December 21, 2010

Hey Diddle Diddle

You’re lucky day, or my batteries need replacing in my happy toy! Either way, my recent entry raised an eyebrow or two … and someone sent me a nice e-mail. I had a guy send me a really long e-mail "survey" about masturbation this afternoon. I suspect he had it previously prepared as I have only just started blogging on the whole masturbation theme. Interesting ... but I have not yet answered. I thought some of questions were really funny, so maybe I will spend some time answering them here for all to enjoy.

This one made me giggle - Do you use your fingers to masturbate?

Um...what else would I use?

Now I'm not talking using sex toys here...because they would still require some sort of manual input, then output, then input ... mmmm … don’t get me going just yet! I’m scribbling this one on my little netbook on the train ride home! So I decided to consult the ultimate on-line resource, Wikipedia. "Masturbation is the manual excitation of the sexual organs, most often to the point of orgasm. It can refer to excitation either by oneself or by another."  

God, I should really try someday to actually focus on work! Been on the inventory and quality control shift for so long I think my next photo set will truly reveal my crossed eyes! 

The other part of the equation in this little survey was questions on items I have used for some self-loving. I can honestly say, in all my days, I have not used anything exceptionally crazy. Touching on the unusual, maybe. Things that have not been a part of my pleasure include any erotically-shaped vegetable or fruit. It may look like a banana in your pocket, but you better be happy to see me and not potassium deficient. For the non-geeky ones reading me today - bananas are a better source of potassium than orgasm. 

So, what things have brought me to the point of toe-curls? I have enjoyed, more than once, the hard glass sensation of a wine bottle. Of course, getting the bottle empty and usable for masturbation was a huge contributing factor in using it. The weirdest, perhaps, is a particular vacuum cleaner I have. It’s one of those “cyclone air current” models, and that creates this really nice, low-intensity hum when you use the hose attachment. And let’s be honest here, I’d much rather get off than vacuum any day. 

The bath-tub faucet was one of my favourites when I was younger and living at home. Before I moved out on my own, I had not yet been introduced to the joy of sex toys. But combined with some finger work, the constant pulse of warm water … yowza. Plus the bathroom was about the only place I could find privacy for that kind of relief. 

But at the end of it all, I have yet to find a way to do it without using my hands on myself, I guess my answer to the original question would be, yes. Now I'm off to yoga lessons so I can figure out how to use my toes ;-)

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