December 17, 2012

Masturbation | What Women Don't Get

I don’t think I’ve ever shied away from admitting that one of my favourite sexual pastimes is masturbation. For me, playing with myself is a brilliant stress reliever and a great way to revisit a fantasy within my imagination at the same time.

A while back, I got into a discussion with a male friend about the difference in how masturbation is perceived by men and women, and what those might be. He was wondering if there is anything women still don't get about masturbation. I assured him that I got masturbation quite effectively – and in fact planned to enjoy it later that evening – if I wasn't able to organize something a little more substantial. I always love those moments when you see the expression on their face as what I had just said sinks in and the mental image takes over.

Joking aside, what he was really wondering was if there was anything women don’t quite understand about male masturbation ...

I think many women in heterosexual relationships struggle with the notion that their partner will dabble in some self love believing the man no longer has any desire for intimacy. They experience a sense of rejection; fearing the concept of not being sexually appealing enough for their husbands, and struggle with the self-doubt that so many women have ... especially as they age and don't feel as attractive as they once were. But masturbation isn't about replacement – it's more about opportunity. It's only an issue when it reaches that stage.

At the same time, I know many women in heterosexual relationships who are perfectly content to let their partner dabble in self love. These are the women who view sex as a chore – usually the same women who I hear about from my sexually frustrated male friends.

I do believe there are women who are left feeling somewhat short-changed by the idea that their partner would opt for some masturbation versus sex. It comes down to context, when you think about it.

On a personal level, I don't get why men won't invite their partners to share in the moment; be an observer. I love to watch my husband pleasure himself. It's a highly erotic experience to witness.
But, it is a two-sided argument – as many women find sexual relief through a little manual manipulation and battery-operated banging. If they didn't, the sex toy industry would be almost non-existent. And there are men who feel that they have been replaced by some dildo modeled after the rather large member of a porn star; or they feel inadequate for the same reasons.

Which is something women don't get when it comes to men understanding why we masturbate.
Andee     xoxo

1 comment:

H said...

I love mutual masturbation, the picture associated with this post is hot.... that should be you and me :)