Is the fantasy better than the reality?
Easy question, right? Not so fast. Skippy. In a lot of ways, suggesting the fantasy is better than the reality is a cop out.
We learn nothing from fantasy, other than allowing our imaginations to grow and prosper. Reality teaches us the messy truth about sexual encounters, for the good and the bad. Fantasies don't fumble with condom wrappers that seemingly do not want to be torn open in the heat of the moment. They don't leave wet spots in the middle of the bed, or angry wives searching for text messages on cell phones.
Fantasies allow us to sterilize the idea into a perfect dream where nothing goes wrong and everything ends like a summer sunset. They are controlled by the limits of our imagination; and frankly only have the element of spontaneity that our minds allow. They lack the true colour of life because we have painted them exactly how we see them.
But as hot as fantasies can be, we don't really grow as people from them. Reality, when it comes to sexual encounters and relationships, can be pretty dirty. It can be painful and dangerous - in both good and bad ways. But mostly, reality forces us to experience something that may initially have been outside of our comfort zone, allowing us to seek achievement and recognize the value of human contact in the heat of the moment.
It may not always end in perfect Cinderella fashion, but sexual reality leaves us with the opportunity to say, at the end of it all, "I tried it." To me, that beats "If only" on any given day. Life is just too short.