As for what is next, I promise in a couple days I will have a new poll for you. I’m always open to ideas.
And speaking of ideas, this is a bit of a paraphrase of a number of conversations I’ve had with one of my Office Guys, who seems to have some issues in his own relationship.
“Do you think it's ok to keep noticing another woman after you are in a committed relationship? Does this change when you are married?”
I think it is absolutely OK. I am a huge people watcher and there is only one thing I love better than noticing a really sexy woman. And all of this came about in a big way because of my marriage … but then again, I think my husband loves that I notice other women. I just don’t always share the one thing I love more: noticing other really hot guys.
But joking aside, I am the kind of person who struggles more with the idea of jealousy than I do about looking at people of the opposite sex. I think issues like that tend to be more poisonous to a relationship.
Think of this … I have a website with thousands of naughty photos of me, some quite hardcore, and I know that there are guys out there that all kinds of deliciously kinky things while they are looking at my photos. I can’t be the kind of woman that has an issue with noticing others.
Humans are naturally curious creatures. We need to explore the world around us, and that takes in exploring those who share our space. Of course, there is a big difference in noticing. Are you suggesting that there are issues with a polite little glance as an attractive woman breezes past on the sidewalk, or are you the type to fall down on your knees, bark like a dog and make an attempt to lick her ankles?
As I have blogged before, my husband and I are comfortable with each other’s habit of people watching, and we will often share what we notice openly with each other. However, none of it is blatantly sexual: “Look at that guy! Wow I would love to have him pump me right here and now!” But we will give each other the quiet little nod or nudge to indicate “look there …”
A lot of it comes down to respect and trust. I’d say that if you have a relationship that is strong and open, then it’s just being a normal, healthy voyeur - which many of us are. But if restraining orders, binoculars and excessive saliva are part of it, there may be an issue.