Is My Greatest Virtue My Biggest Sin?

Over the weekend, this was a particularly prominent topic in my conversations - probably because of a couple of events that have occurred in my life lately, and another fleeting and slightly clandestine opportunity on Friday afternoon.

And, as I kind of poked around on Sunday, feeling a little green from a few too many sips of my Saturday night margaritas, I read this bit about sharing thoughts on ideas, such as the seven deadly sins, being naughty, and how one of those sins might also be one of my greatest virtues. For example, what bad thing could actually make me more appealing?

For me, and I don't want anyone to hurt themselves trying to figure things out, I would say it would be lust.

• Lust is a big part of what makes me feel alive, and helps me enjoy being a woman in her sexual prime.
• Lust is my personal reward for playing the role of sex object in another person's eyes.
• Lust is fantasizing about one's desire, usually in a sexual way.
• Lust is what challenges the conventions that separate society's idea of the "good girl" versus "bad girl" or "the angel" versus "the slut."

To say lust is a sin is just as baffling as saying window-shopping is a sin, or buying a new car is a sin. To suggest that wanting something in life is sinful is based on someone else's perception of what should be right and should be wrong. To assign religious and social stigma, to me, is equally sinful.

But when it comes down how we relate to each other, and my sheer enjoyment of the male gender, I try hard to be someone that doesn't get too hung up on the relationships between the sexes; which is probably why I am comfortable with lust. But I also think that, as unfair as it is, women are somewhat allowed to express/pursue their lustful desires a bit more than men. Men tend to get painted, equally as unfairly, as pigs and perverts if they dare mention even the slightest thing.

I was reading this particular blog from a site known as the Good Men Project and found that there seems to be a great deal of despair among men at how modern society views their somewhat instinctive feelings when it comes to members of the opposite sex.

The author writes: "Nearly all men (and most women, I’d wager) walk the line between repressing and expressing their physical lust. This isn’t a fundamentalist attitude, it’s common sense. Most men over the age of 15 have long since learned that ogling a woman’s chest is a good way to get smacked upside the head. This has nothing to do with marriage customs and everything to do with social pressures."

I think a great deal of the problem in being someone able to express their lust is how our social mores have removed the individual's choice in perception. Workplace policies and social pressures have been carved in stone to prevent men and women from even being able to do the simplest of things such as paying a member of the opposite sex a compliment.

In the end, lust is nothing more than a simple human emotion of desire and wanting. Sure, it is a primal sexual emotion most of the time, but don't even think that I can't lust after a delicious cheesecake as much as I can a great looking guy. I encourage it ... and I like to know about it. I guess that level of openness with the men in my life is what elevates this to a virtue, because they can rest assured that I'm game for their playful thoughts and desires.

At the end of the day, I won't hold you accountable for your lust, as long as you don't judge me for mine.

The moment I stop desiring and wanting to experience all life has to offer me - particularly in a sexual fashion - then I move from being associated with the ancient notion of committing one of the seven deadly sins to committing one of my own: having a sexual hang-up.

Of course, I'd rather not discuss the one virtue that I struggle with on a greater level: patience ...

Andee     xoxo