Talking Dirty And Getting In Trouble

A number of years ago I had a blog on a much different kind of website. Unfortunately, that turned into a very disappointing experience, so I’m certainly not going to provide them with any kind of promo. But, even though it wasn’t a positive ending for me, I did manage to archive my blog entries from there before I moved on to something a lot more in tune with my ambitions and personality. So, as we eek through another week, I thought this would be something fun to share once again.

The subject remains the same, but I’ve certainly added to my track record since I first answered the question … consider it one of those “if I knew then, what I know now” predicaments.

Anyway, on that particular website, someone who I interacted with wanted to know what the best kind of trouble I got into while talking dirty. There are kind of two answers to that …

A few years ago, words led me into the act of turning fantasy into reality during our exploration into the swinging lifestyle. These days that part of the adventure is somewhat “on hold” as far too many other priorities have taken hold of our time – and imagination – and therefore we’re sitting it out for a while.

It wasn’t so much about “talking dirty” but a lot more innuendo mixed with more than a couple feel-good beverages is what led to our first real swinging situation. My husband and I were at a neighbour’s party when I got into a conversation with the husband of another couple that was there. The conversation started off innocent enough, but gradually grew more sexually-infused as we talked ... and drank.

I hadn’t realized it, but we spent a good couple of hours immersed in this kind of banter hinting at sex and sexual experiences when the subject turned to me getting my nipple ring – which I still had at the time. Naturally this came out as a bit of a shock to a couple of people, because on the surface, I really am a very “average” girl-next-door type. They were shocked – and intrigued – to learn about my hidden wild side. Next thing you know, I’m out in the garage (a couple people were having a cigarette), pulling up my top to show him (and the others who took time away from their smoke to have a peek). There was a great deal of continued conversation about how much fun it was to play with, the erotic sensations that go straight to my pussy, etc.

Lo’ behold, a couple weeks later my husband and I are in bed exploring with this couple and having an exceptionally naughty and orgasmic time.

Talking dirty is also the way I learned to appreciate anal sex and toy play at the same time.

Anal isn't something I give up too often – much to my husband’s frustration (sorry Honey!). But one night we were having a really good session after playing on the computer for a bit. I was on my hands and knees, thoroughly enjoying the moment...and we started talking about double penetration. My hubby was teasing me with his fingers from behind and getting me very into the whole fantasy of having two beautifully hard men taking me.

After tormenting me this way for a few minutes and making me confess that I would love to have two guys in me at the same time, he grabbed one of my toys and some lube and began to tease me again. With my butt sticking up in the air, he lubed himself up and slid into my ass, and told me to tell him how much I would like to be taken by two guys. I started rubbing my vibrator in the good spots, and then pushed it into me.

I can't describe just how incredible it felt to be completely filled ... but let me tell you ... my fantasy for a threesome with two mean was solidified at that point. I definitely knew that was one of the best ways to explore a little bit of "trouble."

To this day, my husband still takes me to that point in sex where my mind is swirling, desperate for release and then makes me confess some of my naughtiest thoughts.

Hope that brightens your day! I'm off to play in the shower now ;-)

Andee     xoxo

TMI Tuesday | Vacation Sex

I'm sure you'll agree with me that sex is a key part of any decent adult vacation - whether it's the hook-up in Daytona for Spring Break, or a romantic tryst between long-term lovers in the Caribbean surf at sunset. There seems to be something that much more erotic about getting busy while the stress of reality is being washed away by some lovely tropical beverages.

Vegas Baby!

With that in mind, this week’s TMI Tuesday questions - submitted by virtualsin.wordpress.com - take us on a delightfully sexual holiday...

1. Do you have more sex or less when on vacation?
It used to be that I had way more sex when I went on vacation with my husband - but then we had kids and those kinds of trips disappeared. So, these days we just work harder at having vacation sex without getting caught.

2. Do you plan a vacation so that you will have an opportunity to have sex?
I can't say that we actually plan a vacation just for the sex, but I won't deny that we do everything we can to take advantage of the opportunity ... and keeping track of all the places I've gotten laid! A few years ago, when my husband was working in a different job and company, he used to travel several times a year - and every now and then I'd get to tag along. That was always a fun time for some seriously naughty interludes.

3. Have you ever planned a vacation in order to meet someone for sex?
No ... vacations for me (and now, for me and my husband) have not been built around the idea of a hook-up. There are times when I think it would be something exciting to try a lifestyle resort, such as Hedonism, but so far that remains just a fantasy - at least until my children have grown up enough to be trusted to be left alone.

4. Have you ever gone on a singles’ cruise or some other hookup-facilitating vacation?
Same as above ... no.

5. Have you had sex on a means of transportation other than a car: bus, train, airplane, cruise ship?
Since you took away all the really fun possibilities, the closest I can offer up as transportation is a bed that moves around on a hardwood floor.

6. Have you had outdoor sex on camping, hiking, skiing, boating vacation?
Camping and hiking, absolutely. In fact, I'd hazard to say, if there isn't at least on time on a camping trip when the sleeping bags get zipped together, then it's just not camping. Skiing for me has never graduated from the bunny slope ... although one of these days I'll definitely get back on the water and put some motion to the gunwales.

BONUS: Do you pack sex toys, lubes (3.4 oz bottles or less), etc when you fly? Do you think about TSA finding them? Has TSA ever found them and questioned you about your sexual aids or displayed them? Tell us about it.
No, as much as I love my toys and my sex fun, I'd be way too embarrassed to deal with an awkward security search.

Andee     xoxo

Sex | Something You Haven't Done

Every now and then, when these kind of questions come up, I get the strangest thoughts in my head. I'm sure the intention behind this one is to detail some swinging-from-the-chandelier rendezvous, but despite the collection of explicit fantasies in the recesses of my mind, one answer immediately emerged.

What's the one fun thing you would like to do sexually that you haven't done yet?

As simple as it may sound, the one thing that sits in my mind as something that would be an absolute blast, and maybe not too out there when it comes to sex, is playing strip poker. I'm not much of a card player, but it's one of those things that I know a lot of people have done in their life and I think it would be something a little wild and crazy. Plus, it generally involves a healthy bit of exhibitionism and voyeurism ... and if you play it right, sexy naked men.

And for me, it would have to be a co-ed game, because that would be a great way to see where else some of the bets could go ... maybe an intriguing post-strip game of spin the bottle or truth or dare, all adult versions of course.

Naturally, I would wear lots of layers to the game ... or if I was feeling lucky, maybe I'd show up commando!

Andee     xoxo

Sex | Getting A Facial

A somewhat interesting discussion broke out the other day at lunch, around the idea of “spit vs. swallow” but really about “swallow vs. facial.” Naturally, I always enjoy these kinds of conversations as they not only cover off one of my most favourite topics – sex, but also I find I learn so much about the bizarre attitudes that some of my friends seem to have about certain intimate acts between consenting adults.

One of my friends strongly views the “facial” finish in oral sex as an insult; almost as if it comes across as a sexist and derogatory completion to an act she already has some serious issues with. Of course, she is also one who I would be willing to bet uses her mouth for anything but blowjobs.

As a woman who thoroughly enjoys taking a man into my mouth and driving him to the point of orgasm, I felt it was important to share some ideas on the topic; mostly because I see that kind of attitude as a barrier to greater sexual adventures. If you take offence to something that you are a willing participant in for 95% of the moment, then decide “OK, that’s it” just before the big finish, well … maybe you need to have some serious conversations in your relationship.

I’ll admit that it took me quite a long time to adjust to the idea of swallowing a man’s cum. I would find ways to take the intimacy in a different direction before I would have to confront my apprehension. And, to be fair, I didn’t get a lot of complaints anyway.

The lack of pressure from my partner to actually finish him off by swallowing enabled me to get comfortable in my own mind with the idea, and then when I had confronted my fears and overcame them, the pure delight and appreciation from my partner was a massive boost to my confidence – and willingness to repeat the act.

These days I find myself actually wanting to make him cum in my mouth and am perfectly content with pulling out my favourite vibrator afterwards and letting him watch as I bring myself to orgasm.

And there are times when I actually do want my guy to blow his load all over me. I find it an equally erotic moment to watch from such a close angle as he cums. The sensation of those hot spurts on my flesh, and the knowledge that I am the one who is making him cum, is an incredible turn-on. I suppose it is connected to the idea that I don’t see oral sex as a submissive act; in reality, women can hold an incredible amount of sexual power in with their mouth.

 

It doesn’t hurt that my partner repeatedly tells me that I am good at it.

On the other side of the debate, I also happen to think that for the most part, having a man cum on me instead of in me is a bit of a short-change for him. In my own sexual experience, I have learned that the majority of the men in my life want the “swallow.” The incredible sensation for him, combined with idea of “reward” is an amazing sexual experience. It’s kind of like eating a delicious cream-filled doughnut, without eating the cream; why bother?

I realize that there are many women who just can’t fathom the idea of cum in their mouth; and that’s a shame … understandable, but still a shame. Hopefully they are able to find ways to enhance the intimacy with their partners as opposed to using the “spit vs. swallow vs. facial” debate as a bone of contention in their sexual experience.

Andee     xoxo 

TMI Tuesday | Playing With Myself

So, today marks the start of another new 'journey' for me. I am now officially in my 40th year, which means I have an awful lot of ground to cover in the next 365 days so that I can hit my 40th birthday looking all that much more sexually confident, physically fit and smashingly glamourous.

And, that also means that I may actually have a bit of a renewed ambition when it comes to making certain desires, wants and fantasies come to life. Or at least writing all about them!

And now, on to all that information that you just can't get enough of every TMI Tuesday ...

1. My favorite place to masturbate is _____ ?
Yeah, not as kinky as you might believe, but my favourite place to masturbate is in my own bed. That way, when all is said an done and my heart is done racing from the sexual build-up and release, I love to curl up and fall asleep. Masturbating is an amazing way for me to relax before bedtime - and helps take my mind away from the stresses of the day.

2. Have you ever masturbated in public? What were the circumstances?
Not sure; my answer is a bit of a 'sort of.' I wrote about it before: it was a couple years ago and my husband and I were on our way home from one of those sex trade shows in the city. We were downtown and the traffic was crazy. I had already slipped off my panties back at the convention centre and figured since we were going to be sitting in the car for a bit that I would give my new sex toy a little test drive of it's own. I simply pulled up the hem of my skirt, positioned myself accordingly and let the brand new batteries take me to euphoria of a roadgasm - plus give my hubby and amazing tease and scene.

It was equally erotic as people were walking past on the sidewalks only a couple feet away from our vehicle. I remember that was one amazing orgasm ... the sensation of a new toy mixed with the excitement of being in a crowded space.

3. Do you like mutual masturbation? Why?
Yes and no, but for all really good reasons. I love it because there is something very erotic for me in watching and being there while someone is pleasuring themselves. And sharing that moment with someone has an erotic sense of vulnerability. It's opening yourself up to a very different sexual experience.

No, because it's rare that I can allow myself to wait it out. Mutual moments like that generally end up in full-out sex ... not that full-out sex is a bad thing; it just means an end to the masturbation portion of the evening. There are lots of occasions when masturbation becomes a conclusion for me, as well. I'm one of those women that does need a little extra help to reach orgasm.

4. When was the last time you masturbated?
I'm writing my answers on Monday night as we wait for the Leafs-Bruins hockey game to start ... I masturbated on Monday morning shortly after shooting some new photos for my website - 'cause a girl can get rather turned-on posing in new lingerie that a friend sent for her to wear; all that touching my breasts and playing with my pussy while my husband snaps photos. Yep, I think I might masturbate again tonight.

5. Have you ever masturbated on camera?
Yes ... for both recorded video and on webcam. I still make new recorded videos every now and then for purposes other than just adding a bit of kink to my sex life. I mean, why keep the fun all to myself, and since I have received a few requests along the way from guys who want to watch ...

6. Do you like to watch people masturbate?
Call me kinky, but I love watching another person pleasuring themselves. I have had the wonderful opportunity to watch a couple men do that in front of me in person - and good lord, it's a massive turn-on for me. I would love to have the same opportunity with another woman. I have watched on camera and amateur videos, but not while I was right there just a couple feet away as she brought herself to orgasm. Now that would be yummy ...

BONUS: Have you filmed yourself masturbating? Care to share that film via a link?
Take your pick ... follow the video button and you can find several different videos of me masturbating, and a couple in which someone else does all the work on me!

Andee     xoxo

Relationships | Having An Out In Swinging

On the weekend I was having a bit an abbreviated online chat with a guy who has been a fairly regular follower of mine on Twitter and here. We were discussing the idea of “swinging” and my personal experiences with the lifestyle.

For the record, I’m probably not the best resource for an in-depth expose on the matter; just someone who has floundered here and there with trying to discover if it is something that appeals to me. I think I have made it relatively clear that “swinging” has been one of those not-so-satisfying adventures for me. And it’s not even the idea – because my desire is there, without a doubt. But for some reason, experimenting with other couples has just never worked out for my husband and I.

Regardless … my friend’s one question was what advice would I offer to couples who were just getting into the experience?

I thought about this for a while, because I don’t want to be negative. My own challenges are not necessarily what other people may experience, and as I mentioned, we still have a very curious desire to explore should the right opportunity arise. I’m not one to make any judgment on the lifestyle – just sigh about how our efforts seem to get derailed.

Plus, there is so much that could be said about exploring with the idea of introducing new people into your relationship. You need to consider on what level, and just what, you are comfortable with.

And so, assuming you have done all the talking, fantasizing, talking and talking with each other as a couple – and have reached the mutual decision that “swinging” may be worth exploring together – the best advice I would give is to make sure you have an “out.” An “out” is a safe word or phrase that could be used by either one of you to put the brakes on a situation that you don’t feel comfortable in.

For example, ours was “Let’s go for ice cream.” A simple expression that we understood meant we needed to cool things down.

This allows you some comfort in knowing that you have control over what you feel is OK as things progress. As much as some people want to mislead you into thinking otherwise, the truth is, you won’t know for sure what you are willing and capable of doing until you are in the moment. You might think you’re alright with the idea of some guy treating your wife like an amusement park on the hotel bed, but emotions can be funny things.

The same for men. It’s not easy for a man to be completely “into the moment” while another man is right there beside him also trying to be completely “into the moment.” I know men, despite their brashest bravado, can struggle with an erection when there is another penis in the room. Some guys have that subconscious homophobia to deal with.

And what if that other guy doesn’t share your inopportune flaccidity? What if he’s rocking some serious steel, your wife is drooling over the prospect of riding a new cowboy and you’re still trying to coax out any reaction you can from south of the border. Now suddenly he has two female playmates that might be more intrigued by the idea of a feminine tag-team and you’re left walking down the hall to get some more ice for their post-coitus beverages. Or vice versa …

Women are definitely at an advantage in this, as our bodies aren’t as quick to reveal our apprehension and nervousness. But that is not to say we don’t feel the same way. Conversely, imagine how we might feel if you are the one sporting the bull mastiff as soon as she doffs her bra? We have our own insecurities too.

There is a lot that can be positive about exploring new aspects of sex and relationships, provided everyone involved shares an understanding. Whether it is a desire to bring new people into the bedroom, or as simply as introducing a sex toy to the Tuesday night routine, sex is meant to be a pleasurable experience for all.

Communication and respect for each other’s desires and insecurities will go a long way to turning those fantasies in wonderful adventures.

Andee     xoxo

TMI Tuesday | Sex Detective

Sometimes people can be a bit sneaky under the guise of curiosity. In a way, I'm not much different - but I would hope that pretty much anything could be an open discussion and there wasn't a need to hide.

However, now that I am a parent to a couple of teenage boys, I'm thinking there's probably some investigative techniques in my near future ... and not just on TMI Tuesday!

1) Did you ever find someone else’s stash of sex toys, lubes, etc.?
Other than finding my teenage brother's stash of Playboy magazines in the barn when I was about 12, no. He wasn't a very creative person when it came hiding places, choosing to stick them in an old case that was up on the loft about my father's work bench.

2) Did you ever search someone else’s computer to determine their porn habits? Were you ever the object of such a search?
I'd be lying if I said I hadn't poked around on my husband's computer to see what was going on, but I'm not exceptionally technologically savvy.

3) Did you ever investigate to see if two people were getting it on?
When I was a teenager, my parents adopted two of my teenage cousins and they moved in with us. The older cousin was a bit of a floozy and always had the lights off downstairs when her boyfriend would visit. I would sneak to the top of the stairs and wait for a few minutes before trying to bust them. I actually never did catch them doing anything other than making out - which is probably better for me and not being grossed out. The people you would love to catch or watch are never the ones you do.

4) Did you ever look for naughty pictures on someone else’s phone?
Not unless you count my husband ... and they were of me ...

5) Were you ever involved with an investigation (formal or informal) into whether someone was cheating on his/her lover?
No, although I've been on the receiving end of someone who thought it would be amusing to try to cause some shit in my own marriage. They took it upon themselves to send my husband some emails accusing me of some inappropriate behaviour with a friend. Of course, they had no clue as to what my private life is really like.

Bonus: Do you have a secret online identity so that you can find a secret lover?
Good lord, no. I have a hard enough time keeping up with the 'secret life' I already have going with me as 'Andee' let alone a dating persona.

Andee     xoxo

Relationships | It's Not About 'Ownership'

Some days I really should learn to stay away from some of the nonsense that passes as “advice and insight” in those trashy women’s magazines and relationship websites. They used to be a fun source of humour and fodder for lunchtime debates, but lately they have proven to be nothing more than ridiculous perspectives that are going to screw up reality for a lot of younger women should they chose to believe what these bitter and jaded writers put out there.

Now, I recognize that not everyone looks at the world like I do; just as I don’t share a lot of other people’s perspectives – especially on relationships and sexuality. And I have to learn to accept that the path that has brought me to where I am in life is also not one that has been walked by many.

The article I read last week that got my blood pressure rising was a “modern woman’s” position about fidelity and fantasy. The female author was writing about how she believes it is completely wrong for people in committed relationships to have fantasies that involve other people. Her position was that “your man” could be cheating on you in his own mind; that his fantasies were taking him out of the marriage.

What?

And she went on to explain her belief that in order for a woman to own a man sexually, he shouldn’t be thinking about other women … period.

Good lord!

I have a hard time understanding how some modern women view their feminist right as one of possession – particularly when it comes to men. Their attitude reminds of those stereotypical black wives from bad 1990s sitcoms and the “Oh no, you di' unt…” finger-wagging, head-bobbing routine.

“I think however that private fantasizing is also a sure-fire way for couples to become disengaged and disconnected during sex. It also does not encourage dialogue between couples about the things with which they are unhappy,” the author writes in her article.

How are having sexual fantasies an indication that we are unhappy as people?

“What right-thinking woman (unless she’s kinky to the bone) wants her husband to be thinking about another woman when he’s making love to her? Yes, I am aware that different folks have different strokes but for those of us interested in the concept of sexual-exclusivity, why should this not also be extended to the thought-life? As my girlfriends have said, the first step to fully owning a man sexually is owning his mind and if it’s filled with thoughts of other women, how much of him do we really have?”

Are these the very same girlfriends who sit around bitching about how useless their husbands are; or how the “word according to the gospel of Oprah” says another wedge of cheesecake won’t hurt?

Is monogamy really about completely “owning” the other person sexually?

I guess I am one of the “kinky to the bone” women she is scoffing about. In our bedroom, our fantasies about other people are a widely accepted – and openly discussed – topic. I can tell you about a number of the women my husband works with on a daily basis that he would love to invite into our sex life – hell, I’d even be happy just to sit back and watch. He’s already done that much for me by allowing one of my biggest fantasies to become a reality.

Maybe I am missing something in my role as a sexual woman to truly understand how his sexual fantasies are damaging our long-term relationship? Never mind our 23-year history as a couple while we have seen less open-minded couples have their marriages implode.

Several studies have shown how having fantasies is actually healthy for the mind and people who fantasize frequently have more fun in bed, have sex more often, and women have more orgasms during sex than those who refrain from fantasizing about their sex lives. And some of those studies have shown how lack of being able to have sexual fantasies has led to boredom.

What is dangerous to the health of a relationship is the idea of “possession” and an atmosphere of judgment where one of the parties involved doesn’t feel confident or comfortable in sharing. Being connected to someone who won’t allow you the freedom to express the deepest and darkest desires is a sure-fire way to spend a life of misery.

And I can tell you I see that far too much around me – couples who clearly have no clue about the thoughts of their partner. They co-exist in a swirl of resentment without really understanding how they reached that stage, but the cohabitation passing as a “marriage” is too convenient to leave – or heaven forbid, too much bother to put in the effort to change. I listen as my own girlfriends complain about their partners, label them and berate them; rarely do they share any of the decent qualities that must have existed at one point in time.

Meanwhile, they scoff at my own tales of how my husband planned an elaborate birthday scavenger hunt for me last year; or how he secretly downloads songs I like onto my mp3 player while I am in bed asleep, leaving me to be surprised the next time I listen to it. I’ve stopped telling them that he knows my clothing, underwear and shoe size better than I do. Damn the bastard!

It's time to let go of the anger and resentment that has boiled because you are too lazy to actually talk to each other. Life is not a Hollywood movie where Prince Charming comes to the rescue, or some great revelation occurs and your marriage is fixed in a running time of 181 minutes. You have to open up, you have to talk and you have to be willing to accept the other person's delightful kinky lust for wanting you to be a part of their sexual fantasies.

A progressive relationship isn’t about ownership or dispelling the fact that human nature involves a healthy imagination. Trying to squash your partner’s fleeting mental desires is likely a quicker route to turning a monogamous partnership into a former relationship.

Andee     xoxo

Relationships | How Not To Get Laid

So there I was, wasting a little time at lunch instead of being social with co-workers that I’m not really interested in being social with, when I did the unthinkable yet again – I read some drivel from yet another wannabe Carrie Bradshaw, who still hasn’t figured out that she is just a fictional character crafted by a group of writers who probably never served as magazine columnists in New York. Strangely, this wannabe was male … not that there’s anything wrong with that.

The article this time was about “sexy” moves that your guy just doesn’t find sexy from a guy’s point of view. Now, this one wasn’t as full of rubbish as some of the others, but I still had to choke down my Cajun chicken to get through some of the advice.

Part of the article relies on the assumption that if you are actually dating right now, the guy you are dating must be a lazy idiot. No, not because he is dating you, but because he has absolutely no sexual creativity and must be spoon-fed sex because it is your responsibility to continually “please your man.” Except now, as a woman, you must learn to understand that he only wants it when he wants it – and that having to put any effort into the “tease” takes too much of his time away from important things, like picking his fantasy croquette team or something like that.

Shower sex … especially on weekday mornings.

"Unless you have a seat in there, a shower romp is never as fun as it sounds. Who gets to stand under the water? And she can't like it when she goes down on me and there's scalding hot water blasting her in the face."

If you can’t figure out how to position yourself in the shower so she’s not getting water in face when she is doing something to make you feel sexy and desirable, then I’ll make sure you have some extra conditioner in there because from now on the only lube you’ll be getting on your clean Johnson will be spread with your own hand while you jerk off to those stories your buddy from work tells you about the things his wife does to him.

Hint you're in the mood, then play hard to get and make him work at seducing you.

“Just what a guy wants when he gets home from work: more work. The chase is a game for those who've just met. When you're in a new relationship, you're so excited, you'll try anything. I once spent three weeks eating at vegan restaurants just because a girl was cute (and vegan). Of course, I'd grab a cheeseburger afterward. But still, that's working for it!”

You know what’s work? Trying to get the mustard stain off the crotch of your pants after you’ve eaten that cheeseburger, you slob. But fear not buddy, you can bemoan your lack of understanding of women while you drop a few more coins into the washing machine at the laundromat when you go with your other newly-single friend … and compare notes of which conditioner feels better to masturbate with in the shower.

Wear a top with a million little buttons and slowly undo them while he watches.

“Is it cool if I watch baseball till you finish? This sounds more goofy than sexy. Sure, most guys enjoy a striptease, but there's a reason strippers don't wear tops like that. Namely, there are few things less hot than unbuttoning a million buttons. Guys like it when you take off your clothes, but it's better if it doesn't take half an inning to get to the main event.”

Well, I bet you love those cheapass t-shirts from Walmart better because that’s the only place you’ll meet your next big thing. Oh, and the stripper thing? Yes, they don’t wear button down shirts like your wife or girlfriend … but unlike your brass pole fantasy we don’t make your dick ooze puss and burn when you pee. Yeah, that’s hot – in a not so delightful way. Hope she was worth the $20 bucks you stuffed in her g-string before you wagged your inch-worm out from your best pair of sweat pants.

Buy a super-pricey, super-vampy little lingerie number for his eyes only.

“The only time a guy notices lingerie is when it's hard to take off. Sexy lingerie is kind of a nonstarter. If it makes you feel sexy, great. Go for it. But if you're wearing it to turn a guy on, just know it doesn't do as much for us as you might think. If I already know what's under there, then what's the point?”

Which is why your Internet browsing history is full of links to pantyhose and stocking fetish sites, right? And why does that Victoria’s Secret catalogue come to the house in your name? Or maybe this year we can say no gift-wrapping for your Christmas presents?

It’s sad that men like this have grown up too lazy to know that unwrapping her is half the fun. But no, they would rather just fuck and be done with it so they could get back to the sports channel. And they wonder why their lives are miserable and empty. Come on, can’t women see how great a catch you really are?

But, I know this, the minute your wife or girlfriend starts wearing nothing but droopy old sweats and cheeseburger stained t-shirts is the minute you’ll bitch about how she doesn’t bother trying to improve her appearance and try to start looking kind of like that hot little intern in accounting who always shows a flash of her lace bra under her button down… oh wait … I forgot, you don’t like lingerie and buttons. You’re more into the Velcro look like that stripper was wearing the other night.
 

Grr…

There was a whole lot more I could have said about this absolute nonsense, but after scoffing for a few minutes, I realized that this poor sap of a writer probably goes home to an apartment still decorated with fond memories of college and not a hot and sexy woman waiting in nothing but a $300 band of ribbon from an upscale lingerie shop.

Thankfully both my own personal experience with men and many commenters on the article indicate that these kinds of ideas are far from the norm. In fact, the few men I do know who even closely talk along these lines are usually not the kind of men who I think get a lot of this kind of action anyway.

As for me, I’m OK with this ridiculousness … because for all the men with an attitude like this out there, I immediately feel so much more fortunate for having one in my life who will break every man rule in the book to get me into the “sexy.” But that said, I admit we don’t usually shower together in the morning; he is way too exhausted from: the chase, the seduction, the buttons and the lingerie.

Andee     xoxo