I’ve been packing so much of my spare time into all of this school crap that I kind of forgot how much of a good distraction the Internet can be. I managed to slip on for a few minutes last night and catch up with some friends and fans.
I was telling them how much I never wanted to have to go through this regulation process for my job again, and the conversation just kind of went from there. We started going on about the things we would do again, and the things we would not … and so, I have kind of pilfered today’s mindless drivel from that. Hope you don’t mind.
What is the wild and crazy thing that you have done that you will not do again?
And there are many things that I can say I wish I had thought through a lot better before I tried them. I’m not sure if those things qualify as true regrets, but some things could have been approached a bit more carefully, considerately and privately.
I don’t have any regrets about my website, but if I could do it all again, I would definitely keep it more private in my real life than letting some people in on it. I’ve never aspired to being a mainstream ‘porn star’ - am glad I’m not - but you would think I am given how some relatives have carried on. I could have done without having nosy cousins try to stir up family bullshit and gossip. They found out through someone else that I figured I could trust explicitly ... Sure, they may have found out anyway - and I certainly don’t need their approval - but it might have softened the idea for my parents.
The other easy one that comes to mind is something I hinted at in a previous blog. And it’s not even that significant, but a different decision may have turned out better. If you recall the story about when I was at a conference with my coworker and we started fooling around - the wild and crazy thing I will not do again is drink so much that I am not able to finish my evenings without confirming my curiosities. I really do regret that we ended that experience without knowing what the next steps could have been.
I bet you guys were expecting me to say stuff about sexual experiences that I’ve had …
I think there might be only one thing I could say in that category, and it’s not so much the experience as it was the people involved. Great couple, great experiment … want to try more of the fantasy, just with people that bring more of the sexual chemistry to the moment.
And for my sexual expedition, I think that is really the foundation. I do want to try new things, I am willing to be a little wilder and crazier – as long as there’s no pain involved and no one gets hurt (emotionally or physically). But in my own mind, I don’t think that any of where I have been ranks particularly high on the “wild and crazy” list.
So, truth be told, there is nothing between the sheets I would take back, and there’s nothing wild and crazy I have done already that I don’t want to try again. Some things rank as “won’t be sad if I don’t again” while others rank pretty high on my list of “must try again.” But that might be best left for another blog!