Sex | My First Time Between Her Legs

This week sure took its time coming to an end. I guess because it is our holiday weekend up here for Canada Day that made it seem to be even longer. Regardless, I just have today to put in and then off for three glorious days!

As I was trying to think about what naughtiness I could get up to this weekend, I figured a good place to start would be going back to something I haven’t done in quite some time. I have let some of my Formspring questions go by the wayside, and so today I am picking one of the more explicit ones to get your Friday really steamed up.

“What was it like for you when you first went down on another woman?”

Oh, wow … how can I put that experience in words? Other than “Oh, wow!”

I’ll be honest, I was feeling a huge mix of excitement, fear, horniness … and if I’m not mistaken, a healthy dose of alcohol-induced bravery.

The one thing that remains in my mind today is how much I enjoyed how she tasted. I think that tends to be people’s biggest initial fear when doing something orally sexual for the first time. And it’s hard to explain why I had that notion, as by the time the opportunity presented itself, I was very sexually experienced.

The erotic nature of the moment was also heightened by the fact that both our husbands were watching.

After a healthy amount of foreplay between all of us, and her having already gotten a very good taste of me, it was my turn to finally answer some of the curiosities I had in my mind. I followed the same kind of idea that my own partners have done in that same position, slowly working my way down her body until I was directly between her spread thighs. I gently touched her with my fingers at first, getting my first very close look at her pussy.

I teased her for just a minute with my fingers before edging in close enough to touch her with my tongue. I ran the tip along both side of her moist cunt before setting in on her swollen clit. It didn’t take long for my fear of the unknown to disappear and my curiosities to be confirmed – I loved every second of it.

The more I worked her over with her mouth, the more she moaned these sexy little moans, then grabbed at my head. All of a sudden I totally got why my husband loved it when I reacted in the same fashion.

By the end of the whole experience, I was dripping from burying my tongue deep into her. And in my own mind, I knew this was something I would remember fondly – and seek to repeat many times over.

Andee     xoxo

Sex | Is There Anything That Scares Me

You reach a certain point in life where there are not many things that will truly scare the crap out of you. Sure, we can point to the fastest, loopiest roller coaster at the amusement park and say “that scares the crap out of me,” but what about those experiences that don’t involve strapping yourself into something perched ever-so-precariously on a set of rails?

When I first set out to actually arrange my rendezvous with my Office Guy, I said “How many things are left in life that truly scares you?” It wasn’t about thrill rides, but rather thrill-seeking.

My sexual adventure has been building, evolving and taking left turns for almost a decade now. And in that time I have had the opportunity to change my bi-curiosity into recognizing my bisexuality. I have dipped my toes into “the lifestyle” and recognize there are still a lot of things I would like to continue to explore in that regard. And, as you have all read about over the past couple months, I explored an even bigger fantasy, turning it into a reality – and anxiously await the opportunity for a repeat.

I’m not sure where this thought came out though – maybe in one of the many conversations I have had with friends about the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy – but, “is there anything that still scares you in a sexual way?”

Yes, absolutely … but not in a Fifty Shades kind of way; but sort of, at the same time.

As I have explored more and more about what turns me on, and what are some of my own sexual kinks, likes and dislikes, there isn’t much left that I would like to try. There is an awful lot, as I mentioned, that I would like to try again, mind you. Overall, I’ve had an assortment of sexual acts performed on me, with me, for me, had a variety of things inserted here, there and damn-you-better-use-extra-lube-if-you’re-going-there, and ultimately discovered what gets me off.

I’m not scared by experimenting sexually. I might get butterflies and have a healthy combination of excitement and nerves, but overall I think I have done most of what can be done without involving pain and humiliation.

To a certain degree, what scares me the most about sex is discovering something that I can’t always have. For example: I have a huge desire to participate in a full-out MFM threesome. I can’t tell you how much of my sexual fantasy revolves around this idea – to the point where it occupies the top three spots on my sexual bucket list, just to be sure. My husband and I have dabbled around the opportunity to the point where it is kind of that “next step.” But what I am afraid of is that like a lot of fantasies, the reality of the moment could go one of two ways: either it fails to live up to the billing, or I love it so much that it becomes an obsession.

Right now, the object of my non-marital desire is mired in his own marital complications. And I’m not a woman who is going to seek out a third for my fantasy just to check it off the list. I want someone who I am  attracted to.

So, while my husband and I mutually enjoy this part of the adventure as things unfold, we have to recognize that the other person involved is doing so in a much more secretive and complicated fashion. And I’m afraid that I might just enjoy it a bit too much, and then watch it get even more complicated as time passes.

Another thought to add to the mix, there is part of me that is still scared by the idea of finding myself in a sexual situation where I have no control. Again, even in those brief and somewhat vanilla BDSM situations I have found myself, there has always been an element of security, knowing I could say “stop” in the event that I wasn’t enjoying it. I’m not sure what kind of situation I would ever find myself in without that being a reasonable understanding, but losing control is something that does scare me.

Andee     xoxo

TMI Tuesday | Sexy In Summertime

Well, doesn't this week's TMI Tuesday entry make me feel a little smug! The folks that bring us the insightful themes each week picked the questions I sent in recently; and now I'm anxious to see what everyone else has to offer up on these summertime TMI subjects:

And I also want to add, great job guys - not only did you pick my questions, but you even kept the unique Canadian spelling. I'm flattered you decided to keep the "u" in this week's TMI.

1. Summer is a time to escape, kick back and chill. What is your favourite way to relax when the warm weather hits?

Without question, one of my favourite things to do is hit the beach and kick back with a hot book in my sexiest bikini. Add a few ice-cold vodka coolers to the mix and we're all set!

One of the biggest delights for me when I spend some time on the beach is being able to watch all the other people there. I'm a huge social voyeur, so it's very entertaining to see how we interact with each other, from the young posers to the been-together-forever lovers, from the sun-worshippers to the slather-me-in-zinc shade seekers.

2. Have you ever been to a drive-in movie theatre? My first date was to a drive-in movie, what is your best memory of these classic outdoor theatres?

As much as I would love to thrill and excite you with all the explicit details of my first date to the drive-in, it was actually a very polite and well-behaved experience. Even though we sat in the back seat together and made out like teenagers (well, I actually was one), he was the perfect gentleman. I figured after that night, he must have really liked me - given how patient he was and well-mannered despite his obvious state of arousal. Fortunately for both of us, all the hot stuff came on our second date!

But the experience started what has become a very passionate love affair with my soul mate.

3. Have you ever had a summer fling? How did it develop and why did it end?

Not really. As I have been with the same man since I was 16, life hasn't really allowed me to enjoy that summer fling. In the beginning of our relationship, I wondered if it was going to be one of those summer flings, given the vast difference in our ages. Maybe it has been, just a summer fling that has lasted 22 years this July 13.

4. Board shorts and bikinis leave something to the imagination, but have you ever tried a nude beach?

No, not yet. I would love to try it just once to experience the sensation of going nude among a crowd. There is a legal clothing-optional beach not far from where I live, but the issue is that the beach has become a hot-spot for the gay/lesbian/transsexual community ... and unfortunately has gained a reputation for being just a bit beyond socially-acceptable behaviour. While I am very sex-positive, I don't think that I want to expose myself to a very "out and proud and proving it" atmosphere.

Maybe this is one of those moments I'll save for when my hubby and I take off for a romantic/sexual adventure experience in the Caribbean.

5. What are your thoughts on the Speedo and the Wicked Weasel?

I would like to say both are very sexy, almost-there, beachwear choices...BUT...have you ever noticed that the people who do choose to go to that level of bravery are the ones that should show a little cowardice? Around here the Speedo is usually the attire of European men over the age of 60. Of course, that is very judgmental of me but I think you will agree that anyone with 0% body-fat and the ever elusive 8-pack abdomen only slip on the tiny stuff for the physique competition pose-downs.

Now, having said that, I find a guy in a stylish swimsuit - and age-appropriate - to be incredibly sexy. I like a little left to my imagination.

Oh, and I live in Ontario where it is legal for women to go topless - but once again, very few people under the age of 60 choose to exercise that right. Well ... them, a few drunken coeds at a Motley Crue concert and some tattooed biker chicks at Port Dover's annual Friday the 13th motorcycle rally.

6. The warm weather is a great opportunity to “get busy” outdoors? Have you ever? Tell us about it.

Having sex outside is one of my personal kinks that I would love to roll out an awful lot more. I love the freedom and heightened sense of excitement that comes with doing it in the great outdoors.

While there are a few memorable occasions for me, definitely the most memorable occurred when my family and I went camping to one of Canada's most famous national parks - Algonquin. After we had arrived at our campsite, and set some of our things up, my husband began to make a few amorous suggestions about slipping into the dining shelter for a little vacation celebration. As the kids were out and about doing their own thing, I agreed to a steamy quickie by the Coleman.

Nothing outrageous about sharing some spontaneous intimacy with the canvas flaps down - until about 20 minutes later when our neighbour's campsite was invaded by a 450lb Canadian black bear. As you can see, Yogi made quick work of the nylon tent in his bid to locate the stored food the idiot had left stored inside. To this day I can't help but giggle about the jokes over the bear-skin run coming to life in the middle of me getting it doggy-style.

7. Sunrise or sunset? Which is your summer favourite?

I'm a sucker for a romantic sunset over the water ... and other than having to get up for work, I'm not really much of a morning person. Plus, after you have found your way to that secluded spot on the beach to enjoy the sunset, all the night moves can begin.

8. What is the one summer delight that really quenches your thirst? How about your lust?

Hmm ... I would have to say that my most favourite thirst-quencher right now is Woody's Pink Grapefruit vodka coolers.

As for my lust, I'm not sure that I want it to be quenched. I think I would rather have it raging and prominent. But, realistically, what really fuels that fire is the arrival of the warm weather means we get to strip down and shed some of the layers we have worn for the past few months. Then, with this opportunity for more exposed flesh comes the sexy sensation of having someone touch me, fondle me ... kiss me.

Summer is the perfect season for teasing, taunting, fondling ... easy-access handjobs and let-me-lick-you-like-an-ice-cream-cone oral sex.

Ultimately, summer is ideal for heating up all the sexual activity. Somehow getting sweaty seems much more rewarding at this time of year; as we get to ditch the blankets, shed the flannel pajamas and it doesn't get dark at 4:30.

Bonus: Summer is the time to participate in outdoor activities. Where would you most like to have sex:

– on the beach?

– at a picnic?

– camping?

How about "yes" to all three?

I think sex on the beach - if planned extremely carefully - would be highly erotic. That said, from what I have heard from members of the sandbar club, it can also be extremely uncomfortable if you get even a single grain in the wrong spot at the wrong moment.

A picnic, in my mind, would have to be one of those "slip away from the party for a private celebration" moments ... and maybe bringing the strawberries and whipped creme along with us.

Camping - something I have done pretty much every time we pitch the tent. See #6 for why I would like a different species of audience next time.

Andee     xoxo

Relationships | Giving In Just Because ...

This past weekend, I spent some time away with my family doing some of the Mom things that being a Mom brings. Of course, it was also the time to connect with some people that we socialize with on a different level – and enjoy different conversations ripe with smirks and knowing looks between my husband and I when other people say things that make us think “if they only knew.”

Our favourite was when one of the other Moms was talking about this couple they knew and how this couple had attended a “swingers club” in our particular city. Naturally, my husband enjoyed that … “In our town? Really? How kinky…”

Uh huh … just bite your tongue honey. And then get the names.

I often wonder if when they are talking about things like that, if they are throwing the idea out there and waiting to see who appears shocked and who appears intrigued. And then I also listen intently to try to determine who much information they actually know about what swingers clubs are really like. Most people have a very naïve understanding of them; believing that they are true Sodom and Gomorrahs – with a wall to wall orgy taking place.

If that was the case, I know we would be there every damn weekend! And, it’s not like I can ever really correct them and explain that clubs just aren’t allowed to be these wild, sexual parties and maintain their liquor licence in Ontario … and that most people don’t play that way either.

In the end, it didn’t really matter other than for amusement, because they weren’t really our type anyway.

One of the other topics that came up – as we were all sitting in the hotel hallway enjoying a few/several adult drinks as our kids slept in the rooms – was about moments when you are just not in the mood: such as trying to get busy in the hotel room while away for these kind of weekends. Kind of an odd polar opposite to the more intriguing conversation about swingers clubs, but nonetheless, always amusing to hear other women complain about having to “give it up just because we’re away for the weekend.”

And from that spun the broader conversation of being accommodating and having sex when you don't really want to … definitely not a fit with the swinging conversation that started this whole debate!

Personally, in a healthy relationship compromise isn’t just about who vacuums and who feeds the cats. It involves an awful lot of give and take on many levels; from family vacations, career aspirations and, every now and then, sex. You have to expect that when you share your life and space with someone, both of you are not going to always be on the same sexual clock.

While I can’t provide an exact moment of when I gave in for sex just for the sake of having him leave me alone, I am sure there have been times when my libido wasn’t exactly peeking. That is a natural thing, though. As much as I enjoy – and invite you all in to read, see and learn – my sex life, it’s not a constant state of mind. Like everyone else, I get bogged down with work, family life, social demands and things in general. All of which occasionally conspire to cool it down in the bedroom.

But, I know I’m not someone who complains about being the object of his desire – and maybe that is more from where the complaints were coming from in this conversation; that the sex was selfish and one-sided. If that’s the case, then there is something much deeper at the root of your sexual problems as a couple.

As for me this weekend, I just told my husband to be quiet and then bit my lip through most of it. But since I was the one who stuck my hand into his pajamas, I can’t say I wasn’t really looking to give it up just because he wanted it … and I can tell he wasn’t complaining either.

Andee     xoxo

TMI Tuesday | You Say It's Your Birthday

I had way better plans for today, but my friggin' Internet is down at home - and I find myself trying to do all this secretly from the confines of work. I feel so ... naughty.

Anyway, it is another TMI Tuesday for you to enjoy and I hope you find it insightful and worth a small distraction today!

What sign are you?
I am a Taurus, the bull. Despite popular belief, we are not stubborn.

No, we’re not.

Do you believe in horoscopes?
I think I am one of those people who would love to believe they come true, but in all honesty, I tend to see that more when the horoscope suggests something is amiss as opposed to something good is coming my way.

When is your birthday?
May 6

What’s the worst birthday gift a partner has given you?
Oh, tough question … hmm … very hard to come up with something from my current partner, because he usually spoils the hell out of me. I can tell you the one he likes to bring up every now and then. Back when I was a teenager, for one of my birthdays, my brother gave me a pack of Doritos. Nothing says sibling love like cheesy paste on your fingertips!

Are you organized when it comes to other people’s birthdays?
I’m not the birthday party queen, but I certainly keep tabs on when birthdays are coming up – and when the occasion calls for it, organizing a smash-up success of a celebration.

If you could be one age again, what would it be? Why?
I don’t think I could say there is one specific age that I would like to be without a bunch of conditions attached. For example, I would love to have the body I had when I was 18, but only with the knowledge and sexual experience that I have today. I look back at photos from when I was that age and think “Damn, I should have been doing my website then, not now!” But, like so many things in life, with age comes experience and I don’t think I would be willing to surrender what I have learned along the way.

There are other times when I think back – usually when dealing with my own kids’ ridiculous expectations – and wonder what it would be like to enjoy a life free of most obligations and responsibility. You know, wouldn’t it be great to be 12 again and have the biggest decision of the day be whether or not to ride my bicycle that day, or play in the woods at the back of our property. It would be marvelous to let go of the financial fears and burdens of adulthood just for a while.

What would be your ideal birthday treat?
Well, you know I gotta put something steamy and really sexual in here; all the other questions were relatively tame compared to other TMI Tuesday updates.

Let’s see…

It’s not that hard to figure out. I would love to celebrate my birthday as the centre of attention in a very steamy, sexy, dirty, naughty, orgasmic threesome. It’s something I have mentioned a few times to the person usually looking after arranging my birthday celebrations, but to be fair, there is an awful lot of reality behind why this has not yet happened.

BONUS: Tell us your best birthday memory.
Hmm … like I said, I get pretty spoiled for my birthdays by my husband. Right now what sticks out in my mind is the very last one we celebrated. He planned the day so I had to literally start from scratch through to when I got home for my birthday ….

We left in the early afternoon; at which point he took me shopping with some very clear instructions that he had written into a little board game idea. I had to go and buy new underwear, then a new dress and shoes to go. From there, as we left the mall, I had to actually get into these new things in the car – which was a lot of fun. We went to a very romantic restaurant overlooking the lake; and then made our way to the casino. Now, a lot of people may think “really?” But he had planned the whole night to help me create a list of truths, dares, risks and fantasies – kind of like a bucket list. The theme was “taking a gamble” and since I had never been to the casino (outside of a brief experience in Vegas), it was allowing me to experience another “first” in my life.

Another memory was when I turned 30 my husband had planned something similar, in which I had to follow a little Survivor-style scavenger hunt game he designed – once again including shopping for new underwear and clothes for a night out. At dinner time, he had arranged for a whole bunch of my girlfriends and I to attend a dinner theatre show, and then he took all of us out to a dance club that night, playing designated-driver to a bunch of drunken women.

BONUS BONUS: May we see you in your birthday suit?
Why not, thousands of others have …

And you can see all kinds of uncensored versions of me in my birthday suit on my website.

Andee     xoxo

Random Thoughts On A Saturday Morning

I woke up early this morning; a little bit horny and an awful lot frustrated. I think my mind and body is pretty much programmed to wake up at the same time every day now - despite the fact that it's my friggin' day off!

Since I'm not really one to spend the quiet time surfing porn while everyone else sleeps, I thought I would at least try to get something written for you. This past week and a bit has been incredibly crazy between work and home that I barely had time to think.

So, with me being just a little horny and waiting for a better time today to take care of all that, I thought I would go back through a couple of the questions I have been sent, asked, read, etc. to make up for being a little absent this week.

What’s the most unusual item you have used during sex that really turned you on and rocked your world?
I had to really think about this one ... and necessarily to narrow it down! It's not like I have experimented with a huge collection of unusual objects in my life. I was turned on to sex toys shortly after I turned 18, and from there everything was pretty standard in terms of vibrating penis-shaped objects.

But the one thing that stands out as one of the most memorable items was the one that led to me getting my first sex toy. At the time, I was not yet married, but dating the man who would become my husband. We were about 18 months into our relationship when I went to spend the weekend with him at his apartment. He had recently moved away for work, so we were trying to make the long distance thing work. This also meant that most weekends were spent fucking like rabbits because we were so horny from being apart.

On this particular night, I had worn a cute little dress - because if there is one thing about my husband, he love me in a dress. He had bought some wine and prepared a nice meal for us; a very romantic gesture. After dinner, we put in a movie and sat on the couch and finished off the wine, made out and generally just got ourselves worked up into a sexual lather.

I had in mind that I really wanted to leave him with something naughty to think about for the following week when we were apart, so after he had performed oral sex on me I stopped him just before he was going to slip his erect cock into me. I took the empty wine bottle and began to run the open neck along my pussy lips. There was just a dribble left in the bottle, so I tipped it up and let the last taste drip onto me. I asked him to see how that tasted, and he went back to licking me for all he was worth. Then, when he came up for air, I held the bottle against me and began to slide it in.

I proceeded to fuck myself with the empty bottle for a few minutes, then let him lick me once again before he got his chance to slide his erection into my now very wet, very ready pussy.

Afterwards, when we were both completely spent, he told me how much of a huge turn-on it was for him to watch me do that. The next weekend when I came to visit, he told me he could not stop thinking about that night and presented me with a little gift - my first vibrator.

Ever since that time, toys - and the occasional wine bottle - have been a regular part of my sex life.

Have you ever done the "Walk of Shame?"

Not in the same sense as the question implies. I have never had a one-night stand, and the vast majority of my sexual experiences relate to the man I am now with.

That said, even with being married, there are a few occasions that I can recall where I have woken up - now sober - and thought "Holy shit, did I really do what I did last night?" Some of those are confessional things I might have admitted to in a sexual-charged, alcohol-induced wildness ... and others have been sexual experiences that didn't turn out exactly like the fantasy I had in my head, such as our foursome frolicking with another couple.

Not really "walk of shame" events, but definitely "did I really do that?" moments.

What is the one sentence that gives you an immediate ego boost?

This is a bit of a tough one. You get a very ... hmm ... twisted perspective of me on here. I write about the thoughts, ideas and desires I have in my mind; and share some of the experiences along the way. It tends to be very condensed and thought-out. I'm not a vain person in real life, I don't share a lot of information about me in person, and I'm generally shy and reserved until I get to know you.

Having prefaced all that, these days I have been trying very hard to ramp up my wardrobe and look a lot nicer/sexier for work. What really sets my heart fluttering and my pussy tingling is when one of the guys (that I am not married to) says:

"Wow, you look amazing."

Andee     xoxo 

It’s Not How You Hide It ...

My mind hasn’t really been focused on a lot of the fun stuff the past few days … far too much dust being shaken out of the deep, dark corners of it and I haven’t felt much inspiration to sequester myself into the corner of the couch with a cold vodka cooler and dish on interesting things like sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll.

So, while I was trying to think about what I need to be writing about this week, I happened to catch the headline for an online feature about discovering if you are just chatting or cheating. I thought mostly you would already know whether or not you are cheating, and jumped into the article with a healthy dose of sober cynicism.

As I read the piece, I delightfully found that it wasn’t just a rehash of the usual trashy women’s magazine tidbits on “signs you may be cheating.” Close, but fortunately there were a few intriguing perspectives on the psychology of what may be considered unfaithful response behavior to what you may not even see as “cheating.”

Without a doubt, all the gadgets and toys we have at our fingertips make communicating much easier – and there’s no question that for some of us, they remove the barriers of shyness and social awkwardness. Texting and email provide the opportunity to share, suggest and say things that would normally make us blush in a face-to-face moment.

But at the same time, all these things open a Pandora’s box of hidden temptation and escapism from what may seemingly feel like a “routine” relationship in our offline lives. As such, the biggest and most obvious factor is not so much about what you are doing – but how you hide it from your partner, and why you may not let them in on what is going on.

Secrecy

“Experts agree that secrecy is the number one sign that your chatting may amount to cheating. If you close computer windows when your lover walks in, delete your browsing history or erase messages and emails, you may want to consider whether or not you're being honest with your partner (and yourself) about your online relationships.

“But some degree of privacy is natural, so how do you know if your secrecy is a sign of infidelity?

“According to infidelity expert Katherine Hertlein, it's really about how your partner would react if they knew what you were up to. ‘If your private chat was revealed and your partner would feel hurt by both the content of it and the fact that you purposely concealed it, you're probably bordering on unhealthy secrecy.’

“Dr. Sheri Myers, author of Chatting or Cheating, agrees. ‘Being secretive is a sign that you're having an affair. Flirtation can be fun and it's harmless if it's out in the open. The dangerous part is when it crosses the line into secrecy. Flirtatious text messages, self-revealing chats, and intimate confessions can fuel a unique cocktail of brain chemistry that can turn a platonic friendship into an addictive, all-consuming affair of the heart.’

“If you find yourself being secretive about an online friendship, it may be time to take a step back and ask yourself what toll this friendship is taking on your primary relationship.”

Is there a clear solution to finding a balance between the excitement beyond the traditional boundaries of marriage and blowing it all up for the sake of answering the eternal “what if” question? Not really.

Where we can gain a lot of ground towards the open door is through constant communication with our partner.

I’m no expert, but a lot of this does ring true in my own life. I have a great deal of freedom to explore and flirt, however I also understand that it can be a very precarious balancing act. It can be very easy to get caught up in the excitement and forget yourself in the moment. Then, when the dust settles you begin to see that perhaps there were some things that should have been shared/discussed/thought-out. What may have been to one person an insignificant exchange of texts or emails, may be seen as something deeper by the partner left out of the moment.

Which brings us to the emotional aspect of it all …

Emotional Get-off

“Research suggests that the mere thought of receiving an email or text message can create a natural high for regular text and email users, as our dopamine levels spike. It follows that the thought of receiving a potential flirtatious message would also create an instant high and the desire to seek more gratification. Recognizing the difference between excitement for the unknown and the desire for emotional and intimate fulfillment is essential.

“’Though your sexy chats may produce a sense of relief and pleasure,’ Dr. Sheri warns that you may be idealizing your online relationship on account of chemical changes in the brain. ‘Biochemical research has shown that the effect of these love chemicals is twofold: they are released in response to your friend, and they bond you to him or her.’”

I have dabbled a great deal online – especially in the last 10 years as I began to explore more about my sexual interests and as my website grew into what it is today. Along the way I have chatted with many great guys, a few women and a few … well, let’s just call them “intriguing individuals.” Naturally, a number of those conversations and emails have been of a sexual nature and the door has always been open for my partner to ask – even participate – in them.

I admit it was fun and exciting in the beginning stages, but as we discover with certain things in life, routine can settle in and the thrill diminishes. These days my online chatting has been limited to a few very good friends – and, of course, the fun nonsense that has emerged from Twitter and my blog.

But I believe a lot of that can be carefully managed by being open with your partner – and including them in the excitement that it creates. Because it is very true, that when things get hot, heavy and sexually-charged, we all tend to become more inwardly-focused and possessive of our own satisfaction. And that can lead to the secrecy of it all, which will quickly bring about the polar opposites of emotion: hurt and betrayal.

Andee     xoxo

Sex | Reliving The Adventure

As I mentioned yesterday, I couldn't get to all the questions for TMI Tuesday due to the insanity that has been this week. One of the questions that I really wanted to think over - for obvious reasons - was the Bonus Question that had been put out there for everyone by one of my favourite reads, A Husband of Two Sexual Minds.

Is there something you would love to go back and relive in your sexual past?

This is something that my husband and I revisit often in our sex life - the time when my Office Guy joined me for a lunch-hour rendezvous. And while it isn't in the distant past, it is definitely something that fuels a lot of my horny thoughts.

The memory of it usually comes up when my husband and I are in midst of some really hot oral sex - because that is what occurred between my friend and I. We talk about how much fun it would to relive the moment, and maybe take things in a new direction the second time around. And because I know how to get into my partner's sexual kink, it can be delicious torture for him as I describe how and where I would give my Office Guy his next blow job - as I am giving one while I explain my dirty thoughts.

A big part of that fantasy borders so much on a situation that could be real, so it's not hard to take my lover's mind right to the moment. I admit, I do get a devious thrill out of knowing the kind of power it gives me in the moment, but at the same time, it's really the heart of my sexual adventure.

From there, I make him tell me what he liked the most from that afternoon back in March - in very graphic detail - before I finish him off with my mouth. I love hearing my husband share his side of that experience, from describing watching me reach my own orgasm at the tongue and fingers of my friend, to the mind-blowing sex we had after my Office Guy returned to work. It usually makes for some of the hottest oral sex we have; the combination of recent memories, the fantasy of future opportunities and the simple fact that I just love taking a guy into my mouth and bringing him to the ultimate moment of an explosive orgasm. Mmm, yummy.

Ok, time to go think this through again ...

Andee     xoxo

TMI Tuesday | The Most Times

Good morning! I have been so busy the past few days - and things do not look like they are going to let up - which really sucks for my inspiration and motivation. I just hope it's not a sign of what the summer ahead is going to bring my way.

Today I have an abbreviated TMI Tuesday. While others are going to be answering a full slate of questions, I'm just going to plug along with a few of the choices provided ... mostly because I just didn't get to sit down and mull over some really insightful and thought-provoking responses for you.

1. What sex position have you been in the most times?

Without question, the most frequent position in my sex life is heterosexual missionary with the man on top of me. I know it is kind of a vanilla idea, but it covers all of the things I want out of sex: the intimacy of intercourse, the access to some seriously heavy kissing and the chance to watch his eyes as he reaches that incredible orgasm while inside me. Beyond that, the next most frequent sex position would be me lying on my back with my vibrator in my right hand buzzing against my clit as I bring myself to orgasm in solo sex.

2. In the last week, who have you texted the most ... (no names, list the type of relationship or person)

Texted - my husband ... or maybe my sons. It would be a close call.
E-mailed - my Office Guy

3. Which sex toy have you used the most?

Definitely my Pocket Rocket ... which very disappointingly died last week. It is the one toy that is guaranteed to bring my orgasm each time; although most do. I have other great toys, most of which involve some sort of insertion ... but my tiny little buzzer has been the superstar of my toy box. Time for a new one!

Anyway ... just a brief TMI for you this week. I may add answers to the other questions posed as my day progresses and I have a chance.

Andee     xoxo

Actually, I Write A Travel Blog ...

Ever have one of those moments when the dark secrets from the back of the closet sneak out into regular conversation?

At lunch the other day with my Office Guys, I happened to let slip that I write a blog. It was a serious oops moment, as only one of them - as you know - has any clue about my naughty secret. As I heard the words leave my mouth, I was hoping that it would just slide through the conversation without anyone picking up on it.

Well ... you can imagine how that turned out.

So when one of the guys at the table asked me what kind of blogging I did, I needed to cover my tracks pretty quick ... and not choke on my yogurt at the same time.

"I write a travel blog," I replied.

In a way, it's not far from the truth. My blog has always been about my adventures and sharing with you all the crazy thoughts and occasionally wild experiences that I get to enjoy along the path of life. My travels, at least on here, just aren't about the Spring break trip to Disney or a weekend in the Poconos.

Andee     xoxo

TMI | Think Kink!

Hey there! This week's TMI Tuesday gets a little bit kinky with some intriguing questions. And while I may not be one of those women who have swung from the chandelier in a rubber cat suit, I can admit to some slightly unusual sexual experiences ... or at least I think so.

1. What’s the kinkiest thing about you, either mentally or physically?

This is one of the toughest questions of the day. I don't know if what I consider kinky about myself is something that other people would agree with. It's not like I have any particularly wild fetish, or strange needs in order to achieve sexual satisfaction. So, with that in mind, I'm going to list two of things:

1. My website. Maybe not exactly wild and crazy, but I think it is one of the kinkiest things that I do that my friends have no clue about. I think the vast majority of people I know in my real life would be exceptionally surprised that I had been doing something like that for the past 10 years. And because it's not something that I aspired too - like some of the mainstream porn actresses that seem to relish the choices they have made for their careers. Mine is still very much a secret, and will remain as such for as long as I can keep it that way.
2. The fact that I have the open door to fool around with my Office Guy - with certain conditions. I personally don't know anyone else who has the green light to fulfill her fantasies as such, just as long as any physical activity occurs under the watchful eye of my husband.

2. Do you have any fetishes? If so, what are they?

Men's hands ... it's the one thing I always notice about men. Do they have long fingers or thick fingers? And then, afterwards, I imagine what those hands might feel like doing some particularly sexual things to me.

3. Have you ever been spanked? Did you enjoy it? Tell us more…

Not since I was a little girl and I was disciplined by my parents. But somehow I don't think that is what is meant here.

I'm not adverse to being spanked in a sexual way, but it just isn't something that has made it's way into our sex life. I'm not really one who is into pain as part of my repertoire in the bedroom. I'm sure some people would argue "but it hurts so good."

4. Have you been tied up, or tied someone else up? Did you use rope or restraints?

This is probably the one area of kink that my husband and I use most often when it comes to getting kinky. Most recently he had me wear a dog collar and a leash, which added something new to the experience, not being able to move my head while he tormented the shit out of my body. Read more about my experience in yesterday's blog.

5. Would you classify yourself as more dominant, submissive, a switch or entirely vanilla?

I'm working towards not being "vanilla." It's a huge reason why this whole sexual adventure exists, and part of the reason behind my blog. The vast majority of my kink beyond traditional sex - if I even have it anymore - tends to be on the submissive side. But I struggle with the idea of surrendering control completely.

6. What’s the kinkiest thing you’ve ever done?

Oh wow, this is a hard one. Some of the things I have done may seem kinky to some, but laughingly vanilla to others.

1. Posted almost 30,000 photos and dozens of videos of myself online in the past 10 years through my website
2. Had a foursome with a couple who are friends of ours
3. Explored my bisexuality with the complete encouragement of my husband
4. Shared oral sex with my coworker in a hotel room during his lunch break while my husband watched

7. Have you been to a BDSM club? What was it like? If not, would you ever go to one?

I have not been to one, and I honestly don't know if I would. I'm a very curious person, so there is part of me that says I would like to see what it is all about. But I'm also not one to think - at this stage in my life - that I would go as a participant. I'm pretty confident in understanding the things that fuel my libido, and that of my husband. Even though we know someone who is very involved in the BDSM lifestyle - to the point of teaching workshops and writing articles on the subject - it just isn't something that holds our sexual attention as "must do" in life.

8. What’s your favourite fetish item or implement?

Probably our bondage ties and blindfold that I described in my blog yesterday. Given that we don't really have a lot of wild and crazy fetish habits, our gadgets and toys tend to be slightly mainstream.

9. Favourite kinky clothing material?

Leather ... wish I had a lot more of it.

10. Thigh boots – love ‘em or hate ‘em?

Fun, but not work-appropriate in my life. I have three pairs, only one have ever seen the light of day outside of my photo sessions. Now, only one pair of mine are truly bdsm-kinky - hot pink vinyl. The other two pairs are relatively tame - brown suede and black lace. But, if I can find a way to get myself feeling really hot, sexy and thigh-high boot worthy gorgeous, I might dust them off again for a night out.

11. If you’re kinky, who knows about it? Do you tell people or is it a closely guarded secret?

Very few people know about my sex life; never mind any kinks I may have. That said, there are a few people other than my husband who I do invite into knowing about the things I do. Some of these people, like my sister, I trust implicitly with the information...others, like my Office Guy, I include as a level of sexual torment so he knows that I'm not this sweet, little naive thing. Shock value can be entertaining.

12. What are your personal limits?

Nothing that involves pain or body fluids (see below). And a few other bizarre requests that I have received that left going "What?"

13. What’s your safeword and why did you choose that one?

Ice cream. It was something my husband and I came up with when we first started to explore the swingers lifestyle. We felt it was an appropriate metaphor for suggesting, if one party or the other was getting uncomfortable with the events, that we should cool things down. At the same time, it was not something that would come across as certainly offensive to anyone that was around us...because even if we want things to cool off, we're not in the habit of insulting anyone we are with.

14. Which fetishes do you just really not get?

Honestly? I'm not even sure where to start. After having my website for a decade now, and fielding all kinds of photo requests and role playing suggestions from guys all over the world, I'm not sure I could narrow it down to a single answer in a blog. Truly, there are some very strange and bizarre thoughts out there.

Having said, anything that I personally will not even entertain is anything with body fluids or bowel movements...and I don't mean towel sex during my period. I can understand how people can get into the roles and thrill of certain fetish elements, but I can't wrap my brain around how it can be sexy to involve urine or shit in a sexual moment. Maybe that is just the one area of my open mind that remains closed?

Bonus: Complete this sentence: To me, Fetish, Kink and BDSM means…

I still have a lot to learn about what makes some people tick.

Andee     xoxo

 

Introducing Fifty Shades Into My Adventure

Like so many other women, I read the Fifty Shades of Grey books. I wanted to know what the hubbub was all about, and my ever-thoughtful husband made sure I got the chance.

I mentioned in a previous blog about how I'm not really the one to get into the literary criticism over E.L. James trilogy, suffice to say the Fifty Shades series did enough to make me curious about a few new things about bondage, domination and submission. Of course, in her books she tries to get into the lifestyle an awful lot deeper. I'm not sure how accurate the concept is - and that's better left for those who live it to debate.

For me, reading the books made me curious about exploring a little deeper with the idea of surrendering control completely - or at least being unable to stop/direct/etc. - as certain parts of the sexual encounter develop. I have dabbled with light bondage before, but never to the degree of my most recent experience.

On Friday, I had been enjoying some mid-afternoon electronic amusement with my husband. We like to tease each other with our texting, almost using it as a little psychological foreplay to help the day pass and build some anticipation for a night without plans that involve baseball diamonds, hockey arenas, military bases or wannabe rock stars. You would be surprised just how much sexual tension you can create just with a little innuendo and suggestive typing.

With me having just finished the Fifty Shades series, my husband knew there was a new topic of sexual intrigue. So, the topic turned to the idea of being bond and teased. Naturally, I was playing back ... and getting quite turned on by the whole idea. Little did I know what I was really doing was setting the stage for my own surprising Friday night.

First came the ankle cuffs ... nothing outrageous, given that we had just bought a new pair of wrist cuffs from our newest favourite online store - Eden Fantasys. Then he showed me the newest idea he had in mind. I had let him tie me up before ... not always as spread out as I was on this night, but this was the first time that I had worn an actual dog collar and leash. Budget bondage, he explained, describing his impromptu shopping spree on his way home from work - plotting and scheming over what he was going to do to me that evening.

With me now restrained and blindfolded, my husband began his torment. He started by gently teasing me with a very soft make-up brush, tracing all around my exposed erogenous zones. The sensations of the brush against my nipples and pussy were heightened by the fact I couldn't see where he was going to touch me next.

While he was doing all this, he took my mind to a very erotic place by talking to me in hushed tones about some of my sexual fantasies that I have shared with him. What made it even more delightfully frustrating was how he got into my deepest fantasies and took me there with how he described them back to me. It's even more erotic when you are with someone who really "gets you" ... and I love how my husband gets me.

The sexual torment continued as he began to get even more focused on all the spots that feel so good. As he propped himself up by placing his hand on the mattress directly between my legs, leaving his forearm to rub directly against my wet pussy. All I could do was try to press myself as hard as I could against him.

After spending several minutes torturing me with the brush, he made his way around so that his erection was just slightly above my mouth. He knows that one of my weaknesses is watching a man stroke himself, and I could feel that he was doing that to himself. Then he was in my mouth. Then just as quickly, he was out.

It was absolute torment.

Without knowing what was coming next, I can say if it wasn't for the restraints, I would have come off the mattress! My husband has swapped the soft brush for our mini-hitachi wand ... which was now buzzing delightfully between my legs.

And then as quick as it showed up ... was not buzzing between my legs. He began to use it the same way as the soft brush, tracing my body along all my erogenous zones. I was getting so incredibly turned on, it was beginning to drive me crazy. I was almost in physical pain with the need to cum as he tormented me by taking the wand away from my clit and back to my nipples.

As he tortured me in a number of different places, he was making me tell him the naughtiest things - and agree to do the naughtiest things - until I had to beg him to take it to the next level. Finally, after the most delicious torment in a very long time, he used the vibrating wand to bring me to an explosive orgasm.

So, now, in a way, E.L. James is responsible not only for my increased curiosity in surrendering sexual control - but also for me agreeing to slip on some of those sexy stockings you guys love so much and have me wear them for another sexually tortuous day at work. There might be some very interesting aspects to this submissive thing.

Andee    xoxo

Time For Some Sexy New Shoes

Do you ever have one of those weekends where every possible event happens on the same day? It’s almost as if my life just isn’t busy enough these days … Good lord, I never thought a woman in her so-called "prime" would get so tired.

Apart from an invite to play hockey (long story), take my Little Man to an out-of-town baseball tournament (thank heaven for carpool favours) and a few others, my little appointment book is bursting at the seams.

Despite all the options, I have one major event that I will not miss – the wedding of one of my friends from work. I love weddings, and especially the opportunity to get all dressed up. Most of my life is spent in work clothes, or slothing around the house in something comfy. I know that comes as quite a shocker – given all the naughty lingerie you see me wearing on my website. So when I get the chance to dress up (quite a bit more now for work or to party), I like to go all out. But I think you have also managed to see that side of me too!

There's going to be some serious "glam" at this wedding, and I'll have no worries about really putting it on for a change. Plus this weekend is also supposed to bring some nice weather, which means I am going for the sexy new LBD and stiletto heels look. Heck, I might even paint my nails!

Wearing sexy shoes remains one of life’s big challenges for me. Because I work in an environment that has some strict rules about footwear, finding heels that comply is difficult … not to mention finding heels I can stand to wear for a full day of marathonesque running. It’s a bigger challenge for my husband for his fashion sense. He openly admits to be a shoe-slut, and quietly endures my more sensible Monday-Friday choices.

This time around though, I found a great pair of heels to go with my new dress. So in honour of a sexy stiletto Saturday, I found this little bit on the Internet about why high heels are the sexiest shoes:

The stuff you strut is more sensual when you're up on your toes, says Do Gentlemen Really Prefer Blondes author Jena Pincott: "Heels force your pelvis to tilt so that both your rear end and chest stick out." One study showed that leg lengths 5 per cent longer than average are the most attractive, so for most women, a 1.5- to 3-inch heel would create the ideal leg length.

"This attraction might be evolutionary, because long legs are associated with better long-term health, which would appeal to a mate. Plus, much like a peacock flaunts his feathers, which are really quite heavy and a nuisance, a woman teetering in heels can show off her fitness and coordination."

If I had to pick one body part that I could say I was confident over, it would be my legs (not trying to be vain here guys, just sharing what some of you seem to suggest to me ...). I think if I was able to be more stylish on an everyday basis, maybe I'd play it up a bit more and show them off. You know, draw the attention down and away from other bits I'm not so OK with right now.

But a sexy set of stilettos also means a little prep work.

When Marilyn Monroe had her stilettos made uneven heights to accentuate her hip-wiggle, she understood the power of high heels. Ridiculous, to be sure, but her point might have been this: If you're going to wear heels, wear them well.

1. Posture is critical. Keep your spine upright and slightly arched, and shoulders back to avoid hunching over.
2. Start with one foot coming out at a slight outward angle, striking with the heel first. As you walk, continue the heel-toe step.
3. Minding your posture – imagine there's a string in your head, pulling you up – use your arms and hips to change the centre of rotation in your body. As your hips rotate one way, your shoulders should angle slightly the other way for balance.
4. Shorten your stride. It's easy to spot someone unaccustomed to heels by her klumping, bouncing footfall and hunched back.
5. Loosen up. It's all in the hips. If they're too stiff, your gait will be off and you'll end up off-balance.
6. Start with shorter heels and wear them around the house, especially if they're new. Walking over a variety of surfaces like carpet and tile will help too.
7. Carry bandages in your purse at all times.

Anyway ... done properly, that power of the high heel will translate into wobbly knees later on – and that has nothing to do with the actual heel!

So, time to trade in the sensible sneakers for a little glam ... I can't wait!

Andee     xoxo