April 23, 2012

Five Of This ... Five Of That

It’s one of those things I sometimes encounter when I am having a conversation with people who know about my dual life. Despite the reality of who I really am – and the so-not-what-you-think aspect of that – there are still a lot of assumptions that my life is so much more exciting and adventurous than it is.

My husband and I started this, as I have said more than a few times, as a way to grow together and experience what life could offer. Our inhibitions never really disappeared, just parts of our bravery emerged. And while my blog is the one place where I share all of that, I try hard not to bore you with the routine of being a regular woman … I hate the word “normal.” There are still many things I would love to experience in my life, and I have my doubts some of them will ever happen, but the journey is the purpose of it all.

And those things that don’t happen? That’s what dreams and fantasies are for.

A while ago I was chatting with a friend who knows both sides of my life and they made suggestion that they were interested in trying something new in life and, in a way, scoffed a little that I must think they were silly for wanting to, given the “experiences” I have. I was a little caught off guard at their assumption, but it got me to thinking about something I had been sent as part of a series of questions one of my usual “guys” wanted to know.

For the sake of making it more in tune with my blog, I’ve decided to dispel some of the myths in a collection of sexy haves and have nots in my life … so far.

5 things I have done that other people probably have not
1. The obvious – my website
While there are other women (and men) out there that have adult websites, I honestly believe that it does not rank high on the list of many people’s bucket lists. Out of everyone I know offline, none of them has one. And even though I am 10 years into having my own, I still struggle with the concept every now and then. Instead of looking at it as a guilty pleasure, it is more of pleasure that comes with some guilt.

2. Almost as obvious – sex videos … for sale
There are lots of things I’ve read about couples making their own sex videos … and probably anyone with a good camcorder has raised a curious eyebrow as a kinky idea popped into their head. But I can’t say there are a lot of people out there that make amateur sex videos for sale like we do. Sure, there’s a healthy, sexually-involved community surrounding the idea, but just don’t think it’s a leading activity on most people’s Saturday nights.

3. Danced topless
Something slightly tamer than the first two … and I am not talking about a quick little alcohol-inspired flash at some college bar. I am talking about honest-to-goodness “not a stitch above the waist” topless dance … on a few different occasions. The first time was at a club my husband and I used to go to, designed for people “in the lifestyle.” Another time was at a similar club, but with the woman half of a couple that we had met and hung out with a few times. She did have nice, small breasts … and the dances we shared were a lot of fun.

4. Had a foursome
Threesomes rank very high on people’s fantasy lists, yet most information I have seen on the reality behind the fantasy is that less than 10% of couples have actually shared the sheets with other people. That said, my experiences weren’t the earth-shattering MFM steamy, orgasmic wildness I would love to experience. They were some interesting moments in time with a couple of friends that opened the door to even more ideas of what I would like in my sexual adventure. And so, even with a foursome technically checked off, the fantasy remains very, very high on my bucket list of sexual desires. Not that I really have a bucket list, but damn I’d love the threesome/foursome/groupsome/gropesome again.

5. Share oral with a coworker
Wow … what to share here, other than “go read about it.”

5 things I haven't done that other people probably have
1. Gone skinny dipping
Yes, one of those simple summer activities of youth … yet I have never dropped the bikini and gone skinny dipping. Been naked in a few hot tubs, but never at the beach.

2. Had a one-night stand
This one torments me a little; in a way I’m proud that all of my sexual experiences have been the result of a stable relationship, but at the same time I wonder about the excitement and energy surrounding an unplanned, almost anonymous hook-up.

3. Had my heart truly broken
In this I mean that my relationships have all panned out the way they should. Any of them before my marriage ended with some disappointment, but not the weeks/months/years of doubt and emotional anguish of being “crushed” by their failure. In a way I hope to never add this to my list of experiences, but life is full of curveballs and there is no doubt that each and every one of us will go through relationship heartbreak of one form or another.

4. Smoked
There are some very strong reasons in my personal life as to why I have never – and will never – pick up a cigarette. I might admit to a tiny little experimentation with pot, but light years away from habitual – or even saying ‘experienced.’

5. Blind Date/Set-up Date/Online Date
Maybe a bit of a reach, because I know lots of people that have not been on “official” blind dates, but have been introduced to someone via “double dates” and “group dates.” My first few boyfriends were guys I knew from school. Then, when I was still a teenager, I met the man who would become my husband. We met on a soccer field … since then all my dates outside my relationship with him have been (as you saw above) foursomes and a delightful afternoon rendezvous.

So, there you go … a few more things I’m sure you absolutely were dying to know about me. I’m curious though. I wracked my brain on trying to figure out some of the sexy things that I have and have not done – what is there that I might have overlooked? What are some of the things you have done that you think others may not have? Would love to compare notes.
Andee xoxo 


Anonymous said...

What a great bit of insight I would love to help with things you haven't done yet (: ~Pete

AHubbyof2SexualMinds said...

Great answers and I was more surprised by the things you haven't done. Online dating is not what it's cracked up to be, believe me, but that was in the early days of the Internet. Skinny dipping and one night stands were fun too, at the time they occurred. Now, no way.