TMI Tuesday, I am bringing you to the brink of self-satisfaction with my thoughts on solo sex. That’s right, we’re back to discussing masturbation! However, before you reach for some facial tissue – what an odd name for something when that’s only part of the job it does – you need to know that this is about my habits, not how I do it.
1. How often do you masturbate?I don’t think this is something I could say “twice a week” to. Like intercourse, it kind of changes with the cycle of my libido. There are some weeks when I am especially horny and find a little solo time daily … or twice daily. And then there are weeks when my favourite little sex toy sits in my night stand collecting dust, anxiously awaiting for the drawer to crack open and be sprung into action with the intensity of a new battery.
But having said that, masturbation is a regular part of my sex life. Being one of those women who needs a little extra help (due to some physical changes after childbirth) achieving orgasm, masturbation is something I am extremely comfortable with. It also helps that I have a partner who has an affection for sex toys and a saint’s level of patience. As my experience grew with the things he would bring home for me, so did my enthusiasm for even more twisted and kinky experiences. You can even watch me test a couple of really big ones in my latest video!
It’s also something that I have become more comfortable with as I … um … got better at it …? I used to view masturbation as a much more private moment than it is these days, but with experience, experimentation and the addition of delightful little gadgets, my comfort level grew to a point where it could be a key part of intimacy in my relationship. My website helped, of course, with the introduction of some pretty steamy videos where you get to watch me pleasure myself.
2. What are you doing to celebrate Masturbation Month?I can’t honestly say that I knew that there was a month dedicated specifically to the act. Although now that I do know there is a month for it, I will certainly dedicate a round or six in honour of those who have cum before me. I might even go as far as offering a helping hand for masturbation in honour of those who are not able to do it themselves. I’m a giving kind of person that way. Who knows, I might even film a documentary on the subject … or at least turn on the camera for a homemade porn flick for you to enjoy while I masturbate!
I guess you could say it won’t necessarily change my pattern or frequency.
3. Do you like to watch your partner masturbate?
a. Yes, it turns me on
b. Sometimes, because it gets my partner very aroused
c. Not really, it’s boring
d. No, it’s a turn off
e. I’ve never experienced it but I would like toWithout question, I am an a-type personality when it comes to my partner’s masturbating. I would love it if he would let me watch even more often. I think it’s exceptionally sexy to watch someone pleasure themselves, even though it took me a while to be comfortable as the one being watched.
In the early days of my introduction to the naughty side of the Internet, I would secretly login to certain sites when my husband was working and flirt, chat – and watch guys do their thing for me. It was an exciting experience for me to learn that I could get men to share that on webcam – especially since they would frequently be asking for me to do that for them! I don’t know if I can say I miss those days, or if I just miss having the time on my hands that I had back in those days!
4. Do you let your partner watch you masturbate?
a. Yes, it turns me on to be watched
b. Sometimes, because it gets my partner very aroused
c. No, it’s embarrassing
d. I’ve never experienced it but I’d like toHmm, there’s not really a true definition in this for me. I let my husband watch/participate/do it for me very often, because about 80% of the time, I am masturbating myself to orgasm after we have sex. It’s not so much about it turning me on that he is there, but more about continuing the sexual moment to a point where we each have climaxed. Sometimes this is before we have intercourse – because of how incredible it feels to have him in me right after I have cum; while other times it is after we have made love and I am looking to “finish” things off for myself (as I alluded to earlier).
Away from those experiences, there have been times when I have done it for him as a way to get him excited. A hint of foreplay, perhaps. Regardless, any time sex is on the agenda is a good time.
5. Mutual masturbation, yeah or nay?Oh god, yes! But the biggest challenge in mutual masturbation is trying to refrain from taking it to screwing like rabbits once each of us is all horned up from manual genital manipulation. Where I see this as a more intriguing option is the few occasions I have had with phone sex, and the aforementioned early days of exploring with webcam.
6. If you had an all-expense-paid trip to San Francisco to attend Masturbation-a-Thon 2012, would you go and masturbate? Why or why not?Unfortunately the only answer to this one is a very wishy-washy “maybe.” The idea is exceptionally erotic, but once those initial thoughts wane, you start to realize that most people who attend events like these aren’t exactly the erotic types you want to share a masturbatory experience with. Jennifer Aniston is not going to sit in a conference room chair across from me and let me watch what she does with her hands between those sexy legs … nor will I get the chance to watch Thor actor Chris Hemsworth handle his hammer!
Reality is, most of the attendees to events like this tend to be either tattooed and pierced sexual/gay activists, or pasty-pale basement dwellers looking for a kink to add to their deviant track record. Like Pride Day, those participating generally don't speak for the majority. It’s the same reality that takes the eroticism out of nude beaches. The people you want to see naked are never the ones that are naked.
I know that sounds rather harsh and judgmental, but let’s be honest, we recognize that it’s close to the truth. I’m not into the act of masturbation for a political – or even a social – statement. For me, it is an experience that is meant to bring sexual satisfaction to me. Selfish, yes. But while I may strike the hypocritic nerve for my position, I just think it’s something that should not be considered an “agenda item” … which is what events like this tend to make it.
BONUS: Are you addicted to masturbating?No, I wouldn’t say I am addicted to masturbating. What I would say is that if masturbation was an Olympic sport, I would most definitely qualify for the team. Practice makes perfect … and I like to practice as much as I can and as often as the mood strikes.
And now, with all that behind me, I think I might go celebrate!