February 28, 2012

Sex Fantasies | The Top 5 For Women

I have to admit, there are some days when I wonder how much of this talk about my sex fantasies you guys really want to read about. Like everyone else, I flutter between too much information and being far too reserved. And I'm never really sure if you would rather go the route of actual insightful advice, or downright dirty erotic experiences.

For me, this whole thing was designed as an outlet for all those ideas that go on between my ears ... and sometimes between my legs. It's been a way to share on an intimate level with a few people that know, and at times, share thoughts with my partner that I could never openly verbalize.

But, I am hopeful that you are enjoying all it.

On the weekend - which if you followed any of my Twitter updates - I was partly in recovery mode from a little too much indulgence in tequila-mixed margaritas. And while cozily camped out in my comfy not-so-sexy pajamas in the corner of my couch, I had the chance to read a few things from those trashy women's magazines that I love (and hate) so much.

As a woman, it's important to be seen (by those who matter in an intimate sense) as desirable. We want to feel loved, needed - and lusted over. It's a big part of how we define our sexual side. And on the good side for you guys, when we feel all those emotions from you, the rewards tend to be significant and valuable for our relationship together.

I've worked relatively hard at being more open-minded in my personal life, and actually expressing the sexual fantasies that go on inside of me. Some are relatively tame in comparison, while others have become huge bucket list items in my life regardless of how complicated it may be to turn them into reality. So when I read this bit about the top five fantasies women have, I thought it might be a good thing to share.

Here 5 common female sexual fantasies from the Good In Bed blog, and a look at where they come from:
  1. Sex with a stranger. In a 2001 study published by The Journal of Sex Research, 80 percent of partnered women said they had fantasized about someone other than their partner during sex in the previous two months. Why? Because, while sex within the context of monogamy can be totally hot, it's hard to replicate the intensity of the initial chase. Fantasizing about someone new is a way of recalling how fantastic it felt to be so obviously pursued.
  2. Being dominant in bed. While it may seem counter-intuitive for a woman to want to take charge when what they're really craving is the feeling of being desired, the dominatrix scenario actually revolves around the man worshipping the woman's body, and begging her for attention.
  3. Exhibitionism. In this scenario, a woman not only gets to enjoy sex with her partner, but also gets to enjoy the knowledge that someone else (or several someones?) is feeling aroused by watching her in action.
  4. Being sexually ravaged. Sometimes known as rape fantasy, this particular desire is not necessarily what you think. How many spicy hot movie scenes have you enjoyed in which the man pushed the woman up against the wall, forcing a kiss upon her? The thought of a man so bursting with desire is an undeniably a turn on for some women.
  5. Enjoying a threesome. Being worshipped and adored by two different men - or a man and a woman - can be twice as nice.
"So don't fear your fantasies. Enjoy them. Use them to heat things up in the bedroom. And remember: There is a clear difference between fantasy and reality. And sometimes, a wacky fantasy is just hinting at another, perfectly normal desire within you.

"Too many of us feel guilty about our fantasy life, whether because we dream about someone other than our current partner or because our imagination runs wild with behavior we would never condone in real life.

"The truth is, a healthy fantasy life is one key to a great sex life - and your partner might not always play the leading role. Fantasy isn't the sad daydreaming of the lonely, forlorn or frustrated in love. Research shows that people with active fantasy lives are more sexually satisfied, more sexually responsive and more adventurous about sex in general. Not bad."
Andee     xoxo

1 comment:

Jack and Jill said...

We're sorry that you didn't participate in TMI Tuesday this week, but we were very pleased to read this instead!

I enjoy all of these fantasies, though it's important that I not think of #4 as a rape fantasy or it loses much of the appeal. I lean toward submissive most of the time, and it's a huge turn-on for a man to be so excited by me that he can't control himself. Incidentally, I have experienced all five of these. :)

- Jill