Sex | My (not-so-secret) Secret Fetish

Yesterday, my friend Jon from Sex In Words, asked in his #dailysexdiscussion if anyone had a particular fetish that they kept secret. An interesting topic because it forced me to reflect on some of the sexual thirsts that I personally have, and are any of those considered to be a secret fetish.

I’ll admit that I struggle a bit with the overall concept of fetishes. Many that I have learned about since starting this online life of mine 10 years ago just confuse the hell out of me. Others I can’t even begin to fathom how they could be sexually exciting, while others I have learned to appreciate – and let’s be honest, even exploit a little for my own pleasure.

Hence, a quick trip to my trusted Google (I know, not really great research source, but it’s quick and convenient) provided me with this definition:

“Sexual fetishism, or erotic fetishism, is the sexual arousal a person receives from a physical object, or from a specific situation. The object or situation of interest is called the fetish; the person who has a fetish for that object/situation is a fetishist. A sexual fetish may be regarded as an enhancing element to a romantic/sexual relationship ‘achieved in ordinary ways (e.g. having the partner wear a particular garment)’ or as a mental disorder/disorder of sexual preference if it causes significant psychosocial distress for the person or has detrimental effects on important areas of their life. Arousal from a particular body part is classified as partialism.”

Still not a definitive direction for my personal kinks, but then most of my fetishes are probably considered to be very vanilla in a world of sexual creativity. Among the biggest attributes I look for in a man are strong hands, a nicely trimmed goatee and a great cologne make me weak in the knees. Are they fetishes? I’m not exactly sure, but when it comes to sexual excitement for me, these are very high in importance.

On the flip side, I have really come to enjoy some of the fetishes that you guys have; particularly those of stockings worn with garter belts, and the seasonal favourite footwear of boots. I love dressing up and feeling very sexy, and the attention that comes from that. Plus, it has meant that my collection of fine lingerie – versus the stuff best saved for Halloween – has grown. Trust me, I would rather slip into some Fredericks of Hollywood stockings and wear it under my dress at work than some "sexy" outfit from the discount costume shop.

So maybe that is a bit of a growing fetish for me ...

If I had to identify anything that might rank as a “secret fetish” it would be the strong desire I have to explore my oral talents. As I have blogged about before, my husband likes to suggest how good I am at this particular sex act. On the one side, it’s exceptionally flattering to think and know how much pleasure it brings him when we indulge in some oral sex – but at the same time, there is a little part of me that wonders if, after 22 years together, he is just being complimentary and thankful for getting some. I find myself often lost in thought about testing his claims, and seeing if other men agree with what my husband says.

I know that many of you will likely offer to be willing and impartial volunteers for my experiment, but as we drift away from the notion of me sucking on your erection, we still ponder the subject of the question on hand: is that a fetish, or just a fantasy?

Andee     xoxo