Relationships | The Marrying Age

I married young. And probably much to the disbelievers in love, to a man who is 8 years older than me. I was engaged when I went to college, which many said was his way of ensuring that I would remain faithful in a long-distance relationship … and I even had my male roommates proclaim that they would have that ring off my finger by Spring Break.

My less than saintly cousins (I don't have enough blog space to write about that part of my life) whispered that I must be pregnant to be engaged at such a young age. My best revenge was watching their own daughters act as flower girls at their weddings ... it's called birth control for a reason, sweeties.

Anyway ...

After 20 years, my husband and I are still together, defying the odds, exploring this exciting adventure called life.

It's not always perfect, nor does it always turn out to be the way you think it will. But seeking perfection is what consumes people and leaves them disappointed and bitter - or in a career as a Cosmo writer.

The other day I was reading an article about Are You The Right Age To Marry. And, of course, I always love it when the bitter Carrie Bradshaw wannabes at Cosmo try to provide us with relationship advice.

The article was based on the recent news surrounding 51-year-old actor Doug Hutchison and 16-year-old Courtney Stodden. The scandal is the age difference … unless you believe in love, then the scandal is really about how the less than perfect media is once again injecting opinion into how people should live their lives. Personally I could care less about the couple’s relationship, other than to say I hope it works out because everyone is allowed to search for their soul mate.

The Cosmo experts say that 25 is the best age to get married … mostly based on the fact that by 25 we have graduated from college, gotten a job and are somewhat self-supporting and mature.

Supposedly …

What I see, and remain amused after 20 years, are the circle of friends I had from those days when I was young, in love and committed to an older man. Now in their late 30s, several have been divorced and remarried. Some even re-divorced and re-remarried. Having come from a small town, the family trees look more like blueprints for sewage pipes than ancestral maps. If divorce statistics were based on the people we knew, it would be way higher than the 50% it already is. And the gene pool much smaller.

Hardly the beacons of maturity and responsibility.

Marriage should not be something that is based on accounting, finance and chronology … it should be based on those hard to measure factors of love, commitment and, you bet I’m saying it - respect.

There is no amount of cash that is going to blow my mind between the sheets like sex does with someone I am emotionally in tune with. A big wallet will not rock my world like a man who shows me consideration for my needs, desires and fantasies.

A bit of a rant today. But then, what do I know … according to Cosmo I missed out on those years of dating and learning what I like and need in a man because I was too busy being married to someone at a young age.

Andee     xoxo