April 17, 2013

Sex | Are Fantasies Better?

The article from which I borrowed this question isn't really what inspired my thoughts, as much as I found it an interesting piece. But how the question was presented by the author made me think of so much more than in the context she had intended.

So, I decided it would be better for me to expand on my own twisted imagination ...

Is the fantasy better than the reality?

Easy question, right? Not so fast. Skippy. In a lot of ways, suggesting the fantasy is better than the reality is a cop out.

We learn nothing from fantasy, other than allowing our imaginations to grow and prosper. Reality teaches us the messy truth about sexual encounters, for the good and the bad. Fantasies don't fumble with condom wrappers that seemingly do not want to be torn open in the heat of the moment. They don't leave wet spots in the middle of the bed, or angry wives searching for text messages on cell phones.

Fantasies allow us to sterilize the idea into a perfect dream where nothing goes wrong and everything ends like a summer sunset. They are controlled by the limits of our imagination; and frankly only have the element of spontaneity that our minds allow. They lack the true colour of life because we have painted them exactly how we see them.

But as hot as fantasies can be, we don't really grow as people from them. Reality, when it comes to sexual encounters and relationships, can be pretty dirty. It can be painful and dangerous - in both good and bad ways. But mostly, reality forces us to experience something that may initially have been outside of our comfort zone, allowing us to seek achievement and recognize the value of human contact in the heat of the moment.

It may not always end in perfect Cinderella fashion, but sexual reality leaves us with the opportunity to say, at the end of it all, "I tried it." To me, that beats "If only" on any given day. Life is just too short.
Andee     xoxo


Anonymous said...

We have both lived out many, many of our fantasies and I would say that about 10% would have been best left as just that, fantasies - Cheers

miles said...

That is something of a "glass half empty" answer (or 90% empty?). The imagination sets the stage. The fact that the first performance isn't 100% perfect should only encourage you to have another performance, and maybe two on Wednesdays, including matinees. Keep imagining. Keep playing out when possible.