July 23, 2012

What Still Makes Me Blush?

I’d like to say that I started out with good intentions to make this a Formspring Friday kind of deal, but instead I chose to go with a question I had been asked that appealed more to the Fantasy Friday side of me. That said, I don’t think you’ll be disappointed that I made you wait until Monday for a good blog update about masturbation!

This one made me think for a while – mostly because in my ongoing sexual adventure, I have become very sex-positive and more aware of some of my own kinks. I definitely know that I have grown, matured so to speak, and gained a whole new outlook on who I am and what I want from my life both personally and sexually.

What is the one thing you have done sexually that still makes you blush when you think about it?

There are a lot of things that turn me on like crazy when I think back on them; from all the new experiences at the beginning of this, through to events like this past weekend when hubby and I went out on a hot date and did some naughty things. But there is one event that still makes me blush whenever I think back on it:

The first time I masturbated to orgasm in front of other people – who were in the room, not on webcam, or anything like that.

To me, as much as I love masturbating, it still is something that I consider to be a very personal and intimate act; even more so than having sex while another couple is in the room. The idea of the webcam shows still maintains a level of anonymity. It’s just another person watching me, but not really knowing who I really am – knowing the real person behind “Andee.” But to complete the act while others are right there, watching me bring myself to that point of no return; that is kinky.

The time that comes to mind is from when my husband and I were newly experimenting with the idea of soft swapping. We had become good friends with this couple, and over a few weeks and get-togethers, eventually made our way into the bedroom for some fun and games. And despite what all those steamy porn movies would like to have you believe otherwise, sex when there are more than two people involved doesn’t always reach a crescendo at the same time …

As all these wonderful new moments transpired among the four of us, things had reached a point where the wife of the other couple made her way back to giving her husband a blowjob. As I lay there watching, I started to touch myself – almost subconsciously – because it was the first time I had witnessed someone do that in person. It was an incredible turn on. As she got more into what she was doing, I got more and more into what I was doing.

In no time, I had completely lost myself in my own sensations, put my head back, closed my eyes and continued to masturbate. It never occurred to me that what I was doing was turning them on to the point where he came in her mouth, and then together watched as I played furiously with myself. It didn’t seem that it went on for all that long, but when I finally came down after what must have been my third orgasm in the evening, I looked over to see three smiling faces.

Later on my husband expressed how surprised he was over how much I had gotten into playing with myself, and he and the other couple loved watching me bring myself to orgasm.

To this day, thinking back on that still makes me blush. I guess partly because I have not been able to repeat the act, but also because of just how intimate something like that can be and sharing it was a huge leap for me.
Andee     xoxo

1 comment:

Jack and Jill said...

Awesome post. Seriously awesome. It made me consider what our own answers would be. And it took some thinking. Jill was inclined to go with the time she did the very same thing. Which we both find odd, as it wasn't anything she feels any embarrassment over, or is in any way ashamed of having done. Hell, we are natural exhibitionists. On the one hand, the couple that watched are people with whom we have interacted with socially for years and with whom we have deep mutual respect. They requested a show, and they got one. On the other hand, it hasn't come up in conversation since, and we almost wonder if THEY feel ashamed or embarrassed about it.

We admire your boldness not only at sharing this act with another couple, but also with sharing the story with all of us.