June 5, 2012

TMI | Think Kink!

Hey there! This week's TMI Tuesday gets a little bit kinky with some intriguing questions. And while I may not be one of those women who have swung from the chandelier in a rubber cat suit, I can admit to some slightly unusual sexual experiences ... or at least I think so.

1. What’s the kinkiest thing about you, either mentally or physically?
This is one of the toughest questions of the day. I don't know if what I consider kinky about myself is something that other people would agree with. It's not like I have any particularly wild fetish, or strange needs in order to achieve sexual satisfaction. So, with that in mind, I'm going to list two of things:
  1. My website. Maybe not exactly wild and crazy, but I think it is one of the kinkiest things that I do that my friends have no clue about. I think the vast majority of people I know in my real life would be exceptionally surprised that I had been doing something like that for the past 10 years. And because it's not something that I aspired too - like some of the mainstream porn actresses that seem to relish the choices they have made for their careers. Mine is still very much a secret, and will remain as such for as long as I can keep it that way.
  2. The fact that I have the open door to fool around with my Office Guy - with certain conditions. I personally don't know anyone else who has the green light to fulfill her fantasies as such, just as long as any physical activity occurs under the watchful eye of my husband.
2. Do you have any fetishes? If so, what are they?
Men's hands ... it's the one thing I always notice about men. Do they have long fingers or thick fingers? And then, afterwards, I imagine what those hands might feel like doing some particularly sexual things to me.

3. Have you ever been spanked? Did you enjoy it? Tell us more…
Not since I was a little girl and I was disciplined by my parents. But somehow I don't think that is what is meant here.

I'm not adverse to being spanked in a sexual way, but it just isn't something that has made it's way into our sex life. I'm not really one who is into pain as part of my repertoire in the bedroom. I'm sure some people would argue "but it hurts so good."

4. Have you been tied up, or tied someone else up? Did you use rope or restraints?
This is probably the one area of kink that my husband and I use most often when it comes to getting kinky. Most recently he had me wear a dog collar and a leash, which added something new to the experience, not being able to move my head while he tormented the shit out of my body. Read more about my experience in yesterday's blog.

5. Would you classify yourself as more dominant, submissive, a switch or entirely vanilla?
I'm working towards not being "vanilla." It's a huge reason why this whole sexual adventure exists, and part of the reason behind my blog. The vast majority of my kink beyond traditional sex - if I even have it anymore - tends to be on the submissive side. But I struggle with the idea of surrendering control completely.

6. What’s the kinkiest thing you’ve ever done?
Oh wow, this is a hard one. Some of the things I have done may seem kinky to some, but laughingly vanilla to others.
  1. Posted almost 30,000 photos and dozens of videos of myself online in the past 10 years through my website
  2. Had a foursome with a couple who are friends of ours
  3. Explored my bisexuality with the complete encouragement of my husband
  4. Shared oral sex with my coworker in a hotel room during his lunch break while my husband watched
7. Have you been to a BDSM club? What was it like? If not, would you ever go to one?
I have not been to one, and I honestly don't know if I would. I'm a very curious person, so there is part of me that says I would like to see what it is all about. But I'm also not one to think - at this stage in my life - that I would go as a participant. I'm pretty confident in understanding the things that fuel my libido, and that of my husband. Even though we know someone who is very involved in the BDSM lifestyle - to the point of teaching workshops and writing articles on the subject - it just isn't something that holds our sexual attention as "must do" in life.

8. What’s your favourite fetish item or implement?
Probably our bondage ties and blindfold that I described in my blog yesterday. Given that we don't really have a lot of wild and crazy fetish habits, our gadgets and toys tend to be slightly mainstream.

9. Favourite kinky clothing material?
Leather ... wish I had a lot more of it.

10. Thigh boots – love ‘em or hate ‘em?
Fun, but not work-appropriate in my life. I have three pairs, only one have ever seen the light of day outside of my photo sessions. Now, only one pair of mine are truly bdsm-kinky - hot pink vinyl. The other two pairs are relatively tame - brown suede and black lace. But, if I can find a way to get myself feeling really hot, sexy and thigh-high boot worthy gorgeous, I might dust them off again for a night out.

11. If you’re kinky, who knows about it? Do you tell people or is it a closely guarded secret?
Very few people know about my sex life; never mind any kinks I may have. That said, there are a few people other than my husband who I do invite into knowing about the things I do. Some of these people, like my sister, I trust implicitly with the information...others, like my Office Guy, I include as a level of sexual torment so he knows that I'm not this sweet, little naive thing. Shock value can be entertaining.

12. What are your personal limits?
Nothing that involves pain or body fluids (see below). And a few other bizarre requests that I have received that left going "What?"

13. What’s your safeword and why did you choose that one?
Ice cream. It was something my husband and I came up with when we first started to explore the swingers lifestyle. We felt it was an appropriate metaphor for suggesting, if one party or the other was getting uncomfortable with the events, that we should cool things down. At the same time, it was not something that would come across as certainly offensive to anyone that was around us...because even if we want things to cool off, we're not in the habit of insulting anyone we are with.

14. Which fetishes do you just really not get?
Honestly? I'm not even sure where to start. After having my website for a decade now, and fielding all kinds of photo requests and role playing suggestions from guys all over the world, I'm not sure I could narrow it down to a single answer in a blog. Truly, there are some very strange and bizarre thoughts out there.

Having said, anything that I personally will not even entertain is anything with body fluids or bowel movements...and I don't mean towel sex during my period. I can understand how people can get into the roles and thrill of certain fetish elements, but I can't wrap my brain around how it can be sexy to involve urine or shit in a sexual moment. Maybe that is just the one area of my open mind that remains closed?

Bonus: Complete this sentence: To me, Fetish, Kink and BDSM means…
I still have a lot to learn about what makes some people tick.
Andee     xoxo


Jack and Jill said...

Your website may not be "wild and crazy", but we feel the same way about our blog. We imagine that most of the people who know us personally would be very shocked by it.

I (Jack) also went with the "childhood spanking" answer for #3. I'm such a smart ass. Like you, we aren't into pain. We might engage in the occasional spanking (i.e. me spanking Jill) but it's usually while actively having intercourse, and not its own thing.

We attended a BDSM club last year. Technically speaking it is a sex club, but BDSM is a large part of what goes on there. We decided to go just to people watch, without planning to actually perform, but being huge exhibitionists we did. ("Perform" referring to having sex with an audience, not doing anything BDSM-related.) It was a lot of fun. That said, while we find BDSM intriguing, it's really not our kink, and we don't see ourselves doing anything of the sort on any hypothetical future visits to this same club (or any others).

We're as open-minded and sex-positive as the next couple - maybe even moreso - but the specific things you mention as turn-offs are most certainly turn-offs for us as well, and we made sure to include them in our own answers. Nothing against anything that consenting adults happen to enjoy. It's just not for us.

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