March 8, 2011

Moving Pictures | My Live-Action Fears

I had mentioned in one of my earlier blogs that I got this sense that a lot of what is happening on the Internet these days - particularly in areas such as my naughty little hobby - is headed towards more and more video-based content.

On the advice of my husband I have temporarily forgone the saucy romance novels for my daily commute for a couple of books on marketing and social media. Part of it has been to encourage me further with my blogging and becoming more active in the behind the scenes part of my website. I suggested, in turn, he get his “nekkid ass” to the frontlines. But for now I think he is settling for a mutual appearance with me. I love him dearly, but I do suspect you guys may be in this for me, and not so much for him … pardon the brief flash of vanity.

For me, the idea of more videos is kind of a scary direction. I’ve never considered myself an actress, and doing a lot of the videos I do for you guys takes a certain amount of working up to. I always feel a little awkward in them, and struggle to get into “character.” Often when we are putting on all the final touches my hubby will get frustrated with me commenting on how ridiculous I sound or look, etc., and send me to the couch to watch TV while he works on the final version.

It took me a long time before I introduced any videos onto my site because I could never truly feel comfortable doing them. And while I do have over 20 available - with the latest one going up this week - it was a big change in my plans for this thing. I spent a long time trying to internally justify the photos, and then adding the pressure of video sent me into cold sweats.

It’s challenging to see myself doing something of those things without my conscience questioning my fate. And now with the idea of the web headed into more videos, I find myself struggling to come up with reasonable ideas to present; or at least ideas that will sell and not make you go “WTF is that about?”

I’m not sure what it is that intimidates me so much. I guess part of it is how “live action” brings more of the real me behind “Andee” to the surface. And that real me is a very shy and reserved person at best. I never considered how my “work” would “humanize” the whole idea. Doing picture sets is fairly easy because I don’t have to act much. When things aren’t working, we can edit out those moments, or fake it. With video, however, you have to be a bit more engaging.

I think something else that scares me about doing them is how much will they spoil the fantasy - or how much will they create it. The unknown is always a bit frightening, regardless if it is sex or the Haunted House at Halloween. Like so many others, uncertainty for me is a stressful thing.

Andee     xoxo


F Murell said...
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F Murell said...

Good piece, Andee, appreciate the insight.

I have often wondered how amateurs deal with this stuff. They're not practiced, as it were, and are more likely to be themselves in a video, which may or may not be a good thing.

Personally I prefer the content to be, if you'll forgive me, less polished. It's the voyeur in me, because I feel that while content from the likes of, say, Brazzers, is incredibly well polished, it's completely disconnected from anything I can relate to in real life. That's why some people prefer it, obviously, but it's also why I don't.

On any level though, it's an incredibly brave thing to do.

Andee said...

Thank you for the comment. I guess as amateurs we don't necessarily go through all the behind-the-scenes stuff either though. I think that is what makes our brand of "porn" more popular ... because it is somewhat raw and unrehearsed.