets me going are the spontaneous sex acts that still pop up every now and then.

To me, there is something really erotic about a sexual moment that is completely unplanned.

With that in mind, when this question popped up a while back, I thought it would make for an intriguing Formspring Friday update.

What was the most unexpected sexual experience you've ever had?

There's a few spontaneous quickies that easily come to mind, but the biggest unexpected sexual event in my life has to be the time when my husband and I literally could not wait to get home to get busy and we ended up parking on the side of a quiet dirt road and having sex in the cornfield.

Sure, it may not rate as wild and crazy as going at it on the elevator ride to the top of the Eiffel Tower, or having my skirt lifted from behind in the middle of a concert while the crowd rocked out to some hair metal. But for me it marks the real beginning of my sexual adventure ... the point in time when all the pillow talk and heat-of-the-moment fantasies turned into reality.

I've blogged about it before, but as a refresher ...

We had made all the plans to visit a lifestyle club after doing some research and careful planning. The night turned out to be quite hot - including me dancing topless in a crowd of people. That was a huge leap for me in my discovery. After having the time of our life at the club, we headed towards home. It was in the car when we realized just how horny we both were - now away from the music and crowd and able to talk about things. I was so turned on that it didn't take much for me to lift up the hem of my tiny dress and proceed to masturbate myself to two quick orgasms.

It was more than my poor husband could take ... he found a remote side road, backed our car into a field lane and then proceeded to drill me hard from behind. I left the handprints on the back windshield for weeks as a reminder of our naughtiness.

Sure, not as crazy as a lot of other people's experiences, but for me at that point of time in my life and marriage, this was a huge step towards a whole new level of intimacy in my relationship with my husband and myself. I learned so much about myself during that experience - which is what made it that much more unexpected.

On a more strictly-sexual level, the most recent unexpected moment came this summer following a coworker's stag and doe party. My husband had been toying with me all day about wearing a sexy little skirt and going commando. Knowing this was a party where people I worked with would be, I was reluctant to fulfill his wish outright. Close to the end of the evening, I slipped into the ladies room, removed the tiny panties I had been wearing and upon returning to our table, slipped them into his pocket.

In the elevator ride down to the parking lot, we enjoyed a very passionate kiss and quick fondle. I was expecting a bit of a playful ride home - much like the earlier description of me masturbating in the front seat as we cruised along. As we got to our truck, my husband pulled me along to the back and picked up on the kissing. As he did, he slid his hand under my skirt and began to play with my wet pussy.

Then, unexpectedly, he dropped to his knees, hiked up my skirt and proceeded to lick me thoroughly. After several minutes, he stood up and kissed me deeply so I could get a very delicious taste of me on him. Just as I figured I was going to get another good pounding from behind, the interior light from a car parked a few down from us came on. I'm not sure how long - or even if he was - sitting in the driver's seat, but part of me still gets a little excited by the idea that we may have given him a great late night show.

Once we got home, I led my date down the side of the house and then gave him a blowjob as a little extra something to end the night.

Andee     xoxo

TMI Tuesday | Love, Sex and Cum

The fact that today is the day my Little Men go back to school should be orgasm-worthy enough. Anyone who has children will certainly appreciate that feeling. I love summer, and I love my kids, but the last couple weeks of vacation always seem to be the ones that turn it all from relaxation to the typical mantra of "I'm bored."

And at the same time, I'm also a little sad that the summer is reaching its end. This one just flew by for me, and half of the excitement and adventure I had hoped for never seemed to materialize. Maybe karma is thinking that autumn might need to be a hot one ... here's hoping!

This week’s TMI Tuesday questions come from the wacky, inventive, and sexually creative mind of the late phoenix.

1. We are all incurable sex addicts, but name one thing—a job, a passion, a creative outlet, a collection—of yours you use as a replacement, a distraction from constantly thinking about sex 24/7.
For me, the reality is the opposite. I use sex, and thinking about sex, as the distraction from the insanity that swirls around me. My job is very demanding, and sometimes emotionally difficult, so it can consume a lot of my conscious mind. From there, I go home to a somewhat equally taxing environment - not because of my marriage, but because I have two very busy Little Men (each with their own unique challenges and needs) and a mountain of bills (because no matter how much you dream, there is always some sort of debt to be paid). Trying to keep a household afloat and two growing young men on a positive path is a massive undertaking at the best of times.

And so, because all these other things in life are so consuming, my husband and I consciously set out on this sexual adventure I have blogged about for the past couple years. We have worked (and still continue to work at) shedding some of the hang-ups we have and try to fulfill as many of our passions, desires and fantasies as we can. Connected to that, my website has become an escape for me; somewhere that I can be a fantasy woman and all those wild sexual ideas that escape me during my real life.

2. Have you ever loved somebody so much you thought having sex with them would actually sully the pristine purity of that love?
I can't say I have. I think I am, once again, more on the opposite side of this: someone who has deep feelings for another person and has a strong desire to take it to the ultimate intimacy. With the people in my life that I have a sexual interest in, my mind tends to wander towards ideas of what it would be like to be naked, sweaty and in the throws of passion with them. Forbidden fruit tastes even sweeter ... sometimes.

3. If you could make love to yourself, would you? Describe this experience in full detail.
First, I would take me out to dinner - and if I ordered the lobster bisque, I would be seriously expecting to get laid later.

Since I already know what it takes to get me hot, wet and sexually enthusiastic, there would be a lot of kissing and gentle touching to begin with. I would make sure to pay careful attention to as many of my erogenous zones possible before I made any move that was overtly sexual. I was spend a good long time teasing my nipples with kisses and nibbles, until they were rock hard and pointing straight out. From there, I would begin the long, sensual process of working my way down to my pussy. First I would gently play with it with my fingers, taking my time to get there with my mouth.

Then, when I knew I was beyond turning back, I would begin to lick and gently suck on my clit, rubbing the tip of my tongue along the spot that I know sends those orgasmic shivers right through my body. At the same time I would slide two fingers deep into me, rubbing against my g-spot, working both until I could sense the building orgasm, the tension of the muscles, the pushing back against my fingers and mouth ... the swelling of my clit until everything reached a crescendo of throbbing, pulsing release.

Yowza ... now I'm quite turned on.

4. Cum, are you a fan? Explain and expound.
Yes, a huge fan. I love watching a man cum, I love making a man cum ... and I absolutely love it when he cums in my mouth. It took me a while to acquire a taste for that last statement, but as I became more experienced at using my oral talents to tease and torment a man, the more I enjoyed giving blowjobs. I think part of the experience is the ego boost that comes with knowing you can bring your partner to the height of pleasure. Seeing a man cum is the biggest reward for the sexual efforts I have put in to helping him achieve that orgasm.

Most recently, my husband did something relatively new in our sex life. Most times he just lets go with one big push while he is still inside me, but this time he pulled out and came all over the outside of my pussy. Looking down to watch him shoot on to me, and then the sensation of using his cum as lubricant for my vibrator was incredible.

5. Does it creep you out to know that God is watching you as you’re fucking?
If He is watching, then I might as well be entertaining. Not to mention, usually during a good session I am singing His praises anyway.

Bonus: Tell us something sexy that happened to you this week.
Hmm ... tough one, given the workload I had and the madness of getting the Little Men ready to return to school.

The week before back to school tends to be a whirlwind here. My little Little Man had back to back weekend baseball tournaments, then there's the back to school shopping and preparation, easing out of the summer routine into the more familiar and regular school routine...work...work...and getting ready for hockey tryouts. Spare time for something sexual and fun is a monsterous challenge.

That said, on Friday I was not at work, and was able to find a bit of time for myself in the morning. I was reading one of my more erotic books while taking a break in my bedroom. After one of the more sexual scenes, I was left quite turned on, so I reached into my night table for my favourite toy and worked myself into quite a delightful orgasm.

_____________________________________________

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Andee     xoxo

The Real TMI To Yesterday's Questions

If you happened to stop by yesterday, you would have read my questions to the answers that the folks behind TMI Tuesday provided this week. Of course, if you have been paying attention to me over the past two years, you will know that I'm not one for short answers.

And even though the questions were created on the fly, I thought it might be kind of fun to dig a little deeper into the answers - because I think I have figured out that you seem to enjoy really getting into the naughty corners of my mind.

1. When using a dildo with your partner, where is the most likely spot it will end up? 

It all depends on exactly how the dildo became involved in the moment - and which dildo in my collection it is. Not too long ago, my husband bought me a new toy, strictly intended to be used for anal play during intercourse. He knows just how much the idea of being penetrated in front and back gets me extremely hot and bothered. It's a huge fantasy that we often like to play with.

However, I do own a couple of larger dildos that aren't exactly suited for that same purpose. As much as I like to think about being taken in both holes, some things are just a bit too large to make it a wild experience. Those particular toys are more than likely to be used as "torture" devices by my hubby as he torments the hell out of my pussy - and mind - with them.

2. What is the one accessory you can wear on a date to make sure you wind up getting laid?

Without question, my husband loves me in high heels. And I have learned that when I feel the need or desire for a little sexual attention, slipping on a pair of sexy stilettos is one way to guarantee I will get some.

I still remember when I first learned that my husband had a bit of a footwear fetish. At the time, we were still dating and I had borrowed a friend's pair of boots that I happened to like. At the end of the evening I was on my back, heels in the air, having an awesome time ... and would always have a little smile when I would see my friend wearing them, wondering what she would think if she knew what I did in them.

3. What is the one physical reaction you expect your answer to Question 2 will produce in your date for the night? 

Let's just say that I pretty know just how I can turn my husband on without doing too much ... a sexy little dress, a great pair of shoes and a naughty little glance will help me turn get him hard and stiff. And for those women who somehow think doing something like that is tiresome or beneath them, ie: "Why should I have to do something like that?" ... you have totally missed the lesson on seduction, and the rewards it brings.

4. What is something that you partner might say in bed that would put a damper on your sexual enthusiasm?
As I mention below, sex doesn't always have to be a serious occasion. Some fun, laughter and light-heartedness is also a good thing. However, short of referring to me by someone else's name in the height of passion or throws of orgasm, probably the one thing that would put me off is if a guy is talking to himself. The funny answer given by the folks at TMI was “By George I think he’s got it!” For me, that would be just way too weird. First, the George I know in my real life is not all that ... and secondly, it would be hard to get visions of Eliza Doolittle out of my mind.

If you don't know who she is, try reading Pygmalion by ... wait for it ... George Bernard Shaw. Or renting My Fair Lady, the musical movie version of the same story.

5. Sex doesn't always have to such a serious thing. What is the last thing you wore to bed that made your partner laugh? 

I find it amusing when I meet people who believe that sex has to be this serious, mind-blowing experience every single time. When you spend many years with the same person, you learn that sex can be fun on many different levels, from the excitement of newlywed sex through to exploring and pushing the relationship envelope inside the bedroom, it doesn't have to ever be "the same old thing."

In my relationship, we have shared tears over sex and laughs. One of the funniest moments came when I was in college and my boyfriend (who became my husband) stayed over. Canadian winters can get a little cold, and the house I was sharing with my roommates wasn't always at a tropical temperature. I was wearing a pair of wool socks to keep my feet warm when he brushed my feet with his and then said in a pretend sexy voice "Oh baby, I love how you wear things to turn me on."

It was a very hysterical moment for me at the time ... but I have since stopped wearing thick wool socks to bed. 

6. When using a washroom in a public place, what is the one thing that will make you risk wetting yourself instead of just going?

There is part of me that is intrigued by the idea of a glory hole experience. The anonymity of the situation, the thrill of doing something I happen to love doing - giving oral sex - is a turn on. However, despite the reality of what a glory hole is, I would still want the security of it being a safe and clean experience.

That said, slipping into most public bathrooms is a test for even the most relaxed germaphobe ... and if I see anything that remotely looks like a peephole, you can be guaranteed I will risk the kidney stones, and hold it until I can pee somewhere less disgusting.

Bonus:

What would you say to your partner when they accidentally discover your collection of Playgirl magazines?
I don't think I ever really got into Playgirl magazine all that much until later in life. I wasn't particularly drawn to pictoral porn; opting for the more erotic approach of the written word. Now, I have no objection to seeing photos of hot naked men with 0% body fat and hard and stiff ...

But I also don't have much reason to hide any of that.

So, the real truth behind my question to the answer: I hid them there so you wouldn’t find them ... relates a lot more to where I store my AA batteries, and how I keep them tucked away for my own battery-operated fun so that my Little Men will not find them and use them for silly things like their remotes for the video game system.

Andee     xoxo

A New Twist On My Panty Strategy

Earlier this week on Twitter I made a promise that one of the days I would have a little bit of fun and head to work “commando.” It was something that, once again, came from my brilliant ability to pick the winning side of some bets. I’m still not going to disclose exactly what day that will be, other than to point out that other than today, there are only two work days left. Naturally that will give everyone a bit of time to use their imagination and ponder the prospects … but when you get right down to it, we’re all naked under our clothes!

When I posted that silly little comment on Twitter, one of my followers sent me a question on the subject of crotchless panties, and if they were something that I wore. And since I have very little shame over where ideas come from that I can turn into something for everyone to read, I thought, “hey, I should blog about that!”

The easy answer is to the question is: no.

The long answer is much more intriguing for you, I’m sure. After all, you guys really seem to enjoy the ideas around my panties and the thought that goes into my personal panty strategy. (Just so you know, as I am writing this, I'm wearing a comfortable red pair with a lace waistband.)

I guess, other than for some visual fun, and maybe a photo update or two on my website, I can’t really grasp the purpose in having crotchless panties. From a woman’s perspective, they are not practical for a big part of the reason why we wear panties in the first place. From a style perspective, I’m not sure why I would go to the trouble of trying to convince you guys that I was wearing panties when it is way more entertaining to mess with your minds as you try to figure out if I am actually wearing any. I guess unlike some women, I don’t mind if you want to stare just a little bit longer as I walk by, knowing full well you are looking to see if there are any visible panty lines.

But I will also be honest with you; I invest a great deal of thought into what I slip into most days. Having sexy panties and bras are one of my true vices, and I feel that much sexier when I know that what is under my clothes is something you would enjoy seeing. Now, having said that, don’t assume that I am also one of those women that go around making sure there’s enough visibility hanging out for you to see. No, I prefer that you work it out in your mind, or at least hurt your neck trying to sneak a peek up my skirt or down my top.

Occasionally, if you’ve been good, I might relent just a little and uncross my legs slowly enough to tease, or sit at a precarious angle that does not allow my hem to hide my traditional aura of mystique.

Back to the crotchless idea though … I suppose one of the benefits might be the access they promise. Perhaps they are more useful in the situation when I am wearing a garter belt? I haven’t tried, but let me assure you that, in spite of the sexual heat stockings and garters can bring to the day, they do pose some logistical challenges when nature calls … or when you might want to slip into that certain secret spot and allow for some better access to all the sensitive parts with greater ease. It’s not always the most comfortable situation to have things yanked to the side, if you know what I mean.

Anyway, those are my thoughts. I would love to hear from anyone that has some better insight to offer … because who knows, I might be willing to give them a try too!

Andee     xoxo

Sex | My First Time Between Her Legs

This week sure took its time coming to an end. I guess because it is our holiday weekend up here for Canada Day that made it seem to be even longer. Regardless, I just have today to put in and then off for three glorious days!

As I was trying to think about what naughtiness I could get up to this weekend, I figured a good place to start would be going back to something I haven’t done in quite some time. I have let some of my Formspring questions go by the wayside, and so today I am picking one of the more explicit ones to get your Friday really steamed up.

“What was it like for you when you first went down on another woman?”

Oh, wow … how can I put that experience in words? Other than “Oh, wow!”

I’ll be honest, I was feeling a huge mix of excitement, fear, horniness … and if I’m not mistaken, a healthy dose of alcohol-induced bravery.

The one thing that remains in my mind today is how much I enjoyed how she tasted. I think that tends to be people’s biggest initial fear when doing something orally sexual for the first time. And it’s hard to explain why I had that notion, as by the time the opportunity presented itself, I was very sexually experienced.

The erotic nature of the moment was also heightened by the fact that both our husbands were watching.

After a healthy amount of foreplay between all of us, and her having already gotten a very good taste of me, it was my turn to finally answer some of the curiosities I had in my mind. I followed the same kind of idea that my own partners have done in that same position, slowly working my way down her body until I was directly between her spread thighs. I gently touched her with my fingers at first, getting my first very close look at her pussy.

I teased her for just a minute with my fingers before edging in close enough to touch her with my tongue. I ran the tip along both side of her moist cunt before setting in on her swollen clit. It didn’t take long for my fear of the unknown to disappear and my curiosities to be confirmed – I loved every second of it.

The more I worked her over with her mouth, the more she moaned these sexy little moans, then grabbed at my head. All of a sudden I totally got why my husband loved it when I reacted in the same fashion.

By the end of the whole experience, I was dripping from burying my tongue deep into her. And in my own mind, I knew this was something I would remember fondly – and seek to repeat many times over.

Andee     xoxo

Random Thoughts On A Saturday Morning

I woke up early this morning; a little bit horny and an awful lot frustrated. I think my mind and body is pretty much programmed to wake up at the same time every day now - despite the fact that it's my friggin' day off!

Since I'm not really one to spend the quiet time surfing porn while everyone else sleeps, I thought I would at least try to get something written for you. This past week and a bit has been incredibly crazy between work and home that I barely had time to think.

So, with me being just a little horny and waiting for a better time today to take care of all that, I thought I would go back through a couple of the questions I have been sent, asked, read, etc. to make up for being a little absent this week.

What’s the most unusual item you have used during sex that really turned you on and rocked your world?
I had to really think about this one ... and necessarily to narrow it down! It's not like I have experimented with a huge collection of unusual objects in my life. I was turned on to sex toys shortly after I turned 18, and from there everything was pretty standard in terms of vibrating penis-shaped objects.

But the one thing that stands out as one of the most memorable items was the one that led to me getting my first sex toy. At the time, I was not yet married, but dating the man who would become my husband. We were about 18 months into our relationship when I went to spend the weekend with him at his apartment. He had recently moved away for work, so we were trying to make the long distance thing work. This also meant that most weekends were spent fucking like rabbits because we were so horny from being apart.

On this particular night, I had worn a cute little dress - because if there is one thing about my husband, he love me in a dress. He had bought some wine and prepared a nice meal for us; a very romantic gesture. After dinner, we put in a movie and sat on the couch and finished off the wine, made out and generally just got ourselves worked up into a sexual lather.

I had in mind that I really wanted to leave him with something naughty to think about for the following week when we were apart, so after he had performed oral sex on me I stopped him just before he was going to slip his erect cock into me. I took the empty wine bottle and began to run the open neck along my pussy lips. There was just a dribble left in the bottle, so I tipped it up and let the last taste drip onto me. I asked him to see how that tasted, and he went back to licking me for all he was worth. Then, when he came up for air, I held the bottle against me and began to slide it in.

I proceeded to fuck myself with the empty bottle for a few minutes, then let him lick me once again before he got his chance to slide his erection into my now very wet, very ready pussy.

Afterwards, when we were both completely spent, he told me how much of a huge turn-on it was for him to watch me do that. The next weekend when I came to visit, he told me he could not stop thinking about that night and presented me with a little gift - my first vibrator.

Ever since that time, toys - and the occasional wine bottle - have been a regular part of my sex life.

Have you ever done the "Walk of Shame?"

Not in the same sense as the question implies. I have never had a one-night stand, and the vast majority of my sexual experiences relate to the man I am now with.

That said, even with being married, there are a few occasions that I can recall where I have woken up - now sober - and thought "Holy shit, did I really do what I did last night?" Some of those are confessional things I might have admitted to in a sexual-charged, alcohol-induced wildness ... and others have been sexual experiences that didn't turn out exactly like the fantasy I had in my head, such as our foursome frolicking with another couple.

Not really "walk of shame" events, but definitely "did I really do that?" moments.

What is the one sentence that gives you an immediate ego boost?

This is a bit of a tough one. You get a very ... hmm ... twisted perspective of me on here. I write about the thoughts, ideas and desires I have in my mind; and share some of the experiences along the way. It tends to be very condensed and thought-out. I'm not a vain person in real life, I don't share a lot of information about me in person, and I'm generally shy and reserved until I get to know you.

Having prefaced all that, these days I have been trying very hard to ramp up my wardrobe and look a lot nicer/sexier for work. What really sets my heart fluttering and my pussy tingling is when one of the guys (that I am not married to) says:

"Wow, you look amazing."

Andee     xoxo 

Flirting | A Sexy Birthday Gift

I wasn’t intending to turn this into a blog, but after a few requests for more information, I figured it made sense – plus a chance to revisit the whole experience in my mind again. I almost think I should have made this more of a Fantasy Friday, given how long it is; but let’s call it a Short-Week Sexcapade instead.

If you happen to be one of my followers on Twitter, you’ll know that Tuesday was another one of those “fun” days for me; “fun” meaning when things get a little hot as opposed to the Family Channel kind of fun. As usual, my tweets were sometimes a little cryptic, sometimes directed at specific individuals, and I tried to answer as many of your tweets along the way.

In my little game here, I have pretty clear rules when it comes to what happens at work and keeping it all hot and exciting by sharing those events through Twitter. It’s something that my husband thought up, and so you all get to be included in the adventure as well. It has also become an easy and anonymous way for some of my real-life friends to connect with the naughty side of me.

Anyway, it had been a long weekend here, and returning to work on Tuesday coincided with a certain Office Guy’s birthday. As a good friend I had been thinking what I should get for him. I couldn’t give him something practical because our relationship, with all its kinks and quirks, is not something he shares with anyone – especially his wife. I also had reservations about some of the suggestions that came from my own spouse. He tends to be a bit braver on my behalf than I really am.

I knew my day would be interesting when I noticed a couple of items my husband set out for me. I had already planned to dress up a little – but he often finds ways to add a certain “element” to that. This time I found my new hot pink bra and panties and black back-seam thigh highs that I had purchased on my birthday date set out with my dress. I guess I knew they would make an appearance at some point …

By the time I was ready to head out and catch the train, I was feeling pretty good about myself. When I know the man I have at home is drooling over how I look, it helps go a long way. After all, despite my flirtatious ways with my friend, my husband is the man I am trying to seduce at the end of the day.

The second big boost came shortly after I settled into my usual spot on the morning train, when my still-anonymous Cute Guy arrived on the scene, and happened to notice me (yes!!!!) and flash me that “I so want to kiss you” smile. OK, maybe my imagination embellishes that a little, but you know me.

The first inclination of how my workday might play out came at our morning coffee break. I had casually stopped by my Office Guy’s office at the end of my first round, just to say Happy Birthday and see how his day was going. As is his usual habit, he made a nice compliment about how I looked. I turned slightly and let him see that my hosiery had a seam that ran up the back of my leg. He asked if it went “all the way up” … and so I slipped inside the door, so not to be seen, and hiked up my dress so he could see that I was wearing thigh highs. I said “only that high up” and smiled and off I went to enjoy my break with a few of my friends from my department.

Later that morning, I happened to see him in the hall. We stopped and chatted as we usually do, and then he leaned in an whispered in my ear about how much he liked the little peek I had given him earlier … and described the reaction it had on him. I answered back that if he liked the preview, he would enjoy his gift later.

Lunch was my next opportunity to stoke the fire more. We have managed to continually – and seemingly without drawing attention – sit directly across from each other at these events. It’s perfect, in that, we don’t give away our naughty secret but we still have adequate chances to tease, torment and torture each other. For example, my Office Guy has a thing for: a) hosiery, b) feet and c) foot jobs. I know this from experience and conversation.

Tuesday was no different. While everyone was foolishly asking about work, complaining about this, that and the other thing, I was removing my shoe and then sliding my foot up the inside of his leg. As he shuffled his chair into the table – as if to lean in closer to our coworkers’ conversation – I was able to gently stroke his growing erection with my toes. However, too much of this can be torturous, so I didn’t continue for a long period of time … just enough to remind him of how much fun we can have.

Lunch continued with the usual amount of collective banter and general birthday chatter until it was time to head back and actually earn our keep.

I’m sure many of you must think that my workplace must be something like Grey’s Anatomy; but it’s not, really. It’s much worse. Actually, while you enjoy all the crazy ideas that go on in my mind, half the time I am tweeting some of the nonsense while running off to make a delivery to one of the floors, or standing in the elevator, the line-up in the coffee shop … you get the idea. Naughty multi-tasking blended with mortgage-paying labour.

Throughout the day I had been posting cryptic messages, hints, etc. for my Office Guy to read – and as designed, for my own hubby to keep up on the antics. I honestly don’t know if my friend’s hand was on his Blackberry or in his pants more often … I just wanted his imagination to be duly distracted throughout the day.

By mid-afternoon, it was getting to the point where all the naughtiness had to meet up with some action.

When I actually visit my Office Guy on non-work-related matters, I have to time my trip carefully. Raising the suspicion of some of the others in his area could be a bad thing for all parties concerned. So, when the moment arrived, I slipped into his office and quietly closed the door behind me. I think he was a touch surprised at first, because I get the sense he was honestly expecting an actual gift-wrapped package … and my hands were empty. I asked him if he was ready for his gift and he got that look on his face that is a cross between shit-eating grin and abject fear. When he said he was, I asked him to arrange his chair so that I could stand in front of him.

I placed my hands on his shoulders and leaned in. I whispered into his ear that I had thought long and hard about what the perfect gift might be. I teased him with the suggestions that my husband has shared with me that morning. Then I said if he followed the seams of my stockings all the way to the top, he would find his gift.

My Office Guy slowly made his way up the backs of my legs and under the hem of my dress. The sensation of his hands on me again, touching me in such a sexual way, sent a wave of lusty electricity through my body. I was already incredibly turned on, and this pushed me closer to the edge of surrender.

When he got to my little lacy thong, his hands gently continued across the flesh of my ass, tracing the little whisp of lace. I asked him to take my panties off of me. I have to admit, it was a very unusual sensation to have another man removing my panties in this fashion – erotic and naughty. They were soaked from me being so turned on.

I stepped out of them, and whispered to him they were his to keep as a fond memory of his birthday. He understands there are reasons why other suggestions can not materialize at this moment, without us having to say. But it is hard to ignore the intense heat that rises between us.

I couldn’t leave it at just that. This was the man who had brought me to orgasm in a hotel room less than a kilometre away from where we were now. And I needed a little something to satisfy my own urges.

I took his hand and raised it to my mouth, and sucked on his finger like I had done to his cock during our interlude only a couple months ago, and then surprising myself with more bravery than expected, guided him under the hem of my dress and to the wetness between my legs.

I allowed my Office Guy to explore me with his long fingers for a few minutes. Then, without saying much more, I took back his hand and sucked on his now wet fingers. Before leaving his office –as time is tight and we do have actual jobs to do, I gave him a deep kiss.

Later that night, after my wicked husband had me pose for some photos in my outfit from the day, I finally managed to get the much needed sexual relief – but not before having to describe every minute detail of my afternoon.

Andee     xoxo

Flirting | A Sign Of Confidence

On Sunday I was surfing around for a few silly bits and pieces to use as my tweets on Monday; because I know how much you guys like my bits and pieces. I had spent the weekend in full motion, celebrating the eighth anniversary of my 30th birthday. I learned this weekend that I shouldn’t use the phrase “getting old” because it is usually met with a long rant from my husband about how I’m not “old.” Regardless, I love his deeply sweet efforts at making me feel special … even more so because I recognize that a lot of women I know don’t get the same treatment from their partners.

It was a great couple of days for me; being the centre of attention and challenged to accept the part with an open mind. It’s generally not my nature to be that way – and I admit there is a hint of guilt for the delicious feeling of being spoiled.

What added to the experience was something that remains a big part of why I’m here; online, writing for you guys, posing for you guys, sharing intimate thoughts and desires openly. My weekend, and the days leading up to my husband’s grand scheme had me soul-searching some of my darkest fantasies – mostly sexual, but some simply lifestyle desires as well.

The intention wasn’t to force me into a moment of fulfilling something; because despite the brazen attitude with which I blog, I need a lot of time to muster the courage to step out of my shell of reality. Instead, we spent a lot of our time in conversation about all the things we fantasize over, the things that count as must-do’s and reconnecting to some of the experiences we have enjoyed in our past but have let slip away in the tornado winds that come with parenting, working and day-to-day life.

During the time we were driving from our romantic dinner on the waterfront to the next destination in our celebration, we had some time to talk about more recent developments in my life, and specifically about my relationship with the man you have come to know as my Office Guy. And through all of that, I found myself explaining a little to my husband about how being able to flirt with him had not only gained me an incredible friend, but also allowed my mind to discover new things about myself and my desires – and my willingness to explore making some fantasies come true.

I don’t make it much of a secret, as I have said in earlier blogs, that flirting is important to me. Not so much because I have any esteem issues, but more so because in my work environment having that male friend – an outlet to spark my imagination – is a very important part of breaking from the depressing reality that surrounds me.

And with so many of those thoughts still fresh in my mind, I started to look around to see if anyone shared my outlook on being a married woman with a “hall pass,” or am I just a bit twisted with the kinky ideas that swirl around in my mind. Along the way, I discovered this advice piece on a website geared towards men, which I think is trying to present lifestyle topics with a hint of sarcasm, humour and light-heartedness.

Or, at least I hope so …

The column I was reading was about “why women flirt” and trying to offer some explanations as to why we behave that way. Overall, it was a fun read because I like to see what it is men believe about us. However, the piece left me with sense of frustration in the end as opposed to enlightenment.

One of the “reasons” they identified as motivation for a woman to flirt – especially if she is involved in a relationship – is her “lack of self-confidence.” The article painted the picture as if a married woman needed to know there was an alternative (or that she was able to find one) in the event of her current relationship breaking down. The author’s take was that women are instinctively needy and on a constant path of seeking new men to reassure them.

I just had to call shenanigans on this one, because in my opinion there is nothing further from the truth.

I’m not going to say that there aren’t some women who have self-confidence issues and a habit of constantly seeking men’s approval. But I tend to believe that those women have deeper emotional issues than just “flirting to win approval from an alternative.”

Just as there are some women who fall from one disastrous relationship to another – or “jump” from bed to bed – these are not the kind of actions that define all of us. Rather, these are actions that raise concern/empathy for a few examples. To suggest that when a woman flirts she is actively seeking an alternative to the man she has in her life is about as generalized as us saying “all men are pigs.”

What I do think is that a lot of married women – me included – see flirting as a way to keep the mind and imagination engaged. When I flirt, it is usually because my self-confidence is actually pretty high. In a way, it’s a case of my bravery being a little more prominent that day and I’m feeling like I can challenge the confines of my comfort zone. It rarely is an invitation to anything other than a mental and intellectual distraction. As such, I’m alright with the idea of my fellow flirter undressing me with his imagination – because that is all he is going to be able to do.

Flirting, when done properly, is rarely about overt sexual invitation. It’s a fine art of placing innuendo into a conversation that could be about anything – baseball, hockey, shopping, weekend plans, etc. It’s a manner of sharing a moment with someone else that fires a little spark, challenges the wit and distracts the mind from the stresses of reality. Some of it is entrenched in sexuality, but the responsibility for seeing that belongs to the other person.

To me, it’s never about being needy, or seeking an alternative partner as a “just in case” plan. In fact, the longer I am married, the more freedom I feel to challenge my imagination and the more at ease I feel within myself for doing so. Maybe that’s because I am still able to flirt with my husband, or maybe that’s because I am able to recognize that flirting doesn’t have to be dangerous, or toxic to a marriage.

Andee     xoxo