Well that was just marvelous, started my day off late because some buffoon doesn’t know how to slow down when the roads are bad - “Hey Lunch Box, it snowed yesterday!” Missed my usual train and am now stuck on the milk run. My boss isn’t going to be too happy …
On the upside, listening to the guys on the radio this morning made me think. They were discussing a recent study from Queens College that found that men prefer to date a woman who lacks a little confidence and reveals her insecurities. I swear the guy in the car next to me thought I was nuts - watching me jabbering away in disgust and arguing. Good thing it’s not summer, or else he would have heard me too!
|Day 6 - Go-Go Boots|
Back in high school I had this friend who was very smart - she was also very pretty. Outside of class she would act like the dumbest fool around. It used to drive me nuts that she would pull off 98s in math, but pretend she couldn’t remember what happened in the cafeteria last week - when there were some eligible guys around. It was so obvious that she was playing all this up … did I mention it drove me nuts.
Today she’s a teacher …
I can see why some guys would be attracted to women who don’t reveal a lot of confidence, but only in a sense that it makes them feel superior to their dates. Perhaps the issue isn’t with women having confidence in themselves and who they are, but rather with the guys who don’t have the same within themselves. Perhaps it makes them feel a sense of power, or manliness … when in fact, I think it reveals a big flaw in their character.
As I am not dating, nor am I a guy, I can’t say that I find a woman who reveals too much of her insecurities very attractive. I might come across as the shrinking violet sometimes, but that’s not an actual personality trait - it’s so I can keep them guessing!
Now, let’s be fair, we all go through various stages in our lives. It’s called maturity. As we evolve into the people we are as adults, sure there are many questions and fears along the way. You might even want to say that my initial leap into the whole Internet porn thing was a sign of insecurity; a way to seek approval and acceptance from men outside my relationship.
But you would be wrong … my initial leap was the result of me not knowing which side of a dare to take with my husband. I’ve been deliciously “losing” the same bet for close to 10 years now…and I’m pretty confident I will continue along that path for a while yet.
A lot of the men that I have known, and chatted with online, have said that they find “confidence” is more of a turn-on than anything else. So it leaves me wondering where this new “information” is coming from? Really guys, do you find insecurity that much of a turn-on? Or does it really translate into “high-maintenance?”