October 18, 2011

Letting Go Of Sexual Hangups

I’m not sure if anyone else thinks this way, but as I get older I start to question some of those attitudes and ideas that I held close when I was younger; certain emotional handcuffs like petty jealousies and the mentality of “I would never do that.”

I guess, in a way, I have reached a point in life when I have to consciously shed hangups.

And I won’t say it’s easy. I know that everyone has some sort of sexual hangups, whether they are related to certain sex acts or freely loving their partner and letting the trust in the relationship take over. (Of course, one slight breech in that and all will fall apart anyway) For me, I don’t an awful lot of them - which makes for the first problem. But of the few I do, having to let go of something that I have clung to for a fairly long time is a challenge.

A big part of what has been leading up to this, and that’s not to say there has been one big “a ha!” moment, is that as I get older, I come to accept and see just how silly some of those have been. And the more that I am able to let them go, the more fun and satisfaction emerges in my sex life; not to mention the great exploration in my fantasies!

For the past few days I have been tweeting about my hot plans for this weekend. Ok, my plans may not be the “swinging from the chandelier threesome” that I occasionally fantasize about, but they still involve what seems to be a lingering taboo - sex. My husband and I have made some sexy arrangements for a nice dinner date and going to the Everything About Sex Show that is coming to town. When I mentioned this to a couple people, I got the “oh ick” reaction.

What I have learned in this sexual journey is that when you open your mind and challenge the conventions that other people establish, life can be an exceptionally exciting (insert ‘orgasmic’ if you like) experience. It frustrates me when other people expect me to share their hangups about something like sex...especially when this is more like a shopping trip/consumer trade show than an actual sex show.

Our society has the uncanny ability to assign the terms “normal” and “perverted” extremely quickly; but where does the criteria come from? Who establishes the idea of what is “normal” when it comes to sex?

Hang ups come from when we place what others think, or may think, about how we act and the pleasure we may obtain from some really dirty, naughty, leave me sore in the morning, kind of sex.

So, I think I am trading some of my silly notions that once held me back from my sexual adventure for a new one: a hang up on worrying about all the toe-curling sex so many others are missing out on.
Andee     xoxo

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