Trying Not To Look Too Slutty

It has been a while since I dug into my collection of questions from people I have encountered on here and some of the other online avenues of my life; and with the sun starting to actually melt the frozen tundra that is my neighbourhood I thought it would be a good time to put some specific answers out there.

This one came from one of my Twitter followers a few weeks ago and has kind of sat in my mind – and archive – for a bit.

When you get dressed up, do you pay attention to whether you look 'too slutty'?

Outside of the fun that happens with me online, there are kind of two realities at work for me as to why this isn’t really an issue: my personal struggle with fashion and my offline environment not being truly conducive to being that way.

I have said before that a tremendous amount of my personal style belongs to the fashion sense of my husband. He is a very unique man who could spend hours – and hundreds of dollars – taking me shopping. Almost all the outfits you see when I post pics on my blog and Twitter are the result of him taking the time to pick something out for me (with the exception of some lingerie and boots, which I have been ‘spoiled’ in receiving from a couple male friends). Without that guidance, I would easily opt for the most comfortable and practical style … and certainly not have the ability to tease, flirt and torment as much as I do!

Some of the women I work with, quite literally, ask if they can take him shopping with them after they discover that a certain outfit was something he picked out, etc.

In those moments when I feel like pushing the envelope a little, my decisions are completely based on being a distraction – but not so much that it would impact my professional reputation. I aim for the “sexy” most of all.

Secondary to that, my day-to-day life is rooted in a very conservative work environment. I occasionally push the limits a little with some shorter hems and by wearing my friends’ lingerie underneath, but for the most part I can’t get away with too much. Heck, we even have a policy for heel height – which rules out all those impossible sky-high stilettos you guys love on us.

And, my day-to-day-not-at-work life is rooted in playing taxi driver to a couple of exceptionally busy young men. I’m sure I could get away with being a little sexier in my outfits for those nights when I’m just a spectator to their activities – and likely not get any complaints from the Dads in attendance – but it’s not always practical to be wearing a miniskirt and heels to a hockey game.

But, having said that, every now and then, the opportunity arises for me to go out on a hot date with my husband and not dress so “Momish.” Again, I get an awful lot of advice and requests from him … and occasionally I will relent and slip into something just so we can cut the night short and get home early (if you know what I mean).

Even then, my husband’s fashion sense isn’t about trying to make me look “slutty” as much as it is about trying to help me feel confident, stylish and sexy.

In all honesty, the only times I have ever felt close to ‘slutty’ are a couple of occasions when we went to a lifestyle club – but my initial concerns over my own outfit were soon dispelled by what I saw other women almost wearing. And in that kind of setting, their sluttier seems to be the better!

I think there is a need to understand what “too slutty” can mean. With some people, they think that a woman should stop wearing certain styles when they reach a certain age. But others think that when a woman reaches a certain age, she should dress how she wants because she has the confidence in her sexuality to let all those societal conventions disappear.

I think there is a difference between what may be acceptable in our society and what might be a bit much, but at the end of the day, if a woman has the confidence to carry her sense of style off, then who are we to pass judgment?

Andee     xoxo 

TMI Tuesday | Show Me Something Sexy

Are you ready for Santa? In just one week, the big guy in the red suit will be sliding down the chimney ... and damn, I hope that naughty list goes up in flames!

This week with TMI Tuesday, we look at just some of the more recent naughty events that may have put me on that other list. But let's be honest, even Santa can appreciate a naughty girl every now and then!

What is the sexiest thing you have done in the past two months?
It’s been a wildly busy two months for my husband and I, so incredible tales of wild, swinging weekends and sexual adventures best saved for graphic romance novels aren’t really at my disposal right now – unless you want to slip inside my overactive imagination. But, that said, sexy doesn’t always have to be something extreme and crazy. Sometimes sexy can simply be a moment spent completely invested in making someone feel special and loved. With that in mind, I would say the sexiest thing I have done in the past two months is invest a good part of a couple days drawn into some very steamy sexting with my husband, followed by some very sweaty sex at unusual hours for a married couple with busy lives and busy children.

Connecting on an emotional level like that, after spending the day wrapped up in a technology-aided sexual whirlwind, can be extremely sexy. If not equally important, in order to keep the flames of passion burning in a relationship.

What is the sexiest thing you have worn in the past 30 days?
Without a doubt, the sexiest thing I have worn in the past month is some incredible lingerie that a friend sent for me to wear. You can see from the attached image, a small peek at the outfit …

For me, the outfit is sexy on a number of levels: first, just the look. When I first saw this lingerie, during an online shopping spree with my friend, I said it was very sexy. It’s not over the top; it’s not “cheesy”. It has a classic look and mood to it. It’s the kind of lingerie that is meant to be worn, not just something for a “stockings and lace” swingers’ party. Along with that, it is the kind of lingerie that I can – and will – wear under a dress just like the one in the photo. Unlike some of the lingerie on my website, this can be practical in a very sexy and flirtatious manner offline!

Secondly, it is sexy because of the kinkiness behind it. This is lingerie that someone other than my husband bought for me to wear. For me, that adds to the excitement … and the desire to slip it on and behave in a very naughty way, even when the camera isn’t pointed at me. Knowing that someone else is enjoying the reality behind that ... uh huh, that is sexy to me.

What is the sexiest thing you have watched in the last 30 days?
Settling into one of my more kinky thoughts, the one thing that I find incredibly sexy is when I get to watch my husband stroke himself. I can’t explain just how much of a turn-on that is for me – to be able to just watch and enjoy. I guess because it allows me to see how he brings himself to an erection and his technique for pleasuring himself. To me, this is incredibly sexy – and made even more so because it’s a somewhat rare treat.

What is the sexiest thing you have heard in the last two weeks?
“Sweetie, I did the vacuuming.”

I dare you to find anything more orgasmic to a woman’s ears than hearing a verbal confirmation of actual housecleaning from their spouse. Talk about instant arousal.

The coup de grace was: “I also emptied the dishwasher.”

Damn, now I’m horny just reminiscing about it all.

What is the sexiest thing you’ve said in the last 24 hours?
Does reading the answers featured above count as “the last 24 hours”?

BONUS: Tell us or show us something sexy.

And there you go, some sexy naughtiness to get us in the mood for some serious seasonal fun!

Andee     xoxo

My Growing Interest In Lingerie

Over the past couple years I have developed a taste for nice lingerie; partly due to my evolving tastes in what I personally think is sexy, and partly due to the reaction it produces at home, at work and within myself. To say that looking sexy and feeling sexy is not an ego boost would just be misleading. As a woman ages, she needs even more reassurance that she still has the feminine ability to attract men.

And even though we have great sources for lingerie these days – places like Fredericks of Hollywood and Victoria's Secret – I think a lot of women have given up on the “old-fashioned idea” of sexy. It doesn’t help that pop culture has turned overtly slutty into the modern ideal of socially-acceptable sexy, but as long as size 0 models with size 0 IQs continue to flaunt it as fashion, well, we’ll just never get more women into the idea.

Lingerie has been reduced to seemingly only involve matching bras and panties these days. Of course, the traditional two-piece ensemble are an amazing part of any girl’s trousseau, but I can’t help wonder if there are other younger women out there that have a daily interest in sexy lingerie beyond just two pieces. And by that I mean, lingerie for the sake of personal interest, not as stage clothes and photographic wardrobe.

Without question, the modern idea for many lingerie enthusiasts remains steadfast in its connection to naughty Santa's helpers and Valentine's Day attire. But what about discovering the sexiness of wearing lingerie on an every day basis?

Yesterday, one of my newest pieces of lingerie made its debut on my website; and from all accounts so far, was well-received. I know it sure as hell was well-received at home – and I have every intention of seeing exactly how it might work for me at my work.

I think the idea of lingerie for something beyond posing for a camera is finding the balance between "feeling sexy" and "made for sex" ... because there is a very distinct difference. I can wear the feeling sexy lingerie all the time - including when sex is on the agenda, but I'm not sure I can wear the made for sex lingerie under a sexy dress for a day at the office.

In a way, my hobby has been a key determining factor in my desire for sexier underthings. I’m blessed with a husband who recognizes the need to keep my drawers filled with naughty lace things, and have developed a few friends with guys who enjoy seeing me in items they have bought for me as well. Of course, it’s hard not to have fun when those things combine all for my benefit.

Andee     xoxo

Sex | The Unexpected Moments

There is something to be said about still being able to be surprised sexually at this stage in my life. It's not that I have a wealth of experience compared to some of the people I read about online, but knowing what a lot of the people in my offline life think, I've done a lot. And while I know there are so many things yet to be discovered, and many things that I would love to do all over again, what really gets me going are the spontaneous sex acts that still pop up every now and then.

To me, there is something really erotic about a sexual moment that is completely unplanned.

With that in mind, when this question popped up a while back, I thought it would make for an intriguing Formspring Friday update.

What was the most unexpected sexual experience you've ever had?

There's a few spontaneous quickies that easily come to mind, but the biggest unexpected sexual event in my life has to be the time when my husband and I literally could not wait to get home to get busy and we ended up parking on the side of a quiet dirt road and having sex in the cornfield.

Sure, it may not rate as wild and crazy as going at it on the elevator ride to the top of the Eiffel Tower, or having my skirt lifted from behind in the middle of a concert while the crowd rocked out to some hair metal. But for me it marks the real beginning of my sexual adventure ... the point in time when all the pillow talk and heat-of-the-moment fantasies turned into reality.

I've blogged about it before, but as a refresher ...

We had made all the plans to visit a lifestyle club after doing some research and careful planning. The night turned out to be quite hot - including me dancing topless in a crowd of people. That was a huge leap for me in my discovery. After having the time of our life at the club, we headed towards home. It was in the car when we realized just how horny we both were - now away from the music and crowd and able to talk about things. I was so turned on that it didn't take much for me to lift up the hem of my tiny dress and proceed to masturbate myself to two quick orgasms.

It was more than my poor husband could take ... he found a remote side road, backed our car into a field lane and then proceeded to drill me hard from behind. I left the handprints on the back windshield for weeks as a reminder of our naughtiness.

Sure, not as crazy as a lot of other people's experiences, but for me at that point of time in my life and marriage, this was a huge step towards a whole new level of intimacy in my relationship with my husband and myself. I learned so much about myself during that experience - which is what made it that much more unexpected.

On a more strictly-sexual level, the most recent unexpected moment came this summer following a coworker's stag and doe party. My husband had been toying with me all day about wearing a sexy little skirt and going commando. Knowing this was a party where people I worked with would be, I was reluctant to fulfill his wish outright. Close to the end of the evening, I slipped into the ladies room, removed the tiny panties I had been wearing and upon returning to our table, slipped them into his pocket.

In the elevator ride down to the parking lot, we enjoyed a very passionate kiss and quick fondle. I was expecting a bit of a playful ride home - much like the earlier description of me masturbating in the front seat as we cruised along. As we got to our truck, my husband pulled me along to the back and picked up on the kissing. As he did, he slid his hand under my skirt and began to play with my wet pussy.

Then, unexpectedly, he dropped to his knees, hiked up my skirt and proceeded to lick me thoroughly. After several minutes, he stood up and kissed me deeply so I could get a very delicious taste of me on him. Just as I figured I was going to get another good pounding from behind, the interior light from a car parked a few down from us came on. I'm not sure how long - or even if he was - sitting in the driver's seat, but part of me still gets a little excited by the idea that we may have given him a great late night show.

Once we got home, I led my date down the side of the house and then gave him a blowjob as a little extra something to end the night.

Andee     xoxo

My Sexual Insecurities

It’s kind of funny ... not one of those funny “ha ha” moments, but one of those “why do you ask” situations. I don't think it has been much of a secret over the past few months that I have been taking my fashion choice for work to a little sexier level. If you follow me on Twitter, or keep up with the occasional tale on here, you'll know what I mean.

The other day I was asked if I had some sort of “agenda” for these recent changes in work wear; as if there was something behind my decision to go beyond my comfort zone. It’s been a little better than a year since I began to dress up more frequently, and without obvious reason such as a meeting or presentation. One of the big motivators in me stepping beyond the lab coat and scrubs has been a feeling of insecurity; and a need to reassure myself that I can still turn the head of a man that isn't my husband.

This is even more important to my emotional state of mind following a tediously long stretch in the lab where we are not allowed to wear jewellery and/or make-up. Say what you want, but for some of us that leaves us feeling more vulnerable than standing naked on stage in front of thousands of people.

I think it's fairly natural to suggest that as a woman ages, she has feelings of doubt as to her sexuality and attractiveness. The diet, fitness and washed-up celebrity endorsement industries rely heavily on this phenomenon. Without our feelings of "less than perfect" there would be dozens of 80s sitcom supporting cast members working stage shows in the Poconos – not to mention a library of self-help books doing nothing but collecting dust.

On a personal level, I have found myself being remarkably surprised at how much I enjoy the transformation – and challenge of finding my "sexy" again. I work in an environment that doesn’t always allow me to feel remotely that way and so when the opportunity arises these days, I have this desire to make the most of it.

I don’t have a problem exploring what it takes to indulge in the sexual me and touching the line without crossing it. OK, some days I like it when that line is very grey; not quite 50 shades of grey, but fuzzy and not so easily identified.

I admit that I like the attention I receive from my Office Guys and some of the other men at work. I like the extended glances from the power suits and the flirty smiles in the hallways.

Does it define me as a woman? No; not in the least. What defines me as a woman is the love I have from my family, the role I play as a wife and a mother.

Some might think it is rather superficial – however, even the superficial in life has the power to influence one’s mood and add some positivity to a person’s self-esteem. And as much as we need the emotional fuel for the soul, we also need a little stroking here and there of the fragile outer ego.

A woman also wants to be appreciated for all those superficial, societal ideals – her style, her sexual prowess and willingness to play the combined role of Madonna and whore. We want to be respected for our intellect, but still lusted over. And we do want to catch you looking at our cleavage or checking out our legs in that miniskirt.

We don’t want to have to explain how all of that fits into this really complex double standard.

The other side of this relates to my husband. While I am not a fan of shopping, and often admit to having no sense of real style, he loves both – and I’m the lucky recipient of his passion for that. I have a closet full of great clothes thanks to him, and he constantly encourages me to step out beyond the standard comfy go-to clothes.

And those days when I am feeling a bit braver, slip on a nice dress and maybe some risqué lingerie underneath, I can count on a constant flow of suggestive and ego-boosting texts from him. It doesn’t hurt that if he thinks for a moment that another man may show a peaked interest, he becomes incredibly turned on. And it doesn’t hurt for a moment that all of those influences help ramp up my flirtatious courage.

All rewarding for me.

And one of the real benefits of having this forum to express myself on is that I can share what goes on in my mind, for better or worse. It helps me keep in touch with some of my own fantasies, think through some twisted ideas and plot out my scheme for global domination one stocking leg at a time ... hence your weekly treat of Thigh High Thursday.

Andee     xoxo

What's So Unusual About Stockings

For some guys, today is a pretty special day - it's National Stockings Day in England, a day sponsored by Charnos Hosiery designed to raise awareness and money for breast cancer awareness. For anyone who is interested in following my own antics for the day, catch up with me on Twitter. I have a few really sexy stockings pics that will be posted throughout the day to help make it a bit more interesting for you.

Of course, the idea of me wearing stockings also fits into today's blog theme - something that popped up a while back in my Formspring questions.

What is the most unusual sexual experience you’ve ever had?

Are stockings really that unusual? Probably not for a lot of people; and really not so much for me when we just consider wearing them for something like my website or to make a video for you. But for me to push the limits of my comfort zone and introduce them as part of my work-related wardrobe ... that was exceptionally unusual (and sexual) for me.

If you remember back to what I wrote at the time, I think it really still sums up my thoughts:

One morning, I woke up before my husband, walked into the bathroom and proceeded to get ready for my day at work. Like I often do, I had set out my outfit for the day, so that I wouldn't need to disturb him while he slept. I found a little note from him stuck inside the dress I was planning to wear, along with the stockings and garterbelt. The whole thing was worth it the moment my husband walked into the kitchen to say goodbye to me before I left for the day.

I know my husband loves me, and we have an awful lot of fun together both in and out of the bedroom, but there is nothing that can mask true lustful surprise on a man's face. It's a look that goes right to my heart and knees ... and ego. After over 20 years of being together, there aren't many times left when I can see that sincere expression of delighted shock and desire. It was like watching a kid at Christmas.

Later in the day, when I revealed my fashion leap to my Office Guy the first time, his reaction was equally incredible. To stand just a few feet away from him and do the seductive hiking up of my hem, to see his eyes light up and just stare in amazement was an amazing turn-on for me. Then to allow him to touch and fondle ... still a prominent masturbation memory.

Of course, almost all of what opened the door on this was one of the other most unusual sexual experiences in my life: having an adult website ...

This is something that I would have never anticipated ever indulging in, but has certain been a big motivator and enabler in my sexual adventure. It has given me the confidence and fueled my desire to explore and push the limits.

I can't say that something like that would be for everyone - and, honestly, I'm thankful it's not.

Other things that come to mind, but may be best saved for a future blog, would include:

• Going to the swingers clubs ... that is way outside my comfort zone ...
• Finally finding the courage to turn my bi-curious status to bisexual ...
• My afternoon rendezvous with my Office Guy ... that is just something that I don't do, so for me that is beyond the limits.

 Having wrapped my brain around all of this though, the reality is I like the unusual side of life. It's what makes everything so interesting ... especially the sex!

Andee     xoxo