But I think the amount of support, encouragement and freedom I enjoy in my sexual adventure is both a blessing and a burden. It leaves me having to explain to jealous coworkers and friends that they also have the opportunity to challenge their imaginations if they work to make it happen.
Sadly, most of them still harbour the belief that “marriage” does not fit into “adventure” and “excitement” is something “we just don’t do.”
Recently, after I had opened up about some of the more socially-acceptable experiences I have been able to enjoy with my lusting husband, my friend scoffed about her own situation – how she was beginning to get a feeling of hatred towards her spouse – and although I feel for her, some of my sympathy faded because it was evident that she felt no responsibility to correct her own problems.
I found myself asking, as I listened to her: "What is the one thing you could do today to make your sex life better?"
For me, simple: invest in more short skirts and sexy dresses to wear to work.
If you have followed along and gotten to know me, you’ll know that for the most part I’m kind of a science geek. I work in a pretty conservative and sterile environment, and it can be pretty easy to fade into the background and plod along. But, it seems I married a man who enjoys building my self-esteem and self-image up, and has worked to bring about a real metamorphosis within me.
A big part of that, outside of the emotional rewards, has been his encouragement for me to be someone who stands out and looks, in his words, drool-worthy – especially at work. And it wasn’t even about expressing my sexuality as a woman, as much as it was about adding to the overall “package.” I’m proud of being a very qualified and professional individual at my work – which has earned me a good deal of respect from my superiors. My husband’s thinking was taking what I had earned and going a little further by appearing the same way – dressing for success, so to speak.
I won’t even try to hide the fact that he did have ulterior motives – he doesn’t even try to hide the fact that he loves it when I wear heels and dresses or skirts. But, at the same time, style doesn’t need to be slutty; and dressing for success can be equal to dressing for sex if you do it right.
Naturally it took me a while to reach a comfort level with being pretty much the only one in my department that wore heels, stylish dresses and skirts. But the reactions from people around me soon became a bit of an addiction. I think everyone appreciates a compliment, but it turned me on to catch some of the men I work with taking notice of what I was wearing. It didn’t take long for that kind of attention to turn into a real aphrodisiac for me.
So, each time I push the fashion envelope at work, it seems to benefit me sexually.
I can’t say that what works in my life is going to work for anyone else, but I do know when I start to feel a little down, or not as attractive as I would like, my solution is to focus on changing the mood around me first. Once you begin to see the change in how people treat you, and can find comfort in knowing that some of it is based on sexuality, you might be amazed at how much more enjoyable getting up and going to work can be.
There will be many who think that opening yourself up, as a woman, to the attention of men in the workplace equates “sexual harassment.” In some cases they may be right … but in other situations, it’s also a case of “get over yourself and enjoy the fact you can still catch their eye.”