Hall Pass | Not In The Traditional Sense

Like a lot of people, I have certain ... um ... desires about expanding my list of sexual conquests. It's a healthy fascination, because the human brain needs to be stimulated, as does the female imagination. At the same time, that doesn't necessarily mean that I am continually on the prowl to fulfill that desire. At least that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

So, every now and then I receive an intriguing question from someone that allows me to explore some of those imagination-stimulating ideas and share them with you.

Do you have a ‘hall pass?’

Kinda sorta ... depends a lot on your real definition of a "hall pass," and even then with conditions attached. In my case, it’s just a complicated sort of predicament.

Of course, this idea moved to the forefront of our culture after a really bad movie a couple years back, in which a group of married men were given a “hall pass” by their wives. I won’t go too deeply into the storyline ... I think the fact it bombed at the cinemas pretty much tells the tale best. A silly premise based on an expression in use since the 1960s.

But, in urban terminology (hey, I looked it up, OK) a “hall pass” is time off from being in a marriage. It’s one spouse granting permission to the other to go about the length of the “hall pass” as if they were single. It's the foundation of "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" mentality, except with a hint of permission. So in that sense, I don’t have one, nor do I want one. I love my husband, I love being married and I love sharing the adventure with him. So to deny him the opportunity to share in that would be beyond me.

Now, all that said, there is a sort of intriguing agreement in place within our relationship: while we don’t consider ourselves “swingers” by any traditional definition, there are a couple open doors should the right opportunity surface for us to introduce another person into our sex life. And, if you have followed along for a while, you know that this has been a big part of my adventure.

Andee     xoxo

Healthy Investigation ... or Snooping

I have never really been one who got into the whole celebrichef trend. As someone who thinks the kitchen is just a practical room, the appeal of most food shows and the larger than life personalities these people force themselves to put on just isn't for me. I mean, when I see the commercials for certain popular chefs, and you see their ranting, raving and swearing at their staff, it just reminds me of all the bullying idiots I've had to endure in my own career. Not cool.

But the other day, I found something about British chef Jamie Oliver that touched off a bit of a firestorm ... it was a story about how his wife of 12-years routinely checks his e-mails, cell phone and Twitter account for signs of infidelity. And then, in the interview with the press, she claims that while he believes her to be a "jealous girl" she sees herself as a "laid-back" individual.

Seriously?

Now, I don't know Jamie Oliver. I probably could distinguish between him and the other British chef, because I think Oliver uses a lot less profanity when talking to his employees ... I think. But I do know that whether you are a world-renowned sandwich artist or a somewhat anonymous broom pilot, having your private communications subject to investigation is not a sign of a healthy relationship.

Yesterday, while my hubby and I were having our morning coffee together, we got on the subject of trust. And in our relationship, without question, there is an awful lot of trust. That is what makes it strong and our connection deeper than some of the relationships we see around us. At the same time, as my husband explained, we also tend to push our trust to the limits that not an awful lot of people would dare. That's not to say we cross the line, but recognizing that in our current sexual adventure, things are happening on a somewhat regular basis that require a whole serving of honesty.

My husband explained that in relation to my current relationship status with a certain Office Guy, all he could rely on for those hours that I am at work and in close proximity to one of my objects of desire is trust. I continually reassured him that, given our outlook on what we want from this adventure, there was little need to worry.

But I'm not naive enough to think that his concerns and fears are not legitimate, no matter what I say in response.

The marvels of all that rest in the simple fact that our trust grows when we have these conversations - because through them we are actually being open with each other and communicating. Couples are supposed to talk to each other and work on building something stronger, not just settle into a routine of quiet doubt. For us, healthy investigation into what is going on when we are apart comes from these couch talks over coffee because rarely does anything positive come from secret surveillance.

Someone in the Jamie Oliver article said that assuming your spouse is cheating is one way to guarantee that they will. I couldn't disagree more; assuming your spouse is cheating and investing all that energy chasing shadows takes away the opportunity for intimacy with your spouse - and robs you of those precious moments when difficult questions can be discussed like adults.

Andee     xoxo

Trying To Define 'Sexy'

What is “sexy?”

In broad terms, it has to be something different for everyone. What turns my head is different from what turns my husband’s … and the same with people’s libidos. What gets one person all hot and bothered may turn off someone else.

For a lot of people, the idea of what is sexy can be defined as a style and attitude, combined with a strong sense of confidence. For others, it is as simple as a look. Mostly, sexy is personal and sometimes very hard to define. Clothing can be sexy, and yet naked can be sexy. Intelligence can be sexy … knowledge can be sexy … innocence can be sexy.

There are so many variables in defining 'sexy.'

Sexy, for me, is mostly an attitude and approach to life. There are specific things that I believe contribute to “sexy” – such as certain outfits, actions and words – but overall, these are things that inspire the attitude within me to feel “sexy.” A dress can make me feel “sexy” on some days and “frumpy” on others. Sexy can be very complex, or very simplistic, depending on my overall frame of mind and willingness to be expressive, confident and slightly extroverted.

Recently someone asked "when do I feel most sexy." A tough question, because there are many different variables involved – including occasions when I consciously set out to create the opportunity. Overall, there are a few factors that help create the perfect mood in me:

1. When someone who is not obligated to make a comment, compliments me.
Husbands, boyfriends, fathers, mothers – they are all supposed to tell us wonderful things about us. That’s what family and lovers are there to do, boost our morale and our egos, and be our personal champions regardless of our shortcomings … among a lot of other things. They have a sense of obligation to be supportive.

What really makes me feel sexy is when I have made an effort to present myself in the best physical and emotional spirit of the day, and someone not directly associated with my family life notices. For example, if I have planned a particular outfit for the day, and have gotten my mind into the idea of playing a flirty distraction, I get a huge boost when the guys at work play along with me. It’s a great boost when I catch them looking at me, notice the twinkle or even the slight raising on an eyebrow in approval.

It’s also knowing you won’t be overly judged for your demeanor and appearance; that somehow they expect nothing less from you but to be that vision of confidence and desire. It might be the slight hint of vanity, but as a woman, I enjoy it tremendously when I get an unexpected compliment from a man (and the occasional woman). Even more so, when you begin to understand that you still have the sexual attraction to turn someone’s head.

2. When someone has made an honest and concerted effort to boost my ego without being prompted.
I think everyone would agree that when you feel good about yourself, it is a lot easier to let your sexy attitude emerge from the shadows.

3. When I catch a man checking me out.
Of course this has to come with a disclaimer, in that there are occasions when being the object of some guy’s random ogling can be a bit unnerving. What I am suggesting here is that, when I have put forth an effort to try to appear attractive, alive and vivacious, it’s a very sexy feeling to catch a guy giving me the double-take in the hallway.

Again, this goes right to heart of the matter of when a woman begins to feel she is passing her prime, the boost we get from discovering that men still want to take notice. For me personally, I refuse to surrender to the attitude that a woman needs to “settle.” I want to put in the effort to look nice, to feel good about myself and, without a doubt, feel like I could be the object of someone’s desire – someone that isn’t already on my radar as such, like my husband. And then, it doesn’t hurt to keep his interest up as well – because, apparently, competition for a woman’s attention can be very motivating for a man. And I like sexually motivated men!

4. When my husband invests a huge amount of time flirting with me in whatever way he can.
By far, the biggest reason I feel sexy is when my husband puts in an effort to make me feel good about myself. And this is always about those times when I am dressed up, or teasing him back about the guy who I caught looking through the glass door in the cafeteria the day I wore a certain dress to work, etc. This is about when I know he is thinking of me in all the right ways – and letting me know that he is.

5. When I see that look in my lover’s eye that tells me they are “lost” around me.
Maybe this is more about the sexual power that comes from knowing that in that moment, when I can see my lover become a drooling, sexually aroused mass of putty in my hands, I can have my way exactly as I want it.

6. When I slip on that dress and those shoes.
Like all women, I have a go-to outfit that I know will produce all the attention I want for that moment. It used to be this great black top and little skirt with a pair of funky boots … and then my brown button-up with a suede skirt and boots. These days I have been incredibly spoiled by a husband that works very hard at making me feel sexy. Part of that has been his sense of fashion and encouraging me to break out of my somewhat conservative/casual routine. I now have a few different dresses that I know when I slip them on, he will give me that certain look which sends a flutter right down to my pussy … and then ship me off to work where I know the guys will spend a good part of their time treating me like a delightful distraction.

More times than not, I usually end the day lying on my back, sweaty and naked listening to my equally sweaty and naked husband saying, “That’s what you get for dressing up like that for work” and “You are so naughty for teasing those guys like that.”

Uh huh … you know it!

Andee     xoxo

Thoughts On A Sexy Sunday Morning

Before I get too deep into this, I need to openly confess that this is a question that I borrowed from my blogging friends Jack and Jill at Frisky in the 916. You should check out their blog for a very intriguing blend of sex blogging and erotica.

This past Friday, they had answered a question on "Have you ever wanted to try something sexually but haven't? What is it and why?"

I found the question rather appealing, because for me it touches on: a) my favourite subject and, b) isn't necessarily about traditional fantasy, but alludes to a moment or opportunity that was there at one time and passed.

For me the answer is a bit of a Part One and Part Two response. There are two equally lust-worthy thoughts that come to mind when thinking of this.

In my experience, I have had come very close to fulfilling my desire to have a threesome a few different times. When my husband and I first dabbled with the idea of swinging, we met a couple that became good friends and shared our willingness to explore and experiment. The wife in the couple was the subject of my Friday blog.

And while we played around with this couple, we had all agreed that taking the fun to a full-swing situation was not where we were at emotionally at the time. We still had a lot of curious thoughts we needed to work through without pushing the limits too quickly. Fun is fun, but not at the expense of regret and damage to a marriage just because the alcohol-induced courage is a little higher when sexually stimulated.

Along those lines of achieving my desire for a MFM also sits the more recent Hotel Rendezvous with my Office Guy. The stage was definitely set for some incredible sexual adventure, but again the moment needed to develop in a nature way. My husband and I had agreed that, in the heat of the moment should my experience with my Office Guy reach the point of no return and having him give me a good, hard fuck, I would be allowed to enjoy it all - as long as I followed the appropriate rules of safe sex. In hindsight, I'm not sure how capable I would have been at rolling a condom onto his hard cock ... but everything played out in such a way that the oral sex we shared proved to be the pinnacle of the experience ... and hopefully opened the door for more exploring down the road.

The second part that comes to mind in this question goes back to the time when I was so close to answering my bisexual curiosities, but couldn't because my lustful partner and I had indulged just a lot too much that night. If you are a long time reader of mine, you will remember the blog about the weekend I spent at a work-related conference with a female coworker. At that time in my life I was just beginning to explore my sexuality in a bigger way. My husband had encouraged me to be more open about my desires, my fantasies, my sexuality and I was definitely enjoying where the path was leading me.

The details of the whole experience can be found in this entry - Bisexuality | When It All Came Out. But to finish my thoughts here, the moment I would love to have back is the chance to complete that flirtatious and tormenting evening with what I really wanted to do: fulfill the opportunity for a passionate night with her; no husbands, just her and I alone naked and not as drunk as we were on the night when it could have all come together.

Andee     xoxo

Fantasies | Are You Ready To Share

I guess I have never really considered just how lucky I am to have a partner that I can share and talk about my sexual fantasies with. With my 38th birthday approaching this weekend - yes, that's right ... 38, he has been scheming and planning something. For the past two weeks I have found little notes tucked away in odd places, some with quotes and sayings that mean something special to us, and others with a bit of homework. Yes, so sometime before Saturday I need to write out some of my own personal fantasies - for what reason is yet to be seen. But I'm exceptionally curious.

The other day, when I was tweeting some of the nonsense that I find in trashy women’s magazines, one of my online friends sent me note about how they wished their wife would even admit to having one fantasy – never mind going into any graphic details.

Aside from being sympathetic, I was a little disappointed on his behalf. My fantasies are what keep my mind alive and distracted from the world around me. And it doesn’t hurt that it also brings a smile to my face and some excitement to my marriage.

My friend was looking for advice on what is the most important thing to keep in mind when sharing a sexual fantasy with your spouse.

I’m not an expert in this, so all I can really do is reflect on what worked for me … and some of the important considerations I believe help make the fantasy a positive. Let’s be honest, some people might be intimidated by the thoughts that swirl around in their partner’s head when it comes to sexual adventures.

The biggest thing is knowing that the lines of communication are open. The worst thing you can do is drop a fantasy on them at a moment when they aren’t expecting it. From a woman’s perspective, if you’re in the middle of some sweaty mattress dancing with me, blurting out that you have dreams about bending the miniskirt-wearing intern over the boardroom table might not be considered “good timing.”

In thinking back on how we’ve gotten to the point in our own relationship, the one thing my husband did an awful lot of was asking questions. And then asking more questions. And he never seemed to respond to my answers with any kind of judgment or commentary, he just asked more questions. Eventually it became a whole world of talking about what turned me on – and doing little things that made me realize he actually listened.

Of course, that wasn’t just based on sexual fantasies. It’s the same approach he has used for so much of what he has brought into our relationship. We constantly talk, we constantly text … we often sext. The doors are open for sharing.

I admit there are still some things I keep pretty close to my chest and he has yet to learn. But all in good time.

The other thing is having a really good idea about how your spouse will react to your fantasy. It’s really important to understand that they may not share that same idea with you. She might not like the miniskirt-wearing intern, and that could lead to some jealousy. Better to test the waters by taking small elements out of your fantasy. For example, I know you want to nail that little hottie while her miniskirt is hiked up and her four-inch stilettos are digging into the carpet … but the underlying thought is sex in the office. Why not begin with asking questions or painting a verbal picture of doing that act with your spouse … let that simmer and then gradually introduce the idea of either “getting caught by the hottie intern” or “what if you’re not there …”

You might even find that she doesn’t want you to have the miniskirt-wearing intern … because she wants you to watch her with the miniskirt-wearing intern.

Like all good stories, fantasies need to be built up.

One of the biggest disappointments I think I feel when I learn from my friends that their husbands have no clue as to their sexual fantasies is because they are afraid of being judged for them.

Maybe this is where I have it good. My husband is constantly asking me about mine … to the point where I think I might have to start making crazy things up just to keep him satisfied. No, truthfully, being able to talk about what turns you on from a fantasy point of view is very liberating and is something I wish more couples would do with each other.

Too many people see sexual fantasies as an indication of their own shortcomings: if I was a better lover, she wouldn’t have this thing for the UPS Delivery Guy. That’s so not true. Fantasies are a healthy part of being alive and being a sexual being. The challenge is to accept that more times than not, they aren’t literal desires, but rather hints of wanting some sort of new adventure.

Now, let’s acknowledge that some fantasies can be true. When I began to share with my husband about my desires for a little sexual adventure and more physical flirting with my Office Guy, I really meant with one specific man. My husband had long known that I fantasized about experiencing something with another man – always with him present – but it just evolved into a reality with this one.

However, it wasn’t just about me blurting out randomly. My hubby has spent a long time getting to know who I am, my deepest desires and wildest dreams. It’s been an investment and a world of encouragement. And he has had to learn to let go of some jealousies along the way. Most importantly, we have learned – together – that we want as much from life as we can get.

Are some things worth the hang-ups? I’m afraid you have to answer that yourself.

Andee     xoxo 

Why Not Talk About Past Lovers

I’m pretty sure that you have figured out by now that I tend to be a bit of an open book when it comes to the sexual side of my life. Well, I am on here anyway.

I just think it’s a much more intriguing and entertaining topic when it comes to something to talk about. Plus, why should we feel so afraid of sex as a subject? Imagine how much more exciting life would be if instead of making small talk about nonsensical things like the weather, we could stand in the elevator and ask “So … get laid last night?”

But even when it does come to talking about sex, there are certain topics that remain “off limits.” Almost every relationship expert says not to discuss previous sexual partners. They suggest that those things, as they are intimate details of someone’s past, should remain secrets locked away for all eternity.

I don’t know … I can’t say I really agree with that idea too much.

I don’t have a crowd of skeletons in my closet when it comes to past lovers … but as I said last week, I like to think that the experiences we have had with previous sexual partners help define who we are as sexual beings. We have been able, through those intimate moments, to gain a better understanding of what we like, what we don’t like, what we’re good at and what we may have been missing when we finally meet that partner who is that much better!

Plus, I subscribe to the belief that those past experiences – for the most part – are not something we need to be ashamed of. Parachute pants and big hair in the 80s, yes … but life experiences, not so much. Of course, I am referring to experiences that have not led to emotional or physical scars – and as I get older, I realize that I was fortunate in that my past lovers were relatively average; no serial killers, closet psychopaths or Backstreet Boy tribute band members.

Maybe it is part of the kinky side of me, but I like to know about what has gone on in my partner’s previous relationships. Not so much from a nosy side, but recognizing that surely there must have been something they enjoyed and made them happy, so what is that – and is it something that I might be able to bring to our relationship to make it even better?

The real kinky side of me likes to hear, in graphic detail, some of those moments that I wasn’t there for. It’s almost like a bit of personal erotica.

But am I going to dress up in things like they did? Probably not. But if there was some fun and exciting positions that might not be a regular feature in our sex life, I might be willing to indulge and bring a smile to your face.

And there is the other side to it, as well. As lovers, we all want to know how we stack up to the previous notches on the bedpost. Call it ego, but from a somewhat kinky perspective … just what is it she did with her tongue to make your eyes roll back into your head?

One thing I do believe when it comes to sharing information about other lovers is knowing when the time is right. Communication is hugely important, and there is nothing wrong with sharing some of those life experiences – you just have to pick your moments. But if you talk a lot, you’ll know. If you don’t talk a lot, you might want to start.

Andee     xoxo

Sex | Am I Really That Good In Bed

I think this is one of those age-old questions where there might not be a truly definitive answer, but it was something that came up recently in a conversation. And to a certain degree, it is something that I truly wonder about ... even more so because of some of the things that have occurred in my sexual adventure.

How do you know you are good in bed?

Personally, I'm not exactly sure how you would measure this. There are no academic tests with percentage results. Although if there was, I hope they didn't grade on a bell curve. But I do suppose there is no shortage of advice on how to improve your love life, between books, blogs and how to drive your man wild workshops.

And, to be honest, I have read, written and attended such love life improvers - all in pursuit of fun, excitement and curiosity.

I'm pretty lucky in that my partner frequently compliments some of the sexual talents I employ in our bedroom sessions (and other places). Apart from the importance of letting your partner know that they are bringing you satisfaction and pleasure, it's also delightfully ego-boosting to hear. Even more so if you ever want the act repeated.

But even with that regular reassurance, it's human nature to wonder about whether or not that is something your partner says because they are your partner, or if you really possess incredible lovemaking skills.

It seems almost too basic to say: if you are turned on and capable of reaching orgasm, then you must be good. Sex can be two things - selfish or rewarding. To me, being good in bed means that each moment is rewarding. Each time becomes an experience that advances and enhances the relationship, even if the actual sexual goings on at the time are complicated.

This is where two key things come into play: communication and experience.

The first one is easy. Any good relationship needs both people to be honest, open and willing when it comes to talking about all the things that stoke our fires. If you can't share your likes and dislikes, then you already face a pretty big obstacle in being good in bed. Your partner will never be able to turn the intimacy into a mind-blowing connection if they don't have any clue as to what goes on in your mind.

The second element is tougher. Most people believe that experience is something that comes down to the physical number of sexual partners one has had in life. And that's a fair assumption. But experience also comes from the constant level of intimacy you can have with one partner - and an open mind.

A penis is a penis and a vagina is a vagina. You can a 1,000 lovers and still end up with only a little experience. Sure, you will have a lot of mileage, but if the scenery never changes, what's the point. On the other hand, you can have 10 lovers and have a wealth of experience because each of you have shared on a deeper level, challenged your limits and explored the height of passion together.

Numbers don't always reveal the truth.

I have not had a lot of lovers in my life. In fact, if I was to admit the truth, you would only need one hand. But, I personally think I have a tremendous experience because of how I have been able to explore and grow from the moments that I have had.

But I have also long-wondered if I was a good sexual partner, or if my husband was just stroking my ego in return for me stroking his erection. After being with someone for over 20 years, you have already learned a great deal about each other's sexual momentum. You develop a synchronicity and almost subconsciously know what it takes to press the right buttons.

Now, that is not suggesting routine and boredom. It just means you reach the point of being on the same level with your partner.

So, where that leaves me is at the point of exploration. I am very lucky to have a husband that has allowed me to open the sexual doors outside of our marriage - with agreeable conditions - in order for me to gain an honest answer. Because I am dying to know if I am as good as he claims I am.

Andee     xoxo 

Relationships | Fall In Love All Over Again

"If you want your husband to fall in love with you all over again, do all the things you did when you first met."

That was a statement that I "borrowed" from a trashy women's magazine about keeping the excitement in your love life and making your relationship infidelity-proof. The other day, as I often do, I used it as one of my tweets - and it seemed to generation some interesting discussion surrounding the idea.

The idea behind the quote is about focusing on the courtship that you do when you meet a potential mate and carrying that into your marriage. We typically put in a lot of effort into our looks, friendliness, flirtations and overall personality in those early days as we try hard to show our good side so the other person will be interested.

Later on, after the relationship has reached cruise control status, we switch off the effort and settle in. It's human nature.

From a purely personal point of view, this is where I think relationships reach their most dangerous stage. This is the time when boredom takes over, along with routine and a sense of "too late." Call it the 7-year itch, or just complacency; either way, it is the onset to opening the door to bigger issues.

What the point in the quote is about, is looking back to the efforts you made when you first fell in love and remembering all the things that worked. We all change, but I'm a firm believer in that we all improve as we age. We should also be able to shed some of the inhibitions that took root after the rings were placed on the fingers.

I'm willing to bet that most people, when they started dating someone important, went all out to impress and attract that person. Conversations probably included things like dreams and ambitions. It was almost like a relationship "when I grow up" moment. I'm also willing to bet that not long after some settled into their relationships, the affection patterns changed. When was the last time you made out with your partner? Hold hands? Risked ridicule from the guys on your beer league team and showed your wife some PDA? And if you don't know what that is, that might be part of your problem.

I can only speak from what works in my relationship ... and for me, the past couple years have been the most connected I have been with my partner. We have faced a few realities in the world around us, from the loss of dear friends to economic difficulties. It's the primary reason why we are where we are, enjoying life and living with as few regrets as possible.

In a way, our relationship is almost new. We have discovered new things about each other, shared dreams and ambitions ... and making out on the couch is not unheard of.

Rediscovering all those emotions, fantasies, desires and dreams from the early days of our relationship has been unbelievably exciting. And there's still lots of work to be done in that, because not everything will ever be perfect. But the effort is what is important. The effort is the aphrodisiac.

To me that includes letting your husband know, in a playful and delicate way, that just like when you were dating, he needs to keep on top of his game because there are others waiting in the wings to steal his precious bride. It's not really like I would run off with another man, but it has been good for him to learn that I am attractive to other men - in real life, when I'm clothed and not posing for the camera.

Now, mind you, he worked hard to prove to me that I was the woman he has said I am all along. That meant being understanding to the emotions and challenges of letting his wife flirt and explore her sexuality.

Is that men like "competition?" I'm not sure about that. But the boost it has done for my sexual and personal confidence has been incredible. And has put me in a much better place.

So, if you want your partner to fall in love with you all over again, remember the work you put into winning their heart in the first place.

Andee     xoxo

When Good Girls Go Bad

This is one I had a little fun with. It’s very good timing because it combines two of this weekend’s biggest philosophies.

How do you turn a normally good girl bad?

That’s easy … chocolate.

No? Well, I know some women who will do just about anything for some sweet, melt-in-your-mouth chocolate. They might even mix it with the other thing you guys like to consider a “melt-in-your-mouth” treat. And, of course, it is rumoured to be an aphrodisiac. I prefer to view it as a manipulative tool used by men to pry open our thighs by creating an insulin spike and rendering us too weak to resist their advances.

Ok, maybe not what you were really looking for in an answer, but it’s not that hard to figure there are some relatively easy ways to turn a good girl bad - if she is willing to be turned.

Some women struggle with their sense of sexuality out of some deep-rooted moral beliefs. A strict upbringing and a healthy dose of shame will pretty much keep a libido locked behind a psychological door for a long time. Even then, in some cases, a sexual intervention will never release them from that mindset.

Having said that, there are some of us who do like to think that, for the most part, we are good girls. I’m willing to admit that I have long been on the bad side of good, but wasn’t always that way. I was able to shed some of my small-town Catholic childhood and discover a whole bunch of fun thanks to a husband that showed me there are ways to enjoy life, experience new things and explore without fear of some relationship repercussions.

But, as you have heard me say for the past several months, I consider myself fortunate to have found someone who has been so encouraging and supportive in all of this. Of course, maintaining the illusion of innocence has become one of my greatest talents.

The first thing in trying to turn a good girl bad is to understand her attachment to her goodness. More times than not, it is usually something that is not entirely defined by her, but by some psychological need to live according to the conditions laid out by other people. It’s amazing how many people are afraid of living life because of the standards set down by societal pressure: “You don’t do that!” or “Mom’s don’t dress like that!” And preconceived notions about roles: the doting June Cleaver wife, etc.

Sadly, some good girls won’t even consider fleeting moments of bad because of a fear of jealousy. Controlling relationships will destroy any shred of self-esteem and willingness to test the limits.

In order to help a good girl see the dark side you need to give her an awful lot of support, understanding, compliments and communication. Sometimes it takes small steps in order for a woman to find her way out of that comfort zone. She’s not going to feel sexy if she fears someone will judge her. Nor will she even attempt the smallest of adventures if she fears jealousy will rear its ugly head.

In my own experience, I certainly did not make the leap right into the deep end of all of this. In truth, we have spent a little better than 10 years in discovering many new salacious things together…less than half of the time we have been a couple. And more so, we have only really stepped out of the traditional sense of marriage in the past four or five years.

All of that took an awful lot of talking … and sometimes we even talked in bed in the dark so we couldn’t see each other blush as we confessed to some of our kinkiest thoughts. But we found a way to be open and open the doors to new experiences.

So, in order to turn a good girl bad, she is going to have to see that it will only enhance your opinion of her and make the connection you already share even stronger. Being good is OK, being bad is great - if you make it work. And most importantly, if you want to turn your good girl bad, it has to be clear that this is something meant to enhance the relationship. Being bad on your own will only lead to a different kind of bad: not the good kind.

Oh, and in case you didn’t make the connection between what I called the weekend’s two biggest philosophies: chocolate, and of course, good ol’ fashioned Christian guilt - the aphrodisiac and the libido killer.

Have a great Good Friday!

Andee     xoxo

Valentine's | And A Little Tuesday TMI

I’ll be honest guys, I haven’t really been all that inspired to be sexy, play sexy or act sexy the past couple days. There’s been quite a nasty cold making the rounds in our house, and it has decided to take up residence in me for a while.

The reality behind Valentine's Day is that not everyone buys into the romantic notion of what it means. For the most part, it has become a commercialized event designed to open your wallet more than your heart. And if you don't deliver on the day, you know you are going to hear about it for many years to come. That's a lot to dump on you guys.

Celebrating all that is supposed to be love can't be confined to one day per year. And if that is how you define your romantic intentions, then you might have bigger issues.

Of course, the idea behind a healthy relationship is to have the romance going strong year round. For a lot of guys that seems to be a struggle. It's like men are not allowed to be romantic in this day and age. Those that are, according to what I hear, are subjected to ridicule.

Fortunately I married someone who enjoys investing the effort into the other 364 days. And it pays in dividends for him in many assorted kinky experiences and positions.

And so, with today being a very special (or dreaded in some circles) day, I thought I should share something with you; even more so because I have been pretty consistent in sharing my thoughts on romance, passion and desire. I guess it would be not very Sexy Northern Angelish of me to jump over Valentine’s Day.

In the spirit of blogging, here is one of those TMI Tuesday sessions, with kudos for the questions going to http://tmituesdayblog.wordpress.com

1. Cupid is the god of desire, affection, and erotic love. As the myth goes, a person who is shot by Cupid’s arrow is filled with uncontrollable desire. On your behalf, who would you like Cupid to shoot?

A very good question, but I already have the answer - and I am pretty certain he has already been hit by Cupid's arrow: my husband. I'm lucky to have found someone that isn't just a husband, but my best friend, my lover and my biggest fan. The other men that come in and out of my life along throughout this sexual adventure aren't meant to take that place, but rather offer me some delightful, lustful experiences to enhance what I already have.

2. Earlier in the evening you had dinner at the Fook Yue Chinese Restaurant. You are feeling quite amorous. You open a fortune cookie in the bedroom. Three fortunes appear:

1- “Your patience will be rewarded.”  What would you like that reward to be?

As unromantic as this one is, my patience will be rewarded with me accomplishing a very important work-related goal. The pressure of having something so important and challenging looming over my head for the past three years has sometimes interfered with my romantic and sexual pursuits. It would be lovely to have this behind me, freeing my mind from worry and opening it up to focusing on the excitement and desires that remain contained.

2- “Try something new.”  What is the something new you want to try?

Without question, my "something new" is rooted in experiencing a true MFM threesome. As you have read in many of my blogs, tweets and on my website, this is a key Bucket List item for me.

3- ” ’tis better to give than receive.”  What would you like to give?

A dangerous proposition, to say the least. Keeping it something that you guys should expect to read from me on a day (and blog) like this: I would love to take a private moment to give a certain someone a mind-blowing - read between the lines - experience in his office. However, I also need to play by the rules set out by my husband, so we have to capture it on camera. A nice POV perhaps?

3. If you were to write a special Valentine message (e.g., card, letter, etc.) what is that message?

Despite what thoughts I share on here, the truth is I am a very traditional romantic. My special Valentine's message would focus on the sincerity of what my Valentine and I share together in the life we have made, the deep feelings of love and appreciation we share, and how blessed I feel to have found someone that captures everything within my heart and soul.

4. Are you doing something special for Valentine’s Day or is it just another day?

That remains to be seen. I suspect we will set up our Little Men for a nice dinner downstairs, while my husband and I enjoy something a little more candlelit and intimate. Nothing crazy, nothing over the moon. 

5. You must give chocolate to your secret Valentine for Valentine’s Day. The chocolate is in the shape of your what?

My true Valentine already enjoys everything not chocolate in that sense...but there is someone who I think would really enjoy getting his hands and mouth on my breasts. So maybe, for now, chocolate ones might have to suffice. Well, unless he is the one who gets to mould the chocolate on my naked breasts...and then lick all the extra chocolate off!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Andee     xoxo

Fantasies | Do They Mix With Marriage?

I think it's pretty obvious that my psyche of late has become fixated on the idea of sexual fantasies. Actually, more bluntly, fixated on MY sexual fantasies.

And let's be honest, it's not really something that I struggle with. Throughout this whole adventure of mine, fantasies have played a huge role; as has the discovery of new ones and the turning into reality of old ones. I am certainly not balled up in the fetal position in the corner of a darkened room trying to hide from the multitude of sexual images and thoughts that have taken over my imagination.

Far from it. I have embraced the opportunity I seem to have been blessed with in my marriage and regardless of where my fantasies sit in terms of "when" or "if," each of them have proven to be a very healthy component of my relationship at home.

As I have been allowing one particular one to evolve - and it's yet to be seen if it will truly become a whole reality - the conversations (and sex) I have been having with my husband have been nothing short of mind-blowing. To physical sense his reactions as I take him through the events of a moment I shared with another man, and to hear myself describe my body's reaction and the building desire within me at that moment, is an incredibly intimate experience.

And while this sexual heat is burning in our bedroom, I can't help but wonder how it is we have gotten to the stage. I'll be honest, sometimes I wonder if our relationship is meant to be this way. I look around at the couples we have surrounded ourselves with as friends and I don't see the same passion and excitement between them respectively. What seems to stand out most is the obvious lack of affection and physical contact between them.

And I wonder why...

Perhaps it is the expectations of what a "normal" marriage is supposed to be. But if you can't lust over your partner and best friend as much as you love them, then what is the fuel that keeps the fire burning? Or is marriage meant to be a time when that fire burns down to a bed of embers, with only the occasional flare up of spectacular flames?

What I do know is that if marriage is meant to be that way, then I am happy being out of sync with the expectations.

The messages we see around us - in the movies and television we watch, the literature we read - all tends to hint at sexual heat only existing between people in "forbidden" relationships: moments of adulterous passion is some hotel room or on office desks late at night. And never between two people committed to each other. Our society doesn't seem to embrace the idea that a married couple can turn up the temperature to boiling; rather, the message seems to be that a marriage is wrought with off-schedule libidos, the mundane "Well, it is Tuesday" positioning of the sexual relationship along with overall resentment and boredom.

It's almost as if women are not supposed to be sexy once they are married and have children.

While the recent events in my sexual adventure - and my whole-hearted desire to explore my lust with my Office Guy - cranked up the flames in my relationship with my husband, they also served to validate me as a woman. There are times when, as I mentioned in yesterday's blog, that we need to know we are sexual beings as well as wives and mothers. When my Office Guy told me how sexy he thought I was, he stroked my ego far more adeptly than his hands did to my breasts. And not as if that moment was anything short of erotic and wanted.

And that is more of what a fantasy is in my own mind. It's not the feeling of his hands running along the seam of my panties as he held me from behind and kissed my neck - although that was equally incredible. It was the discovery of being desired all over again.

Andee     xoxo

 

Relationships | Little Things Go A Long Way

This morning, as I was staggering into the bathroom still half-asleep, I noticed a small sticky note stuck to the mirror. I think I have told you guys before that my husband sometimes likes to do these silly little things that remind me that he is thinking of me.

And, I have no problem sharing with you that those little things are also some of the quickest ways into my panties.

This morning's note simply said that I will need to have an open mind today. I smiled and slipped into the shower wondering what he has in mind. Then, as I was getting dressed, I found another sticky note inside the panties that I had set out to wear today. This note had a very naughty and suggestive message about him performing oral sex on me...except I would have to endure the day thinking on that idea.

A sure-fire way to guarantee I will spend the day at work somewhat turned on and anxious for the evening.

Now, as silly as this may seem to some of you guys - leaving sticky notes inside a pair of panties - what I know is that there are far too many of you out there missing out on chances to dominate your partner's libido for the day like mine is doing today.

The thing that turns me on more about little moments like this is that they remind me that I play a special role in his life, and not just one as mother to his children, partner in a marriage. They say that that beyond the day-to-day stresses that take more from us than they give, we are still a couple very much in lust.

So, when was the last time you lusted after yours?

Andee     xoxo

Sex | Secrets For Sexcess ... or Excess!

By now, most of you who are regular visitors to this little rambling bit in my life should know that I have a bad habit of indulging in trashy women's magazines. Well, the truth is sometimes you need an escape from everything and the outrageous advice offered in these borders on great comedy.

I truly fear for those who take it word for word.

This morning I was reading this cute little "expert advice" column on "Eight Secrets of Sexually Satisfied Couples" and I thought ... right. To be fair, a couple of the points were actually very bang on. But mostly it was a very vanilla examination of what goes on behind closed doors - and I'm not sure that they have it all that accurate.

So, at the risk of coming across like a know-it-all, I thought I would offer my own insight into what makes for a sexcessful relationship:

Andee's Six Secrets For Sexcess

1. Sexcessful Couples Talk

You've read my soapbox stance on this repeatedly for over a year now, but there is a whole lot of truth to it. Communication is the key in a sexually healthy relationship, because couples need to not only talk about the day-to-day boring stuff like bills, groceries and mortgage rates, but they must also be able to talk about what turns that spark in their libido into a red-hot flame.

I don't know about you, but as I experience new things and mature, my interests, thoughts, desires and fantasies change with me. If I don't communicate these things with my husband, some day he'll wake up and think that he no longer knows me. To be sexcessful, you need to have an open mind and be able to connect with your partner. And great communication eliminates any of those awkward "assumptions" that can sometime occur.

2. Sexcessful Couples Connect Outside

Some people we know have kids...and it seems pretty obvious that they may have had sex at least that many times. I'm proud of the fact that my coworkers assume my husband and I are sexting every time I have my cellphone out at the lunch table. I love that they think I am a sex-craved pervert. And I'm proud our sex life is not confined to mattress dancing in our own bedroom.

A few weeks ago I wrote about my date night with my husband and the sex-toy fun I had on the way home in the front seat. I've had sex on a quiet country road where I left my handprints on the back window of my car; sex in a friend's bed while they were there doing the same; on camera while others watched; made sex videos...you get the picture (and there's a few of those out there too). We work at keeping the excitement level high by refusing to fall into a routine.

3. Sexcessful Couples Share

My husband knows me probably a little better than me...but that is because we live our relationship like an open book. We share everything. I tell my husband about the shameless flirting that goes on at work...usually while we are getting busy between the sheets. I let him watch when I pleasure myself, and every now and then, he returns the favour (overdue, sweetie!). And it doesn't stop there...but when you hide what goes on in your life - be it at work, school, home, social settings - from your partner, you are creating a barrier in the relationship.

I don't think I have ever been shy about sharing my interest/desire/passion/lust for experiencing a threesome with you guys...and you only get what I can manage to type. At home, with my husband, I share even deeper details, passions and fantasies - all with the intention of letting him into my sexual mind and stoking his lust for me. Love is great, especially when spiced with a little lust.

Which brings me, naturally to ...

4. Sexcessful Couples Fantasize

It is very healthy to fantasize; and it is very human. Our ability to use the imagination as one of the best sex toys around is incredible - and so, sex fantasies can be exceptionally positive and inspiring when it comes to getting busy.

“Some partners share fantasies routinely as a part of lovemaking not only because it is arousing, but because it gives the couple a sense of heightened intimacy, explains Stephanie Buehler, Psy.D., a certified sex therapist and director of The Buehler Institute in Orange County, California. 

Now, while this may sound all perfect and delightful, this is where it becomes even more important that couples have a strong level of communication already. If you've never opened that door before, suddenly blurting out to your partner that you want to have a wild night of threesome sex with that guy from the train may not generate the sexual enthusiasm you were hoping for...

5. Sexcessful Couples Experiment

I have to admit that I would have never imagined myself as an amateur sexual scientist. Then I met my husband. He has introduced me to so many new experiences and opened my mind to new desires and pleasures. Would I have developed such an attachment to my battery-operated boyfriend had my hubby not bought me one? Maybe, but probably not to the degree of toe-curling delight that I do now. Then there is the whole resolving of my bi-curious nature.

Is this for everyone? No, but couples need to find there own way with experimenting and allowing their sexual desires to come out. Maybe you are not in it for swinging from the chandeliers, or steamy pulsating orgies. But everyone has a little something they would like to try - does your partner know that about you?

6. Sexcessful Couples Don't Quit

One of the worst things I see in some of my friends' and family's relationships are that they settle for just "OK." They quit trying to keep the flames alive and simply fall into a routine of "Oh, it's Tuesday ..."

It's very frustrating to watch couples who have let the passion and sexual heat fade; even more so because I think people get caught up in perceived social acceptance that adults don't act that way anymore. Why do we lose the excitement and lust we enjoyed as teenagers just because we achieved some chronological number past 30?

There will always be those who say we shouldn't act like we love and lust over our partner in a public setting...and I say jealousy takes form in many different ways. When you quit trying to keep the flames of passion burning in a relationship, you've let those who feel it is their place to determine how we interact with others win in their miserable own mission.

I take pride in pissing off my miserable married coworkers with my overly sexed lifestyle and intimate connection with my husband.

I've earned the right to be sexsessful.

And sure, there are things like trust, respect and honour ... but those should be givens if you are in a committed relationship. Regardless of what you think works for other couples, you have to find your own way; and that starts with paying attention to all those important ways to connect with your partner.

Andee     xoxo

Relationships | A Lasting Marriage

Still trying to tame the tornado…I guess it’s just that time of year when life gets pretty crazy with the Little Men and their activities. If nothing else, the insanity makes it a real challenge to keep the heat on with the marriage, never mind the sexual adventure!

Earlier on someone asked me what I thought were the major factors to a lasting relationship - I've been in mine for over 20 years. Not that it makes me any sort of expert at all, just someone who likes a challenging topic to write about on these busy Wednesday nights!

I would say, the MAJOR factors - because there are so many, and each relationship has varying degrees of depth to them - would be the following:

Trust - trusting each other to do the right thing for the relationship, the family, the longevity of the relationship, and the person. And trust is one of the hardest things to earn, but one of the easiest things to lose in any relationship.

Friendship - is extremely important in the development of a relationship and adds to the foundation of trust. That's not to say you have to be identical, with identical interests, but you have to "like" your partner, as well as "love." There is a big difference.

Honesty - with honesty, there can be no trust. It is the cornerstone of a lasting relationship.

Compassion - you need to have a heart, and understanding and a willingness to open yourself up when most vulnerable.

Kindness/Respect - really, I think this goes without saying. It's the mortar that holds the foundation in place. I could never be with someone that did not respect who I am, and be supportive of my ambitions, dreams and goals.

Adventure - for me this is important. On the surface, I may look like a pretty average hockey mom/housewife to people, but I relish adventure and it plays a huge role in defining who I am. Without my partner sharing my sense of adventure, the relationship could not evolve constantly. Not to mention how dull life would be without it.

Whew ... my brain hurts now. LOL

Andee     xoxo

Getting It Makes You Look Younger

I think I finally found some trashy women's magazine advice that I can agree with. In an edition of Chatelaine magazine (I think it's only out in Canada), there was an article by a Toronto-based naturopath suggesting that sex helps keep you looking young.

OK, I'm sold...although I must say that I really should look barely legal given my sex life right now, but alright...

Anyway, there were a number of key points - mostly stuff we already knew - about why sex is good for us:


1. It's a natural pain reliever: Sex causes increased production of oxytocin, which is often referred to as the “love hormone".  Before orgasm, oxytocin, released from the brain, surges up to five times the normal level. This increase then leads to the release of endorphins, our natural pain-killing hormones. (Given how much I enjoy my orgasms...I should be numb from any pain!)

2. It’s a stress reliever: The endorphins released during sexual intercourse and orgasms are natural mood-boosters and stress relievers. Regular sex can also boost your self-esteem and increase intimacy between partners. Studies have found that semen does contain several mood-altering hormones that can reduce depression, testosterone, oestrogen, follicle-stimulating hormone, luteinizing hormone, prolactin and several different prostaglandins. Some of these changes have been detected in a women's blood within hours of exposure to semen. (Funny, I couldn't find anything about swallowing semen ... but I'm still willing to bet that it's not bad for me!)

3. It boosts immunity: Endorphins released during intimacy have been found to stimulate immune system cells that fight disease. Researchers have found higher levels of Immunoglobulin A in individuals who have regular sex. Immunoglobulin A is a type of antibody that helps to protect us from infections. It is normally found in high levels in the mucous membranes of the digestive and respiratory tracts.

4. It’s good for your heart: Intercourse, depending on your level of enthusiasm, can be considered aerobic exercise, burning up to 200 calories per session. Among other benefits, women who engage in regular sexual activity with their partners have higher levels of estrogen, which protects against heart disease. Research has found that men who have sex two times per week have fewer heart attacks than those who do not. The hormones released during sex cause an increase in blood pressure and heart rate, and it engages almost every muscle in the body.(And if you do it right, well, the cardio benefits go on and on and on and on ...)

5. It turns back the clock: A 2002 study found a 50 per cent reduction in overall mortality in the group of men who said they had the most orgasms. As I tweeted about on Monday, orgasms for me between the ages of 20 and 50 are good for your prostate and can increase your life span. Every time you reach orgasm, the hormone DHEA increases in response to sexual excitement and orgasm. DHEA can boost your immune system, improve cognition, keep skin healthy, and even work as an antidepressant. Therefore, the added health benefit is that you will feel—and look—younger, longer. (If you need a prostate exam, I'm not a doctor but I'll be happy to tickle it for you!!!)

6. It gives you a glow: Women who have more sex have higher levels of estrogen, which is essential to enjoying healthier, smoother skin. This increase in estrogen also helps to protect us from heart disease, osteoporosis and Alzheimer’s disease. Not only that, but the more sex you have, the more your partner will want it; when we are more sexually active we give off more pheromones, the chemicals we produce to increase the interest of the opposite sex. It also promotes the production of collagen, which keeps the skin supple and gives you a healthy glow. (And attracting the opposite sex is key when one fantasizes about multiple partners in one go!)

So, just in case anyone disputes that regular sex is anything but good ... well, read yesterday's blog about masturbation and let me know if you need a hand ;-)

Andee     xoxo

What He Does To Make Me Feel Sexy

So it seems like my flirting contest update proved to be a popular one. Had some awesome traffic from all you guys on that one … including the comment left by my friend H which led to yesterday’s update.

But I kind of like being the popular one … it’s a very good ego boost.

Out all that silliness though, I did get into a pretty intriguing chat with another online friend of mine who has been enjoying all the thoughts and crazy moments. But, as conversations are likely to go every now and then, my friend asked me:

What is something your guy does for you that makes you feel sexy … but isn’t sex-related?

Well, one of the things to keep in mind, especially given the recent blogs about oral sex, flirting and my occasion Twitter Sex Confession Wednesdays, is that my life is actually very routine. I use this blog and my website and tweets as a way to keep the flames of passion burning in my relationship, given the crazy schedules my husband and I keep. The moments of sexual adventure captured on here are a bit of a Reader’s Digest thing - all the good stuff condensed for you.

Honestly, I am a very normal, typical girl-next-door. So like every other woman, I long for the sincere and unexpected compliments that seemingly come from nowhere. We kind of have fragile egos, and so those are very important.

On a personal level, I truly adore getting a compliment or I love you NOT during sex. While my husband is pretty good at stroking my ego outside of the bedroom, those kind of compliments go so much further than the sexually-charged, gotta-say-something-between-thrusts comments. Compliments that come from out of the blue are way better at ensuring I am a sure thing later that evening than waiting until the heat of passion prompts you.

Recently my hubby scored big time with exactly that kind of moment. I had managed to talk him into coming clothes shopping with me, which isn’t really hard, but it was a nice way to spend a weekday afternoon together without kids.

I tried on the dress from Update 352, and had just walked out of the change room. Before I could even ask, he blurted out “Get it.” I was stunned because he usually needs a bit of encouragement when it isn’t slutty or lingerie. I asked “Do you like it?” He just said “Yes. Get it.” Later he explained that he thought the dress looked great on me and there wasn’t really any need for debate.

After being with the same guy for 20 years, it felt really nice to know he still found me attractive. I know he does, he says he does, but to see that look on his face as he’s going “Get it” made me feel truly sexy.

Another thing he does, as simple as it is, a couple times I have just commented in passing about how I love a new song that is out and then the next day as I am listening to my iPod I hear the song downloaded onto it. The fact that he listens to me and cares enough to surprise me with a new song on my play list like that … that really makes me feel sexy.

Andee     xoxo

Image Challenge | What Is The 'Ideal?'

There was an article on Yahoo this morning saying how one-third of women would give up at least one year of life to be “thin.” The results were from a British survey done recently and initially published in an article in the Daily Mail.

While I am not surprised by the result, I am a bit disappointed. The survey says that these women are in pursuit of the ideal body – but it doesn’t really explain what that is other than dropping the names of a couple celebrities. I guess we can go on what society indicates as the size-0 actress with millions of dollars to spend on personal trainers or what health experts suggest as the appropriate body mass index for age, height and race.

The Daily Mail

But I think the results are more revealing about our societal standards when it comes to the perceived “perfect” body.” Deeper in to the report, it suggests that 93 per cent of women have had “body-conscious” issues over the past week – now that I can buy.

“This really highlights how important appearance is for women. Unfortunately, body weight and shape is seen as not only an indicator of how beautiful they are and also often of a marker of success in their life,” says one of the experts chiming in on the subject.

Since I have cut all my hair off, I have been in a constant battle with myself over the results. The vast majority of women I work with continue to compliment me on the new style – but in a “wish I had the courage to do that” kind of way. I mentioned to my husband that I, quite vainly, noticed that the guys don’t seem to notice as much anymore. I went through the “we need to start working out and change our diet” spiel.

For women, this is a huge conundrum. While some don’t like the ogling and flirting, there are many of us that do … and miss it when it stops. I don’t want you to “love me like a sister.” I want you to lust after me like a secret girlfriend. And yes, I’m all right with admitting that there is a hint of attention whore in me. I don’t want to be the one people don’t remember, or the shrinking violet from high school.

Yes, some of us are fickle that way.

And when we hit the points in life, we shrink into our image issues and begin to wonder if things have changed on a larger scale because we’re tipping the scale.

So yesterday I was telling my husband this, and he expectedly scoffed at my notions – and went to work on assuring me that I was mistaken. The problem, he says, is that I have lost my motivation to work for it anymore, like many women; lost the effort to work for your attention. I hated to admit he was right … it was the “I need chocolate now” moment of the day.

He says men can quickly distinguish between a woman that carries herself in a sexy and confident way versus a woman that is just on the hunt. The blue eye shadow is a dead giveaway … and in typical Mr. Andee fashion, he promptly issued a two-part challenge to me. I may have mentioned in past of his affliction for fashion, and so having gone through my closet and sorted out what I should be wearing to work, I now find myself on slightly dangerous, definitely edgy path – with motivation.

From now until Labour Day – six months – I have been challenged to use my days out of the lab as days when I must put maximum effort into style and appearance: an image challenge. The intent is for him to prove to my sometimes-doubting self-esteem that it’s not long hair that gets attention, but a variety of things.

(Of course, I know that … but guys, read into this how a spark in a relationship comes in many different, sometimes kinky, ways. Was it intentional on my part? No … but how can I not love a man that wants to dress me up and show me off without a hint of jealous possessiveness?)

And with each challenge comes consequence and reward. From tomorrow until the final day, any day in play will go down like this: if just one guy compliments my appearance, I must provide my loving husband with a little oral action that night. Conversely, if he fails in his bid to get guys to flirt shamelessly with me, then he owes me the return favour of a little tongue action.

Either way, it’s a win-win way to put a new spark into the relationship … not to mention some new CFMs if I tell him that they are an important part of fashion today.

Andee     xoxo