One of my friends strongly views the “facial” finish in oral sex as an insult; almost as if it comes across as a sexist and derogatory completion to an act she already has some serious issues with. Of course, she is also one who I would be willing to bet uses her mouth for anything but blowjobs.
As a woman who thoroughly enjoys taking a man into my mouth and driving him to the point of orgasm, I felt it was important to share some ideas on the topic; mostly because I see that kind of attitude as a barrier to greater sexual adventures. If you take offence to something that you are a willing participant in for 95% of the moment, then decide “OK, that’s it” just before the big finish, well … maybe you need to have some serious conversations in your relationship.
I’ll admit that it took me quite a long time to adjust to the idea of swallowing a man’s cum. I would find ways to take the intimacy in a different direction before I would have to confront my apprehension. And, to be fair, I didn’t get a lot of complaints anyway.
The lack of pressure from my partner to actually finish him off by swallowing enabled me to get comfortable in my own mind with the idea, and then when I had confronted my fears and overcame them, the pure delight and appreciation from my partner was a massive boost to my confidence – and willingness to repeat the act.
These days I find myself actually wanting to make him cum in my mouth and am perfectly content with pulling out my favourite vibrator afterwards and letting him watch as I bring myself to orgasm.
And there are times when I actually do want my guy to blow his load all over me. I find it an equally erotic moment to watch from such a close angle as he cums. The sensation of those hot spurts on my flesh, and the knowledge that I am the one who is making him cum, is an incredible turn-on. I suppose it is connected to the idea that I don’t see oral sex as a submissive act; in reality, women can hold an incredible amount of sexual power in with their mouth.
It doesn’t hurt that my partner repeatedly tells me that I am good at it.
On the other side of the debate, I also happen to think that for the most part, having a man cum on me instead of in me is a bit of a short-change for him. In my own sexual experience, I have learned that the majority of the men in my life want the “swallow.” The incredible sensation for him, combined with idea of “reward” is an amazing sexual experience. It’s kind of like eating a delicious cream-filled doughnut, without eating the cream; why bother?
I realize that there are many women who just can’t fathom the idea of cum in their mouth; and that’s a shame … understandable, but still a shame. Hopefully they are able to find ways to enhance the intimacy with their partners as opposed to using the “spit vs. swallow vs. facial” debate as a bone of contention in their sexual experience.