As you have read time and time again, I've been somewhat involved with the guy you have come to know as my Office Guy. What began as a friendship turned into a dangerous and intriguing sexual game between two married people, culminating in a most incredible afternoon one year ago in mind-March ... and then getting weird.
It goes without saying that I have a very unique marriage. My husband has been a strong supporter - and advocate - for me to be more adventurous. As I have blogged before, we have done some soul-searching through a few personal tragedies and emotionally difficult moments in life and came to the mutual conclusion that we wanted more from our time here. We didn't want to reach the end and say "what if." And, at the same time, neither of us were looking for something else in our lives; we were just looking for something else together.
From his encouragement for me to explore my bisexual side (which both of us not-so-secretly wish would present more opportunities) to our dabbling with "swinging" (two strikes and I suspect we are both leery of experiencing a third) through to an openness to pursue something sexual with my friend at work, my husband has introduced me to an amazing sexual world that I know I would not have experienced had I not married him.
I guess for some married couples, the idea of having the freedom to explore sexually is a difficult one to understand. Traditionally, the "sanctity of marriage" is, after all, about being monogamous and exclusive.
Our marriage is definitely not in trouble ... it's just that our sexual desires and openness don't necessarily fit the traditional concept. Given the fact that we are celebrating 19 years of wedded bliss might suggest we have found something that works.
One of the greatest gifts my husband has given me over the years (and there have been many), has been that day in a hotel room a little over a year ago. To allow me the freedom to explore and turn a big fantasy into a reality - and love me even more for it - was an incredible gift. I don't think there are many men who would willing allow their wives that opportunity; and sit quietly in the corner and watch as it unfolded before them.
Sadly, that moment - which I had hoped would be the beginning of something delightfully kinky - was all there was to be for that chapter in my sexual adventure. I think, maybe, guilt on what transpired became a real emotionally struggle for my friend. Our flirtatious moments in the stairwells at work became fewer; as did my teasing visits to his office.
Don't get me wrong, I do understand the emotional challenge - and risk - when you become involved with someone outside of your marriage. And I certainly can't expect anyone to share the same outlook on sexuality and exploration as I do in my own relationship. I set out for something that was complication-free, no-strings, let's just have some dirty, naughty sexual fun and get Andee turned on and fucked hard.
This week, my friend announced that he was leaving for a new job. And so, for the most part, the "affair" is over. It had been for some time already ... this just made it a little more realistic. Will there be any future opportunities to reconnect, rekindle, revisit the excitement that was? I think only time will tell.
Andee xoxo
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