The topic came up when I was answering a few questions from him about my own imagination. He told me that he was quite envious because his own wife, for whatever reason, stuck to her story about not having any fantasies.
I find that a bit difficult to wrap my brain around, because even if they are the simplest of ideas when you close your eyes - even if it is about your partner - it’s still a fantasy. I have a hard time believing that people can go through adulthood - and marriage - without having any fantasies. What I do think is that some people can be extremely nervous about sharing those thoughts; perhaps out of fear or jealousy.
My husband and I have been very supportive of each other when it has come to fantasies - and discussing them. What a lot of people don’t seem to accept is that fantasies are not signs of a bad relationship. On the contrary, I think they are signs of a very healthy relationship. Cheating and deceit are signs of a bad relationship.
A key to getting it started, or maybe even getting her to open up, is to hold off on all those collegiate daydreams of Swedish bikini volleyball teams or anything that begins with "I have a friend ..." Try something safe, perhaps a touch stereotypical, and that puts her in a slightly dominant (not BDSM kind of dominant) position. If she feels she has a bit of control over the "storyline," she may be more willing to open up.
Where To Begin
So, in order to help promote some naughty thoughts, I have borrowed a little guide from one of my husband’s old Men’s Health magazines (lord, I love magazines with tons of pictures of built, half-naked men!) on how to create a healthy, consensual fantasy.
It’s really easy to create something hot if you put your imagination to good use - and TALK with your partner.
You are (pick one):
- A tall, dark. mysterious stranger
- Handyman/Poolboy/TV Repairman
- The big boss
- Traveling salesman
- Star athlete
- A real estate agent
- A rock star
- Her favourite TV character
She is (pick one):
- School teacher
- The woman in red
- Wealthy socialite
- New secretary
- Bored housewife
- A librarian
- Head cheerleader
- Your favourite TV character
You go to (pick one):
- The office late at night
- The hotel lounge
- The back row of the red-eye flight
- The back yard patio
- The livingroom couch
- The back seat of the car
- The garage
- A secluded clearing in the woods
You bring (pick one):
- A ruler
- A fake mustache
- A cucumber and other intriguing massage tools
- A business suit and a short dress
- Handcuffs
- A trenchcoat
- A blanket
- Mood music
Now, mix and match, use your imagination and that should help get you started, as long as you have a willing play mate. And come to think of it, there's even a few here I might try myself.
And for the ladies, this one is huge...in the past couple weeks I have heard from a ton of guys about the same fantasy. So, after digging into it, and borrowing this tidbit from Redbook...yeah, it's usually trashy advice, but I can attest to the success.
Garter Belt & Stockings
Haven't worn one since your wedding? Then it's time to give him a second viewing. (It'll transform you into a sultry femme fatale from a 1940s movie; perhaps he'll want to role-play the hard-boiled private eye.) On your next date night, slide his palm under your skirt just far enough so that he realizes you aren't wearing your usual hose. A sexy mystery will begin!
Andee xoxo
1 comment:
I like this very much.
I believe people who say they do not have fantasies, usually have very intense fantasies. Ones they are scared to share fearing their partner would think they are perverted.
Allot of marriages have two people with strong fantasies, who tell each they don't have any resulting in fullfillment being provided by someone else.
Someone safer, if they find our fantasies to be deviant or strange we careless.
Extreme example, Honey I have a fantasy of you fucking me in the ass with a strapon. If the wife is not into this, she likely would not understand and may even start to think your gay, and once stated you cannot un-say it.
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