Talking Dirty And Getting In Trouble

A number of years ago I had a blog on a much different kind of website. Unfortunately, that turned into a very disappointing experience, so I’m certainly not going to provide them with any kind of promo. But, even though it wasn’t a positive ending for me, I did manage to archive my blog entries from there before I moved on to something a lot more in tune with my ambitions and personality. So, as we eek through another week, I thought this would be something fun to share once again.

The subject remains the same, but I’ve certainly added to my track record since I first answered the question … consider it one of those “if I knew then, what I know now” predicaments.

Anyway, on that particular website, someone who I interacted with wanted to know what the best kind of trouble I got into while talking dirty. There are kind of two answers to that …

A few years ago, words led me into the act of turning fantasy into reality during our exploration into the swinging lifestyle. These days that part of the adventure is somewhat “on hold” as far too many other priorities have taken hold of our time – and imagination – and therefore we’re sitting it out for a while.

It wasn’t so much about “talking dirty” but a lot more innuendo mixed with more than a couple feel-good beverages is what led to our first real swinging situation. My husband and I were at a neighbour’s party when I got into a conversation with the husband of another couple that was there. The conversation started off innocent enough, but gradually grew more sexually-infused as we talked ... and drank.

I hadn’t realized it, but we spent a good couple of hours immersed in this kind of banter hinting at sex and sexual experiences when the subject turned to me getting my nipple ring – which I still had at the time. Naturally this came out as a bit of a shock to a couple of people, because on the surface, I really am a very “average” girl-next-door type. They were shocked – and intrigued – to learn about my hidden wild side. Next thing you know, I’m out in the garage (a couple people were having a cigarette), pulling up my top to show him (and the others who took time away from their smoke to have a peek). There was a great deal of continued conversation about how much fun it was to play with, the erotic sensations that go straight to my pussy, etc.

Lo’ behold, a couple weeks later my husband and I are in bed exploring with this couple and having an exceptionally naughty and orgasmic time.

Talking dirty is also the way I learned to appreciate anal sex and toy play at the same time.

Anal isn't something I give up too often – much to my husband’s frustration (sorry Honey!). But one night we were having a really good session after playing on the computer for a bit. I was on my hands and knees, thoroughly enjoying the moment...and we started talking about double penetration. My hubby was teasing me with his fingers from behind and getting me very into the whole fantasy of having two beautifully hard men taking me.

After tormenting me this way for a few minutes and making me confess that I would love to have two guys in me at the same time, he grabbed one of my toys and some lube and began to tease me again. With my butt sticking up in the air, he lubed himself up and slid into my ass, and told me to tell him how much I would like to be taken by two guys. I started rubbing my vibrator in the good spots, and then pushed it into me.

I can't describe just how incredible it felt to be completely filled ... but let me tell you ... my fantasy for a threesome with two mean was solidified at that point. I definitely knew that was one of the best ways to explore a little bit of "trouble."

To this day, my husband still takes me to that point in sex where my mind is swirling, desperate for release and then makes me confess some of my naughtiest thoughts.

Hope that brightens your day! I'm off to play in the shower now ;-)

Andee     xoxo

TMI Tuesday | Navigating Sex

As much as I might like to consider myself in the midst of a sexual adventure, sometimes it can be a very delicate balance between desire and disaster. But, regardless of what you might consider an "adventure," we have all found ourselves in those situations where feelings can be complicated and our sexual connections just not ... connecting.

Some interesting questions for this week's TMI Tuesday.

Answer yes or no:

• I regret my first kiss
• I miss my first love
• I married my first love
• I loved someone that didn’t love me

Hmm … don’t know if I would say any of these are extremely accurate, with the exception of marriage. I believe I have married my true love, but I also believe that we are capable of loving on many different levels.

My first kiss was pretty much what every young teen girl goes through, with a boy who just happened to be the boy of the moment. I've kissed quite a few since then, and a few girls along the way too!

I certainly don't miss my first "love" ... but wish I knew better at the time and would have been a bit more cautious about giving my heart away.

Do you consider yourself monogamous or polyamorous or some other category which you will explain or define for us now?
Mostly monogamous. We have dabbled in the swinger’s lifestyle and managed to explore sexually with other people – but we have never taken it beyond some hot, steamy moments and oral sex. Are these the opening doors of things still to come? I can’t say because, although my interest in continuing to explore is extremely high, it can be complicated when you are a finicky as me. However, we definitely don’t qualify for the polyamory category and can’t admit that we are active swingers. I suppose the category that would define us best is “sexual adventurers.” We love to explore, we love to test the limits, but at the same time we are wimpy and love the sense of security of being married and mostly monogamous.

Your partner is in the mood for sex and you are tired – what do you do?
   a) Start snoring. There is no way I’m giving it up tonight.
   b) Trade. You give me a massage…and we will see…
   c) That would never happen!
The only answer that really fits is c). But the truth is I am more for negotiations for a rain cheque. I might be tired tonight, but how about we set the alarm for a few minutes earlier in the morning?

Does your partner mind if you masturbate, in bed, while they are there?
I would say, about 50% of the time when I masturbate my husband is right there, watching and sometimes helping. I'm one of those women, as I have said a number of times, that needs a little help achieving orgasm. So, with that reality, our sex life tends to involve a fair bit of manual manipulation.

On the other side, I would love it if he would include me in more of watching him do the same, but that seems to be something he keeps to himself a great deal.

Describe your typical sexual romp:
   a) You are playful and tame
   b) You have occasionally introduced a few things like outfits and toys
   c) You love trying new things and shocking your partner
A bit of b) and a healthy dose of c). We’re beyond the “occasional” part of sex toys and naughty outfits – mostly due to the little naughty hobby we have on the side and the fact that I have a substantial collection of battery-operated marital aids, but I don’t think that our sex romps are always about trying new things. Having said that, I always love new things when sex is involved!

BONUS: What was your best ever masturbation experience? Why was it the best? Describe.
Wow, that is is tough one to answer. There's been some crazy moments for me, but I think one that stands out as one of the best is the first time that I masturbated on webcam. Masturbation tends to be a hugely private thing for me, but in the early days of my sexual adventure I was discovering a lot about the Internet and the kinkiness it can add to your evenings.

It was something that I found very exhilarating and liberating - as I had never done anything like that in front of anyone but my husband. I remember spending most of the evening teasing and tormenting with the guy I was chatting with, and watching him reveal himself to me. I was getting hornier as the night went on, and as my husband was working, it felt even naughtier.

Andee     xoxo

Sex | Getting A Facial

A somewhat interesting discussion broke out the other day at lunch, around the idea of “spit vs. swallow” but really about “swallow vs. facial.” Naturally, I always enjoy these kinds of conversations as they not only cover off one of my most favourite topics – sex, but also I find I learn so much about the bizarre attitudes that some of my friends seem to have about certain intimate acts between consenting adults.

One of my friends strongly views the “facial” finish in oral sex as an insult; almost as if it comes across as a sexist and derogatory completion to an act she already has some serious issues with. Of course, she is also one who I would be willing to bet uses her mouth for anything but blowjobs.

As a woman who thoroughly enjoys taking a man into my mouth and driving him to the point of orgasm, I felt it was important to share some ideas on the topic; mostly because I see that kind of attitude as a barrier to greater sexual adventures. If you take offence to something that you are a willing participant in for 95% of the moment, then decide “OK, that’s it” just before the big finish, well … maybe you need to have some serious conversations in your relationship.

I’ll admit that it took me quite a long time to adjust to the idea of swallowing a man’s cum. I would find ways to take the intimacy in a different direction before I would have to confront my apprehension. And, to be fair, I didn’t get a lot of complaints anyway.

The lack of pressure from my partner to actually finish him off by swallowing enabled me to get comfortable in my own mind with the idea, and then when I had confronted my fears and overcame them, the pure delight and appreciation from my partner was a massive boost to my confidence – and willingness to repeat the act.

These days I find myself actually wanting to make him cum in my mouth and am perfectly content with pulling out my favourite vibrator afterwards and letting him watch as I bring myself to orgasm.

And there are times when I actually do want my guy to blow his load all over me. I find it an equally erotic moment to watch from such a close angle as he cums. The sensation of those hot spurts on my flesh, and the knowledge that I am the one who is making him cum, is an incredible turn-on. I suppose it is connected to the idea that I don’t see oral sex as a submissive act; in reality, women can hold an incredible amount of sexual power in with their mouth.

 

It doesn’t hurt that my partner repeatedly tells me that I am good at it.

On the other side of the debate, I also happen to think that for the most part, having a man cum on me instead of in me is a bit of a short-change for him. In my own sexual experience, I have learned that the majority of the men in my life want the “swallow.” The incredible sensation for him, combined with idea of “reward” is an amazing sexual experience. It’s kind of like eating a delicious cream-filled doughnut, without eating the cream; why bother?

I realize that there are many women who just can’t fathom the idea of cum in their mouth; and that’s a shame … understandable, but still a shame. Hopefully they are able to find ways to enhance the intimacy with their partners as opposed to using the “spit vs. swallow vs. facial” debate as a bone of contention in their sexual experience.

Andee     xoxo 

TMI Tuesday | Fill In The Blanks

I always enjoy sharing my thoughts with you, and even though I have been suffering from blogger's block lately, little questions like today's TMI Tuesday make it easier to get my mind into that sexual space where the best ideas tend to hang out.

This week, we are sharing our information "Fill in the blanks" style.

1. I’m the type of person that likes to be ENTERTAINED in bed.
I initially considered saying "sweaty," which is also something I like to be in bed ... but only during sex. Being entertained in bed can mean a number of different things. First off, from a sexual perspective, I love having sex that has a creative element to it, whether physical or mental - the sharing of naughty ideas and fantasies in the heat of passion. Secondly, and let's be honest, not everyone have sex every time they are in bed ... so, I like to be entertained by reading. Reading is one of my biggest passions, and my bed allows me the peace and privacy I need to let my imagination absorb the ideas on the pages.

2. If the sexiest person I know propositioned me for sex, I would WILLING AGREE.
I'm a sexual being ... I love sex, love exploring new sexual experiences and would dive right in to the opportunity. But, there would need to be some conditions. While I think my husband is the sexiest person I really know, that answer would bore you. You want to know about someone outside of my marriage, and that would be agreeable, and my husband would definitely want to be there to watch and perhaps hold the camera.

3. The worst part about BEING ALONE when I am naked is THE COST OF BATTERIES.
Um, this was tougher than I first thought; especially with the first blank required to make the sentence grammatically correct. Anyway, some fun for the answer, because when I am alone and feeling horny, I tend to lie back and enjoy my fantasies while my trusted little vibrator massages me into blissful orgasm. I dread to think how much I have spent on batteries over the years - I probably should have bought shares in the company.

4. I regret my first TIME.
Well, let's be honest, most of us do to a certain extent. I was inexperienced, far too young (in my mind) and really wished I had waited.

5. The last sexual/kinky thing I expected to like was ANAL SEX.

I have said several times before, had I not met my husband, I doubt I would have explored and discovered so many incredible things sexually. He has been a wonderful partner and encourager of my sexual adventure and always allowed me to experiment and dabble with a number of kinky ideas. I never would have imagined that anal sex would be something that I enjoy, but as it turned out, given the right state of mind, the right amount of lube and the right position - bazinga!

6. Recently, I FLASHED someone.
Well ... not THAT kind of flash ... but certainly a little "can you see I'm wearing stockings to work today as I let the hem of my dress inch up just a little bit under the table in the lunch room" kind of naughty tease. I know he saw, the expression on his face gave him away. Chalk another naughty office distraction victory up to yours truly. Other than that, I can't say I'm really much of a "get the girls out" kind of girl. I can count on one hand the number of times I have actually done that ... and none of them have been very recent.

BONUS: You have been kidnapped by lesbians and dragged into a lesbian orgy, what are you going to do?
Well, the expression is "when in Rome ..." so I would have to think when you find yourself immersed in the delightful sexual debauchery of a lesbian orgy, you must get yourself naked and plunge in head (and tongue) first.

Andee     xoxo

Sex | My Guilty Pleasures

What is it about sexual pleasure that makes us feel guilty? The shadows of our parents’ moral lessons? Or maybe society’s message that some things will forever remain “dirty” when indulged in? Despite how liberal our society has become, there is a social stigma attached to sex as a subject for public discussion. We can share all kinds of other deeply personal information with our peers and social circle, but sex is a taboo no matter how healthy and positive it is.

I'm not sure what it is, but sex remains something we're still not able to be open about. And so, whenever sex is on the menu, someone is bound to suggest we should feel guilty if we are enjoying it – or, in some circles, guilty for doing it for a purpose other than procreation.

What's one sexual guilty pleasure that you wouldn't openly tell your friends about? Why?
I'm not sure narrowing it down to just one guilty pleasure is good enough. There are a number of things that, sadly, I just can't be open about. I live in a pretty vanilla, very stereotypical suburban environment, where the only time sex ever comes to the forefront of conversation is when someone is banging someone they shouldn't be. I think most people are afraid to be known as sexual creatures.

Even this past weekend, my husband and I went to an annual sex show, where we usually scope out new ideas for my website, dabble in a little bit of our kinks, and maybe spend just a bit too much money on toys and lingerie.

So, one of the easy answers for something I would never disclose is the actual number of toys I own. There are a couple friends that know about my turbo bunny – but thanks to Sex And The City, it has been the one toy that is almost acceptable among girlfriends to admit to. But I'm not so sure I could have a similar discussion about my 9-inch black dildo, or the several other vibrating silicone sex toys that fill my drawer beside the bed.

Sex toys, while most women have them, suggest that there must be something else to what goes on in the bedroom – falsely. They have nothing to do with my husband's performance, nor mine. They have everything to do with a delicious enhancement and thrill to pretty much every time we get busy ... and damn, they're fun!

Which brings me to another topic that I just can't really dish on to people in my real life: the sexual habits of my husband and I.

On the way home the other night from the Everything To Do With Sex Show, we were discussing the situation between my Office Guy and I, and where things have gone lately. Save the whole story for another day, but it's just not as hot and heavy as it used to be –and quite frankly, I think my friend is struggling with his own sense of guilt/emotional baggage.

But as my husband was sharing his thoughts on the situation, he said "Can you imagine what our friends would think if they knew about any of this?" The idea that a married woman has the freedom to explore her sexual desires with a man other than her husband ...

Truth is, most people might like to fantasize about exploring sexually, but I get the sense that few ever act upon it – and that is what makes me afraid of sharing anything too personal with those not directly involved in my ongoing adventure.

Andee     xoxo