March 16, 2011

Sex | Is it a Bartering Tool?

Here’s a bit more fun for you today guys … at least I hope that it how this turns out for you. It’s March Break around here, which means even more juggling skills come into play. Sometimes I think I’ll give up my chosen career and join the circus; flaming bowling pins and turbo charged chainsaws seem a little amateur after some of my days.

Anyway, this is an age-old question, and one that comes up every now and then in my chats with some online friends.

Have you ever given or taken sexual favours in return for something (money, drugs, drinks, dinner, transportation, help with something)?

Do presents count? Jewellery? My engagement ring? LOL ... Actually, no. I'm not sure I could really do the whole swap for sex thing. Sex with me goes one of two ways: emotional or recreation. I find myself, after being with the same man for 20 years, that there needs to be that emotional connection.

However, lately we have been having a lot of fun exploring on a more recreational level with another couple. It is a whole new dimension after being monogamous for so long. It has helped me explore my bi-sexual side, confirmed a few of my own suspicions (LOL...I know you're reading), and brought a huge flame back into my sex life with my husband.

Now, outside of that exploration, there are varying levels of motivation - on both parties’ behalf. There are moments when I know that if I want to ‘persuade’ my husband to do something with me outside of the bedroom, he is much more easily convinced after a mind-blowing BJ. And I am not naïve enough to think that he hasn’t invested a little extra energy into some sessions so that a night out with the boys or a long business trip isn’t met with my disappointment.

Is that ‘trading sex’ or just part of a normal, healthy give-and-take relationship? Probably a bit of both.

I will admit to a minor bit of sexuality to getting things - but not sex. And, I whole-heartily believe this is the norm: but like many women, I have flirted playfully and shamelessly in social settings to get guys to buy me drinks. I do need to add that, as horrible as that sounds, I have also offered every time to pay for my own - and I do not take it to the extreme that some women I know do.

Playful sexual innuendo, polite conversation and respectful temporary companionship have been my thing in those moments, so my agenda wasn’t as ‘gold-digging’ as some. I have always been honest with the guys in those situations - making sure they notice my wedding ring so not to get any suggestion that there is anything more coming later.

And then there is the darker side: does my website fit into this? Could it be seen by others that I am doing exactly that by posing for naughty photos and selling amateur sex videos?

I don’t know where I stand on that angle. But on a personal, physical level could I, or would I, use sex as a bartering tool. It's not my nature...although as I have said, I suppose everyone has their price ;-)

Andee     xoxo


Snake said...

As salespeople like to say, everything's for sale . . . It's just a question of how much . . . :) So yeah Andee, I think you're right in that statement . . . It applies to us all on some level . . . Anyone who says it doesn't is either naive, or lying . . . Ciao!

Andee said...

I think it is very true, but this perspective really made me think about a lot of things I had kind of shuffled aside and denied ... which in turn left me with a whole new avenue to explore!

H said...

I absolutely love that photo because it is so true, the look on the boys face is perfect and will never change until he is either 90 years old or dead. The only thing not 100% correct about the picture is the girl, she probably will not figure that comment out till she is in her twenties...... excellent post