March 14, 2011

Self-Doubts | We All Have Them

Sorry I haven't been blogging much the past week guys, I've been spending quite a bit of time preparing for the final exam in my last work course. It's going to be a tough one, so I have been putting a lot of my energy into that. Then, once I get that behind me, I get to move on to the regulatory exam - but only after I donate a kidney to pay for the sitting fee! Sheesh ...

I also have my first video blog almost ready to go, but I need to get my hubby to clean up a bit of the ramblings. I'll get that posted in the next couple of days for you. It was a bit awkward at first, but I think I'll get the hang of it. I don't know if 'blogging protocol' says you are supposed to edit the darn things, but given it was my first time (not many of those left!) I want it to be coherent.

It was also a good time to reflect a bit on the past few months since I started up this blog. For me, going back on it all, I kind of started thinking, "Are you guys really all that interested in me?" I think we all have moments of self-doubt and wonder ... and perhaps that was one of those for me.

As people, we're all a little voyeuristic. I don't mean just in a 'sexual' way, but rather that we all have this natural curiosity about other people. Call it people-watching; but none the less, we are inquisitive types. I know I am for sure. And although I try very hard to not be, I think our modern times have also made us all a little narcissistic. It's a huge reason why social media has become popular (OK, I did borrow that one!). We like to 'quietly' let others into our lives and see just what it is we are up to.

When I started my little venture here, I didn't consciously think that this was going to turn into such a revealing look at my thoughts, fantasies and secrets. It was more about me having a running diary of my adventure so I could occupy my commutes to work, and share a little insight with my husband. Since then I've become braver, more curious about a lot of things, and hopefully a little better writer. A big part of me didn't think I would get 100 readers, and now as I'm coming up to four months of sharing, the numbers have climbed to 31,000.

I honestly don't know if that is good or bad. I hear that there are blogs that get hundreds of thousands ... but I doubt those are for some small-town girl's random and occasionally naughty thoughts that she types out on public transportation.

But that hasn't given me a lot of insight into why, if at all, you guys are interested. What makes someone drawn into these things, and keeps them coming back?

I'd love to know, if you care to share.

Andee     xoxo


H said...

I am very interested in you, I like to read your point of view on things.... of course seeing you T&A is a added benefit

Andee said...

Thanks H! I appreciate your comments and regular visits here. Like I said, I think we all have those moments of reflection and questioning. For me, I'm both confused and flattered that you guys do stop by and read my blog...but I'll take it!