Sex | What's On The Menu?

My husband and I were talking last night about some ideas for blogging and I pressed him a bit about the idea of how certain smells take my mind to sexual moments. We have never been one of those couples to incorporate food into our sex life, other than to make sexual innuendo comments about the English cucumber in the produce aisle; which is even funnier when they are sealed in vacuum-wrap plastic. Who knew cucumbers practiced safe sex?

I'm not suggesting that I want my own personal 9 1/2 Weeks scene ... you know, where Kim Basinger and Mickey Rourke get really raunchy in the light of the refrigerator ... but there are many ways to connect the aphrodisiac qualities of certain foods to an awesome experience in the kitchen.

A bit reason behind this is that my hubby has never been one to find food all that sexually stimulating. He says the idea of slathering on some sort of whipped cream bikini is delightfully humorous, but doesn’t exactly send him over the moon.

So, I think we're at a bit of a crossroads with one idea for sexual experimentation.

Alcohol is something completely different…especially if you get one of those wine bottles with a really long neck. Now that sends the imagination into an erotic whirlwind.

The closest we typically get to food in our sex life if flavoured lube.

And so these days, the smell of blueberries always makes me smile…

Andee     xoxo

 

Sexuality | Exploiting Erotic Capital

Found this quite interesting, given that I have a thing for both high heels and the idea of how human sexuality plays out in our society. It's from Macleans Magazine here in Canada...

"The British sociologist Catherine Hakim is no academic wallflower. More than a decade ago, her “preference” theory positing that personal choices, not gender discrimination, governed women’s involvement and advancement in the labour market, won praise, sneers and influenced social policy. Now she’s back tweaking nipples with her new book, Honey Money: The Power of Erotic Capital, which argues that “erotic capital” can be as professionally useful as a university degree, that women have been conditioned not to exploit their attractiveness for economic benefit."

I have long believed that both sexes can use the idea of "erotic capital" to advance their careers; and not just something like the infamous Hollywood "casting couch." I think we all see in our work environments' that there exists a certain element of "lookism;" where attractiveness results in an unbalanced level of pay. It's been researched and reviewed that tall men are often the highest paid, whereas overweight women paid the least.

Hakim suggests that erotic capital matters beyond the sexual field, and beyond private relationships. She has shown that erotic capital is important in the media, politics, advertising, sports, the arts, and in everyday social interaction, and includes:

• Beauty
• Sexual attractiveness
• Social attractiveness
• Vivaciousness
• Presentation
• Sexuality
• Fertility

Hakim's theory of erotic capital argues that erotic capital is a valuable fourth personal asset, alongside economic capital, cultural/human capital and social capital; that erotic capital is increasingly important in affluent modern societies; and that women generally have more erotic capital than men because they work harder at it.

Now, I happen to work in an environment where such concepts have been all but eliminated due to a rather aggressive union and influx of diversity programs meant to enforce a level of equality...but let's not go there.

One key in what the author is saying is that "erotic capital" does not equate to "acting like a bimbo." Rather, the idea is based on women using their assets, so to speak, to advance their careers in ways men have been doing for some time. And while Hollywood is the most obvious of examples, politics and business are equal partners where the idea of a "beauty premium" exists. 

Don't agree? The highest paid members of Sarah Palin's campaign staff included her make-up artist.

As the researchers have pointed out, we live in a society today where "capital" is the most desired element...and sex sells.

Which brings me to another point...

Enjoy Miniskirt Monday!

Andee     xoxo

 

Sneak Peek at My Sexy New Update

Good morning guys! Here's a little sneak peek at my latest update, which went live today on my website!

I know a lot of you have this thing for stockings are garters, and lately I have certainly been enjoying learning all about those naughty little thoughts. Now that I can see just what the excitement is all about, I think you will be enjoying this look quite a bit more on me!

I'm also working away madly at my newest project for you, which I will hopefully get posted in a little while. I mentioned before about something special for the Fall, and after some careful consideration and a great deal of masturbation, settled on taking you a deeper into my fantasies.

Stick around to see just what things pop into my mind when I need a little sexual distraction...and feel free to share yours with me too!

Andee     xoxo

Desire | Trapped In My Comfort Zone

One of the things I find myself needing to do a bit more is stepping out of my comfort zone. Lately I have been thinking about where my sexual adventure has been going, and while I have made great leaps this past year, I find that there is still so much more I want.

Most recently I have challenged my own fears just a bit with, as you have read, letting someone I know and see in my offline life into my online life. Beyond family and a few very close friends, this was the first time I had done that … and I found it exceptionally exciting, exhilarating and frightening all at once.

But I guess that is a good thing though. It helped me recognize that there is a huge desire within me to explore even bigger ideas, fantasies and experiences. And desire, whether it is just a thought in the back of my mind or an obvious out-there-for-everyone-to-see quality, is a healthy emotion.

Some people may suggest that it can be a dangerous thing, and I would have to agree to a certain point. For me, these explorations teeter on the edge of what may be a healthy relationship and an outright twist to the left of sexual perversion.

Well, maybe not quite that extreme … I know my fantasies and desires are shared by many, and relatively safe in a physical sense.

But without a sense of desire, where do our relationships sit? Even though I have been with the same person for over 20 years now, there is still a huge element of desire in our sexual explorations together. As we grow even more intimate (yes, that is possible even after 20 years), the boundaries expand, the intrigue grows and fantasies flourish. And, as we all know, it is that sense of desire that leads us to a whole world of experience - and not just in the bedroom.

What seems to counter that is the dreaded comfort zone I mentioned.

Andee     xoxo

Video Blog | Edgy & Spicy or Interesting

Hey there guys, here's another little bit of me talking about relationships. This time I touching on keeping a marriage interesting, and why that is important if you hope to have a successful - and adventurous - experience together.

And, don't forget that I put together a FREE read about how to get your partner to rock your world. It's an eBook looking at some of things I found invaluable in getting my own relationship on the path of some incredible sexual adventures. Just click on the cover, at the top right of my blog home page.

And just because it's Tuesday, there is also another hot and sexy Topless Tuesday post. Only a couple more weeks left in that summertime distraction ... any ideas what you would like to see for the 13 weeks of Fall?

Andee     xoxo

Oral | It Was Just What I Needed

I needed a break from everything last night. It seems like I have been studying for weeks now; I just want this damn exam to be over with. My husband was standing beside me, looking out the window to see where my Little Men were, while I was sitting on the couch. I reached over and started to play with him through his pants.

I admit that I love the sensation of a man getting and erection in my hand, how you can gauge his excitement as blood rushes into his cock. It is an incredible turn on to feel him get more and more turned on, knowing that I have done that; that after more than 20 years together, he still has that desire to be pleasured by me. That may sound silly, but given what we have seen from a number of our couple friends over the past few years, and the demise of more than a few of their marriages, it makes me feel wonderful we still have that affect on each other.

I asked him what he was thinking about ... he has had a lot on his mind lately and none of it all that sexy.

"I'm thinking about you giving me a blowjob."

Just what I wanted to hear.

Since the Little Men were out and we had the opportunity ... next thing I have him sitting with his pants around his ankles and I'm kneeling in front of him. I began to work my tongue on him. Did I mention he had been doing a bit of "manscaping" lately. Highly recommended habit, guys. There is nothing quite like running my tongue along the clean flesh of your .... ;-)

I asked him what he was thinking of now. He told me all kinds of naughty thoughts ... about my latest fantasy. Then he came in my mouth.

It was just what I needed.

Andee     xoxo

Preview | Naughty Office Fantasy

Hey guys! Still working away here ... in just a couple days I will be immersed in writing my exam, followed on Sunday by the practical component. Can you say "nerves!"

Update 356 - Sexy Office Fantasy

Anyway, I haven't forgotten about the fun stuff in life. I mentioned in some tweets and an earlier blog about introducing a new thing called Fantasy Fridays. My idea involves me taking your imagination through a little expedition of what makes me tick when it comes to sex; what are some of those deep, dark thoughts that I have - and who knows, I might even name names. The really fun thing is, I know there are some thoughts floating around in my head that my husband doesn't even know about yet. And I already share a lot with him!

I'm planning on having this new adventure rolling throughout the fall, just to give you guys some new things to think about! Who knows, maybe it will even help get some of you to leave me some hot and sexy comments ... maybe you might even discover a few of your own fantasies! ;-)

In the meantime, I have a new update coming online tomorrow (hopefully) and I thought it would be a good idea to help get those naughty ideas rolling. So far it looks like my next video will also be an office fantasy theme ... which is good since I have a lot of office fantasies I would like to share with you.

Hope you like it!

Andee     xoxo

Hiatus | A Very Brief Break

Hey guys, sorry that I didn't get a chance to blog yesterday. I'm on a very brief hiatus as I prepare for a work-related exam this Saturday, and a second one on Sunday. Mandatory studying and curfew is in effect.

And to boot, Ferris Bueller's Day Off is on as I write this ... anyone ... Bueller?

So instead of some deeply naughty thoughts, my mind is racing between the reality of playing hookie from studying to watch an awesome 80s classic movie and the guilt of needing to crack the books.

Anyway, if you were following my tweets yesterday, you will have learned that my flirting contest has come to an official conclusion. Yep, the days of having to ante up some oral just because someone complimented me is now over. I admit that it has been an exceptionally erotic summer for me, one in which I tested the boundaries of my imagination and courage. I don't want to sound too quirky, but in a way, I also learned quite a bit about myself ... and that I LOVE pushing the boundaries.

But, with the end of the flirting contest must come something new and exciting for all of you. My thoughts have been to something more along the lines of Fantasy Friday ... where each week throughout the fall I will divulge one of my deepest, most erotic sexual fantasies.

Just a thought ... let me know what you think of all that.

If I get a chance to catch up again later this week, I most certainly will.

Andee     xoxo

 

Sexting | A Summer Of Wet Panties

I trust everyone is enjoying their holiday Monday…at least it is here. Well, except for me, who is trudging off to Day 5 on the job. And to add to the stress, my major exam that I have mentioned here and there is on Saturday and I have no shame in admitting I am shitting bricks over it.

But, thanks to some delightful distractions here and there, I have managed to keep it together long enough for another Miniskirt Monday for you - and some naughty thoughts.

For anyone who has been following me on Twitter, you know this past summer I have been enjoying some electronic fun with my husband. I guess in short terms, you might say “sexting” but it really has been more than that, as we tend to not really do the cyber so much as we talk about our sexual fantasies…and his habit of daring me to do and share things I wouldn’t normally.

I never thought that work over the summer would have been such an exciting venture; spending a number of days in a state of constant lust and horniness thanks to modern technology.

And the fall looks even more intriguing as my hubby recently updated my phone to something with a whole lot of potential!

At first, I wasn’t sure about the idea of “sexting.” But my uncertainty vanished in about three seconds after I got into it. And the fact that some of my coworkers sneer and scoff at me has made it an even more enjoyable experience. But it’s not that healthy to enjoy their jealousy, I guess.

Anyway, to the point…

I also learned that there is some key etiquette in fooling around electronically - and I’m not talking Tiger Woods here. So, like I do when I am looking to give my sexy guy readers some advice, I turned to some of the places you like to surf in order to help me out.

Here’s what I discovered:

Don’t Sext Someone You Haven’t Sexed
Some people think sexting is a risk because your sexual intentions have now been broadcast - and open to an interpretation you can’t control. Make sure you are playing electronically with someone who shares your sexual desires, or you could end up like that football guy.

Don’t Sext What Your Wouldn’t Say
Technology has allowed us to hide behind the screen. Look at the nasty comments that get left just about anywhere; things you would never say face to face. Sexting is a bit like that, hopefully without the negative though. Can you say to the person what you are writing? It’s great to have the buffer to hide some of the embarrassment or shyness…but don’t sext about, oh, threesomes unless you really have a delicious realistic desire. I’d hate to bring the guy home and have you explain you were just kidding!

No Unsolicited Sexts
I’m on the fence here but I tend to be more open-minded than most. I’m also pretty selective in who gets my phone number. If you have my number, chances are I’m cool with some naughtiness. Keep in mind, I don’t hide it from the guy who I sext with constantly though…But if you get her number, try polite and g-rated flirtations before you graphically plan out a trip to Hedo with her.

Which brings me to …

Sext With Words
OK, I’ve seen penises before: big ones, little ones, hard ones, soft ones. So, if you’re gonna sext, then appeal to my imagination and intellect. Treat sexting like a great romance novel, with an erotic twist. It’s why we buy and read them…and by the way, women who read those novels have sex twice as often as women who don’t. Words make me wet, pictures … not as much as words. Women are funny that way.

Which contrasts …

Photographs
If you’re gonna sext, at some point you’re gonna send naughty photos to each other. But while close-ups work of her body bits may work for you, women want to see the whole package, not just the penile package. Full body shots to show me your rock-solid abs and bulging biceps, maybe that awesome ass I look at while you walk away; a sexy body is a turn-on…we’ve seen penises really close up already. And we know what they do.

So, there you have it, a bit of advice from someone who has learned the fun and excitement of electronic sex this past summer. I may not be an expert, but I’m a good speller and I have a very dirty imagination!

And by the way, check out my newest addition to my blog, my new eBook: How To Get Her To Rock YOUR World - A Not-So-Average Girl-Next-Door's Guide To Getting The Sex You Want. Just drop me an e-mail at sexy.andee@gmail.com to receive your FREE copy.

Andee     xoxo

Getting It Makes You Look Younger

I think I finally found some trashy women's magazine advice that I can agree with. In an edition of Chatelaine magazine (I think it's only out in Canada), there was an article by a Toronto-based naturopath suggesting that sex helps keep you looking young.

OK, I'm sold...although I must say that I really should look barely legal given my sex life right now, but alright...

Anyway, there were a number of key points - mostly stuff we already knew - about why sex is good for us:


1. It's a natural pain reliever: Sex causes increased production of oxytocin, which is often referred to as the “love hormone".  Before orgasm, oxytocin, released from the brain, surges up to five times the normal level. This increase then leads to the release of endorphins, our natural pain-killing hormones. (Given how much I enjoy my orgasms...I should be numb from any pain!)

2. It’s a stress reliever: The endorphins released during sexual intercourse and orgasms are natural mood-boosters and stress relievers. Regular sex can also boost your self-esteem and increase intimacy between partners. Studies have found that semen does contain several mood-altering hormones that can reduce depression, testosterone, oestrogen, follicle-stimulating hormone, luteinizing hormone, prolactin and several different prostaglandins. Some of these changes have been detected in a women's blood within hours of exposure to semen. (Funny, I couldn't find anything about swallowing semen ... but I'm still willing to bet that it's not bad for me!)

3. It boosts immunity: Endorphins released during intimacy have been found to stimulate immune system cells that fight disease. Researchers have found higher levels of Immunoglobulin A in individuals who have regular sex. Immunoglobulin A is a type of antibody that helps to protect us from infections. It is normally found in high levels in the mucous membranes of the digestive and respiratory tracts.

4. It’s good for your heart: Intercourse, depending on your level of enthusiasm, can be considered aerobic exercise, burning up to 200 calories per session. Among other benefits, women who engage in regular sexual activity with their partners have higher levels of estrogen, which protects against heart disease. Research has found that men who have sex two times per week have fewer heart attacks than those who do not. The hormones released during sex cause an increase in blood pressure and heart rate, and it engages almost every muscle in the body.(And if you do it right, well, the cardio benefits go on and on and on and on ...)

5. It turns back the clock: A 2002 study found a 50 per cent reduction in overall mortality in the group of men who said they had the most orgasms. As I tweeted about on Monday, orgasms for me between the ages of 20 and 50 are good for your prostate and can increase your life span. Every time you reach orgasm, the hormone DHEA increases in response to sexual excitement and orgasm. DHEA can boost your immune system, improve cognition, keep skin healthy, and even work as an antidepressant. Therefore, the added health benefit is that you will feel—and look—younger, longer. (If you need a prostate exam, I'm not a doctor but I'll be happy to tickle it for you!!!)

6. It gives you a glow: Women who have more sex have higher levels of estrogen, which is essential to enjoying healthier, smoother skin. This increase in estrogen also helps to protect us from heart disease, osteoporosis and Alzheimer’s disease. Not only that, but the more sex you have, the more your partner will want it; when we are more sexually active we give off more pheromones, the chemicals we produce to increase the interest of the opposite sex. It also promotes the production of collagen, which keeps the skin supple and gives you a healthy glow. (And attracting the opposite sex is key when one fantasizes about multiple partners in one go!)

So, just in case anyone disputes that regular sex is anything but good ... well, read yesterday's blog about masturbation and let me know if you need a hand ;-)

Andee     xoxo